Suit of the Week: Banana Republic Factory

180 Comments

1. Bye Justice Kennedy. You were mediocre while you lasted, with flashes of greatness. May you retirement be boring.

   1. Was he related to JFK? If so, I will miss him b/c I loved reading about JFK, and RFK, and TFK, as they were all Boston royalty. Grandma Leyeh said that if she could come back in another life, it would be as a Kennedy! Can you imagine? A Kennedy from the Bronx? OMG!

      Kat I have been workeing so hard I have NOT had time to p’ost! My new associate is good, but she needs to learn alot from me to do well here. That is why I have been so busy! And I can ONLEY bill my time to her with NO uplift, as she is NOT yet billeing cleints. FOOEY!

2. Welp, that just happened. Any guesses for potential nominees??

   1. I suspect Trump will go with someone even less sane than Gorsuch this time. I cannot even begin to guess who that is. Still processing all the SCOTUS news this week. My brain hurts.

      1. Seriously…. what a week. Crushing.

         Kennedy retiring? weak….

         Long live RBG!

   2. I shouted “Cr*p!” at the top of my lungs when I saw the announcement and my assistant shouted back “I know, right?”

      At least my team shares my utter despair today.

      1. I said “Oh f” out loud, pretty loud. A partner a few offices down knew why and came over to commiserate.

3. Recent SCOTUS decisions and Kennedy’s retirement announcement are more than I can take. We aren’t even halfway through this nightmare and the long term effects will go on long after. I need coping help or commiseration.

   1. I’m angry he couldn’t hang on at least until midterms. And I’m just trying not to think too hard about the long term effects because, dang. I don’t know that I could function.

      Bye-bye, voting rights, reproductive rights, workplace safety, consumer protections. You were nice while you lasted.

      1. Exactly. Hang on until midterms or resign while Obama was still in office. This is the worst.

         1. Can somebody explain to me why it would’ve been better if he had hung on until midterms?

            1. On the very slim chance Democrats retake the Senate, Trump would have to make a moderate nominee if he wanted to actually get someone on the bench.

      2. Yep. It’s pretty clear that Kennedy’s a-okay with letting Trump name his successor. Way to let your true colors shine.

      3. I agree. He knows the impact of his timing, and I guess he is happy with it. He wants Trump to replace him. This is so depressing. Executive orders, legislation, departmental policy–these things can be undone. But court rulings and judges are with us for a very long time…well after I am gone. Reproductive rights will come up in the near future, I am sure.

   2. And after two disappointing decisions coming out this week, on top of everything else. Could someone please pass the wine?

      1. What’s the second disappointing decision?

         1. Janus?

            1. NIFLA v. Becerra.

            2. Pregnancy “health” centers, yep. So that makes three disappointing decisions this week.

   3. Livid.

      But hey, at least some people didn’t have to deign to #holdtheirnose and vote for #crookedhillary. God, what a nightmare *that* would have been. This way we got that #revolution toward more progressive policies because we didn’t just say we were fine with more of the same “corporatist dems” in power. Definitely going according to plan. (, for the confused)

      1. *That should say , for the confused.

      2. Seriously. I hope all the Bernie bros who said there was no difference between Hillary and Trump are happy. Republicans will have control of the Court for 20 years, minimum.

      3. +1. Since Hillary wasn’t perfect I guess this is acceptable to people?

         1. yeah at least our president isn’t some shrill, harpy shrew-lady, amiriteguise?

            PS: HER EMAILS!

            I’m cranky today.

            1. + a lady whom many found UNATTRACTIVE!!! Can you imagine?!?!

            2. I mean her HUSBAND didn’t want her, why should WE??!

               Sorry, sorry, so angry

            3. Oh my god, I was livid when people were making those comments on Facebook. Women I liked and respected thought it was HILARIOUS joke!

      4. I have a cousin who lives in OHIO who decided not to vote because he just found Secretary Clinton “meh”. Every time he posts on FB I want to all caps scream at him that this mess is his fault. Ps, he is an immigrant to the US (albeit a white one).

         Gah.

         1. If Ohio had gone the other way, Trump still would have won.

         2. I was talking with some of those mythical moderate conservatives who “aren’t racist” and “don’t like Trump” but who just “couldn’t stomach” Hillary this weekend (“if it had been anyone but Hillary!!!11) and they kept saying that they just “thought she was too corrupt.” Okay, how? “She just is.” Okay, what about Trump? “He’s honest about it!”

            Are you f’ing KIDDING ME with this? You’re gonna go with this insane grifter because he’s honest about how corrupt he is? Bull. You just don’t care. These are supposed to be the highly intelligent trump voters. Yeah, they’re legitimately highly intelligent. For sure. Not everyone who voted for him is a full moron, clearly. They just don’t care about who they’re hurting or they’re just looking out for their white boy businessman interests or they just require utter perfection from a woman where as a man can present with all manner of flaws and still be deemed a viable leader. We all know that that “honesty” about your “flaws” (read: long history of immoral and unethical conduct) would never ever ever ever ever fly with a female candidate.

   4. I am devastated. I feel like we’re entering a period of 3 decades or so of being backwards.

   5. I am also outdone with this news. I feel like everything is crumbling around us.

   6. I’m still enraged at McConnell for stealing Scalia’s seat from the Democrats. If Garland had been confirmed (which he should have been), Kennedy retiring wouldn’t concern me as much.

      1. Agree. Likewise, I’m finding it hard to be angry at Kennedy. Democratic presidents aren’t allowed to appoint SCOTUS judges now—- Am I the only one who got the memo?

      2. If the seat was stolen, find a legal remedy for it.

         Oh, wait, the Senate had every right to do what they did, and if HRC won and the Dens retook the Senate, Garland would have been appointed.

         Sorry that “resolve the deadlock between two branches of government” resulted in a humiliating loss for your side.

         1. Bull.

            If they had every right to do so, prove it. Should be pretty easy for you, shouldn’t it? I’m guessing you’re our resident “smart” conservative woman? Lol.

            1. The US Constitution gives the Senate a lot of leeway into advice and consent.

               /smackdown

            2. And shouldn’t you be able to show that it wasn’t not legal?

               Have fun with that, my vicious little interlocutor.

            3. Smack down? Really? You sound like an infant. Vicious? Oh, okay, I guess we just have the contingent of folks who just hate me. Carry on then.

               “And shouldn’t you be able to show that it wasn’t not legal?”

               Not my burden to show why your obviously—and admittedly– politically-motivated break from precedent (to use the term loosely) was permissible.

               Also.. understand that sometimes there isn’t a “legal remedy” for everything, even if that thing is wrong, right? You get that? It’s not like this issue had ever been litigated before….

            4. You’re so unhinged it’s hilarious.

               1. It’s called the “Biden rule” and is completely in line with precedent. Look up the last time a Supreme Court appointment has been made during a Presidential election year, and then look up when it’s to replace someone appointed by the party not in the White House.

               2. Again, Biden rule.

               3. Borking. Robert Bork. We haven’t forgotten, even if you have. Your side has treated our nominees like dirt for over 30 years; we’ve given yours a fair hearing and a vote up until 2016, when we invoked the Biden Rule. Now you’re a cesspool of rage that we’re fighting back. We aren’t playing even a fraction as dirty as you are, but you’re like an abusive, cheating boyfriend who can’t believe his girlfriend is not obeying his every order.

         2. Fine, so when the democrats pull the same sh** and refuse to give a nominee a hearing because “it’s an election year” (even though it’s 9 months from an election), you’ll be fine with that, right?

            1. The “Biden Rule” was about US presidential elections, but yes, I am okay with Dems doing whatever they want now or in 2020.

   7. I basically said the same thing this morning. I don’t think a lot of people get how crucial and long-lasting the makeup of SCOTUS is, or how significant some of the recent decisions have been. It is really a nightmare scenario playing out, and I still cannot completely believe this is happening in America.

   8. Democrats should go 100% scorched earth and refuse to accept any nominee who isn’t Garland. I’m 100% serious.

      1. Agreed! Civility is not the correct path here. The other side is not not operating with any good will. There are actual lives at stake here, now is not the time to be concerned about good manners.

         1. We go high when they go low is only appropriate when the President is not trying to set up an authoritarian regime and has already reached step 7 in the Megalomaniac’s Guide to Genocide.

         2. I keep pasting this link, but f*ck these calls for civility.

            https://theestablishment.co/the-privilege-of-civilized-political-discourse-36e43026037b

      2. But they can’t “refuse to accept” him. Republicans have 51 (or at least 50, if McCain stays home) Senate votes. The filibuster is gone.

         The left needs to mobilize in the streets and figure out a combination of shame and how to fracture the Republican party to hold up a nomination. I’m livid.

   9. And think how many judges Trump has installed in the lower courts. It has happened so quickly, so quietly while the conservatives blocked Obama for years from appointing any of his lower court judges…. so quietly.

      SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!

      1. Yes, this is in many ways a much bigger deal than SCOTUS and has not received the attention it deserves. His judicial nominees aren’t just right-wing, many of them are wildly unqualified.

   10. Why is this a big deal? He’s a republican right (Reagan appointee) who’ll be replaced by another republican. How does the balance shift?

       1. Are you simple?

          Do you know how long SCOTUS appointments last?

          Do you have any idea how conservative Kennedy is relative to the likely appointee?

          Once you answer those two questions, you’ll be able to piece together why this is such a huge problem.

       2. He is pretty centrist, and has been the deciding vote in some important progressive decisions, and the presumption is that’s Trump’s pick would be much less so.

   11. Honestly what does the Supreme Court do that affects any aspect of your daily lives? Genuinely curious. It’s all social and/or academic issues as far as I can tell. Examples? Other than the travel ban because I highly doubt any of you are posting from Iran trying to get to the US.

       1. “It’s all social and/or academic issues as far as I can tell.”

          You have to be a tr0ll. You can’t possibly be this ignorant. I’m calling it- don’t feed this one.

          1. No and I’m a lawyer. I see decisions on things like which bakery can say no to your cake and my first thought is – go down the block to the next one that’ll take your money. Or think – how many people are REALLY affected by a travel ban – it’s not like everyone in Iran wants to be in the US. I just think most of the concerns taken up by the Supreme Court have pragmatic work arounds.

             1. A bakery able to discriminate now, a complete rollback on all civil rights later. Surely, you’ve heard of “slippery slope”?

       2. Young v. UPS in 2015– pregnancy discrimination. Gay marriage. Labor unions. Women’s bodily autonomy. The right not to be discriminated against on the basis of sex, race, sexual orientation, or religion. The right (or not, apparently) to equal service in a restaurant/bakery/other place of business. Citizens United has totally reshaped our election funding and affected who gets elected to the legislature that makes our laws.

          1. So it’s a HUGE deal if bakery one says they won’t bake your cake? You can’t go to bakery two that’s willing to do it?

             1. It’s a HUGE deal if someone is discriminated against. You’re either being intellectually dishonest or you’re just a simpleton. Which is it.

             2. That assumes there is a bakery two that’s willing to do it. Like most the rest of my extended family, my cousin is from a (religious) college town in a very conservative state. He got married last winter. He literally could not find an indoor wedding venue within an hour’s drive that would continue to talk to him after he disclosed it was a gay wedding or gave them the obviously-male name of his fiance (and this was *before* the SCOTUS decision). The wedding ended up happening at a place about 80 miles away, but the distance meant my elderly grandparents were not able to attend and most the guests had to brave travelling through a snowstorm to make it (a lot of people arrived during the ceremony or left before the reception). In rural America, where you are more likely to find prevailing opposition to LGBT or interracial marriages, there usually aren’t an endless number of service providers.

          2. Well summarized of immediate issues that really do impact people’s day-to-day lives. I will also add voting rights, gerrymandering, and data privacy – these are issues that will be before the Court in the coming years and will have enormous impact on the lives of Americans of all political stripes, including yours. The majority of the SCOTUS decisions per year are unanimous or much more closely decided. Those are the ‘academic’ ones you speak of and they might not trickle down beyond the parties and lawyers involved in those specific niche areas. But historically, at the end of the term, the Court decides a lot of social issues. Given that a Court appointee is a lifetime appointment, these social issues actually go on to shape the arcs of our lives and our generations. (This is not just among the Supreme Court but within the lower court appointees, too. That will surely impact your life, Anonymous.) Particularly given how useless Congress has been the past… decade, the Supreme Court really does affect us all.

             President Trump will absolutely appoint a more conservative justice than Justice Kennedy. And worth noting that while Kennedy has been considered a ‘swing’ vote, he does not plot down the middle but rather “just not as far conservative” as say, Alito, Thomas, or Scalia did.

             And before you dispute me, I spent a year’s thesis on reading four decades of Supreme Court caselaw and to create data analytics to plot exactly where a justice falls on the spectrum of conservative v. liberal.

       3. People who live in solidly blue states may be ok, but women living in red states could see significant changes to reproductive rights (possibly extending to even contraception access). LGBT folks may see curtailment of civil rights (Lawrence v. Texas was decided by left-leaning justices and two moderate swing votes; Obergefell was 5-4 with Kennedy the deciding vote). I’m sure there are many more examples you could find by doing a Google search/trying to educate yourself a bit.

          1. Those things are already decided. Are you afraid they’ll all be suddenly over turned?

             1. Yes. Obviously.

             2. ………………..yes

                where have you been?

                Are you aware that there’s been a well organized (and troublingly effective) campaign to undermine and eventually undo RvW going on for the last three decades? It’s not *sudden* to anyone who has been paying attention.

       4. Wow. Must be nice.

          Here’s a couple, just from this week alone…. I wont explain the relevance to the court decisions as I am sure you are up on those.

          Several of my colleagues are Iranian American. They are doctors and scientists and are now regularly harassed when traveling, and now they are in a panic about their families and their futures. One is my best friend.

          My brother is a labor organizer. He struggles to lift Americans workers from poverty and into safer working environments, and sees the illegal actions of employers against their workers every day (the things he has seen….) and now is crushed as he sees the death of Unions on the horizon. The free rider problem is real, and when you are really poor, sometimes you can’t see the value in dues for your union.

          1. But your brother has decided that he gets to tell poor people how to live. Sure maybe a Union is better for them but if they need that $40 in dues now or simply want to drink it away, that’s your choice. I’m guessing your brother isn’t worried about strangers’ futures so much as his own long term career — which would be the right reaction.

             1. Obviously you don’t know much about the kids that do the road work for unions. It’s not much of a career, as he barely makes enough money for rent. But the impact of the work is huge and its very rewarding, although very stressful and at times, totally disillusioning.

                No, he’s worried about them. My family and relatives are working class.

             2. Oh christ. You don’t even understand the first thing about these issues, do you? Or you just don’t care about people at all. It appears to be both. Pretty lame. I hope you never ever need another person’s help.

       5. I’m a regulatory lawyer so changes to federal law impact my clients (healthcare industry) in more than an academic fashion.

       6. I’m a wealthy white lawyer married to another wealthy white lawyer and we live in the suburbs with our healthy kid in a house we can afford and enough insurance to cover almost any unanticipated life circumstance. So no, most of what the Supreme Court does won’t affect me personally.

          But looking out for those of us who already have health and wealth and security and the American dream isn’t the function of the Court. Its to insure that those who haven’t had the same good fortune still have the opportunity to earn it.

          If I’d gotten pregnant in high school and went to a crisis pregnancy center that lied to me about my choices – it’s unlikely I would have ended up where I am. If my father’s public-sector union job hadn’t given him the opportunity to raise a middle-class family despite his high school education, I don’t know that I could have gone to college. My high school boyfriend, a wonderful man from Iran who has gone on to have a beautiful family and successful career, would never have been allowed into the country if Trump’s travel ban had been in place in the 1980’s when his family immigrated.

          The Court is supposed to level the playing field. The intent of the constitution is equality, not sustaining power for those who already have it. The decisions in the past few days should terrify all of us; not because it threatens what we have, but because we’re not selfish a-holes and we should want future generations to have at least the same opportunities that we did.

          1. Eh – ok. If abortions aren’t available, people will still get them on the DL or abstain. If your dad didn’t have a union job, he would’ve provided some other way. People work around things.

             1. If abortions are not available, women die.

             2. Because they can’t go two states over or to Canada and get one there? They can’t simply not garden?

             3. you really just don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you? jesus, this comment section is full of selfish, abhorrent filth lately.

             4. You make it sound like you think “not gardening” is a solution to an unwanted pregnancy. That’s not a good faith argument.

             5. So no laws or political leaders are better than others, because people find workarounds? Maybe you are burned out on sky-is-falling rhetoric, but this is still an obviously stupid attitude to take.

             6. Anon @ 5:49 – NO, they cannot “go two states over or to Canada.” Many many many people in the United States do not have the wealth, transportation, childcare, or available PTO/sick days to travel even one town over to have an abortion. Please understand that you are literally one of the luckiest people on the entire planet to be able to say “can’t they just travel two states over?” because that means you can travel two states over and pay whatever is asked to have an abortion. That means that you have available transportation and a job that you will not be fired from for doing so.

                I won’t even get into waiting periods, consent requirements, etc.

                If abortions are illegal, women will die.

             7. If you are so adverse to getting pregnant that you would risk your life to kill your kid, then maybe you should institute a “no glove no love” policy, at a minimum. Then reconsider who you are sleeping with, if you would rather die than have his child.

             8. anon @ 6:33, stop it right there.

                1. “kill your kid” is bait. Its not killing and its not a “kid” its a group of cells that has no feelings/thoughts.
                2. “no glove no love” policy as though contraception cant fail? no form of contraception is 100% effective. cond0ms break, “at a minimum.” also, before you say to “just abstain,” women get r@ped (not only women, of course, but we’re talking about women here).
                3. “reconsider who you’re sleeping with” we dont s1ut shame around here. women can sleep with whomever they want! they are still not required to carry that individual’s child if they don’t want to.
                4. “if you’d rather die than have his child” ok this is also bait. women should not, ever, have to choose between being a mother and death because women are not baby carrying vessels. I can’t beLIEVE i even had to type that.
                5. there are many reasons besides not wanting to have a certain individual’s child that a woman would choose to have an abortion. Women don’t exist solely for their relationship with men. Not every woman wants to be a mother, not every woman wants to pass on undesirable traits to another generation, not everyone woman wants another person to be subjected to the horrific injustices, racism, discrimination, pollution and poisoning of our earth, that exist in today’s society.

             9. 6:33

                You realize cond0ms fail sometimes, right? Okay, cool, next argument.

                Some women just don’t want kids. Don’t care who daddy is. They just don’t want ’em, or don’t want ’em right then. Okay, cool, next argument.

                “Simply” not garden? Simply? You realize that destroying your romantic relationships isn’t simple for most people, right? How long do you think most marriages would last if one partner just decided that there was no more s*x ever? You also realize that for the vast majority (but certainly not all!) of people, intimate relationships with loving partners are one of the most fundamental parts of the human experience? Not something that can or should be so easily chucked away.

                You realize some women are abused, huh? Some are r@ped? There is no such thing as “simply” not having s*x for your childbearing years. Come on.

                You’re not even trying to get creative here.

                To the other fool who said that women will just get abortions the DL, you know you’re only talking about rich women who can just take a little vacay to a decent state to get appropriate medical care, right? You know that not everyone has the means to do that, right? Not everyone has as much money or flex time as the little rich girl on the internet with her silk collar job? Mmmk. Cool. Try again next time.

          2. No, because travel requires money and not everyone has the money to do so, not to mention being able to take time off? I’m wording this as a question, because the answer it so obvious I’m wondering if I’m actually missing something.

             As far as “simply not garden,” I mean if preaching abstinence hasn’t worked on even the unmarried christian evangelical women who get knocked up all the time, I’m not sure how much of an effective message it really is. Not to mention rape.

       7. I’m a gay woman with a wife and young child. I can say pretty darn confidently that a certain 2015 Supreme Court decision has greatly affected my daily life.

4. Pet peeve alert.

   Twill just describes the interlacement of the threads in the fabric. It doesn’t describe the fiber content at all. Twill can be made of wool, silk, cotton, rayon, or any number of other fibers. In this case, it’s made of a polyester mix.

   1. Keep posting your fabric stuff. I am the same! Former sewist, now more of a knitter, all around fiber snob.

   2. +1. Careful though. I once pointed out a dress featured here actually had an empire waist, not darts, and my comment got stuck in m0 d…along with every other post I tried making for about a week.

      1. +1. I think everyone with knowledge of fabric and garment construction should share it. If you know the correct terminology it’s a lot easier to search online for what you need.

5. My husband and I are BURNT OUT. We are looking to book a trip to Hawaii next month as an anniversary/birthday/his graduation gift. Where should we go? He has never been before, and I have many times but have not been back in like 15 years. Main goal is relaxing (like a second honeymoon) but since we are looking at 8 days or so, we will have lots of time to do exploration or visit other islands. I also enjoy being near life outside the resort, like little restaurants and towns but don’t want pure city. Which island should we go to? Maui? Any other strong preferences for other ones? The weather looks good in July but should we avoid the north or south of certain islands due to wind?

   Thank you!

   1. Kauai! It’s the most “country” of the island. Has beautiful resorts (Hyatt I’m looking at you) but is easy and quick to get away from them.

   2. We went to Kaui last summer for 7 nights and spent half our time on the north shore and half on the south. It was the perfect mix of relaxing and activities and since both sides of the island are quite different it almost felt like we were at more than one place. I’d previously been to Maui and Hawaii and wanted to try some place new. We split our time between the St Regis in Princeville and the Hyatt near Poipu

   3. big fan of Maui – I’ve stayed twice in Paia, Maui and used it as homebase to explore the rest of the island. Upcountry Maui is also lovely and very different than the coastal area – if into it, pick up homegrown lavendar and vanilla!

6. I feel the same way. I’m trying to be an active informed, engaged citizen but I can only take so much. I’m scared for the future of our country. And the fact that people willingly put DONALD TRUMP in charge of choosing those who determine the laws of our land. Lifetime appointments. Unbelievable.

   Trying to find the silver lining here. People will be more riled up for midterms?

   1. Ehhh maybe? If people weren’t fired up by a stolen seat I’m not sure why they’d be fed up by a fair and square appointment.

   2. I think if anything this fires up the GOP. They can justify voting for anyone, however awful or unqualified, because “the Court.”

      I honestly came here b/c I just got too depressed with the news and – haha – not sure what I was thinking there.

      1. My two year old’s daycare got a class pet. It’s a fish. They named it grapes. They all agreed grapes is a wonderful name for a fish.

         *that cheers me up sometimes-I hope it made you smile.

         1. This did make me smile. Thank you :)

         2. Thank you for this. I hope it’s a purple fish.

         3. My 3-year-old’s class fish is named Rudy :)

7. I feel like I look like Hillary Clinton / Angela Merkel when I wear pants.

   I am a pear. I am 5-4. My natural waist is very high and I have a very short torso. Is there a way to look longer / leaner? I wear max 2″ heels. Just embrace the s*ck?

   I have a VVIP meeting coming up that I have to fly in for. Day 1 will be a skirt suit; day 2 I will wear the matching pants. Each day will be with a crewneck microfiber shell as a blouse and some sort of necklace.

   I want to look like a rockstar. I want to do better but am a bit lost.

   1. I also have a high natural waist, but I’m not much of a pear shape, more an hourglass. I find that low-mid rise pants make me look stumpy, as do pants that are cut “straight” or wide. I look for pants with a high rise and that are more skinny/tapered.

      Since you’re wearing a suit, I’m assuming your suit pants don’t meet those criteria otherwise there wouldn’t be an issue. Can you wear the skirt suit twice? Or find another suit that has pants with a higher rise and a narrower leg?

8. First glance at this post and I thought Kat was recommending some pajamas.

   1. u sleep in a blazer?

      1. Not the op but, I mean yeah, on casual Fridays. Most days I sleep in a full suit with nude hose. Hair in a sensible French twist. Subtle makeup and closed toe heels.

         1. I just snorted LaCroix up my nose. Bless you, Anonymous @3:50

         2. Would you classify this as Bedtime Business?

         3. Weekend Open Thread: Are My Jammies Professional?

         4. You just gave me the hiccups. Thank you!

      2. Reminds me of “Business Time” from Flight of the Conchords.

         It’s Business Time, that’s why they call ’em Business socks

         1. YESSSSSS

      3. Don’t you? How unprofessional

9. So this Kennedy announcement might be the final straw for me. I’ve noticed myself getting angrier and angrier over the past few months, but especially in the last 3-4 weeks. For me, anger is my no. 1 symptom of sliding into depressed thinking. That and an increase in evening alcohol consumption (not anything truly worrisome – but going from a glass of wine or a beer with dinner on friday and saturday, to wanting a glass every night to unwind). I feel like I’ve got to unplug, but how? Delete facebook and twitter? Stop following this site? I’ve already stopped watching the news because I just can’t (and I don’t want my kids to see/hear). I am sure I am not the only one. What is working for some of you? I know it’s not good to turn off and tune out, but I am worried about my own mental health here…

   1. Same. I don’t want to pay attention any longer. But I can’t *not* pay attention. Because things turn completely upside down week-to-week anymore. It’s just too much.

   2. You just literally took the words out of my mouth. I also have some stress at work right now but I would normally be able to handle that. I feel like I can’t handle anything else at the moment. I can’t wait until my therapy appointment tomorrow. I’m also looking forward to whiskey, xanax, or both tonight. I’m at my wits end and not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

   3. It’s not a perfect solution but I try to not check the news all day. I’m not on FB or Twitter. I got a hard copy newspaper subscription that I read/skim in the morning and then try to stay away the rest of the day. It’s not a perfect solution and fails me on days like today, esp. when so much of the news is legally relevant. But it helps.
      I also find historical perspective to be helpful. John Meachum (sp.?) is somewhat optimistic.

   4. Exercise? Make a plan to scream every weekend? (Saturday’s screaming cannot come soon enough.) I think there’s a middle ground between engaging to the detriment of your mental health and completely checking out. We can’t hide our heads in the sand until they come for us.

      Hugs. This sucks.

   5. Swimming

      It is like going into an isolation chamber.

      1. Oh, lap swimming is maybe a good call. I’ve been doing hot yoga, which is my other way to tune out (I’m too focused on not dying to think), but swimming is such a good therapy…

   6. Turn off Msnbc? Seriously you’re looking fo reasons to be angry. How has trump affected YOUR daily life? Are you a farmer dealing with tariffs on your goods in China? Is your kid in HHS’s possession? If not, turn off Maddow.

      1. Ok, thanks. Not helpful. As I noted, I don’t watch TV anymore (ok, some Netflix and some sports, but no news). And frankly, it’s not the what of what’s happening right now as much as it is the tenor and the discourse that is really getting to me. And comments like this one. Comments like this are what are making me stabby. So thanks.

         1. But why? Seriously do you have a kid with HHS right now? Are you posting from Iran unable to get here? Are you a farmer that can’t move his soy? If not, why are you SO upset?

            1. Because people care for more than just themselves. Shocking concept, I know. But also, I’m Muslim and stark contrast between the SCOTUS’s stance in the cake shop ruling v. the Muslim ban make it pretty clear that the highest court of this country is willing to protect Christian rights but doesn’t care about other religious minorities. This sentiment was already expressed by the President and his supporters and its disheartening to see another branch of government doing the same.

            2. Not the OP but I worry every day of my life about my child getting shot in school or at the mall. That’s not a uniquely Trump issue but it’s certainly a Republican one.

            3. “I got mine, screw you” is a terrible, inhumane attitude. Have some compassion.

            4. It’s called empathy, you feckless twit.

            5. Pretty sure this is the same pathetic sociopath who’s been hanging around here pretending that she’s incredulous that most us display *empathy* for fellow humans. Or bragging about how she’s pulling the ladder up behind her. Not interesting. Not impressive. Not persuasive. She’s just a privileged, spoiled, cruel person.

            6. Wow, nasty woman, that’s a lot of projection you have going on.

            7. Lol, really? Projection? Might want to look up what that vocab word means. You might hate me, or think I’m a mean nasty twit, but you for sure can’t reasonably say that I lack empathy, that I don’t recognize my privilege, or don’t support a social safety net. (Unless you’re the one who thinks that my uterus is a social safety net.) You’ll also see that I’m hardly alone in my assessment of you (er, that poster… sure) Better luck next time!

         2. Stabby? Like how a US Congressman was almost assassinated playing baseball last year because the Left’s discourse has been so antagonistic?

      2. My father is a farmer dealing with tariffs. They are killing agriculture. Do you like your white bread? If the wheat farmers & corn farmers go out of business (and kill themselves… rural suicides are up far more than the overall suicide rate in the country, which is also rising), you won’t be eating it. Or pork or beef.

         I have friends who were considering immigrating to the U.S. but because they are terrified that their children will be taken away from them if they don’t cross every T and dot every I just so on the immigration forms, they’ve decided against it. And our local university lost out on hiring prestigious faculty.

         I have friends who have pre-existing health conditions. And I have pre-existing health conditions that would make . Mr President & his cadre of thieves & grifters are trying to get a judge to allow them to eliminate the requirement that pre-existing conditions be covered with no waiting period, so they can make more money. It will mean that people like my friend in Chicago who has had asthma since she was 6 months old and requires daily medication to stay alive will die.

         I don’t have to look for reasons to be angry. This Administration brings them to my doorstep. I go home each night and wonder what new outrage they can perpetrate. And they do it again. Every day.

         1. Rural suicides were way up during the Obama years, but that was just, um… bitter clangers who didn’t understand their own privilege and were angry that minorities were now doing well.

            Your would-be immigrant friends are tools. The “children being taken away” happens because people knowingly cross the border illegally, then make a claim for asylum when caught. The asylum claims are bs – they should be made at the first safe country and at a border crossing – but we have to, because of our laws, deal with them.

            That’s not “failing to cross every t”; it’s deliberately exploiting loopholes in our laws.

            Since the 1990s, preexisting conditions have had to be covered when moving from one job-based insurance plan to another, provided that the gap in coverage has been minimal. Perhaps we should have expanded that, but the way insurance works, a preexisting condition is not an insurable risk. (In property insurance, you cannot buy flood insurance within a week of a hurricane.)

      3. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-dont-know-how-to-explain-to-you-that-you-should_us_59519811e4b0f078efd98440

   7. Delete Facebook! Delete Twitter! Pick a maximum of one or two political-engagement tools to keep, neither of which involves social media, like recurring donations or an email list that will alert you to call your representatives about whatever important issues, or whatever makes sense for you (I don’t bother calling my reps because they’re going to oppose this administration either way, but I do donate to advocacy orgs, for instance), and delete everything else.

      “It’s not good to turn off and tune out” when that means quitting meaningful, effective action, but you being sad does not actually affect anything! It literally just makes you sad. Please give yourself permission to take a break.

   8. I think we have a tendency to believe that we’re morally obligated to expose ourselves to bad things, to prove that we believe they’re bad? Because America is deeply influenced by Puritanism and we subconsciously think it’s sinful to be happy? I’m not sure why. But that’s really not healthy, and you do have some moral obligation to take care of your own health and safety, including mentally. (If you believe in offering up suffering for others like as a religious thing, delete Twitter anyway and fast from ice cream. Seriously.)

10. What the longest you have found that a ponte dress lasts?

    I am wearing one that I am noticing a slight amount of fuzzing up on the fabric. I had one that actively pilled in the first month of wear (seat belt area), but this one seems to be pristine except for the truly minor fuzz that I notice only where the fabric folds on the bottom hem.

    Is ponte just like that? It’s not like it’s super-formal attire anyway. I’m not just sure of good ponte’s natural lifetime (this dress may be 6 years old, so I’ve definitely gotten my $ out of it).

    1. Six years of life is an amazing amount of time for any dress, ponte, wool, cotton, etc.

    2. 6 years out of a ponte dress?!?! miracle….

       How much did you pay for it?

       1. It’s from Talbots. Circa 2012? I have its twin in black and it looks 100% sharp. I have a vivid color on today and feel that it is just now starting to look non-new. May decide if it gets donated when I switch my closet at the end of summer.

          I may be a bit lumpier than I was in 2012, so I feel that this ponte, while very thick and stretchy, may require some shapewear just to smoothe me out a bit. Of course I bought indestructable ponte dress in a sheath cut . . .

          1. I think I have this same dress in black, navy, and green! Mine is still going strong.

          2. Mine is from 2012 too and I still wear it, though not weekly. I have three black ponte dresses so I rotate. My Talbots one was $22.

    3. My trusty Land’s End ponte dress is 3 years old and starting to show some wear. It’s been in almost weekly rotation so I feel like I’ve definitely gotten my money’s worth. Six years is awesome for any dress!

    4. I am wearing one of my go to Tahari by ASL. They are over 2 years old and I wear each one 4-5 times per month all seasons and wash once per week. Still good as new

11. Reality check, please. My daughter and some friends are planning to attend camp together next summer, when they are 13. The friends’ parents want a parent to fly there with the kids, drop them off, and fly home, then do the same thing a week later to pick them up. If my daughter were going alone, I would just send her as an unaccompanied minor and have the camp staff pick her up at the airport. She has been flying by herself for years and can handle it fine. I think it’s ridiculous to spend $1,000 plus on two extra plane tickets plus possible hotel stays for a parent chaperone, even divided among three families. I also think It would be a great experience for the kids to fly sans parents. Who is nuts here—me or the other parents?

    1. Neither of you. Different families make different choices. There’s no need to turn this into a values judgment.

    2. Neither group is nuts, though with a typical 13 year old, particularly one who flies regularly, I would do like you and go the unaccompanied minor route.

       1. +1. I flew alone at age 11 or so (and by age 14 I was flying without a flight attendant escort) and it was fine.

    3. I am with you, but my kids flew alone at younger ages than that. I agree it is a great experience for kids to fly sans parents – I am all about any experience that teaches responsibility and independence. Plus, there are people around to help them if needed – flight attendants, airline personnel, etc. And I am sure parents will drop them off, and someone from the camp will be there to meet them at the airport on the other end? Or they will have their transit somehow planned in advance?

       Ymmv with other parents. I am always looking for opportunities like this for my kids. I am honestly so proud of my now 7 year olds for learning to walking to school without a parent, and keeping track of their keys to our apartment building. Yeah it is only 2 blocks, but I am sure some parents would think I am nuts.

       1. We have a straight-ish shot to our school once we cross a busy cut-through street that has no good lines of sight and people busy texting en route to a Starbucks.

          Am I right to think that since I’ve almost been hit crossing this street with a bright orange double BOB stroller that my kids will probably not cross safely until they are . . . 30? I trust my kids, but not multitasking drivers.

       2. Seconding neither group is nuts. People can of course make different decisions on how to raise their kids. But I really don’t think this is an expense that you should be having to pay for. If some parent wants to go, that is on them.

       3. Yeah, I got assaulted less than 2 blocks from my home, walking to school by myself, when I was 9. Not sure I will ever be ok with my young daughters walking to school alone.

          1. I’m sorry that that happened to you. How terrible to go through an assault like that. Statistically, though, it’s safer than ever for kids to walk places alone and it’s good for their development to be allowed to do so. Your daughters are very unlikely to ever be attacked by a stranger.

             1. Different anon here. I am pretty sure that not ANY of the things that have happened to me, my friends, or my family have made it into the statistics. Maybe they account for under-reporting adequately in those numbers, but part of me wonders if I should crunching my own numbers, since my bubble is where I live.

             2. Busy street crosser poster from above —

                I’d be OK letting my kids walk the rest of the way to school after crossing the busy street. Once we do that, the quantity of foot traffic picks up and it is all either other kids they know walking to school (often with parent walking the dog) or women out for a morning walk (often with dogs); they know where the friends houses are along the way. No sketchy or commercial / retail buildings along the way. The grownup drivers are the real danger.

                I imagine that I will stop walking them all the way maybe this coming year and just watching them walk in and then going back a block and then another block.

          2. And my assault occurred in suburbia. On a lovely tree lined street. He just pulled me into the alley. It can happen anywhere.

             And I agree with the person who suggested that the statistics are not representative.

       4. Yay! I’m so glad you let them walk alone. It’s so good for developing independence (sorely needed these days).

    4. Sounds like a good gig if you would otherwise need to do a mileage run to maintain status. But OMG I love to fly and would gladly taskrabbit this for you :)

       FWIW, teens are st*pid. Teens in a group are like double-plus-st*pid. I envision them getting involved in something that could lead to a Liam Neeson rescue when they are in groups that individually they’d never do.

    5. I think some airlines limit the number of unaccompanied minors on board per flight but it might depend on the age. 13 doesn’t need as much supervision as 7. Point being, they might not all be able to travel together on one flight with no chaperone. My husband loves telling the story about when he flew unaccompanied at 16 or 17, at 6’4″ and the airline made him sit in “Cubby’s corner” a little playground thing and be supervised during a layover.

       1. well, that’s just on his parents. No airlines require a 16+ year old to participate in the unaccompanied minor program. But if the parents sign up for and pay for it, then the airline has to supervise him during the whole trip, just as they would for a 5 year old. He may not have liked it, but he should complain about his parents, not an airline employee who was just doing their job.

       2. On the other hand, I flew alone at 16 but not officially as an unaccompanied minor. I had flown as an unaccompanied minor for years, and I had flown with my parents a lot. But on that trip, I had to connect in Atlanta, and my connecting flight was canceled. I couldn’t get rebooked on the later flight, and I had no real ability to get a hotel room. It was pretty stressful to think about staying alone in the airport overnight, and the Delta agents had no obligation or motivation to help me. (I ended up making the later flight because a passenger voluntarily deplaned, and the other stand-by passengers insisted to the gate agent that they put me on the flight.) It was probably character building in the end, but after that experience, I would hesitate to put even a 16-year-old on anything but a nonstop flight.

          1. Same anon-editing to add that I’d probably let a 16-yo fly alone with a connecting flight if I had a backup plan (a friend or family member I trusted) in the connecting city.

    6. I was dying for my parents to let me fly alone when I was 13 (and NOT as an unaccompanied minor). I was very independent and felt stifled by their babying me. They did not let me fly alone until 15 and I was SO ready for it. My point is that this depends on your kids. If your daughter has been flying alone for years, let her fly alone again. It’s good for kids to figure things out on their own, feel like a grown-up ordering a drink on the plane, etc.

    7. I’m not a parent so forgive me if I’m missing something here – but just tell them that they can do what they want for their kids but your kid is good with traveling alone so you’re not going to chip in or offer to be the parent to travel with them?

12. Meghan Markle looks great in suit pants. Long or slightly cropped, her pants always look great.

    I do not. Loft Julie pants make me look stumpy. BR Logan pants are the closest to good I’ve gotten to looking good, but I feel like something doesn’t look awesome enough. Other BR suiting pants cuts are a hot mess — too much junk in my trunk. I’ve tried sizing up and taking in the waist, but I just can’t get a look that is A+; it’s more of a B if you are grading on a generous curve.

    I think I look really good in dresses. What am I doing wrong? I’m 5-4, 125#, pear shape. BR pants size is a 6; jackets are 4 or 4P.

    1. I’m with you, I’m short with some junk in the trunk and it’s very rare that I find pants that look decent on me, and even then, I look a little pregnant*. Skirts and dresses are just easier for me and I’ve made peace with that. It’s summer, it’s too hot to wear pants outside anyway!

       That said, ankle pants from The Gap are pretty okay as far as pants go, although I found out the hard way after mindlessly pulling a loose thread that the hem falls apart easily, so . . . *shrug*

       *I’m working on it, but I’m really not looking for weight loss advice, and just had a really not-cool conversation where a total stranger told me I needed to focus on cutting calories, so please just don’t right now.

       1. Idk why you think any of us would tell you this.

    2. I’m pear shaped. Honestly, pants look best on me when they balance my proportions with a slightly flared cut and heels. Then my butt looks great and I feel secure. To wear my Julie Loft ankle pants, I need structure on top and careful arrangement of fabrics around my midsection or else I look dowdy….. Heels again are more flattering.

       But these days I’m wearing more beautiful flats with ankle pants and lots of columns of color to elongate, with an occasional beautiful belt.

    3. I don’t think it is possible to get an A+ look from gap, loft, etc at this point in time. for me, ankle pants work best, but i am very careful to find the right opening at the ankle–not too skinny, not too wide or flared. Vince and theory are two brands that work well for me. If you want an A+ look, i think you have to up your price point a bit. The fabric on pants from the loft just doesn’t seem to be substantial enough to work for me at this point.

    4. Pear here. I would go try a bunch of different brands and see which fits best. For me it’s some fits at BB, and Elie Tahari. They have more room in the hip and leg, and smaller waists. I still have to take the waists in, but not as much.

13. There has been mention here of a website or app that will help keep track of visits, bringing food, etc. for people who are sick at home. My DH was in a workplace accident over the weekend, and I may need to use that website to keep track of things. Can someone remind me of the name of it? Web search has not turned it up.

    1. My friends used take them a meal when I was on maternity leave.

    2. Meal train?

       1. +1 on Meal Train.

          They also have a donations section for friends who don’t want to cook and an updates section so you can keep others in the loop. If the requested delivery is before 6:30, I will send my meal via postmates.

    3. Sorry to hear about your husband. Wishes for a speedy recovery and peaceful transition during this time.

14. Just a vent. Infertility workups are simultaneously empowering (answers!) and disheartening (answers). Had a FemVue today (um, ow) and it turns out I have a fibroid pushing against my uterine wall and also a possibly blocked tube. I’m type A, so naturally, i was hoping for a perfect score (regardless of the fact that it is unlikely given that we had to seek help).

    My husband is being great – telling me to focus on the goal (twins! he is really hoping for twins). But man – some days, it just stinks.

    1. Sending good vibes your way!

    2. I found I had fibroids in early 2017. My due date is this August. Hang in there!

15. If roe v Wade is going away should I get a tubal ligation (or force my hubs to have a big V, ha) while I can? Midwestern red state. No idea if these are even controversial.

    1. I think tubal ligation is more controversial (at least for younger, childless women) but vasectomies aren’t and never will be. The pro-life movement is all about depriving women of choice, men are allowed to do whatever they’d like with their bodies. Have your husband get snipped. It’s a simpler, easier procedure with a much shorter recovery time.

16. I’m a gay woman with a wife and young child. I can say pretty darn confidently that a certain 2015 Supreme Court decision has greatly affected my daily life.

17. I can’t seem to reply to the question about how SCOTUS impacts people. Isn’t an extremely obvious example that impacted everyone: Bush v Gore

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