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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 105 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Talbots

Suit of the Week

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stylish navy herringbone suit For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. If you're on the hunt for a subtle but stylish navy herringbone suit, Talbots has a great one now. As always, I like that it comes in a huge range of sizes (regular, petite, plus, and plus size petites), and it's always nice to find them 25% off. There are matching pants, a dress, and the two button blazer, all priced between $134 and $231 today. Italian Luxe Knit Herringbone Suiting This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! (Don't forget to check out our recent roundup of how to build a work wardrobe at Talbots!)

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Comments

    • Anon

      For a casual wedding maybe. Gonna need more details about the wedding before I can say anything else more definitively. But it’s not a very formal jumpsuit.

      • Fishie

        Not super formal, just a typical cocktail attire wedding. I thought so too, but was hoping I could get encouragement to pull it off!

    • Anonymous

      Maybe if it was sleeveless, but this one kind of looks more like a tshirt and pants.

    • Scarlett

      I actually think you could pull this off. I’d go dressy accessories, high heels, sparkly earrings. I don’t think anyone is going to pay super close attention to the fabric & styled right, definitely. I think jumpsuits are really versatile. Also, I’m assuming you already have this item & I’m also a huge fan of repurposing what I already own for things like this.

      • Anon

        But the thing is, you don’t have to be paying close attention for it to read as casual. That’s what let all of us take one look at it and go “no, probably not.” It’s the overall look that makes it not appropriate for a wedding.

        • Scarlett

          Eh, I’ve worn something similar to formal events & it’s been fine. I just don’t think people pay as close of attention to you as you think they do. I also think the styling in the photo makes it seem really casual & styled differently, it would be fine. That said, depends on where you are, but OP said it’s not a super formal event. Of course, YMMV.

  2. Anonymous

    I know there are some financially savvy women on this board and I’m hoping to get guidance on a dispute I’m having with DH. We’re in our early 30s, with no kids and no debt beyond about $50k left on our mortgage (with a 3% interest rate). We’ve got decent retirement savings (including non-sheltered investment accounts we can access) and are looking to diversify by purchasing a rental house down the block (we’re in an area with a strong demand for rentals). Both our parents and siblings have rental houses, so we’re well aware of all those issues.

    The dispute is that my husband really wants to buy the rental property, but won’t do so unless we also payoff our current mortgage first. So, he wants to pull money out of our booming (non-sheltered) investment accounts to throw at a small debt with a 3% interest rate. I would prefer to only pull out the minimum necessary for a down payment on the new property, and scale back our current mortgage payments to the minimum. Moreover, I think any “extra” money should be put towards the new property, which will certainly have an interest rate higher than 3%. I mean, you should put the money towards the debt with the higher interest rate, right?

    This has been a long running issue between us, he is absolutely OBSESSED with paying off the 3% mortgage. It makes me crazy to think the investment returns we’ve missed since we bought the house 8 years ago because he was dumping all our money into a 3% mortgage. I makes me equally crazy to put extra money towards the 3% mortgage rather than an new, higher rate mortgage. He was literally a math major, so it’s not like he doesn’t understand the issue.

    • Anon

      You are right, he is wrong, and this is his personal hang up about debt, not math. Don’t forget that your primary home mortgage interest is also tax deductible if you itemize, so the effective rate is less than 3%.

      FWIW I was also a math major and currently work in finance.

      • Anonymous

        +1 This is a personal hangup about debt. Mortgages and car loans are really good ways to borrow cheap money so that you can invest elsewhere.

    • Clementine

      Yeah – my husband is obsessed with paying off our mortgage too. Like, we literally had some student loans at 7% interest and he felt that paying off the mortgage was more important.

      It’s an emotional thing, not a logical one. I realize that it was drilled into his head by his parents that a paid off mortgage equaled financial success and security. I think you need to either accept that you’re going to pull this money out of investments or just wait to buy the rental property, because option C: Convince my husband that his deep seeded core value that paying off mortgages and only carrying one mortgage at time is silly and that my way of thinking is important isn’t working.

      On that note, please ignore me while I pay off student loan debt with money that should be the extra cushion in my emergency fund…

    • Anon

      He is operating based on feeling not logic. He knows good and well it doesn’t make financial sense to pay off a 3% mortgage early and, tbh, he’s neglected his family (i.e. you) by pursuing the “thought” of a fully paid off house at the expense of much higher gains elsewhere. It’s not like you’ll be free from costs related to housing – you still have property taxes, insurance, and repairs.

      We can’t tell you anything here that you don’t already know. But you need to have a discussion with your Husband about why he feels the emotional need to pay down the house first.

      Also, so not let him touch your gaining account to put into a 3% debt. It’s better to do nothing with it and let it grow than lose out on the growth.

      • Anonymous

        I think “neglecting his family” is a bit extreme. I agree that from a purely economic perspective the OP’s plan makes more sense. But I also understand the husband’s point of view. Let’s keep in mind that there is always a risk/reward tradeoff to any investment. I look at paying off the mortgage (or any debt for that matter) as a more conservative investment option. You have the guaranteed return of 3% (or possibly less assuming they are eligible to deduct the interest), which you have to weigh against the riskier option of putting the money into equity investments or real estate, both of which could absolutely lose money if there is a market downturn.

        Neglecting your family would be failing to save for retirement when you had the ability to do so and instead blowing the money on booze and gambling. This is a difference of opinion about the best way to invest what appear to be discretionary funds.

    • Anonymous

      It’s literally not about math or money at all. If it’s such a trifling amount pay it off. It matters to him and doesn’t matter big picture at all.

    • Anonymous

      Not only will your rental property have a higher interest rate, you’ll probably need to throw a lot more money at it for repairs, upkeep, preparing it to be rented, etc. Being a landlord can be expensive! Your way makes much more sense.

    • anon

      I get your husband’s perspective, because I lean that direction, too. I realize it’s an emotional issue, not a financial one, but in my mind: no mortgage = sweet freedom. Freedom to make different choices for work, freedom to invest in other things. I also realize it’s not the most financially savvy choice, so I acquiesce to my DH’s desire to NOT pay off the mortgage.

    • Torin

      You’re right about the math, but I get why it might be scary to do it your way. It _feels_ riskier to potentially have two mortgage payments you have to make entirely from savings if one or both of you loses your job and your rental property is empty at the same time. Have you asked him to express why he wants to pay off the 3% mortgage first? If you explore the reasons he wants to do that maybe he can be rationally talked out of his fears and into doing this the way you want to.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to this. I can do math and realize a 3% interest rate is low, but having two mortgages would REALLY scare me. Can you pay them both on one income? What if one of you loses your job?

        • Anon

          Just curious, is it something about two mortgages specifically that makes you nervous? Would you feel differently about one mortgage and some other kind of debt?

          • Anonymous

            I wouldn’t take on other debt. Investing in real estate with a mortgage is borrowing money to invest. I’d never do that to buy stock.

          • 3:09 pm

            Yes, I generally feel that way about any kind of debt. We buy (cheap) cars in cash and never have consumer debt. It was important to me to pay off my student loans before buying a house (although paying off my student loans ASAP was also a mathematically rational decision – they were at 10-12%!).
            I do know people who have taken on one mortgage before paying off loans and that makes more sense to me because often you’re wasting money by renting and there are tax breaks on a primary residence. But I don’t see any upside to taking a second mortgage for a rental property when you could just be throwing excess money in index funds.

      • OP

        The concept of having two mortgages if something bad were to happen does sound scary, but I think the math is still the same. If we don’t throw money at the mortgages, we would have a larger balance in our investment accounts, which we could withdraw to pay all kinds of emergency expenses (including the mortgage payments). And, in the meantime, the money in the investment accounts would be earning interest (which would not be the case if the money was used to payoff the mortgage).

        Thanks everyone for the advice, it’s nice to know that reasonable people can see it both ways.

    • Anonymous

      I also would not rush to pay off the 3% mortgage. In fact, you may not need to take any money out for a down payment on the rental property–if you have substantial non-sheltered investment accounts, you may be able to get a securities-backed mortgage. You’ll probably still get a higher return on your money in an investment account than you would paying down a mortgage on the rental property. If the rental property is a good investment, you should have positive cash flow that can be used toward the principal on the rental.

    • Anon

      Your husband isn’t “wrong” and neither are you. There are plenty of people, particularly in the FIRE community, who do things his way, and plenty of people who would do things your way. You need to find a middle ground and not go into this thinking one of you has to “win” or “be right.”

      • Anonymous

        seriously yes. Why are you fighting about this? Let him do it his way if he feels that strongly about it. Not everything has to boil down to the exactly optimized mathematical result. I don’t get why you’re resisting on this when your goals seem to align well for the most part. It’s not going to hurt you to do it his way, let him have this. Sheesh!

        • OP

          We’re definitely not “fighting” about any of this, we just have two different philosophies. I make substantially more money than my husband and want a say in how its invested. We have been doing things his way, hence paying down 85% of our mortgage in 8 years. Taking on a new property is a big deal, and I want to be thoughtful about how we do it. I’m not going to just let my husband “do it his way” and make all the decisions about our finances because he feels strongly about it. I have opinions too.

    • Anonymous

      Your booming investment account isn’t always going to boom. This is a good time to take some of the gains.

  3. AnonForThis

    Reposting from the morning thread
    Looking for advice on dealing with random “extra projects” that I keep getting handed. I’m happy to pick up things that I’m actually good at but reviewing legal documents, making misc. business models, economic modeling etc are not those things because I am not an attorney/economist or FP&A person. I understand that I should be happy/grateful for the opportunity to learn more in these areas but i have too many projects in my actual job function and have neither the bandwidth nor the inclination to keep getting spread thinner and thinner

    • Torin

      You could try things like, “I won’t be able to get to it until next week with my current work load.” Something that expresses that you’re busy rather than uninterested in the work.

    • MFF

      This week’s episode of HBR’s Women at Work podcast covered this issue and offered some really great suggestions.

  4. Equestrian Attorney

    I need help investing with Vanguard (I’m in Canada, so they have only become available fairly recently). I already have investments elsewhere, but want to try them since they seem to have good options and low fees. Where do I start? How do I pick funds? Will they do it for me? I know lots of readers on this site have experience with this so any advice is appreciated.

    • Canadian Investor

      Unfortunately, Vanguard in Canada is not like Vanguard in the US. (I’m also Canadian, so I commiserate.) While they do now have mutual funds available to us, you can’t open an account with them directly and instead buy the mutual funds through whichever brokerage you already use – e.g. TD Direct Investing, Scotia iTrade, QTrade Investor, etc. While their funds are a good value and definitely worth considering, they aren’t nearly as much of a bargain as their US counterparts.

      I’d suggest checking out the Canadian Couch Potato blog and their model portfolios for Canadian-specific info on the best low-cost index investing options. They keep that site really up to date.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        Thanks – I spent some time on the Vanguard website and realized this, which is a bummer. I will look into Canadian Couch Potato!

  5. Anon

    I am looking for some recommendations on warm shirts. In the winter time I end up wearing regular t-shirts and whatever random sweatshirts I have around (often stained and worn out). I think I’d look more put together by simply wearing warmer shirts.

      • Anon

        K have a hard time finding sweaters that don’t make my middle section stick out, most make me look pregnant.

        • Anonymous

          I have the same problem. Try cardigans! The tightening with the buttons around the middle can draw the eye in.

    • Anonymous

      I have a SmartWool-type shirt from Lululemon that I love! I don’t think they have it for sale right now, but you might look at actual SmartWool shirts.

      • Anonymous

        Athleta has also has washable merino wool turtle/mock neck shirts that I rotate through the winter.

        But really, the key is to layer. I usually wear at least a tank top under shirts/sweaters in the winter. And sometimes I throw a down vest or scarf over the long sleeve layer. Find a sweater that doesn’t have a ribbed band at the bottom won’t be as likely to blouse up. Like a swing style (slightly A-line) or with a roll hem finish. Flannel shirts are always an option – I’d suggest Lands End/LL Bean/Eddie Bauer/Duluth Trading Company.

    • Anonymous

      If you have a Costco membership I always buy the 32 degree sweatshirts – they’re like $10, warm, and more flattering than a typical sweatshirt.

  6. Anonymous

    Thank you to those who chimed in on my party menu post yesterday afternoon :) I love entertaining and I’m good at it, but I can definitely bite off more than I can chew sometimes, so I like a reality check! With your votes, I’ll be going with the easy, no-prep-required veggie tray and doughnuts. Thanks again :) And I’d invite you all if I could!

  7. joan wilder

    I’m looking for a birthday gift idea for a thirty-something guy friend who is very into gadgets and gizmos but that doesn’t cost a lot of money. Is there a unicorn idea in the $25 maximum range?

    • AIMS

      The zojirushi coffee mug. It’s the one consistent hit gift I give to men that can be described the way you describe your friend.

    • Anonymous

      Try Uncommon Goods–they have a lot of options in this price range. I’ve gotten one of my brothers (32) a set of light up legos that he can fiddle with when he’s working.

  8. Anonymous

    What kind of socks do you ladies prefer? I’m looking for recommendations for thin socks for boots. I hate the synthetic material on the socks I bought from Target – they lose their shape and are not breathable, but I also find Smartwool itchy.

    • waffles

      I love rayon made from bamboo. I find it a great breathable and soft fabric. No specific brand recommendations, I usually just search for bamboo rayon socks on amazon.

    • Anonymous

      Uniqlo makes nice thin socks. I like both their regular calf socks and their HeatTech socks to pair with boots.

    • Anon

      Merino wool socks from Costco. They have more than 75% wool. I machine wash them in cold water and hang them dry. They are my favorite winter socks for third consecutive year.

    • EM84

      Smartwool and Icebreaker wool socks – I have a collection of all thicknesses and lengths, luckily, I feel zero itching.

    • Anonymous

      wool in the winter, cotton in the summer. I got Calvin Klein cotton socks at Gabe’s last year.

  9. Paging good dysmorphia

    Your comment this morning inspired some introspection :). I also just read Shrill, by Lindy West, which has a lot about self image.
    I used to feel the same way about my face, like I didn’t recognize myself. I changed that by spending more time looking at my own face- I know it sounds terrible, but I started wearing makeup, and I started scrapbooking vacation photos.
    How often, and how clearly do we really see our bodies in the mirror? I have a “full length” but it’s so dusty in such a dark corner I can’t use it to tell if my socks match my shoes. Not to even mention the scene in “The Color Purple”…

    • Anonymous

      I am like Blanche DuBois — I live in an old house that didn’t have any wiring for overhead lights at all, so I look fabulous with all lighting from lamps. And there aren’t any full-length mirrors. And my near vision aint’ what it used to be, so I look awesome.

      Maybe Blanche was on to something?

  10. No pay?

    Ugh – I just learned that my employer will not be able to make payroll this week. I’m not involved in the numbers/$ side of the business though I know that cash-flow has been a concern for a while. Due to the nature of our work and funding, it will probably continue to be a concern. I really, really need to update my resume and get ready for job-hunting, don’t I? And cut expenses right now? I think I’m still in shock & not thinking of everything I need to consider.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not “get ready” for job hunting, it’s “put your resume together right.this.minute and send out applications tonight.” Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      Your employer is not paying you for doing your job. Of course you need to job hunt!! How is this even a question?

    • Anon

      Yep. Also, if you have work provided health insurance, you might start putting in regular calls to your health insurance company to make sure you still have coverage. You should also check that any payroll deductions (like for a 401(k)) are making it to the right place.

    • Minnie Beebe

      I’m so sorry.

      And yes, if I were in your shoes, I would immediately reach out to my network and polish up my resume. Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      Just did a quick google search and found this:

      https://lifehacker.com/5993754/what-should-i-do-if-my-employer-just-stops-paying-me

      I don’t know what kind of industry you are in, but knowing that the nature of your work and funding is that you may not get paid is a huge red flag. In the normal employment world your employer should get a short term loan to pay its employees until the cash rolls in. Otherwise, they need to start laying people off, moving people to part time, or closing up shop.

    • Anon

      You need to get out as soon as you can. A business that cannot make payroll is going under, and soon. Not making payroll is one of the last things a business will resort to if it is headed to insolvency. This is not a “should I look or shouldn’t I”, this is a “I will be out of a job shortly” type of situation, unless its an issue with a major client contract being delayed or something to that effect.

      • Anonymous

        This is correct. Signed, a lender who deals with workouts and troubled companies extensively

    • Anonymous

      Yes, this is a very bad sign. If the company does not have cash for payroll, that’s dire. I’m so sorry.

    • Anon

      Yes, you need to pull your resume together and send out job applications now. It takes a few weeks to sort through resumes, interview, interview more, and hire, so get that started now.

      Don’t worry about taking time off from work (so long as you cannot be terminated for it) or using your lunch hour to send out applications.

      You need to have a line ready as to why you are looking. One of my friends was in a similar situation and just said, very bluntly, that her company was unable to make payroll and she could not work for free. Have a few anecdotes about what you like about it.

      Also look at your state’s unemployment insurance laws. There may come a point wherein your best bet is to quit (because you aren’t being paid), save the commuting costs, and devote all of your time to job-hunting.

  12. Raise Negotiation Tips

    Reposting from the morning thread: I have my first ever meeting to negotiate a raise tomorrow. I’m going to be moving up in the company from an entry level job to a step up from that, plus taking on a couple other responsibilities. Any tips on how to handle this and make it go well? I’ve researched “market rate” for the position and I’d like to get a 30% raise to be in line (on the low end at least) with what is standard in our area. Does that seem fair?

    I’m really anxious!!! I’ve never had to negotiate a raise before…it was always just set by my previous companies/bosses…

    • Anonymous

      If you can, let them throw out the first number. Be prepared that they might not offer as much as you hope. Candidates promoted from within sometimes don’t get paid as much as new hires from outside. Go in knowing the number you want and try to get close to that. If this is the type of organization that regularly promotes employees after a year or so at entry-level (like an accounting firm), your raise might be more in the few thousand range instead of something more.

    • Torin

      Ask for the 30%. Discuss what you contribute, your good performance, and the new responsibilities. And don’t undervalue yourself!! It took me entirely too long to demand what my position was worth. I finally did it because at that point I was so fed up I felt like “well if you’re not going to pay me what I’m worth I’ll just quit so I don’t care anymore” and I was genuinely surprised to actually get the raise I wanted. I’m still kicking myself for waiting so long to ask.

  13. Pointy or round toe pumps?

    I looking to purchase a pair of Louboutins. I don’t like the flashiness of the red sole, or the price tag, but need pumps with no more than a 3″ heel, that come in a US size 4 and supposedly run small. After Michael Kors stopped making shoes in my size, I’ve tried every sub-$500 pair at Nordstrom with no success.

    What are the Hive’s thoughts on a round/almond toe like the Simple pump vs. a pointy toe like the decollete or pigalle with a 70 mm heel? Patent or regular black leather? These would be work shoes (I’m in BigLaw, fwiw). Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      You might look at LK Bennett, too, if you’d like to avoid the red sole but want a premium brand. I have a pair of their pumps that I have worn into the ground–they are by far my most comfortable heels, and the tallest I wear with any regularity.

      • NOLA

        Although LK Bennett runs small, they start at 4.5. It looks like Jimmy Choo could be a possibility. The Louise et Cie Jayant pump, which I bought in the NAS, is less pointy, but a stylized chunky heel that is comfortable but could look dated quickly. I can’t say they run small, though.

    • Marshmallow

      I think pointy is coming back around and looks more modern to me lately, but just be careful about fit. I am on the verge of donating some very pretty LK Bennett pointy toed pumps because, even though they’re the same size as my almond-toes from the same brand, the point just.pinches.my.toes.so.badly.

    • Anon

      You might want to try Shoes of Prey. They do custom shoes for way lower than $500 and you can design every part of the shoe, or get one of their pre-designed shoes. But the shoe is not made until you order. They can do your size easily.

      • Anon

        Shoes of Prey stopped taking orders in August actually, they said they’ll be selling or revamping

    • Never too many shoes...

      Speaking from experience, the simple pumps are among the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn in my life. They just seems to pinch everywhere even with half size up and stretching wearing wool socks. And I do not think it is the brand because the Bianca is my very favourite shoe ever (but higher than you wanted and some people do not like platforms).

      Have your tried the Manolo BB – it sounds like what you might be looking for and it comes in a lower heel version.

      And for my money, patent all the way.

    • ValkyrieLawyer

      I wear my Louboutins to work and absolutely love my regular black leather pointed-toe Pigalle pumps with an 85 mm heel. I also have a nude patent leather 35mm version that is awesome.

      They do need breaking in a bit, and I HIGHLY recommend that before you wear them, you take them to a shoe repair shop so they can protect the red sole.

      Otherwise, enjoy. They are great shoes.

      • Round or pointy toe

        Thanks all for your comments! I read that Manolo BB’s run large, and Nordstrom does not have a sub-3” Jimmy Choo pump in stock. I did recently purchase a pair of Romy’s in beige patent and 65mm heel that I love.

        Valkyrie-thanks for the tip. What would a cobbler do to protect the soles? I’ve read about re-soling with red vibram, just not sure if that is a standard in stock thing at any cobbler. Or is there a clear option?

        • ValkyrieLawyer

          There is a clear option, but because I am VERY clumsy, I have the cobbler put on a red sole (not sure what it’s made of, but the red matches the original sole pretty well) that covers the area where the ball of the foot would go, and is “grippy” so I don’t slip.

    • Anonymous

      What about Stuart Weitzman Chelsea (Zappos currently on sale in size 4) or Leigh 70? Do they have to befrom Nordstrom?

    • Anonymous

      Ferragamos come in smaller sizes like 4 and would check a lot of those boxes

  14. Unicorn tote

    Guys, I’m in search of a new work tote bag and don’t know where to start. I’d like something with the following features: zipper closed, leather, a compartment to hold water or my Yeti, a second padded compartment to hold my 15 inch but very thin laptop a, at least one internal zipped pocket to hold things like tampons, lipstick, an internal compartment just for a phone, but wide enough to carry two phones, stands up on its own.

    My goal is to keep it under $400. Does anyone have a recommendation? Someone mentioned the Dagne Dover Allyn tote which, while it pretty much fits the bill, I don’t find very attractive, so any rec but that.

  15. Conferences

    Following up on the morning threads about conference attire, what kind of bag of any do you carry? In the past I’ve taken work totes but am thinking I want to be lighten up.

    • Anonymous

      I have taken a Lands End boat tote, it’s lightweight, carries swag, and I don’t care what happens to it.

    • Ms B

      Vintage Coach Neo tote, Longchamp Neo tote or satchel in a fun color and shape (the plum crossbody is my current fave – it even holds my Surface!), or, for more casual events, a Sportsac tote in a fun but neutral pattern (think large dots, directional stripes, etc., but nothing cartoonish or cutesy). Nothing leather, nothing heavy, nothing that can’t be shoved under a chair.

  16. Anonymous

    I need help drafting an I’m-just-not-that-interested text to a man I’ve been on a single, short date with. We tentatively set Friday evening for a second/first “real” date, and I would like to cancel. No single thing, but far too many small issues are making it a no-go. This should be easy but I’m stumped!

    • Anonymous

      Has he initiated this second date yet? If not, don’t text pre-emptively. Wait until he asks, and when he does just say something like “It was nice to meet you, but I don’t want to pursue anything further.” (A message like this avoids him thinking that that particular time just doesn’t work for you.)

      • Anonymous

        Yes, he has and we’ve chatted a bit by text. I’ve had first dates where a mutual ghosting is sufficient–that’s always the easy way out when neither party follows-up. On this one, I wasn’t totally sure I didn’t want a second date until today–and we’ve already discussed scheduling for the next date, so canceling is definitely in order.

        Thanks all for the help! Dating is hard…and rarely fun. The fun ones (and, hopefully, finding one that sticks!) make it all worth it, though.

    • Anonymous

      “I enjoyed meeting you last week, but have decided I’m not interested in pursuing things any further. Good luck to you.”

      • Anonymous

        +1 while he may still ask why, this is very clear. And you do not owe him and answer on why if he decides to ask.

    • Anonymous

      Some version of, it was great meeting you but I don’t think we have the kind of connection we are both looking for. Good luck out there!

      Used something like that a few times, seems to have worked well enough. It’s SO AWKWARD, especially if you’ve already discussed a second date, but don’t waste your time on a date that you are not excited about.

      • AnonInfinity

        This is what I’ve done, and I’ve done it several times even after already scheduling the next date. I’ll say something like, “I’ve been thinking about our last date, and I don’t think we’re a match. I hope you find someone really cool, and I enjoyed getting to know you!” I’ve never been met with anything other than a positive response. One guy asked why I didn’t think we were a match (but in a very respectful way and without trying to talk me out of my decision). I told him that the right chemistry wasn’t there on my end.

        It’s awkward, and it might sting him for a bit, but it helps me to tell myself that I haven’t been too torn up when receiving those kinds of texts myself. My ego will be bruised for a day or two because another person did not recognize what an amazing, special, gorgeous unicorn I am, but it passes quickly because I realize that after a couple of dates I wasn’t emotionally invested in him either. YMMV, but this is what typically pushes me over the hump and gets me to just send the darn text. Plus it’s much kinder to do it ASAP so he’s not looking forward to the date for any time longer than necessary.

    • Anonymous

      some variation of: I have to cancel Fri and I find I’m not interested in rescheduling … it was nice to meet you, though, and I hope you enjoy your weekend.

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