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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
When you say Balmain, I will forever think of the crazy shouldered blazers they were popular for in the mid-aughts — but it's good to know that they have more regular blazers these days. Fun fact: Apparently they're meant to be very form-fitting and run super small. Love the darts and seaming in the back, and the outfit as styled here is amazing — I always like a shrunken blazer with wide pants. The blazer is $1,941 at MatchesFashion.com. Single-Breasted Wool Blazer
A more affordable option is at Nordstrom, where there are also options in plus sizes.
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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Royal wedding – what did everyone think?
Ellen
$1900 for a blazer? Kat, I am not a royal, so it is out of my price range! It is pretty, tho, so FOOEY!
As for the OP, and the Royal wedding, I really loved it! I loved Megan Markel’s dress, and the kid’s were so cute. I also loved the car’s they were driving in and even the Queen and Prince Philipp were cute and they were over 90 year’s old. The onley thing I did not understand was why the Minister from Chicago kept talking on and on. I think the Royals were a little peeved about the content of the sermon, but it was all about love, so that is probably why they did not have the sermon vetted by their staff. I liked Prince Harry’s outfit, though I never cared for a man with a Beard, b/c it can be very scratchey! FOOEY on Beard’s, tho I suppose if I was goeing to be a royal princess, I could live with my husband with the beard. But all thing’s considered, it was pretty nice. And the weather also was nice over there, while it was raining here all day. So back to reality, and my singel existence, I only billed 8 hours all day. DOUBEL FOOEY!
Anonymous
Just glad it’s over so I can stop hearing about the royal wedding.
Anonymous
It was amazing. Perfection. I’ll never stop talking about it. The sermon was just beyond the best.
NY CPA
Overall, I loved it! The love between them was palpable. The bride looked beautiful. The flowers were gorgeous. The music was fabulous (and a great way to mix cultures, as well as classic with modern).
But I thought the minister was totally out of place. I know this is a controversial POV. Obviously the bride and groom chose him, and so if that’s what they wanted, then that’s what they wanted. The first few minutes were ok, but IMHO it was WAY too long and too much fire-and-brimstone for a wedding sermon.
Anonymous
It’s not a controversial point of view, it’s a racist point of view. Do you know what fire and brimstone means? Not this. This was about love. And in Christianity Love is radical and transformative. Absolutely yes this style of preaching was different. It was different because of race and your opinion that it was out of place is racist.
Anonymous
Nice. We made it to 10:12 before people started flinging around the R word here.
Anonymous
when there’s actual racism to be found “the r word” (nice scare quotes) is appropriate.
Anon
Any time there is an interracial marriage, there will be questions, and it is important that people not hide their heads in the sand on it. I fully expect that Megan will take the lead and not shy away from these issues. After all, she was strong enough to walk 1/2 way down the aisle by herself, which must have been a shock to the traditionalists, particularly since to that point, she exhibited 100% of the traits of femininity. I applaud her for that and encourage her not to buckle under to the whims of the British royalty who would certainly not to have another Diana on their hands. But this is the 21st Century, and we cannot just pretend that it is the 19th any more. Queen Elizabeth is not going to be around for that much longer, and her son, Prince Charles, appears to be embracing the 21st century mores, including marrying Camilla, and blessing his sons’ marriages. I say it is high time for us women to stand up for everything, as we are now doing, so that the males whose deeds against us have gone unnoticed and unpunished to date are now outed.
Anon
That’s a very US-centric perspective (I know it’s a US-based blog, but it was a British royal wedding). I think a lot of English people found it over-the-top and loud, which are qualities we associate with Americans of all races. I started laughing when he said he was going to sit down and get them married and then he carried on for another five minutes.
Ginger in Tech Support
This sermon was a fairly typical sermon I have heard at many weddings, most of them in the African American community. The preaching style is totally different. It was impassioned, not fire and brimstone. For reference, I grew up in a church that had wedding sermons that did have fire and brimstone. As far as I remember, no one preached about hell, condemnation, sinners, and shame, so this was hardly fire and brimstone.
Anonymous
I think that humanity thinks, somewhat universally, that preachers preach too long.
IHHtown
Yeah, by definition his sermon was not fire and brimstone due to its topic, about compassionate sacrificial healing love. Fire and brimstone is threatening a congregation to the depths of hell and torture to behave or believe in certain ways.
What I think you may be confusing is preaching style – his was very common to southern / Baptist / black churches where they preach with emotion and volume. Just because it wasn’t your style doesn’t mean it was bad. In fact she pretty obviously brought him and the gospel choir in to very specifically reflect African-American religious culture in the ceremony in very beautiful ways.
NY CPA
Thank you for your response. You’re probably right that I’m confusing his style with content. I heard “fire” over and over about halfway through, and he totally lost me. I just read the transcript of the sermon, and it made a bit more sense to me.
I agree that just because it wasn’t my style doesn’t mean it was bad. I just thought it was out of place in an overall more formal and “stuffy” (which is what I happen to like in a church) ceremony. But like I said, that was obviously what they wanted. It was their wedding, not mine. I just thought it felt out of place in the overall progression of the ceremony.
However, I did love the other elements she used to bring her background into the service! In particular, I thought the music from the gospel choir was wonderful.
Senior Attorney
Yeah somebody posted a photo of her smiling in the carriage on Facebook with the caption “That face you make when you just took a stodgy, patriarchal tradition and lit it up with social justice preaching and a gospel choir.”
Loved it.
Anonymous
1. When the camera showed her mom with misted-up eyes, I got very verklempt.
2. Cellist had a good sock game.
3. Bishop Curry used to be my bishop before became everyone’s bishop. I believe that he grew up in upstate NY but his people are immigrants from the Caribbean. His father was a preacher, too. This is a mightly homecoming for him, no?
4. Did not pay much attention to the veil, but wish I had. That is an amazing story.
5. Also loved the Bishop Curry on SNL.
Anonymous
you are a horrible person.
Anonymous
Maybe. But if she’s soooo black, why not marry a black guy?
Anonymous
Probably just one of MM’s relatives on her dad’s side.
Anonymous
Her mom looked sad to me – beyond the usual, my baby is getting married. I wonder if she’s worried that she’s totally lost her daughter to the royals —it’s not like she can just pop over to LA anytime she wants now as she’ll have royal tours etc and I imagine the royals need to “approve” it if you’re just going to leave to go home for a month.
Anonymous
I would imagine she’ll fly her mom to the UK quite regularly. Yeah she can’t go home whenever she wants but it’s not like she doesn’t have the resources to bring her mom to her.
Anonymous
I imagine it will be like how Michele Obama’s mother basically lived with them at the White House. Once there are grandkids (if), I imagine that she’s just be there all the time.
Anonymous
Oh good! We are using the happy occasion to reveal in open bigotry. How festive.
Anonymous
How they were in the past was colonizing and enslaving the world. So, there’s that. I think its wonderful and about time to see diversity and inclusion.
nasty woman
Obvious tr0ll is obvious. Maybe let’s not feed the tr0lls today.
anon
It was undoubtedly a beautiful wedding. However, that’s all it was: a beautiful wedding. They took every aspect of a typical wedding and amped it up a bit, but there was nothing astonishing about it the way I would hope for a royal wedding. Given that she’s stunningly beautiful, I thought her whole look underperfomed: she looked fine but not her best. All in all, it reminded me a ton of Mary and Matthews’ wedding in Downton Abbey.
In contrast, Will and Kate’s wedding had elements that were truly unexpected in some ways. I will never forget those live trees in the cathedral! And at the time, her dress was unlike anything else being made/worn at that time, even though now everyone does the sheer lace overlay thing.
Anonymous
I completely agree with you. I thought the whole thing was sort of blah, at least in comparison to Will and Kate’s wedding.
Anonymous
It was her second time around at getting married, which doesn’t get discussed much, but that is the truth. In most conservative, old-school families I know, a previous marriage for either party means the wedding is toned down somwhat. This isn’t one of those things I care about – people should have the weddings they want to have regardless of previous marriages – but I did wonder if the toned-down nature of the festivities could be attributed to the fact that she’s a second-time bride. In previous eras, that alone would have been enough for the marriage not to proceed, period.
Anonymous
I don’t think it’s fair to compare it to Will and Kate’s wedding. Harry is never going to be king
Anonymama
Yes, I think they deliberately didn’t have the same level of grand ceremony because of that, and also to discourage the inevitable comparisons.
Anonymous
The sheer lace overlay was definitely a thing before Kate. She may have made it more popular but I got married in 2010 and tried on several dresses with lace overlay.
CPA Lady
Extremely sappy person over here– I cried. It was so sweet. He just kept staring at her and rubbing her hand. I feel like William and Kate love each other too and are happy, but there is definitely this feeling that Kate is playing a Role and that this is a Job. I know that this will be a role and a job for Meghan too, but there is less pressure and Harry just seems way more chill. It seems like they are truly madly in love.
CPA Lady
Oh, and I loved her tiara.
NY CPA
+1 to all of the above — definitely shed a few tears!
Anonymous
I was struck by how much I don’t know/pay attention to the other royals. Like the Queen’s other children and grandchildren, many of whom I’ve never heard of. It made me wonder how long it will be before we just don’t hear about Harry at all – I’m guessing by the time that Will and Kate’s kids get married, Harry and Meghan will have been out of the public eye for a while.
Anonymous
I don’t pay attention to them and (thank you supermarket checkouts) know all about them. I prefer them to the Kardashians. Can you imagine of them in a modest wedding dress? Or in a church of any sort?
Anonymous
I mean actually they are committed church attendees so yes.
Anonymous
Who is? I believe Meghan converted (maybe she was Catholic?) and honestly I do not see youngish single grownups in church pre-engagement (and they don’t come back until they have a kid to baptize).
I believe that the holy water would boil if a Kardashian set foot in a church.
Anonymous
the Kardashian’s. You are misinformed.
k
I think she’s talking about the Kardashians, who actually regularly attend church.
Anonymous
The Kardashians are fairly religious. Just because you attend church doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a skimpy dress.
Anonymous
yeah, I agree. There was a reference during the coverage that one of the Queen’s granddaughters is getting married in August, and it’s not like we have heard anything about it otherwise. And I highly doubt it will have international coverage.
Anon
Charles is very committed to a smaller senior royal family and has intentionally sidelined his siblings’ children, although his brothers and sister are still active and heard of pretty regularly in the UK; Anne is consistently the hardest-working royal in terms of number of engagements. William and Harry are close and they’ve made much more out of operating as a unit so I think Harry and Meghan will still be important figures in both Charles’ and William’s reigns. The cousins (Harry and Meghan’s kids), maybe not.
IHHtown
I really appreciated, and frankly was surprised, that they incorporated such very American culture, and African-American religious culture specifically, into the ceremony – the pastor, the choir, the MLK quotes. The pastor was a bit much for a British audience, but again I think it’s more of a cultural difference them not being used to such impassioned preaching – but his message of love was beautiful.
I’m not gonna lie, I think her dress was incredibly underwhelming and ill-fitting. If your dress is going to be that plain, it needs to be tailored to the extreme. I wish she had added some kind of small collarbone length pendant or a belt or waist detail.
Anonymous
The choir was actually a British choir, I believe.
Anonymama
Yes, but a British gospel choir, which is very much an African-American tradition… a good way to combine the cultures, I think.
I actually don’t think the dress was ill-fitting, but a very stiff fabric and deliberately more Guinevere-esque than Kardashian in how it fit. In some photos the stiffness looks a bit weird, but overall I thought it looked like it was fitted to actually be worn comfortably and looked fine in movement. It was definitely designed with more of an eye to the overall effect than to be a show-stopper dress itself though.
In-House in Houston
I loved everything about it. I think the Reverend Curry went a little long, but other than that I loved it all!!
Anonymous
I loved it, too. The music, the homily by Reverend Curry, the references to African American culture and experience, the joy of the couple. Meghan looked so beautifully elegant. I think she’s walking a fine line of not wanting to look too Hollywood or slinky. Or maybe she just lost more weight than anticipated in the stressful run up to the wedding.
Ginger in Tech Support
When he said he needed to wrap things up and went on another 10 minutes, that was the most American sermon thing ever.
Anon
Lol spot on
anon
Right? I went to my niece’s baptism this weekend and it was the exact same thing “well, we have a baby we need to baptize! [10 more minutes of droning on]”
Ginger in Tech Support
You could time when we would get out of church as a kid by when the pastor said, “My time is almost gone.” It meant 10 more minutes of preaching and five minutes of altar call.
Anonymous
She was beautiful, but I have to admit that I’m somewhat baffled by all the articles about her “stunning” gown. It was unexpectedly boring and conservative and wasn’t tailored to perfection to make up for it.
Anonymous
My first thought was that her gown was poorly tailored. It looked homemade.
Anonymous
I loved her gown but agree it needed a bit more tailoring. But honestly I kind of love that it wasn’t perfect — just as her hair wasn’t perfect either. She is so naturally gorgeous that she shone anyway. And it made her seem that much more approachable and real.
Housecounsel
I read speculation that Meghan lost more weight than expected the week before the wedding so it didn’t fit as well as it should have – but wouldn’t you think there would be 15 seamstresses on call? But she looked elegant anyway.
Pretty Primadonna
This is interesting. I was noting how in the latest photos of her right before hte wedding, all her very strucutred dresses were not tailored to fit her. A friend suggested it was out of modesty. Another speculates she’s preggo! :-O
lemon
+1 she looked stunning of course, but I would’ve liked the dress to be tailored better. It seemed large on her. Such a simple dress needs to fit like a glove.
Anonymous
No it doesn’t. It’s designed to skim. In that fabric you can’t go skin tight. The neckline was absolutely perfect. You can dislike it but to say it was ill fitting is just wrong.
Anonymous
I agree. I didn’t think it was poorly tailored. It looked like it was designed to not be skintight. I thought it was a little plain but I don’t object to the tailoring. Meghan and Harry both looked so incredibly happy.
Anonymous
Disagree–it looked like it was designed to be fitted (not skintight) and there was extra fabric in some places where there shouldn’t have been. The neckline did not lie nicely.
emeralds
Yeah, I have to agree with this. It wasn’t meant to be skin tight. It was a stunning, architectural gown meant to highlight the woman wearing it, not upstage her. I thought the dress, her styling, that VEIL–everything was perfection. She looked like the most radiant, best version of herself.
And it had to be a conservative gown. She was never going to wear something more risque.
Veronica Mars
I can see the appeal of the fabric–I tried on a dress with a similar one and it looked beautiful in person! But I can see how it wouldn’t photograph well, especially when so many of the photographs were from far away (and really, unless you’re a princess, who’s going to use a telephoto lens on your wedding day?).
J
I loved the dress, but I gravitate toward simple but elegant styles. When I first saw it, I thought it looked great. At other times I sort of thought it looked like material that had stretched out and didn’t retain its shape as it was worn. I’m sure that wasn’t the case, but it kind of reminded me of my Old Navy jeans after a couple wears.
With the tailoring, I sort of wondered if she was trying to avoid the too tight Pippa Middleton effect that leaves the world talking about her bum for years to come.
Anonymous
+1 to avoiding the Pippa effect.
Ellen
I agree. Pippa Middeltown had a tuchus to die for, and I still hear from my dad on that point. That was so many years ago, I wonder if her tuchus is still so perfect? Is she MARRIED yet? I would think so with a tuchus like that, but you never know. Does anyone in the HIVE know about her status? If she is NOT married, I will have to go back to my dad and tell him that even Pippa is not married, with a perfect tuchus and all.
Anon
I thought the same. I think the dress actually grew during the ceremony as it stretched out. It looked great when she initially stepped out of the car, but she’d probably only been wearing the dress for 15 minutes at that point to prevent wrinkles. By 30 minutes, the dress fabric had visibly relaxed. It’s a shame because it probably wasn’t what the designer or bride envisioned.
Anonymous
Yeah, it was a shame that it was so wrinkled at the altar. You think they would have thought about it beforehand.
Anonymous
The cut of the simple dress could have been a winner, except it was far too big in the sleeves. I was very perplexed.
Anonymous
My thought was that the fabric didn’t have much give and a little room was needed for movement. I though the tailoring was spot on.
Anonymous
With that tailoring though it looked like something someone’s 60 year old aunt might covet for her wedding, not the much awaited dress of a thirtysomething Hollywood actress.
Aggie
I agree that the dress had a great concept, but did not fit her properly. It looked stiff and bulky.
The second dress by Stella McCartney was stunning.
anon
+1000 to the second dress. The first dress was fine. Nothing amazing, but nothing bad about it. She was probably smart to keep in conservative and simple. But the second dress was absolutely gorgeous on her.
Alanna of Trebond
+10000? I thought that the first dress was ill-fitting, to the point where I felt – couldn’t anyone have helped her out last night with the fitting? The second dress looked spectacular. I wish she had worn it for the wedding. (And also, amusing, given McCartney’s usual fit issues).
Anonymous
She couldnt bare her shoulders at the ceremony. I agree the second dress was sexier and more fun but she was obviously never going to wear something like that to the church ceremony.
January
The second dress was definitely more in line with what I had expected of her, but I think she is limited by her position.
Cardigans
Is there a secret to keeping them nice, or do you just accept you get one season’s wear max?
anon
Better quality fabrics. Unfortunately, a cotton/poly blend cardigan that cost $30 on sale from Ann Taylor just isn’t a magic cardigan (and I’ve spent years coming to terms with this.) I’ve been getting boden’s cashmere cardigans on sale and they just look so much better because the fabric doesn’t get miserable and drab looking.
Anonymous
Thanks – I suspected that may be part of it. My cashmere sweaters (not cardigans, winter weight) from Boden have held up much better than my winter sweaters from Talbots. Any other favorite brands?
anne-on
One season seems a bit extreme, my sweaters last anywhere from 2 to 5 years depending on how often I wear/wash them. The ‘secret’ is probably to either handwash them, or wash them on the delicate cycle with gentle detergent, and then dry on a rack (reshaping as needed).
Anonymous
I hand wash things like that when I want the fabric to stay nice. I have a no-rinse hand wash product that has been game changing.
Anonymous
What is the no-rinse product?
MagicUnicorn
Soak and Eucalan both make no-rinse fabric washes.
Anonymous
Make sure to dry them flat. If I hang them to dry, they stretch out and permanently lose their shape.
Housecounsel
I send them to the dry cleaner. They still rarely last for more than a couple of seasons.
Anonymous
Dry cleaning is worse. Mine age more quickly with dry cleaning.
Hand washing with Eucalan – as rarely as needed – laying flat on sweater drying racks to dry, storing in drawers folded carefully so they don’t stretch out, carefully shaving with a de-piller when needed helps a lot.
Ariadne
A majority of knitwear does not last long. Occasionally, a unicorn may keep going for years, but I find that even when I hand wash merino wool, it only lasts a couple of seasons and then wears out. Some cotton sweaters have lasted a while, but it is not easy to find one hundred percent cotton in the first place, and some that are too thick or thin, get misshapen. I’ve just resigned myself to replacing knitwear often, even though I still remain vigilant regarding fibre content. I believe that with sweater and knots, there are so many variables to quality.
Linda from HR
Most of my cardigans are the $15 ones from H&M and they last a good few years . . . as long as I don’t accidentally toss them in the dryer . . . I am starting to consider slightly nicer ones as part of my effort to smarten up my work wardrobe, but I’m on a budget, so like maybe something from Target, or Macy’s if they’re on sale.
Awkward Dinner Party Update
An update from my weekend away with the friend who tries to make fancy dinners but makes everyone miserable instead:
I took your suggestions and quietly discussed with the rest of the group that the big dinner was more stress than it was worth and they agreed! When Master Chef asked us what night we wanted his signature menu prepared, we said we’d really rather enjoy getting to spend time with him in the evenings, but could he coordinate breakfast instead? We always just get bagels and fruit to munch on, so that seemed easy enough to handle. He went ALL OUT and made beautiful fruit platters for each morning, had 4 or 5 types of bagels with a bunch of different schmears, and one morning made cinnamon rolls for everyone. The cinnamon rolls were the kind out of a can, but they were a fun throwback and it made him happy that he had “cooked.” Also, there’s nothing better than waking up to the smell of cinnamon on vacation.
Thanks for all of your suggestions and commiseration!
Cb
Gosh, that is the best possible outcome, isn’t it? Good on you for having the tough conversations and improving the outcome for everyone!
K
That sounds perfect!! I’m so glad it worked out.
Lana Del Raygun
WOW! I never would have expected such a good outcome. Hooray!
Anon
Yay!!! That sounds wonderful.
Tfor22
This is fantastic! Good job addressing the situation and getting an outcome that works for all.
Anonymous
How great. Your friend sounds like he really wants to show how much he cares, and it sounds like you found the perfect outlet for it.
Senior Attorney
That is all the win! Well done, you!
Protein
Vegetarians, how do you manage to get enough protein? I recently started tracking meals on MyFitnessPal, and I’ve noticed that on days I eat exclusively veggie I really struggle to meet the protein goals, even with plenty of lowfat milk, Greek yogurt, cheese, beans, and nuts. If I have fish or chicken at lunch or dinner, it’s much easier to hit the target. Is there some trick I’m missing?
Anonymous
What are your protein goals?
Have you tried fake meat?
Anonymous
how much protein are you aiming for? If you’re trying to get over 100 g, it gets pretty difficult. But I think most people overestimate how much protein they need. If you have 2+ servings of Greek yogurt (I like to have one serving in a morning fruit smoothie, the other as a snack), that can get you to 25-30 g right there. Also check out Banza pasta which is made with chick peas and has like double the protein of regular pasta, and Beyond Meat “beefy crumbles” – if I do Banza penne pasta with a “bolognese” sauce, that can get me another 20-30 g.
Anonymous
MFP is telling me 75-100g per day depending on how much I work out. I am trying to avoid fake meat. Thanks for the pasta recommendation–I will check that out.
Veronica Mars
I’ve heard you need your weight in kg for grams of protein per day. If you’re meeting that, I wouldn’t worry about an extra 10-20g unless you’re weight lifting or trying to build serious muscle.
Two Cents
That seems like a lot of protein to me?
If you have two small Fage yogurts a day that already takes you to 50g. Toss it an egg or two and you should probably hit 75.
protein is everywhere
You probably only need 45-50. Are you counting the protein in bread, grains, and vegetables that you eat? Everything is either fat, protein, or carbohydrate or — more commonly — a combo of each. Many people don’t think of veggies (other than dried beans and lentils) as having protein. But we know most veggies are not high in fat or carbs, so what’s left is protein. I’m not saying huge amounts, but 3 or 4 grams here and there add up.
Anonymous
Yes, MFP counts the protein in everything.
protein is everywhere
Never used MFP. I understand it counts protein in everything. But “everything” is only what you tell it. I thought a user might omit some things that the user thinks has little nutritional value — because it has few calories, little protein or fiber for example.
Torin
+1 to Banza. SO has celiac, so we tried a bunch of different gluten-free pastas. Not only is this one the best one, I actually like it better than regular boxed pasta. It isn’t as good as homemade fresh pasta, but nothing is.
OP I noticed your list doesn’t include eggs — do you not eat them? They have 6g each, and I generally eat at least 2 eggs when I eat eggs.
Protein
I forgot to mention eggs. I do eat them, but two eggs only contain 12g of protein, which doesn’t make much of a dent in a goal of 75-100g.
Torin
I buy bread with protein powder in it. 8g per slice. 2 slices of toast + 2 eggs + a couple handfuls of sauteed spinach = about 30g of protein.
Jo March
I’m a vegetarian, but admittedly not the healthiest one when it comes to eating habits, and I eat a lot of tofu and chickpeas in various forms. The key for me has been having different forms of the each of those at home (i.e. roasted chickpeas to munch on, canned chickpeas to cook/toss on salad, tofu to stirfry, etc.) so that they can go with whatever meal I have in mind. I’m trying to add protein powder to my diet, but I just don’t drink smoothies that often so I’m not sure how much longer I’ll stick to that.
Cookbooks
My parents were vegetarians, which meant that we had to eat vegetarian at home, and I remember lots of lentils, eggs, and tofu. I believe that quinoa is also high(er) in protein. Edamame is high in protein and easy to munch on. And my favorite: peanut butter.
Anonymous
I’m not sure what your protein goal is, but I think MFP’s default goal is pretty low, about 50g, which should be easy to attain. If you’re trying for some brotastic goal, it might not be necessary, or realistic if you’re also restricting calories. I usually get plenty of protein by eating eggs, lentils, whole grains, and yogurt. If you want the most protein for the least amount of calories, try eating more egg whites.
Anonymous
Legumes/beans/pulses, tofu, soy curls, eggs, seitan, nuts, peas. Vegan protein powder in a smoothie and faux meats, though I don’t think they are quite as good as the earlier mentions.
:
I’m Indian so i eat lots of paneer, daal, chickpeas, Rajma.
Anonymous
Are you planning your meals in advance? I find this totally overwhelming to do on weekdays so I plan on weekends.
I’m very visual so this might be crazy to some but here’s what I do – put the name of each recipe on an index card (or sticky note, whatever I have handy, but the index cards are easier to reuse) with whatever macros/micros I’m focusing on. I organize by breakfast and lunch/dinner, then match them up according to the numbers. If the numbers aren’t working then I can see where the gaps are and find a new recipe for whatever I’m missing. After a week or two you get the hang of which meals work best together so you don’t have to go through the whole process every time.
lea m
I’m not vegetarian, but I have a high protein goal (120-150g protein, I powerlift). Here are a few of my vegetarian meals I make frequently:
-Egg scramble : Egg whites (100g = 11g of protein), one regular egg (7g), veggies (~5g, usually spinach & broccoli), skim mozzarella (1oz=5g) = about 230 calories for 28g of protein. Throw in a Flatout low carb high protein wrap to add another 12g of protein for only 130 more calories. You can also add flavored tofu.
-Morningstar chickpea veggie burgers. I usually do two patties (22o calories for 20g of protein) on whole grain bread with hummus (depending on the brand, about 10g protein).
-Edamame – about 110 calories for a cup unshelled for 10g of protein. Trader Joe’s sells them frozen, and the whole bag is 2.5 servings. I usually eat a bag throughout the week when I’m craving salty foods.
-Icelandic/Greek yogurt: I like Siggi’s or Trader Joe’s Icelanic yogurt (15g-20g) or I mix plain Greek yogurt with low-calorie Greek yogurt to bump it up with increasing my sugar or caloric intake too much. (I mix 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt with 5.3oz container of the Dannon Greek Light n’ Fit Strawberry. It is more palatable because it isn’t as sweet as the Dannon yogurt, but the protein is much highe).
JuniorMinion
+1. Fellow lady lifter. I also do plain 0% greek yogurt mixed with whey protein powder and a few dark chocolate chips.
Basically I live on eggs, egg whites, greek 0% yogurt, chicken and shrimp (+ some whey protein powder / costco protein bars). Although I’m not a vegetarian, I would just replace my chicken / shrimp with egg whites / greek yogurt and probably eat more reduced fat cheese. My problem with stuff like lentils / beans / quinoa etc. is that in order to get ~10g of protein you have to eat a fairly large serving in terms of calories / carbs.
anon a mouse
I like the Premier Protein shakes — 30g per bottle. If I have one late in the afternoon it helps stave off the hangries before dinner.
Anonymous
+1
Buy them at costco, not too many calories.
Or a smoothie with yogurt/skim milk/protein powder/berries.
Gift Ideas
My mom is looking for an inexpensive gift (less than US$ 50) to give her boss’s daughter as a token on her graduation from law school . There were some threads with recommendations done in the past weeks and I am hoping someone can help me retrieve those? I am particularly trying to recall the book and planner recommendations.
Also, new suggestions of gifts under $50 are welcome. TIA
Anonymous
What about a local coffee shop or restaurant so she can treat herself while studying for the bar?
Anonymous
Mani Pedi gift card? maybe generic but I think its pretty fail-safe
Anon
My go-to grad gift is a padfolio customized with the graduate’s name. I don’t have a specific link (it’s been 3 years since I bought one- graduation lull) but I’d recommend checking Etsy listings or a local trophy/awards shop. Even if a real leather version is out of your price range, you can find nice faux leather ones that would still make a great gift and a useful item.
Veronica Mars
I don’t know if Costco.com still carries it, but they had a very nice leather Lodis neverfull-esque tote for $50. It also came with some kind of wallet organizer. That might be a nice gift. It’s a simple, professional bag.
Anon
2018 Silver Eagle coin.
anonanon
Calling all Birkenstock lovers – My Birks are over 15 years old – time for new ones. But I’m torn on whether to buy the new line of Birko-Flor sandals that aren’t leather but are waterproof versus the original leather sandals. The price difference is ~ $25 so that doesn’t matter for purposes of this decision. Thanks!
Veronica Mars
Leather all the way!
Birks
I have the Birko-flor material and I like them. I didn’t know that leather straps were an option at the time I purchased though and not sure how that would’ve affected my decision. I like mine a lot. They’re a mocha color that I like because it never matches but also never clashes with brown leather purses/belts.
Saguaro
I bought the original leather ones, after considering the plastic ones, based on the reviews that the leather ones provide more foot support and comfort for longer walking (e.g. vacations).
anon
The Birko-Flor feels just like leather, if that makes a difference to you. But I wouldn’t call them waterproof, and I didn’t realize Birkenstock made that claim. Maybe the straps are technically waterproof, but I still avoid getting them wet because of the suede lining in the footbed.
Ranon
+1
Anonymous
I prefer leather to Birko-Flor because the fuzzy lining of the Birko-Flor gets stinky and itchy, and makes little fuzzballs at the edge of the straps.
Oslo?
Does anyone have any recs for Oslo in late August?
BabyAssociate
Definitely spend some time in Ekebergparken, it’s a sculpture park with a beautiful view of the city. Be sure to check out the Skyspace exhibit and the vantage point depicted in Munch’s Scream.
I’d also recommend walking up the opera house and then walking over to Vippa, a great food hall on the water.
Anonymous
The Viking Ship Museum and the Norsk Folkemuseum — they are both on the same island in the Oslo bay. Take a ferry to get there. I think we got the Oslo pass and a lot of it was included. Really beautiful museums, both of them. The Folke Museum is an outdoor installation of a variety of traditional houses and structures and one of them is a bakery — get there at the right time and you can have some bread!
https://www.visitoslo.com/en/product/?TLp=181482#product-info1
https://norskfolkemuseum.no/en
Anonymous
Thanks!
Anonymous
The other day, a poster asked if she could take Indian dance classes without causing offence.
As an Indian, I say…go for it. We’re genrslly very welcoming of outsiders and you shouldn’t worry about cultural appropriation or whatever…that’s not a thing in India at all. I mean, Even Meghan Markle wore a sari in India upon request, so its ok for us lesser mortals!
PS: i hope Europeans are not offended by my decision to learn piano:)
Anonymous
I don’t think you understand what cultural appropriation means.
Anonymous
Nice, really nice.
A classic example of a PC attitude that has become so offensive from the progressive left that you even offend the minority group that you are trying to condescendingly “protect”.
Anonymous
POC and other “minority group[s]” can be agents of white supremacy by reinforcing structures of inequality.
It is not the poster’s job to teach others what cultural appropriation means.
Anonymous
I don’t think what I said was offensive to the OP. I am simply pointing out that I don’t think she understands what cultural appropriation means. The example she gave (Meghan wearing a sari upon request in India) is not cultural appropriation and I don’t think anyone would argue that it was.
Anonymous
Also, I am of Indian descent and I believe there is such a thing as cultural appropriation. If I saw a non-Indian person wearing a sari as a Halloween costume, I would be ticked off.
Anonymous
Cultural appropriation of Indian culture is totally a thing.
If I take an Indian dance class for fun and am respectful about it, that’s one thing. That’s cultural sharing and appreciation. I am a non-Indian WOC and have taken belly dancing for fun because I enjoy the challenge of the moves and like the music.
However, I did not then decide to become the (fake) expert on Indian dance, start wearing the traditional outfits, applying henna, wearing a mish mash of styles, and then open a dance studio to make money off of commodifying Indian dance…that’s a problem.
Anonymous
Re your last paragraph – I totally agree and you really hit the nail on the dead. I’ve often wondered if this applies to yoga?
Anonymous
My whikeypalian church has a yoga class. Do we also have a Problem (with a capital P) now?
Anonymous
Whoops… nail on the HEAD.
anon
There’s a lot of literature out there on the westernization of yoga and the extent to which modern yoga practice constitutes cultural appropriation. Not a discussion I’m particularly well-versed in myself, but it’s interesting and important.
Anonymous
I’ve had the same thought, too. I think there’s probably a difference with yoga as an athletic activity and yoga as a spiritual activity, although I wonder if yoga for fitness has been inappropriately divorced from its spiritual origins.
Meghan Markle wearing a sari at the invite of Indians in India is totally different because people in the culture invited her to participate. Its not the same as a random non-Indian person wearing a sari to dress up for Halloween.
emeralds
Anonymous at 10:31, there are many excellent articles addressing the question of cultural appropriation around yoga. Google will pull up some great results.
Good news, none of them say “quit doing yoga, white people!” if that’s what you’re concerned about. But do go do some more reading around how to decolonize your yoga practice.
And I would say, for Anonymous at 10:35, as a middle-class white nominally Episcopalian lady who does yoga, that a yoga practice run by our church is fraught with a lot of potential for appropriation. Especially if it’s run by a church that is closely associated with the religious tradition of the people responsible for oppressing and persecuting the original practitioners of yoga (e.g. white Church of England during the British Raj), and is not openly addressing the questions of appropriation and access. But of course, YMMV, and others may have different perspectives.
Anonymous
Doing some “reading around how to decolonize your yoga practice” is the whitest thing I have ever read. Yah, you could do that. Or you could just do yoga and get on with your day.
Anonymous
I Agree that learning Indian dance is not automatically cultural appropriation. But there are definitely ways to appropriate Indian culture. For example, wearing a sari to dress up as “an Indian” on Halloween. And the piano analogy is not a good one – you can’t equate the majority culture and the minority culture.
Anonymous
I get that the piano analogy doesn’t hold because it’s not apples and oranges (piano is colonizer culture and dancing is colonized culture). But on the other hand, saying so can sound like a continued assertion of cultural dominance. Is there a time when Indians get to feel like their culture isn’t at a disadvantage vs. something like piano?
I doubt that time has come (see above on how that sermon wasn’t really classy enough for a royal wedding, or the assumption about Kardashians and church). But the idea that we need to enforce an appreciation of disadvantage on people makes me uneasy.
Anonymous
What? the assumption about Kardashians and church has nothing to do with their race (which is white) or ethnicity. It has everything to do with how trashy they are. What a ridiculous statement.
Anonymous
But plenty of “trashy” people go to church. We’re not all Anglicans.
Anonymous
I don’t think Indians are disadvantaged compared to white people. But I do think Indians are a minority (in the US at least and there was no indication from the OP that she’s living in India) and whether the culture in question is a minority or majority is relevant to the issue of cultural appropriation.
ANON
I don’t see any problem with it if you want to learn for personal interest. This is a popular dance class in many parts of Canada. What I would potentially find problematic if OP were to make a profit, somehow commercially gain something from it without full studying/appreciating the cultural significance.
So I do have issues with ZUMBA instructors all of a sudden leading Bollywood dance classes without learning about the background. Someone who is a fangirl of Bollywood culture and wants to open up the class as a way to introduce Indian culture- go for it.
yup
Yes, I thought it was a ridiculous conversation. Of course the woman should take Bollywood dance and enjoy herself! Are we not supposed to learn karate, or take Zumba lessons now? Come on.
signed, proud Indian
yup
I absolutely believe in cultural appropriation, by the way. But learning Bollywood dance is not it.
Anonymous
It’s a delicate dance.
In my family’s part of flyover country, the guy with the local karate school is Lumbee.
Alanna of Trebond
I totally agree. Non-POC are waiting to call each other out on “cultural appropriation.” It is nonsense.
Anonymous
Yep. Blanket concern over cultural appropriation (e.g., on the moms page someone recently said that teepee-shaped play tents, which don’t have fake Indian decorations on them and are not intended for use playing “Indians,” are problematic) is just a way for educated white liberals to signal virtue to other educated white liberals. Instead of scaring people away from learning about other cultures, we should be inviting each other in. If people are discouraged from taking ethnic dance classes, studying foreign languages, or visiting cultural festivals because they are afraid they will be engaging in cultural appropriation, it reinforces mistrust and stereotypes and only increases the divisiveness that is causing many of the problems in our society.
Anonymous
You are confusing cultural appropriation and cultural sharing. That invitation is up to people from the culture. The problem of cultural appropriation arises when someone decides to unilaterally participate in the culture, usually in an inauthentic way that the culture does not want. Attending a cultural festival is one thing. Dressing up in a fake costume while attending is another.
PolyD
“Blanket concern over cultural appropriation … is just a way for educated white liberals to signal virtue to other educated white liberals.”
Ha. Yeah, I kind of agree with that.
Anonymous
@12:22, that is the exact point I am trying to make. Too many people mislabel cultural sharing as cultural appropriation, which discourages people from taking part in cultural sharing.
Anonymama
+1
Anonymous
I wasn’t there, but I don’t think it’s ridiculous to ask if something is problematic.
Yup
Asking wasn’t ridiculous at all (although I feel sad that she felt she needed to ask in the first place). I was referring to the many people who said that taking a Bollywood dance class is inappropriate because it is cultural appropriation as being ridiculous.
Wedding gift help -- Germany edition
A friend of mine who lives in Germany was recently married. She is American; her husband is German. I attended the wedding in the US, but forgot the card with USD cash I had intended to give them. I plan to send them the card with cash (Euros), but figured I’d ask if anyone here had a better idea, like maybe for a gift card for a local store. They’re in Bremen and did not register anywhere. Thanks!
Anonymous
I would not send cash in the mail, ever. You should be able to send them a gift card online – I’m sure you will get good suggestions for stores.
Anonymous
Not to pick on you but just as a PSA – never bring a card with cash to a wedding. If you really must bring cash (which you shouldn’t) then hand it to an actual person who is in charge of collecting cards… and won’t just put it in the card box (which they probably will). I know way too many people who have had their card boxes stolen from their reception. Mail a check that is written out to the individual you’re closest to (not the couple).
Anonymous
If you’re looking for a department store (for housewares and whatnot), Bremen has Galeria Kaufhof and Karstadt
Anonymous
Favorite sandals with arch support? Years of wearing flip flops caught up to me.
Anonymous
Birks, Naot Kayla sandals
Anonymous
Birkenstocks.
Anonymous
Birks
Cookbooks
Birks or Merrell
Anonymous
Borns are really comfortable, they have decent padding in the foot bed but still a bit light on arch support.
Those strappy yoga sandals from Amazon that everyone was wearing last summer are super comfy.
There’s a brand of rubber orthotic flip flops but the name is escaping me.
Anonymous
Vionic flip flops.
Dansko.
brokentoe
+10000 to the Vionics
Anonymous
Any style in particular?
brokentoe
Orthoheel Technology Tide II seems to be the new incarnation of the Tide I of which I am on my second pair. These flip flops have as much arch support as any shoe (including Danskos) I own. Each season it actually takes a little bit to get used to the fairly high arches but then I can walk miles in them. I even turned my 20-something daughter on to them who lives in NYC and commutes in them in the summer.
brokentoe
I have the Bronze metallic ones and they are surprisingly versatile (and not really metallic at all).
Anonymous
Honestly, I just stopped wearing sandals altogether unless I am at a pool, on a river, or at the beach (and I mean literally on the water, the rest of the trip I don’t wear sandals). I wear running shoes or more casual athletic shoes. Life is too short for uncomfortable feet.
Ariadne
The naot Paris or sandals or the sandals that share this shape/ sole that is rigid, and a footbed that is cuishioned but lies on top of a rigid sole. The taos shoes, as well as danskos may work– key is to have rigid sole so when your foot strikes the surface so there is minimal twisting or movement, and your foot is secure. I’ve heard fit flops and vionic can work too.
PolyD
Rockports, Earth, and Earthies. Some versions of Clarks are pretty good, too.
Okabashi!
Try Okabashi flip flops – they have a ribbon style that looks like normal flip-flops but have great arch support. They’re the only flips flops I’ve ever been able to stand in all day without destroying my feet.
Talk to me about 2L
My best friend since forever is wrapping up her second year of law school. I am not a lawyer or in a legal field – can the lawyers here give me some context on how the second year of law school compares to the other years? Our friendship has become really strained over the last six months or so. I feel like she’s become a different person. I’m wondering if a lot of our challenges are due to law school stress – is your second year widely known to be exceptionally stressful? Is there anything I can do to be supportive?
Anonymous
2L was the pits (for me).
Anon in NYC
Same
Anonymous
Was she trying to line up her 2L summer job? If you strike out at on-campus interviewing (which takes place the summer before your 2L year) (assuming you are aiming for a job at a large law firm), then 2L year can be very stressful. It can also be stressful if you are on law review or another journal. Classes, generally speaking, are less stressful than 1L, but some of that only applies if you have already lined up a job for your 2L summer.
OP
It’s interesting what you mentioned about classes being less stressful – compared to 1L she’s seemed to have a lot more free time, but her stress levels seem way higher for some reason. She’s not looking to go into big law, but that doesn’t mean good summer placements just fall out of the sky. Thanks!
Torin
So, it’s not just about the amount of free time you have or summer jobs. For me, law school was a three year job interview and the uncertainty just about killed me. If she’s not looking to go into big law, her job search might actually be more stressful. I didn’t, and finding a job was _hard_. Big law has a very structured way of handing out jobs. You know where to go and when and who to talk to. Government too, or at least it seemed that way to me watching other people do it. If you’re trying to get into something else, there’s no road map, and you mostly spend your “free” time sending out thousands (literally. I kept spreadsheets) of job applications, getting total silence in response, and freaking the eff out. It feels like you’re spending 3 years and 6 figures digging yourself a hole you’ll never be able to climb out of because you’re never going to find a job.
Pompom
all of this.
There are summer jobs (not “placements” anymore; you are applying and hustling and part of the market), and school year jobs and externships and competitions, and it’s all gotten murkier and less regular than it was when many of us were in school.
I work in law school administration now, and boy, I do not envy these students. And I graduated in 2010. So, that says a lot haha
Anonymous
Yeah I ended up in biglaw because that’s the job 1) I could get 2) that would allow me to pay my loans and modest COL.
I definitely didn’t do enough due diligence before law school. I didn’t know the interest rate was going to jump to 8.5%. And I guess I just assumed that employers hiring recent grads would have to pay enough for folks to repay their loans. Yeah I was wrong. That hit me at the end of 1L/beginning of 2L when I started seeing exactly what jobs were out there. And how hard it was to get an interview that wasn’t set up by OCI. The rest of 2L and the summer after was consumed by worrying about my financial future.
eggplant
+ 1,000,000
There’s a much more clear institutional path for big law firm jobs (on-campus interviewing programs, career services, etc.) And if she goes to one of the very top law schools in the country, then going to a firm can honestly be the path of last resort. Getting a job outside of that system is tough. I had friends a few months from graduation who still hadn’t secured placements, friends who were moving across the country for relatively low-paying fellowships with the hope (but not promise) of getting a full-time position, or friends who took on school-funded projects with nonprofit organizations, again with the hope of getting hired. It is a stressful time.
Anonymous
What’s that saying… first year they scare you to death, second year they work you to death, and I forget what they said about third year. But yeah 2L was crazy stressful for me too. I can’t tell from your post whether it’s just stress or something else. If you’re comfortable sharing why you feel the friendship is strained, we might be able to evaluate better. Like if she’s generally cranky and never available, you’re fine. If she’s actively being a jerk then it really doesn’t matter how stressed she is, she needs to cope better. Life as a junior associate was way worse than law school.
Anonymous
3rd year they bore you to death. That entire saying was 100% accurate for my law school experience.
Pompom
First year, they scare you to death.
Second year, they work you to death.
Third year, they bore you to death.
It’s an old trope, and it’s cliche, but it’s not far off from the truth. It’s the one shot to change meh 1L grades, its prime recruitment time for post-grad jobs, big competitions/opportunities accrue in the 2nd year.
Be helpful by giving her the leeway she might need, and understanding that the active part of your friendship may be taking a backseat at the moment. It will pass, it will. But it will come out of dormancy in her 3L, when she’ll be ready for some distractions (in all likelihood).
Anonymous
Specifically, 2L they work you to death on law review.
Pompom
Yep, this was my experience, too.
Of Counsel
When I was in law school (back in the dark ages) we had a saying: “First year they scare you to death; second year they work you to death; third year they bore you to death.” Second year can be extremely stressful because of the sheer amount of work, added to the pressure of job hunting.
But also, do not underestimate the impact of being taught to “think like a lawyer” on relationships. In my group, the non-students SOs definitely noticed that we became more combative and unable to think or talk about anything without picking sides and over-analyzing. The good news is that about mid-way through third year, we became real people again. I can still remember the wife of a classmate talking about how glad she was that we were finally past that initial phase. So you might just need to give your friend some time.
Of Counsel
Pompom beat me to it!
anon
Echo everyone’ sentiments so far. 2L was miserable for me. I felt like all I did was work, any joy in the novelty of 1L was gone, my optimism of 1L was gone. So many of us were miserable and felt isolated- when we weren’t scrambling for summer associates positions we were bogged down in coursework, research positions for professors, law review or moot court (both of which are tremendous time sucks and utterly boring to anyone not involved). I was in school in the thick of the downturn, so there was a constant feeling of panic w/r/t summer jobs, which theoretically set you up for your first employment after graduation. I found it difficult to explain this to people who weren’t also going through it– no I can’t just relax and do something chill this summer, no I really do have to be in the library doing these citations until midnight…. I think patience is the best thing to offer her. Summertime might be a good time to reconnect.
Mrs. Jones
2L was AWFUL.
Anonymous
+1. And I think there are some aspects of 2L year being awful that aren’t just being worked to death. I feel like all the competition of 1L year comes home to roost the second year. It’s painfully obvious who is at the top of the class, who made law review, who is performing well in moot court, who got the coveted summer clerkships or Big Law jobs. And who is just scraping by, hoping to graduate. And if you are that second category (which realistically is more than 50% of the class), it can kinda suck.
Cookbooks
2L was busy for me, among other reasons, because I interned through the year. So if I wasn’t in class, I was in the office. And I agree with the poster above: law review and finding a summer job can be trying, too.
I used to totally fall off the radar during the academic year, but resurfaced during the summer.
Cookbooks
2L was not great. It was busy for me, among other reasons, because I interned through the year. So if I wasn’t in class, I was in the office. And while job hunting for the summer luckily went well, I think I moved that summer, which didn’t help.
I used to totally fall off the radar during the academic year, but resurfaced during the summer. Hopefully once her summer plans have been worked out she’ll reappear.
Anonymous
2L was terrible for me too. Classes and grades still mattered, and I found them harder than 1L. I was looking for a 2L summer job the first part of the year, and a post-law-school job after that. Law review and moot court took up a lot of time. Just the stress of finding a job took its toll.
3L might have been the best year of my life. I had a job lined up and didn’t have to apply for anything anymore. Law review was way less work. I took classes I was more interested in. I had enough credits to just take 3 classes my 2nd semester. I spent long afternoons shopping with friends, took 5-6 trips during spring semester, and had time to eat well and exercise again. In terms of grades, it was my best semester, but at that point, grades were completely irrelevant.
Facebook
Does anyone know how to download all the Facebook messages with a friend? A dear friend who really was more like a sister passed last year, and it would mean the world to me be able to save some of our older conversations. We would message each other basically every day, so it takes too much scrolling to bypass everyday chitchat to get some of those more meaningful conversations that I want to save. I just want to save our messages, whether as a pdf or text file, I’m flexible. Is there a website that can do this for me? Or a browser extension? I couldn’t find an option within Facebook itself other than to download all of my account’s data.
NOLA
Could you screen capture the important conversations from Messenger? They’d be saved as pictures, but at least you’d be able to view them easily.
FB
Can’t you just open the thread and copy-paste? Or do you mean things you posted on each other’s Wall?
Facebook
Some of the conversations are 4-7 years old – even scrolling to them once to get back that far (in order to screenshot or copy/paste) would take a very long time. I was hoping to just open the message thread and be able to download it.
Anonymous
With all the privacy concerns recently, there were several articles about how to download all your FB data. I did it, and it showed all the messages I’ve ever had with every friend. I don’t know if there’s a more targeted way to download messages with just one person, but it seems like that would work.
Facebook
attempted reply in mod but basically those conversations are so old that it takes superhuman effort to scroll back to them. Was hoping for a website or browser extension that could export the entirely of the messages to a pdf or text file.
Download Your Data
You can download your entire FB history. It should include your messages.
Facebook
Yes, figured it out, thanks! I originally thought it would truly be everything, but you can opt for only certain parts of your facebook data (i.e., messages is its own category). Thank you!
Anonymous
The pants on the model do not match her blazer. Looks like a different color and different material.
MKB
Yeah, I don’t think it’s offered as a suit.
Anonymous
Right. But who would wear that expensive blazer with an almost matching pant? Go with a different color!
New Grad
Talk to me about getting approved for an apartment. I just graduated and got a job but I’m not making enough to afford an apartment in the city where my job is, so my parents are going to help me by paying part of my rent for a year (please be kind in any comments about this arrangement). I don’t make the required 3x rent in income, so if I apply on my own, I know I’ll get rejected. Should my parents be the ones to fill out the application? Is there a way to fill out a joint application? What’s the best way to go about this? Thanks!
Anonymous
You’ll list your parents as guarantors. It’s totally common.
Anonymous
You can’t just list them as guarantors. They have to sign something b/c the landlord wants someone on the hook to pay if you don’t.
Pompom
There’s usually a line in the application for a guarantor. My dad had to do that for me when I got my first corporate-owned apartment after law school, because my clerkship was not 3x the annual rent. He didn’t pay, but agreed to sort of “co-sign” for a set amount of time. The leasing agent said this was really normal and she didn’t bat an eyelash. She knew I was employed and could pay, and I did.
Cookbooks
One way to handle this is by using a guarantor form, which is essentially insurance that your parents (or the person acting as guarantor) will take responsibility for rent should you fail to do so. They’ll do a credit check on you and the guarantor. I’ve done this during law school and never had a problem.
Anonymous
Your guarantors will likely need to make 10x your monthly rent. Just FYI. And yes, this is common. If neither you nor your parents make the required salary (3x for you; 10x for your parents), some landlords will allow you to pre-pay the entire year’s worth of rent and forego the guarantor thing.
Anonymous
Wow — how do people do that? I’m in BigLaw and feel like b/w taxes and loan payments, I will never save that kind of $.
Anonymous
https://streeteasy.com/guides/renters-guide/what-is-a-guarantor/
Anonymous
Depending on the market/this particular apt., it may not even be a problem. I live in DC, and the only people I know who make 3x their rent are in biglaw. I’ve never had a problem, despite making less than that. But I did have to get a guarantor in NYC when I was a student, and it was no big deal.
Senior Attorney
I just went through this with my son. He hadn’t actually started his job yet when he was hunting and I was going to co-sign if necessary. At the big corporate apartment complex they required the guarantor to make 10x the rent (and I was super miffed that they seemed to think that would be a problem for me, which it was not), and at the small owned-by-a-small-investor unit he ended up taking, I filled out an application as guarantor but then they ended up leasing it to him on his signature alone.
Moral of the story is you may have better luck with smaller landlords.
Anonymous
Are your parents able to give you the rent assistance money up front, and would that plus your salary get you to 3x rent in salary + savings? Every time I’ve rented, savings could be substituted for income.
PSA for Fashion Tape brands
PSA: Can confirm that Topstick Men’s Clear Double Sided Grooming Tape (aka toupee tape) is better than Hollywood fashion tape in terms of stickiness, ease of handling, etc. I’m making the switch. Available from Amazon.
Anon
Do your parents live in the same city or near you? My friend’s father, who would have acted as her guarantor, advised that she applies without him first because he doesn’t live in the same state where she would be and it could get complicated. Due to her low income, the building ended up offering her a subsidized space that wasn’t advertised for way cheaper than she would have paid with her dad as guarantor.
Nantucket!
Going to Nantucket this weekend and have never been. Any favorite restaurants or local finds?
It’s a girls weekend, so not looking to do much but eat good seafood, relax, bike around a bit. LMK if there’s a gem you look forward to or miss that we should hit. Thanks!
anon
It’s Figawi this weekend! (Big regatta – lots of parties and people and booze). Between that and just general 3 day weekend celebrations it will be a pretty crowded time on the island, but a fun one too! No specific suggestions but have so much fun, it’s a beautiful island.
anon
(To be slightly more helpful: if you’re at all interested in seeing the boats finish and then parade into the harbor, you should be able to get a good vantage point from Brant Point Light on Saturday afternoon, exact timing depends on weather conditions)
ACK - OP
I have heard about Figawi (including how it got the name–bahahahaha) and am pumped. Wasn’t sure if I should make dinner reservations or just play by ear….
anon
I’d probably try to get reservations!
Anonymous
If you end up in Sandwich on the way, eat at the Next Door Burger Bar. Yum!
NYCer
Sorry for the late reply. Galley Beach is a good choice for a nicer dinner. Go to Provisions for a sandwich (Turkey Terrific is a crowd favorite). Cisco Brewers. Bartlett Farms. Have a fun weekend!
Black Tie opinions
I’m attending a black tie gala in DC on a Friday night next month. I went last year as a guest and most women wore black, floor length gowns, but there were a few colors here and there. I played it safe last year in black gown but this year I feel like dressing up more. These are my options for now, but I’m still shopping. My friends are in favor of the sequin dress. The navy dress is safe and will definitely fit in. Opinions? Are the sequins too much?
https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/2020331/carmen-marc-valvo-infusion-ombre-sequined-v-neck-gown
or this but in a light navy
https://www.dillards.com/p/calvin-klein-crepe-halter-gown/505845865?di=04625907_zi_black&categoryId=-10005&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1
Anonymous
You want to wear the sequin dress so wear the sequin dress.
The navy is perfectly fine but you’re right it’s safe aka boring.
Also… you’ve been to this event so you know better than any of us what attire is appropriate. To the extent you need validation from an internet stranger, so granted.
Torin
That sequined gown is GORGEOUS. It might be a bit much for some events, so I really can’t say whether it’s “too much” for this specific one. If it _is_ a bit much, do you care?
anon
Even if it is a bit much, you’ll basically dazzle everyone in to awed submission. It’s so gorgeous.
Senior Attorney
If you do not wear the one with the sequins, the angels will weep.
Legally Brunette
I love the sequin dress and I think you should wear it and rock it! But if you really care about sticking out, you could wear the other one.
Team sequins
Gorgeous, gorgeous dress, and, while it’s classic, it’s also on trend, so I don’t think it would stand out the way it might have in another year.
Mrs. Jones
Sequin dress FTW!
Anonymous
Puhleeze – wear the sequinned dress.
Rethinking hobby
One of my hobbies is sewing clothing, and I receive “where did you buy that?” compliments on my makes. I usually make skirts, dresses, and occasionally tops. So much of my closet is filled with items that I painstakingly finish with linings, french seams, high quality fabrics, etc. my workplace is really casual, and even the simplest cotton skirt in a plain solid color reads ‘fancier.’ I think this is because I take so much time to desing and make it, it stands out.
I still want to sew, but I find I’m reaching more for my inequpensive items that I buy, just to feel more current and fit in at my workplace. This is making me question the expense and ‘relevence’ of my hobby for my lifestyle. I like the calmness and creativity this hobby offers me, but it seems easier to buy something to fit in, even though I could make something similar and better fitting. Not sure what my question is, but I want to make more things, but not sure they will get worn.
Anonymous
I have the same issue with sewing. I enjoy the process, but I find it difficult to find projects that will result in something I actually want to use. It was easy when my kid was little and I could make her lots of cute little dresses and skirts. Now that she is too old for those things I sew much less, and it’s mostly household items like pillow covers and travel accessories like cosmetic bags. I have also had fun making some cosplay-quality Halloween costumes for my daughter. Can you focus on sewing non-work clothes–evening gowns, going-out dresses, church dresses, etc.? Or bags? Or coats?
Rethinking hobby:
Yes, I have been more selective about projects, but I want to enjoy as well– I would like to get into bags an sewing for my nieces more– I just don’t see them that often.
K
You enjoy sewing, so you should keep sewing and make whatever you want. I personally don’t think it matters if you’re a little more dressed up than your coworkers. Maybe it’ll inspire them to dress nicer!
Sewing anon
+1. I also enjoy sewing and I am happy to be wearing something unique. I do have to look for patterns that are a little less tailored and for fabrics that are thinner (even if I will then line the garment), which is the mainstream now. It’s silly, in my opinion, to aim to match the ubiquitous decline in garment quality to blend in better. I have been enjoying the resurgence of vintage-inspired fashion but I have to remember to wear something completely classic or something completely casual with my nice tailored-to-me tops to make sure it doesn’t look like a costume.
Make me some please...?
What about starting a side-business? Maybe you could offer to sew a dress/skirt etc for the people who ask where you bought yours? Perhaps you can make something for your family as gifts or start an order-based email for this kicka$s group of ladies? An etsy shop?
This will allow you to keep sewing while allowing you to expand your wardrobe with the easy/trendy options
Rethinking hobby:
I would totally sew for people, but I’m afraid they might be disappointed…not with the item or quality, but if it’s not how they envisioned, it’s hard to backtrack. People seem to choose the wrong fabric for the project, and it’s hard to convince them it may not fly…until they see it on:)
anon
I also sew many of my clothes and try to make them look as nice on the inside as out. It’s a struggle. I would say I make about half of my items and focus on classic pieces that will last and make the time I’ve spent worth it. I’ve found that classic work dresses with sleeves work year after year. But, don’t punish yourself for buying clothes. Just because you can make it doesn’t mean you have to. I struggled with that for a long time. I also like making a sewing plan for each season. First I look to see what is missing in my wardrobe or needs to be replaced. That way I’m making something that I will definitely wear. Right now it’s shorts and tops. It’s also hard when it’s time to retire a piece that you’ve made. It can be very emotional.
Rethinking hobby:
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head regarding punishing myself for buying rather than making. I still like to purchase things (jeans, t shirts) rather than make them. I have a cotton lawn sheath dress that is a bit big, but that I made when my husband returned home from the hospital…I’m very emotional about that as I made it while he recovered, even though I do not wear it that often.
Anonymous
My husband loves to sew and sounds similar – his favorite things to make are complicated coats. (He’s dissimilar in that he does not care what he looks like and runs around in stained t-shirts under his lovely coats most of the time, sigh). But I think the main point of the hobby is not to save money or be practical, it is for enjoyment. Make things you like because you like making them – the process is important, not just the product.
Rethinking hobby:
Thanks you for the all the suggestions and comments. My husband suggested that we purchase a small wardrobe or pax extension at ikea, just to house the makes. That way, even if I wear them less, it would be a display of sorts for my hobby. A bit worried it would to fantasy closet territory, but I’m hoping I stay practical enough:)
Anonymous
KonMari would approve of displaying your creations because they spark joy.
Anonymous
I don’t sew so maybe take this with a grain of salt… but have you thought about being your own tailor? Idk if that’s taking away the creative aspect for you?
Or maybe get an inexpensive but current item, like from Old Navy or similar, and use it as a pattern to make a higher-quality item?
Rethinking hobby:
Love that idea:)
Rethinking hobby:
I like your idea of sewing for others. I’m just afraid that I will mess up, as I have mostly tweaked my own measurements, so I guess my fear of this is holding me back:)
Anonymous
Here’s an off the wall suggestion (but I support the idea of sewing and wearing because you like it) –sew and donate to your local Goodwill or thrift shop? Or even consignment? When I was a poor college student, I would have swooned if I found something lovingly constructed but contemporary at a price point I could afford. Then you don’t have to worry about “customer satisfaction” as a business, which might really sap the joy out of it, but instead trust to the serendipity of donation and thrifting.
Rethinking hobby:
Love this idea– ages ago, I made silk sheath that ended up waaay too tight on me. I gave it to my sister, who wore it belted a few times. She was a student at the time, and ended up selling it or trading it at a consignment store. I was really surprised, as I didn’t think anyone would wind up appreciating it- I only saw my own mistakes! I love the serendipity of donation- I should trust that someone will find and enjoy, as that has been my experience:)
Adventurer
Any favorite scores from the REI sale this weekend/week?
Torin
New Salomon trail runners! They weren’t on sale so I used my member discount woohoo!