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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Ruffle-Sleeve Crepe Top

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A woman with long black hair wearing a green long-sleeved shirt with black pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

If you’re looking to refresh your office tops, the collection of CeCe tops at Nordstrom is a great place to start. I’m seeing loads of great options in the under-$100 range, including this gorgeous ruffled top in “alpine green.” If you’d prefer a print, this floral top has a moody floral for winter.

All of these would make great weekend options, too — just swap out the skirts and trousers for jeans and a long cardigan.

The top is $79 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 1X–3X and XS–XL.

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Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

308 Comments

  1. I feel like we heard a lot about double masking back when it seemed like we’d need more protection but I never saw people doing that (outside of healthcare) and then #s got better. I’m thinking that this may be when I break into my KN-95 stash, which I understand you can wear multiple times and can double mask to extend their lives. Double mask with . . . cloth? Blue exam masks? Just KN-95 solo?

    1. I think if you have a well fitting KN95 you don’t need to double mask? But I am double masking for todays long train journey with a cloth mask and a surgical mask since I haven’t been able to get any of the more protective masks.

    2. Are you high risk? Doing highly risky things? If not, just get your booster and stay out of crowded places. When you go to the grocery store, wear a mask, keep distance from the people around you, and wash your hands.

      If you are high risk and/or unvaccinated, just hunker down for a while. Masks won’t save you (but they help!).

      1. Some of us are fully (3x) vaccinated, but work where we know there are people not getting vaxxed who are living a risky lifestyle. I can’t control that, so I’m upping my mask game since there isn’t much left that I can do.

    4. I double mask with a KN95 and a cloth mask. I don’t know if it works better or not, but here’s to hoping!

    6. Wear one good mask, not two bad ones. Double masking was suggested so that people could wear a tight fitting cloth mask over a loose surgical mask, but that was always a dumb idea. It’s much better to wear a KN95/N95. I think the only times it makes sense to double mask are when you can’t get a good mask, you want a nice looking cloth mask on top of a ugly N95, or if you’re doing something messy and want to preserve the life of the N95 by protecting it with another mask. I’ve been wearing KN95s for the last year, but I WFH, so it’s just for occasional short trips to the store or doctor’s appointments, so I can wear them a couple dozen times each and they still seal well, fit tightly, and I can’t smell anything except my own breath, so it seems like they’re working well (I don’t wear make up under them or do anything sweaty or messy, so they also look clean).

      1. I’ve always had a stash of KN-95s that I was keeping for special occasions (sudden need to fly or visit a hospital). I am thinking that the NYC omicron situation means that the special occasion is now. Blergh. For a moment (late June; Halloween), it seemed like they’d just sit in a box, unopened. Crossing my fingers that this is just a nuisance level disease in vaccinated people.

    7. I just wear a KN95. But remember eye protection. If you wear glasses that’s probably enough. If you don’t, I’d consider a face shield or goggles as well, dorky as it looks.

      1. Thanks to presbyopia, I am now to the point of needing glasses in the grocery store. I guess it’s a feature not a bug.

    8. The risk with double-masking with N95/KN95 masks is disrupting the seal against your face — the filtration can only do its job if all the air passes through it, so if air is getting in around the sides, it’s not being filtered. You are totally fine just wearing a high-filtration mask on its own. But: if you double mask, always put the second mask ON TOP of the “good” mask, not below — you want the good mask to seal directly to your face. And don’t pull the top mask so tight that it presses on the (K)N95 and disrupts the seal against your skin. General consensus is that you can re-use (k)N95s for about 40 hours of wear — I definitely reuse my N95s when I’m just wearing them a couple hours a day for commuting, errands, etc.

    9. I do not work in a health care setting and I have double-masked from the early days when it was first suggested. Our office remained in person the whole time and I am the only one in the building who has not had covid. I don’t know that the double masking was the reason that I did not get it but I am certainly not going to change my masking. I use a KN-95 with a surgical mask as the second/outer layer. It can be hard to have long conversations but you get used to it.

      1. I’m aghast that your office remained in person during a pandemic and that all but one person in the building caught COVID.

        I’m going to keep masking during cold/flu season forever; it’s worth it as compared to catching every single thing that goes around constantly.

        1. I work in an essential government service and we could not shut down or effectively be remote — thus office the whole time.

    10. There are a few rationales for double-masking. Covering an N-95 with a surgical mask was a way for healthcare workers to preserve the N-95 longer when we had PPE shortages. It didn’t make the N-95 more effective, just kept it cleaner so it could be reused, even though proper PPE protocol is a fresh N-95 for each encounter. If you have access to high quality masks, you don’t need to double mask. I generally wear mine for the equivalent of 2 full (8-10 hour) days and then discard. I air them out in between and toss earlier if they get wet or visibly dirty.

      Doubling up on lower-quality masks – cloth or surgical masks – can do a few things. If the top mask is closer-fitting, it can help close any gaps that make your mask less effective. And in the early pandemic, many people were making do with homemade cloth masks that didn’t provide great filtration, so doubling up added more protection. If all you have are cloth masks, especially single-layer ones, it’s a good idea to double mask in crowded and/or indoor situations.

      1. I think that many ON ones re triple-layer. These still seem decent to me. My kids at least wear them covering their nose, which is more than I can say for many adults.

    11. I work in higher ed and my university requires KN-95s for the classroom and lab, FWIW.

    12. I’m super cautious and I’ve been perfectly comfortable wearing a single mask as long as it’s a Kf-94 or better. I bought mine on masklab dot us, recommended here.

      I was for a while going to physical therapy every week, and at the door they made me take off my KF-94 and put on one of their blue surgical masks, which I found kind of funny as my mask was better, but I guess they can’t be in the business of judging the efficacy of others’ masks.

      I wear my masks until they’re dirty or until I think I’ve worn them a total of about 8 hours.

    14. I have some of those masks, but cannot figure out weather to get the kind of a mask some people have that look more like a muzzle. I think I could breath easier if there was a muzzle up front which holds more air. Does anyone know where I can get a muzzle mask?

    15. A single mask, a vaccine, and a booster is plenty sufficient unless you are high risk or actively caring for someone who is.

      1. I would add eyeglasses.

        Breakthrough infections can be pretty miserable even in the low risk (or maybe people who were higher risk than they knew? who is at high risk for long COVID seems harder to predict than who is at high risk for hospitalization).

  2. An opportunity for a leadership/management training program came across my desk. I’d LOVE to be chosen. My credentials are solid according to what they’re looking for and my boss is supportive. They’ve provided “pre work” which includes developing action plans for improvement. I have some ideas for my department but I’m nervous because I have exactly zero business background. I was a liberal arts major who went straight to law school. Is there a recommend book with a basic framework that I can read? How do I rock this? Thanks in advance for any direction.

    1. Perhaps not directly helpful but worth considering Matthew Syed’s Rebel Ideas. People with traditional business training are usually incredibly bright and well-educated but if they make up the whole room, they have huge gaps in their knowledge. Your liberal arts/law background is an asset, not a hindrance.
      (Signed, a political science major in a profession full of actuaries)

    2. In the leadership program I participated in we got copies of The Fast-Forward MBA. Not sure if it’s still in print, it was quite a while ago, but I think you’ll find lots of similar books at a bookstore or library.

    3. I was like you. No busness classes or expereince. But when I joined my firm, the manageing partner said to me that I could go far here if I worked hard, and all I did was law. Now that he wants me to become the manageing partner when he retires, I have started to watch the busness aspects of our partner meetings, and am thinking what is best for the firm.

      I’ve already been given kudo’s by the partners for my idea to get food deliveries from another vendor, who charges less, and to give our cleints a cookie of the month box delivery which costs only $49.95 + tax for 12 deliveries in 2022. That will save us alot of money b/c we’ve been sending them $159.95 +tax chocolate and fruit baskets from a very exclusive vendor.

      You can do the same. Just think up your ideas and put them in writing, and you should be viewed as management material and can take the course then! YAY!!!

    4. There are accounting for lawyers CLEs, that teach how to read a balance sheet.

  3. Someone recently asked about cord management and I wanted to share my two new favorite finds. First, cord baskets – they screw onto the desk or you can use included clamps so there isn’t permanent damage. I bought a pack of two on Amazon for twenty bucks, one holds the majority of my cord piles and the other holds my calculator/tape/stapler.

    I also bought a modesty panel with a mesh pocket you can stuff cords in. I wanted something less for “modesty” and more so I stop kicking cords.

  4. l have a CIPP but only about 10% of my work is in that field. I’d like to expand and even willing to switch jobs. Are there any legal privacy groups that would welcome a newbie, or networking opportunities that are any good in the pandemic? Am I better off just emailing and cold calling people?

    1. Honestly, with the CIPP I would just apply for jobs you are interested in. So many companies need privacy help right now.

    2. Check out your local chapter of IAPP. My chapter in Denver is very active and its a great way to learn more and meet new people

    3. Agree with local chapter of IAPP. When we do in-person again, go to their happy hours and events. Also check out WISP = Women in Security and Privacy. Now is a great time to pivot to full time privacy. It’s a hot job market!

  5. I am terrified my boyfriend is going to propose the next couple weeks. I’m not ready to say yes. Is there a way I can talk to him about this without forcing a break up?

    1. Unless you’re very young (like still in college), if the thought of him proposing is unappealing he’s probably not the right guy for you and a break up is where you’re headed anyway. I’ve been there.

    2. Oh man. No one should propose without being sure of the answer — as in, you’ve talked about it as a couple and decided an engagement and marriage is the next step.

      Why are you not ready? Is it something specific or more vague unease? In most cases, regardless of which half of a couple is “not ready,” unfortunately that usually means it’s not a perfect fit and you’re headed for an eventual break-up regardless.

      2. +2. This happened to me many years ago in my mid-20s with a lovely man. He wasn’t the right one unfortunately and we ultimately broke up. I still feel terrible about hurting him so badly.

    3. I think it depends on why you’re not ready. It being too soon, waiting for certain life events, etc are going to be more palatable than if you’ve been dating for a few years and you’re both settled adults in your 30’s.

    4. There’s a book that’s a bit old (like 15ish years at least) called 100 Questions and maybe you can order it and work through what is in there? It susses out fundamental incompatibilities (I expect to have 5+ kids & no kids ever) with frank questions. But it doesn’t get at “Is there a spark?” or “This person makes me never have to sit alone at dinners or weddings but I don’t want to wake up with him every day for the rest of my life.”

      However, if you don’t want to marry him, why are you dating him (I’m lonely / scared / sunk costs / gets along well with friends and family are all answers, but be candid with him b/c he may not want to be in this sort of relationship and deserves to know that).

    5. I think you need to take a hard look at why you’re not ready. If you think he’s the one but you just need more time to not be partnered/aren’t ready to focus on wedding planning then I think you cna have the conversation but be honest about the timeline.
      But if the idea fills you with horror/dread then, yes, I think you’re ready to break up. A boyfriend who I was living with in my early 20s floated the idea of proposing and my initial gut reaction was ‘oh god no’ and yes, it was because I was ready to break up and he could tell I was pulling away. I was anxious about having to fnd a new apartment/telling our families and friends/etc. etc. and that prolonged my staying longer than I should have. We were both much happier when we faced the truth, broke up, and moved on.

      1. The second paragraph is more or less what I am thinking. Misalignment on something as serious as whether to get engaged suggests there’s already a rift and he is trying to patch over it but maybe doesn’t know how. Rather than ask if something is up, or maybe because he doesn’t want to hear the answer, he’s trying to formally solidify your commitment.

    6. You’re getting good advice and suggestions. Let me add my $.02 – when my now-husband started indicating he might be proposing, I went through some feelings of “oh no, I’m not ready” and it really didn’t have anything to do with him – more with the idea that once we got married, we would have to lock ourselves down and buy a house and get a dog and have kids, and the freewheeling life we had of travel, friends, concerts, and benign irresponsibility would be over. Because that’s what everyone in my family who got married did: plunged headlong into maximum commitment mode. I didn’t feel ready for that. And the great news was, neither did he! We had a talk about “what will getting married do for us and what will it be like after we get married” and agreed we didn’t want to rush into dog, house, kids, etc. right away. (Bear in mind, I was in my mid-20s so we did have time to put off having kids, which is an important factor.)

      I did not share this part with him, but I also had some FOMO about who else was out there that I might be missing out on – I had dated plenty, but he was only my second even semi-serious relationship and I think it’s only natural to think, yes, I love this person, but what if? If I’d had really serious doubts in that direction, I wouldn’t have accepted the proposal. But I am kind of commitment-phobic generally (I could never, for example, get a job and say “I’ll be here for the next 20 years!” because being locked into something like that terrifies me). I knew I really loved my guy, and couldn’t imagine a life without him.

      We went ahead and got married. We did not buy a house for another six years and didn’t have a baby for another two years after that (we did get a dog though, much sooner than I thought we would). In the meantime we traveled the world, went to tons of concerts, rented cool apartments that were totally impractical, etc. I bought a convertible and drove that for a few years which was awesome! Then we decided, now we’re ready to move into more commitment. It worked out just fine.

      As others have said, the reason why you don’t want to say “yes” is important. This is a great time to have a low-stakes conversation about what you want your life to look like from here, and what his idea of that, and if the two ideas fit together.

      1. I also commented above but this is really good advice. We also married young and people were kind of shocked (we were both in law school when we got engaged, and married during) – like the assumption was we’d want to start popping out kids right away, which is kind of incompatible with young Biglaw life.

        Nope, we just… wanted to be married!

      2. When my now-husband and I were about 6 months out from when we had talked about getting engaged (which was ~1 year delayed from when I initially wanted because he wasn’t ready), I actually talked to a therapist for ~3 months because I was feeling nervous. My concerns had nothing to do with him, I could picture a life with him and wanted to be with him long term and have a family with him, but the fear around marriage changing our relationship and the permanency really gave me pause. This was totally unexpected to me at the time because I always saw myself getting married and had with him too. In retrospect, I probably would have gone through this whenever we were about to get engaged, whether sooner or later in our relationship. He knew I was talking to someone and the vague reason why and never seemed particularly bothered by it. After working through that, I had no doubts from the moment we got engaged and our first several years of marriage have been great.

        If your concerns are about either the timing or the institution, I’d let him know ASAP and in the same conversation let him know what you need to resolve (X more months / years before an engagement, talking to a therapist etc).

    7. Ugh and may I just drag my soapbox over here and climb on and say that this is (one of many reasons) why I hate the whole patriarchal proposal-industrial complex?

      OP, I think the only way out is through: Sit him down and tell him you are not down with unilateral proposals and for the record, if he ever has such ideas you will expect him to get over it and open negotiations/discussions like a normal adult human. If you want it to seem less out of the blue, you can couch it as “OMG an acquaintance of mine (blame it on this s i t e — that’s what we’re here for) just got blindsided by an unexpected proposal, and…”

      1. And also? I agree that if you’re “terrified” of him proposing then it may well be time to break up. But only you know whether that’s the case.

      2. I love your term “patriarchal proposal-industrial complex.” I’m stunned by how many women who have taken charge of their lives and careers wait around for their boyfriends to propose. If you want to marry a guy, make that happen. If you don’t, then figure out why and act accordingly. But wondering whether every festive event might be “the night” and waiting around for months or years is unappealling to me.

        1. I agree with this strongly, but I don’t usually post it here because I know it’s such an unpopular opinion. It’s more relevant to the “when will he finally propose?” posts than to this one, but they’re flip sides of the same male-prerogative coin.

          Also…if a woman tells her boyfriend she wants him to propose, then in fact she has just proposed. There’s such a stigma around women being the ones to ask, but in fact it happens all the time! Engagement is an agreement to marry; “proposals” are a show. (Except in unfortunate cases like OP’s.)

    8. I wish this whole idea that a couple deciding to get married is a surprise to the bride-to-be. Now with the added pressure of having a social media ready proposal. Down with proposals, up with honest communication between two adults.

      OP if you’re not ready and would not say yes, tell your boyfriend now. Today. Don’t let it go further. This is something you should be discussing regularly if you’re in a committed relationship.

    9. I know a bit about this topic. I’ve been blindsided twice by unwelcome proposals. Different men.

      The first time I said yes because I was young (20) and stupid. We ultimately broke up, and to this day I wish I’d had the guts to have said no in the moment.

      The second time I had a full-blown panic attack in the restaurant, and he basically stopped and tried to play it off as a joke. I was 30, but had made clear when we started dating that I was not interested in the legal commitment of marriage and he sprung it on me with zero discussion. We broke up shortly after the failed proposal, in part due to his refusal to discuss what happened in a mature way.

      If you are terrified of this man proposing, break up with him now. I promise you will save yourself a lot of time and heartache. Listen to your gut, even if you cannot articulate why you feel the way you do.

    10. All I can say is – don’t do what I did. I was filled with dread and said “yes” anyway because he was such a nice guy and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I felt like I owed it to him – if was asking me, I must have been giving him the impression I would say yes, right?

      Married and 23 and divorced less than 3 years later. It was years ago, I still feel horrible about it, but at the time I thought I was doing the kinder thing by saying ‘yes.’

    11. Is your answer more “no” or “not right now”? Or “I don’t know”?

      If in your heart, the answer is “no,” then you should break up. And you might also have to break up if the answer is “I don’t know,” because when one person knows with this degree of certainty and the other doesn’t, that’s very hard.

      If the answer is “not right now,” is that “I don’t want to be engaged now” or “I don’t want to be married now”? “I don’t want to be engaged now” usually takes you back to “I don’t know” – it often means you’re not sure about this person. “I don’t want to be married now” just means…you don’t want to be married now even if this is the person you want to marry someday.

      My best friend went through this, realized her answer was “I don’t want to be married now,” and had a two-year engagement. She’s very happily married now but needed the time.

    12. Don’t be me. I said yes to that proposal and ended up divorced before our 5th wedding anniversary. The divorce was made more painful by the loss of self trust it revealed. If you are not excited about a proposal, this dude is not the one.

      Epilogue: I was so excited to marry my next husband that I proposed to him.

  6. Recommendations for a formal/fancy coat that is also warm? My 80% wool blend coat is not cutting it and my other coat is a woodsy puffer that is sizes too large if worn over just a dress/tights (but adequate to be worn over a fleece and layers in very cold weather). Looking to attack sales next week.

    1. I feel like a broken record, but the Canadian brands are REALLY good at this – Mackage, Aritizia, Soia & Kyo. Blooingdales features a great selection and some of the Mackage classic coats were going for 40-50% off last February. If this is going to be your only ‘dress’ cloth coat I’d probably go with a black, navy, camel, or army green. If you don’t mind something less formal the plaids/prints/jewel tones tend to go on sale first

      1. Ha! I am also looking into down jackets, and my Canadian friend also recommended Aritzia and Soia & Kyo.

        1. Like formal-ish down or puffer coats? If such a creature exists, will check out and hope it’s sold here.

          1. I can sometimes find reasonably streamlined puffers, but the shiny synthetic fabric is what keeps them looking casual to me. I would love to find one that has a matte natural fabric.

          2. I also don’t like shiny fabrics – I’m in love with my new Uniqlo coat. It’s the Ultra Warm Down Coat (I chose the thigh length one) and although it’s not super formal it’s far less casual than a lot of puffer coats (it doesn’t have the split back hem of a lot of parkas for example).
            Colour also helps a lot – I chose brown over khaki to help it skew less casual.

          3. Something like the Soia & Kyo Camelia would be an elevated down puffer. I have it and it’s SUPER warm, like warmer than my Patagonia full length down coat.

    2. I like to layer a thin down vest under the wool coat. There are even thin down jackets that are meant to be worn this way — they have no collar so it doesn’t show under the coat. In my experience they add a ton of warmth. If you otherwise are happy with your wool coat I would consider one of those. Mine is from Uniqlo but I’ve also seen them at other places.

      1. Agree with this. I even layer my Uniqlo down vest over my Uniqlo down jacket!

    4. I used to love my Soia and Kyo coat, it was incredibly warm. I replaced it with one from Hobbs because the S&K was really old and worn, and the Hobbs one never cut it. I haven’t been a big fan of the most recent S&K styles, so I recently bought one from Norwegian Wool (on a recommendation from this s!te) and I love it. It’s a soft wool cashmere on the outside and a down puffer on the inside. It buttons all the way to the top – which is key. Highly recommend.

    5. I have a very high quality wool coat that had open sleeves. I had a tailor add knit cuffs to the sleeves/wrist, as puffers often have, and this improved the warmth considerably. Add a down vest or puffer and i can be warm for hours.

  7. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! I woke up to a text from my step-mom that she FINALLY got her first vaccine yesterday after she was sharing bad info on her FB page for months. I still have a lot of issues with her and my dad and their other beliefs, but I’m just happy this portion is at least done for now.

      1. She hasn’t yet and I want to hold off a bit before I ask her what changed her mind. I’ll probably ask when I next go up to see them (since I decided not to go home for Christmas).

        1. Ummm, you probably don’t want to ask her, because her answer is likely to be that Trump was on TV a couple of days ago and said he’d just gotten a booster and encouraged everyone to get vaxxed and boostered.

    3. That’s great! I was at a vaccine clinic in a rural part of one of the least vaxxed states this week, and although it was mostly kids 5-11 getting second shots and adults getting boosters, there were quite a few adults getting first doses too.

    7. Thank you for sharing this! I hear a lot of won’t-budge talk from my community and it’s nice to hear some people are taking new precautions.

    8. I am so happy for you!

      My sister’s unvaccinated household (her, DH, four kids ranging from high school to late 20s) all tested positive for covid last week. I really wish I would have received that Christmas miracle text from my sister.

  8. I know something similar has been asked before but I cannot find the specific answer. Does anyone have a favorite holiday card service that allows for simple customization and sends the cards directly to recipients? I’d like to make a New Year’s card with family photos TODAY and get it over with. I don’t want to deal with adding stamps and walking to the mailbox. I want it done one.

    1. I use Shutterfly every year. I uploaded all my contacts into it via an Excel spreadsheet years ago and now it’s super easy. May not be the cheapest but there’s always coupon codes. I usually just get the recipient addressing but do the stamps and return address myself (I have an address stamp). But Shutterfly has the option of it doing all addressing and mailing for you for an additional cost.

    3. I’ve used Simply to Impress for the last few years and had them stamp and mail it out last year and it was so easy (like how did I not do this before???). I also skip the proofing. If you do use them, I would recommend requesting in your design that they remove their logo and website from the back of the card and tell them to make sure the text fits nicely under the pic. I also found uploading the excel file to their website the easiest. Frankly I ended up choosing them originally because the excel file uploaded easily whereas I had issues with other more popular sites. Good luck!

  9. This may come off as grinchy but I would never bring it up in real life. Has anyone noticed that people send holiday cards that no longer wish the recipients well? Don’t get me wrong. I use mine to show you my cute kids too-but I make sure to say some version of happy holidays from our family. That’s the point right?

    I’ve gotten a bunch in recent years that just say “blessed!” Or “Oh what fun!” with pictures and their names and sometimes even a recap of what happened to them, but never wishing us a happy holiday or even saying “love” or “from.” I noticed it pre-pandemic so I don’t think it’s a covid thing. I find it really strange.

      1. I am not on social media and I really enjoy receiving holiday cards! I enjoy hearing from and seeing pictures of friends, family, and acquaintances. I completely understand it might seem redundant if you are on social media but I find it a nice tradition and genuinely look forward to opening the cards.

        1. +1
          Not on social media so it’s one of the few times a year I see pics of the kids of friends who moved away, etc. not necessary but I enjoy it.

        2. +1. Also not on social media and absolutely love the holiday cards from friends who live in other cities. My husband doesn’t care at all about them.

      2. Well, let me know who you are so I can drop you from my list just in case you slipped in there.

        1. Yeah, me too. I really don’t have time for specific requests from people who need very specific wording on holiday cards. The same goes for people who get mad for receiving cards after December 25. If you can’t stand a slightly late card, please let me take you off the list so I can save on stamps!

    2. Eh, I think this is one you’ll need to get over. With many, many of our holiday card recipients being of other faiths or not religious, it may not even be a holiday for them when they receive the card. Also, it can feel boring or generic to choose Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays etc.

      I think the “well wishes for the recipient” message is the sending of the greetings itself, not whether the pre-printed text says Happy Holidays.

      1. Well if it says “blessed” theyre not really being religion-agnostic. But I get that it can be just be a winter holiday card even if it doesnt say “well wishes” specifically

        1. “Blessed” doesn’t have to be “blessed by the evangelical Christian God.” Plenty of people who aren’t religious feel blessed in the sense that they are grateful that they have good jobs, good health, are well-educated, etc. You know – privileged.

      2. There are so many ways around this that still communicate a sentiment for the recipient. Don’t be lazy.

    3. I wouldn’t say it is strange. I would say it is demonstrative of their intent, which has nothing to.do with you at all other than having selected you to be a part of the audience for their narcissistic gloating. I would trash such cards and ignore those people going forward. They are the worst.

      1. wow if I had this attitude I would have no friends. I think it’s fun to open cards and see cute pics of my friends and their families. Of COURSE it’s a highlight reel but thankfully the limited amount of space means no one feels compelled to write paragraphs like they used to.

        1. +1 – good grief. Again, positive intent for the win, I feel genuinely sorry for so many posters who have such negative views of people.

        2. I don’t need a paragraph. And I love the pics, as well, but please at least communicate some sentiment to me, not at me.

          1. The sentiment was that they included you on a list of cards to send. I dropped sending holiday cards years ago when the fun ran out for me, but I’d much rather have a card that doesn’t explicitly wish me a sentiment, than a religious Christmas card when I’m not Christian.

      2. I actually like to know that my friends (even distant ones) are doing well and did a bunch of good things.

    4. Yikes! You gave me a start but then I checked my cards and I did indeed wish everybody well (with love, even!), so… whew! ;)

      Also, tend to agree with Cat — the act of sending is the well-wishing, and if they didn’t manage to come right out and say it, that was an oversight and let’s all presume good intentions!

    5. You need to get over it. It’s really hard for me to find the right pre-printed message on a card format I like, now I have to make sure it wishes you well?

      1. It’s literally the only thing the card needs to do. Funny, cute and pretty are all secondary to the basic communication of any kind sentiment to the recipient.

        1. For you. And you get to prioritize what you want on the cards that you send. I will prioritize what I want, thanks.

        2. I’m so fascinated by this attitude. I’d love to hear about your IRL friendships and how often you see your friends, what you guys talk about, etc.

    6. Haha. My husband says some people send holiday cards and some people just send “we’re doing great” cards.

    7. I agree with you. Over the last 10-15 years, the holiday cards have turned into an exercise in family or personal branding instead of a heartfelt wish that you, the recipient are doing well. This seems to align with the general trend of saying “Happy Holidays” or “Merry and Bright” instead of “Merry Christmas” (note: I totally get that not everyone celebrates Christmas, but it seems weird to me when I know the recipient and their entire social circle do yet they send a red and green card that looks obviously Christmas-y but won’t actually say “Christmas”…). It is very strange and makes me feel kind of old-fashioned for wanting to include a personal note to the recipient. Is that so 1990s of me?

      I sense there is a college thesis in this about personal branding, our era of individualism, and the gendered labor women take on during the holidays, but I will save it for someone far smarter than I am…

      1. Having grown up in a major East Coast city, saying Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings is not a “trend.” It was done ever since I can remember, even from people who did personally celebrate Christmas, and I’m an Old. I’m really sorry that people in, um, less diverse areas have recently discovered the astonishing fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas, but please let’s not pretend Happy Holidays is some new trend. I remember it as long as I live, and so does my 78 year mother.

        2. Back in the day, at least to me, “Happy Holidays” and “Season’s Greetings” meant “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.”

    8. I get dragged for this every year, but I think one should write *something* and more than just signing a name on a Christmas card, otherwise it’s got the same level of attentiveness as a piece of junk mail. This is apparently this hill I will die on.

      2. I was you for a long time but this year I dialed it back to just signing both our names (as in, we each individually signed our names, in different colored Sharpie, even) unless I felt really moved to write a note (which was, maybe 25% of the time). I feel like as long as it shows I’ve touched it and looked at it (as opposed to just stuffing the envelope, untouched by human hands), I’ve done enough.

        And honestly, I am coming around to “as long as they get delivered, you’ve done enough” but I’m not quite there yet for myself (although I’m happy to get your card regardless).

      3. +2 totally agree with you Anon at 11:07. And I pretty much never get any cards with an actual note, just the performative/highlight reel ones mentioned above.

      4. Have you ever thought about not being a miserable person assuming the worst in others?

        1. That takes a lot of internal work and the ability to reflect on one’s own motivations and intentions. Too much work for some, apparently.

    9. I love holiday cards, I love writing them and spend hours writing personalized messages, I love receiving them. It does make me a little sad the number we get that have apparently never seen my friends’ hand – no handwritten greeting or even signatures, printed envelope. At the end of the day though, I still love the cards and appreciate being thought of when they make their list!

      More to your point: we looked for photo cards this year from all the main places: Minted, Shutterfly, Simply to Impress, etc and the majority are truly atrocious. Tons of overtly Christian themed designs (using phrasing from Christmas bible passages or hymns) being tagged as non-religious, and so much of that loopy up-and-down ugly faux-handwritten cursive. It looked like a pinterest mommy blogger explosion. We ended up going back to the classic non-photo Cranes holiday cards ourselves but to your complaint in particular I’d say that the leading suppliers don’t give normal people too much to work with.

      1. Yes that was my point above. I have a hard enough time finding a format I can live with, adding a new requirement just made me sigh.

        I don’t actually wish people a merry Christmas, I do happy holidays and happy new year as so many of my friends don’t celebrate Christmas, and I’m not going to be that person. I just couldn’t find a non Christmas version this year that worked.

        I looked back at mine and I did at least wish everyone a happy new year in the signature line!

        1. You are absolutely killing it by my standards. I’m sure they’re lovely. If the card already says any version of “happy” “peaceful” “joyful” you’re fine. If it just says “we had a great year!” I think it should also wish the recipient well.

      2. I use minted. I never stumbled across one that didn’t say some version of happy holidays or warm wishes or whatever and also didn’t have room to write “love” “warm wishes” or whatever in the box where you write your family’s name/names. You can even change the font size. I think it’s kind of hard to do what I’m describing.

        One friend managed to send one that just “blessed!” and the sign off said “merry Christmas to our newest daughter, Anastasia!” I get that she probably meant merry Christmas to us but wouldn’t it be easier to just write “merry Christmas?”

    10. To clarify, I am 100% ok with the cards that are pre-printed with happy holidays”or “peace” -you definitely don’t have to say it twice. Just once-anywhere on the card.

        1. I’m genuinely delighted that you’re all in indulging this- I sort of know I’m being ridiculous.

          “Joy” is good! You wished me joy. Thank you. It’s a substitute for “happy Holidays” it works!

    11. Every year there’s at least one grinchy post bitching about holiday cards so in case anyone is discouraged I want to put this out there – I ABSOLUTELY LOVE getting everyone’s cards. I line them up on a ledge at the bottom of my stairs so I see them every time I pass by. I love the pictures of your kids and your pets and your travels, I love your newsletters, I am honored to be on your mailing list, and I can honestly say this is my most favorite and cherished part of the holiday season. I like it better than cookies, better than the tree, better than Christmas carols. Keep ‘em coming!!

      2. Completely same. That you took the effort to make a card and send it to me to share in your life and joy means a ton.

      3. Agree, I love getting cards from everyone and put them all on my wall. I would assume that everyone who sent them wishes me a happy holiday.

      4. Agree! And may I just say that my VERY VERY FAVORITE is the annual single-spaced, both-sides-of-the-paper newsletter from friends of my husband, including detailed reports on things like their medical diagnoses, the books they read, and (I kid you not), the sides that came with the prime rib special (12 oz!!) at their favorite restaurant. LOVE IT.

        1. Yes… I haven’t gotten any of these yet, and I am checking the mail for them every day. I genuinely love these, and they are honestly so effective. I can still remember things about my parents’ friends from their holiday newsletter cards from when I was a grade schooler.

        3. A few of my dad’s relatives are pretty wealthy (early at Microsoft type money). As the “poor relations” we get a kick out of reading their newsletters trying to one-up each other. Tell me more about how uncomfortable your flight to Bali was …

        4. Haha my aunt always includes a personal note that it sort of barbed and I look forward to it every year. This year it was because I happened to see my cousin, her son, during the year and she said “at least he’s in touch with one of his cousins.” In prior years she has told me that I work/travel too much or that I must be sick of living in California. HAHA I die. I seriously can’t wait to see what she decides to complain to me about every year.

        5. Most of the newsletters I get are either batsh*t crazy (my MIL) or super braggy. Because I live in a house full of smart alecks, these usually get a dramatic reading with commentary. My husband’s cousins write a very funny one I always love.

          2. Hahahaha! We get a newsletter each year from an elderly relative and it gets this same treatment. This year’s included for too much detail about bodily functions interspersed with melancholic nostalgia about the good ol’ days when overt racism was publicly acceptable, followed by pious yet apocalyptic proclamations about the state of the world and how shameful it is that people are afraid to say merry Christmas again under the Biden administration. Reading it aloud becomes an SNL-worthy production in our house.

      6. The notes feel too much like highlight feels but I love, love, love getting Christmas cards!! My late 20s/single/no children circles don’t send them (and I think it’d be weird if we did), so my parents save the cards they get and let me open some of them.

        My parents stopped sending cards about 8 years ago (when my grandfather died in December and my dad wasn’t up for it), and never resumed, which sadly means they’ve stopped receiving as many as they used to.

      8. Originally from the UK, a long time ago, but opening Christmas cards was part of my parent’s ritual on Christmas Day. After Christmas lunch (and washing up), after the Queen’s speech, they sat down to open the cards the family had received and read aloud the handwritten greetings therein. It was before photo cards but sometimes a photograph was inserted. My artist father commented on any illustration he particularly liked, my mother commented on the source of the card if it supported a charity she particularly liked. They both came from large families, and also had distant friends. Then the children displayed them on the mantelpiece and bookshelves. It was the way I learned much family history and of their life before children. Then I always felt a little intrusive but now I value the memory.

      9. Me too! We put ours on the mantelpiece. I love them. Bring on your cute kids, your pets in costumes, your carefully coordinated holiday photo or your random snap of your fam looking like total weirdos. Wish me a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a happy New Year, or whatever holiday or commemoration lightens the darkest days of the year for you. Peace on the earth, goodwill toward men and women, I’m happy to know you and share this with you, even from afar.

        1. Oh that’s so funny. My card has all those elements. My kids are cute (in my opinion, obvs), there’s a pic where my husband is making a face, and a pic of my dog in a hot dog costume.

        1. + 100 percent. We get a wide range of cards, and love receiving them all. We read ours before we open gifts XMAS morning.

      11. Me too! I practically run to the mailbox every day to see that days haul in cards. I love them all, photo cards, no photos, warm greetings, pre-printed, from my dentist, from my college BFF, all of them. I also really take issue with people who snit about them – I have a stressful busy job and I LOVE holiday traditions like cards. So you know what? That means you don’t get a note from me on your card, sorry. But you know what my lovely list tends to do? They text saying they got our card and it’s a great opening to reconnect and have a little warm back and forth.

    12. I’ve had an ongoing joke with my husband that birthday cards are, by default, insulting now. They make an age-related joke, then say something like “oh well, happy birthday anyway!” as if that negates telling the recipient they have one foot in the grave.

      Greeting cards as a whole went too far in trying to be hip.

      1. This is SO true! My ongoing joke with my husband is that blank stationary with our names on it was the greatest investment he never knew he needed. All we want the birthday card to say is “happy birthday” and if it already says that we’re sometimes at a loss!

    14. Whenever I get annoyed or judge-y about someone’s “performative” “highlight reel,” it is usually because I am dissatisfied about something in my own life. They are not being happy AT you, and if you choose to be offended about this, that is your own issue.

      As somebody who aggressively cuts down my mailing list each year, be grateful that someone out there thinks you are worth the two to three dollars it takes to acknowledge.

          1. LOL nah. Other people’s opinions can exist. But enjoy the planets revolving around you.

          2. Anon at 8:43: point some of those incisive observational skills at yourself. I would posit that someone who feels deeply offended that a holiday card didn’t include an explicit statement wishing her well is the one who expects the “planets to revolve” around her.

      2. I agree with Anonymous at 1:58 pm. The time I got really judge-y about an acquaintance who had a picture of her three children in front of the Eiffel Tower, it was really because I was jealous she could take an European trip and for various reasons that year I wasn’t able to. (This is all pre-Covid)

    15. +1 to the “don’t take it personally” crowd. I usually spend weeks looking at different sites to find a good card, and accordingly we’re late every year. This year I resolved to go to one site (Shutterfly) and narrowed to “happy holidays” and then multiple pictures (not one big posed aren’t we perfect picture). That left me with like 3 options. I honestly have no idea what the sign off was on the one we chose… if any of my friends ever said anything about the sign off on a holiday card I don’t think I could ever be friends with that person again.

  10. After years of working in startups I joined a larger company 6 months ago. They sent us uber eats gift cards during a busy season in the summer and just sent a $100 christmas gift card and it just tickles my fancy. They also give appropriate bonuses (and did this summer to people who had been there longer than me) and pay well, but its nice to see them thinking of these things too.

    1. That’s awesome! I’m glad you’re in a good place! Love your handle -I choose that name for my daughter.

    2. This is great! I am not sure why the company size is relevant here – I also have been working for years in what was first a start-up, now a bit more mature. They have always done these things. And to this day every employee gets a holiday card with personally written messages from the whole upper management team, which I think is a tradition the founder started, and which people appreciate and love.

      FWIW, before that I have worked in large public companies and also in government. It’s not about how big or old a company is. It’s about culture.

      Anyway, I am happy you are now at a place with a culture you like more! Enjoy it and pay it forward by keeping it strong!

  11. Has anyone ever used infrared heating panels like SolaRay? They’re very thin panels you can put on a ceiling. I’ve never really heard of them before but am intrigued – seems like maybe a good alternative to a space heater.

    1. I live in a 1970s condo that has radiant ceiling heat, so same general concept, but built into the ceiling (i.e. pretty much impossible to repair without ripping out the ceiling). It’s broken in one room and it’s impossible to regulate the temperature, but those might be better in a newer version. The heat it produces is pleasant, unlike a forced air system that’s always turning on and off, but we’re in a rental with no insulation and lots of leaky windows, so it would be incredibly expensive to actually keep our house warm, which means we only use it on the coldest days and then just enough to keep the edge off (climate is pretty mild).

      1. Thanks for sharing! We’d probably use it similarly, just to raise the temp in a room by up to 5 degrees . It’s good to know that it’s at least pleasant heat.

    2. I have only done yoga a couple times but the heating panels they had on the ceiling were DOPE. I didn’t want to actually do the movements, I just wanted to lay quietly underneath them like a lizard.
      I imagine getting them installed in the ceiling at home would be an expensive PITA.

      1. We looked into the install and it seems pretty easy at least – just need electrical wiring in the ceiling, which an electrician should be able to run without an issue in our place. We looked at mini splits which would obvious be a great choice but more expensive with a much harder install – we couldn’t figure out how to run the exhaust without it ruining the facade of our house.

          1. I love your visual of laying under the heat tiles like a lizard. That is so appealing right now.

  12. Ugh. I am a person who wasn’t cold-natured as a kid, but somehow in my 30s I had a cold drafty office and somehow I just became unable to handle it or working being still for any length of time. Outside, also, I need to be bundled and moving (so when I had babies, I didn’t have a lot of good options as you can’t run laps at the park if you are really needed to make sure they are not tumbling off the top of the climber). And now, into perimenopause, I am still cold! In fact, I think I am getting more cold-intolerant. I guess there is a % of women who become “little old women who are always bundled up and just look like they are cold”? If so, do they have a blog I could follow?

    1. This was an early Hashimoto’s symptom for me, so you may want to bring it up w/your doc just to be sure. (The highest risk group for Hashimoto’s is women ages 40-60.)

      1. Interesting. I just googled and I have some symptoms and definitely not others (I have the world’s oiliest skin). Will get bloodwork done at any rate when I go to the doctor next since I do have hypothyroidism in my family.

    2. It’s me. As long as I’m moving I can handle the cold just fine, but I really struggle when sitting still. I’m pretty much always under a blanket at home, wear fingerless gloves, etc. Even the summers are miserable with AC in my office, which is the best thing about WFH! In my early 40s and the prospect of hot flashes is actually kind of appealing.

        1. Hey friend! Do you find yourself wondering if you could layer a turtleneck under everything? That is me.

          1. Different friend but yes! You can layer a turtleneck under everything! I give you permission!!

    3. Have you looked at your diet? It sounds like you are roughly my age, which means that in your 30s you were bombarded with dietary messages that fat was bad, and it became normal to eat low fat versions of a lot of foods. I discovered that as a thin “cold” person, if I added some fat to my diet I wasn’t so cold all the time. So a regular pork sausage patty with breakfast, not a “99% fat free turkey sausage” patty. Real cream in my coffee. A pasta dish at lunch with olive oil in it. You don’t need to go crazy and eat 10 strips of bacon at breakfast (even if it’s just to annoy your daughter in law), but try adding a little bit of fat in, especially early in the day, and see if you’re more comfortable.

      1. Fat is delicious! I would marry an avocado if I could (or cheese, definitely cheese). Still cold.

    4. I never felt cold until I moved to the UK this summer. I’ve been cold ever since! And this is despite the summer being moderate temps and the winter not dropping much below freezing. I don’t get it… One thing the Brits use that I am adopting is a hot water bottle. I had never heard of anyone in the US using them, but maybe they do. Consider getting one of those for when you’re at home and cold!

      1. Haha yes, even the macho dudes in my UK workplace often use a hot water bottle. (Covered in fuzzy fake fur lol)

    5. I’m mid fifties now so I’m freezing cold except for when I’m absolutely burning up. Fun times.

      I recommend layers you can put on and off easily but you probably already knew that.

      1. +1 – I’m in medical menopause and except when I have a hot flash, I’m just as cold as I’ve ever been. I’m sitting here under a heating blanket, in a turtleneck, next to a heating vent. But when I have a flash? Yeah, layers. It all gets thrown off.

    6. Am late to the game, but if you’re not on video, wearing a woolly hat and some kind of slippers makes all the difference…

    7. Very late, but I bought an under desk cycler, and one benefit is that it keeps me just warm enough when I’m sitting at my desk.

  13. Thought it was worth a shot – does anyone have a shopmaskc discount code?

    2. These are my fave masks, and have now become 12 year old SD’s fave as well. So comfy, good protection, fun colors.

  14. What would you do in my situation? I have a job that pays well but about 50% is performing tasks that I don’t enjoy, that I can do competently but haven’t mastered, and I have no interest in getting better at it. About 10% of the job is something I really enjoy and do want to get better at. I’ve been in the job about 6 months so in a broad sense I’m still learning a lot about how this new org does things but I know this is not what I want long term. There is no opportunity now or in the future to increase the 10% task at my current org. I know many will say to casually look for jobs and be selective, which I agree with in concept. But given my high work load, I have a hard time with that in practice. I’m either in full on job search mode or focused on my current job. If I’m not likely to find something better (because of job market, time of year, length of current tenure, etc), I’d rather get ideas of a new job out of my head until that changes.

    1. I would start casually looking and be selective. Try to find the middle ground between full-on job search and 100% focused on your current job. For me, that would look like reaching out to 1-2 connections per week to check in and mention I’m exploring new options. I would also look at job boards and if anything looks interesting, see if I have any connections or connections of connections who work there so I can get an insider’s POV on the role or org. You can probably do both of those things in 30 minutes a week and then go back to being mostly focused on your current job. It may not seem like much at first, but it will add up and you’ll either find some opportunities that look intriguing or end up liking what you have more and be okay with sticking around longer. Good luck!

  15. I have some gift knitting to power through so I’m looking for your favorite recent streamed movies so I can make a watch list. I’m not really a hallmark movie person but I basically like everything else (I more relate to the meme of watching a hallmark movie backwards!)

    1. That is an excellent meme. No recommendations. I have been watching all of the Law & Orders (OG, not the spinoffs) in order.

    2. I adore Tick Tick Boom. Andrew Garfield is marvellous.
      Also The Holiday, of course! And my favourite rom-com of the 2010s, which remains criminally underrated, Set It Up on Netflix.

      1. Ooh, Ribena, we have similar taste—I also loved Tick Tick Boom and The Holiday, which makes me think I would like Set It Up, too (haven’t even heard of it!).

        If you’re into movie musicals, In The Heights is also a lot of fun!

        1. I haven’t seen it yet! I hadn’t been able to get a vaccine yet when it was in the cinemas and it’s the kind of film that I suspect is much better on a big screen

    3. I loved the series Home for Christmas that was recommended here. So much Christmas but funny and with edge and sex not found in the Hallmark movies. Use dubbing instead of subtitles for an easier watch.

      1. OP here – I LOVED Home for Christmas! Not Hallmark-y at all. I’m not that much of a cynic haha. I wish there were more things like it.

        1. Love Hard is one step closer to rom-com and not as edgy but I found it amusing – esp the way they make loving fun of Baby it’s Cold Outside and Love Actually

          1. Watched Love Hard last night and loved it!! I am also salty about Baby It’s Cold Outside and I don’t like Love, Actually (or as I like to say, I don’t love Love Actually, actually) so the jokes were perfect.

        2. Home for Christmas is so great to watch….Norwegian Christmas eye candy plus a great heroine that finds love plus handsome men and some sexy scenes plus happy family and some family drama plus Christmas cooking and traditions plus great roommate…MUST WATCH

    4. If you want a holiday movie, I highly recommend Anna and the Apocalypse. A Christmas zombie musical is exactly what the world needed.

      1. Ooh. This doll has captured my attention.

        (That line is one of my favorite movie musicals, Guys and Dolls, which I watched last night while finishing the neck of a 54” chest bottom-up raglan sweater at 5.5 st/in, in case any of my fellow knitters on here want to sympathize with my poor aching hands)

          3. Yay, so glad you both enjoyed it! It’s criminally underrated, so I love spreading the word.

    5. I really loved “Shrill” and “This Way Up” on Hulu. Not movies but easy to binge. “Home for the Holidays” on Netflix was really good but it’s Norwegian and captioned so might not be the best thing to watch if you need to look down consistently.

      1. That’s “Home for Christmas” not “Home for the Holidays” although the latter was pretty good too.

  16. Anyone see Meghan and Harry’s holiday card? Thoughts?

    Archie is a ginger! Those curls! So adorable. Lilli is a chubby sweet baby. Everyone looks great. It still is kind of shocking to me to see Harry in casual clothes, though it is refreshing! I like the California vibe of barefoot/jeans they have going on.

      2. I don’t think it’s double denim, looks like a blue cotton but agree the effect is a bit Canadian tux.

    2. VERY CUTE! Although it drives me nuts that you can’t really see the children very well (by design, of course).

    3. I thought it was a cute pic, but thought the message was phrased oddly re Lili making them a family.

      1. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that! Super weird, like Archie wasn’t enough?!

        Also seems weirdly performative to say they’ve donated to charities on the recipient’s behalf, like we all wouldn’t have been aware of charity existing if they didn’t do it for us.

        They are always so extra and I find it equally entertaining and annoying.

          1. I find it so odd—do they want to be private citizens? Philanthropists? Celebrities? Who is the audience for this card?

        2. Both of those were weird – families come in all sizes and it seems odd to bring up a gift in a mass mailed holiday card. It was a beautiful family picture, though.

        3. Like the picture is fine but the words are sort of making me wonder the audience. Industry acquaintances? Maybe they have a separate one for family (like would you send this to the Queen? I don’t think so.). Just for the Daily Mail?

      2. I agree, very weird. It’s even weirder when it’s about a second child, but I honestly hate “made us a family” even when it’s about the first child. A happily married couple is a family. I have kids, but you don’t need kids to make you a family! This is peak #smugparents

        1. And it’s not really a message for a Christmas card. Like I wouldn’t put it in a birth announcement, but it seems to go better there vs a Christmas card. And it doesn’t go there, either IMO but seems really a non-sequitur in a Christmas card of people who presumably know you had a baby in the past year.

      3. Ditto ones referencing “our family is now complete.” Don’t dare the universe for an oops baby! Or if you change your mind, Later Kid will inevitably find it.

        1. Eh that one I get because people ask non-stop if you’re having another kid, and this shuts down that line of questioning. We’re likely one and done and communicated our family was complete after the birth of our first child so people would stop prying about when a second one was coming. If we later change our minds so be it.

        2. Lol my family is complete with a vasectomy to prove it. If the unexpected happens, the kid probably won’t find out via an old Christmas card at least.

        3. Or everyone will know you had an oops. There is still chatter in families about some siblings who are 7-15 years younger than the older ones (same parents).

          1. My mom is an oops (siblings are 13, 14, and 16 years older than she is). It’s very openly discussed, lol.

        4. They’ve already said that people shouldn’t have more than two kids because of climate change so any future kids beyond these two would have been a clear ‘oops’.

          1. When people say “people should X”, the speaker tends to get to do X. The “you should reduce your carbon footprint” types getting quoted in the paper seem to also not fly commercial (but still fly), so I feel like people generally exempt themselves from such pronouncements. I figured that was really a dig on William and Kate.

    5. Okay so embarrassingly the photo has made me realise that the guy on my project team who I have a crush on looks not only a bit like Kenny from the Bold Type but also a bit like Prince Harry

    6. I hadn’t seen it so thanks for bringing it up because I went out and found it. Adorable!!

      1. (Also I sent it around the family text group because we are 50% gingers and the ginger faction is very psyched about Archie!)

        1. He seems to be an auburn, which I think is super-rare. I’d pay good $ for that color.

          1. I can tell you from first hand experience that gingers happily count auburns in their ranks!!

    7. I’m mostly amused that this couple who allegedly just wanted to be private citizens are releasing their holiday card to the public (and that it’s basically the same card every basic rich mom at my kid’s preschool sends out…you can see a million families on the beach at Hilton Head or Sea Island doing a barefoot-and-jeans family holiday card photoshoot Labor Day weekend) .

      1. Guilty! We do it for the grandmothers. New pictures are the only things they really want now and really seem to make them happy. We put ours in a photo book for them (no captions though — they are always cringey to read later; they never age well). Cards . . . struggle bus for getting them out and may see if we can talk the kids into making a photo collage that we take to kinkos.

        1. Ha, I feel like I should have added by way of clarification that my own holiday card is definitely Basic Rich Mom. And I also got married later after an initial early marriage and had my kids basically on the same timeline as Meghan, so you know, in the end, if she just wants to live out her long-held Basic Rich Elder Millennial Mom dreams I totally get that.

      2. I mean, at least it’s evolved to jeans instead of the khakis and white button downs of the beach family photo that was always on christmas cards of my youth (I think the white button down remains, though)

  17. Book recommendations please!

    I would like to read a plot-driven page turner. Something exciting. Any genre is fine.

      2. My dad gifted my husband the 17th book in Louise Penny’s Armand Gamache series last Christmas (not knowing it was part of a series…) and my husband and I both decided to start the series. We are now one book away from the book my dad initially gifted! Highly recommend. State of Terror is next on my list.

        1. Yes they are irresistible! We read the first one in my book club a few years ago and I gobbled up the rest in a matter of weeks and now I just have to wait for the new ones to come out.

    4. Anthony Horowitz mysteries (Magpie Murders, The Word is Murder) – extra good if you are a fan of his other work like Foyle’s War.

      1. I really like the Rose Code until the very end. It was like she suddenly got bored and tried to finish it as quickly as possible. So preposterous.

    6. City of Thieves by David Benioff. So good I wish I could read it for the first time again.

    8. Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells. Sci-fi novellas about a human/robot who just wants to watch space Netflix but has to keep saving its friends from evil corporations.

    9. Anything from Ruth Ware or Riley Sager.
      The Good Girl from Mary Kubica.
      Watch Me Disappear from Janelle Brownm

      1. Skip the latest Riley Sager–was a HUGE disappointment. I thought all others were great though!

    11. Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll. Literally had me waiting to get home from work to read it. And I usually only read “the classics.” Also, she used to be my neighbor!

  18. I just got ANOTHER price hike in my internet bill. That’s the third one this calendar year, for a total of $80 more per month than I was paying in January. I’ve shopped around, but there are no other options that have the same speeds available, and I WFH. So frustrated.

    1. Yeah, internet companies really piss me off. This happens all the time and there’s nothing to do about it.

      1. +1, they hold monopolies in many markets, and they can both raise prices and lower the quality of service with no consequences that I’m aware of.

    2. Do you actually need the speed you’re paying for in order to effectively work from home? I WFH and take courses online (so lots of streaming, Zoom, uploads and downloads) and my DSL that’s been a flat $67/month for the last 5 years has been just fine. It’s been rock steady reliable, too. I’ve never in my life given Comcast (the only cable game in my city) a dime and don’t ever want to start.

      1. Who do you use? I have wifi, but I think I could train myself not to use it. Not being able to read the interwebs at 3:00 when I have some insomnia will be a pain, but if I keep the extra $40 or so a month, I could learn to deal.

        1. I use a local provider who leases space/bandwidth/lines from CenturyLink. I still have wifi and all the same normal things people with Comcast or other internet providers have. I stream more Netflix than I should and all the other bad habits.
          It being a local provider means that the one time my modem/router fried itself, a gentleman from their office ran one to my house after work on his way home, because I couldn’t get by there by 5PM. Another time, squirrels ate the outside line, which meant CenturyLink had to fix it, but they handled the service call and kept me up to date on what happened. Those are the only two outages I’ve had in 5 years. NTI/Network Tallahassee is the provider, and I’d see if your city has something similar. They’re a bit of a holdover from an earlier time, but there are others still around, I think.

    3. Is there any local alternative? Until about a year ago my choices were AT&T or Comcast, both of which I tried and both of which sucked. But then a local-ish company started offering service in my neighborhood after laying a bunch of fiber optical lines, and it’s great. Cheaper, faster, and when I call them, a real person answers the phone.

  19. What is your favorite pencil eyeliner? Mine is smearing and not lasting very long and I would love to switch it up.

    1. My current favorite is from Beauty Pie, which requires a membership but I find it well worth it, but it’s very similar to the Bobbi Brown long wear gel liner. Also great.

      1. Same. I got a sampler pack for Xmas three years ago, and I’ve used them ever since. They don’t bleed down my oily skin, they blend nicely with a wedge brush, and the deep purple one makes gold-brown eyes pop.

    3. Lancôme Le Crayon Kohl. It’s a classic and amazing – works well whether you layer it on thin or thick and the colors are very rich. I rotate between dark brown, black and navy. Pricey but worth it and a pencil lasts a long time. I have been using it for 15 years. (I am not a big makeup person and the one actually beautiful feature I have are my eyes, so my classic and trusty eyeliner actually matters to me!) every time I buy a different pencil I regret the waste of money.

  20. I posted a couple days ago that one of my cases went completely sideways- accidentally anon. I spent a bunch of vacation time dealing with it but found out a few minutes ago that we won! It’s an administrative agency decision for a low-income person and I was able to call and let them know that they’ll be getting over $50K and that their monthly income will be just about doubling. Best Christmas present was to be able to make that call.

    1. Aw that’s great. I’ve never been in a do-gooder job but that must feel awesome.

      1. It really does. It’s exhausting work with a lot of secondary trauma but cases like this make it worth it.

        1. Very happy congratulations :). So glad this happened for you and for the timing and for this person.

    5. I recommend when you make the call to warn him/her not to piss all the money away, but to sock it away in a 401K or Roth IRA. That way some of it will be protected from taxes.

    6. Aww…That’s so nice that you could do that after all that work. We all need those moments.

  21. If any of you would like a little 13-year-old boy inappropriate holiday cheer, mine has dug out an old book of Christmas sheet music and is absolutely in hysterics that there’s a song called “Nuttin’ For Christmas”

    how slang changes over time!

    3. Does this mean what you may be implying? I would think that even years ago, people knew what that must have meant. After all, we are only here b/c our grandparents had s-x, and that resulted in our parents, and then our parents had s-x, and that is how we are here now. So if some guy comes up to me and asks if he wants to give me some nuttin’ I know exactly what he wants me to do, and I will NOT do it for him. That is not what I grew up learning in school, even tho some other girls had no problem doing that with the boys, but guess what, the boys just did not reciprocate at all, so there was nothing in it for them other then a mess on their clotheing. FOOEY on that!

      I think I am the only one working today. I walked down to work today and saw only mabye 10 people in 35 block’s. It is strange for NYC to be so quiet today. DOUBEL FOOEY!

  22. Help if anyone is still around! My brother was originally supposed to host Christmas dinner but started running a high fever this morning (no Covid positive, yet) but we are canceling dinner. I still would like to cook something somewhat festive for dinner tomorrow night but not run out to the store today.
    Anyone have good recipes that use basic stuff y out would have around this house? A good roast chicken recipe etc.
    2 adults and 1 infant so we don’t need a huge feast.

    1. Ina Garten’s Engagement Chicken uses exclusively staple ingredients. Add a couple of vegetables (or a starch if you prefer) and you’ve got what looks like a serious meal.

      1. +1 to Chinese, preferably delivered. My husband and I once both had the flu (pre COVID) leading up to Christmas. Christmas Day we felt better finally but had nothing to cook. We ordered a whole duck and some sides from the neighborhood Chinese place, a very nice man brought it over in a box and also gave us a bamboo calendar. To this day, I still remember it as one of our best Christmas meals ever.

        And yes, we totally relate to Ralphie and his family now!!

  23. Even on this model, this top makes her look like a box. With ruffles. All due respect to the author, but this is NOT a good look for anywhere. There is no shapeliness to it at all, and it is not flattering.

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