This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
If you've been around long enough, you may remember when the idea of jeggings was a laughable late-night-TV ad. Then skinny jeans happened, and jeggings became much more common and acceptable. Still, the idea of sweatpant jeans is a little… offputting. They couldn't possibly be good, right? Everyone would know…
Well, the word on the street is that these sweatpant jeans are EXCELLENT — comfortable, stylish, and undetectable as sweatpants. However, they are priced accordingly: rag & bone offers a variety of “washes” and cuts for between $175-$225.
What say you, readers? Have you bought a pair of sweatpant jeans? Would you buy these rag & bone jeans?
I do like the look of the pictured jeans, $225 at Nordstrom, but check out rag & bone for the full selection. Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, and Saks also have pretty wide selections, and the pants are also available in limited styles through Rent the Runway's subscription service and on sale at Nordstrom Rack.
Other absurdly expensive but really comfortable pants: Spanx's Air Essentials wide-leg pants and the Vuori joggers.
Psst: stay tuned for an update on sales happening this weekend!
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Anon
The link to the jeans pictured isn’t working…
Anon
Hmm, they’re all working for me.
Anonymous
can anyone recommend affordable, very lightweight period panties? i got the bamboodies or whatever from amazon and they’re too heavy. no thinx, please, those are the only ones i have that i want to dropkick out the door. i’m bummed uniqlo stopped making theirs.
Anon
I like Knix!
Anonymous
Me too! I just tried them recently and am pleasantly surprised– will be buying more.
Anon
I love mine by the Period Company. I have both the athletic ones and regular and I love them both. V affordable, and the last couple years they have had a great 50% off Black Friday sale.
Anon
I just suggested the Period Co panties, but just realized that you asked for very lightweight ones. Maybe they offer lightweight ones, I don’t know!
Lydia
I like neione (also from Am*zon) — the ones I have are called “neione period underwear menstrual panties high cut cheeky bikini briefs women girls” (ha) but they are not heavy or bulky.
Anon
I need work out ideas. I don’t like working out, but I really need to. I’m not a fit person, I have a chronic condition that limits my ability to safely do certain things. I have a treadmill at home, but I find it boring and so don’t use it much. I need to find something that is doable with my current fitness level and my physical limitations (low impact, limited stretching) but still enjoyable, financially accessible, and not too time consuming. Anyone in a similar situation found a workout that works for you?
AIMS
Are you somewhere where you can just walk? This is my favorite low impact enjoyable exercise, not on a treadmill but outside.
Anon
Walking. All you need is decent shoes. I have a chronic illness that makes exercise difficult but I walk for at least 30 minutes every day, and most days longer. I have a few routes that I rotate through.
Anon
I walk a lot too. It’s basically all I can do at this point, but it has helped my fitness so much, and it’s also great for my mental health.
Anon
Coming back to this, at the beginning I often needed to fool myself into walking, so I would say “All I have to do is put my sneakers on and walk 5 minutes then I can quit.” Once I was out the door I most often walked longer. The mental benefits have become a driving force more so than the physical beneftits. I listen to true crime podcasts while walking, and every day I try to find one thing of beauty to make a special note of, sometimes I take a picture, sometimes I just really notice it — sunrise, a flower in a yard, a really pretty tree when the leaves are changing color, a deer, a cute dog.
Anon
To take walking up a notch make it rucking. It’s carrying extra weight in a backpack. You can get a relatively small back and still hold 30 lbs.
It’s a nice, low impact way to increase intensity and engage more muscles.
This is very popular in the Peter Attia circles that are really into longevity.
Anon
Very gentle yoga and leisurely walking are all my conditions allow, but I think they’re better than nothing.
Anonymous
Somehow I find using the elliptical less boring than treadmill even though they are quite similar. Because there is less impact, I’m able to read a book on my kindle or phone even if I’m working pretty hard. We got an elliptical handed down from a neighbor for free and it’s really helped me fit exercise in- I’m not in a place where walking at 9 pm is necessarily safe in the winter, or I can’t leave the house because little kids are home, but I can hop on the elliptical.
Anonymous
While you are building your fitness slowly over time, you might find something that will work to give you some variation from walking if you look for chair yoga and chair exercise on youtube. There are loads of videos meant for low impact, less moving, limited balance etc.
PolyD
A friend of mine bought one of those walking pad things (I think hers was right around or under $200) and walks on it when she gets home from work. It’s small enough to slide under the couch. And she motivates herself by watching a favorite show while walking!
Sunshine
With the caveat that I haven’t tried it yet, what about rebounding? The small trampolines aren’t expensive, and it looks kinda fun. There are YouTube classes to try, and you also could just watch a show. Part of the reason people like it is that it is low impact and the claim is that it’s fun.
Cat
Cycling, walking, walking pad for bad weather or inconvenient times!
Anonymous
i haaaate working out. i do well by gamifying it (if i get 3 workouts a week for 8 weeks i get a prize!), and by making a really easy habit. there’s a walking path near my kid’s school that is perfect so after i drop him off i park in the back and go for a walk. it only takes 25 minutes or so so it’s basically over before i know it.
i also think it’s helpful to tie it to a tv show or audiobook that is totally self-indulgent. a silly audiobook (romance, crime, thriller) or a show like Selling Sunset — the trick is to ONLY consume that media while you’re exercising.
Anon
+1
Bundle it with something pleasant that you want to do, like listening to a funny podcast or book. This gets me through the first few minutes of many workouts (and then I do enjoy it once I get started)!
Fallen
I like walking while chatting on the phone or listening to audiobooks! Time flies by.
Anon
Can you just dance? Put on some music you like and move at whatever intensity you’re up for. It’s fun, it makes you feel happy, and you can do it at any level from just a few minutes of mild movement to an hour of high intensity cardio.
Anon
Well, what do you find fun? Swimming, hiking, spin class, walking on a tread while watching a trashy tv show or listening to a podcast of your choice all seem like viable options.
Honestly, though, I’ve been out of shape, and the first month of progress often just isn’t fun. Chafing, joints adjusting to being used, actually getting the routine going, etc. But sticking with it does improve things, so I would pick something where fun is on the horizon and bribe yourself to build consistency. Like, can you pick up a latte after an early morning swim? That sort of thing.
Anonymous
There are several influencers on IG who are overweight or have limitations with great suggestions and encouragement
Anon
Do you have any specific recommendations?
Anonymous
My husband and I do a 15-60 minute walk nearly every day. If one of us can’t or doesn’t want to go, the other goes and listens to an audiobook. Sometimes we can even time it so we can listen in on a work call or recorded meeting.
Anonymous
Walking outside with a good playlist
Anon
I also have chronic rheumatologic disease and have to be gentle on joints and more.
Walking for aerobic, or very gentle elliptical. Biking doesn’t work for me.
Yoga. Find the right videos online that target folks with your needs/goals, or ideally, a class.
I listen to podcasts while walking, or a video while elliptical.
Yoga in a class is best for me.
Swimming is great, if you like it and have easy access. Not practical for me, and I hate it.
anon
I do workout videos on Fitness Blender. They have lots of free ones and their FB+ option is not too expensive. Their level 1 or 2 workouts are nice and gentle.
Anon
I like doing beginner routines from Muscle & Strength. Just small, handheld dumbbells and maybe a chair and a step nearby for some of the sets.
Anonymous
I found a trainer who is surprisingly inexpensive for a trainer ($35/30 min session, 1:1) and I go once a week. It is not free. I was very clear with her up front that although I know I will be somewhat sore if I am miserably sore I will not come back. This plus walking over my lunch while not emailing and usually forcing myself to pay attention to my surroundings/outdoors has helped me become so much healthier. I eat better. That has changed my pounds but I needed to move to feel better and change what I ate. My trainer says it’s 90% food and 10% movement. For me this 10% helps me make much better food choices.
Anon
What have you read, listened to or watched recently that changed your life?
NYNY
I recently saw the film Small Town Wisconsin and I keep finding myself thinking about it. The story is pretty straightforward – a divorced man who drinks too much is losing custody of his kid – but the performances and production are so quiet and true that it never feels like a cliche. Totally worth seeking out.
Anon
Two non-fiction books – Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier and and Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting by Amy Tuteur (warning: the latter devolves into a bit of a rant in the second half). Both changed the way I think about mental health care and childbirth in this country and changed my plans for parenting.
Anon
Bad Therapy was terrible. I keep seeing it recommended here, but it is an unscientific conservative diatribe.
Anon
I hated that book too and I actually agree with the central thesis that too many kids have a diagnosis and are in therapy! But the author cannot keep her right wing politics out of it (like she brings up totally irrelevant anti-trns stuff, and I say that as someone who has been called a you know what here for saying I have reservations about kids who were born male in girls sports!) and even beyond politics some of her arguments are really unreasonable. Like she gets upset about doctors wanting to ask teens about mental health without their parents present. That seems normal and good to me.
Anon
Exactly
Anon
“Hate” is a strong word for a book where you disagreed with some parts but agreed with the overall premise. AFAIK, no one else is even talking about how unethical it is for teachers to serve in dual roles as instructors and therapists.
Cass
The Cass Review issued by Hilary Cass of the UK’s NHS.
Anon
+1000. We’re at a turning point now.
Shelle
Big thanks to the commenter who recommended Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. It was thought provoking and I’m working to apply the lessons to my life. For example, not having goals for everything in our lives including our recreation, and how revolutionary it is to just take a leisurely hike with no milestones where you end up at the same spot you started from!
anon
Oooh, this sounds like a great read. I am growing weary of goal-setting and striving.
BookAnon
A Framework for Understanding Poverty and Miranda July’s novel All Fours. Very different books, but both have changed my worldview.
Anon
I’m not ready to go that wide legged on my denim yet. I’m sure I’ll get there just when the trend is ready to change. I did recently get the High Rise 90s Relaxed Jean from Abercrombie & Fitch, which I love and is about as wide as I’m willing to go.
Anonymous
I saw these on someone at a party and they looked so great I asked her for the info!! Unfortunately they did not look as good on me, but it was a nice dream while it lasted.
anon
This is my problem. It takes me so long to warm up to trends that by the time I get around to jumping in, I already feel behind.
I think I am just not a trendy person. I don’t know how to try this stuff out and get used to a silhouette without acquiring a lot of stuff I won’t like in the long run. Looking at you, cropped flare jeans.
Anon
Who are some organization influencers that you follow?
Anonymous
i don’t know if it counts as organization but i really like imperfect inspiration for adhd-task organization type stuff.
Anonny
Cas at ClutterBug is my favorite. She is relatable and understands that there are many different organization styles.
Anonymous
My two best friends are in crisis right now (divorce & eviction respectively) and I’m so alone. I am being supportive, dropping off food, packing, painting etc. But I really feel like I can’t tell either of them about my bad stuff.
Anon
Commiseration. My three besties and I all have sudden and unexpected family crises going on at the same time. Normally we would be each other’s support system but that isn’t working out for us right now. I know it’s hard for you, and you are being a super good friend to help them out.
ranoma
Are you sure? sharing with them may actually help them, be a distraction from their own problems and let them feel less alone. Friendships go both ways.
Anon
+1 – I have gone through hard times (infertility/loss), and friends giving me the opportunity to care for them actually really helped me feel useful and still human.
Anon
+1 Agree with this.
But you have to be sensitive. If you are stressed because you didn’t get your raise, and now don’t have enough for a vacation this year/less savings etc… you can’t vent to your friend about to become homeless. There has to be some sensitivity.
Anon
Depends on the friend I guess. Last week’s family cancer-related poster, for instance, would absolutely not be the place to go for this kind of thing.
OP, you know your friends better than Internet strangers do, so if you’re feeling like they’re too much in crisis to be your supports during this period, I’d go with your instincts.
Anon
Another thought, maybe this is a good use for those therapy services like Better Help. Someone you can pay to listen to your bad things right now while your friends get back into a space where they can be your support system again.
Roxie
Do you have other friends dad or a therapist to vent to?
Also eviction is way more urgent than divorce. Adjust your support accordingly.
OP
I do have a therapist but I’m not paying to just vent about my dumb problems, this isn’t really the type of stuff that needs to be ‘worked through’. To be clear the friend being evicted isn’t being evicted because they are having financial difficulties, it’s because her roommate/other friend stole their rent payments. Which is a whole thing because I already had issues with the rent stealer before this incident and I’m extra mad to be cleaning up this mess.
AIMS
The Bergdorf sale has some really amazing stuff, but sadly it’s all final sale. This is the one thing I really hate about online shopping — I don’t mind not being able to return stuff at a discount if I can try it on first but a gorgeous designer blazer at $176 dollars that does not fit as expected when purchased online is a lot of money down the drain…. I think under $75 is probably my gambling-shopping comfort zone.
Seventh Sister
The only thing I end up buying in that scenario is (usually) a replacement for something I already own, like a Rag & Bone tee.
Anon
I always regret buying anything that I bought just because it was a great deal. Don’t do it.
Anonymous
Anyone else thinking of new year resolutions? I work on the academic calendar and always try to harness the back to school energy. I’m going to try for:
-all dishes cleaned by the end of the day, every day
– hair down and makeup on for work at least once a week (because it makes me feel pretty)
– a walk on every work from home day
Anonymous
I’m on the academic calendar too, so back to school time is my new year as well. I’m looking to add weights to my fitness routine this year and keep a gratitude journal
Anon
I’ve been thinking about this recently! I’ve been trying to wake up earlier and get in 5-10 minutes of meditation.
Pep
Ha, yes! I work in government procurement and October 1 is the beginning of FY 2025. Lots of work related resolutions.
anon
DH is a courtroom lawyer, who spends probably a minimum of 30 hrs a week (often more) physically in a room with judge or jury. I usually cope pretty well with his unavailability, but I’m 34 weeks pregnant, ie. due in early October. Yesterday I had to go into the hospital unexpectedly for a few hours, and I couldn’t get ahold of him at all. No guarantees how things will go when the baby actually arrives, of course.
Any advice? How are we “supposed” to deal with this?
Anonymous
do court rules prohibit him from having a cell phone or laptop with him? if not i would ask him to check his cell phone at least once every two hours.
if he can’t, i would say the answer is to make friends with his secretary, paralegal, or maybe the court clerk who you could message if you’re on the way to the hospital — someone who can tell him in person what’s happening.
Anon
Agreed. I would put the court clerk’s number in my contacts and call and ask them to pass him a note. Very 1972, but potentially the least disruptive way to get in touch with someone actively engaged in a case in the courtroom.
AIMS
I spend a similar amount of time in the courtroom frequently and I can usually check my messages via Apple Watch. I think you could make a pact that you will only text him for an emergency during that time and he can make a point of actually checking your messages during the day at reasonably regular intervals.
A
If he absolutely can’t have his phone in the courtroom can he arrange with the clerk of the court that you can call in case of an emergency?
Senior Attorney
I can’t imagine any court not agreeing to this.
Anon
I was in a similar boat. Have a neighbor or a friend be “on call,” if you can, so that this isn’t a stressful point for you. If your husbands in court, then call your on-call friend and have them take you to the hospital and then they can get in touch with your husband for you.
Good luck. It’ll be okay.
Senior Attorney
I think this is probably the best option, along with the suggestions above about calling the court directly.
I can commiserate — 37 years ago, when I was in your shoes, there were no cell phones and it was completely normal for people to be completely unreachable. My then-husband was working in a brand new building (he was a teacher and it was a new school) and the phone service wasn’t hooked up there yet, so we arranged I’d call a friend of his at another school, who could drive over and notify him if anything happened during school hours.
Anonymous
My dad was on a train into work when my mom went into labor with my sister. He got all the way to the office, got a message from his admin that my mom was on the way to the hospital, walked back to the train station, got the next train home, and made it to the hospital with about 50 minutes to spare.
Anon
This is what we did! (Husband doing procedures in an OR ). We had first and second string family members on call to bring me to the hospital, and to take care of our older kid. Our daycare and a couple sets of other daycare parents also knew his work situation / my pregnancy timing, so that they could step in if suddenly I was MIA during that high probability timing and they couldn’t reach him. Also I don’t mean to be dramatic, but both of my deliveries were fast… by the time I knew I was in labor it was time to go, so spending time trying to get a hold of him wouldn’t have been great.
Anon
My situation isn’t that extreme but my husband is a professor who can’t be checking his phone in class. I had a doctor’s appt at 40+3, which in hindsight we should have scheduled around his classes, but we didn’t and after a non-stress test at that apppointment they decided to induce immediately. They really freaked me out and basically told me the baby had to get out ASAP or she would die (which was obviously not true – if that were the case they would have rushed me to the OR for an emergency C, not started an induction that took ~12 hours, but I was hormonal and promptly burst into tears). Anyway I couldn’t reach him for about 3 hours and it sucked. But I survived and you will too. He was there for the actual birth. First births rarely happen fast. Mine was 12 hours beginning to end and that’s pretty fast for a first time mom.
Anon
I can’t imagine a scenario in which a professor with a 40+3 pregnant wife can’t have his phone on him in class…
Anon
My experience is with a SCIF and not a courtroom, but can you be in touch with a colleague or a secretary who couid notify him?
Anon
If he practices in the same court regularly, he likely should be able to quietly inform the court’s clerk of the situation, and they may have recommendations (either for him to check his messages every two hours during a break or, if the court does not permit phones, for you to call the clerk if there is an emergency). But at this point, he also needs to have a second chair with him who can take over if he needs to exit mid-trial / mid-hearing.
Anon
I practice in a rural county where everyone knows everyone and pretty much all of our cases are before the same handful of judges, so attorneys from large cities may not agree with the talk to the clerk advice. But I think everyone would agree that he needs a fully prepared second chair, especially if he’s doing trials (as opposed to hearings).
Anon
I’m hesitant to give this advice, because it’s so personal and your doctor would know best: do you have any desire for an induction?
I was of “advanced maternal age,” so I got induced at week 39, which is statistically safer than waiting for 40+. That meant that my husband, a professor, knew which days he would be out of class.
Unpopular opinion: people act like it’s somehow better to give birth at a time that isn’t convenient for your doctor or whomever. “Babies come when they come!” I enjoyed giving birth in the middle of the day, when the hospital had a full staff (not a skeleton crew or the night shift), my doctor was bright eyed and bushy tailed, and my husband was right there.
Anon
I loved my 39 week induction with my first and happily scheduled one with my second- and he arrived at 38 weeks.
Anon
I mean, I agree with you that inductions are great, but my induction (medically necessary, also at 39 weeks) was 56 hours long, and that is not significantly outside the realm of normal for a first time mom. I think the time you enter the hospital and the time the baby exits your body remains up to the baby in all circumstances that don’t involve c-sections (and in some circumstances that do).
Anon
Exactly, I don’t know exactly how long but my induction took more than 24 hours. Enough that my husband who had a cold could go back home, sleep it off, and feel much better by the time baby made her entrance the evening of the next day. This was my second.
Seventh Sister
It’s possible that he may not get there in time, though the conventional wisdom is that things don’t happen that fast with the first baby. And that’s OK. To be perfectly frank, my husband is a lovely wonderful spouse and a great father. But he’s not the best support person in a healthcare setting. It was great he got to be there, but I would have been OK if he hadn’t been there for the actual birth.
Anonymous
what food do you eat when nothing sounds appealing?
Anonymous
Toast. Or if nothing is appealing cause you’re on wegovy, try cottage cheese
Anon
+1
I always have my favorite spread, which for me is goat cheese with a drizzle of olive oil, and I cut some fresh tomatoes on top or smoked salmon (I keep small amounts frozen in my freezer). I always have good bread frozen pre-cut in slices, like whole wheat sourdough from the local baker. I drink Fairlife milk with it to get 15g of extra protein.
Anon
If truly nothing sounds good, then I go with nutrition — a piece of fruit, veggies and hummus, maybe popcorn. At least it’ll be somewhat healthy that way.
AIMS
+1
Anon
Eggos with lots of butter. I ate them constantly when I was pregnant and low key nauseated a lot of the time. Surprisingly I still like them.
Anon
Cereal
Anon
Peanut butter toast or cereal
Anonymous
For me it’s more like when I don’t want to bother making anything for dinner so I’d rather just skip dinner. Then I have cereal and will usually follow that up with a handful of nuts or a tablespoon of peanut butter so I felt like I got something nutritious. Or cheese quesadillas – as in put tortillas in the oven throw shredded cheese on top and toast until melted, adding in a few spoons of jarred salsa if I have it.
anonshmanon
fancy fruit – raspberries, mangoes…
anon
Apple and nuts.
Anon
Smoothie with chocolate or vanilla protein powder, soy milk, water, ice, frozen banana chunks, and a spoonful of peanut butter.
Anon
Cottage cheese, diced tomatoes, salt & pepper, olive oil. Basil if I have it
Soft scrambled eggs on sourdough
Rice or risotto
A cup of tea with sugar and milk and a couple of basic tea biscuits
But honestly, dove dark chocolates with almonds, individually wrapped ones
Anonymous
If I genuinely don’t want anything and just need something to give some sort of energy, I get bland, salty carbs like salty crackers and coca cola. This is a sick food thing for me, but sometimes that’s all I can handle, especially with the flue or high fever.
Anonymous
eggs & cheese – omelet, sandwich, bagel, whatever
Anon
I find the colorway on these jeans dated and grungey, but love the leg width.
Anonymous
really? they look trendy to me. which washes do you prefer right now?
Anonymous
What is one thing you have in your office that you really enjoy? It can be anything – piece of art, lamp, certain pens, desktop organizer. However, I don’t want anything overly personal.
I have a “home office” in the branch that I primarily work out of, but I spend on average two days per week in another office. I have a new office there. It is to be shared with other visiting attorneys, but it is considered my office when I work there and filled with my files for upcoming appointments and books. I’m not planning to put anything personal, but I just want a few items that will make it feel more comfortable.
anon
When I had a cubicle, I had a small bulletin board with post cards I’d coliform traveling. Sometimes they would be small art prints from museums I had visited.
Anonymous
i have an old stool under my desk — none of the footrests i’ve bought specifically for that purpose compare to my old ikea stool.
Anon
Tiny little globe that a child victim bought for me as a thank you. I always like to see it and some days it keeps me going.
Anan
I really like having a wall calendar in my cubicle.
Anon
Some deal to bricks remind of what a badass I’m capable of being during high stress times.
Anon
Ps for anyone not working in M&A – they are custom trophy type things to commemorate the closing of major deals, usually given just to the inner team who worked their asses off to get the transaction closed.
https://awardmaven.com/product-category/awards/crystal-awards/
eggplant
Any advice dealing with receiving edits from others? I’m responsible for taking projects over the finish line, considering feedback from my supervisors and other business units in our company. Some people treat it as a formality. Some people will send back extensive redlines without picking up the phone and asking why particular choices were made. Some of my direct supervisors don’t realistically have time to discuss projects beforehand even if I try, but then they’ll send me markups that I don’t think align with our goals.
I think I’m someone who is very receptive to feedback and I always pick my battles carefully. But I also trust myself enough to know that some of what I’m receiving is not really constructive, and it’s seriously eroding my confidence to try and make others happy. How have others dealt with this?
Anonymous
Yeah ya gotta dial back the ownership. Edits are part of the process
eggplant
You have no clue how much I wish that I could. :( I didn’t have this problem until I was promoted earlier this year. I’m responsible for these projects, and I’m the one who is going to get called on to defend how things were done.
Anon
Are they ever going to look at it again after they send it to you? Take what you need from their edits and leave the rest and they’ll probably never even know.
Anonymous
A quick way to get fired
anon
And when something blows up and they have the draft to show they raised the concern and it was ignored? Bad things will happen to you. I should know, I have had to pull the draft out of my Sent Folder in Outlook a couple times.
Anon
Okay, I was thinking more along the lines of style suggestions, geez. If you work somewhere where ignoring somebody’s preferred comma usage gets you fired, I am very sorry.
anon
Oh, no, I’m talking mistakes that cost money. If it’s just style changes, then I like Anon at 3:31’s script. But most of my edits are things that have a direct monetary consequence.
Anon
I do this all the time. Sorry, I’m not introducing a grammatical error or a massive violation of the style guide to protect senior egos. I assume they WANT me to catch that stuff. Haven’t been fired yet.
Anon
Do you have to make others happy? I’m in a line work that is filled with such editing, and I take what makes sense and helps and tosses the rest. You have to be receptive to feedback (which you said you are), so if that’s true, you can trust yourself to pick and choose what makes sense.
eggplant
Sometimes I feel that I have to demonstrate that I’m willing to work with others, but it is true that I could push the line more to where I think I should be. I’m technically responsible for these projects, and so I’m the one who is going to get in trouble if something doesn’t go right. I’ve been in situations before when a higher-higher-up objected to something that my supervisor had asked me to include, and he kind of left me hanging instead of explaining why it was done that way.
Anon
“Thanks so much for these very helpful edits. I have revised the document with them in mind, and I will send out the document this afternoon at 4. If you have additional suggestions before then, please call me so we can discuss them.”
Then you can either explain your choices or leave them as-is, since it’s unlikely that someone will call you unless there’s something really vital.
Lexi
This. Take what makes sense and toss the rest.
Anon
Define whether their edits are mandatory (because they are superior to you on the chain, or because their department has final say on these things), or optional (because they are people who worked on the project and might have reputational exposure). Respond accordingly. Remove the ego piece entirely — many people in business are failed English majors for whom redlining documents is the only source of joy in their day.
Sample script: Marybeth, thank you for the edits. I incorporated many of them. Some ran contrary to input we’ve received from [more important stakeholders], and I omitted those. A current version, with a redline reflecting your changes and the changes of the other stakeholders, is attached. Please call if you have concerns; otherwise, this version will go out at 5 PM.
Anon
This is the way.
Lexi
Yup
coffee
If you’ve reached the document stage of the process then you should have had multiple alignment meetings/drop in calls with your stakeholders by then and have shared a clear outline of what choices have been agreed on with the group. If this hasn’t happened then every stakeholder has a right to send their edit through.
Anonymous
I would figure out who is the person with final ownership for each project, hopefully a sponsor or a boss. For the other higher ups, I would make sure to understand their feedback, possibly engage them by messenger or a quick meeting depending on the person, then funnel feedback on major points back to the project sponsor to make final calls on.
Depending on how formal your organization is, you may be able to get away with starting group chats to discuss the major edits, especially when time sensitive. Ideally you let people feel heard on their edits and there is a good look at multiple sides for major questions. If people can’t decide, then the sponsor is the tiebreaker.
anon
Man, I’m glad it’s a holiday weekend, because i need it. But also, I have a bunch projects that need to be wrapped up by Tuesday morning, and realistically, I’m not going to get it done unless I put in a couple of hours this weekend. My brain is absolutely fried.
AnonAnon
What are some trends for fall? As an aside, I bought the September edition of Vogue and it was so boring. Made me miss the fashion mag heyday. Bonus for any Instagram/bl*g fashion sites you like.
Anon
Can’t comment on shapes, but in terms of colors, rich teal, burgundy/oxblood, plum, and camel are being shown a lot.
Anon
Oh…. love it
AIMS
I was traveling last week and could not find anything I wanted to read at the newsstand! As for trends, I think rich fall colors are really having a moment, and Mary Jane flats are still going very strong.
Anonymous
i am trying to Do The Hard Things. like see if my insurance will cover my kid’s therapy (for whcih they don’t take insurance) and fill out kid-related forms and other super boring stuff. my eyes are crossing already.
i got one big thing done at least so far…
Anon
One big thing is a big deal — well done!
Lexi
One big thing is a big deal — well done!
Anonymous
dumb question re Windows 11 – what email address do you have tied to your computer? and is there any way to be like NO I NEVER WANT TO SAVE TO ONE DRIVE I WANT TO SAVE TO MY OWN HARD DRIVE HERE ON THIS COMPUTER.
my “microsoft address” is the same one i use for spam/junk/please don’t contact me. my gmail address is my main one. but should i just set up a new account that is only for this purpose? (and can i even do that if i’ve purchased microsoft products like Office via this email address?)
i just feel like maybe i shouldn’t tie my computer and all of the important files to my spam email address?
Anon
I accidentally clicked yes to the one drive thing once when I was in a hurry and it’s actually quite hard to get your files back. Eff Microsoft.
Anonymous
I used my “real” email address. They never send me anything.
Anonymous
Has anyone gotten like 200 emails from listserve or companies thanking you for signing up with them when you didn’t? Thinking I need to sign up for identity theft protection and change every password asap. Thanks.
Pompom
Change passwords and payment methods for online stuff. Google spam bombing. Comb the all the spam to see if there’s legit stuff about changing access; that’s the goal of spam bombing.
Happened to me once 2 years ago, just as my mortgage was going into underwriting. It was a total pain in the arse.
AIMS
Yeah, this is a common way to get you to ignore some major emails that you do need to pay attention to (in our case, fraudulent Apple purchases).
Anon for this
Kind of a weird vent, but here goes…
I did my undergrad with a girl I knew in high school. In high school, she was a bit of a b*tch. In undergrad, she and a few other girls were quite cliquey, but easy enough to avoid. She graduated a year or two after me, but I completed a MSc and we ended up starting at the same pharma company almost exactly at the same time (I was mostly in one lab and she was client-facing so there was minimal interaction). Fast-forward 15 years, I am an academic and she is still at the pharma company.
I ran into her on Friday when I had off-campus meetings. I thought I looked cute that day (dress in an offbeat print, cropped blazer, loafers). She was dressed to the nines, in heels (while pregnant), with her hair blown out and perfect makeup. Suddenly I felt like I was in high school again. I have been struggling with my self-image since.
Has this ever happened to anyone?
Anonymous
Unfortunately it’s a cruel truth that highschool bullies rarely get what’s coming to them and often use their bullying to climb the corporate ladder.
Anon
She chose a client facing job, with all the pressures to always appear pulled together, perfectly coiffed, makeup, etc. You chose the academic path, which lets you express your personal style within limit, without as much pressure for your appearance to tie directly to your professional success. In my eyes, you have the better deal and should be feeling great about all the decisions and all the work that led you to where you are today. Don’t let Middle School You get in your head–you look great.
anon
Love this.
Lexi
Love this.
Anonymous
When I feel envious, I ask myself if I would take a chance on swapping my life with an randomly chosen person on earth. The answer is alway no. I am better off than most people in the world.
Seventh Sister
Kind of – I ran into the stepfather of my high school boyfriend when we happened to be staying at the same small hotel in a remote area (small world indeed). It was at the pool after a day of hiking. I’m a pretty regular-looking middle-aged mom who vaguely resembles the girl who used to hang around this guy’s house in the 90s. It was both sweet and super awkward to catch up (there’s a lot of backstory the stepfather doesn’t know about).
High school boyfriend is kind of a hot shot in academia – not a household name, but definitely A Big Deal in his corner of the humanities. This is exactly what he wanted to do with his life from about the age of 12. I was much less focused and honestly, kind of an emotional wreck in high school. While I’m a well-paid professional with a good job, I’m never going to be Alum of the Year at my alma mater or get the key to a city. It did sort of shake me up a bit, but there’s lots about my life I like (or love) and everyone has their troubles.
Anonymous
Any trip to LA does that to me.
Liz
I love a bath at the end of a long day. I would love to know your favorite bath bomb, scrub, or any bath accessory that you recommend?
AIMS
Kneipp bath products. Pick what appeals to you – they’re all great. Right now I’m really into ‘the Forrest ritual’.
Anonymous
Lush smell great but always give me a uti. Always..sigh.
nuqotw
I got lavender vanilla scented body wash / bubble bath from the Body Shop (or maybe Bath and Body Works?) years ago and I love hiding with my head in the bubbles. I don’t get to do it often enough but you are inspiring me!
Anonymous
My favourite bath accessory is a sheet mask to keep my face cool. And a movie or tv-show.