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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 138 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Marocain Crepe Pencil Skirt

Fashion· The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Wear to Work | · · ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. st. john marocain crêpe pencil skirticonHappy Monday! For today's splurge, we're liking this investment piece — a dead simple pencil skirt from St. John Collection, with interesting vertical panels in front, made of Marocain crepe. Lovely. It's available at Nordstrom for preorder for $495. St. John Collection Marocain Crepe Pencil Skirt icon Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

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Comments

  1. AIMS

    Love the skirt!
    And, love, love, love the shoes (not for work or with the skirt, obviously).

    An aside: has anyone had pants entirely re-lined? Is it very expensive? Do you have to buy the fabric yourself or would a tailor have something? TIA.

    • CW

      I haven’t had pants re-lined, but the lining of my coat has been tearing and when I took it to the tailor they said it would be expensive (as in, almost the cost of a new coat) because they’d have to take apart the coat at the seams to put in a new lining.

      I believe they have all the materials to do that – at least, they didn’t tell me to buy fabric and bring it back.

      Presumably it would be a similar process/expense with pants.

      • RoadWarriorette

        Did you ask them to repair the lining? Or to redo the whole thing? The lining in my coat has also torn in a couple of places so I need to get it repaired at the end of the season. Should I be worried about cost?

        • CW

          The lining had torn in numerous places (not just at the seams), so there was no way to repair it unfortunately. I only took it to one place (and decided I’d be better off with a new coat instead), so I’m not sure if the quote was unusually high. This was a few years ago, but if I remember correctly it was just shy of $200.

        • Cat

          Depends on the scope of the damage. I had the lining of my coat patched (it was worn through on the hip that I rest my tote against) for $10-15 at my dry cleaner / tailor; they had fabric (black, satiny).

        • BayAreaAnna

          My experience was the same as CW’s. They said is would be about the same price to reline my coat, in SF. YMMV depending on where you live.

      • Chicago K

        I just asked my tailor/dry cleaner about relining my coat and was shocked when they told me it would cost $150-180 dollars!!!! It had torn in both pockets (annoying, I kept dropping my phone into the lining) and along the back. They patched and fixed the pockets for $55. They provided the fabric (basic black satin).

        I was so shocked at the cost, I remember asking about replacing the lining here awhile back and got reports of others paying in the $20-30 dollar range.

        • Eponine

          Yeah, that’s an insane charge. I had the lining in a coat patched (not completely replaced) for around $20, not including the cost of dry cleaning.

    • K

      I’ve had numerous black pants re-lined. It costs about $40-45 in the DC suburbs and they provide the material (my drycleaner does the re-lining so I’m sure any tailor would) but if you want something specific or high-end in terms of the lining, I might provide it for them or ask to see what they intend to use first. It’s not as big a deal as with jackets because the lining isn’t attached in as many places.

      • AIMS

        Thanks! If it’s under $50, I think I am going to go for it – cheaper than new wool pants.

      • jcb

        My Chicago tailor quoted me $80 to re-line a pair of wool work pants, hardly worth it considering they only cost about $100 to begin with.

      • Amy H.

        I’ve had this done in SF — lining was torn in multiple places on a pair of black pants that I wore (and now again am wearing) into the ground. It was around $40. The tailor provided the (poly) black lining.

    • Confessions

      I’ve had my seamstress add full lining to wool pants that I’ve purchased without lining many, many times, she provides the fabric and in total I usually pay around $30

    • AT

      Has anyone used “pants liners” or “pants slip”? I have a few pairs of unlined pants (J Crew Super 120s I’m looking at you…), and I would really prefer some sort of lining, but have balked at paying to have them lined. So far I have only been able to find them at jcpenney.com, but haven’t pulled the trigger yet.

    • anon

      May I ask why one lines pants? What’s its purpose? – I’m 19. Unsure of these things.

    • Noner

      Marocain Crepe appears to be a style of weave (as noted in the link further down the chain) and in this case, made of triacetate (processed celluose) and polyester.

  3. chix pix

    This skirt is polyester. It is very beautiful, but I don’t like the little slits for work. A black polyseter crepe skirt is nice to have, though. I do like the shoes, would wear to work but I do not wear high heels.

    How do you all feel about rushing the season a bit so that we start to wear something a little springlike right now – I am not referring to those who live and work in a year-round spring-summer climate.

    • Anon

      I have started wearing spring-y colors, even though it is still cold here. If the fabric seems a little thin for the time of year, I’ve been layering a lot. Getting bored with the chunky sweaters and dark colors…

    • kz

      It was 8 degrees during my commute today :-( So probably a little early for springlike, but I did wear an aqua blue sweater just to make myself feel better and remember that somewhere in the world, there is warm weather that matches the color of my sweater.

    • A-A-A-A-Anonymous

      I’m pretty sure this is not polyester. See the defintion of Marocain Crepe posted below.

      As for spring pieces now, I’m with others. It’s far too cold where I am to wear spring weight pieces, but I’ve been trying to wear spring-like colors. This is something I do all year, though, as I can’t stand to wear just neutrals.

    • Fiona

      It was 2 degrees when I left the house this morning, and then the temperature dropped to 1 degree when I was halfway there. =(! So I am still wearing my deepest-winter clothing, sadly.

      • somewherecold

        I’m with you…-5 when I left my house, -8 when I got to work. I don’t see spring on my horizon.

  4. Eponine

    Does anyone else hate the term “investment piece”? It seems like a justification for conspicuous consumption and living beyond one’s means. With the arguable exception of jewelry, no item of apparel is an “investment.”

    • Lawgirl

      I agree, @Eponine. Clothes & shoes are clothes & shoes. They aren’t durable goods. You *live* in them, for goodness sake. They wear out, get dated, get spots on them, you buy new ones. I guess a Mercedes Benz could be an “investment car.” So could a Bentley. As for me, I’ll take my Toyota. ;-)

    • Anonymous

      Yes, I think this term was probably coined by magazine editors to obscure the fact that they are really just selling you more (expensive) stuff. It is all part of the psychology of marketing. Over time these terms and the concepts they embody become embedded in our consciousness so that we accept them as “truths”.

    • Another Sarah

      I don’t really mind it, although I don’t really see it as a justification to live beyond one’s means. In my understanding of it, you don’t have to keep on buying investment pieces because they are classic enough and the quality is high enough that they will last you a looooooong time. So really, you don’t consume more. FWIW, I don’t think of cars in general as “investment” pieces, since their value will always decline, no matter what kind of car it is. And, in my experience, people replace their cars more often than they replace “investment-piece”-esque suits. :-)

      • Lyssa

        I agree. Sometimes it sounds silly, but the idea is that it is something that is 1) high enough quality that it will look nice for a long time (which is something that I find hard to judge, BTW, and that doesn’t seem too well-connected to price), and 2) a classic style that won’t look dated.

        I still wouldn’t pay “splurge” prices for that, but I know that when I see a new trend that catches my eye, I’ll usually try to find it cheap, say, Old Navy-type prices, on the assumption that, if it’s still popular and attractive to me, I can always buy a nicer one later. Or shoes, which I wouldn’t pay more than, say, $40 for a “fun” pair (i.e., a colorful, trendy-stylish pair that I wouldn’t necessarily wear to work or for serious walking, but would enjoy wearing to dinner or a party- got a couple from Target a few months back in the low $20’s, BTW, and am really happy with them), but I would spend more for a pair of sensible, court-ready, neutral shoes that I expect to get a ton of wear out of.

      • s-p-s

        Although I read in a style book that you should replace your “investment pieces” every few years, which seems to defeat the purpose! At any rate, I agree that anything as fragile as clothing or footwear shouldn’t be too pricey…especially when classic pieces aren’t too hard to find at reasonable prices.

        • Lyssa

          Now that does sound silly. Replace them when they don’t look nice anymore. How hard is that?

    • MHU

      Perhaps “wardrobe staple” would be a better fit? The term “investment piece” term may be annoying, but it reflects the reality that, in my clothing budget, more is allocated towards a nice pair of black trousers than to a shirt in the color or cut of the moment.

    • cbackson

      It annoys me too. The only way that it makes sense to me is if it saves you money that you would otherwise have spent by preventing you from buying multiple cheaper things that would wear out in the mean time. But I think that’s often not the case – that WSJ article that Kat posted about “buying like a man” pointed out (and I think it’s really true) that even very expensive women’s attire and shoes are poorly made and don’t last. And people end up buying new things due to changes in fashion as well.

      My experience has mostly been that spending more has paid off for me, not in the career-wear sector of my wardrobe, but in my outdoor clothes – I bought cheaper rain gear and ski clothes and found that I was having to replace them every year or two because seams would split, waterproofing would go, etc. I finally bit the bullet and bought pricier stuff, and it’s saved me money in the long run because it has lasted. But it hasn’t penciled out for me, financially, when it comes to my work clothes.

      • AIMS

        I wholeheartedly agree that it’s much harder to tell with women’s clothing (and some men’s, too) whether something will ultimately stand the test of time, but I don’t think the fact that it can be trickier to judge makes it less of an apt term. Maybe it’s just misused or thrown around too much.

        I think a lot of this really just has to do with 1) how you are taking care of your clothes (not a judgment, but we all differ. I, for instance, would never buy anything expensive in white – I once managed to spill coffee *into* a shopping bag with a white shirt in it.), and 2) how often you get tired of certain wardrobe staples.

    • Mountain Girl

      What do you do about weight fluctuation with an “investment piece”? I know you can always get things altered but do women who purchase investment pieces have pieces altered up and down according to their weight or do they not have fluctuating weights? As little as 10 lbs can significantly impact how a piece fits and it would not be unrealistic for me to gain or lose this much from one winter to the next. Am I an anomaly or do others have this problem?

      • MM

        I have this problem, and it’s frankly why I do not spend lots of money on individual items in my wardrobe. Even if a piece is loose-fitting or stretchy enough to work across my weight range, that doesn’t mean it will be a go-to piece no matter where in that range I am. As embarrassing as it is, I just stock my closet with slightly cheaper clothes in a variety of sizes and pray for the day I can stabilize my weight.

      • Arachna

        I don’t think you’re an anomaly but my weight fluctuates in the 5 lbs range and usually less than that and unless the piece is tight around my waist the fit is consistently similar because that’s the main place my weight goes.

        I’m very happy having about 3/4 pairs of shoes for work. I hope to keep two of them (expensive, classic, love) for at least 5 years and possibly 10. I’d feel pretension actually calling them investment pieces but I definitely bought them hoping to get a decade worth of wear out of them, if this pans out I’d say they were worth the price. Similarly, I recently bought my first pair of tall boots, I don’t want a collection of boots, just this one pair will suit me fine and I definitely expect to wear it for 10 years – so I felt comfortable paying well for them. I’m about ready to purchase my first expensive suit and hope to find something that I will wear for many years.

      • anon-ny

        this is why I don’t get tailoring. My weight fluctuates 5-10 pounds on a regular basis which means my pant size varies pretty drastically over the course of a month (yup, often very linked to my period but also just whether I’m tied to my desk too much/stressed out/training for a race, etc.). I wouldn’t know at what weight I should have everything tailored. Plus, for whatever reason, I’m always on my heavier side in the winter than in the summer. I must compensate for the cold and dreariness by eating more.

      • houda

        I might be weird but my weight cannot change by more than 3 pounds up or down. I have the tiniest closet ever (well just a clothes’ rack) but I wear the clothes to death so a slightly expensive garment ends up costing pennies in cost per wear.

    • Ballerina girl

      It’s always bothered me, too. I think some things are more durable than others, but the term “investment piece” has bothered me because I think it was designed to convince women that buying a $2000 purse is a smart financial move.

    • Frump

      Disagree with those who say the term ‘investment piece’ has no meaning. For me, an investment piece is something I am going to return to wearing, again and again, and have a liklihood of wearing very often. For me, my current ‘investment pieces’ (meaning some of the more expensive things in my wardrobe, relatively speaking) are two black purses and two pairs of black shoes (one matte leather set and one patent leather set). I would say I wear these sets on probably 75% of days, and so it makes sense for me to have bought items of higher quality that I really, really love because I am using them so often. I’m also getting my money’s worth out of them, not only because I use them so often, but because I love them THAT MUCH and will NOT buy new ones. Sure, I might buy a cheap, novelty pair of black shoes or a black bag here and there randomly, but they will be very cheap because I know I won’t wear them much, since I have my go-to investment black shoes/bags that look way better and that I love a lot more.

      Here’s another example of this. I have one pair of shorts that is literally the PERFECT pair of shorts that I probably wear 85% of the time during summer non-work settings, and I am only going to buy another pair of shorts of this type when this current pair dies I pretty much love the pair more than life and am preemptively grieving (yes, grieving) for them because I know they won’t last forever. Lucky for me, they were dirt cheap, but I often think of it in the sense: had I seen a pair of Chanel shorts that I loved that much and wore the exact same amount, could it be worth it it? Could it be an investment piece? In my mind, yes, because I’d be getting tons of wear out of it and would love it to the point that I honestly would need no other shorts (or very few extra pairs) other than that pair because I loved it that much.

      Other investment pieces I would say are pieces that are basic and classic, that even if you don’t wear every day, you will probably get good, long use out of because they are so basic, but also good quality (because you spent the money on them). Think things like bags in basic colors (black, brown, maybe a taupe or cream), wool coats (good to have a nice, thick, heavy/quality one), leather gloves, real jewelry (pearls, gold/silver items, etc.).

      But, I fully acknowledge my belief in ‘investment pieces’ could be purely personal in that I personally would much rather have very few things of fabulous quality that I also ADORED more than a wardrobe full of random, poor quality things I don’t like that much. For those who value variety or constant change, the concept of an investment piece might not hold up as strongly.

    • Mouse

      Triacetate/polyester; dry clean. Directly from the description … so it’s on the cheap end of that definition.

    • houda

      What I don’t get is why it’s called marocain (I’m from Morocco btw). I see no reason for the name and this looks a little cheap :(

  6. E.E.

    Not a fan of these slits. Looks like someone’s 5 year old took scissors to the skirt. At the very least, too distinctive to wear weekly, which is what I’m currently targeting in my latest search for the perfect black pencil skirt.

  7. MM

    Shoes like those make me really, really wish I had a social life. :)

    But seriously, I’ve been wondering this about shoes like the ones above and the cute, cute little booties that are everywhere lately: are they worth wearing with pants? I do not wear skirts, and I assume the charm of the shoes is lost when mostly hidden by pants. I usually focus on buying shoes with cute toes.

    • surrounded by lawyers

      But you sit down and cross your legs, and your pant cuff, at least on the crossed leg, rides up just enough to show your absolutely amazing shoe.

      I’ve thought about this! ;)

      • AIMS

        Oh my god, yes. This is one of the things that’s so awesome about shoes like this — it’s like a surprise when you sit down!

        • kellyn

          The last part of that comment has me laughing out loud.

          But I totally agree– I love a fabulous unexpected shoe with a more conservative pant– just a peek of fabulousness.

    • Anonymous

      I also wear pants exclusively — I think if you like the shoes, go for it. They may be covered if you’re standing completely still, but when you walk, sit and cross your legs, etc., the peekaboo/surprise effect is kind of eye -catching. Plus you feel fabulous wearing cool shoes.

      • Bonnie

        Agreed. I like to wear eye-catching shoes with my pants even if only the toes peek out.

  8. Lyssa

    It is very pretty in the picture, but . . .

    I have a skirt (much cheaper, so that might make a difference) with panels like that, and I hate it. It looks nice when I’m standing still, but when I walk, the middle panel goes between my legs in a way that I can only describe as “loincloth-like”. Also, when I sit, the slits open up in a way that I can’t seem to work around, causing me to reveal far more thigh than I’m comfortable with in professional settings, or to be forever readjusting it instead of, you know, working.

    I’ve been meaning to take it to a tailor to try to get the slits closed up (my dry cleaner, who also does alterations, said that it would be too complex for her, so I’m not sure that it will be worthwhile), but I’ve completely stopped wearing it otherwise (which is a shame, because I like it otherwise, and it’s part of a suit which I like a lot). This one might be cut a little differently, but, if you’re interested in ordering something like that, make sure that you consider walking at a fast pace and sitting when you try it on.

    • MsZ

      This. I have a skirt with the same slit pattern that I keep wanting to love because I love the fabric and cut otherwise, but when I sit down it gives me slits up both thighs that are just plain indecent.

    • AEK

      lol @ “loincloth.”
      What about having some fabric sewn into the slits intead of having them closed altogether? Then you could still have the “closed” effect when you’re standing still, but you’d have the ability to walk and sit more comfortably. You could even get feisty and use a pattern or something, so it would just peek out when you walk or cross your ankles.

      • Lyssa

        Great idea (can’t believe that I didn’t think of it). I’m not sure how that would work- would they sew the fabric directly to the lining, or to the waistband to create a second lining in front, maybe? (Guess that’s why I’m not a tailor.) Alternatively, I wonder if I could just find a heavy-duty black slip to wear under it? I haven’t worn a slip since I was pre-pubescent, but it might work.

        Love the idea of a flashy fabric underneath, too!

  9. kz

    Interview attire question (or maybe it’s an interview logistics question). I’ve got an interview for a clerkship on Wednesday (yay), but unfortunately, the forecast is predicting snow/rain. I work in Brooklyn, which means it’s impossible to get a cab right outside of work, and I’m hesitant to take a cab/car service anyway because of traffic unreliability. Unfortunately, on days where is snows/rains, really, really deep puddles develop between work and the subway. If I didn’t have an interview, I’d just wear rain boots and happily be on my way. But how do I get to my interview without looking like a drowned rat? I can’t fit my rainboots in my tote. Do I wear them anyway and hope the judge understands when I show up with an extra bag containing rainboots after I switch shoes? Do I just switch from crappy commuter flats to nice heels and hope the judge doesn’t notice that might hose will (likely) be soaked? I was planning on wearing my fleece-lined tights, which are opaque, so maybe it wouldn’t be noticeable if they were wet?

    • L

      I would wear the rain boots and take an extra bag, then stash it in the chambers somewhere (with the current clerk? in the coat closet?). Shouldn’t be a big deal. :)

    • Anon

      I bet it would be possible to stash the boots in the reception area somewhere. I’d go with boots and changing shoes when you get there. I think people understand the need for this kind of stuff in bad weather.

      Good luck at your interview!!

    • Lyssa

      Congrats on the interview. I’m sure that the judge would understand if you have an extra bag for boots. One thing that you could try (I know that this would have worked great in my clerkship, but it was a much smaller, more casual town) is to ask the judge’s secretary to will hold that bag for you, explaining the situation. Assuming that the judge’s secretary is a woman, she’s likely to understand and be happy to help out, and you wouldn’t have to worry about the judge him/herself.

    • Anonymous

      Agree with commenters that say stash it when you get there. I never had a judge meet me at the door for clerkship interviews- always his secretary or his current clerks, and he came out of his chambers a few minutes later.

    • Chicago S

      Treat the extra bag similar your coat, if they offer to take your coat, give them both your coat and bag with boots. I learned this when I first moved to Chicago and attended an event in January and all the local women where checking coats and boots as they slipped on cute shoes.

    • Lola

      I agree. Wear the boots, and ask the receptionist/assistant if you can stash them in her area. If you can’t stash them, and have to carry them into the interview, I’m sure the judge would understand.

  10. COS

    LOVE this skirt. I do tend to love all things St. John, however, and my observation is that most people aren’t lukewarm on the label – it’s either love or dislike. I love the fit, I love the feel, and I can’t wait to buy this skirt.

  11. chix pix

    Correcting myself: the ad says triacetate/polyester. The triacetate means rayon. I said just polester. The polyester gives it strngth, the triacetate gives it beauty. The “crepe marocain” refers to the type of texture or weave. I think it is sort of like an ottoman weave (with ridges).

    • Just Curious

      You do realize how to use the reply function, correct? I’ve seen that you can even use it on the mobile site now, so I just wanted to point it out! (I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’ve missed seemingly obvious things like this before and I’ve noticed that your replies are frequently at the bottom of the thread as opposed to in reply to, well, what you’re replying to!)

      • Ci

        Im pretty sure chix pix is a fake person, and the spelling makes me think its probably ellen/allan

        • Ernon

          I agree with the first but not the second, I think Ellen/Alan is different.

          • AccountingNerd

            where has ellen/alan been recently? Haven’t seen any entertaining comments lately…

          • Ses

            I don’t think she is fake/troll because I seem to remember her having a blog she used to link to. Something in fashion. She just has a lot of opinions on clothes.

          • Ernon

            Lots of opinions on clothes, but no knowledge of female sanitary products? That question was what raised flags for me—that and the fat comment that seemed designed to start a flame war.

          • Ci

            Someone who makes fun of fat people, talks about dressing in kimono inspired looks for asian clients…. etc

      • TK1

        My non-smart phone with web access doesn’t have the reply option, so I never end up posting from it.

        • houda

          I LOVED the “non-smart” phone comment, it made me laugh so hard because I usually refer to my phone as stupid phone (in contrast to smart)

  12. Anon101

    Ladies, I have a boot obsession. I got my first pair ever(!) last spring and now I’m addicted to them. Every time I buy the *perfect* pair I start coveting another within a week. My budget and closet space cannot sustain this. So I have a question for you: how many pairs ‘o boots do you think is enough?

    • Anonymous

      6 pairs
      One black high-heeled bootie; one black low-heeled tall boot; one brown mid-heel, mid-height; one for rain; one for snow; one more for fun

      • Anon

        Hrmm. I have two pairs of snowboots, three or four pairs of tall black boots in various shapes/heights, a couple pair of shorter black boots, three pairs of cowboy boots, blue suede boots, brown suede boots, brown wedge boots, and a pair of Doc Martins in this funky retro pattern… I wear them all winter long, with skirts and pants, and I don’t feel one bit sorry to have them. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few pairs as I make the list.

        I no longer have rainboots (mine gave way) and I also don’t have above-the-knee boots or Frye boots. So IMO you’re fine, honey!

        • houda

          Out of curiosity, why did you put Frye boots in a separate category such as the OTK?

    • Another Sarah

      2 – one in black, one in non-black (brown? aubergine?). But I buy shoes strictly for utility since I don’t have the money/foot issues to have a lot of shoes that can’t do 2x or 3x duty, so this may be different for others.

      Do you mean snow boots? – 1 pair.

    • L

      I have 7. If I wore heels it would probably be more.

      One black one brown – nice dress boots for work (riding style, flat – camper and clarks)
      One rain (llbean)
      One snow (north face)
      Two casual mid-calf – for weekend (one black one brown) (nine west)
      One brown ankle (suede) for weekend – now not in use bc too cold (nine west)

      • L

        Sorry, the casual mid-calf ones are also suede, and the dress boots for work are knee-high (just below knee) and leather.

    • K

      I have 3, but then again I live in a state where boots are less a necessity and more of a fashion statement.

      1 – black flat riding boots
      1 – brown flat riding boots
      1 – black high heeled boots

      Check out smartbargains.com for great deals on boots. I scored my brown Corso Como boots from that site for $75, and I’d seem them at Bloomingdales for $300. Plus, their customer service is incredible.

    • Eponine

      I think it’s reasonable to have two pairs of work-appropriate ankle boots (on each in black and brown, or colors that go with black and brown) to wear with slacks, two pairs of work-appropriate knee-high boots to wear with skirts, a pair of rain boots, a pair of winter boots, and maybe one additional pair of casual boots if your work-appropriate boots are not good with jeans. So 7 pairs.

    • kz

      I, too, have a boot obsession. 7 pairs: 1 more casual black flat tall boots, 1 nicer black heeled tall boots, 1 casual brown wedge tall boots, 1 snow boot, 1 rain boot, 1 grey high-heeled bootie, 1 black ankle boot. I want a nicer pair of brown boots I can wear to work, too. This doesn’t include the two other pairs of actual riding boots that I could probably wear casually and they’d be perfectly in fashion.

    • Anon101

      Ok, thanks ladies. To follow up, how do you care for your boots to keep them looking lovely?

      • Bonnie

        I take my nicer boots to the cobbler at the end of each season for repairs, generally cleaning and waterproofing to keep the salt from destroying them. I also have toe taps put on most of my shoes and boots since I always seem to destroy the tips otherwise. I have a pair of brown flat tall boots that I treat a little worse but only because I think they look better a little scuffed.

        • L

          I only wear the nice work boots to walk to work (from the parking lot, 5 blocks away) IF it is perfectly dry out and there is no snow on the ground. Otherwise I wear the rain or snow boots and take the other boots in a bag. When I used to walk to work, I would never wear the boots to work, but only when I got there.

          My first pair of black boots for work (Aldo) lasted 7 years this way and the brown pair is still going strong after 8 years.

      • kz

        I spray all of mine with waterproofer/protector when I get them (one specifically for leather for the leather ones, then a kiwi-brand protector for suede/man-made materials). I replace the soles and heels as they wear out (every couple of years for the soles, and I seem to get the heel taps replaced on my heeled pair at least once a year. It wears out quickly).

        I also shine them fairly regularly. I spent yesterday trying to get out salt stains from my snow boots with a water/vinegar mix, which worked pretty well (they’re suede, and I probably wouldn’t recommend trying this if you’re particularly attached to your boots. It seemed to work fine, but you never know.)

      • Lola

        Polish them and condition the leather regularly.

        (I don’t actually do this, because I am lazy and don’t wear my boots much, but I think it is what one is supposed to do.)

        • L from Oz

          I do this, and it works. (I’m the running joke of my office, because I’m slightly obsessive about looking after my shoes!)

      • Jas

        I try not to wear them in snow/rain (that’s what my snow boots are for). If they do end up getting marks from salt, I clean them with a water/vinegar solution. I polish them every few weeks and try not to wear the same pair two days in a row. I also check the soles at the end of each season to see if they’ll need repairs. I don’t use boot trees/rolls of newspaper in the shaft, but I’ve heard that recommended too.

    • LawyrChk

      For me, 4 (and I love boots as well).
      (1) wooly Uggs/snow boots
      (2) cowboy boots
      (3) dressy black boots for work
      (4) dressy brown booties for work/going out

      Maybe set an overall shoe/boot limit and then force yourself to stay below it; my current rule is that if I want a new pair, I have to get rid of one pair out of my closet (painful, but it works).

    • Elle 2

      I have…

      1 pair “fashion” snow boots for running errands and light outdoor work
      1 pair 1000g boots for ice fishing, football games and other long serious outdoor activities
      1 pair black calf-height, mid-heel (appropriate for work with pants)
      1 pair brown calf-height, mid-heel (appropriate for work with pants)
      1 pair black knee-height, platform and high-heel (NSFW but look awesome with dresses on cold weekends)

      On my wish list would be a pair of brown flat riding boot to round out my collection.

    • Miriam

      HELP! I need a new pair of boots! I have a great pair, but they have a 4″ heel, and I want something flat. My problem is that I have very, very thin calves and most boots look silly on me. I want ones that are tall, but still below the knee and for under $200. I’m somewhat flexible on the color; black, brownish, tan, etc. Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!

  13. J

    I’m sorry to post a depressing threadjack on a Monday – My father just informed me that he is getting divorced from his second wife, the mother of my elementary-school aged, openly-adopted sister. I’m completely devastated, as this is bringing back the hell I lived through when he divorced my mother when I was a teen. I am also extremely concerned about my sister, who I think is too young to understand this is not her fault. Given the corporette adoption talk recently, does anyone know how being adopted compounds and/or exacerbates a child’s feelings during his/her parents’ divorce?

    And for those in family law or experience in custody situations, I am also worried that I won’t be able to see her anymore, as my father is definitely the bad actor and his wife may understandably assign me guilt by association. I assume I have no legal standing to officially request visitation, but maybe when things are less horrifically fresh and the opportunity arises, I can suggest supervised visitation to her mother? I have no interest in trying to get in the middle of their imploding marriage, nor speak ill of anyone to my sister, but I would hate to lose her over this. This is all so awful, and I know she is going to pay the highest price of all.

    • eb

      Maybe this is a terribly naive comment, but would you be able to work something out directly with her mother? If you have an existing sisterly relationship with her daughter, and you live fairly independently from your father, she may be herself interested in preserving that despite the divorce from your father. (That might lead to all sorts of emotional arguments about whose ‘side’ you’re on, but that’s something to be prepared for in any case.) I would think that anything you can work out informally/personally is preferable to battling over legal visitation rights.

    • Mountain Girl

      I am not an attorney but is there any way to just talk to your sister’s mother and explain that your value your relationship with your sister and would wish that to continue. Maybe I am naive but I would think that if you approach this properly with the mother, explain that you are not taking sides and have no intention of interfering or speaking badly about any of the parties involved than she may welcome the idea of providing this bit of continuity in her daughter’s life.

      As with all things, however, it depends on the relationships of all the parties involved.

    • cbackson

      How’s your relationship with your stepmother? Letting her know upfront that you love your sister and value your relationship with both of them will help lay the groundwork for the future. Tell stepmom that you know that this must be terrible for both of them, and that you want, in particular, to be there for your sister. Also, make it clear that your interest is not in defending your father or anything like that, and that you will be sensitive and careful with regard to how you respond to questions your sister might have.

      I think that you want to act sooner, rather than later, to keep the door open.

    • Eponine

      It sounds like you’re just assuming your dad won’t stay involved in your sister’s life. Just because he may be responsible for the divorce doesn’t mean the court won’t give him visitation rights or even joint custody if he wants it – custody is based on ability and desire to parent, not on responsibility for the divorce. Moreover, unless your stepmother is extremely vindictive (to the point that I’d question her ability to get custody), I can’t imagine that she’d want to cut her daughter’s only sister out of her life.

      I think you’re way ahead of yourself here. Most likely, nothing will change with your relationship with your sister. Why don’t you invite her over for girls’ night so she feels assured of your continuing love and support?

      • Eponine

        BTW, I have no family law experience, just personal experience with divorce and custody.

    • Ann

      Actually, I wouldn’t wait. That may be perceived as you taking sides, or not being interested. I would get ahold of your father’s second wife and just explain, you cannot take sides in the divorce, but your half-sister means the world to you and you would like to stay in contact with her however possible. You know things may be weird for awhile but the continuity of the relationship with your sister is your main priority.

      If your father’s wife has her head in the right place, she’ll want to make sure your sister has some good relationships to cling to during this difficult time. And it is totally possible for you to continue your relationship with your sister regardless of what happens in your dad’s divorce. I have a friend whose father was one of the pioneers of the “setting up franchises” model of marriage, wherein he moved to a new city about every 10 years and married a new woman and had a new family, then got divorced and repeated the cycle. In addition to her two full siblings, my friend has three stepsiblings her father adopted and two half-siblings she is biologically related to. She has some kind of relationship with all of them and they have even all gone on a family trip together, which I found both hilarious and touching. Family is what you make it these days, and you can set up a situation where it’s at least possible for your half-sister to stay in your life. Good luck.

    • Hel-lo

      For what it’s worth, I think divorce is actually easier the younger the kids are. My parents divorced when I was 10, and I had a best friend whose parents divorced when she was 3. We just grew up with two different households and parents that didn’t live together, and thought that was normal. Divorce was much harder on our friends whose parents split when they were in high school or college (or adults).

      It never occurred to me, as a 10-year-old, that the divorce was my fault. Maybe I just had a big ego for a kid, or maybe I realized that my parents’ pre-divorce constant fighting with each other didn’t have much to do with me.

      You should make an effort to hang out with your half-sister, and you can even tell her that it’s not her fault a few times. Little girls also need to be told they’re beautiful and smart, so I’m sure you as an older half-sister can help her out in that regard, too. :)

    • anon

      FWIW, I know therapists that specialize in adoption issues. A therapist might be willing just to do a consult where you explain your concerns and they talk to you about issues to watch for. I would talk to your physician, search psychology today or similar sites, or contact a local adoption agency to seek resources if you are concerned. The adoption agencies I know are working hard to educate families about adoption-specific issues (not that your sister would have them, but stuff that can come up), so they might be able to pass along some materials as well.

  15. K

    Anyone have any tips and tricks for reducing noise while working in a cubicle? My cubicle mate is extremely noisy and talkative (seriously, if there’s no one around to talk to, she will talk to herself) and I am one of those people who works/focuses best when it’s quiet. As a result, her hourly lunchbreak has become the most productive part of my day, but I feel like the constant noise is really affecting my performance during the day.

    I tried wearing headphones and listening to my iPod for awhile, but that wasn’t very effective. Any other suggestions?

    • AIMS

      What did you listen to? I get distracted by my regular music but find classical actually makes me more focused (it’s almost pavlovian now).
      You could also download a “white noise” app (free) and listen to any of the sounds provided.
      If you don’t need to answer your phone or can see it light up when it rings, you could also try ear plugs.

      • LawyrChk

        I use high-quality earplugs for a similar problem. Works great to the point that I barely hear my phone ringing 2 feet away.

    • Ballerina girl

      This is a pricey suggestion, but the Bose noise cancelling headphones are AMAZING. They cancel out most noise–I had really loud neighbors and bought these. They run about $300 but they’re great.

    • K

      Thanks for the white noise recs! I had tried classical music to no avail, but I will have to download some white noise and give that a shot.

      If not, I’m going the earplug route. Thanks!

    • Jess

      I hear ya! I’m in the same situation – with the added bonus of the guy in the cube next to mine has bad bad bad BO!!

      I’ve found headphones that have the noise cancelling device with it work pretty well – I got mine on Amazon for $10 bucks. Earplugs help – I’ve found taking walks to clear my head – even if its just to the bathroom or copy room. For me, it’s more of getting over frustration/annoyance at having to listen to my cubemate pound on their computer.
      Good luck!! Cubes suck!

    • Lola

      If classical music didn’t work for you, you might try Pandora or Internet Radio. I listen to the local college station. I normally hate indie rock, but it’s kind of perfect background noise.

      • Anonymous

        This may be ridiculous, but I discovered Dubstep music while studying for finals last semester. Something about the mechanical sounds of the music (that I would never ordinarily listen to) allowed me to drown out the world and focus.

  16. Sonoma-bound

    I’m going to be going to Sonoma for an extended weekend, and it looks like it will be mid to high 60s. Any advice on what to wear? I don’t want to look silly with too warm of a coat, but I don’t want to freeze either. Would a sweater coat do for most days, or should I be thinking more in terms of a winter-weight wool jacket? Will I look silly in a sweater dress?

    I swear, I’ve been in arctic weather so long now that I can’t even remember what 60s feels like.

  17. Sonoma-bound

    I’m going to be going to Sonoma for an extended weekend, and it looks like it will be mid to high 60s. Any advice on what to wear? I don’t want to look silly with too warm of a coat, but I don’t want to freeze either. Would a sweater coat do for most days, or should I be thinking more in terms of a winter-weight wool jacket? Will I look silly in a sweater dress?

    I swear, I’ve been in arctic weather so long now that I can’t even remember what 60s feels like.

    • k

      Not sure where you’re from–if you’re a West Coaster, you’re probably used to this–but bear in mind that nights in Sonoma are *significantly* colder than the days. So while it will be in the 60s during the day, it gets downright chilly at nighttime, so a lightweight coat is not a terrible idea.

      I live in New York but am from Sonoma County originally, and have started to notice how much more casual people’s outfits tend to be. A Northface fleece or leather jacket would be pretty spot-on, and dresses aren’t nearly as common–but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear one! Just wear rain-appropriate shoes.

    • Jay

      We go up to Sonoma frequently–a sweater dress and tights with boots would be perfectly appropriate. You will want a coat for the nights. Have fun!

      • mamabear

        We just got back from Sonoma. Depending on where you’re going, the weather will be different. Colder near the coast (Jenner), warmer inland, but with a tendency toward fog. Style-wise, in hippy Guerneville or surrounding Russian River area you’d stick out like a sore thumb in a sweater dress and tights with boots, but you’d fit right in in Healdsburg or the city of Sonoma.

        I’d say a sweater coat is probably going to be warm enough for the coming weekend. Bring a warm pashmina or wide scarf for extra layering. Have fun! That is my favorite area of my state.

    • SF Bay Associate

      I go up to Sonoma county regularly for wine tasting, most recently over the holidays. I wore sweaters, wool skirts and sweater tights and knee boots for several days. Yes, there were people dressed more casually than me, and I looked a bit yuppieish when in Guerneville, but well, that’s what I am and I’m ok with that.

      What matters is how you conduct yourself – if you pay attention to the wines, ask thoughtful questions, and really spend some time with the vinters, they aren’t going to care what you’re dressed like. A sweater dress is fine. Jeans and a sweater are fine, too. You will indeed need a wool coat at night because it gets quite cold. I wore my gloves a lot, too.

      I’m happy to recommend wineries/restaurants if you are so inclined as well!

  18. Chix Pix

    I can’t imagine wearing a dress in Sonoma County – unless to a wedding? Jeans would be more in order. I have a special jacket I wear in Northern California – any time of the year. It is quilted nylon – but not puffy. You didn’t say whether you are going to be at the beach, but my quilted jacket has gone everywhere in Sonama Couty and it is always fine. I don’t recall ever having worn a dress or skirt in Sonoma County.

    • anon-CA

      This. I’m in SF and we go up all times of year. Jeans and a casual button down are fine. Wineries, especially the smaller ones, are working farms so except in the tasting rooms people will be wearing jeans and workboots. Heels are going to sink into the soft mud paths this time of year, and depending on where you’re going, may look silly.
      Also advise that if you are from a cold climate, what ‘we’ find chilly and may wear wool/down/fleece in may not be what you will find cold. Evenings can be in the low 40s, you may be fine in a sweater or thin leather jacket depending on what you are used to.

  19. Sleeping Beauty

    Any advice for light sleepers dealing with snoring bedmates? Are earplugs the only solution?

    • Anon

      Has your bedmate tried anything to stop the snoring? I tend to snore in the winter and learned that snoring is exascerbated by dry air. Adding a small humidifier on my bedside table has solved the problem.

      • Sleeping Beauty

        Hmm, good ideas, thanks! Bedmate is relatively new to my bed so I don’t want to push it too much this soon–ear plugs will just have to be the way to go for now. I often wondered how effective the elbow-to-the-bedmate thing works for snoring!

        • Also Anon

          An elbow works great, but I’d keep your distance. My bedmate occasionally throws a limb back at me if startled.

  20. AEK

    Earplugs help, but I am a truly light sleeper, and I also found myself constantly listening through the earplugs to see if they were working (and I could hear muffled snoring sometimes), so it became just another way of keeping myself awake. Try it.
    The thing that has been most helpful is DH consistently using a sinus rinse. Daily. It’s cut the snoring down to tolerable levels— it only happens now when he’s on his back, so I can just smack him and get him to turn over:) It’s helped a lot with his allergies too.
    A white noise machine on my side of the bed also helps, although now I really only need it when he has a cold and the snoring gets worse.
    It also depends on your relationship with your bedmate—don’t know if it’s kosher to suggest sinus rinsing to a 3-month boyfriend (for example), but earplugs are pretty portable and discreet.

  21. Anon

    Speaking of noises and cubicles, I have the opposite problem. It is sooo quiet around my cubicle and my stomach makes embarassingly loud noises, sometimes several times a day. It happens when I eat and when I don’t it. Am I the only with this problem?

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