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We haven't talked about sororities in a long time, and since they're in the news I thought it might be interesting. Here are the questions: Were you in a sorority in school? Have you felt like your Greek experience helped your career at all, either from a networking perspective or a “life experience” perspective? During the past six months of social distancing (when virtual get-togethers have been so much easier), have you reconnected with your sorority sisters? What are your thoughts on the push to dissolve sororities?
{related: should you put your Greek leadership experience on your resume?}
At my undergrad alma mater, the big news on campus is the push to dissolve sororities and fraternities, with Northwestern's Panhellenic Association encouraging Greek organizations to disband. As Chicago magazine puts it, “citing histories of racism and classism, multiple sororities at the university are threatening to go dark — and one has already done so.” The NYT notes that “Abolish Greek Life” movements have sprung up at universities around the country, including at the University of Richmond, Duke, Emory, American University, the University of North Carolina, and Northwestern.
For my $.02, I did a few days of sorority rush but decided to drop out without pledging. Then I mostly stayed away from the Greek scene — Northwestern had so many other interesting things to do that my friends and I never really felt it was a loss. (I wasn't even a GDI* person; I just didn't really care!)
That said, though, I have wondered in the years since whether I've missed out on networking/socializing opportunities — especially when I moved to a totally new city for work or school and was looking for any possibility for connection.
(I just asked Auntie M, who was in Delta Delta Delta at NU, what her thoughts were — big nope on both networking and connection. So maybe I'm wrong!)
But I'm curious what you guys say — readers, what are your thoughts on sororities and frats? Were you involved in college, or after? Do you feel like they helped you network or make friends in new cities? What are your thoughts on dissolving Greek life?
* Interestingly, when I was in school, I always heard people proudly self-identify as GDI, like they wore a badge of honor — now it looks like it's become an insult to call someone else, at least going on the Urban Dictionary definition. Huh.
Photo by me, circa 2015 (of Northwestern University's arch). All rights reserved.
Sorority
I was in a sorority at a 5K college in the SEUS. I’m sort of a first-gen student, so not a legacy and generally unfamiliar with anything but the negative stereotypes (and I didn’t come in with recommendation letters from alumnae, either). I rushed b/c my first semester freshman year hallmates were doing it. About half dropped out. Half of us pledged. I am so glad that I did it and found the house that was right for me (hard to do in a blur). At my school, sororities and fraternities were pretty inclusive (racially, SES status) and not terribly expensive. I feel like I got my first real leadership experience as an RA and as a sorority officer (if you can manage to voluntold people that you can’t fire and want to remain friends with to get sh*t done, you can totally manage paid people you can fire). I want my kids to have that experience since it was such a good one (and a bit sad that one is on the autism spectrum and while that kid would definitely be an asset to any house, might not seem to be such a shiny penny during formal rush)). Also, my personality type is a joiner — if it hadn’t been that, it could have been the larger RA community, ROTC, the other volunteer “fraternities,” or something else. Right now, it’s Scouting, which has similar attributes and benefits IF you are in a good group to begin with.
anon
I went to a tiny liberal arts school that had “Greek Life” but the sororities and fraternities were essentially just local clubs, not affiliated with any national organization. It was much cheaper to participate, but lacked many of the benefits of the systems at larger schools.
I rushed and dropped out partway through because the benefits didn’t really seem worth all the hoops and obligations. I was still able to form close friendships with people in the various Greek organizations and at one point helped start a temporary parody group called the WXYZs that did the fun stuff (matching shirts on Fridays! Movie & crafts night in the dorms! Trash talking on Yik Yak!) without the ongoing obligations and costs. I still talk to many of those friends, both from the WXYZs and those who were part of the Greek groups.
There were a decent amount of alumni who came back to visit their fraternities/sororities (and donated, both to the school and to the secret off campus bank accounts used to buy alcohol and drugs).
Vicky Austin
omg I forgot about Yik Yak!
Anon
I was in a sorority, despite not being a stereotypical sorority girl. My college was like 70% Greek so there was truly a house for everyone and I was in the sorority that wasn’t much like a sorority. I was also a D1 athlete so never had time to be too involved in the sorority – but I loved it. I made so many very close friends and really enjoyed the activities I did partake in (mostly parties but I went to as many sisterhood activities as I could attend).
I have never once used my sorority affiliation for networking or anything job related. I am in a super male dominated field, so unsure if people who actually work with other women have different experiences. In my last city, I was in the alumni chapter and enjoyed that, but in my current city the alumni chapter is more focused in the suburbs so I don’t attend the happy hours, brunches, or philanthropy events.
Overall, I loved my experience in Greek life, and found that the Greek culture was way less problematic than the athletic culture on my campus. It really makes me sad that there’s a push to disband Greek life.
Anonymous
My sorority was what was a D1AA school (then), so a school where the Greek GPA and athletic GPA were higher than the all-student GPA. We had a few athletes in my sorority and they didn’t always get to every meeting but we supported them and love that they were a part of our group. I never appreciated until I saw it how good those sisters were at time-management and now I am really impressed — it was like having a very serious half-time job on top of full-time school and then being in a sorority.
My little was a 4-year varsity athlete and my little-little was in ROTC.
IDK whether I’d cut it at some other schools, but it has been a great experience (even still; too busy to be involved, but I got a scholarship from my national org and try to give back, at least with writing a check if nothing else).
Cat
I was in a sorority (mid-Atlantic private school). I wanted to drop out of it since it turned out to be less “meaningful friendships” and more – I’d say about 25% girls on a ridic power trip (the people that got super into Panhel, etc) and 75% partying. But my mom, who’d had a great sorority experience, insisted I stick it out – they were paying the dues so I showed up to chapter meetings, saw my 1-2 actual sorority friends elsewhere, and coasted.
I’ve had way more lasting connections from my classmates and people I got to know organically.
cbackson
I went to a large private university of the Vanderbilt/Emory/WashU type. We had sororities, and about a third of undergrads participated in Greek life. It was fun – we did a lot of social activities, school spirit stuff, and volunteer work, which was a nice change from my otherwise obsessively academically focused life. On average, sorority women at my college had higher GPAs, were more likely to hold other campus leadership positions, and were less likely to have a disciplinary incident. Hazing was not a thing among the historically white sororities, although there were rumors for years about hazing in the historically Black sororities and one was suspended my junior year after a really serious incident that put a pledge in the hospital. Neither the Black nor the white sororities compared, however, to our co-ed public service “fraternity,” which actually got permanently banned from campus for awful hazing.
There was zero professional benefit to my sorority experience, and that wasn’t a motivation for joining for me. I wasn’t involved as an alum and am not in touch with my sorority sisters. My experience, as someone who has a lot of friends/co-workers/acquaintances who belonged to Black sororities is that there are much greater professional/networking benefits to participation in those orgs.
Anon
I agree with this and had similar experience. I went to a large public school on the west coast. I rushed because a friend was rushing and I figured it’d be a way to meet some people. Found a house I really liked and made a ton of friends who I’m still close with today. It was also a good experience in leadership and learning to work with people you don’t necessarily agree with or even like (with 150 women in a house, you aren’t going to get along with everyone). Similarly, we did social activities, school spirit stuff and volunteer work. Sororities on my campus also had higher average GPAs, were more likely to be involved in campus activities (I was involved in student government and several professional themed organizations and had sorority sisters on the school newspaper, who played D-1 sports, were involved in other volunteer organizations, etc.). The sororities on my campus didn’t haze but the club sports had pretty horrible hazing reputations.
Surprisingly, one of the most useful things from my sorority experience was rush/recruiting. Having had tons of practice making small talk all day was actually incredibly helpful for OCI as a law student. I’m not super involved as an alumni but my sorority alumni network actually has made a few useful professional connections of the loose sort, similar to having a connection with someone you went to the same undergrad as
Anon
Yes! Rush made me able to talk to anyone about anything and that is a very valuable skill!!
iliketoknit
I went to a small liberal arts college without fraternities/sororities, in part because there was no Greek system – I had a very negative impression of it and didn’t want to take part. That said, I can see the benefit in a much larger institution where it’s harder to find your people (this wasn’t an issue for me in a school of 2000 and where everyone could take part in pretty much any activity they wanted, at some level), and I’m sure it varies a lot by school and chapter. And my tiny school had plenty of the in-groups (there was in theory a secret football fraternity) and issues with drinking etc. often attributed to Greek like. I mostly wanted to agree, though, that the people I know who seem to have had the most meaningful experiences and the most significant professional/networking benefits were members of Black sororities.
Vicky Austin
Rather than a sorority, I joined a professional Greek society related to my major. I met a few lifelong friends, was president for a time (very difficult for me, but also spurred some very necessary growth), and got a paid internship out of connections made while helping throw our main event.
I’m barely involved now. I considered being involved after college, but one of my friends graduated a few years ahead of me and was an alumni advisor for a time, and it was so full of dramatic backstabbing and people scuffling for promotions (for a volunteer position!) that she noped out after a while, so I didn’t even try. I do have it on my LinkedIn, just in case it’s worth something, sometime.
Once a sister....
I joined a sorority as an undergrad (about 20+years ago) at a New England high profile school. Greek life has long suffered from the same problems found elsewhere on campus when there is too much alcohol consumption – but I never felt pressue to participate in unhealthy behavior and felt that my chapter officers led by example. I felt that my collegiate time as a sister was a safe space to take on leadership responsibilities that spanned both my college and a national organization. Now, as an alumna, it has been a core component of my network and when landing somewhere new, I reach out to the network to find people to connect to. I share job opportunities there, before going to my college/bschool networks.
Anonymous
Yes, I was in a sorority. I did not know much about them, but my best friend was pledging so I did too. The experience was good for me in many ways. I spent time with different types of people that I might not have otherwise met, which is one way I learned about just how different people can be. There were some very accomplished women in the sorority, and even though we weren’t particularly close, they showed me what it was possible to do and be. There were also some difficult people involved, and it was painful at the time, but I learned something about politely dealing with people I disliked.
Belonging to a sorority did not help me in my career, there are just so many other ways to network. But, that might differ depending on the type of career. I really hate this “abolish Greek life.” It so much easier to tear down things that someone else has built than to go out and create your own.
Mrs. Jones
I was in a sorority at a private school in the south and enjoyed it. About 40% of students were Greek, and it was really just another activity, as opposed to a way of life. I’m still in touch with several sisters and have been active as an alum. Sorority membership hasn’t influenced my career at all.
Anonymous
I don’t think that it helped my career so much as gave me a network of upper-class women who established that 1) getting into med school is awfully d*mn competitive very early on (as a first-gen student, I was smart enough to do anything, or so I was told my whole life, and some cold water on that mentality was helpful to have), 2) your first apartment will often have roommates so keep in touch with people when you are moving to a new city or need to fill a room in your apartment, 3) you may need a job and a PT job when you starting out (your resume job and your more-money job).
No career counselor told me this. Seeing my sisters and their big-bigs live it after graduation and hearing stories at homecoming was so very helpful going from a blue-collar world to a Working Girl world.
Anon
Oooh +1 to all of this. I’d never considered this but I very much credit my sorority experience for teaching me these types of things as well as helping me pass as upper class post graduation. I would have felt so much more uncomfortable my first few years working in a male dominated field full of people who came from money if not for my sorority experience. I picked up on all sorts of things from random slang rich people use, to knowing what certain rich-people activities are, etc.
Seventh Sister
I went to a women’s college that didn’t really have sororities, but I was in a club-type group where I made most of my closest friends. We are still good friends today despite distance/kids/no kids/etc. I was strongly opposed to the concept of sororities as a high school student in the early 90s, though some of this was to piss off my mom because she’d been in one and loved it. Also, I was a drama club nerd and sorority girls seemed like former head cheerleaders (not in a good way).
A couple of my law school friends had been in sororities, and were kind of “meh” on the experience, but had liked it because they’d gone to large universities and it was a way to belong to a smaller group. I’ve had several interns who were in sororities, and they were *terrific* in terms of being sociable, getting along with others, fitting in – the kind of soft skills that other interns often lacked.
Anonymous
Went to an expensive private school and dropped out during rush. The sorority girls for all but one house were out of my league, skiing at Gstaad, etc. Instead I did band and travelled with our amazing football team.
editrix
Kat, I was a in Auntie M’s house at NU back in the 1980s. I was not a typical member or joiner but I felt kinship with some of the members during rush, and as a very young freshman from a town far from Chicago, I was looking for a place that felt like a home I could grow into. I wasn’t a very good sister (lots of fines for not showing up for phone duty) but I became a rush counselor with the idea that I could help others like me to land in orgs and clubs where they would feel at home. NU was rarified then, and it’s hard for my contemporaries to relate to the anti-Greek sentiment among women who (as we see it) willingly signed up for an experience that has had a lot of benefits and lifelong friendships for many of us. In visits over the years I’ve seen that the house is far more diverse than it was when I lived there. My ears are open.
Anon
I’m a sorority dropout. I went to a smaller private school with top tier academics. A surprisingly large percent of the students were in Greek life but I’m sure it’s very different than the Greek life at large party schools. I had a close guy friend and spent a lot of time at his fraternity so I ended up pledging his frat’s sister sorority. I liked the idea of being in a sorority way more than I liked the actual experience. I never became close to any of my sorority sisters and the endless meetings (so many meetings!) took time away from academics and from the real friends I’d met through the dorms, classes and my other extracurricular activities. My sorority didn’t have a house when I pledged, which was a selling point – I wanted to stay in the dorms with my closest friends – but also prevented us from getting super close the way girls who live in the same house do. Then they acquired a house while I was a student, and there was pressure to move into it, and I got really sick of the drama and ended up quitting.
On the other hand, my (real, non-sorority) friends and I ended up getting close with guys at several fraternities and we spent a ton of time at them and even became official ‘friends of the house’ at one (contrary to popular opinion, we were actually just friends with the guys, not girls who’d slept with half the frat). In addition to hanging out there every weekend, attending formals and getting to tag along to all the cool rush outings (like baseball games and fancy restaurants), we got a whole network of guys that basically looked out for us like older brothers. I know sketchy stuff goes down at fraternity parties – I was aware of it then and am even more aware of it now – but for me fraternities were a very positive part of my college experience. Zero regrets about noping out of my sorority though!
NYU Alum
I was in a sorority at NYU, and echo what others have said, about it being a nice way to find a home within such a large community (with athletics, improv, certain academic programs being another avenue.) My sorority was fairly diverse (about similar to the overall NYU women’s community) and prided itself on its members being great students and overachievers when it came to internships. Probably because there were so many opportunities, I felt like there were very few of the negatives of Greek life.
I remember my grand-big being the first person at school to ask where I was interning that summer as a freshman (and being horrified I wasn’t done recruiting yet!) I found it to be very motivating, and there were definitely professional benefits. For example, there at least two or three internships that were practically passed around the house because one girl would refer another to take it the next semester. (Totally understand that this is the type of ‘privilege hoarding’ that many people take issue with about.)
It didn’t help me much with tangible professional benefits, but I felt like it set me up with good skills like initiating coffee chats with the older members, learning how to navigate networking functions (recruiting), and being mindful of the organization’s reputation (e.g. we need members to attend this Panhel event or it will look bad- same thing happens at work.)
Incidentally, it was at a Greek event hosted by a fraternity that I first became interested in business school. They hosted an admissions consultant on law & b-school applications, and I was inspired, having never considered it before. I’ll be graduating from b-school in May, so my thanks to that fraternity, I suppose!
College Networking
I went to a Big Ten school (in the 90s) and not only was I in a social sorority, but I was also a Little Sister at a Fraternity and part of Alpha Phi Omega (national service fraternity). My older sister was in the same sorority. Some of my life long friends are from those three organizations. I stayed involved in many different capacities as an alumnae – Housing board president, advisor, etc for my sorority as well as APO. When I moved for my first job out of college, I was able to find new friends in a new city thanks to my sorority and APO. When I moved to Chicago, I ended up finding friends in the university alumni association instead, and already had friends I reconnected with in the area from my college organizations.
I was studying engineering, so being involved in a few organizations allowed me to have someone else plan my social life and I felt like I could pick and choose between the various events the three organizations held. While at school, the three organizations gave me the opportunity to build a larger network of tutors (ie upper classmen), folks to tutor (peers / underclassmen) and study buddies. This network really helped me solidify my educational knowledge and further developed some of my soft skills I am known for today (development, cultural broker, etc). Ohh and having access to several binder systems also helped with my studies.
By way of advancing in my career. Did my sorority network help me advance, not directly, but the soft skills I was able to hone by being a part of various organizations did. I struggle with the idea of abolishing organizations that allow people to feel like they have a home, allow you to meet people from different walks of life, having different interests than one self, and different ages. These organizations provide super growing experiences which is an intrinsic part of college. Now should some of them be reformed on the partying / hazing / exclusive front? Yes! I would rather see the organizations grow and improve vs tear something that steeped in history and gives young adults an identity through college and beyond. If I wasn’t in a sorority, I may not have a life long girl friend that goes to football games with me, a friend who can answer my crazy bug questions, someone I could lean on when I moved to a new city, etc. These are all ladies who weren’t in my classes and I would not have met otherwise.
bellatrix
Also a Northwestern alum, and a sorority member, in the late ’90s. (I’ve been following the Abolish Greek Life movement there, and it’s giving me a lot to think about. I had a very good experience, but I can recognize how the Greek system perpetuates some gross structures. At the time I just accepted it, and I guess I still do — which is kind of a sign that the system mostly works for me, and that’s surprising to realize. So it’s giving me some things to process.)
I wouldn’t say my sorority experience had direct career benefits (like I got an internship because I was in the same house as the hiring manager, that kind of thing). And because NU’s chapter of my sorority was quite different than chapters on other campuses, I’ve never really felt like I fit in when I’ve tried to join alumnae groups in other cities. Maybe it’s self-fulfilling, who knows. But sorority membership definitely helped improve my confidence and social skills — soft skills, as someone said above. Could I have gotten those things through other campus groups? Yes, and I was involved in other groups that probably did contribute as well. But I really benefited from having a group to identify with (even if we were a low-tier sorority) and a place to call home, and you don’t get that as much from church groups or the campus paper (or at least I didn’t, though I did a lot with both, and loved both).
Anon
Didn’t get a chance to post on this yesterday.
I went to a tiny state school where Greek life had kind of an outsized presence on campus given how many people actually participated. I was encouraged to rush in my junior year by a classmate of mine who assured me that there were a lot of women “just like me” in her chapter – motivated students with professional ambitions. I rushed and was dismayed that all the way through the process the talk was mostly about clothes, parties and who was getting engaged soon. That wasn’t what I was looking for. I got a bid, thought twice, and turned it down, after which none of my supposed new best friends ever spoke to me again. It was fine as I had other extracurriculars I was involved (some of which contributed to my scholarships) and between those and school I realized I never could have made the time commitment of a sorority work out.
Flash forward almost 25 years later after college, no one I know talks about what sorority they were in in college. The last time I heard anyone mention it as part of professional life was maybe 15 years ago in casual lunch conversation. Part of my job is reading resumes and about one in 50 mentions sorority or fraternity membership; usually it’s a new graduate. I have had hiring managers look at resumes that mention Greek org membership and literally say “ew” and move the resume to the discard pile. More than once. If people want to join these types of organizations, fine, but realize that the takeaway is going to be whatever you learn from the experience while you’re in it, and not some kind of mythical amazing network you’ll have access to later. 5-10 years after college no one talks about college any more. And also realize that while you may have gotten value from the organization you joined, there are a LOT of people out there who think Greek systems are inherently racist, sexist and violent, and will look down on you for talking about your membership. I think there are more of those people out there than people who think otherwise.
JTM
I’m a member of a historically Black sorority – I pledged my senior year of college. NPHC (the organizing body for historically Black fraternities & sororities) organizations stress lifelong membership, and it’s expected that you transition from your undergrad chapter to an alumni/alumnae chapter after you graduate. It’s very common to see people join these organizations after college, sometimes in their 40’s and 50’s. It’s also very common to see active members who have been members for 50+ years.
Because of the lifelong membership & expectation to be active throughout your life, I see the networking aspect to be more common within NPHC members. I routinely get recommendations or connections through that avenue. I’ve also made a ton of connections through regular community service with my sorority.
Anonymous
I was in college 20 years ago and I’m a member of an APIDA sorority and it was one of the best decisions that I made. I was also a student athlete so I had that team experience. Because we were small (never larger than 20 members), it was a good experience in the sense that there was still that intimate feeling and you got to know everyone in the house. We were intentional about those who ‘showed up’ and if you participated in more than the minimum required fundraisers (each quarter, we were required to attend at least 2 of the 5 fundraisers), a portion of the additional fundraising went to your house dues. Since I was on the exec board, I was usually at all of them and never actually paid for my dues out of pocket. I gave them my time.
During my time there, our small house also established a scholarship for local high school girls and collaborated with two other sororities (a Black and a LatinX) to create an event (it started off as a gala and then, turned into a carnival) where all proceeds went to this scholarship. Those friendships that I created were with women that I would have never met if it wasn’t for the sorority. After graduating college in California, I knew that I wanted to move out to Chicago and it was through sorority connections that I was greeted at the airport, lived with sorority alums in the Chicagoland area as roommates my first several years post-college and also was able to network amongst the alumnae organization to get my next job. The networking skills and putting myself out there with flyering/rushing were helpful, along with the interviewing process (I work in college admissions) as I find myself noticing additional details and not just ‘are they the right fit’ but ‘what can they bring to us and what can we offer to them’ to truly get the diverse student cohort.
It’s been 20 years and I’m still an active alumna member and appreciate all that the sorority has given me whether it was these amazing friendships, networking and interviewing skills, beauty tips (I learned how to curl my lashes, apply mascara, and blowdry my hair!), or event planning.
Laney
I am currently in a sorority and I have loved every second of it! I don’t think that is an important aspect, or if you didn’t do one in college then you didn’t have the right experience. I just think that I would not have the amazing connections I have if it wasn’t for my sorority. I also think that it is a great way to network with alumni or old friends in the future. I think that it has even me a lot of skills that I will take with me for awhile.
GDI
Yuck, no. I went a public u with the nation’s largest Greek system by population, not by percentage of students participating. The Greek system’s racism, classism, and anti-semitism were not for me. The Greeks openly noted that the Jewish sororities and fraternities were only allowed to be on the opposite side of campus from the rest of the Greek system but near the agricultural fraternities and sorority.