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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 125 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Norma Kamali

Suit of the Week |

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Happy Wednesday! Velvet suits are a really popular option in the fall (as are velvet blazers on their own), but they can be a lot of look — particularly with a rich, beautiful color like this Norma Kamali suit has — so I'll start by suggesting this may work better for the office as separates, rather than a whole look — unless you work in a creative office. (But you do you!) This color is amazingly lush and interesting, and I like the darts and the seams, and it seems affordable, all things considered. Note that the pants are a pull-on style — I'll leave it to you guys to debate whether this is the suit version of a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit from the ’90s. But I think it's a fun, comfortable way to do a strong, bold, velvet look. The suit is available at Shopbop in sizes XS–L. The jacket (Single Breasted Jacket) is $265, and the pants (Velour Boot Cut Pants) are $140. The selection for velvet suits in plus sizes is not great, to say the least, but right now Talbots has two bright red suits in plus sizes. (Hmm, in announcing their plus-size collection for fall, Talbots appears to have moved away from their “woman” and “woman petite” size ranges.) This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Kat, I was looking at this Velvet Suit for the jacket only, and b/c the manageing partner LOVES me in red, he has approved the purchase! YAY!!! (I can also wear this goeing out or on the weekends in the Hamton’s, so it will do DOUBEL DUTY!). I only hope I can attract a spouse wearing red, as they say, it gets men all hot and bothered to see a blonde like me in Red! YAY!!!!

  2. Anon

    You almost gave me a heart attach that Talbots was phasing out woman petites, but the site has 222 new arrivals coded as ‘plus size petites new arrivals’ . . .

    • RR

      Yeah, there seems to be no difference in size offerings. They are just putting them under “plus” instead of “women” and “women petites.” I don’t think Kat did any further digging on that.

    • Anon

      Yes.

      The jacket would be borderline; I cannot fathom velvet pants being okay.

    • IHHtown

      I think it could work for themed office holiday parties…and that’s about it.

      In the winter Uniqlo usually has velvet leggings and skinny pants in darker colors. Very on trend but cheap enough not to fret if you only get a season’s wear.

      • pugsnbourbon

        I like the idea of black or wine-colored velvet skinny pants. But I feel like I would become one giant ball of lint and dog hair and no sticky roller could every truly help.

    • Anonymous

      I love it and I would wear it to my big law firm. But I’m kind of known for flashy but professional (in shape) pieces.

  5. flattering cuts

    How do I know what hemline to look for in a top to make it the most flattering? For example, some are straight across, others are curved in the front/back but higher on the sides, some are hi-low, scalloped, etc.

    Also, where should a top hit on the body to be the most flattering? For example, at the top of the pants or at the widest part of the hips or where the hips taper into the legs or…?

    I want to choose what is most flattering but with so many options, I have no clue!

    (In my case, I’m short, very hourglass, 34 y/o)

    • Marshmallow

      I’m an hourglass too and I find that an untucked top should hit somewhere around where my hip bones are (which is higher than you think). If tucking in, a little higher than that also looks good. Any longer than that– especially if you’re short– can make your legs look shorter and draw attention away from the waist.

      As for shape of hemline, it’s probably something you just need to try on. I like shorter in the front and longer in the back for casual wear or half-tucking, but straight across or slightly curved if it’s for work and will stay untucked. If tucking, of course, it doesn’t matter.

    • Ariadne

      I also think it depends on how close fitting the top is. If I’m wearing a knit top that skims my body and hugs curves, then it will have different overall effect than something draped and flowly. Since the length of top varies based on fabric weight, stretch, and shape, it make take some trial and error to find that perfect length.

      Overall, I think curved hems are flattering as they seem to not cut you in the middle with a straight line. I also like tops that have those ties to accentuate a waist. I’m busty, but I still like flowy tops. To prevent the billowing, and boxy look, I buy flowy tops just a tad tighter with a curved hem, and darts to give more shaping. I have some nice wrap tops and knot tops that stretch and look better shorter, especially with skirts. With straight leg or skinny jeans most top lengths seem to work. I find that skirts look better on me with shorter tops, as do wider leg pants, though I wear those rarely these days. I don’t tuck in, and wear most tops with cardi or jacket, which can also play a role in selecting length.

  6. Unofficial Adult Adoption?

    I’m in my mid-30s, a professional with an advanced degree but NAL, and I happened to come from toxic parents whose siblings disowned them before I was born. For similar reasons, I had to disown each parent. All of my grandparents were gone when I was tiny. I’ve never been married, no kids (am unable but am also happily childfree).

    I’m wondering if there’s a way to find a few awesome women to build relationships with whom I can learn from, talk with, and sort of fill the void left by not having a mother/aunt/grandmother… maybe even an older sister?

    I read sometimes here that some wish they had family in their lives or they seem to have lots to give but no one interested, so I thought I would ask here.

    • Arundhati Roy

      +1 following

      Or if no one has any suggestions, we can be each others’ family :)

    • Panda Bear

      Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m lucky to have a great sister, but my mom hasn’t been part of my life for decades, since I no longer share her religious faith. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me – I wouldn’t want a relationship with her at this point anyway – but I can relate to your feeling that there is a bit of a void. We need an mom/grandmom version of Big Brothers/Big Sisters!

      What about volunteering for something you are passionate about? It may necessarily not lead to finding the great female family surrogate you’re wishing for, but volunteering can feel great for its own sake, and it might introduce you to people who share your interest in a common cause, and who could eventually become friends or mentors. There are plenty of sociable older ladies who volunteer with me at the local cat shelter!

      And/or, how about getting involved in a professional association of women in your industry or city?

  7. Leah

    Juicy tracksuit, no. Pianist in a November Rain video, yes. As a child of the 80s, I approve.

    If I worked in a creative field I’d wear the hell out of this, though I’d be doing full-on Cirque du Soleil moves in the morning to keep pets from brushing up against me before I got out the door.

  8. Peloton

    Anyone have a Peloton bike? Their marketing is getting the better of me…but wanted to hear some first-hand experience. I have only attended spin class a couple times and enjoyed it, and we enjoy outdoor biking. Can you get a a full body workout? Is the machine good quality? Good customer service? Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      I work with a user who seems to love it.

      I hate having another big thing in the house and like actual bikes. Inside, I like a recumbent bike for medium exercise + trashy reading.

      My parents have a nicer model nordic track that they use as a clothes rack. Not going to go there myself.

    • Clementine

      That marketing… it feels like they look into my soul, say “I know the person you aspire to be,” and the ads are exactly that.

      Sincerely, someone whose morning run was cancelled by a toddler who started sobbing when she tried to strap them into a jogging stroller…

    • anonymous

      I got a peloton last week! I love it. From purchase to set up, everything was very simple. They also have other classes (off the bike) that I haven’t tried yet, but I like the flexibility.

    • Lobbyist

      I own one. The last time I mentioned it in the comment section was in response to a question about the favorite thing you own — and I answered my Peloton. It sits right next to my bed, I did a 45 minute class this morning; I’m participating in a 3x a week team challenge where you ride 3x a week and your team gets points verus the other teams if you do them all. The workouts are great — there is great variety — I am a road biker and was a regular spinner before, but there are many many newbies too. I thought about it FOREVER before buying it because it is so expensive, and I live somewhere I can bike outside 9-10 months of the year. BUT STILL I love it and I am so glad I bought it. I almost always now can work out 6 days a week, because its so convenient. I do bike outside and swim and lift, but the days when I can only do 5:15-6 am I just get up at 5, get on the bike, and then I’m done by 6, no transition time no nothing. Super convenient. I also LOVE the competitive aspect, of “racing” against others, yourself, and seeing all the metrics. I rarely do live classes but when I do my outputs are always better than when I do the older ones. If you can, go to a hotel or a showroom and try one out. I think you’ll be convinced.

    • Anon

      Don’t get a Peloton until you’ve established a habit of biking for exercises. It’s way too expensive (several thousand dollars) for something you don’t know you’ll like long term.

    • MNF

      I use one at my gym and love it. In the past I have not been a cult-y exercise person, but totally have drank the kool-aid on peloton. They’re so expensive, so it’d be tough for me to afford one, but if it’s in your budget I totally recommend.

    • Anonymous

      I have one. My complaint is that my arms are short and it is not comfortable. the handlebars only rise/lower, but they dont come forward. I suggest really trying one out and making sure it is entirely comfortable for you. I like it though, but I still prefer to go to “live” HIIT classes.

    • Anonymous

      I just received mine two days ago. I had a commercial spin bike that I used for 4 years prior to my purchase, so I know I enjoyed spin. One option is to find a cheap bike and use the app for a while to see if you like spinning. While I do believe my commercial bike is more solidly built than the Peloton, the Peloton provides metrics that the commercial bike does not.

  9. Isabella

    What kind of schedule do people do for their trips? In the travel budget thread this morning it was all about what not to spend money on, but when I’m budgeting for a big trip, I’m all about making sure I have enough money to do it all, because I probably won’t ever be able to go back.

    I tend to settle into a rhythm of travel day- outdoor exploration day-museum/interpretive center day.

    -Travel days are wildcards, obviously, depending how far we’re going. Sometimes we squeeze in an activity, but this is also usually the day where I schedule in downtime and rest.

    -Outdoors might be hiking or walking around a city, birdwatching or people-watching (no binoculars for the peoplewatching–that causes concern). We may also explore a big open architectural feature on these days, especially open air ruins. This would be the day for a picnic lunch from a local bakery and a big dinner with dessert.

    -Apparently my family are hardcore museum-goers. Going to a museum (or a science center, etc.) means looking at every thing in every room, unless the place closes before we can. Those are pre-packed grocery store lunch days, unless the place doesn’t allow outside food, in which case you have to make do with cr@p from on-site. And at the end of the night, we’re exhausted, so grab whatever’s easiest and crash in the hotel. Really, it’s more fun than it sounds, because these are our favorite days.

    Very curious how other people do it!

    • Anonymous

      It depends hugely on the destination. We planned a trip to Alaska that was all nature stuff, I think we went hiking just about every day. When we go to a major European city we do a lot of eating and walking and a little museum-ing.

      I agree with you that I don’t go to a place unless I feel like I have enough money to do it “right.” We spent kind of an insane amount of money in Alaska, because I wanted to do flight-seeing, glacier trekking and bear watching and all this other stuff that really added up. In Europe we don’t tend to spend much money because the things we want to do aren’t that expensive. We are budget travelers in some ways (don’t care about fancy hotels, are fine with taking public transit) but I want to make sure I can throw money at any activity I want to do and I’d rather save for a trip for a couple years versus going earlier but not doing it the way I really want to.

    • C2

      It really depends on what the destination is. I like to have at least a loose itinerary, and I print at least one copy out, but sometimes it’s just big blocks of time with a couple ideas of what to do, where to eat, shops to visit, or a vague “wander _____”, and always listing hotel names, addresses and contact info included in case a phone dies or something. I’m nearly always willing to change that plan if we stumble across something great – unless we’ve paid for tickets or a big tour in advance, or have a hard-to-get dinner reservation. Sometimes I’ll schedule pieces of a trip to make sure I can make it to sights during their opening days and hours, especially abroad. Any tickets or tours scheduled and paid for ahead, I make sure to factor in possible delays in traffic or transit and set a firm “leave by” time, and also figure out a plan for eating/picnicking. When I’m planning or reading a guidebook, I’ll go in and star places I’m interested in seeing on Google Maps and then see what’s geographically close to each other and how a day might flow. When I’m going somewhere like Napa/Sonoma, I’ll do all the reservations and a full blown daily itinerary far in advance.

    • Panda Bear

      Interesting! I’m the same in that I want to maximize my time, but I’m also wary of overbooking myself, resulting in tired feet and general crankiness.

      I usually build my schedule by matrixing my must-do’s with the weather, visiting hours, and down time. For example, I might make sure to visit the aquarium on day X because it’s going to rain; schedule a visit to the art museum on evening Y because it’s open late that night; and then plan for a slow-paced brunch the morning of day Z.

      • Isabella

        Yeah, I didn’t think to mention the fact that the days are often interchangeable, depending on weather. That’s one of the reasons we do both. Thanks for mentioning it!

    • Elegant Giraffe

      We are DINKs, for reference. We normally wake up pretty early even on vacation but take our time getting ready and eat breakfast at “home.” Then one big morning activity, followed by lunch/reading, then either one big activity in the late afternoon/evening or a couple of smaller activities. We don’t organize days by outside vs inside – I guess we organize days geographically. We usually have 1 – 2 “must dos” per person per trip and let the rest of the time fill itself from there. We might not see everything but we are happy and rested!

      • Anonymous

        this is our rhythm, too. Most destinations set the tone, by being a metropolis with tons of museums/sights, or remote beach/country destinations where attractions only take a short time but there is lots of time for board games, hanging out with the family, or destinations like New Zealand where you want to be outside nonstop because nature is why you go there.

    • Anonymous

      Since we have three kids with a pretty large age span (7, 9, and 17) it is a balancing act finding things for everyone. I always ask each kid what is one thing you really want to do and we make sure to do that (within reason of course. But they have never asked for anything that was not doable.) Then we do a mix of days spent exploring, and days spent relaxing. We also mix up meals out with something like a picnic with sandwich stuff from the grocery store. My older two are also much more into museums (especially my 9 year old) and my youngest just causes havoc, so she and my husband usually come for a little bit and then he takes her to walk around or play at a park. This used to really upset because I wanted her to enjoy it and maybe she will as she gets older (though my older two have always been fine to go to museums since they were little.) But now we just split up occasionally.

    • Anon

      My previous comment didn’t post..so going again.

      Majority of trips with my husband is nature focused. So we spend a lot of time outdoors. Husband is into photography, so some planning goes into that (and time of the day matters). I book hotels right outside or sometimes inside the national park/protected area. I plan only for the first day as we don’t have the feel for the place and have to start somewhere. For following days, we just plan the day before. This way, we can be flexible and just enjoy whatever we like at that moment.

      Generally, we leave very early in the morning to be on the hiking trail/wildlife viewing areas/some place where my husband want to photograph right before sunrise. Then we do a couple of morning activities (mostly hikes, sometimes boat rides, some educational tour etc). We are generally done by 1:00 and we have lunch and be back to our hotel by 2 PM. Shower, nap, rest, get a coffee and head back to the park by 5 PM. We do activities that are not strenuous, very easy hikes/walks or just go to some place for wild life and just wait for what shows up, go to some place where we can get good pictures (due to setting sun), or just go to some place and sit watching the mountains etc. We leave by 8 or 9 (depending on sunset), have dinner, get back to the hotel, look at the pictures, have a rough plan for next day (we may decide we have to go back to same place again).

      When I go to cities (usually with my mother, it is a day full of visiting historical places, museums, eat whatever we can get because we generally overspend time in the museums. Then get back to the hotel by 6 or 7 P M. Freshen up a bit, go to some good restaurant for dinner and sleep. Do the same thing for the rest of the days.

      I cannot wait for my next trip :-)

      • Elegant Giraffe

        Yeah this thread is making me excited about my next trip…which is really bad because I literally got off the plane from my last trip four hours ago!

  10. Baconpancakes

    If you were planning an activity-focused Hawaii vacation (leaving from the East Coast of the US), how long would you say is a reasonable length of trip? I’m aiming for a 10 day trip, but could possibly go for 14 days. Is it worth it to go to multiple islands, or would you stick to the Big Island?

    • Anonymous

      I do the trip on a fairly regular basis from the NE. I find 12 days works best. There is lots to see on most of the islands. I think whether you want to focus on 1 or 2, or do the grand tour, really depends on whether or not this will be your one and only visit to HI. If you really want to see several islands in depth, it will take more than one trip.

    • Anonymous

      10-14 days is great if you have it (and I’d do two islands in that time frame) but you can see one Hawaiian island in a week. I’ve gone there a bunch and have never gone for more than a week at a time. There’s a lot to do, but the islands are small and you can get around easily. Big Island is my fave though, so I definitely recommend that one!

    • MJ

      Most people like Maui and Oahu better than the Big Island. I think you could easily do 2-3 islands in a 10 or 14 day trip. There’s a specific guide that a lot of people like for Hawaii. The hive will chime in. Sunset magazine also has some amazing articles, so google that. The search function on their own website is terrible, but Goog will pull up their fantastic articles. They did one on best food of Hawaii recently (in the last 2 years or so).

      • Anonymous

        “Most people like Maui and Oahu better than the Big Island.” What? Maui and Kauai are very popular, but everyone I know agrees Oahu is the worst of the four major islands. It’s the easiest to reach though.

        • MJ

          I believe you have not spent much time away from Waikiki on Oahu. The North Shore and interior are stunning. Waikiki has its gems too (Duke’s mud pie, Ala Moana…there’s some good stuff.)

          • Anonymous

            I’ve spent significant time on all 4. I’d rank them Big, Kauai, Maui, Oahu. I’m a snorkeler and the Big Island has the best snorkeling. Kona is my happy place and the volcano is really cool too, especially when it’s erupting. Kauai is beautiful and has great hiking. Maui has great restaurants and good snorkeling but is too touristy for me. Oahu is very boring – I despise Waikiki and the north shore beaches are nice but nothing the other three islands don’t have. There are Duke’s restaurants on Maui and Kauai too, fwiw.

      • Anonymous

        Big island is a sh*t hole. Except for the volcano which is interesting for about 3 hours.

      • BigLaw Sr Assoc

        “Most people like Maui and Oahu better than the Big Island.”

        Huh? I guess I am not “most people.” Big Island and Kauai are my favorites, Big Island probably slightly edgy out Kauai due to weather. Oahu is by far my least favorite.

        • NYCer

          Same here. Go to the Big Island!!! You will love it.

          Also, as to your original question, I think 10 days is probably enough. I would personally split them between the Big Island and Kauai, though you can’t go wrong staying on the Big Island the entire time.

    • Leatty

      Definitely do multiple islands. We went for 9 days a couple years ago and LOVED it. We visited Oahu for a few days and the Big Island (Hilo and Kailua Kona) for the rest of the time. Oahu was great for some of the tourist attractions (Pearl Harbor; Diamond Head hiking), but I loved the pace of the Big Island. There was plenty to do on both islands, and I wish our trip would have been a little longer so we could have seen the North Shore and done some hiking on the Big Island. Next time we go, I’d like to visit Maui and Kauai.

    • Mrs. Jones

      If you have 10-14 days, definitely go to more than one island, 2 maybe 3. If it’s your first trip to HI, I’d go to Oahu and Maui. And eat at Mama’s Fish House on Maui.

    • TCFKAG

      We did the Big Island and Maui for our vacation and I have to say, if you like outdoor-sy type things, you’ll like the Big Island much, much better. We found generally that Maui was more of the resort and restaurant kind of place (though the Road to Hana is beautiful).

      I think ten days is doable (that’s how long we had) but we really wish we had had 14 days or else only done one island.

      If I was going back, I’d do the Big Island and Kauai and skip Maui, but that’s just my own preference. If you are going to the Big Island and looking for a somewhat different place to stay, you should check out Puakea Ranch, we rented one of the smaller bungalows there and it was aMAYzing.

    • Ouch! That hurts

      If you take time on Oahu, consider Tour of Duty if you want a great experience of Pearl Harbor day etc.

      On the Big Island, there’s a great nighttime tour up to the observatory areas on Mauna Kea. Higher up than Mount Everest! All sky and more stars than you can imagine. Mauna Kea tours loans you parkas and telescopes, etc. You cannot go inside the observatories, but watching them all open up is an amazing site.

      Blue Hawaii heli tours over the volcano are amazing, but maybe it’s not time yet?

  11. Medical costs without insurance

    I need a reality check and some advice.

    My dad who lives abroad was diagnosed with an advance form of liver and stomach cancer. We don’t know the details and what stage yet, and he has a specialist appt for next week. He has insurance for his country and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t cover the US (even though he travels here to visit me a lot).

    I live in a PNW city that has world-renowed cancer care facilities (yes I’m outing myself). If I bring him here for his treatment, how much out of pocket costs am I looking at? I know this all depends on whether he needs surgery, how many/what kind, chemo, radiation (I went through a similar ordeal with my mom and b-cancer 10 years ago), and ongoing supervision…but are we talking 5 figures, 6 figures…7?

    My parents live alone in their country of residence with a very small support system. I don’t want them to face this alone, so I’m looking at options. Thankfully, we have the means to bring them here and live with us if necessary, but I do want to get a sense of the attendant costs.

    Thank you. Any words of advice or encouragement through this very hard time appreciated.

    • Panda Bear

      No advice about the insurance/medical cost question, but wishing you and dad all the best. You are being a very kind and supportive child.

    • Anon

      High six figures for out of pocket non-negotiated bills. Can you claim your Dad as a dependent living with you (which he will be if he gets treatment here) and put him on your insurance? Even insurance on the open market would work better than out of pocket. Is there an option for him to get treatment in a country without such high medical costs. You’d still pay out of pocket, but would be in the five figures (Canada ex.).

    • Sarabeth

      Almost certainly 6 figures if he’s getting some combo of chemo/radiation/surgery. You should double check his insurance, it is sometimes possible to use foreign insurance, although it probably wouldn’t cover the full cost.

    • Anonymous

      Also don’t know about costs, but if you are part of a community of your background in the US, try reaching out to them to see if they know any MDs who could bring your dad here for reduced costs and/or navigate the costs and options. And yes, you are an awesome child.

    • Bewitched

      I think you are definitely talking 6 figures. Sadly, for a private pay patient, even a broken bone set in an ED can cost $10,000. Also, chemo drugs are very expensive (ditto for radiation). If there is a hospital stay in the mix (even brief) it could be $20K easy. In NY, hospitals are required to provide a health cost estimate to prospective patients-you could call and request this information even if he’s not likely to have treatment in NY. Another option might be fair health consumer . org which seems to have good information estimating costs. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

    • Anon

      So sorry to hear about your dad.

      7 figures is not out of the question. 20 years ago my sister fought cancer for about 18 months – chemo, radiation, surgery, hospital care, specialists, medications, and eventually palliative / end of life care. Our insurance had a $1million lifetime cap. During the Obamacare debates a few years back I remember discussing with my parents the fear and helplessness that they felt as she approached that lifetime cap, and the likeliness that (if she had survived) she would never be able to purchase insurance again. Sh*t’s expensive.

    • Anonymous

      To be morbid, it really depends on how long he lives. Chemo and other cancer drugs can easily be $20k per month and hospice can be in that range too. So if you’re looking at a year or less, it’s not going to be 7 figures. But low-mid 6 figures is very possible. Sorry you’re going through this.

    • Anonymous

      My mom had cancer and had chemo and a bone marrow transplant. She stayed 6 weeks in the hospital and then had follow up care for 4 months (well ongoing of course now back at home but not weekly or more frequent like right after. We had to move her to be near the Mayo Clinic.) The cost before insurance was over $300,000. As another point of reference my child broke a bone and had surgery and the cost before insurance for the ER visit was over $6,000 and the surgery was over $10,000 and that was a pretty routine procedure.

    • Anonymous

      There’s such a huge potential range here, but I can’t imagine it would be less than low-mid 6 figures. Like someone above points out, it depends hugely on how long he lives, and what treatments are worth electing. And it’s basically impossible to estimate – oncologists are frequently quite cagey about timelines as they don’t actually know (we got “not days, not years” about two months before my mom died of melanoma – and she wasn’t on hospice, they were still discussing treatment options a week before she died, she just went into sepsis that no one seemed to anticipate).

      Anecdotally, I know someone who was treated for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma about ten years ago – healthy, then 22 year old dude – total treatments for what is probably the most survivable cancer you can get were about $1 million. Immunotherapy is a huge thing now for advanced cancers and is hugely expensive – I think what my mom got was like $30k each infusion (she was at MSK). Gene studies and targeted treatments (i.e. the reason to go to a place like MSK or that place in the PNW, heh) are also $$$.

      So like everything else with the ol’ cancer journey, hope for the best (low six), prepare for the worst (seven). Good luck to you and your father.

    • RNMP

      I’m sorry you’re father is going through this. It’s hard to deal with loved ones illnesses at a distance. The best first step would be to complete all of his staging (scans, notes, pathology report) and come to get a second opinion. A visit at my large academic center on the West Coast runs around $900 plus an additional few hundred dollars to review the pathology. In terms of treatments there’s a wide range, from $5-6K to $15-20K every-other weeks. Follow up scans can vary widely from facilities anywhere from $5-15K. Follow up visits are a few hundreds along with few hundres for labs. Radiation can easily excedd $100K and so can surgery. Also to consider is the cost of medication to palliate symptoms and other interventions such as nutritional support, skilled nursing and whatnot depending on exactly what kind of cancer and his prognosis. There’s obviously a lot of other considerations but I’ll stick to prices since that’s what you asked for.

    • Until yesterday I had a tumor

      Going through a carcinoid tumor of the lung right now. Had surgery yesterday, so no idea the amount that will bill for that. Up to yesterday with 4 doctor appointment, X-ray, cat scan, pet scan and biopsy, the total billed by providers is right at 60k. After being run through insurance it’s not so bad as that total. By the time they add surgery and follow up stuff, I’d expect the amount to be billed by providers to be around 150k to 200k. That is without chemo or radiation treatment. .

      • Ouch! That hurts

        So sorry you are going through this. Hoping it’s going to be smooth for your recovery. Internet anonymous hugs… I really appreciated the care and attention in the thoracic department when I was being evaluated a few years back. Hang in there, keep us posted. Hugs again

    • Blueberries

      Two ideas to help you figure out a plan once you have the staging and other initial information:
      1) See if the medical centers near you offer a remote/file-based second opinion program. Johns Hopkins has a program where they bring together radiation oncologists, surgeons, medical oncologists to discuss patients’ files and give a second opinion on a recommended course of treatment.
      2) Get in touch with the international patient office of your local medical centers (many world-class medical centers have these to coordinate care/bring in private pay international patients). Maybe they have some way of giving a quote for a plan of treatment since it’s pretty routine for international private pay patients to go to these types of medical centers.

      I managed terminal cancer care for a parent from far away—it’s hard, but doable. In some ways, it was better to have professionals on the ground far away doing the hands-on care to help preserve my parent’s dignity (not that there’s not dignity in having an adult child perform this care, but rather that my parent would have hated that and seen it as losing dignity).

  12. Anon

    I think us mere mortals can easily stick to muted color velvet blazers for winter. I have velvet pants (granted on the cheaper end) that are impossible to properly clean or get unwrinkled.

  13. AnonInHouse

    Headed to Christmas in New York with my early elementary age daughters (2 kids). What is a “must do” for Christmas in Manhattan?? We are already booked to see the Rockettes and the Lion King (not Christmasy, but they will love it!). What else?!

    • Anon

      Ice skating at the Wollman Rink or Rock Center or Bryant Park are all pretty awesome. Window shopping at the major department stores (magical). Check out Time Out New York–they will have a “with kids” section, and also New York Magazine too.

    • Anonymous

      Ice skating — Bryant Park or Rockefeller Center
      (for me, this must be followed by hot roasted chestnuts from a street vendor)

    • Anon in NYC

      Rockefeller Center with the tree and ice skating. Also Top of the Rock.
      Central Park has the Wollman ice skating rink as well.
      5th Avenue window displays
      Maybe a Christmas market (Bryant Park, Union Square) for souvenirs / gifts
      Maybe Rolf’s (a German restaurant that’s basically a winter wonderland)

      Depending on how long you’re there for, you might want to venture to Dyker Heights in Brooklyn to see all of the Christmas lights. It’s better at night, obviously, so that might be too late!

    • Anonymous

      blossoming hot chocolate at Dominique Ansel (the marshmallow is shaped like a flower and “blossoms” when you put it in the hot chocolate)

    • Ms B

      Late to answer, the Metropolitan Museum of Art is particularly splendid when it is decorated for the holidays.

  14. Cleaning services

    Posted yesterday, but in the wrong place. How much do you pay for a cleaning service? What or how much of your home gets cleaned?

    • Panda Bear

      I pay $150 for a monthly clean of my four-bedroom, 1.5 bath house. They sweep and/or vacuum all my floors and rugs, mop the floors, clean both bathrooms, wash all kitchen surfaces, and dust. Dusting is the one thing I wish they’d do a more thorough job with. I can’t completely blame them; my husband is a knick-knack addict and I do not expect the cleaners to pick up and dust off every single one of his 10 million trinkets.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc

      $120 for a monthly clean of 3 bedroom 3 bath condo. Deep clean kitchen/bathrooms, vacuum/mop floors, change linens, dust, wipe down surfaces that need it, and a reasonable number of other “out of the ordinary” requests like wiping down a few walls or sweeping the balconies. We are in LA.

    • Anonymous

      D.C. suburbs. $120 every other week – 1500 sq ft/3 beds/2 baths and $75/week when I was single and lived in a 900/2/1

      Dust everything, sweep and mop/vacuum floors, wash the two windows my dog always puts his noseprints on, clean kitchens and baths top to bottom. No inside of appliances, windows. They probably sort of do baseboards.

    • Anon

      Midwest suburb – $160 for a 5 bedroom, 5 bath house. No finished basement. She cleans the bathroom, vacuums, mops all the floors, etc.

    • Clementine

      $110/month for monthly cleaning. This includes dusting and mopping the living room/dining room, all the bathrooms, and cleaning the kitchen. She also vacuums the bedrooms (although this isn’t on the ‘def do this’ list) and just generally makes my house magically clean.

      Sometimes when we get busy we go to biweekly cleaning. Then she also makes all the beds with fresh sheets and adds a ‘random’ item each time she comes – like wiping down baseboards, washing all the cabinets, etc.

    • Anonymous

      I pay $100 every other week for a 2 bedroom 2.5 bath condo. Similar cleaning as Panda Bear as far as what gets done. FWIW we looked around and chose the lowest price option in my HCOL city, so I consider this on the low end.

    • BB

      $200 a month (includes tip) to clean a 1-bedroom condo. They do a pretty deep clean of both bathrooms, so they end up looking like luxury hotel level clean. Do everything in the kitchen, including stove cleaning and sometimes inside the fridge. Vacuum everything.

    • NY CPA

      $140 every other week. 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment. Vacuum all the floors. Change sheets. Clean bathroom and kitchen surfaces, and mop those two rooms. Load, run, and unload dishwasher. Generally tidy all the *stuff* sitting around, and dust cabinets and other surfaces. Does laundry for 1 person, folds, and puts away.

    • Anon

      $150 every other week for a 4 bedroom 2 bath. They do a hell of a job cleaning kitchen and bathrooms. The rest of the house is dust, vacuum, etc. They do wash the bathroom rugs and change the sheets.

      We tip well. We know that is a good deal. Bay Area.

  15. Pep

    The only woman who can wear this suit to work is Santa’s 30 year-old daughter.

    • pugsnbourbon

      This suit will 100% make an appearance in a Hallmark Christmas movie this year …

    • Anonymous

      I’m interested in this scenario. I don’t like the idea of Claus-affiliated attorneys. Is she in merchandising or PR for the North Pole family business?

      • Ms B

        Finance, but she wants to get taken seriously so that she can run the business when the old man retires to Florida. On her quest to get the corner sleigh, she has to fend off the schemes of a nephew in the operations department who tries to blame cost overruns and defects on hoverboards on poor forecasting and purchasing from her department. Wacky consequences ensue, including a meet-cute with Chris Pine as the head reindeer trainer, who decides to chuck reindeer training and become a SAH Claus for love.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Does anyone watch Grace and Frankie? Bree would fully rock this suit!

      • Cookbooks

        Love Grace and Frankie! And you’re right. Brianna would totally be able to pull off this suit.

    • Anon

      I think one of the real housewives could pull this off for a Very Special Holiday Episode of throwing Chardonnay in each other’s faces.

  16. Lit Boutique

    Anyone work at a boutique law firm willing to share your experiences? Bonus if you came from biglaw.

    I am considering this switch as a pretty senior biglaw associate, and am truly excited about it, but moving out of the comfort zone of my biglaw firm to a firm with less than 10 attorneys is hard. Anything in particular I should ask the owner beyond the obvious?

    If it matters, my main reason for the move is the hierarchy of biglaw is driving me bonkers, not necessarily the hours. Others reasons are higher base pay, lower *billable* target, shorter commute, and the sense I get that I would be more involved (i.e., involved at all) in running the business/business development.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a mid/senior associate at a boutique in a big East Coast city. Didn’t come from big law though, but most of my colleagues did. Feel free to email me crossedpaws10 at the G mail

  17. BB

    $200 a month (includes tip) to clean a 1-bedroom condo. They do a pretty deep clean of both bathrooms, so they end up looking like luxury hotel level clean. Do everything in the kitchen, including stove cleaning and sometimes inside the fridge. Vacuum everything.

  18. When to stop helping a homeless friend?

    Hoping for advice on a tricky situation.

    I have a hobby that has resulted in a diverse friend network. One of those friends is a mid-20s young man (YM). In July, YM asked if he could stay with me for a few nights to ‘get back on his feet’ after a weeks-long hospital stay in another city. He had stayed with me before, so I said yes.

    Unknown to him, I had just purchased a vacation home that is one hour away via public transport. After 2 nights of him staying with me, I offered YM use of the cabin. It is in rough shape and requiring a total reno. I have paused my plans somewhat so he can have time there. I have given him some money to supplement food stamps. Now it is almost September and YM asks if he can stay through 2018, in order to accept a job offer nearby.

    I don’t know what to say for a number of reasons. Every time I visit I find trash outside/in the kitchen/in his bedroom. Multiple open food containers, etc. While this place is no palace I am worried about rodents in the biggest asset I own. Also, YM suffers from manic depression and I worry about him being alone/not near friends. Just last week he texted me about possibly not being home when I arrived so he could “check himself into a hospital” (again). But that moment passed. YM is quite large but has never harmed others, only self-harm.

    If I ask him to leave, he has no money. Either I am throwing him on the street or I must invite him into my own home which I am not super keen to do for weeks or months at a time given his lack of hygiene. I have gently asked him to take better care of my residence and he is always SO sorry, promises to do better, etc. He talks about staying long-term at my cabin and being my “boots on the ground” supervising the renovation. To which I say “how can you supervise my renovation when you can’t supervise yourself in basic trash management.”

    I really want to be kind. But YM is not very stable right now and I worry that my compassion has me in over my head.

    • Anon

      You have gone above and beyond for this person who is not family to you. I would give him notice to leave as of a specific date and be firm about it. And i don’t mean next year. Give him 30 days notice if you think you need to but you need to get him out of there before he gains tenant rights.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      You have dug yourself a hole (by being extremely – exceedingly – kind and generous). Give him a deadline to vacate. Expect that you will lose the friendship and be pleasantly surprised if you don’t. You cannot wait out this situation.

    • Anonymous

      Your compassion has turned into enabling. He has no reason to get the help that he needs since you’re providing him a free place to live, food, and everything else he needs to get by without actually fixing any of the underlying problems. Give him seven days, although I think that’s generous, and then change the locks.

    • ER

      I think you already answered your own question. The answer is today – the next question is how to go about it.

    • ...

      Agreed… you have been more than generous and he’s seeming to do nothing to get on his feet again. If you need to, invite a close friend to stay in the cabin 30 days from now, then give YM notice that he needs to be out by 30 days from now, someone will be coming. If you decide to (or if your friend is close enough to figure this out without you saying it), the friend staying doesn’t actually have to happen, but it’ll hold your strong line and it lets him know he can’t push the deadline or lie about having left. I would go there 25 days from now, talk through any damages or mess so he has 5 days to clean it, then on day 31, go change the locks.

      It’s not being a jerk when you’ve given him thousands of dollars worth of free rent, utilities, food, etc. If he’s someone who tries to make you feel bad, he is absolutely not someone who cares about you and that’s even more reason it’s time for him to go.

      If you need to, feel free to tell him I’m going and then just imagine me to be a giant 7 ft tall ogre who you don’t want to make angry by not having him out by the time I arrive, thus forcing the deadline to stick! :)

      • Confused by the advice above

        I mean…he is interviewing for jobs. He has secured a job offer. He has applied for food stamps. He has applied for health insurance. How is this doing nothing?

        I thought the ladies on this board were more progressive in helping those who need help.

        • Elegant Giraffe

          My opinion (based on limited knowledge) is that you are helping him only a small bit but at great risk to yourself. Imagine your dear friend was in your shoes – what would you concerns be? What advice would you give her?

        • Anonymous

          He is a freeloader. Please learn to distinguish between him and others who genuinely need help.

    • Anon

      Check your state’s squatters rights… he may become a permanent resident and you’ll be unable to get him out without legal action.

  19. Anon

    I asked this morning but it was embedded in someone else’s thread so not surprisingly I didn’t get any responses.

    How do you wear shift dresses with no shaping? The plus size alternative to this morning’s pick is an Eileen Fisher shift in a pretty pink color of silk. But no shaping. I bought a similar EF dress at the outlet, but with short sleeves, and I have not figured out how to wear it. I know the automatic suggestion is to belt it but I’m “squishy” in the middle any kind of belt that emphasizes my waist, which is definitely narrower than my hips and bust, is going to produce a roll above the belt that is probably worse than just looking large all over. I’m a size 1x and tall, if that helps.

    Styling suggestions welcome!

    • Anonymous

      Well…if you want a dress with shaping, you generally have to choose a different cut. In other words, you don’t buy a shift dress at all, because by definition, it doesn’t have shaping. Solutions for the dress you already have:

      * belt it, which you don’t want to do.
      * alter it by having someone shape the side seams so they curve in slightly.
      * alter it by having someone add vertical darts in the front and back, which will pull in the shape slightly. (This might not work, if the cut of the dress doesn’t have the fabric in the right place to allow you to do this. A tailor can give you advice.
      * wear a long necklace or a long scarf to create a vertical V, giving the illusion of “shape.”
      * wear a topper (cardigan or waist-length jacket or blazer) that hits at the waist or is cut with shape, against giving the illusion of shape.
      * wear a long duster over it, to create vertical lines.

      But generally, if structure and shape is important to you, stay away from shift dresses and buy a dress with the structure and shape built in.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah – you don’t buy shift dresses then, because it’s not a style that suits you.

        Belting really isn’t a good answer either because the fabric is going to bunch up oddly. If you are worried about a roll, belt it looser and add fabric (or safety pin) belt guides at the side seams.

        But really, anything you do is going to make it not be a shift dress anymore.

    • Right there with you!

      I am a size 4 and I stay away from shift dresses too because they make me look like a tent. Especially with my weightlifter shoulders.

    • Anonymous

      I think you just have to have a shape for them. My mother wears them a lot and she is tall, has broad shoulders, and is apple shaped. They’re the best shape for her figure. I think you could probably get your dress tailored if you want it to emphasize your waist.

    • Ariadne

      Not sure if you are still reading, but you could add darts to the dress— usually called fish eye darts— this usually, though not always, make the dress more of an A-line shape. Shift dresses also look baggy and sacklike on me, but I did purchase one I like, and it works for me because it fits a bit tighter in the top, thus giving an overall leaner fit. It still is not as fitted as a sheath dress, and hangs straght, but it is not too baggy. Shift dresses with a v or scoop neck work a bit better on me for some reason. I’m quite busty and curvy— size 12 – 16 depending on the brand.

  20. Anonymous

    Today is the day every year that I regret most of my purchases from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, because most of it is in stock and just got discounted to a lower price than I paid a few weeks ago.

    One of these years I’ll learn.

  21. LittleRain

    I just returned to the work force after completing graduate school. Out of curiosity, how many pieces of workwear clothing do you ladies have? Across dresses, pants, skirts, tops, sweaters, etc. but not counting shoes. I just counted and it’s upwards of 100 for myself, which seems like a lot =/

    PS: I’m new to Corporette and this is my first comment! :)

    • Elegant Giraffe

      Hi! Morning comments will get lots more activity.

      I haven’t ever counted. I would guess 75-100 for work clothes only. 10 pairs pants, 5 skirts, 15 dresses, and far too many tops.

    • Anonymous

      4 pants, 3 dresses, 2 skirts, 4 jackets/sweaters/cardigans, probably 20 tops

    • Anonymous

      You’ll need to post this again tomorrow morning. Very few people will see this or respond to it at this hour of the evening.

    • BensonRabble

      Hi! Congrats on finishing grad school. You should post early againto get a reply.

      I personally have tons because I see the same group of people every summer and winter so I dont want to look the same not that anyone but me would notice hahah

    • Anonymous

      Hi, I start each season (we have two, Summer and Not Summer) with 10 jackets, 6 cardigans, 10 pairs of pants and 5 skirts or dresses. If I get below the count I don’t restock until the next year. I don’t keep a count on tops or shoes, just make notes when I am missing something specific I need to keep the rest in rotation and then fill in the gaps.

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