Thursday’s Workwear Report: Polka Dot Print Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Polka-dot prints can occasionally veer into the “twee” category, but I think the tiny dots on this Mango cardigan provide some visual interest without going too far. Pair it with a black-and-white outfit for a classic look or layer it over a bright sheath for a fun spring topper.
The cardigan is $59.99 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-2X.
P.S. Mango also has a similar crewneck sweater that goes up to size 3X.
Looking for something more structured? In 2025, some of our latest favorite lady jackets for work include sweater jackets from ba&sh, Boden, and J.Crew. (M.M.LaFleur just got some also!) On the budget side of things, check out Mango, Tuckernuck (XXS-XXL), and CeCe. If you prefer a lined, more Chanel-style jacket for work, do take a look at IRO and L'Agence; Mango, J.Crew Factory, and Madewell often have them at budget-friendly prices.
Sales of note for 4/21/25:
- Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
- Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
- Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
- The Fold – 25% off selected lines
- Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
- Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
- J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
- J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
- Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card
Turned 65, and just received an invitation to join a medical practice that is for women 65+ only. Very intrigued by the concept and wondering if anyone has experience with this type of practice, either themselves or with a parent. They take insurance, including Medicare, and promise longer appointments, focus on issues common to this age group t menopause, thyroid, osteoporosis, etc). Link is too long to insert here, but it’s called Herself Health, and is in the Twin Cities area. Thoughts?
I wouldn’t get care at a boutique, for-profit, primary-care only clinic when I have access to multiple world-class integrated health systems (which you do!) but if you value the longer appointments, go for it! The implied concern that primary care physicians at other groups can’t/won’t “focus” on issues relevant to older adults is not that salient. Managing menopause and osteoporosis is bread and butter primary care.
That’s not my experience at all. Osteoporosis, maybe. But very, very few primary care physicians know about or care about perimenopause or menopause.
+1 in another major city
I think there are also actual stats on this; menopause management (at least if it involves use of HRT) isn’t bread & butter yet.
That’s a good point. A lot of people may be looking at a cancer diagnosis or other serious condition as they age. I’d want to understand what the options are if you need serious, specialist care.
Perhaps you don’t realize you can halve the best of both worlds … a PCP that has time and interest in you, and when you need it, you go to the big academic hospital for your cancer care.
It is very difficult in our big academic hospitals to get a good PCP and you can’t get in to see them when you need them.
Not true. I’m a doctor, struggling in my area to find GYNs who are competent to manage perimenopause.
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Sounds awesome, I would absolutely do this. I go to something similar but slightly younger demographic and it’s fantastic primary care.
I would definitely do this.
+1
I almost did this now. The wait in our hospitals to see endocrinology to manage osteoporosis/penia is over ONE YEAR.
How good is your existing care? Mine was horrid and I switched to a concierge practice. Over a period of 6 months we have gotten through a bunch of targeted diagnostics based on family risk factors and now I know what to worry about. I also can get in more quickly when something pops up and was able to treat an infection much more quickly.
I don’t know about a focused practice like this, but I followed my internist into a concierge practice kicking and screaming because I think it is wrong to when I could not find another gp, and 3 years in, I am very glad I did. The personalized care is great, there’s a more holistic view of my health, and I still can access all of the world class specialists in my area, often more quickly through referral. I hate what the concierge system says about our health care system, but I am very happy with the care I receive.
I was under the impression that concierge doctors are not “in network,” and so anything they prescribe or refer is at “non-network” pricing. Doesn’t it make everything incredibly expensive?
They can refer to specialists and imaging facilities that are in-network. I have cancer and was considering joining my primary when she left for a concierge practice. The way it worked was a yearly out of pocket fee that included certain labwork that they could do onsite, thorough physical, and unlimited access. However, I also still would need to pay regular insurance to make sure I was covered for emergency and hospital care and all of the services my specialists provide. It was going to be really expensive. And while I valued my primary and believe my care overall would be better, I was a little hesitant about how coordination might work with the specialists. I have a hard enough time when I see a specialists affiliated with one health system in our area versus one who is affiliated with another (both covered by my insurer’s network). If the hub who is supposed to be connecting all of my spokes (how primary care functions) isn’t coordinated well, I worried it would be a lot of money while still having some gaps. I ultimately decided to just stick it out with my insurer’s network.
In general, you may pay more for membership, but often referrals and testing can all be done in network. And sometimes the membership fee actually includes some testing and many benefits.
The best primary care doctor I ever had left for concierge. If I could afford it (fearing job loss) and felt my records would be plugged into the system my specialists use, I would follow in a heartbeat.
Just fyi you can shorten links by deleting everything after the question mark.
I see some describing this as concierge, but I didn’t think concierge practices took insurance. I thought of them for the very rich (there was a great show years ago about a concierge doc who went around Long Island making house calls and bringing incredibly expensive medical equipment wherever he went – perhaps I should not form all of my impressions from TV shows). Would this be a concierge practice?
Often they call it “direct care” when it’s not a luxury thing.
Concierge as I use it means you are basically a country club member, paying the annual membership fee to be one of the concierge doctor’s patients. The number of patients is capped. Insurance is accepted and processed by the practice, and my doctor continues to be a “preferred provider” under my health insurance.
Yes, this. The way my doctor explained it is that the concierge fee basically covers the overhead so they can afford to operate without having to book a million insurance patients in order to make enough money to keep the doors open.
my former doctor’s practice went concierge — the doc I loved had left the practice so I was only seeing a NP they’d given me at the time, but i fully left the practice when they said it would be $2225 for the year.
it’s sad that doctors can’t make money anymore… the health care system is so broken.
Not all is the same. Direct pay is usually out of network and requires you to file all the claims and take financial responsibility for anything not covered.
My parent’s concierge PCP was his doctor for 20 years before he transitioned his practice. He took Medicare, but you still paid the yearly fee. The long visits, incredible access (same day appointments, can call for emergencies after hours… to his cell phone!) was a life saver. Literally.
I would 100% do that.
I have One Medical for my primary provider and my husband doesn’t. Even that $200 a year add on makes a huge difference in my level of care vs my husband’s experience in the general PPO plan.
Any sort of specialization is so helpful.
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Good morning to everyone except my MIL, who texted me this morning that thanks to Trump, we will all be getting American made cars for free! According to her, he’ll create a tax write off for purchasing domestic cars and the write off will be “so good” that it will be for the value of the whole car, thus making it free. I haven’t responded. The cult is really something.
People be really mad they missed out on that one Oprah show and making up theories for when they’ll get their free car.
Meanwhile, in my Canadian city, cars are selling out because we all know the tariff war is going to make cars super expensive for the next decade. Once manufacturers know they can get hirer prices for their cars, the prices are not going back down even after tariffs are pulled.
I am really bummed we didn’t pull the trigger on replacing my husband’s SUV early. I was gambling the tariffs wouldn’t hit Europe hard and had no idea we were going to be messing with the cross border vehicle builds on this continent. So I thought we would have options.
Maybe it’s only for Teslas
I remember when They hated EVs and loved national security
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills
Well, I would bet that I bunch of inner group MAGA have bought Tesla at the low prices lately, knowing that the tariffs would be structured to push car buyers towards Tesla once this plays out.
I remember Trump being very concerned about a shark and an electric boat.
I thought Teslur technology was woke.
For unrelated work reasons, I needed to rejoin X for a while to monitor a situation, and what an absolute dumpster fire. Apart from automatically serving me up posts from Elon, the cheeto, fox news, etc, the absolute glee people are taking in the misery of others is stomach churning. There are not enough terms to describe what is there: narcissism, gaslighting, hypocrisy of the highest order. I truly fear for my kids’ futures.
Yeah, I deleted my accounts after the election. I was trying to engage with facts before that, but could only take an hour at a time.
It’s so true. I can’t stand this response to mass federal layoffs of “Ha ha! It’s about time other people get to watch you feel the pain of losing your job!” I know not a person, on the left or right, who has gloated about any mass layoffs in the private sector, ever.
my husband’s car was rear ended and totaled on the beltway the other day, and I could not be more angry about the timing.
My SIL is in this cult too, and is delaying filing her taxes because she believes he will be offering major tax breaks and relief that reduce her taxes before they’re due this year. I hold no ill will towards her about this and I am curious where she gets her information from.
Well, he needs to get a move-on with these “tax breaks,” because we’ve got two and a half weeks until due date. Then again, the rate he’s churning through orders and firings and proclamations, maybe he *will* do something in time.
Oh goodness gracious, my mom would 100% call me with that kind of nonsense. They are currently on vacation thank goodness.
Hi folks! It’s time to buy new black work flats that are comfortable enough to walk in but appropriate for Big Law. My late 2010s shoes (primarily M Gemi) have done great duty, but are tired.
What shapes are in and appropriate? I like a point, but I feel like I’m seeing more round toes. Can’t do a mule or sling back.
I can spend up to $200 (maybe a little more) and am happy to stalk Poshmark for a good option.
I like my Sam Edelman loafers/flats. I wouldn’t wear them for commuting or anything though, just around the office.
agree. sam edelman is my go to for not expensive shoes that are actually still leather. I actually like dolce vita too which tend to be on trend but they are lower quality.
I love Sam Edelman but a recent pair scuffed if you looked at them. A bit of polish helped and I got them on sale, but I feel like the 2025 ones aren’t what they were in 2017.
Points with wide leg pants are such a classic pair. Stuart Weitzman runs periodic sales and they have beautiful pointed flats – you can find them in the $250-$300 range (not final sale) if you watch the cycle. To preserve their life I do keep them at the office and commute in Rothys.
Margaux has good options that are current.
Sarah Flint is over your budget, but if you find a deal on Poshmark, grab them!
I have square toe patent mary janes from Franco Sarto (bought on Zappos), and get endless compliments. They are extremely comfortable, and are wearing well despite being affordable. I’m sure they will be off-trend in a couple of years, but I’m loving them for this year.
I have some from Cole Haan that have served me well. Pointy toe.
I attend a ton of conferences. Best shoe ever is the Alameda style by Vionic. I got the leopard print and came back for beige and a rose pink suede. Fantastic arch support. Modern toe. I could walk in these just as comfortably as my street sneakers.
Well, my morning is off to a great start – I drank a latte at home and then discovered that the fridge has been hovering at 50° or so for God knows how long. Guess I’m throwing out all my pumped breastmilk and a prepared formula bottle, literally throwing money down the drain. I worked so hard to pump those ounces…
Oh no! I’m so sorry that you’re losing your stash. I had that happen with a power outage when my youngest was little.
That’s terrible! I’m so sorry
There’s something uniquely awful about having to dump pumped milk. I’m so sorry! Hope your day gets better.
Wooof. I’ve shed tears over less. I’m so sorry.
Oh damn, I’m so sorry.
I have about fifteen bags of pumped milk in my freezer from 2020 that I never used, thanks to the pandemic and working from home, and I can’t bear to throw them out because I look at them and see the HOURS of my life I spent pumping that milk. I know I should get over it, but… I’m irrationally emotionally invested.
Oh no! I used to dump spoiled or unfinished milk in my baby’s bath water, so I’d feel better about wasting it… which I think probably sounds bananas to anyone who hasn’t had to face throwing that stuff away. :)
Oof! That’s heartbreaking!
I think whoever came up with the phrase “to cry over spilled milk” was talking about pumped b-milk because I feel this so hard. FedEx once lost my overnight frozen package of pumped milk I had worked so hard on while traveling for work, and it arrived a week later all spoiled. I’m still not over it.
I’m in awe that you are together enough to write this coherently. I wept when I finally dumped my frozen pumped milk down the drain almost a year after my first baby was weaned. 25 years later I can still feel it in my gut. My brilliant physician sister called me distraught when her husband left the freezer door open inadvertently and thawed a bunch that she had pumped. So, we see you! Can I also say, way to go for pumping in the first place – not everyone can, but even for those of us who are able it’s an exhausting undertaking, coming from a place of so much love.
having a problem with clothes. while i am not skinny by any means i am a narrow person with very small shoulders. I am finding this seasons oversized silhouettes to look ridiculous on me. I recognize that i can just ignore current trends but anyone have an idea to finesse the issue? my mother (who i am built like and was my age in the oversized 80s) is suggesting shoulder pads that i snap onto my bra?
Same here with the narrow shoulders. I don’t think there’s a good way to look at this online, but I’ve been trying to find tops that are only slightly oversized rather than downright oversized and sloppy. Or you could try sizing down in the oversized tops and see if that works better in the shoulders.
But mostly, I’m ignoring the oversized look. It looks adorable on others, but trust, it is NOT CUTE on me. I just need a little more structure to not look like a box.
If you add giant shoulder pads, you will still look like a little kid playing dress-up in the attic with grandpa’s old suits. As a fellow small person, I have been approximating the current silhouette by wearing longer blazers with larger lapels that still fit across the shoulders and are tapered at the waist. I like the L’Agence Chamberlain and the Cinq a Sept Khloe. Bracelet-length sleeves and pants cropped to the ankle bone will help too.
I am 5’2 and built sort of squarish already. I also can’t do a lot of the silhouettes out there right now. I can participate a bit if I pick one at a time- puff shoulder, shoulder pads, OR wide leg trousers but everything still has to be fairly tailored. I bought one blazer with broader shoulders to wear with dresses.
A shoulder pad adds a lot actually. It doesn’t need to be 80s style. Look at Trinny Woodall’s IG. You often see her wearing a cap sleeved camisole type thing with small shoulder pads. She’s narrow and I do think it makes her clothing look sharper.
If the man you’re dating gifts you a piece of jewelry, is it weird to wear it every day, esp if you see him every day? Assume it matches everything.
No
It implies you both like jewelry and that you value the relationship as an “every day” thing
If either of these are not true, it’s probably a good idea to stop wearing it every day around him
But it’s not weird by any means
Both of those are 100% true :) Thanks!
My now-husband gave me a pair of earrings when we were dating and I’ve worn them every day for the past 24 years, so my vote is no.
That is so sweet!!
I don’t think it’s weird, but I don’t really switch up my jewelry much. I have a small pendant that basically never leaves my neck, and when DH and I were dating I wore the bracelet he gave me until it broke several months later.
I can’t think of a greater compliment to the gift-giver. I’m sure he’s thrilled. Enjoy, and good luck!
I just moved to the SEUS. I feel like I know about 10 local couples the Ratcliffe on White Lotus could be modeled on. No doubt people like this were in my old city, but it was bigger and a worker bee like me was not likely to cross paths. In a smaller city in a closer-in area, OMG. Piper, NO!
I think more folks in the South East wear their eccentricities on their sleeves.
The sleeves of their glorious caftans. “Jim Thompson” is a brand I’m not familiar with. Is it like Tommy Bahama but Thai? Anyway, the interwebs have many of Victoria Ratliff’s dresses and caftans as being from there. The one I love (green / white, ruffled sleeves) is thankfully sold out, but I’d be tempted.
Jim Thompson is an old-school high-end silk company from Thailand with an interesting history (look it up!). They offer a bunch of exquisite silk scarves, plus other attire and accessories. They also offer upholstery and window treatment textiles, not necessarily in silk. They are a good-quality company, but you do need to sift through their offerings to find what might appeal to you.
I went to college in the South (not Duke or UNC, but similar) but came from the Midwest. A lot of the kids from the South/Texas seemed to come from similar families, and then there were a lot from the Northeast/New Jersey from a different type of money, and then the rest of us who were bemused by the southern-ness of it all. And if you don’t come from that type of wealth, the professional culture still tries to align with the same signifiers.
The wealthy guy dress code (Shane in S1 and Saxon/Tim in S3) is so spot on for the preppy vibe, and always funny to see very old, Southern politicians with the same hair cut. If anything, Victoria is a little looser to the stereotype with her caftans.
Ehhh– I think the caftans are true to form for this type of person. She has a “vacation” wardrobe of entirely caftans. The key is that she is going on vacation in tropical places often enough that she has a “resort” wardrobe.
I live in a Southern city in a suburb adjacent to a very wealthy, old-money one, and I also do see women wearing caftan-esque clothes sometimes. The norm for this class of woman is to still look polished and professional because most of them volunteer for non-profits or kids schools even if they are not working for pay. Or they’re in tennis clothes all the time. However, there is a subset that seems to… not do that, and wear caftans all time, and I always wonder what they do all day.
I hate my husband. That is all.
Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a today thing? Like, “UGH, he did X again” or is this an ongoing thing? In either case, the feeling is terrible, and I’m sorry you’re feeling it.
I’m sorry and I’m sending a hug your way.
Anything you want to vent about?
Then divorce him.
Same, I divorced him.
I feel you. I almost ended my marriage last week over a dead lightbulb that went unchanged for 1.5 years. I finally changed it and was so irrationally angry about it for days. Happy to report, I got over it.
Over a period of several years I was often irrationally furious with DH, and honestly I wasn’t sure my marriage would survive. Then I finished up menopause, and all was much better. Glad we made it through that!
I’m the anon lightbulb poster and I just realized this is what’s happening to me! Like a lightbulb just went off, pun intended!
That’s sort of why I posted! I honestly didn’t know that my general anger might be related to hormonal change – this was ten years ago, when everybody had stopped taking HRT so everybody just pretended nothing was happening.
I’m so sorry.
Any restaurant recs in Rome or Florence? Not looking for anything fancy, just a not too horribly touristy spot to have a tasty meal after sightseeing.
And I guess I should also ask for recs in La Spezia, though I know that’s more of a long shot!
We stayed in the Testaccio neighborhood and found the food around there to be great low-key local. It’s about a half hour walk from “tourist central” Rome or you can take the metro.
Not a recent trip but years ago had a great pasta meal at restaurant called Three Puppets that was walking distance to St. Peter’s in Rome. It was a bit off the beaten path so my friend and I were the only non-Italians as far as I could tell. Translate the name and google it and you might find it. Might be touristy now but it was great then.
We loved Antico Ristorante, which is supposedly the oldest restaurant in Florence. Amazing bistecca alla fiorentina.
Rome: Osteria 44, Ristorante Sofia
Florence: Osteria Pastella (the cheesewheel place), Osteria del Borgo
Yelp is used in Italy (though not as much as in the US) and I’ve found it to have good recs for the most part.
I had a lovely birthday meal a few weeks ago at La Buchetta in Florence (from, of all places, reddit, but they were right this time).
Thanks all!
Has anyone lived in The Villages (or had parents move)? I have gone from perimenopause to menopause to realizing that maybe I need to look into what the rest of my life might look like (and I’m in striking distance of being able to be in a “55 or better” community). Who really moves here? People who can retire at 50 due to pensions + retiree medical plans? I thought I’d work until 67 or 70 (medicare starts at 65; max SS would hit if I don’t take it until 70; the wild card is that my spouse is 5 years older and would likely retire ASAP). I don’t feel that I need to retire that soon, but it may start to feel weird if he is retired and I work 10 years beyond that.
I don’t think we are typical Villages people (live in a city, no Florida family, still have one parent on each side alive in the greater SEUS), but does anyone when they are younger?
Currently, we agree that we will move to a flat if we are still in our 2-story house when I hit 80 or one of us becomes sick / infirm prior to that, but who knows — that’s a ways off (but where we saw our parents start to have Concerns).
I have relatives that live there. It’s a whole personality. If you’re already skeptical just thinking about it, go for a smaller-tamer 55+ community. There are millions of them.
I’m life-long single without kids and know that my plan is to enjoy my later years in a continuing care community. I’m looking local, near a college town, and not The Villages, but the idea is the same: healthcare, community, and continuity. Your last paragraph is an important issue. The most common regret about these places is that “if you’re ready, it’s too late”. Many places have financial and health requirements that are strict and if you finally think you need care, you don’t look like a good candidate from the business perspective. Also, I want to be able to make friends and really enjoy the new people. That’s why I’d plan to move earlier than 80, more like 65ish.
Co-sign, if you’re ready, it’s too late. I had to move my dad out of a 2-story remote house suddenly and it was a hot mess of if he went to 55+ or assisted living. The lines are blurry when you are lucid and healthy (but can’t cook and don’t drive). I think women can fare better for longer solo if they can still cook and get groceries. At least for people from prior generations who are elderly now. More modern men may fare better in the kitchen.
Oh yeah, this is the issue we had with our dad. Boomer guy, our mom passed, and while he’s fully lucid, and can mostly do for himself, he has limited vision and has never had to cook or clean or do laundry. My sister moved him to an apartment near her where she can bring him food because she thought paying $5k a month for assisted living was ridiculous if he could have an apartment and order door dash every day for cheaper. (Except he doesn’t, she brings him food, but that’s a whole thing)
Do we have the same sister? She thought 100% Door Dash was appropriate for an old man with kidney disease, which a simple Google search shows that salt worsens. Constant contact with strangers + bad food + he still doesn’t drive or do much with laundry or clean. In her city, it would still be neglectful. He is assisted living in my city for now.
No, definitely not the same sister because mine ended up bringing him food daily! (I live far away and feel v guilty about how much work she does for him) And because we both gave up and figured he’s 85, if he wants to eat ice cream for breakfast and cookies for dinner, who are we to stop him? Sure, the diabetes may get him but something has to, at this point…
I know you didn’t ask for advice, but has she looked into an actual meal service? In my bigger city, I used a small, local one when my husband had pneumonia for a month and I had a baby. It was pretty good, similar/cheaper price to eating out, and offered healthier options. They would do a weekly drop off and I’d just microwave the food as needed.
Are there any retirement consultants or places like Suburban Jungle for future retirees? Genuinely asking, I dont know, but we’re hoping to move once my mom passes (hopefully not anytime soon) also.
When money is no problem, do people move? I feel like Gene Hackman (RIP), Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, etc. are reportedly still not living in such places. I assume that they have staff to help for everything and can easily have a stately home with the main bedroom on the first floor and groceries or meals brought in. The whole cooking thing (Livia Soprano) can be problematic, as can any minor illness if you don’t have people in and out regularly.
In a family where people routinely live to be quite old, only one member of my family has ever needed to move out of their house due to infirmity for more than a few months. And the one who moved had Alzheimers so needed memory care. I did have a grandmother who would have been happier some place like that, but that was because she was lonely and lived in the middle of nowhere rather than she could not take care of herself with minimal help. She did move into an assisted living facility at 96 and admitted we had been right that she would have liked to have been there sooner, but then she died three months later when she caught a cold so who knows.
That said, my Southern California city has a number of over 55 communities with varying degrees of assistance available and I have a former neighbor who moved to one after her husband died and she loves it. From what she says, I think it is really important to carefully vet the place you are going because they can be really different.
They do not. Can vouch for this having just gone through this with my grandmother and am about to with my parents. Grandmother absolutely refused to move to anything type of care community of any sort. The burn rate on 24/7 care in her last 2 years was $200,000 just for rotating support workers who helped with daily necessities and meals. It was not easy by any means though.
Well in fairness, the cost for assisted living is about the same so while it may have been harder to arrange care, it did not cost more.
My grandparents never had full-time staff in their regular lives (frugal af), but when they were older they had enough money to have in-home help. My grandpa did in-home hospice at the end of his life, although thankfully that period was fairly brief and not precipitated by serious health issues requiring frequent nursing care. My grandma now is still able to live independently with frequent visits from family and a rotating cast of people who do household tasks. They usually visit 4x/week or so for 4-6 hours depending on what needs doing. She’s been using this company for years and has become close with some of the employees. She’s even had them go on vacation with her overseas. She’s still very with it, mentally, and capable of managing finances, coordinating her own care, etc. I don’t see her ever moving out of the house unless she needs medical care that can’t be provided at home.
some people do move to actively choose the way retirement income is taxed, estate taxes, and more. i know a lot of very wealthy people who’ve moved to FL, Nevada, and Arizona. PA might be good enough for my purposes, we’ll see. (We’ve got way too much in retirement thanks to a weird defined benefit plan.)
The Villages has the highest STI rate in the state of FL. Retailers have a hard time keeping people because the customers behave badly (I want to speak to the manager, on steroids). It’s suburban sprawl to the nth degree.
The Villages is the last place I’d move (lived in FL for >20 years and am very acquainted with the place).
Go to youtube and search “the villages.” There are a couple of people I follow lightly who document their Villages journey and break down costs, types of living, drama, etc. It has convinced me I would never, ever live there, but watch for a while and judge for yourself.
Yes! Look for the Newcomers” Jerry and Linda.
On youtube
Are we just supposed to know what that is?
Yes. Or use Google.
The Villages is hardly obscure but not hard to search…
Honestly? Unless you do not live in the USA, then yes.
Huh, I’m from California and have never heard of this place.
Yeah – I’ve only heard of this place mentioned on this forum. I’ve just assumed it’s something that people in a certain region or social group would know about. But, I don’t follow pop culture, so maybe it’s a meme of some kind. And . . . my parents go to Florida every year, and rent a condo and hang out with all the retirees, so it’s not like I’ve not heard of retirees in Florida!
I’m guessing leisureworld but for east coasters?
Yeah.
You don’t mention family. I’m guessing that’s not a concern for you? My grandparents moved to Florida and got a pool in the backyard thinking everybody would come vacation with them. Realistically, working parents with school-aged kids couldn’t come too often and G&G were terribly lonely. They missed out on recitals and all that. They really wished they had stayed near family. So I’d say only do a destination retirement if you’ve thought through family relationships.
Have you considered Sun City Georgetown, rather than the Villages? It’s an active community with the usual amenities but more a country club level of participation. Plus, you are still close to Austin, near a large town (Georgetown) and can still live within the regular world (as opposed to the villages).
Interesting. Our family friends, a retired couple in their 60s just moved there and seem to be enjoying it as their home base for RV life.
My Aunt and Uncle, who are republicans from the SEUS, just went to visit their friends at the villages. They loved the idea of living in a dynamic environment, how active everyone was, but honestly could not get past the unhinged MAGA people. They said parts of the visit were like living in a trump rally.
They were actually really bummed because if not for the overwhelming MAGA vibe they absolutely would have moved there.
Similar to this, i read a NYT magazine article from 2018 on margaritaville retirement villages which i see the appeal of now that I am approaching my 50s.
It seems to be similar to like a big10/SEC college experience but for seniors.
I get why people would want to age in a vibrant community.
My parents lived in a community similar to The Villages, but in So Cal, and they loved it. I think they moved there in about their early 70s. (My grandma had lived there in her 60s-70s before that, then the unit was a rental for a while.) There were a ton of activities and it was basically like living on a cruise ship but on dry land. It was a sad day when they had a health crisis in their mid-80s and had to move to assisted living.
In their case, the reason they couldn’t stay after their health started to fail was that they had purchased (decades before) a 1-bed, 1-bath unit and there was no room for a caregiver. So my advice is to plan ahead and get at least a 2 bed unit so you will have space for a caregiver if necessary.
Where specifically? My parents are in SoCal and I want to pitch this, not the stupid place across the country they’re thinking of moving because it’s cheaper….
My mother moved to an Overture 55+ apartment complex in the Orlando area, and I love it. Great community of seniors, but still in a normal neighborhood.
My parents lived in The Villages for a number of years and loved it until 2020, where I also got stuck with them for 10 weeks, so I am also intimately familiar with The Villages. They left in 2021 due to the MAGA stuff and how the community handled Covid (and to be closer to me), but I have a lot of input and happy to give much more detail if you want to post a burner.
Essentially The Villages have different types of communities – there are higher end ones with larger homes (where my parents lived) where you typically have a married couple or more normal people and it’s a totally lovely and normal community. They loved the town squares and pickleball and all of the activities and struggled to find that again once they left The Villages. Some of their neighbors continued to work and a few were on the younger end – they had some neighbors in their 50s and 60s (mine were in their 70s). On the other hand, you have the more inexpensive, smaller homes that tend to be where the single folks live, and those communities are much more of the party vibe – STDs are rampant (Google “Villages loofah colors”), and the parties are eyebrow-raising. My parents say they never even met these people since all of their community centers and pools and amenities were in their own “village”. Overall they were very happy there…until they weren’t.
They’ve since moved closer to me and moved into an independent living facility in condos where they have 8 restaurants and amenities, though the people are a lot older than The Villages and it definitely feels closer to a typical retirement home than the thriving, lively atmosphere of The Villages.
So to answer your question, you can absolutely move there younger and continue working. The neighborhood you pick will be really important and, unless you want the party vibe, you might want to focus on neighborhoods that are a little newer, more expensive, and more geared to couples.
One of my husband’s coworkers moved into a 55 plus community and kept working. You don’t have to be retired. He made a bunch of new friends, partied a lot, and played pickle ball all the time.
I think he kept working because he enjoyed the lunch group at work, to be honest, but also having employer provided healthcare until Medicare kicks in at 65 is huge.
If money were no object, what would you pick as your everyday bag? I’m doing the practical, no buy thing at the moment, so I want to dream a little.
Well, if you want to shop, you can get real real style authenticated bags on eBay at steep discounts. I love Prada for everyday.
Unless I’m literally just going out to dinner/a party I still need a pretty good sized bag for ‘everyday’. My current workhorse bag is a large Hemes Evelyne I bought a decade ago that is still going strong.
The Veronica Beard Dash bag is also really cute – I picked up a brown suede version that works well when I need something bigger than a clutch but smaller than a crossbody.
The Celine medium 16 soft bag in tan.
(My actual everyday bag is the Cuyana 13 inch system tote in caramel for about $3000 less!)
I’m drooling over the Metier roma shoulder bag in green suede or the parallel bag in red leather!
how often do you use retinol/trentinoin? i only use it 1-2x a week and feel like i should be using it more. it’s the “wait 30 minutes after washing your face” that throws me off track.
The advice really just means that your face needs to be bone dry to prevent it from migrating, not that you need to wait 30 minutes exactly. I’ve gotten irritation from retinoid migrating to my eyes/neck so I agree with the advice in general but 10 minutes should be more than enough.
Fwiw I use differin every night, plus a copper peptide serum then moisturizer and a night cream. Vitamin C in the AM before sunblock.
I use it every day, right after washing my face and drying thoroughly. I use the cream formulation and have never had any problem with migration or irritation; I did with the gel, and I also know some people who have had the opposite experience, so I think the different forms work better for different people.
For those who’ve used retinol or AHAs, how much of a problem was the increased sun sensitivity. Did you get new sun spots?
I’ve used both, and it hasn’t been a problem, but I’m absolutely religious about sunscreen.
You do have to be religious about sunscreen and I recommend using a hat as well.
4-5 days a week. I’m on the lowest dose so I can do more frequent applications.
I use it every day without waiting and have no problem. But everyone is different and it’s sensible to build up slowly. In addition to migration, which I hadn’t heard of, waiting until your face is completely dry is to reduce the possibility of it causing flaking or dryness i.e., working too effectively. When your face is still a little wet, the skin and absorbs more, which is counterintuitive – you might think that it dilutes the effectiveness, but it doesn’t.
I haven’t gotten the “wait 30 minutes” advice since the “micro” formulation came out a number of years ago.
I do not want to be on the front lines of a culture war. I’m a parent who sometimes chaperones and drives teens in a club that is co-ed but for over night stays, girls bunk with girls , etc. Think: chess club, not tied to a school. New member’s parent did the signup and talked to me (and has provided no medical forms yet) for an upcoming trip. Did not mention that the kid is not a biological girl (another parent called me up in a panic — they have known these people from their neighborhood prior to kid’s change). I am livid. It’s not fair to hide things from adults and from other families who send their kid with certain presumptions about who bunks with whom. Some are from faith backgrounds where this would be very problematic. It’s not my news to share (I don’t think the parent who called me is lying) and I don’t want any part of this. I’m considering feeling sick and not going but ugh. WWYD? I feel like this could boil over on the trip because the kid of the parent likely knows and it’s the nature of kids to talk and also react with candor.
Is it “here is a girls cabin and here is a boys” or more “we have x number of hotel rooms, and assign them roommates based on gender”? The latter would be easier—you can talk to the parents and explain that another kid knew their kid back when, and ask if their kid is out to anyone else, warn them the other kid probably will tell everyone, and ask the kid if there’s particular girls who would be ok sharing knowing they’re trans. If it’s one big room of girls vs one big room of boys a bit harder.
Honestly? If the kid can pass let it be. Room sharing issues can occur with same-gender folks just as well. (I’ve been involved in a fair amount of youth camps and the hazing I have seen at both all-girl and all-boy camps is Not Great) I am far more conservative than most in regards to LGBT issues, but I land firmly on the side of “if everyone’s privacy is respected other people can do what they want.”
IDK — some orgs have rules on this or parental and kid expectations. I feel that if some groups have a culture or regions based reason, you can’t just know what you know and let them continue with the assumption they are OK. You wouldn’t put pork or beef in someone’s stew.
I worry about the “culture” argument. It’s very similar to the ones used to rationalize segregation. Someone existing around you isn’t infringing on your rights.
I hear what you’re saying, but this is not exactly the same…
This kid’s being part of a coed group is not at all the same as this kid’s rooming with a girl. This all-or-nothing reasoning, total lack of nuance, and lack of respect for women and girls is why the Democrats lost the election.
You’re assuming that privacy would be respected. That might be true; it might not.
You need to let the club decide how to handle it and what the protocols are.
That said, “panic” seems like a strong reaction – it’s not like this poor tr@ns girl who probably just wants to participate in something fun with her peers is going to attack the other girls.
+1. OP, what are you concerned will happen?
That was my question: What are you afraid of, OP? I feel like the odds are almost 100% that if something bad happens, the trans kid is going to be the victim, not the perpetrator.
yup
Agree. There is something about the way the question is worded that makes me feel really sad for this kid. Be specific, here. What do you really think is going to happen here?
If it’s a shared changing area situation, which isn’t clear from the post, then girls will be exposed to male genitalia without their consent. We used to call this a rights violation; now we call it inclusion.
+1
There is a reason we have had single-sex restrooms, dorm rooms, and bunk houses.
Have you ever met a trans kid? I promise you, they’re not exposing their genitalia to anyone, especially in a shared changing area.
Oh come on, you can miss me with the dramatic sounding thought-terminating clichés you picked up from conservative media.
I just find this line of thinking to be very detached from reality. It’s almost like you all are imagining a grown man deliberately showing his junk to scared little girls. Are you unable to imagine a “shared changing area situation” where people are not exposed to genitalia? I don’t recall ever feeling like I was “exposed to genitalia” in “shared changing area situations.” People just change behind towels, in shower stalls, in bathroom stalls. I really cannot recall an environment where kids were expected to just get naked with no way to cover up their bodies. Doesn’t it seem equally plausible that this kid would take steps to ensure their own privacy? Or are you just assuming that this kid will make an effort to ensure that everyone sees their private parts?
You can try to gaslight victims all you want, but every year, there are hundreds of thousands of cases of voyeurism and other sexual offenses. Predators can and do seek areas of easy opportunity, like bathrooms, but when they can’t gain access (such as when social norms mean that a man in the women’s room will immediately cause alarm), then they will go to great lengths to offend. Men have become preschool teachers, priests, and coaches in order to commit offenses. Many started offending at young ages.
anon at 2:08 pm, who gets to decide when a young woman sees fully formed adult male genitalia: you, the owner of said male genitalia, or her?
Hint: it’s not you and it’s not the person in possession of said genitalia.
Believe it or not, I don’t want to be exposed to ANYBODY’S genitalia and do not consent to this, but I also can’t think of when it’s ever come up. Certainly just when changing clothes. You’re imagining something really bizarre.
Left out a “not.” Where are the social norms such that anyone is just hanging it all out while changing clothes?
As for predators who go to great lengths, I wonder why you’re more worried about this one teen joining a trip with their peers than about any of the adults chaperoning the trip, who have all had far more time to devote to any nefarious plans.
No one is gaslighting victims. Don’t be dishonest.
We are talking about a child. Unless you are claiming that there are hundreds of thousands of cases of voyeurism/sexual offenses committed by children, it’s not relevant. Don’t deflect.
We are not talking about a man gaining access to a woman’s space. Don’t deflect, don’t be dishonest.
Sounds like you’re mostly concerned about crimes perpetrated by MEN, so perhaps you should direct your ire at them. I’d love to see conservatives’ newly found fervor and passion for preventing sexual violence against women and girls–which I’m sure is completely genuine and absolutely the motivator behind anti-tr*ns sentiment–directed at the group primarily responsible for such assaults.
Kids are much more chill about it than adults. Did the child in question join because of a friend already in the club? If those friends want to room together, problem solved.
No specific advice, but +1 to the kids are much more chill about this. My husband coaches my daughter’s middle school rec soccer team. He was commenting that at one of the first practices one asked the question “anyone have a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Like it was NBD. And we’re in the SEUS, so not super progressive usually.
If the kids know each other, surely they all know already.
IDK
Our area has a ton of charter schools and home schoolers and is a decent sized city. I would assume that a newcomer to you might choose an org where there are no prior ties just for a fresh start. So I wouldn’t assume that it’s known if a parent who isn’t that kids parent reached out. If the parent reached out, then maybe it is know or at least not deliberately hidden.
You’re correct. It’s not fair to hide it and girls have the right to undress and sleep in same-sex rooms when on organized trips. This issue is happening all over the country in various school systems and clubs and there are a number of lawsuits underway as a result. It boggles the mind how much the left has fought against the concept of safeguarding.
The anon who has been involved in youth camps here. In my experience, people think that segregating by gender does a lot to safeguard against bullying, SA, whatever, and it doesn’t. Kids that want to victimize other kids are going to find ways to do it, and gender is the least of their concerns. We should give appropriate space so that kids never have to undress in front of each other, even if they are the same gender. As for sleeping, kids care far more about whether their roommate snores than what’s in their pants.
+1. If there’s a separate changing area, I fail to see what the big deal is. That makes EVERYONE more comfortable.
Safeguarding is an interesting choice of words. How would you suggest groups handle this if a child identifies as gay or lesbian? Would you put him or her in a same-gender cabin? Sexuality can be an issue for some parents, too.
I really don’t know what the answer should be, here, but I don’t love the idea of excluding a trans girl just because.
Your org needs a policy/protocol. My kids’ summer sleepaway camp has “boys camp” and “girls camp” and they have formal protocols in place. It’s very inclusive; kids bunk with the gender with which they identify, but it’s also very clear on their website.
My unsolicited opinion is there is a whole bit of mountain making of mole hills here. Do the kids bunk in one big room together? If not, let them pick roomies and it will sort itself out. Have an option for a solo room if needed.
What is the concern here? That the girl who was born with a p3nis is faking it and joining chess club to r@pe someone else’s daughter during the overnight? Would you also feel it necessary to disclose if the kids are gay? If not, what happens if you have two gay dudes together- OMG the s3x!
I know one org my kids are in prohibits kids from bunking together if they are in a relationship or if there is an age difference of > 2 years (ideally keeping size / relative power in check). Nothing is prefect. But no one wants to have kids in solo accommodations (outside of hammock camping), since that can introduce other risks and vulnerabilities.
That said, if adult volunteers are uncomfortable for any reason, they will just stop volunteering, so kids will suffer. A policy and some candor would go along way to help this, but that shouldn’t be on one parent to figure out on the fly.
My teen is in a structured org that puts kids in hotels or home stays. A question on the registration form, for teen and for the teen’s parent / guardian, so 2 questions, was:
1. For teen: I am ok sharing a room with a transgender peer yes / no
2. For adult: I am ok if my child shares a room with a transgender peer yes / no
I remember going on a trip like this in HS and we thought it was hysterical that they had such strict rules about boys and girls in each others room that my BF and I could not even visit but our club president (girl) and her girlfriend (girl) got to share a bed.
On my high school trips they would put four kids in a room with two beds and I hated it so much that I would sleep on the floor.
Heck, my law firm refused my request to room with a gay male colleague at a retreat. Instead they stuck me, as an associate, with a relatively new partner from another office, who I had never even heard of, as a way of introducing us so we could hopefully start working together. (It turned out fine, she was great, but I initially panicked.) And they had my counterpart in a room with our friend who turned out to be a closeted gay man.
Shudder. If the firm can’t afford to give everyone their own room, the firm can’t afford the retreat.
What accents do you find attractive? Do you find any regional/local American accent to be attractive?
I was just listening to a radio program with a speaker from Scotland and just kept thinking, “Keep talking!” 😂 I looked him up and, well, we’ll just say no 🫣 But that accent paired with somebody attractive would do me in! You?
I mean, the Colin story line from Love Actually is this in a nutshell, and although some of the story lines have not aged well, that one… has some truth to it lol
Scottish and Boston for me (I don’t know what it is about the Boston accent, maybe I’ve watched The Departed too many times).
Interested ng. Those two accents are particularly unattractive to me. I like English and Italian and New Zealand accents.
My mom (and her whole family) is from Boston, as is my DH and all my ILs. Hard pass on the Southie Boston accent.
A few dropped Rs here or there don’t bother me, but luckily my husband seems to have escaped most of it since he grew up in the suburbs (my mom and MIL grew up in Boston proper).
Scottish is dreamy, though. I sometimes seek it out for ASMR.
i despise strong southern accents. i realize this is a horrible stereotype, but they just sound extremely uneducated to me.
But a soft Southern accent? Super hot to this Midwesterner.
I had a law professor from a very privileged Charleston family, and as far as I am concerned that man could have stood at the podium and read the phone book and I would have been entranced. I have a less lovely southern accent. I think it’s ridiculous to lump them all together.
Australian. This question can lead into very classist territory, though. I have a family member who was asked “you’re from Boston? You don’t have a Boston accent” and she said “thank you!” completely sincerely. I love her, but she’s a total snob.
Baahaa… they filmed a Hallmark romance in my small Scottish town, and you’d be hard pressed to find a good-looking, gainfully employed, and sober man… I love a Welsh accent. I’ve got an academic colleague from deep in Wales, and we all used to gather round when he was visiting and just listen.
I don’t think there is a specific accent that I love across the board; it has more to do with the voice and enunciation. That said, Matt Damon’s accent in Good Will Hunting lives in my dreams.
One of my main contacts for my firm’s external filing vendor has an absolutely velvety voice. He is lovely to speak with, if very distracting. We have screen-sharing calls regularly but are not allowed to have cameras on, so I made the mistake of looking him up on LinkedIn one day. Ladies, don’t do that to yourselves. Let the dream live.
Ohhh I dated a guy who had the best phone voice. This was before Skype was common (I am old) and we were semi long distance (other ends of the state) so we talked on the phone all the time. I really think that was 50% of the attraction. But I wouldn’t really call it an accent, more of a timbre.
I can think of regional American accents that I find extremely unattractive (not going to say which because I will certainly offend someone) but I can’t think of any that I’d find particularly attractive.
Generally I find a French accent very sexy, but as a result of that I’ve dated several French guys, and that was 100% a mistake. I will say that in my personal experience, dating a French man is not for an American feminist.
Australian, Irish, Scotch, Polish, any romance language, German but that always comes with a bit of terror in case they ask me to speak it. I find Southern accents attractive, but not on straight guys (because I assume our politics will not be aligned). While I want to like most British accents, my PITA FIL is English so I do not find most of those accents very attractive.
I’m looking at fashion/casual sneakers and most of the options seem to have white or very light colored soles. How do you keep the soles from looking scuffed/dirty on the sides? Or are these shoes meant to never touch pavement?
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
I use Magic Erasers on mine.
I have nice white sneakers for work (casual office) and they never go outside – I commute in different shoes.
I don’t mean this as judgment or shade OR, but it’s really pretty funny that sneakers have become a “keep in the office” shoe.
I have different sneakers for commuting! I keep my nice low top white leather ones just for the office.
I agree. I think the bright white abnormally clean sneaker as a work shoe is very amusing to me.
But the $500 Italian sneakers sold dirty is even more amusing.
look for a gum sole
My white sneakers are leather which stays relatively clean (way better than fabric). Use a magic eraser for the edges of the side as needed.
I commute in NYC and while my white sneakers are far from sterile they are not particularly dirty.
My parents lived there until they had to move to stepped up care closer to my sibling.
My parents were the perfect candidates for living there for a brief time, so I’ll describe them. If this doesn’t fit you, it might not be the right fit.
They are/were Sports people to the absolute highest degree. Not like, “oh, let’s play pickleball with the bridge club every other Tuesday!” but serious sporty people – my dad medaled in the senior pickleball National Championships like five years in a row, and my mom is a serious golfer who won a bunch of tournaments in Florida. They loved that they could play their sport, every single day, with lots and lots of people. No where else they’ve lived before or since had access to more facilities AND ready, willing, and able partners around their age/abilities to play with.
Also, they are from the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio, and I feel like half of their suburban city moved to the Villages for at least part of the year. So in addition to having lots of sporty people they met, they had a built in community of friends who stayed there every year. They were honestly so busy between friends and activities when they were at the Villages that I felt like it was almost hard to get them on the phone.
My kids loved visiting them there. They had a pool, we drove a golf cart to dinner, and then we sat outside, drinking bad margaritas, and listening to yacht rock bands play while the kids ran around. We also did day trips to Disney (using their Florida residency to buy cheap tickets).
The bad is that by the end, the summers were so hot, they got a lot more limited in what they could do outside.
They are politically liberal, and again, by the end, the MAGA presence was overwhelming and stifling.
I think as they got more physically limited, they got bored with the weather, the activities, and the hegemony of the politics. That said, it was a great spot for them for about 10 years, and I think they overlooked a lot of the negative during that time because they were able to be SO active, at such a high level for a long time. I can also say that it kept them young and healthy for longer than they would have been had they stayed in Columbus.
What would you do if a new member of senior leadership showed up to a daytime external stakeholders meeting late and smelling like marijuana? This is my boss’ boss. It’s legal in our state. I haven’t mentioned it to my supervisor, but I’m concerned for a variety of reasons. My boss wasn’t in the meeting.
Nothing. If it was a subordinate, different, but a superior, nothing.
+ 1. Laugh, roll my eyes, but let it go.
Nothing unless you’re the CEO or CHRO.
Absolutely nothing. I would keep my mouth shut, my head down, and mind my own business. (Assuming you are not in a field like medicine where someone being impaired could be life-threatening.)
There is no upside for you in bringing this up and considerable downside.
Agreed.
If he’s recently accidentally texted classified war plans to a journalist on Signal, maybe run it up the flagpole
but o/w nothing
lol
They were “attack plans.” No war plans were shared!!! /s
it’s not a war because Congress hasn’t declared it unless we need those emergency powers
Nothing. Not your place at all, unless he’s performing surgery or something.
I live in the Denver/Boulder area where it’s inescapable so I’d privately eyeroll but do my best to assume the two things (lateness/smell of weed) are unrelated unless I’m seeing genuine signs of intoxication.
Shareholders meeting…it’s not the most savvy move in the world but I think unless he’s absolutely *reeking* I think it’s a “let it go” zone.
Senior Leader could have taken public transpo (albeit this is unlikely) where *everyone* reeks of weed and people even vape or smoke openly on occasion or been standing near someone on the street who was smoking.
I work in the insurance industry and have done so for ages. I cannot tell you the number of very senior people I worked under who showed up after a late lunch smelling of booze and cigarettes.
So the weed thing is just, different time, same thing. I don’t think weed in particular is an extra special problem compared to alcohol – probably less so.
That said, there is nothing you can do about your boss’s boss.
Looking for somewhere that’s not Target or Amazon to buy household essentials — not nice-to-haves, but things like diapers and eye drops and other consumables we use on a daily basis. As a double-fed house, we’d like to avoid these two in particular (and I’m no fan of Walmart), but in-person shopping is particularly difficult (little kids + post-telework life). Is this doable? Costco seems like the obvious answer, but online stock seems limited. TIA!
If Costco online doesn’t have what you want, I believe you can use Instacart for in-store stuff.
This. I’m a huge Costco fan but rarely shop in store. Instacart is great. Some items are a little more but if you have regular items – stock up when they are on sale and it’s basically same as the instore price. Plus you can enter your membership number if you have the Executive membership so you still get your cash back.
Also super useful if you want to have a meal and flowers delivered from Costco to a friend or family in another city. You can change the delivery address from your address to someone else.
Can you not get most of these at your grocery store/drugstore? Even with online deliveries I still do my food shopping and most of my drugstore shopping in person vs. online after one to many ‘approve this susbsitute’ via Amazon or things going in or out of stock.
Our stop and shop and shoprite (east coaster) both allow you to order online and have it either delivered or loaded into your car, ditto with CVS/Walgreens – maybe look into those?
We got these things at our local grocery store and had it delivered same day through Shipt or Instacart.
I’ve never used it but isn’t this what Thrive market is for?
I haven’t used it myself yet but I’ve been looking at Vitacost for this. I found them a while back when trying to find something similar to Thrive Market without a membership.
Your local grocery store . . . ?
I use grocery delivery (fresh direct in NYC) and just get the stuff from there. I also pick up stuff at the drugstore when I’m there for prescriptions or something urgent. The prices are a bit higher than Target was before I started boycotting them, but I don’t buy a ton of random crap I don’t need from target so overall I save money.
The grocery store.
Grocery stores and pharmacies are so expensive and urban ones (where I am) have horrible selection and inventory. Not an option for everyone!
That’s the trade-off of shopping (more) ethically. Good are cheap when they are sourced in a dubious manner/propped up by billionaires. (Costco being the exception, but that is largely due to scale). If you don’t want to use Amazon or Walmart, you are going to pay more.
+1
Calling on practical advice from the Hive! I broke my wrist and 2 fingers (right wrist/dominant hand) and I’m trying my best to adapt. On the professional front, I’m back at work and typing with one hand is maddening. I am trying to dictate emails/documents, but it’s certainly not foolproof. Any other tips/tricks/AI or tech suggestions for getting through the next 6-8 weeks?
Go to the salon 2 times a week for a blow out. Kept my sanity while my hand was in a cast for 8 weeks. Also, get used to asking for help. Cutting your food is surprising annoying one handed. If you go out to restaurants, freely ask them to cut your food (protein, anything not breakable with a fork) for you into bite size pieces. I still have fond memories of a restaurant that took this an opportunity to engage in all their fanciful plating tendencies. One side effect, my writing got a lot better since every word took so long to type.
Been there. The one-handed typing will get easier as you heal, but yeah, it’s hunting and pecking for sure. Make sure you switch your mouse to your left hand, because that will be easier.
Co-sign getting a blow out. And I found I could only wear athletic pants, because I couldn’t do zippers one handed.
Went through this when I broke my thumb on my dominant hand:
Turn on all the predictive text options.
Consider a split keyboard if your wrist range of motion is reduced.
Put an away message up in your email that calling may be faster+ please excuse typos.
Get that Dr. Note + instructions for work on max typing time so you heal faster.
Accept that you’re going to be less productive for a while and that’s just part of being human and occasionally having injuries.
I’m so sorry. I don’t have any ideas beyond what you said, but folks will be prepared to cut you a lot of slack.
Or maybe you have a capable elementary school student eager to demonstrate their typing skills? Years ago my then-boss broke some part of his dominant hand. The poor guy had to have surgery and for the next day or so we got emails that included the message “Sorry for any typos and the slow response. My eight year old is helping me type.” and it was adorable.
I got very bad carpal tunnel for a month and lost these of my hand for about a month, couldn’t type. I made a lot of phone calls that month which really helped, and had the other party take notes to do emails. Sometimes my assistant typed for me. This was years ago, but if it happened to me now, I would absolutely try talk to text and see if it worked much. My SIL sends a lot of voice memos and prefers that so you might try that too.
Switch your left and right mouse keys so that your usable hand can do better clicking. You’ll adapt to the typing, maybe use the broken hand for shift keys. Accept that you will be slow at the start.
If you haven’t got an electrical toothbrush, now’s the time. There are loads of gadgets for dexterity that might help with small frustrations. A zip puller, sock puller, jar vacuum breaker, pump bottles instead of squeeze bottles, tangle teezer detangler hair brush, manicure to keep your nails short, hair clips instead of hair bands, backpack instead of bags, book or document stand/holder, steamer instead of iron… I had the worst time with my hair when I had a similar situation, and if it had been now I would have gotten one of those paddle brush hair dryers.
It’s a confetti dot. Not every dot is a polka dot.
I genuinely appreciate this level of pedantry on topics like this. And I just had a very informative look at the Wikipedia page for polka dots.
Thank you for sharing this!
interesting! Good to know what to search when I finally have to replace my favorite blouse.
Love this comment. Thank you!
Or maybe Swiss dot…
Swiss dot is of similar scale but is woven (not knit) into the fabric in a manner that leaves a textured, thick dot on a lightweight background fabric that is often slightly sheer, usually cotton.
Be still my heart! You really know your dots.
No, swiss dots are just tiny polka dots. Both are evenly spaced, like on a grid. Confetti dots are spaced randomly and may be different sizes of dots
They’re just small dots. Not small polka dots. Dots.
Love this, and now thinking of changing my handle to Confetti Dots.
Does anybody here have any tips for keeping athletic performance high during your luteal phase? I was a competitive swimmer through college and I didn’t notice the effects of my cycle as much then. But now I’m in my mid-30s and back into masters swimming. I notice much more how much easier things feel during my follicular phase and how much harder they are in the luteal phase. I’ve got a big meet coming up that’s going to be during the last week before my period and I want try to avoid the sluggish and weak feelings as much as possible.
I will confess that I actually have no idea what those words mean, but I do know that the US women’s soccer team has been focused on how cycles affect the players’ performance, so you may be able to find some things by searching around that. My trainer is also focused on this, but I am older and noncompetitive so it isn’t something I’ve discussed in depth with her. But you may be able to find a trainer near you with a similar interest.
Because I am a big nerd about this, and feel so deeply annoyed about how the intricacies of a woman’s cycle are ignored in sex education and healthcare, I will tell you! The follicular phase is the first part of your cycle, from menstruation to ovulation – the time when a follicle is maturing to be able to release an egg. The luteal phase begins after ovulation and lasts until menstruation (the first day of your period begins the next cycle). There are definite energy fluctuations due to the hormone shifts
I’m going back on the pill because the hormonal shifts are too much for me mentally. (I already take a pharmacy’s worth of mental health meds and hormones still show them who’s boss every month). So that’s the only way I know of to get rid of it.
Stacy Sims talks a lot about this! Take a look at her books Next Level or Roar.
How much do you do/say in an online context when an old friend from the past contacts you or comments on a social media post? like it seems easier in real life to be like hi, nice to see you, how have the last 30 years been going for you?…
I’d say very little: “Joe! Good to hear from you!”
I’d add “Let’s catch up!” if I wanted to.
If it’s genuine, I message them directly and say it’s nice to hear from them, and ask how they are doing.
I snoop their profile and make sure they’re not in an MLM before responding.
It sounds potentially great. I would consider this in a heartbeat.
Had a very good experience with my father’s concierge PCP. Was worth every penny.
And I think as we get older, to have a doctor with a focus on older adults is very smart.
Vent and asking for advice: How would you respond, if at all, to an adult sibling who is repeatedly provided financial support by your parent? Our parent is not forthcoming about her finances, but she lives modestly (mortgage is paid off), travels frequently, and drives a luxury car. Our parent has a pension and savings. Our parent believes that discussing money is gauche. Sibling and I are both professionals and are both divorced. Sibling, who is forthcoming about her finances, routinely spends beyond her means and is all about keeping up with the Joneses. Sibling was awarded a large amount of alimony for five years, of which two years remain. She purchased a house where she needs the alimony to pay the mortgage. She borrowed from her retirement account last year and was hit with a large tax bill, and our parent is paying the tax bill. Our parent also provided my sibling money for a car last year, which was used to pay off the sibling’s credit card bill and not buy a car. I learn of these things largely from my sibling, who seems to hold no qualms in taking money from our parent. Sibling believes that we have a large inheritance coming our way – eventually. I am less certain and am also aware of the potential cost of long-term care. I am the local child, so I am more likely to take an active role in managing our parent as she ages. My concern is my sibling taking more from my parent than my parent can afford, and my parent’s unwillingness to say no to my sibling. To this point, I have stayed entirely out of it and let them manage their affairs. I am also the saver, and so I see that I will be responsible for making the decisions and paying any costs. Any advice other than stay out of it and hold my own boundaries?
Are you able to have a conversation with your parent about their aging plans and roughly the finances around those? I think that’s really the key issue as in pertains to you and are well within your rights to have those talks. Otherwise, as frustrating as it is, I think the rest of it is not your circus.
You need to have a frank conversation with your parent and tell them that you’re not going to be fronting the costs of their care if they give away more than they can afford to the sibling (or anyone else). Even if your parent doesn’t want to discuss money, tell them this and repeat it if necessary.
I think you’re going to have to stay out of it except to the extent of any factual corrections. Like they reference sibling needing a car and them providing money for a car, then I would be clear that your understanding is that the money was used to pay off credit card debt, not to buy a car. You’re going to have to leave it up to your parent to take issue with that or decide to accept that paying off the CC debt might have enabled sibling to get financing for a car loan or lease.
If your parent is giving enough money to your sister to buy a car, your parent is likely on the hook for the gift tax. You really need to have a serious talk with your parent about all the financial ramifcations.
I thought you could essentially take an “advance” on the estate to avoid the gift tax, and the estate tax is very high and doesn’t impact most people.
Correct
No advice but I have a similar sibling, and it makes me cringe. I really do not want to hear the usual conversational combo of “woe is me bad job/expenses” and “I bought a designer bag!” when I know my parents are helping with her mortgage. I try to limit contact.
I’d talk to my parent about putting a codicil in their will that details that these “loans” will be deducted from sibling’s share, and then be open about it.
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