This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Happy Presidents' Day, everyone! If you happen to be in and shopping, there are lots of great sales; I'd first check out the ones with the widest variety like Nordstrom (6000+ markdowns) or Zappos, or biggest discounts (like Ann Taylor Factory, Banana Republic Factory, or J.Crew Factory)!
- 6PM.com – Up to 70% off! Lots of big discounts on Saucony, Splendid, Lucky Brand, Naturalizer and more.
- Ann Taylor – 40% off full price styles, and extra 50% off all sale styles.
- Ann Taylor Factory – 40-60% off almost everything, PLUS an extra 15% off your purchase and free shipping today only!
- Anthropologie – Extra 40% off sale items!
- Banana Republic – 40% off + 10% off almost everything!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40 to 70% off the entire site — plus extra 40% off clearance AND an extra 20% off your purchase!
- Boden – Up to 60% off clearance! (Don't forget to check out our recent roundup of how to build a work wardrobe at Boden!)
- Brooks Brothers – Online only, up to 60% off! Big deals on men's suits today if you're buying for a loved one.
- Express – 40% off almost everything.
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off sale styles! Plus, 40% off everything else.
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off everything, plus an extra 50% off clearance — and free shipping for 2 days only!
- Last Call – Extra 30-75% off everything PLUS 10% off on top of everything!
- Loft – Extra 70% off all sale styles!
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 70% off, 1000s of new styles added!
- Nordstrom – The Winter Sale is on — check out our mini-roundup on the Weekend Open Thread.
- Reiss – Prices up to 70% off!
- Talbots – 70% off clearance! (Don't forget to check out our recent roundup of how to build a work wardrobe at Talbots!)
- Zappos – Presidents' Day Sale! Hundreds of new markdowns!
Anonymous
PSA- I know Loft’s quality can vary, but this sale is worth it. I snagged Julie trousers (wardrobe staple for me) for under $10!
Aggie
Loft’s sale is incredible…My favorite sheath dress (with short sleeves AND pockets) was only $13.50!
In-House in Houston
Can anyone tell me about the ATFactory loafters? Do they run wide? I have a very narrow foot but they have a really cute pair of “bow loafers” that I want to try. Free shipping today! TIA!!
Irish Midori
I have a narrow foot, and recently got a pair of ATFactory loafers. I think they fit great, both with and without socks. Not the most comfortable shoes I own, but definitely worth the price.
Irish Midori
Vent: I cannot with a MLM person right now. I barely know this person (new neighbor, I am trying to be friendly). I agreed to go to a “party” a couple months ago, just to be nice, and now she emails, texts, just drops by (always at awkward times), and has just emailed asking if I would like to host a “party.” No! I ordered two products to be supportive, wasn’t really overwhelmed with either one, and don’t have any further interest. I feel rude saying no or not responding, but then I resent being made to feel rude because really, she initiated this awkwardness. I guess I just need to grow up and be more direct.
Anonymous
Yes, you do! There is nothing whatsoever rude about saying “no thank you” or “no, I’m not interested in hosting a party”. You resent her for making you feel rude, and that is absurd.
Anon
MLM people are annoying but it sounds like you’ve led her on a bit. Of course you need to be direct and say you’re not interested in participating in any way.
Anon
I don’t think you’ve lead her on at all. I hate how awkward these interactions are and think you were kind to support her. Just avoid avoid avoid (the subject at hand) and tell her no when she directly asks.
Anon
There’s nothing rude about saying no. It’s much more polite to be clear about your intentions than to be vague and imply things you don’t mean.
Miss Manners
Nobody is allowed to take up your time without your permission. That includes time/space in your email or on your phone. Tell her no and then set her emails to go directly to your spam folder. Block her number on your phone. When she drops by, tell her it is really a very bad time and you cannot deal with her. No is not rude, not responding is not rude after you’ve told her no. If she continues to hound you after you’ve told her no, she is the one being rude.
LittleBigLaw
I got a birthday message on Facebook this year from a casual acquaintance that was actually an MLM party request. Was so annoyed, I unfriended them. Too. Much.
Anon
The problem is that the MLMs train people to “overcome objections,” but pretend that those objections aren’t a nice ways of saying no. In the business industry, those objections are barriers to be overcome; among friends, they often are not.
The best you can probably muster is “I’m sorry, that’s not my thing.”
Irish Midori
I think this is my deal. In normal social interactions, what I have done is politely decline repeated attempts to engage. In aggressive MLM-world, I have failed to object strongly enough. It’s like that annoying guy who keeps asking you out even though you are clearly not going for it, and you finally have to shut him down so hard it makes YOU the jerk. *sigh* I guess that’s the world I’m dealing with here. I kinda hate it, especially here, where I wouldn’t have minded developing a neighborly friendship. Now I just don’t think that’s possible.
Anonymous
It. Does. Not. Make. You. A. Jerk. To. Just. Say. No.
“No, I’m not interested in hosting a party.” Not. Rude.
“Susan, love catching up but I’m never going to be interested in Healing Special Oils and Id like you to stop asking me to buy them.” Not. Rude.
Anon
But just say “no thanks and please stop asking.” that’s the middle ground between politely declining with some mild objection and shutting down so hard that you’re the jerk. Yes, other people should take hints but also women need to not be so worried about sounding mean that they don’t just say a definitive no. Instead what we consider polite turndowns are usually leaving the door open: “it’s not a good time” “oh I wish I could” “I’ll think about it”
If you really are giving definitive no’s and they aren’t taking the hint it’s not rude to escalate the assertiveness of your no. If people think you’re a jerk then there probably isn’t much else you could do for them not to think that other than acquiesce to the thing you don’t want to do anyway.
Ellen
Agreed. People can be so thoughtless of your time–b/c they have nothing to do, they automatically assume that YOU have nothing to do and can accomodiate their dumb requests! After consulting with Dad on this issue, he says you shoud flat out tell your dumb freind that you will have no part of wasting your time hosting a party. You have better things to do, and if she has so much time on her hands, let HER host a party! FOOEY!
Anonymous
Yes, this.
Manners are for mannerly people.
Some guys need a “If you call me again, I’m going to the police.” The MLM equivalent has to be out there, somewhere. My RBF has sufficed for now with MLMs (whereas I’ve had to use the above script with a guy who really didn’t get it).
Anon
It’s not rude to say no if you don’t say it rudely. “Oh thanks for the offer but I’m happy with my current products and I’m not up for hosting a party. Best of luck though.” On repeat. If she doesn’t get the hint that’s on her and you wouldn’t be out of line to tell her so. “As I’ve already said, I’m not interested. Your continuing to push on this is further confirming my decision to not participate.”
At some point you just have to accept that some people aren’t going to be happy unless you do what they want. In this case it’s buying an mlm product but it applies to so many interactions people post here. It’s not rude to be your own person and have different preferences for what you do with your time and money. If people want to internalize that as an offense to them that’s really an issue for them and maybe their therapist. You can’t control other people’s emotions nor should you try.
Irish Midori
Thank you. Excellent advice, and I just sent almost those exact words in an email. *big sigh* I don’t know why this kind of thing stresses me out.
Anonymous
IMO this hesitancy to be “rude” that you’re describing is the bread and butter of MLMs. They intentionally push social boundaries like this because they don’t care about you and see you as a breathing ATM.
Anonymous
This is why I draw a hard line on MLMs and just don’t participate in any way, with any of them. I sometimes would consider buying something to be supportive, but then they never leave you alone. So I just don’t at all now.
Aunt Jamesina
My response to MLM invitations (which mercifully have always been online or via text for me ) are always something along the lines of, “thank you, but I’m not at all interested in X company. But do you want to (go out for coffee/check out that new bar/stop by for dinner)” if I actually want to see this person– or if it’s someone I’m not interested in spending time with, replace the invitation somewhere with a genuine “have a good one!”.
They need to know that you aren’t rejecting them, but you are rejecting that business model and what they’re selling. I think any time you go to an event, they see it as having a foot in the door and won’t leave you alone. For your scenario (since you’ve already attended one event), I think it would be a kindness to say that you aren’t interested in what’s being sold. Any pushback can be responded with “thanks, but it’s not for me”. I did tell one of my close girlfriends who briefly sold for an MLM that I will never, ever spend money on any product sold that way, but I think that only works with very close friends.
God, I hate how MLMs exploit social niceties.
Amanda0247
What’s the current standard of business formal/professional in east coast US?
Anon
The east coast is a really big place with a lot of regions and industries. Absent any other data points I would say business formal/professional in any location is a standard suit in a traditional color (black, blue, gray).
Anonymous
There isn’t one. I usually err on the side of assuming business formal means suits until I have confirmation it also includes separates with jackets, and then often it includes blouses and dresses no jacket. But as an initial default, I go suit.
Anon
I am not a litigator, so YMMV, but I feel like a sheath dress with a coordinating (not matching) blazer with great shoes and accessories is D.C. business formal for women. Can’t speak for other cities.
Anon
Same for Boston. Not in law but formal finance.
Anon
I’m in Nashville. I would say the same applies here. I really only wear a suit for court appearances or depositions where I really want to look “like a lawyer.” A lot of women here wear dresses with non-matching blazers for motion hearings (probs not a jury trial). I really mainly wear a suit because I’m just trying to get some wear out of the suits I’ve bought for jury trials…
Anonanonanon
DC area as well (not an attorney) and would say the same. Coordinating dress and blazer and heels is usually my go-to. If I’m trying to dress business professional, but for a meeting where I know/regularly see everyone, I may go down to black blazer, button-up, black pants, black heels.
Velma
Same here–East Coast college town, university administration.
Anon
Venting: a (very nice) woman asked my husband yesterday if we were trying for babies. We got married 8 weeks ago and I am 38.
I find that question rude enough at any age, but it’s like — lady, I might be infertile and sobbing every month when I get my period. I might be miscarrying, or sufficiently worried about miscarriage that I don’t want you or anyone else up in my business until we are out of the danger zone. And this stuff is so obvious that it feels really rude to explain it.
Anonymous
I had that Q from a very nice guy I used to work with when I got engaged. I just said, “I guess we will find out. And it may not be all unicorns and rainbows.” Sort of slowly and sort of sadly. And he actually got it, which I didn’t think he would (or any guy, esp. one who had kids when his wife was in her 20s). I would have been trying, FWIW. Had I not been, I may have used the Ashley Judd “G-d to know, us to find out.”
Anon
I like that wording.
My SIL got pregnant at 41, so I am well aware that I could easily conceive, but we are definitely in the danger zone of just being too old. I don’t want a pep talk… I just want people to know that it’s not all unicorns and rainbows.
Anon
I am honest with people (btw it doesn’t stop when you have a kid- as soon as you pop one out you start getting asked about #2). “It would be lovely, but hasn’t happened yet” and if I like the person I let them know I’ve had miscarriages too.
Irish Midori
Ugh. I’ve never come up with a witty or appropriate reply for this. I remember when the crown prince of Japan got married, his new wife was asked how many kids they planned to have (on national TV!), and she said, “I guess that’s up to the storks.” Which was as classy I reply as I could have imagined.
Anon
I like that answer! Especially because I’m not religious and it feels insincere to reference God.
Anon
I was 26 when I got married, but I still got this question a lot and I just said “We’ll let you know when we have happy news to share.” We waited almost a decade to conceive and when I got pregnant (fairly quickly) at 35, people were shocked and many said to my face “Wow, I thought you were infertile.”
Suburban
It’s not nice to ask that kind of thing. It’s invasive and rudeas you pointed out. You can absolutely reply however you see fit. If she’s hurt or taken aback at least she won’t ask again.
EM84
I happily reply to these questions that it is considered rude and nosy to ask these questions where I come from. People who are dumb enough to ask auch invasive questions (in public!) esp if we are not even close friends need this wake-up call. And I don’t feel bad at all.
rosie
Do you get asked “where do you come from” then? Because “here” would be an awesome response.
Anon
For people who you’re comfortable talking directly to, a simple “Are you inquiring about my s*x life in a [workplace/church/grocery store/insert whatever place here]?” with a deadpan face. They will get the message that’s it’s not an ok line of questioning.
Anon
I’m the OP.
The woman in question is actually too nice to do that to (some *very* softened language about “I’m 38, and while many women have had kids at my age, we fully expect that this may not happen”), but… yeah I am using that.
Ellen
Hugs to you. I hope I am MARRIED next year and if I do, I will be trying every day, and night b/c I have wasted a lot of time with men who really did NOT want to have babies with me, but I kept thinking that they would grow up and do more then having $ex with me. This is a wakeup call for the hive to women who want to have babies that they need to garden with men who will not be put off if we ask for babies. That is what my friend Laurie did. She got pregenant right away with her boyfriend who MARRIED her. That is what I should have done. FOOEY!
Anonymous
I once legit burst into tears at that question (I’m not normally an emotional personality, but hormones are weird). You would think it would be basic manners not to ask!
Senior Attorney
Swear to God, I am not making this up: My husband and I got married when I was 58 and he was 69. And people STILL asked us if we were “planning to have a family.”
My replay was “We already have a 30 year old and two 90 year olds, and that’s about all we can handle!”
Fringe
I absolutely hate that question. I’m 19, unmarried, in college, and just generally trying to work like crazy to (hopefully, maybe) not have to work into my 60s (my genetics probably won’t let me age gracefully, and I want to be solidly out of the workforce by the time dementia or tremors set in). One of the sister’s nurses labor and delivery nurses told me I’d “change my mind when I’m older” after I made an off-hand remark that you couldn’t pay me enough to go through labor. My grandmother called to ask me when I was going to “give her a great-grandbaby.”while my sister was in labor! I don’t even own a house, and I just barely bought a car recently. Why on earth do these people think that I, a literal teen, should be making plans to start having babies?? It boggles my mind!
NOLA
Update: I had my first coffee date yesterday! Probably not going anywhere. We had a really nice conversation, but have very little in common (lifestyle, etc). He was the first person on Match who was interested and articulate – turns out he’s a psychiatrist and did his training in Germany. It ended a little awkwardly (he suddenly said he needed to go…) but it was good for me to have the first one. Now I won’t freak out so much!
I finally got a chance to buy clothes this weekend. It’s great to have clothes that fit!
Anon
Good job! Keep at it, it will get easier and (hopefully) more fruitful.
NOLA
My friend who pushed me to do this says I need to have profiles on some other sites. She and I plan to work on that, but with Carnival season upon us, we may not get to it for a week or two.
anon
No worries—move at a pace that feels doable for you.
Monday
Good for you! This is a great attitude to have about dating, especially just getting back into it (which I recently did as well). The important thing is that you did it!
January
Go you!
It’s okay to take your time about being on multiple sites. It’s not a bad idea, necessarily, but go at a pace that works for you.
NOLA
Nobody in New Orleans gets anything done on the weekend for the last two weeks of Carnival (other than playing and going to parades), so getting on a new site after Carnival is probably better anyway.
Senior Attorney
Yay! You go!
Brands of wine to cook with?
I’m making a delicious-sounding pork recipe for dinner this evening for some friends. It calls for a dry white wine, and suggests an unoaked Chardonnay or a Sauvginon Blanc. The Chardonnay that I drink most frequently is oaked, but I read that those tend to turn bitter when heat is applied. Do you have some specific brands of unoaked Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc that you’ve cooked with and liked? I found a list online for bottles in the $8-$19 range that are “drinkable” and good for reducing into sauces… but I haven’t tried any of those brands in the past. (Clearly, I’m not a wine snob, but sometimes I like to cook fancy recipes!)
Anonymous
You don’t need a specific brand, but I usually drink and cook with Oyster Bay sav Blanc.
Anon
That’s what I drink. I think it’s usually <$10 at the grocery store.
Ms B
In that price range and for something widely available, I probably would go with Joel Gott Chard (California) or Kim Crawford Chard or Sauv Blanc (New Zealand).
Anon
Fun tip: Lots of local liquor stores will also give you enough free wine for a recipe if you just need a cup or something. Or charge you just pennies for that amount. This is especially useful for weird alcohol where it calls for 1/2 cup of something you will never end up using a whole bottle. Its worth it to call ahead but there are like three places in my neighborhood that do this. It gets people in their store buying other products so its worth it to them.
I also freeze leftover wine for cooking in ice cube trays to have it on hand.
Anonymous
Where do you live?
Anon
Brooklyn but has been true in other cities I have lived in
Brands of wine to cook with?
Thanks for these recs (and the tip about smaller amounts of wine!)!
Treat yo self
This weekend I came to the conclusion that we need to treat our selves to new towels. Best recommendations for soft but durable towels for under say $20 a pop?
Anonymous
I forget how much they were, but we get bath sheets from Costco when we moved and it was the best decision of my life. They’re so big and fluffy and you can wrap it completely around your self with room to spare. It’s going on year 3 and they are still perfect.
Anon
I got towels from Costco for Christmas. They weren’t particularly absorbent at first but I’ve washed them several times and have purposefully avoided using fabric sheets. They are a bit more absorbent now and very fluffy and soft.
Anon
I actually use Costco beach towels for showering— huge and cozy.
Mallory
Check this out:
https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/best-bath-towel/
Treat yo self
Thanks! I always go to Wirecutter for my appliances, didn’t think about towels.
editrix
Wirecutter’s runner-up, the Fieldcrest towels from Target, are great and often go on sale.
Anonymous
Ok Hive. I need some tech help. Our office is technically closed today, so my tech folks are out of the office. I have made a dumb error that I think is an easy fix– can anyone tell me how to do this?
I opened a file– let’s call it Old File– to use it as a template for New File. I started adding all the info for New File and then hit save– but what I MEANT to do was Save As for New File. Instead I just saved over all the Old File info. So now Old File has all the info for New File, and I fear my Old File info is gone.
I haven’t done anything to it since this error– is there any way to get back Old File? Thanks for any help!
Jules
I have done this more than once, I can relate. Maybe try just “undo typing” as many times as necessary to get back to the original (after having copied all of the document in its present form into a new document, so you don’t lose the work).
Anonymous
exactly what i do, when i do this ALL THE TIME
Ses
Here are some suggestions to try. I use cloud storage and can always recover through that.. But TIL there’s a windows tool for it too. https://www.pcworld.com/article/3072649/software/3-ways-to-recover-an-older-version-of-an-existing-file.html
Anon
Is this in sharepoint or something similar? If in sharepoint, you can restore versions. If just on a netwrok drive – what Jules said. Or copy your work in new document and conti ue editing that copy, ask IT. To orrow if they can restore the original document to an older version.
pregnancy interview outfit
Wise ladies – I have an in-person interview and am about 31 weeks along (I mentioned this over the phone interview as well.) What do you think of a black jersey dress along with a black blazer, and pearls? I know it’s hard without the seeing the two, but conceptually even does it seem okay or just not workable at all? I have a gray jersey dress too that I could wear with the blazer, but it doesn’t seem as appropriate as a darker color.
Thanks!
Jules
As long as the blacks work together – I recently tried to put a plain black blazer over a black windowpane dress and the two shades of black somehow clashed – that sounds perfectly fine. And you’re right to think that gray jersey may read too casual.
OP
Thank you!
Jules
Also, good luck with the interview!
OP!
So sweet, thanks!!
OP
So sweet, thank you!
Irish Midori
Sounds super classy to me. Pearls elevate any outfit, IMO, and you can’t ever go wrong with black.
OP
You guys…:) Thank you!
LittleBigLaw
Good luck! I’ve interviewed this pregnant, and it was so stressful. You’re going to look (and be) great!!
OP
Aw, that’s SO reassuring to hear! Thank you!
Anon
I know the general stats are against me saying this- but interviewing pregnant has always been good luck for me getting the job :) so good luck
OP
What a kind comment, thank you!
Anonanonanon
Does anyone else feel like that, at a certain point, the more money you make the more you need to spend?
I got a new job and then was quickly promoted, and find myself making $45K more than I used to, which is obviously wonderful! However, I’m having to outsource much more of my life, and it feels more like a necessity than luxury. I’m now paying for cleaning help, grocery delivery, a rent the runway subscription, etc. I know it’s not all strictly necessary, but I would like to see my husband and children and friends at some point that isn’t with my head in a toilet I’m scrubbing or on my way to the dry cleaners. I’m also just much more mentally worn-out in the evenings, so I spend more to go out with my family or get a sitter so my husband and I can take some time, etc.
Again, incredibly grateful to be in this position, it wasn’t too long ago I was a single mom barely scraping by, but I guess I thought I’d spend it on more “fun” things than “let’s keep this house running while I pour my mental energy into making money” things.
Anon
Are you me? Lol. Short answer – yes. I find myself upping the ante on child care mostly. BUT, I also look at my employer’s 401k contribution, which substantially increased when I started making more money (it’s a % of my salary) and my long term earning potential. My kids are already 6 and 4, and I think that eventually the child care bills will go way down. So, I’m just accepting this is a very expensive season of my life, and in the long run (for me) making more money will be beneficial.
Anonanonanon
Yes!
I’m hoping childcare bills eventually go down. Right now, my child who is in public school in an HCOL area costs as much in childcare as my infant. Before/After school care, combined with pricey summer childcare, eat up way more of my budget than I anticipated. I’m dreaming of the day he’s old enough for me to trust him to get off the bus and to the front door by himself (here “secondary school” is grades 7-12, so it will probably be at grade 7) and I may have someone be there daily in the afternoon who is primarily focused on housekeeping, running minor errands for us, but can also provide proof-of-life for the older kiddo. No idea what we’ll do for full-time care in the summer when he hits 7th grade, though!
Anonymous
You don’t need this. You want it. Which is fine. But don’t become one of those out of touch rich people who actually says stuff like “the more money you make the more money you need to spend” because a- it’s completely absurd and b- it’s wildly off base. A cleaning lady working 12 hour days with a two hour bus commute “needs” meal delivery way more than you but she doesn’t get to have it.
Anonanonanon
No, you’re right. And I do acknowledge that being able to afford these things or have these considerations is a luxury, and definitely try not to lose perspective. I guess I thought it would be more fun? I’m just realizing that “outsourcing” requires a lot more mental energy than I realized.
Also, I need to acknowledge that a lot of the outsourcing isn’t necessarily driven by increased work hours or fatigue from said hours, but a worsening chronic health condition I have, the side effects of the chemotherapy I take for it, and adding an infant to the mix (when I previously had only a school-aged child). It’s easy to blame work but I think it’s just LIFE. And you’re right, there are people out there who have all of that and more thrown at them right now, which much fewer resources and much less support.
Anonanonanon
You’re right. I am very fortunate. I wrote a longer reply but it got eaten.
I do have a chronic health condition that has been flaring since the end of my pregnancy with my most recent child (for about a year) which I now get a type of chemotherapy for every 4 weeks (in an oncology unit) and I think the increased pace of the new job is just more than I expected. I thought I would get more “fun” money but I’m feeling like I have to funnel more towards maintaining a household/children because there’s only so much energy.
Of course, there’s people with all kinds of issues who don’t have the luxury of working. I say luxury because I could easily get on disability instead, but I find work very fulfilling and would much prefer to be working as long as possible, which is only possible because I have financial and family/spousal support and excellent medical care. I know a lot of people in the same condition would not have the luxury of holding down a job and being able to make medical appointments/be there for their children/maintain their house, so I should definitely shift my thinking from “boo hoo I have to spend money on help instead of clothes” to “I am lucky I get to afford the help I need to continue doing something I find fulfilling and feeling valuable to society”. Thank you for the perspective, it’s easy for all of us to forget to take a step back once in a while.
OP
This is such a classy and kind response to what i perceived as a very judgmental post dressed up as class consciousness.
Em
Yes – I am in the exact same position. Having lived very frugally for a decade paying off my student loans, I try to be conscious of lifestyle creep and sometimes struggle with enjoying luxuries/outsourcing like this. Expenses that could easily be cut if our income dropped (RTR subscription, cleaning service, gym membership, etc.) are literally highlighted in my budget so I don’t think of them in the same terms as the mortgage or groceries. I think as long as your can afford these things while still meeting your goals (emergency fund, retirement savings, etc.), and they don’t become necessities (i.e. you can go back to scrubbing that toilet if you lose your job), it is ok.
Celia
Can your husband do the errands that include the cleaners? Some grocery shopping? Are your children old enough to do chores? If the kids did more, you could cut down the cleaners to every other week instead of every week, for example.
I used to run Saturday errands *with* my father (cleaners, hardware, some grocery, library, lunch) and it was a lot of fun.
anon
This is about the value of your time right now….as your time has become more valuable (~$22/hour more), you are wisely outsourcing those things that would not be a good investment of our time. As you get busier and earn more, you have to prioritize what is a good use of your time. This will continue to happen….for those of us that aren’t used to earning so much (this happened to me too) and are used to being more frugal, we can get a little anxious when we are able to spend more/outsource things that we always did for ourselves. You have to do this to balance and rebalance your life….over time you may find that you can “insource” one of the services again….you’ll know if that is the right thing to do, but focus on maximizing your earnings now and investing your time that will help you maximize your earnings for the future.
Anon
I have outsourced some tasks when extremely busy, and doing so has sparked joy. They don’t even have to be bad tasks – they may even be things I like doing – but being in the position to trade money for time, and strategically using it, has been a joyful experience.
You need to be way more strategic about all this. List out all of your monthly service expenses, then list out the ones you want but do not yet have. Then list out a lower-case alternative to each one. Get creative. (Example: you have RTR. You could: find a place that picks up your drycleaning for you, or hire an errand running service for it. Nordstrom personal shoppers might help you find machine-washable clothes for a capsule wadrobe. If money were really tight, you would throw it all in the washer with woolite or use dryel.) Compare prices on grocery delivery services and ensure that you don’t pay extra because you are not hitting the minimums.
Then prioritise. Make two lists: one of things you are paying for, and one of things you’re saving money on by not doing.
Anonymous
Hi ladies, here is a question for those who are not busy today and are financially savvy. How would you invest your money if you had a extremely steady job with a low six figure income? Basically, you’re going to be making good but not great money until you retire. You already own a home with a modest mortgage. No kids, but hopefully soon. Would you take more risks with your investments? Buy your retirement home now and rent it out? I’ve gone from eating popcorn for dinner at the end of the month to having a great job at a good income for life and I don’t know what to do with the money.
Anonymous
I would, and do, invest in index funds targeted to my retirement date. I’m 35, I assume my current asset allocation is higher risk.
Anon
We’re in the same situation. My husband is very financially savvy and says that index funds are the best investment and I know from family experience that a rental property is an insane amount of work, so we don’t want to do that. We max out our retirement savings (employer 401k and independent Roth IRA) and then we just put additional money in index funds. We do save some money in a 529 but are a bit leery of saving too much, because it can only be used for education and we only have one kid and she may end up with a full-ride scholarship or decide not to go to college. So we put enough in that to max our state tax benefit, but otherwise will just pay for college out of our general savings.
Anon
You are smart to not overdo the 529! I tell clients this all the time. (I’m an estate planning attorney so often know where people have money stashed and hear horror stories from financial advisors, but am not a financial advisor myself.)
If you need an additional vehicle for Roth-type savings, you may look at permanent life insurance. Don’t get oversold but ask around for a good agent.
Anon
If your kid gets a scholarship, you can still take the money out of the 529 without penalty ( up to the amount of the scholarship. You just have to pay tax on earnings, which you’d have to do with any type of account) . I know that doesn’t help if she decides not to go to college, but there are big benefits to 529’s if you think that you may qualify for some financial aid.
Sadie
I also wouldn’t count on a full ride scholarship unless there ends up being something soecial or unusual about your kid. We are in a similar financial place but arrived there late (ie, did not nake low six figured when he was a kid but did by high school). He had a 3.95 gpa, high SAT/ACT and some interesting extracurriculars but didn’t like, start a business ar 12 or anything. He got very minimal merit aid offers. Most scholarships had some need component we didn’t qualify for.
Anon
Also a big fan of index funds- I have a vanguard account that auto buys $500 a month (or whatever you feel comfortable with) and it is completely painless and adds up over time. I have it set up for my kids too ($100 to each of them each month that I’ll give to them when they are older).
Anon
How much do you pay for family photos? It seems like most people in my LCOL area have started selling digital files separately from the session fees, which are usually in the neighborhood of $200-300. And digital files start around $10-15 each. It’s frustrating to have to pay $300 for a couple decent photos of my family. Just wondering if this is a universal thing, or just a function of being in a really small market with limited competition.
Anonymous
Nothing. I have a friend take a few.
anon
Not completely universal, but not uncommon, either. Family photography is pricey, and IMO, you tend to get what you pay for. Again, not always! But there are plenty of wannabes with DSLRs who take crummy photos and/or rely on Photoshop to cover their lack of skill, and that’s what you want to avoid. A real pro knows his/her value and can charge accordingly.
Anon
Yeah, I guess my problem is I feel like these people aren’t even great photographers. I’d pay $300 or more for photos that really look professional, but these don’t. They’re no better than what I can do by myself, but of course I can’t take family photos with me in them.
Anonymous
The good family photographer I uses charges $650 for the shoot, which includes digital images (although I’m in HCOL area).
Photographers make tons of money off prints, so giving away digital files represents a big opportunity cost.
anon
We just paid $350 for family photos in Chicago which included the digital files as well as the session fees. They turned out great–we were super happy with it. But most family photos in the area seem to run closer to $600-800. (I just negotiated a much smaller package which met our needs.)
Anon
That’s how much I’ve paid in Ca (and for mini sessions no less).
Anon
You could ask a friend of family member to take a few if all you need is extra hands… or even do a self timer.
anon
In a new role and need to to create content, develop solid POV to support major business strategies and initiatives….I love the opportunity to get creative and build a compelling story/business case. I would love any tips from experienced writers and content developers…what has worked for you? I am using a combination of direct business experience, first and secondary research to support my case and develop a very well thought out and compelling POV – thanks in advance!!