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Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Peplum Jacket

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Isabel Marant Peplum JacketHappy Monday! I love this burgundy wool peplum jacket by Isabel Marant — the darts, the jewel neckline… lovely. I might try adding a brooch or two (or three) to the shoulder area, but that's me. It's $955 at Barney's. Isabel Marant Peplum Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

222 Comments

  1. Darn, I want this jacket so badly. I usually hate – hate hate hate – peplum, but this one looks like it lies nice and flat instead of doing the weird poof thing, and I’m obsessed with the color. Considering the price of the jacket = 3 months of transportation expenses, there’s no way I’ll ever be purchasing, but still. Love. Sadface.

    1. I love it too but then this is one of my favorite colors. I’m so excited that it seems to be a popular color for the fall.

    2. I like it, too. But, maybe this is weird, it totally reminds me of the bodices on the women in Dutch masters paintings.

      1. Yes! I think that’s why I love it so much – I went through a (very brief) “Renaissance wench” fashion phase in HS, so maybe it’s giving me flashbacks.

    3. It’s not in any way comparable, but I got a knit jacket in that color from the Limited a few weeks ago, and I love, love, love it. I was initially worried that I would have trouble matching it with other colors, but I’ve had to deliberately stop myself from wearing it more than twice a week. It’s very flattering, goes with a lot, and more structured than most knit jackets I’ve seen. (It looks more red, as opposed to burgundy, on my monitor than it does in real life, IMO.)

      http://www.thelimited.com/product/soft-topstitched-jacket/2826098.html?ppid=c32&start=32&cgid=jacket-blazer&dwvar_2826098_colorCode=559

      2. Wow, I really like it too. Just ordered it in green, as the red has already sold out in my size….

        2. Online there’s a buy 3 items, get 50% off everything sale. I threw in a couple of scarves…

          1. I can’t see this offer online (but there’s the buy one jacket get one free promo). Is there a code?

    4. PSA: Jcrew Factory stores have a double-serge wool pencil skirt in a very similar color for fall (30% off through Weds.).

  3. Survey: does this dress read as “work” or “cocktail”? I’d wear it with a black sweater over it. It’s for a client meeting; I’m in financial services; men usually do “creative formal” for these meetings (Euro cuts, colorful socks); likely the only woman. I don’t mind if it works for cocktail AND work, but if it doesn’t feel “work”, I’ll find another option.

    http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/sienna-printed-sheath-dress

    1. Forgot to add – the fabric has a sheen to it. Without that, I wouldn’t hesitate to wear it for work occasions.

    6. I’ll be the voice of dissent and say that I could see it for work, with VERY conservative styling and a sweater or jacket.

      1. I agree – would definitely wear it to work with a cardigan or jacket. It’s a little shiny but it’s not glittery or sparkly. I love the stained glass pattern.

      2. +1. I think actually a colored blazer over it with conservative tights/heels would make it look more work appropriate than even a black blazer. Something about borderline dresses and black blazers makes me think someone just figured throw a jacket on and it’s fine. The coordination makes it seem intentional.

        1. This is an interesting point – never thought of it that way, but I think I might agree.

          And, I’m happy to see others thinking this would be work appropriate – I think it’s a beautiful dress and conservatively cut enough that, while on the fancy side, I really don’t think it’s cocktails-only.

      3. I saw this topic and thought I’d ask for opinions on a dress I have.

        I have a black slightly stretchy slight sheen dress from Black House White Market (you know the typically BHWM fabric…). It has a v neck that can be too low so I usually wear a fun scarf with it to avoid any clea*vage issues. It has three quarter length sleeves and gathers slightly on one side.

        I usually wear it in the late fall with black pumps and tights. In order to avoid being too black I usually wear a scarf and earrings with a bit of color.

        A guy I work with said – looks like you have a cocktail event to attend after work. I was like nope, just felt like wearing this today. This was last fall BTW. I know he didn’t mean it as an insult but cocktail attire was not what I was going for at work.

        2. I’d say this dress sounds like it’s more appropriate for evening.

          Generally, anything with a sparkly sheen is more evening.

        3. Cle-avage isn’t usually a good idea but other than that the dress sounds work-appropriate, assuming the scarf really does cover your cle-avage. Men don’t know from cocktail attire, anyway.

      4. Wow, glad I checked back. Maybe there’s hope? My styling would be black drape cardigan and either nude pumps or black pumps.

        1. Anonymous, why are you glad you checked back? Because this sounds like a train wreck (ha ha)? I guess I’ll just save it for out of work occasions but now I kind of feel like an idiot for wearing it to the office. I think I’m fashion disabled.

          1. Hang on – one guy and one commenter thinks your dress, which the commenter has never seen, was not appropriate for work? I’m familiar with WHBM and while some of their dresses skew a bit body-conscious, I think others are quite appropriate for work. Also, I hate to stereotype men, but I think most guys are probably not the best arbiters of cocktail vs. workwear. I think a lot of guys think all but the plainest clothes = date night.

            In other words, I’d gather more data before making a decision about either the appropriateness of the dress or your fashion skills.

          2. Yeah anonymous was talking about her own question- which you hijacked. She is saying she is glad she checked back because some people thought her dress could work with the right styling. Your dress sounds like it could go either way- in general if you don’t feel comfortable probably don’t wear it, but no need to feel like an idiot.

          3. No, not at all- I saw a couple dissenters! I had a similar situation about 2 years ago (“You must be headed somewhere fancy tonight!”) so my radar is definitely broken. Nothing but sympathy here!

      5. I’d totally wear it to work. i dont think its dressy enough for a c0cta!l dress

  4. I’m really over oxblood (ugh that name), and not into peplums that have a gap, so yay, I guess I don’t have to spend this month’s rent on this jacket!

    What autumnal activities are you ladies looking forward to this season? I’m really looking forward to flannel on the weekends, taking back up knitting, and hot cider!

    1. Well, it’s still really hot here, so I have to wait awhile. But I have been knitting in my well-air conditioned house during football. I’m finishing an alpaca scarf that I started last year and put down. I’m determined to finish the 3 projects I’ve left half done. Really more than half done. I have a toddler sweater that my colleague’s daughter could wear. It wasn’t for anyone so I put it down to do something else and never finished it. And an adorable A-line sweater for my favorite 5 yo. The sleeve is so f-ing complicated that I haven’t finished it.

      I am a lover of sweaters, tights, boots. I can’t wait to be able to wear them!

    2. I love oxblood and will never ever be over it, especially if paired with certain shades of blue.
      But peplums are very much take it or leave it in my book (although lately I have been wearing my two peplum tops with sweaters over them and I like the way that looks, kind of like a little tutu peaking out but in a totally acceptable for a grown up sort of way).

      Hot cider and mulled wine are my go to fall/winter staples. I also love to get a bucket of apples at a farm stand and then spend a week making apples cakes and apple fritters. Maybe this year I’ll actually pick my own. That’s always my plan and then I get lazy and just go for the farmer’s market bucket.

      1. I was also going to say hot cider and mulled wine! And add pumpkin anything (pie, beer, bread, cookies, lattes…); whiskey and apple cider c*cktails; apple picking; fall foliage; hiking in said fall foliage; fuzzy socks, sweaters, and boots; and my favorite holiday of all, Thanksgiving.

        I really like fall, in case yall can’t tell.

        1. My love of all things pumpkin is well known in my family, so my sister is taking me for a pumpkin body wrap next weekend!

      2. I took the kids apple and pear picking this weekend, and made apple scones and an apple pie. Yum!

        1. That sounds delicious. And I am all in on pumpkin flavored everything, too. Just saw an ad for pumpkin spice english muffins and am unreasonably excited to try them.

    3. There is no winter where I live, so am spending all my time in the pool. Learned freestyle this mont and plan to pick up the butterfly soon.

      1. I’m trying to learn to swim too. I can get across the pool but I’ve never learned proper technique. My gym has a nice heated Olympic size lap pool, and I just got an underwater music player to make it more fun. So far it’s still a whole lot easier for me to run a mile than swim across the pool just once, but I’m working on it.

    4. There’s an orchard near us so I’m looking forward to going there and picking up pumpkins and apple cider. I do a lot of crockpot cooking the fall so that’s exciting too. Maybe some hiking as well.

    5. Mine is always sweaters and tall boots — and FOOD! Pumpkin muffins and pumpkin bread, homemade applesauce with MacIntosh apples, gingerbread, and roasted winter vegetables like acorn squash and brussels sprouts.

  5. Gorgeous jacket!!!

    Now on to my threadjack. I bought this skirt for my upcoming tiny wedding @ city hall. I love it, but I have no idea what to pair it with. It would obviously look great with so many things like a black t-neck, embroidered sweater or a jean jacket, but I don’t need to dress it down, I need to make it feel a bit more bridal. It’s very hard to match the ivory, so I think something not quite white/off white is required. Blush? I am having a really hard time finding something appropriate. To complicate things the wedding is — GASP — next Wednesday so I need something that I can pick up in store or will ship quick.

    PS: I have a different dress I was originally going to wear before I completely fell for this skirt but it feels so boring now and this skirt just makes me feel so romantic. This was obviously a last minute switch but I really want to make it work. If I could just find the right top for it, I feel like it would be perfect. Please help me, wise stylish ones!

    http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/clothes-skirts/28439511.jsp?cm_sp=Fluid-_-28439511-_-Regular_20

    2. Beautiful skirt! I think a simple fitted blush top would be lovely.

      Congratulations!

      2. Yes agreed – a fitted blush top would look amazing. The skirt is so pretty and has a great romantic vibe. Congratulations!

    3. Gorgeous skirt! I think blush or any pale pastel, like faded lavender, would look really pretty. To dress it up I would look for an embellished sweater, but I think it would look perfect with a simple silk shell or t shirt too.

      I had a tiny city hall wedding with a simple outfit too, and I loved it so much. Congratulations and have fun!

    5. I’d probably wear a pale pale blue sweater, in the finest lightest most luxurious cashmere could find, v-neck, with pearls. Beautiful skirt!

    6. Also to note: ivory is more forgiving when it comes to matching! Two slightly different ivories look fine where two slightly different whites might look wierd. I’d probably try to find an ivory top like the blush ones Diana Barry posted, but if you’re not looking for a monochromatic look, I second the ivory, or any pastel. If you don’t want pastels, a stronger look would be a saturated but not pure color, like a dark emerald green in a soft, fancy fabric.

        1. Nice jacket!

          The OP could theoretically just buy the ivory lace top the skirt is styled with online, and this top, if she doesn’t mind buying everything at one store.

    7. A soft gray sweater. I love gray, personally. Or light blue – and then you’re covered on your “something blue” (if you’re into that).

      1. Also, in case you didn’t look there for tops – Anthropologie has a number of great white/off-white blouses that’d look good with the skirt.

    9. J Crew has two sequined tanks that could work (in “vintage champagne” and “neon peach”) and are on sale ($30). I would tuck the ivory tank into the skirt. Search for heathered sequin tank.

    12. Depending on your style, but Dorothy Perkins has some blush tops that might work.

  6. Question: How do you tell the difference between allergies and a cold? I’ve had a tickle in my throat for a week now and generally am not feeling great, but it hasn’t developed into a full fledged cold. Does that mean it’s allergies? I have never had allergies in my life!

    1. My guess would be: not allergies; a tickle threatening to become a cold.

      Gargle with salt water 2x/day for a few days. Stay super hydrated. If you can, take an airborne once/day for a few days. That usually kicks it for me (but obviously airborne isn’t recommended for pregnant women, so idk if you can have it while nursing). Feel better!!

    2. I never had allergies until I suddenly developed them at 25 so it’s possible.
      Honestly what works for me is to take a zyrtec or claritin. If I feel better, it’s allergies. If I don’t, it’s a cold. I also tend to feel achy when I have a cold but my allergies are confined to nose/eyes/throat. But everyone is different. I hope you feel better.

      1. Thanks! Great advice. I know I’ve been lucky not to have allergies so far, but I’m going to be super annoyed if I’ve suddenly developed them.

      2. I suddenly (after living for decades in the allergy capital of the world) developed allergies at age 27. Then, after a few years of barely managing the constant sneezing on with Zyrtec (which is expensive to take daily!), they went away almost entirely while I was pregnant and didn’t come back (yet). So, win?

      3. I suddenly got a million allergies in the last two years. Very annoying!

        Loradatine (brand name Claritin) works for me. I buy the extra cheap tablets and take one a day.

    3. Allergies, for me, included really ichy eyes, a constantly running nose (either out the nostril or down the back of my throat). I always found sucking on a piece of hard candy actually stopped my nose from running (something about producing saliva).

      Colds include a general worn down feeling where I’d much rather be sleeping, a stuffy head, which turns into a congested chest, which might travel back up to my head.

      1. If you sleep more than usual for a week, and drink lots of water, and it doesn’t go away, and antibiotics don’t treat it, then I’d get tested for allergies.

        Either way, antihistamines work to clear up runny nose and drippy mucus, whether it’s allergies or a cold. Nasal decongestants help to get rid of a stuffed-up head feeling. (If the fluid is running out of your face, it’s antihistamine you should reach for.)

        Colds are usually caused by viruses, which should go away on their own in a week if you take care of yourself (sleep and water, mostly).

        For my allergies, which I developed as a teen but that changed in my 30s, I take the Costco version of Zyrtec, called Aller-Tec. It’s about $15/bottle, and the bottle has 360 tablets. That’s a year’s worth of meds for $15.

  7. I think this jacket is just sad (tm Nina Garcia).

    Can we talk Emmys fashion? What did everyone think? I liked the dresses on Emilia Clarke, Tina Fey, and Christina Hendricks. Did NOT like Claire Danes’s no bra look or Heidi Klum’s choker thing.

    Also, I am very excited about “Homeland” coming back. More Rupert Friend, yes please!!!

    1. When Claire Danes was talking to Ryan Seacrest, I thought the dress looked good, but when I saw full-length pictures, I thought it was awful. What was Julianne Hough thinking? Kerry Washington looked great on TV but the pictures just looked weird. The color of January Jones’ dress looked too matching with her skin on TV. On TV, I thought Christina Hendricks’ dress was very pretty and flattering but it lost something in the photographs.

      I loved Connie Britton’s dress. Also Julia Louis-Dreyfus (although her hair looked awful), Cobie Smulders, Aubrey Plaza, Allison Williams (beautifully simple and the color), Julie Bowen (the pink!), Giuliana Rancis were among my faves.

      1. I did like Connie Britton’s and Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s. (thought the latter needed a brighter lip, though.)

      2. Loved-

        -Christina Hendricks (especially her reference to Sargent/Madame X that totally flummoxed Seacrest)
        -Michelle Dockery (slightly evocative of Nicole Kidman from a few years ago, but I loved hers too)
        -Jessica Pare, although it could have fit her better in the bust
        -Zooey Deschanel
        -Allison Williams – stunning color

        WTF-

        -January Jones (though I thought it was funny when she was asked whether she’d considered other options, and she kind of said “well they custom made it for me…” like she couldn’t really say um, never mind, once she had it on
        -Julianne Hough (too messy looking and I’m over the granny panties + overlay trend)
        -Lena (beautiful fabric but not flattering at all thanks to the top – same dress but strapless/straight across neckline would have worked, no?)

      3. I think Claire Danes was 2 extra inches of dress strap away from looking ah-mah-zing. For the first second that I looked at the picture, I was thinking “great dress,” then the whole top part registered, and I thought “oh, bummer.” It just looked like the whole thing was hanging 2 inches too low on her.

    2. I haven’t caught up on most of the looks yet, but I actually thought Claire Danes looked better than her usual go-to look and I loved her shorter haircut (though a better fit, with bra, would have been even better).

      And can I just say — Julia Louis Dreyfus looked amazing. Better than she did 20 years ago. I have no idea what she is doing but I really hope that I can age the same way so that I look better at 52 than I do now at 32.

    3. I liked how Zosia Mamet looked, but her dress, specifically the black patch on the front, was awful.
      The back of Michelle Dockery’s dress was extremely odd.

      1. I L O V E D the back of Michelle Dockery’s dress. AMAZING. I only wish the front hem had hit the ground. But the dress overall, just stunning. Also, loved Zooey Deschanel’s simple, structural silver blue gown. That color was gorgeous with her hair and eyes.

    5. Kerry Washington was my fave. Also liked Tina Fey, Mayim Bialik (her dress was a little wrinkly but otherwise I thought it was great), Jessica Pare and Julia LD. Claire Danes was a near miss.

  8. Two fashion-related questions (for once):

    1) I realize this is a no-brainer for most, but I can’t figure out what kind of tights/shoe combo work with the navy skirts I have as the weather gets cooler. Any suggestions?

    2) I’m on the hunt for a cute, non-frumpy weekend/commuting shoe that I can trek around the city in for hours. I have terrible foot problems so no heels and the more cushion the shoe has, the better. Looking for a sporty flat or a sleek sneaker (walking, not gym).

    Thanks, gang!

    1. Grey tights! Or if you like colors, pretty much any color. Maroon, mustard, emerald all go great with Navy.

      I just purchased Keen Mercer MJs in black (sold out now on Zappos but available elsewhere). Not sure if that’s non-frumpy enough, but my knee problems are getting worse wearing ballet flats to commute in, so if they’re good, I’ll let you know. http://www.zappos.com/keen-mercer-mj-cnx-shitake?zfcTest=fcl%3A0

    2. I do black tights + shoes with navy if the navy is bright enough and I make sure it looks intentional. I would also do navy tights with black shoes.

      Grey tights and grey shoes could look good if the greys really matched.

    4. With navy skirts I do brown tights, and shoes that are brown or burgundy. Others here have suggested gray or charcoal tights with navy, which I think could work also.

    5. I’ve plugged these before and I’ll plug them again: http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=38025&vid=1&pid=413747002

      I have never worn more comfortable shoes. Plus I feel like a ballerina in them. They are available in suede (I have the black suede) and in other colors, too, if you google, but piperlime has everything for 20% off so posted that link.

      I do black tights and shoes, or navy tights and burgundy shoes. I think navy tights can also look nice with dark, rich brown shoes, purple or navy (obviously) and maybe gray – but you have to play around a bit with the shades.

    7. Match your tights to your shoes or to your skirt. I like bright pumps (yellow, red, pink, etc) with navy and so I wear navy tights. If I wore black or brown pumps I’d wear black or brown tights.

      I know you said sneaker or flat, but I have Born Trisha boots and I absolutely love them. I walked two miles in them the very first time I wore them.

      1. Second this advice. I like a sleeker line so I will either wear brown tights & brown shoes or navy tights and a more “fun” shoe (dark green, snakeskin, etc).

      2. Third this. I hate it, because I really want to wear different colors for all three pieces, but matching tights to either the skirt or the shoes looks so much better on me.

    9. I really like Puma’s ballerina flats for a sneaker type shoe to commute in. They’re pretty comfortable and usually if you’re not picky on color, you can find some on sale for about $30

    10. Anyone else feel too self-conscious in colored tights? I don’t know what it is about it, I’m slowly wading into the waters with gray but haven’t been brave enough for colors or patterns.

    11. Thanks, all! This is helpful. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to get navy tights. I guess because I have trouble with the shoe issue. In the summer, I wear nude-to-me shoes, but since that’s an extremely pale color, it looks weird with tights.

      Thanks!

      1. I know it’s on trend, but I still feel uncomfortable in shoes that are lighter than my tights.

  9. Asking a question on behalf of my husband. He’s an attorney but has been working on the business side for the last couple of years and has no interest in returning to practice. He’s currently COO of a legal services-related start-up, which he has really enjoyed. The company, though, might not ultimately make it and, with two little ones on the way, he’s completely stressed about possibly being unemployed by the middle of next year. The problem (aside from potential unemployment) is that he doesn’t know what kind of job he might be qualified for. Obviously the law degree is a good credential (and it’s from a top ten school) and he now has experience in product development, management (the company has a staff of about eight), whatever it is when you oversee the development of a complex database/interface tool (an outside developer has been doing the design and coding, but he’s the PoC and has been providing the business requirements and working with them to fix bugs etc.), and just the wide, wide range of hats and habits you have to wear when you’re working in a start-up. In his early 30s, he’s had a lot of experience and responsibility that most people wouldn’t have at his age and a variety of experience that most attorneys in the DC area just don’t ever see.

    He’d love to go to a professional who could help him sort through his background and experience and identify good career paths and the best way to present himself to be appealing to people in those industries. He’s wary, though, of general “career counselors” who often seem to just give you the Myers-Briggs test and StrengthsFinder and send you on your way. Can anyone provide any insight on what sort of counselor he should be looking for (if they exist) and what type of credentials etc. he should ask for? We just have no idea where to start. TIA!

    1. For the OP, I would have him talk to a HEAD-HUNTER, b/c they know where they can place him. Head-Hunter’s get a percentage of salary for placeing him, so they are the best to see what they can do for him. Usueally, you will NOT have to pay the Head-Hunter; that is the responsibility of the firm that is LOOKEING for your husband. You are VERY lucky to have such an accomplished husband! I hope to have the same soon. YAY!

      Question for the HIVE:

      My dad called me up last nite to chew me OUT for NOT dateing Sam. Evidently Sam called dad to complain that I am pusheing him off even after DAD gave him the green light. I told dad he has NO BUSNESS butteing into my personal life and handing me over to SAM, like a peice of MEAT. Dad say’s he is tired of doeing all of my book-keepeing and he want’s to retire and hand it over to a guy like ED, but Ed is busy with Rosa, and I should be MARRIED at this point with my OWN MAN to do all of the financeal stuff.

      I told dad I was MORE then capable of doeing my own financeal stuff, and that I did NOT have to be married to be independent. Morover, I told him that I am admitted to the NYS Bar, and I did that on my own, so if I have to, I can pay my OWN bills and manage my own credit card’s. Dad said that Sam is good for me and that I should date him and marry him. I told him he picked his nose, and he said “so what?” He said he was alot worse and mom married him!

      Dad left me feeleing guilty that I have NOT given Sam a fair shake. I think I have, tho. What does the HIVE think? Should I date him? I have troubel thinking of that Temper Pedic matress and sleepeing with him. FOOEY!

    2. Look at the JSSA web site under Employment. (JSSA = Jewish Social Social Service Agency but you don’t need to be Jewish to be a client.) They offer group and one-to-one sessions. Their job search boot camp is good–sells out almost immediately; next openings are in December–but they still have openings for their Executive Boot Camp (www DOT jssa DOT org SLASH jobsearchbootcamps) in November.

      I worked with Judy Smith to sharpen my resume, cover letters, and overall outlook on what had been a discouraging search. I found her high-energy, focused, direct, and helpful in accepting the reality of this challenging job market and strategizing my responses. Cost is not outrageous; sliding fee scale is available; and I didn’t have to wait months to book an appointment.

      FYI JSSA’s Rockville/MD location is near or on bus lines, not near a Metro station, and has OK parking on site (sometimes lot is almost full but I’ve never _not_ found a space). I don’t know any similar details re their NoVa location.

      They have faciilties in NoVA and Rockville/Shady Grove and also do some of their presentations at branches of the Montg. County public library.

    3. This isn’t exactly what you’re asking, but it sounds to me as though he has already inventoried his skills, so the second lever of any jobsearch is function. What does _he_ want to do? He needs to do some mind-mapping of what would be his dream job or dream industry Other than being Mr. TBK/an amazing dad to twins, where does he want to be in 5 years? 10 years, etc.? In terms of presenting himself, he already sounds very self-aware. Especially in business, you don’t need an MBA to get ahead. His law degree shows he’s smart. Failing at a startup is practically a badge of honor, so that’s not a negative. I would encourage him to do some more self-evaluation and reading of job descriptions online at some of his “dream” companies to see if something strikes his fancy.

      I also highly recommend Melissa Llarena–a lot of my friends have used her as a career coach and really liked the results. She will work to tailor her services to your hubs’ needs. She’s an alum of my b-school, but I don’t know her. Google her.

      Hope that helps.

      1. Hi TBK,

        This is Melissa Llarena. One of my classmates from Tuck told me that my name was mentioned on this site. I offer a free 15-minute consultation so that I can better explain how I’ve helped clients in the past. The coaching industry is not heavily regulated so coaches usually do things differently. Visit my site: http://www.melissallarena.com to gain an understanding of how I work.
        If your husband has been out of school for 1-3 years or more than chances are he is no longer able to use his career services center….but he can try. Otherwise, let me know if you want us to chat and he can ask me specific questions about how I work and about my results. One caveat is that I don’t have a bag of jobs like head hunters but I am also not encouraged to push a particular job or another. Instead, I want your husband to land a job as soon as possible that he actually wants and ultimately I’d want him to be so convinced that I provided so much value that he would refer me to his acquaintances – in full transparency.

        -Melissa

    4. I think a headhunter, rather than career counselor, would be more appropriate. Has he reached out to career services at either his law school or undergrad? I think either might be able to smooth the way to seeking advice from the business school career counselors.

        1. Any suggestions on how to find a good executive recruiter? Are there any firms that are well-known and respected, or any specific things he should be looking for/asking about when talking to one?

          1. This is very specific to industry and location, so he should ask around and network like crazy. He can do coffees or lunches with alums in the area, he should probably meet multiple recruiters since a lot of them have exclusive relationships with particular companies. This has the added benefit of giving him a chance to practice his “story.” I have twins too and they are so much fun! Good luck!!!

    5. TBK- related to your post- I am interested in starting a small legal services company. Right now I just have some meetings set up and the ideas in my head. I don’t know if you or your husband would have any insight about that, but if you do, I would love to chat, or send you an email. If you’re not interested (I know you must be crazy busy with babies on the way!), it’s not a problem, just trying to gather as much information as possible.

      I can post an email address ? Or if you have an anonymous one already set up that would be great (I don’t, but I’ve been meaning to do it).

    6. TBK, I think your husband could be a great fit for other new/growing start ups, but the hard part is finding them. In addition to talking to recruiters, he could talk to local angel investors or venture capitalists to see if there are potential high-growth companies that might need him. Also, if there are business incubators in the area, networking with them might help too. Also see if there’s a local entrepreneur’s networking group that he can join (and it may relate to his current job, if he needs to have a cover story for his current employer.

      It’s probably going to take a lot of leg-work for him to land a position but you have a few months before the twins are born and doing something concrete should allay his fears while he researches a next position. Good luck to him.

  10. I recently bought a pair of heels with a leather sole. I adore them, but they are sooo slippery on hard surface floors and I am a major klutz. I’d love to have a rubber sole (or something like that) put on them to prevent a major wipe out. Is this something a cobbler or shoe repair place can do? If so, what is this called? (I don’t want to sound like an idiot when I go into the store!) How much should I expect to pay (large metropolitan city), and how long will it take?

    Thanks!

    2. This is definitely do-able! I would guess around $40 in a large metro city, but it largely depends on how large your shoes are (DH has this done with his new shoes and I think it costs him $50). You’re just asking for a rubber sole added — I don’t believe there’s any sort of special name.

    3. I have done this (added a sole with extra treading). It was $20 (midtown east MH) and took about 4 hours – I dropped them off in the morning and picked them up on my way home.
      You can also take scissors(in a hashtag pattern)/large grit sandpaper to the soles to give them some tread.

      1. I always rub my feet (w shoes on) back and forth and twist them on concrete or rough asphalt in parking lots to help roughen up the leather soles. Only once have I had to take them afterwards to the cobbler. For me, safer than the scissors!!!

        1. This is genius.

          I know dancers do things like this to rough up new soles, but I never thought of doing it myself.

    4. My reply either disappeared, or went into moderation, but google Foot Petals sole stopperz or Kiwi anti slip grip pads.

    5. Resoling with rubber a pretty common task for cobblers. Should cost between $20-40 depending on where you are, and could be done same day or take a week, just depending on the cobbler. If you’re in NYC and these are really nice shoes, Leather Spa is raved about by the ladies on the Purse Forum (the red sole on Louboutins wears off really easily, so they get them resoled with some special red Vibram rubber–though you obviously can get other colors).

  11. I’d start with his law school and undergrad career services. Mine kinda suck, to he honest, but they’d still be able to identify alums with similar backgrounds to talk to and provide a referral to a good career counselor. Off the top of my head, I’d think he’d be a great candidate for an in-house role.

    1. I think this was a reply to my post about my husband. I think in-house would be much of a lawyer role. He really, really hated being a lawyer and has zero interest in ever being one again. While his current start-up is legal services related, I think he’d prefer to get out of the law game altogether.

      1. He could do regulatory or risk work at a financial services firm. His law degree will be an asset, but it’s not a legal role.

        1. Yeah, that’s the kind of work that makes him want to tear his eyes out. He’s great with people, really great at creative problem-solving (I mean scary great at it), and loves learning new things. It’s the regulatory/compliance/nit-picky rules part of legal practice that made him so miserable.

          1. From my limited knowledge, it looks like he’d be good at project development, business development, and operations. He should talk to recruiters, but also just apply for the types of jobs where his current job skills would be an asset. I know tons of ex-lawyers who do pure business work – business development, sales, IP acquisitions, venture capital, etc. His start-up background would be appealing to a venture capital firm.

      2. Oh sorry, TBK, I read that as wanting to get back into practice. I’d also consider operations roles then- potential to use legal skills in terms of issue spotting/analysis, plus his experience with project management and the big picture would be great.

      3. Speaking of operations, what about Quality positions (like in a pharma/life sciences company)? They are compliance-oriented, but with a huge project management/problem solving and analysis components. So instead of checking boxes, it’s more “here’s the constraints, find a solution that meets X, Y, and Z requirements,” and analyzing why recurring problems crop up and how/if to solve them. They’re usually filled by engineers, but it sounds like your husband’s skill set is similar.

        1. That actually sounds like a role he’d totally thrive in. I’ll definitely suggest he look into it. Thanks!

      4. Would he consider COO type roles at other legal services firms, e.g. economic consulting? Their clients are law firms, so a law degree would be an asset, with the work having very little to do with law, and a lot to do with problem solving and management.

  12. My small office just purchased me an ipad because our local courts have requested evidence be presented electronically with ipads when possible. Because few of our cases actually make it all the way to trial and certain lawyers in my small office are not really interested in getting up on the technology, they only bought me one with the understanding that if anyone else in the office needs it for court they can use it. So basically it is an office ipad that I will have custody and control of.

    This obviously limits how I can use it. I’m not really comfortable having my email be the default email if that means others can access it when they share the ipad. I guess I can remote in to my email and check it that way.

    I’ve heard of an app that allows multiple accounts on an ipad but it seems limited to web based email and twitter and facebook and the like. Has anyone had to share an ipad at work and if so, any tips on how to make it work?

    I will be using the ipad 95% of the time so I want to make it function well for me while recognizing that 5% of the time someone else in my office will be using it.

    1. Is this your work email? Couldn’t you just delete/deactivate the account from the ipad settings (which should take down the contacts and calendar)? It might take a few minutes to re-load everything when you reactivate it, but that shouldn’t be too hard.

    2. The iPad is awful at multi-user accounts. I’m a very cautious person by nature – I would not want to share my work email/ calendar, my browsing history, etc, with anyone else at work, let alone have an iTunes/App Store account tied to me on a joint iPad. Unless you want to sign in and out each time, of every account, plus keep track of your apps and other items in case someone deletes them, you’re stuck.

      Unfortunately, I would resign myself to not using it unless you need to. See if your IT dept can set up a general email account (like “CompanyIpad@company.com”) to be the default address for the iPad and for the App Store. I’m not sure if the App Store would require credit card info, but if so, see if you can request a company credit card so your personal account isn’t open to others.

      1. My work is using an Office Manager email address for the apple ID and app store so the firm is purchasing all of the apps. The “companyipad” email address is a good idea for sending docs to the ipad. It is for work purposes so I wasn’t going to link my itunes or pictures or anything like that to it anyway. Though I may add a game or two like wordseek for waiting hours for my case to be called in court.

        We wanted to get a Surface so we could have the mutli-user accounts but our courts are really pushing the i-interface.

        I think I’m going to stick to remoting in to my work email. Part of the reason I got the ipad is because I do actually need it for part of my job – like going to certain websites with clients in meetings and showing evidence on it. The ipad will allow me to do that.

      2. I know of a workplace where the office manager has the itunes password and no one else can download anything to the ipads.

        But ipads really aren’t designed to be used by multiple users. I’d second the advice of others – use work email only via webmail login, don’t use it for personal web browsing, don’t link it to your personal itunes, avoid uploading music and pictures, and generally only use it for work purposes. Downloading work-related reading material is probably ok.

        That’s easy for me to say. I’d be awful tempted to play with that ipad.

    3. It is easy to disable an account and delete email and app data when you hand it over. It is also easy to re-enable the account. Just takes a few minutes each time. Go ahead and use it for your 95%, and then spend a few minutes deleting accounts before you hand it over.

      1. +1

        That’s what I’d do. Just make sure you have a list of what needs to be deleted each time.

  13. Happy Monday. I’ve been at the office for an hour and so far I’ve managed to:

    + Respond to a handful of emails
    + Paint my nails

    Slow start, ugh. Need motivation.

    1. My life. in a nutshell. except replace “paint my nails” with “remove nailpolish and spray perfume furiously to remove nailpolish remover smell from office”

      1. Oh goddess, please don’t spray perfume all over the place! This pregnant, smell-sentsitive lady begs you!

  14. Question – does anyone have any experience with the American Living line at J.C. Penny? I’m currently drooling over a jersey houndstooth dress by this line but wanted to get some feedback before i purchase.

    My understanding is that American Living is a Ralph Lauren brand, and I really like the jersey dresses by Lauren. How do the two lines compare in terms of quality? I’m asking because the price point for the American Living dress is comparable to what I would pay for a similar Lauren dress at T.J. Maxx or Marshalls (and I don’t want to spend the same amount of money for lesser quality).

    Thanks ladies!

    1. I’ve bought American Living brand things, and they are generally the quality of Arizona Jeans. Typical JCP store-brand.

      This is the first I’m hearing that they are related to Ralph Lauren.

    2. Yes, American Living is a Ralph Lauren brand. If I recall, they are ending their partnership and so that line will be going away soon.

      I actually think the quality is probably one of the higher end JCP brands but not to the level of Lauren. I’d say give it a try.

  15. I am loving so many of the new winter arrivals on Boden. I seem to recall that Boden usually has a 20 – 30% off sale shortly after their new clothing comes out. Can anyone verify?

    1. Absolutely. It was about a month ago for fall, so I suspect it should be any.day.now.

      I feel that the 11% discount with the catalogue is not even enough to cover shipping! Wish they would get on the “free shipping and returns” bandwagon. Maybe it’s because they cover the duty costs to USA?

      Sharing your love…hoping their new fit-and-flare dresses are as lovely as they look.

  16. Kind of a long shot…but are any [thissite] e t t e s going to Oktoberfest? I remember seeing a post from someone recently about a hair shop in Munich which have me hope!

    Signed,

    Way too far away for the usual meet-ups

      1. Ah nice! Well that excludes a meet up if its a firm event but have fun – and if you want to do a meet up outside of the wiesn let me know. :)

  17. My husband has told me repeatedly that this is a stupid, petty issue but I’d like to see if anyone has run into this?

    I’ve been at my current job for about 3 months. The two other guys in my department are really the only two people I work closely with. They go out for a full sit down lunch daily – sometimes a couple of other people outside our dept. will also join. At first I would go with them daily because I kind of felt obligated and didn’t want to make myself an outsider. I figured it’s office culture and I need to fit in.

    I’ve slowly tried to phase it out – I’ll tell them thanks for the invite but I’m going to just grab a salad from downstairs. One of the guys seems very annoyed when I don’t go with them. He’ll keep proding me – we can go to XYZ if you want to get a salad….or you know that the company is paying, come with us….

    – Money is not a factor because the company pays for these daily $15 – $20 per person lunches (which is crazy to me).
    – Time is a big factor for me – I hate wasting 1 – 1.5 hours of my day eating out for lunch.
    – And finally CALORIES! I have gained about 2 pounds from eating out everyday which straight up piss*es me off.

    I’ve never been affected by peer pressure but dang it these people just put it on me about these lunches. I’ve been dreaming of my previous eat lunch in peace practice. Any advice?? I’m guessing you all will just say – TELL THEM NO AND STICK TO YOUR GUNS….

    1. How is the company footing the daily bill for these lunches?? Strange. Are these colleagues your peers or your superiors that you need to impress? If they’re your peers, I would compromise and go out to lunch with them twice a week so that you are showing “team spirit” but not spending so much time on a daily basis eating out.

      1. Thanks for the response Legally Brunette. These two guys are my superiors which makes it harder. One is my direct supervisor and the other guy is his direct supervisor. One is single with no children and one is married with no children. I don’t have kids but I do enjoy my time in the evenings with my husband.

        I learned that the company was paying because I was feeling really guilty that they would never let me pay for my own lunch. I keep offering to pay for my fair share and finally they told me that the company picks up the tab and not to worry about it.

        1. If they are your superiors, I think you have to play the game and consider it part of your job functions. Building strong relationships with your superiors goes a long way. You probably end up talking cases at these lunches too and those portions can be billable depending on the content of the discussion. You will likely get assignments while at these lunches too. Since they are frequent, I wouldn’t feel bad about making substitutions to make your meals healthier.

          I get where you are coming from. My boss hates eating alone and loves to eat out so I end up eating out with him frequently. My husband always rolls his eyes and says “oh poor you, you had to eat out again at a fun restaurant with someone else paying.” The big issues for me, like you, is losing time. However, I realized that when I eat in my office, I usually screw off while eating and lose time there too. Instead of seeing it as an hour and a half lost it is more like a half hour when I factor in what I would have lost anyway plus the time I do get to bill from the lunch. Often we review a document or brainstorm a cross examination or something like that. It isn’t all social.

          That social adds up though too. My boss knows everyone in town and every time we are out, I meet more important people in my city. The compromise I made is if I’m actually on a deadline, I decline. Otherwise, I go. I have even gone AFTER I had eaten lunch and just got a drink and a dessert. They knew I had already eaten but still wanted me to go.

          1. Yes. If this is your boss and your boss’s boss, this is a mandatory work event and you need to suck it up and go. I’d say minimum three times a week. Just order something small and healthy.

        2. Do you have too much work to do and as a result are staying late/etc because of the lunches? If not, because they are your supervisors, I would keep going but save one day a week for your own sanity.

          I would get a salad, dressing on side, fidget as much as possible otherwise for the calorie worry.

        3. In addition to my comments below, yes, you need to go to a few of these with your supervisors. Lunches can be a good time to get informal mentoring and discuss actual work issues. So while you may feel like you are wasting time, it may be salvageable.

    2. I agree with you and would be similarly annoyed for the exact same reasons you are. I don’t like wasting 1.5 hours for lunch and I don’t like to eat a big lunch. Even a restaurant salad on a daily basis would add up.

      I would tell them no and stick to your guns, but I do get how difficult that can actually be. What if you pick two days a week and go on those days and keep three days for your peaceful lunch at your desk.

    3. It sounds like it is an office culture, especially if the company supports this practice by paying for it. I think you should probably join them a few times a week. Are you otherwise socializing within the company? I have a very social office and there is an expectation of participation for some of the following: group lunches, celebrations, happy hour, company parties, hallway chatter, etc. You don’t have to join in for every event, but you should pick and choose a few to participate in if it matters to your office.

    4. Thanks all for the responses. In response to Mascot – I am a very outgoing, social person. I am probably making myself sound like an introvert in this discussion but I’m not. I’m just overwhelmed with the amount of out of work things that occur. I have attended two games at our company’s suite at the football stadium so far this season. I have also attended numerous work sponsored happy hour events. Maybe I am I putting too much pressure on myself about this, I tend to do that.

      1. It sounds like this office just has a ton of social events, and it’s part of the office culture.

        You should make sure you are doing most of them, if most people do. You don’t want to be the one woman that doesn’t do XYZ.

        Lunches with colleagues (especially supervisors!) can be very valuable for your career. I think it is a mistake to pass them up. Order side salad and water if you’re worried about calories.

        I think in general, if your boss is inviting you to do something, you should take that opportunity.

        Read Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office, by Dr Lois Frankel. This is a “know your office” kind of thing, and it sounds like you are going against the office culture.

    5. I think the issues is that you haven’t gotten into a routine with them, which is uncomfortable for everyone. Can you establish a routine with them – you eat out with them on set days (Tues, Wed, Fri e.g.) and then have a reason for what you do the other days (run errands, etc.)? It might be a little weird to set up but I think it is easier to become comfortable with someone doing something different when you know what to expect.

    6. S*ck it up and go. I would hate it too, for the same reasons you gave, but clearly they want you to go and if you don’t you’ll end up being the odd woman out. Probably they feel a bit guilty about taking advantage of the company’s paying for meals and feel a bit like you’re judging them for it, even if you aren’t.

  18. Hi Veronique,

    I just purchased these shoes in black and noticed that they came in caramel too. They might be darker than your skin tone but sometimes the color in the online pictures isn’t accurate. I haven’t received my shoes yet so I can’t comment on comfort. I have a slightly lighter complexion than yours and haven’t found a “nude for me” pump either, so if you find something do let me know!

    http://www.anntaylor.com/eryn-exotic-embossed-leather-heels/315325?colorExplode=false&skuId=14159787&catid=cat660016&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=6600

  19. Styling threadjack–

    What colors go with mustard yellow? I have a v-neck cardigan (with gold buttons) that I’d love to wear this fall, but am having trouble pairing it. So far I have an ivory dress, and brown tweed trousers + ivory shirt. Any actual colors? I am shying away from the plethora of red and burgundy in my closet (reads ketchup and mustard to me), as well as black (reminds me of a bumblebee), and am left with ?

    Thanks!

    1. I love navy and ivory/cream with mustard yellow. A dark Plum or burgundy could also work depending on the shade. Personally, I’d stay away from brown.

    2. Olive? Teal could be interesting, purple, plum. Other jewel tones could be interesting.

    3. Navy, teal, peacock greens.

      All shades of purples.

      Have you tried a true emerald?

      What about stretching the monochromatic with bronze colors?

      I’ve seen some with fuchsia, but I’d have to try it in person as I think the saturation has to be the same to get the Mondrian/color blocking feel to it.

    4. Thanks for the ideas! I do have a good amount of navy, so I’ll have to try that…can’t believe I hadn’t thought of navy.

      And I have The Skirt in a blue-green color that I could try. And come to think of it, I have an emerald shell with gold buttons….

  20. Hey all – any suggestions for learning about entrepreneurship? Admittedly this is a long way away for me, but I’ve been thinking about what I might like to do with myself when professional burn-out sets in and I’m ready to change course. (There’s an absurdly high burn-out rate for what I do, and while I’m nowhere near burned out yet, I’m pretty certain burn-out isn’t an “if,” it’s a “when”.) One of my possible post-burn-out plans involves opening a small business with a close friend, but I have no idea what owning/running a small business would entail, and no background at all in business/finance. I’m loathe to go into debt for another degree (I have a graduate degree already), and am wondering if this is the kind of thing I could learn on my own. Suggestions for must-reads on the subject? Or is this an area where I need some formal education?

    1. I don’t think you need formal education, but I would start setting up informational interviews with alumni from your school(s) who are currently entrepreneurs and/or look up any women-in-business organizations (women often shy away from entrepreneurship and so there are several support organizations out there). If you’re a minority, also see if there are groups aimed people of color and/or people of your background — there’s also a push for more people of color in entrepreneurship and you might find someone willing to talk to you from those groups. In the initial meetings, just try to get a general sense of the landscape. These contacts should be able to offer suggestions for reading material or classes (maybe at a community college, MOOCs, etc.), and, most importantly, may also suggest other people you can meet. If you do this consistently, you should develop a network of people, including several mentors, who will be invaluable when it comes time to set up shop on your own. (Plus they may have ties to investors, if that’s something you see needing.)

    2. Funny. I was just browsing LinkedIn and found this article which looks like it contains other useful leads:
      workreimagined (dot) aarp.org (slash) start-a-business (slash) top-tech-tools-to-launch-a-business (slash) #!
      WorkReimagined is a LinkedIn group or website (?) connected to AARP but information is information regardless of one’s age.
      Follow your nose. Sometimes when you hone in on a particular subject you find leads emerging everywhere.

    3. I went to a few classes at my local small business development center. I also bought a few books on How to Write a Business Plan.

      But then, I just started my business. I learned as I went, and took all feedback as constructive.

      And networked like crazy, asking people about their processes and what they learned.

    4. StartX from Stanford has a ton of amazing videos from really successful entrepreneurs in bite-sized pieces. They’re fun and easy to watch. Highly recommend.

      You might also want to take a look at YCombinator, AngelPad, Canaan Ventures’ website. I’ll post more when I think of them. Good on you for planning ahead!

  21. Question: I’m a third year in BigLaw. At the behest of our recruiting people, I sent a brief note to our fututre summer associates welcoming them to the firm. These notes were brief and were essentially form letters. One young woman wrote back and asked if she could take me to coffee to show her appreciation. I feel uncomfortable with this because I didn’t do her any special favors – interviewing and evaluating her is my job. I don’t feel like we especially connected during the interview process and in fact, I wrote her a fairly neutral evaluation. Am I obligated to get coffee with her? Normally, I’d truthfully beg off as busy but I’m actually not that busy at the moment and don’t want to lie.

    1. Why not go to coffee with her for 30 minutes? She probably has questions about starting with your firm, and it could be a big help to her as she starts to get some inside information.

      Have the firm pay for it, or each pay for your own. Explain that she doesn’t owe you anything, she got the job by being herself, and ask if she has any questions about what to expect as a first year.

      If you absolutely cannot stand the idea of meeting for a quick coffee and talking with this girl, then see if someone else is interested in going. “I am not available right now for coffee, but Samantha can meet with you, I’ve cc’d her on this message so you can coordinate a time and place. See you around the office next year.”

    2. I think she’s using the “appreciation” line as a pretense to pick your brain. Frankly, it sounds like something that I would do. The new woman probably doesn’t know that you only sent the email at the behest of your recruiting people, and probably is looking at it as an ‘someone reached out to me, I should keep this door open.’ I wouldn’t say you’re obligated to go with her; if you don’t think she’s someone worth mentoring, that’s your call. But she would probably appreciate it a lot if you found some time. Maybe if you’re busy, suggest grabbing a quick lunch together or something instead?

      Does your firm have an official mentorship program? She might not be getting much out of it and is looking for someone else she can ask for advice. If you know who her mentor is and that person isn’t doing a great job, you might be able to redirect her toward someone else who could be helpful to her under the guise of “practices in an area you might be interested in” or something like that.

      1. Scratch the second paragraph – I missed that these were “future” summer associates. First paragraph still applies.

    3. You’re not “obligated,” but it wouldn’t hurt to do this woman a favor and spend some of your time giving a sister a helping hand as she enters the work world.

      Sheesh.

  22. A few days ago someone mentioned wiping out the insides of shoes with tea tree oil to keep them from getting gross. I just got 2 new pairs of louboutins as a major splurge (they are the single most comfortable pair of shoes I own for my oddly shaped feet) and I want to keep them nice and smelling fresh. Do you mix the oil with water to wipe them out? How often? Any other tricks people use?

    1. I have a pair of white Adidas sneakers that get smelly very quickly. I picked up a peppermint spray at The Body Shop that was for spraying into shoes/feet. I prefer the smell of peppermint to tea tree. I spray a few sprays into the shoes after I’ve worn them. It helps a bit – my shoes are very smelly, but if I had started with it just after buying the shoes, it would have been much improved.

      http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/bath-body-care/hands-feet/foot-care-products/peppermint-cooling-foot-spray.aspx

    2. I use a few drops on a damp cotton pad or baby wipe. I only do it when they get smelly or the footbed gets gross.

  23. This might be a little too late, but, I need some commuting shoes for fall/winter and I’m at a loss. My commute involves at least 30 minutes of walking daily so I need something comfortable, warm, and not terribly ugly or expensive. I’ve been wearing these http://www.dsw.com/shoe/ak+anne+klein+uri+sport+flat?prodId=255204&productRef=SEARCH (along with a similar beige pair depending on my outfit), but I know they won’t be warm enough as the temperature drops. Suggestions?

    1. And I realize this question was asked above, but I’m more interested in cold weather options. Thanks!

    2. I like boots for this sort of thing. I have a pair of black suede booties that I wear a lot (I think from a few years ago, Clarks by Indigo or vice versa)…. And then when it’s really cold I upgrade to knee high boots.

    3. How about the Keen Zurich Low Boot? There are several similar options by Clarks that look feasible. All of these are over $100, so not exactly low budget, but for everyday use, might be worth it.

  24. What color tights do y’all wear with brown shoes in a conservative environment? I don’t know if it’s ok to wear black tights with brown shoes, but also don’t know if brown tights are conservative enough. Also, is it ok to wear tights that are darker than your shoes (e.g. chocolate tights with tan shoes)? Cold weather problems…

    1. I wear brown tights, but I look for pairs that are a deeper shade of brown. I don’t love the way light(er) shoes in the same color family look with dark tights so I avoid it, but FWIW I think a colorful shoe with a dark colored tight looks fine.

    2. I wear brown tights to work. On the whole, I’m not a fan of darker tights with lighter shoes, but I do wear brown tights with a pair of shoes I have that are a slightly lighter brown with a dark brown pattern (so the pattern matches the tights). Still, I’m always a little iffy even on that combination. But I think it’s really just a matter of personal taste, kind of like tights (not pantyhose) with peep-toes. If it looks good to you, wear it!

  25. For Seattle ‘r e t t e s–

    A close friend living in West Seattle is caring for her SO, who was just diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. I’m already sending a package with cookies, books, a card, etc., but I’d like to spend about $200 on something practical for them. I was thinking about a gift certificate to a meal delivery service or similar in the area (or something similarly practical, to help day to day), and would love any suggestions.

    Thanks in advance.

    1. I’ve never used any of the local meal delivery services, although a google search shows several options. What I did do for a particularly busy year is Dream Dinners, which allows you to assemble meals in their kitchen and and take home to your freezer.

      If this option looks good to you, I will commit to grabbing a friend, assembling the meals, and then delivering to her in West Seattle. You, of course, would pay DD directly, and she would pick the menu from my local DD website (98012). Email me at seattleite.training at the google mail.

      The hive has taken great care of me, and i can pay it forward now. Although I am not back to work yet, I am physically capable of doing this, I promise.

      1. I got a gift card to Eat Local once and it was awesome! It was all restaurant- quality food, frozen meals that you can pop into your oven. Their fisherman’s pie and beef bourguignon are particularly tasty.

      2. Seattleite – you are awesome and I am so glad to hear you are doing better.

  26. does anyone else work in a workplace that seems to exclude spouses/significant others from social events? it’s seems weird to me. I wish there were more spouse friendly events (this is me venting). ugh.

    1. The only time we’d bring along a spouse is for some kind of formal party, like an awards gala or maybe an evening Christmas party, if we had one anymore.

    2. Yup, spouses aren’t included in most of my firm social events.

      I’ve worked in a few places and it seems to vary by firm. Personally, I think it’s nice to include them once a year but I wouldn’t expect much more than that.

    3. My workplace often has happy hours, little parties, etc, but only the annual holiday party is a ‘bring your spouse’ event.

    4. Spouses are only invited to formal annual Christmas party once a year at our company. Actually I prefer it that way, as a single woman I already feel conscious enough if I do not bring a date along (think high school prom days). I am glad most firm social events do not include spouses. It definitely makes me feel more comfortable going alone and confidently networking with my co-workers and superiors outside of usual work setting without dreading everyone is pitying me because I am alone. I already have to deal with enough of that awkwardness during friend/family events or if going for holidays/dinners/movies alone, don’t want the same even at work events. People who have spouses/SO already get to spend all their lives/enough time with them, better to keep work events separate or to a minimum. Sorry if this comes across as snarky, but that is my honest opinion as someone who is single.

  28. In Aggieland, we call this “maroon” and are sooooo happy that this color and all of its iterations are in style.

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