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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Houda
I wear this color combination a lot but would skip this skirt.
Something about neoprene just makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think I’d feel pulled together wearing scuba fabric to work. And the print is a bit dizzying but quite interesting.
Anonymous
Neoprene is only for wetsuits. I think “scuba” is a trend created by manufacturers to save them money by using a cheap synthetic fabric that they can avoid lining or hemming.
Anon
Agreed.
Anon09er
Ding ding ding! I really miss the days not too long ago when I could easily find 95% wool (I do like a *little* stretch) that was lined… skirts and pants.
anon0321
I actually love scuba material.
Ellen
Yes, Dad says Neoprene is used to make rubber heels for his shoes, and he said that if I started wearing neoprene skirts, I will sweat alot and that is NOT going to get a man to become romantic with me. He says women remain freshest by wearing 100% cotton. He also said that Spanx did not exist when he was in his exploration phase, but there were other fabrics, like RAYON, which caused even the prettiest of women to become s-xueally undesireable once he went back to their apartement afte r an eveneing of dancing in the 1970’s. So now that I am in their place, I will stick to NATURAL fabrics, b/c even Mom stuck to 100% cotton and never wore anything to styleish, and she was the one who managed to snag Dad! YAY Mom!
BeenThatGuy
I have this skirt but in a different print. It’s very flattering. But I do agree that neoprene isn’t for everyone.
Anonymous
I run cold and the neoprene I have tried on was so comfy and kept me warm. I just need to find the right executive outfit in it. Like an MMLF Etsuko in it.
Anon
I ordered and returned this skirt. There’s really nothing scuba about it. It’s a thick double knit polyester type fabric with a lot of spandex.
For me, it showed every lump and bump and had to go back. If I’d been willing to wear double Spanx Hollywood style it might have worked.
Now for real scuba, I had a wool knit zip-front dress with real scuba fabric panels that I bought on deep post season discount in 1997. I freaking loved that thing at the time but now I’m like what was I thinking? (I know what I was thinking, it was designer and it was 90% off.)
Anon
I don’t have strong feelings about this, except it definitely looks like a $30 skirt to me. It looks like something I could pick up at JCP or DressBarn. I think I might like the print better in a less synthetic fabric, or the synthetic better in a different print?
Anon
Yeah, this print is not doing it for me.
SSC
That stripe would be like an arrow pointing at my mom gut. Hard pass.
Anonymous
Hate scuba fabric. I bought a lined Calvin Klein print scuba dress that looked horrible after wearing and washing it a few times. It got weird pills/tiny threads hanging off it and looked faded. Since then, I’ve seen similarly battered scuba fabric in the store, just from hanging and trying on! Never again.
Velma
I found it startling to read that “scuba” is a classic! I have a couple of this sort of skirt for easy summer business casual, but this unlined synthetic fabric in no way rises to business formal. I think it looks silly and cheap as styled with a nice blouse and pumps.
Sandy Phipps
I agree as it is so stiff and hard to move around in as you stand or sit in your desk. I have several of these skirts/dresses and will keep them but wear them very rarely. They look great standing but otherwise forget them!
Anon
Can anyone recommend an easy way to tame/straighten curls in short hair? I have some uneven curls on the back of my head and wanted to see if you wise ladies had any advice. I thought about a mini straight iron but my hair may be too short for that.
anne-on
I’d say a narrow (like 1 in?) barrel straightening iron would work well if you are open to buying one. If you’re trying to embrace the wave/curls I really like the deva curl wave maker combined with a bit of gel to enhance curls and then tame frizz (as long as you make sure to ‘scrunch the crunch’ to break up the gel once it sets).
Anon
I have this and like it, very quick and easy, doesn’t burn my scalp (short fine 1″-6″ hair with unpredictable curls). But the heat damage catches up eventually, so protect your hair.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002LE8P6Y/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1#customerReviews
Anon
Use a hair dryer and brush the wet hair as straight as you can while drying it with some heat.
Anon
Do you want to straighten or improve curl formation? To straighten, if your hair is so short that a minicurling wand is too big, I’d imagine you’d need to embrace your curls, grow them out a bit, or use a mild chemical straightener.
An alternative is to brush the curls out on medium to high heat with a dryer + brush or comb attachment.
Product won’t give you curls you don’t already have.
pugsnbourbon
I’ve used a travel straightener (like 1/2″) to handle weird waves in my short hair.
Sandy Phipps
I use a small brush hair dryer that works wonders on my unruly hair in those areas where I have trouble with cowlicks.
Anon
Impeached. Now onto Mitch McConnell’s sham trial – what do you call the opposite of a kangaroo court? From where I stand, that sycophantic, power-hungry McConnell is the single greatest threat to the American experiment.
Anon
You’ve wanted Trump impeached since November of 2016. The “sham trial” happened in Congress.
Get over it. Or don’t, but stop pretending that this has anything to do with justice. It’s not actually a crime to humiliate Hillary Clinton in an election, and the bipartisan opposition to the impeachment ought to demonstrate that.
Anon
LOL, to humiliate Hillary Clinton by losing by over three million popular votes? Wasn’t exactly a resounding victory, was it? It must sting for you to know that your supreme leader isn’t actually that popular.
Z
I just don’t understand how the republicans in congress are so far removed from reality. Comparing this impeachment to the crucifixion of Jesus? To Pearl Harbor? The Salem Witch Trials? Maybe we should throw Trump in a lake and see if he floats, then he’s definitely innocent right?
Anon
LOL what?
Anon
He committed impeachable offenses. Regardless of whether Democrats wanted impeachment from the beginning, he deserved it.
Anonymous
Strategy-wise, I think it would have been better (like not just a D-sympathetic view, but overall) to have a real named crime to be impeached on (treason-bribery-perjury-embezzlement-murder-something concrete). That I think that what he got impeached on is so mushy that he will get acquitted and it will play to his base so well that is guarantees re-election. It is too easy to view this as “impeachment b/c an R won the last election,” so I will result in a huge political fail.
2020 prediction: Trump gets re-elected; D keep the house (b/c Americans do love their divided government), but Pelosi loses speakership over this mess.
Anon
He’s not being impeached for humiliating Hillary Clinton, this actually has nothing to do with her at all.
Anon
I sei see you’ve absorbed the republican talking points. They’re trying to scare their base by bringing up Hillary Clinton, as if removing Trump from office would bring Hillary into office. It’s ridiculous and anyone who would be moved by such rhetoric is truly a moron.
LaurenB
“Humiliate” HRC? Huh? She won millions more votes. DJT just happened to win his votes among the rural, uneducated hayseeds.
TrixieRuby
Really? As a dyed in the wool Democrat, I may not have loved both Bush presidencies, nor Reagan, nor Nixon, but I did not think they were a threat to our country. I accept that DJT won, for a variety of good and not so good reasons, but he is incompetent and unqualified. He does not understand how the country runs, the boundaries of his role, or how to make things happen. Yes, it is great that the stock market has done well, but how do you like that deficit? My two sons will be paying for that for a long, long time, and it will cost them investments in our nation that we so need. This has nothing to do with Hilary Clinton, this has to do with a man who asked a foreign country to help him in his reelection campaign. How disgraceful is that?
Anon
Exactly. We are enjoying a prolonged favorable economy because we are spending our children’s and grandchildren’s money. Still feel good about it?
Funny how deficits are terrible unless your party does them.
M
Yes this! I absolutely agree with what TrixieRuby said.
Anon
“What is the opposite of a kangaroo quote” is something I said word for word last night.
anon
I also have opinions about our big cheese, but something tells me this thread won’t allow a civilized debate.
Anon
If you’re the poster who thinks Trump is great because you’ve made a bunch of money in the stock market, and LOL to all the little poor people and their petty problems? You’re right, we won’t allow you to post that nonsense without comment. Sorry you’re not up for having your opinions and beliefs challenged.
Anon
Welcome to the Internet. Thoroughly civilized debates are rare, just like in real life, because people are imperfect and often driven by emotions and tribalism over logic.
Anonymous
1. I got exhausted listening to everyone recount family annecdata on and on. It’s like they wanted clips for future campaign videos. But . . . fastforward.
2. I am just exhausted. And I can count. I knew how the impeachment vote would go. And the trial (which I want to happen promptly — just let it END).
3. I’ve mentally moved on to trying to gauge what this means in the elections. I’m not sure this is going to do anything but kneecap Biden, so if he wins the nomination, he still loses in the general election. I guess he doesn’t pick Tulsi to run as his VP (kidding! of course not!). But I think it guarantees a second Trump term, so I think it’s a rare Pelosi mis-step — I think she would have done better for her party if she had let people’s rage simmer so that there was no outlet for it but the ballot box. Next debate should be interesting (or awful — I may just bingewatch Friends until after November 2020).
Anon
Pelosi didn’t want to do it. The whistleblower forced her hand. She basically agrees with you about the impact on the election.
Anonymous
I couldn’t follow the whistleblower story all that well b/c I was having flashbacks of Evidence 101 and the hearsay rule.
Anonymous
Interesting — so many Pelosi just sits on it? She doesn’t HAVE to send it over to the Senate.
Anon
That was my understanding as well.
Anon
I am having a hard time replying to the right person but NPR covered the Pelosi Didn’t Wanna Do It angle last night.
Anonymous
Whether something is hearsay is wholly irrelevant at the investigative stage. And much of what the whistleblower said is subject to exceptions to the hearsay rule anyway.
January
I’m glad I’m not the only person who feels this way. My local news was broadcasting “person-on-the-street” interviews with people who had strong opinions one way or the other about the impeachment, and I’m just kind of over it. The impeachment is not going to have any consequence anyway, and I’m worried it will do more harm than good in the 2020 elections. That said, I do kind of like the idea of not forwarding the articles of impeachment so that he doesn’t get the satisfaction of an acquittal.
Angela
I really love seeing political discussions on Corporette, since there are no other places on the internet to engage in such things.
/s
Anon
I’m guessing you’re one of those commenters who would prefer we educated women all stick to talking about hair and nails and Rothys?
Anon
How dare people talk about significant current events! Maybe we should just stick to things our little lady brains can handle, like shoes and worrying about unprofessional water bottles.
Angela
Eh, I dono, just seems like this blog is focused on workplace issues, including fashion. Same way it would be weird to go on a recipe blog or hiking blog and start ranting about impeachment — there are topical forums focused on particular things. /shrug. My $.02.
Besides, is making a thread with a troll-y comment re: impeachment and “kangaroo courts” really “discussing current events”?
Anon
If you don’t realize how serious this is, then we can’t help you.
Anon
Though the commentariat is often focused on workplace issues and fashion, a wide range of other topics also come up, including relationship issues, travel, feminism, conservation, self-improvement, politics, education, personal finance, health issues, etc. If you don’t want to participate in a given conversation, just click the little pink “Collapse” button and scroll on with your day.
Cat
I don’t mind talking politics here, but I do mind the tone it tends to take — what I like here is intelligent, thoughtful replies no matter what the topic, and the way this topic was introduced today is not… encouraging of that style of conversation.
Anon
It’s kind of hard to be civil and delicate and polite and ladylike about politics in the midst of such an enormous scandal. If you’re not paying attention or if you don’t feel passionate about something, why even bother contributing? Enough with the tone police.
EB
Cat said intelligent and thoughtful, not civil, delicate, polite, or ladylike. You can be passionate and still be intelligent and thoughtful.
pugsnbourbon
McConnell is awful for sure, but man am I worried about a Pence presidency. I know an impeachment is not a removal from office, but it’s a step closer.
H/t to my wife, who correctly identified Pence’s true motivations when he started the RFRA bullsh1t here in Indiana. He’s wanted to be President for a long time.
Anonymous
Sometimes I wonder if Pence is playing a long game so that DJT doesn’t run for a second term and Pence can try to get elected in 2020. I wonder if that was originally the deal when DJT decided to run again so Pence leaked stuff that would get him impeached.
Anon
I’m less worried about Pence simply because I don’t think he’s totally unhinged, unstable, and unintelligent while also going against everything I stand for. He’s just the latter, which seems better in this sick world.
Anon
Agreed. I think he’s enough of a politician to realize that what flew in Indiana might not work on the national level. I disagree with him on the vast majority of policy issues, but feel like he does understand and respect the process involved in governing, unlike what we have now.
nasty woman
IMO he’s just as dangerous, but in different ways. Loose cannons are dangerous. So are cannons manned by intelligent, highly strategic individuals who want to hit you, who are taking aim at you, and who are going to get less attention because they’re not the crazy spinning loose cannon we just got rid of.
Anonymous
He’s also just boring, which would help defeat him in a general election.
pugsnbourbon
Unfortunately he’s not stupid at all, just misogynistic, homophobic, anti-trans, dangerously evangelical, etc. His very bland, boring reasonableness will make him much harder to defeat in an election, but he’ll continue all of Trump’s policies. And he will do everything in his power to eliminate abortion.
Anonymous
Pence is intelligent enough not to commit crimes to get himself impeached. Really we’re lucky DJT is so unhinged. Pence might not get us into a war with North Korea, but he’s learned from DJT that he can get away with pretty much any misogynistic or homophobic policy he wants here.
Seville Aire? Or OG2?
Does anyone have the Seville Aire or OG2? I have a Seville, which I love and it is a beautiful bag. My impulse, esp. when traveling, is to be a pack rat and I am thinking that the outside pocket on the Seville Aire would suit me a bit better. I had an OG forever and loved it, but after 5+ years of brutality (and a nacho cheese spill on a plane that I could never erase the grease stain from), it was demoted to strictly a travel bag once I got the Seville. I put too much into my OG when I travelled (like a laptop + a ream of paper’s worth of printed documents + stuff), but I like having the option to.
The Seville will continue as my executive meeting bag, but I don’t want to ruin it by over-cramming and I seeing if there are “large hauler” options to replace the nacho-OG bag.
Anon
I would love to hear comments on the OG2, if anyone has one. My OG one is still technically OK but after two years of daily carrying is getting worn (and smells a little funny due to a coffee spill I couldn’t quite get out). Tempted by the OG2 but not quite ready to pull the trigger.
anon
Following, wistfully because I bought a new OG over the summer (to replace one that was a daily bag for five years), and the new features of the OG2 are appealing.
Wedge booties
Could I wear these boots with tights + dress to work?
https://www.zappos.com/p/skechers-parallel-black/product/8749827/color/3
https://www.zappos.com/p/skechers-parallel-ditto-black/product/9104123/color/3
My feet love a low wedge heel. And rubber soles. If not these to wear to work with dresses, please send links to examples!
Anonymous
Depends on your office but I wouldn’t wear those to work. Blondo makes some boots with a rubber sole that look nicer to me. https://www.shoes.com/blondo-rubber-sole-boots.htm
Anon
These seem too casual to me to wear to an office, but cute for the weekend!
That said, our newest associate wore these with a miniskirt last week, and I nearly choked when I saw her, so maybe I’m just an old grump. https://www.zappos.com/p/aldo-brania-black/product/9348331/color/3
Anonymous
Wow. With one of those satin slipdresses that seem to be making a comeback? I feel like I need a Rachel haircut again.
Anon
It’s a retro look that has come back and I can appreciate it but a mini skirt in an office is just cheesy.
Panda Bear
I think they would be great in a more casual office and with the right dress. I’m picturing something with an eileen fisher vibe, versus a more classically tailored sheath, for example.
These boots don’t have the rubber heel but are a bit sleeker, and might work better with a more formal dress?
https://www.colehaan.com/eneida-wedge-bootie-55mm-black-leather/192004497853.html?src=googleshopping&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pla_nonbrand&gclid=CjwKCAiA3OzvBRBXEiwALNKDP3JS1cEimkXhIBDLlhdHPR9vB-bIssVlv7Mfq4sNWesXxTbvxbXvVxoCJakQAvD_BwE
Anon
These Cole Haans look universally flattering to me.
To me the Skechers look a little like a fashion statement and a little like a comfort shoe. I agree the fashion statement is artsy/boho. I can think of some professors I’ve had who might wear these for walking around an east coast campus rather than the more conservative default choice of flat riding boots.
I like the Skechers a little better than the Clarks below which to me just look like a comfort shoe.
Anonymous
My younger daughter has the Sketchers Parallel Ditto and loves them to bits. If my feet were smaller, I’d wear them, too. She is definitely the artsy sort.
Anon
The Skletchers are knock offs of Fly Londons (see Nordstrom). I agree that they are more fashion/comfort/arty/casual than business wear. Know your office.
Anonymous
Wow — how on earth did you catch that?! I am so impressed!
That makes me love the Sketchers a bit — I am artsy, no? OK, maybe that is a hard no. But I am in a casual office during the week.
I have some Aquitalia Rhumbas, which are *fashion* but I bet my feet would be happier in a lower fatter heel or ideally a wedge.
Anonymous
OMG — down the rabbit hole of Fly London and I think I am in love.
Anon
I have fussy feet and I wear Fly London a lot. They are very well made, and if you get the lower wedge style, extremely supportive and comfortable. I’m embracing my inner fine arts teacher.
Anonymous
What kind of work and what kind of dresses?
I’d wear them with sweater dresses, but not with suits.
anon
i would wear them, but my office skews more business casual. I would just make sure the dress was polished. And i would only wear them with black tights to keep it streamlined. I have these and wear them..
https://www.clarksusa.com/c/Step-Rose-Up/p/26146007
Anonymous
You can certainly wear them with tights and dresses. Whether they are work appropriate depends on your office culture/dress code. They are on the casual side of business casual, and a bit on the “artsy” or bohemian end of the spectrum.
Anne
I wouldn’t.
anne-on
How casual is your office? These are pretty solidly casual, but on a particularly gross snowy/sleety day I would think you could get away with it. I wouldn’t if your office is more on the formal side of business casual. I also wouldn’t pair them with a more formal suiting fabric dress – these seem like they’d match ponte dresses in terms of level of formality.
pugsnbourbon
Depends on your dress code. I think they’d be fine with tights and a dress in most biz cas environments.
Go for it
I wouldn’t wear to work but would def for weekends.
Hose Confessional
Is anyone wearing hose? I yearn for a break from black tights, but fear I will be seen as dressing like someone’s aged small-town great aunt.
Anon
I don’t think regular sheer hose unless you are formally dressed, but I’m seeing patterned skin colored tights like fishnet and lace patterns.
Anonymous
I wear hose consistently – I have no idea how people wear work dresses/skirts with bare legs. It solves the following problems for me, all in one garment:
1. I hate putting flats directly on my bare feet, and I also hate peds.
2. The lining of skirts/dresses doesn’t glide well over my skin. Hose works as well as a slip.
3. Control-top hose smooths me out and doesn’t require spanx.
Win-win-win.
FormerlyPhilly
I concur!
wearing hose
Me too!
Anon
I wear them with brown tall boots and with ballet flats on cooler spring/fall days. I never wear hose in summer because I don’t like being hot. I also need a break from black tights occasionally and there is the occasional outfit that doesn’t look good with black hosiery.
TMJ
What medical professional should I be seeing to treat TMJ? For context, I have an 8-5 desk job and workout 5-7 times per week (HIIT workouts and weightlifting). For a few years I have had issues that are symptomatic of TMJ, which have gotten progressively worse – teeth grinding (for which my dentist made me a mouth guard), pain in the right side of my face (ENT ruled out sinus pain and told me it was likely a symptom of TMJ), and tightness in my shoulders, neck, and jaw (I get monthly massages but that is only treating the symptom). I would like to address whatever the underlying cause is (assuming it is posture-related), rather than just treating the symptoms, but I’m not sure how to do that.
Anonymous
A maxillofacial doctor could help, as could an orthodontist (they can make special retainers to alleviate pressure). I’d call about each office’s capabilities, though. If you’re in Boston I can recommend some people.
rosie
Maybe PT? My acupuncturist had good ideas for exercises/stretches to do for it (I have not actually gotten acupuncture for it, but could also be an option).
Anonymous
Acupuncture is remarkable for TMJ flare-ups.
anon
I’ve gotten the most knowledgeable and proactive treatment from my dentists. However, those treatments still haven’t worked…
Anonymous
My PT specializes in myofascial release and he has literally put a latex glove on and stuck his hand in my mouth, kind of like pinching the side of my cheek between forefinger and thumb, to get at the muscles that are involved in the clenching/grinding. It’s really painful, because the muscles are all knotty and messed up, but it’s been massively helpful and seems to fix things whenever I have the occasional flare-up.
People who live in glass offices
We are moving into offices where there will be normal painted drywall walls on the sides where they meet the outside wall of the building and glass on the side where the door (wood?) is to the hallway and open workspace area. People are up in arms (I’d be — I formerly pumped in my office and that couldn’t happen with this setup). I think it will be odd though to blow my nose in a fishbowl, etc. And I guess I can bring my 5-pound weights home.
This is just something you get over? Or do people decorate around this to add privacy (I tape up kids pictures, maybe this is something I’d do on the glass now?)?
Maybe it will make my horrid computer posture improve.
Anon
I have a glass office on both the internal and external wall and I am completely used to it. I wouldn’t pump in there (those days are long over) but in terms of work privacy it’s fine. It creates a greater sense of collaboration.
Honestly it’s not fair to the people in interior cubicles to have all the natural light blocked by solid walls for offices.
Anonymous
What about when your window view is the other building that is 3 feet away? I keep my blinds shut b/c I hate being in the sightlines of strangers (I back up to a breakroom of the next building). There isn’t much light on my side even when it is sunny.
anne-on
I think that is simply how most offices are moving these days. I hated working in a big private wealth mgmt. firm where only managing director’s got to see natural sun light!
Very few offices I’ve been in in the last decade have all wood doors, it increasingly seems to be glass front/side walls to increase collaboration and to let other staffers know if you’re in/out if they need you. Those offices do though tend to have private rooms for phone calls/pumping etc. that you can book which are fully closed off (usually frosted glass, with either a lock or a sign or both).
Anonymous
My building has no windows at all, so I’m getting a kick out of the natural light arguments. Sometimes we do wish for windows, but its not possible for multiple reasons.
buffybot
I mean, considering current trends, I guess they could focus on being happy about having offices at all, regardless of the material of the walls? Open plan offices are terrible in a lot of ways but they are our current reality. Most of my former law firm colleagues who have moved in house do not have an office of their own. I don’t even have an assigned desk any more – just hot desking/smart working so you grab a spot when you come in in the morning and hope for the best. My (working) life is in a small filing cabinet and a middle school style locker. It is not nearly as awful as everyone thought it would be.
Pumping is certainly a concern – luckily my work has very nice mother’s rooms that are readily accessible. I think you just get over concerns about people seeing your computer screen.
Anon
This sounds horrible to me. I’m such a home-y person that I have to personalize my space — my own mug, pen cup, a few photos and a plant. Thank god I work in a government office built in the 1940s so I have my own office!
Anonymous
My office is sort of like this. When we first talked about moving, there was a revolt and we ended up voting for frosting to be put on the glass for the attorney offices (staff offices are on the internal side of the hallway and not frosted). The frosting doesn’t go all the way up to the ceiling (I think it’s 6 feet), but it’s still way better than nothing, so maybe push for that if possible? The theory is we get some privacy, but the internal offices still get some natural light. Some of our other offices have no frosting and I hate them. I would probably put up pictures or something if we didn’t have frosting. Some of the attorneys who meet more regularly with clients in their office (the trust and estates attorneys, mainly) also expressed concern about client privacy, so if you’re an attorney, maybe try that angle.
Explorette
My office is a glass front with a strip of frosting. I really like it. Makes it feel larger and more open. I have my art and photos on the walls that are drywall.
Anon
I think it’s something you just get over. If this had been the setup from the very beginning, nobody would bat an eye.
Anonymous
Before I went on maternity leave, my office had this setup. Day-to-day it was fine; if I’d had to pump in there, I would have tried to get our office manager to install (or maybe let me install) a curtain over the glass portion. It turned out to be a moot point, though, because they moved offices while I was on leave, and the new place has solid walls with some glass panels (frosted to maybe 6″ high). I suppose a very tall person could technically see over if (s)he wanted, but functionally, my office feels sufficiently private for pumping.
While I expected to prefer the new, solid-wall setup, I find that I miss the glass: it was nice to be able to see, when stopping by an office with the door closed, whether the person inside was on the phone (and they could then motion to you to wait, come back later, whatever). Now, I knock on essentially a black box and have to sort of put my ear to the door to try to figure out if the person inside is saying “come in” or talking on the phone or whatever. This is not in any way a huge deal, but I wanted to offer a surprising (to me) upside to glass walls.
anon
Cat question –
My cat has diabetes and the vet has us giving the cat insulin shots twice a day and reduced her food to two cans of wet food a day. She used to eat a hefty amount of dry food 3-4 times a day. Now, she is constantly begging for food, mostly at night. Its been two weeks and I thought she would have adjusted by now but its been the same. We got her some diabetic-friendly dry food to supplement her two cans, but it hasn’t helped much. The good news is that she’s responding ell to the insulin and diet changes, her sugar levels are normal and her back legs are working better. Does anyone have experience with a diabetic cat?
Cat mom
I do! My cat has been diabetic for 10 years! I hate to tell you this but the begging for food never completely went away. We had to put up a child gate on our stairs and leave the kitty on the first floor at night or else he’d be demanding breakfast around 3 am instead of 7 am. He’s not demanding food all day or anything but he gets hungry prior to his meal time. Sometimes, he still has leftover food in the bowl so I think he’s just being a cat. What other questions do you have?
embees
I do – also gets insulin injected twice a day, eats primarily wet food (though he has access to kibble as we’re a multi-cat household). One of the effects of uncontrolled diabetes is ravenous hunger, so don’t necessarily gauge by what your cat was eating immediately prior to diagnosis. If your vet didn’t tell you *why* the two cans, I’d ask – is the vet trying to carefully calculate insulin effects, or get the cat to lose weight, or something else? Depending on specific brand/variety, 2 cans (3oz) each is roughly enough for a 6-7lb cat – if a healthy weight for your cat is higher, she’s probably legitimately hungry. Since she will eat canned food, you may be better off adding more canned food than kibble, just due to carb content & effect on blood sugar. Glad to hear she’s responding well!
Anonymous
None – just coming on to say good luck, sounds like she is doing pretty well! I do hear from friends that this is better understood and more easily controlled than in the past, and one friend’s cat actually went into remission after a (longish) period of successful treatment.
embees
longer reply waiting on approval – 2 cans is only enough food for a 6-7lb cat; if she is (or should be) bigger, it’s probably not enough. Talk to vet about why the restriction and coordinate change as it may affect dosages.
Anon
How big are the cans? My 11 lb cat eats one can (the ~6 oz ones) daily (half in the morning and half at night) and is happy.
embees
Anon at 12:21 – I assume your cat has access to free-feed kibble and/or gets treats, since that simply isn’t enough calories for an 11lb cat. For cats with diabetes, part of the treatment plan often includes reduction (or removal) of kibble and dry treats for carbohydrate-intake reasons – which means a corresponding increase in canned food. There’s often also structured meal times so you can give insulin appropriately to avoid hypoglycemia. (If you also have a cat with diabetes, apologies for explaining things you already know; it wasn’t clear from your comment, and since the OP is relatively-new to managing this disease I’m erring on the side of “more” rather than “less” info)
Anonymous
It will be my first Christmas celebrating with my dad and his new wife (my family will be staying at their place next week). What should I get her?! My dad and I usually forego gifts and instead take each other out to dinner. She seems nice but I haven’t spent much time with her. Thanks!
Anonymous
A fancy candle
anne-on
I’d say the suggestions people had for the new girlfriend earlier this week – nice consumables or small thoughtful gifts – a high end candle, a nice throw, tea or coffee basket, a few ornaments for their tree, fancy chocolates, hand creams, etc.
anon
Lean on your dad for her favorite consumable (chocolate, alcohol, cheese…?) and gift that!
anon
I plan on putting together a gift basket for my dad and his wife – wine, cheese, crackers, chocolate, nuts any other cute things I can find at whole foods.
Anon
If you don’t feel it intrudes on special time with your dad, what about including her in your no-gift-go-to-dinner-instead tradition? I think it would be a really nice gesture.
Anon
i just saw on linkedin that a classmate of mine from law school who i was friendly with, but haven’t spoken to since graduation just made partner in Big Law. i don’t actually work in law anymore, but is it weird for me to send her a congratulatory email? we were in a lot of study groups together in law school, but I’ve moved multiple times since then and didn’t really stay in touch.
Anon
So you haven’t spoken to this person in nearly a decade? It would be weird to send a congratulatory email, but I think a comment on the announcment on Linkedin is well placed. At the most an internal Linkedin message.
Anon
Not weird, you get a lot of congratulatory emails from acquaintances/old classmates when you hit a big career milestone like this.
Anonymous
Not weird at all.
AnonInfinity
I think it’s virtually never weird to reach out and congratulate someone on happy news, even if it’s been a long time since you’ve talked. I’ve done this myself and had it done for me, and it’s never been awkward or upsetting. Go for it!
Blueberries
I’m never going to be a biglaw partner, but I’d be delighted to get this kind of email from an old friend at a big career milestone.
Another anonymous judge
I think it would be lovely. Who doesn’t like to know there are kind people out in the world thinking well of them (the opposite of Elizabeth’s worries about Darcy in the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice)?
When I was appointed to the Bench I heard from many people with whom I had lost touch and I treasured each email and note.
Frankly, open any news website today and you will conclude we all need to work hard to put some positivity into this world.
Angela
Not weird at all! That’s literally why LinkedIn exists, to keep us all updated on each other’s careers and so we can stay in touch. That’s a huge accomplishment–congrats to your classmate!
anon
I’ve done this before, and people really appreciate it when I sent congratulatory messages. Go for it!
Interview Questions
What are your go-to interview questions when you’re the candidate? What do you look for if you’re the one hiring?
Anon
Candidate: I ask about what characteristics make someone succeed or fail in the position. I always ask why the position is open (some answers are red flags).
Go for it
+1 as candidate
As interviewer: I may/may not ask any questions. I look for “fit”and the candidates conversation and demeanor let me know if there is potential for it.
anonymous
Check out the interview guide on Ask A Manager.
candidate questions
As a candidate, I like to ask some subset of the following, depending on how relevant it is to the interviewer I’m speaking with:
How is the team perceived by other teams, and the company at large?
How do current employees describe the team, product, and company?
What does a good employee look like, and how do you measure success?
What do you seek to gain from whoever fills this role, and how will you work with the person?
What does day-to-day life look like, and what are the primary deliverables for this role?
How does this role fit with the larger vision of the company? How will this role grow with the company?
Caveat that I work in marketing, and currently in tech. Depending on the size and stage of the company, they have a wide range of ideas about what makes a good marketer, what skills a marketer should have, etc. Particularly in tech, marketing often struggles to have a seat at the table and is often viewed as a team that will “ya know, make it sound good” or “just make it pretty”. So, understanding the perception questions about the role and the team is helpful for me as a candidate. It’s also a red flag is everyone is overly positive or overly negative about the team/product/company. Like, most things have some pros and cons, and I want to work in a place that is capable of acknowledging the challenges, not just drinking the kool-aid that everything is amazing (and of course, if everyone hates everything, that’s a no-go!).
pet peeve
Dear radio DJs: “Hallelujah” is not a Christmas song. That is all.
Anon
Easter, Christmas, eh, something about Jesus… /s
Anon
That’s the Hallelujah Chorus (Easter, not Christmas song). I think she’s talking about Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Both are the Christmas version of singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ at a wedding.
anon
lol, love that comparison.
January
Right?? Ugh.
Angela
Seriously!! Thank you! It also bothers me that it’s on the Pentatonix Christmas album.
anon
Clutches pearls that those of us who don’t want to hear Christmas music might get a one-song break on the radio.
OP
This was on the “all-Christmas” station. I like the song and am sick of Christmas music, but it rankles me to hear it characterized as a Christmas song. It’s as if no one actually listened to the lyrics.
anon
Has anyone else read the NYT article about phone tracking? Curious if others here find it as disturbing as I do; but I’m also terribly curious is anyone on here works with that kind of data? My only knowledge is about it is what law enforcement can legally use, which is worlds away from the private commercial usage.
anon
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/12/19/opinion/location-tracking-cell-phone.html
Make sure you use a browser that will load the maps–Internet Explorer didn’t work for me, and the text alone didn’t give nearly the same impact.
anon
is there a reason you use the most insecure browser there is? Is IT forcing you?
anon
Yup! Our IT security experts obviously have a different opinion than you about which browser has the most problems.
Anonymous
It’s usually not so much differing opinions, IE is widely known and regarded as the worst, but version control/org policies that force use of standard (IE for Windows) browsers. I’m sure if you asked your IT security experts, they’d tell you IE is actually the worst for basically everything, and on top of that your org is probably running one that’s several versions behind.
anon
well then I’m sure this is not the stupidest thing IT makes you do, so I roll my eyes on your behalf.
Anon
I find it really disturbing and I’m actively looking for ways to reduce how much I am tracked. I don’t use store apps or enable Bluetooth in public, I don’t use “smart home” technology, I turn off geotracking as much as I can, and I don’t feel that it’s enough.
anon
Yeah, I think the only way to really not be tracked is to ditch your smartphone, unfortunately.
anon
Gifting Coworkers-
I recently relocated and started in a position a couple months ago and got a couple of gifts from coworkers – not my managers/supervisors. Gift cost was probably $10-20. We are on a tight budget because of moving, but now I’m feeling awkward about not giving a gift back. These were unexpected. I thanked the givers a lot, is it okay not to gift things back?? Normally I would try to reciprocate with homemade things but I am barely hanging on and don’t have the capacity to bake/handmake things tonight (we have next week off). I appreciate their generosity. Can I move on?
Senior Attorney
Yes, you may.
anon
Yes. Write a thank you card and be done.
Anon
I say yes you can move on. Reciprocating would firmly start the trend that you all do this every year, and that sounds (personally) like my nightmare.
anon coworker op
Thanks, all!
Anonymous
Ideas for a wedding gift for a work friend who got married a few months ago? I wasn’t invited to the wedding (nor would I expect to have been) but want to get something anyway, even though it’s late. Her registry seems to be turned off. Preferably under $50-$75.
Anonymous
Don’t bother at this point
anonchicago
We got a lot of picture frames from guests that were invited but didn’t (and couldn’t) attend. I think that’s a safe gift especially since she’ll have a lot of wedding photos to display.
Anon
I think it’s a kind thought, But I would have felt awkward receiving a gift in similar circumstances.
Anonymous
+1
Anokha
A bottle of champagne!
Anonymous
+1
Senior Attorney
This, or just skip it.
New coworker help
Worried about an upcoming job situation. A coworker from another department finally bullied her way into my department (she has been trying for multiple years). I think they just got exhausted and decided to give in. I don’t think she is going to be a very good fit for our department and cause lots of issues. She will technically be on the same level as me, but has no experience in this department or role.
Tips on managing? I kinda see this as her coming in like a bull in a china shop and trying to steal my work from me. I think my boss will just give in rather than manage her.
Flats Only
Are there parts of your job that you don’t like? Can you “graciously” hand them over to her as she’s looking for work? Otherwise just be glad you see this coming and can be ready to counter her maneuvering.
anon
No, I mostly like my job and I am hiring my own support staff for some of the lower level stuff I have been doing. I feel like she is going to want to encroach on those higher level responsibilities that I feel we will be able to handle once fully staffed. I think her end game is to leap ahead of me if the boss leaves for another job. She has mentioned wanting to learn and experience my job more, but I definitely won’t be offering that up at all and have good reason since I’ll have my new hires to handle it.
Both of you are right though…I just need to keep my staff and myself as closed as possible. I really think we can operate autonomously and can justify keeping our projects to ourselves without her assistance.
Anon
Normally, I’m an open book and share as much (work-related) information as I can with colleagues to maintain a supportive and collaborative work environment.
Don’t do that. Hoard information until you can understand her trustworthiness.
anon
I’m that way too, but I can feel it coming.
Laos Travel Recs
Ladies, you have the best travel recommendations! Any recommendations or advice for travelling to Laos solo?
I’m in my mid 30s, and will be travelling alone through Luang Prabang and Vientiane with a possible stop in Vang Vieng. (I’m all ears if anyone want to push me against or towards the last one) Restaurants, must see spots, activities, cautions, tips all welcome!
Anon
I have no recommendations but really want to do a similar trip! How long are you staying? It’s been a goal of mine for a while to do a solo international trip, and I’m debating Vietnam and Laos.
Laos Travel Recs
A week! I’m used to travelling solo although to a lesser extent in SE Asia. I’m a city person so Europe and East Asia (Korea, Japan, HK) were easy destinations.
anonchicago
I did a trip through Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos a few years at 29. Had been to Thailand a few years before.
To be honest with you, I loved Vietnam but hated Laos. The tourists seem to be mostly 18-25 year old American, British, and Australians who are looking to get high and drink a lot. The Laotians seem resigned to it though it’s not their culture. It’s fun if that’s your thing still, but I felt way too old. I stayed in hostels to meet people but most everyone was focused on how fast they were going to get drunk/high that day. I only visited Luang Prabang and left a day early because I couldn’t take it. I considered Vang Vieng and passed because I’d heard it was one massive party even though they’ve cleaned it up a lot in the last 5 years since several backpackers died from drinking too much then swimming or hitting their head on something.
If you have flexibility in your itinerary, I’d spend the time in Hanoi or Siem Reap instead.
BabyAssociate
No specifics, but a friend recently came back from an around the world trip and Laos was one of her absolute favorite countries. My mom is also headed there over solo this winter and found a bunch of different classes to take (e.g., cooking, weaving), sounds like it’ll be a great trip.
Anon
A day late, but in case you’re still checking…
I visited Luong Prabang on my bar trip in 2011 and it’s still one of my favorite place (of 50+ countries). I would love to go back and see more of the country. Agreed with the poster above that Vang Vieng is the party town and should be skipped unless you want to float down the river getting drunk with 23 year olds. For Luong Prabang, I spent several days hanging around the town, checking out the temples, monk ceremony, day spas, taking day trips to waterfalls and other nearby areas, visiting the markets (including a wonderful night market). I also did an overnight trek where we spent the night in a local village (set this up after I arrived, booked with a small local agency). I think that like any town that attracts backpackers, you need to be cognizant of the type of people you want to meet when picking hotels, activities, trek groups, etc. Pay a little bit more (it’s still pretty cheap!) to get a better trekking guide, nicer hotel (doesn’t need to be five star but stay away from the cheapest of the hostels). I was 30 at the time and ended up meeting and hanging out with a lot of other travelers around the same age.
A note on animals: I was comfortable with the elephant rescue that I visited outside LP, but as tourist sentiment on acceptable interactions with animals evolves, it’s important to be very aware of the true conditions of any animals that you pay to visit. Ask A LOT of questions in advance (especially if you get slick sell tactics). These interactions can be highly educational and provide resources for a true animal rescue or they can be seriously abusive.
Have a fabulous time!
busybee
Just got a year-end bonus- hooray! I had planned to use it to max out my Roth. However, our income is such that depending on what our interest earnings were this year, we may be over the limit to contribute. I didn’t realize that MAGI is more than just salary. Am I right to wait until I get my 1099 INT so I can be sure we’re not over the limit? This is my first married year and the first year my income is even close to the amount to be concerned about this. Sorry in advance if this is a really dumb question.
yes yes.
if you don’t want to wait – just backdoor it and save yourself any trouble.
dump $6000 in a brand new Traditional IRA then convert it to your existing Roth IRA. et voila. you’re done and funding your future.
(same thing happened to me after marriage and I underestimated exactly how much my husband made/bonused until we did our taxes! backdoor roths for me now.)
Anon
You can wait. You have until April 15, 2020 (or whenever the filing deadline will be) to contribute to your 2019 IRA.
anon
Yes, wait. You have until April 15th, 2020 to make the contribution for 2019, so as long as you’re not planning to file for an extension, there’s not much harm in waiting.
Grass is greener
I am a 2015 law school grad. Upon passing the bar, I took the first/only job I was offered: a JD-preferred compliance position. I’ve been in compliance since, although it has always been my hope to try and transition into a legal role. But I know that window is rapidly closing, if it’s not impossible. I see lots of people go from legal to compliance but the reverse seems to be very rare.
I just wanted to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and was able to make that transition.
Anon
I think this is one of the ugliest skirts I have EVER seen. EVER. Seriously. EVER.
Hard no.