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Updated: May 21, 2023 288 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Kelsey Knit Trousers

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Which are your favorite knit trousers for work, ladies? I know there are a lot of votes in the Eileen Fisher crepe pants camp, but I'm curious to hear which other ones are in the running. These pants from Liverpool have really high ratings at Nordstrom and come in several colors, including black and Medieval blue, which looks darker than royal, but lighter than navy. They are a ponte knit and have a lot of stretch (but they are not pull-on pants), they have front and back pockets, and they're machine wash, tumble dry. The pants are only $89 (which is a nice change from the Eileen Fisher crepe pants), and they are selling out quickly in petites, although the black still has most regular and petite sizes still in stock. Update: Eileen Fisher's washable stretch crepe slim pant is now on a big sale at EileenFisher.com in three colors in three size ranges — and they're selling out quickly. Kelsey Knit Trousers

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Comments

  1. Ouch! That hurts

    I’ve ordered several Boden dresses in cranberry/burgundy colors. (There’s a 20% off sale starting today – on everything!) What’s the thought on modern color combinations? Most are solid color dresses and I need to select the right shoe/jackets for them. I know navy is great … My DH is color blind (medically) and sees black and burgundy as the SAME color so that’s a no-go). TIA! Happy shopping hive!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know about “modern.” But for me, navy would be too classic. I’d experiment with cognac, tan, ivory. I also love blush with burgundy. If you’re feeling bold, orange works. I love light /pale blue with burgundy.

      • Ariadne

        +1 love these suggestions, especially the pale blue kne. I love adding a pop of yellow and bright pink with burgundy and cranberry. A coniac or chocolate brown boot/shoe would work too.

    • Anonymous

      I saw someone yesterday in a mustard shirt with a burgundy cardigan. Looked really nice.

    • Anonanonanon

      I LOVE Boden. I am stopping myself from checking out the sale, because I just orderd 3 dresses from there last month and am currently eagerly awaiting the arrival of an exchange.

    • Anon

      I like burgundy with pink, beige, and gray. I have a burgundy dress and this is what I wear it with.

    • IHHtown

      I kind of see burgundy as a “base color” like olive, navy, black, and tan, so it can really go with anything, except for clashing colors, and even then, only if the clashing colors are a large part of the look (ex. fuschia or pumpkin orange done in too large a portion compared to the burgundy). I think that jewel tones don’t flatter burgundy very well, however.

      • Anonymous

        +1

        I wear burgundy as a neutral. It’s one of my favorite colors to wear. Currently wearing a burgundy pencil skirt with a dark grey t-shirt featuring a bright green print plus black loafers. I love wearing it with lots of shades of blue and grey.

  2. NovaSure?

    Has anyone here had the NovaSure procedure done? It is an endometrial ablation procedure. I’m mid-40’s, and I’ve been dealing with heavy bleeding that has landed me in the hospital for a blood transfusion. Treatment options including an IUD and various birth control pills have reduced the bleeding, but I still have some type of bleeding nearly every day and periods are extremely heavy. All testing (ultrasound, paps, hysteroscopy, etc) have come back normal so my OBGYN has recommended this procedure. I’ve read the ncbi information on the procedure, but I wanted to see if anyone here had been through this procedure. The other option is a hysterectomy, but my doctor prefers to keep that as a last resort if this procedure does not work.

    • Anonymous

      Not sure if it was the exact procedure, but I have friend who underwent an ablation after she was done having kids. She had great results and to my knowledge, has no regrets. She was done having kids and had her tubes tied so the reliable birth control issue was taken care of.

      • Smunchy

        I had an endometrial ablation in 2012 due to heavy bleeding. I’d had an IUD inserted about two months prior but it was no help. I’m not sure if I had the NovaSure procedure. Mine was a balloon ablation and it worked! Doctor said it was about 70% effective and if it didn’t work, hysterectomy would be the next step.
        Fortunately, I’ve had no bleeding since. The pain after the procedure was intense but that was mostly due to a delay in getting paid meds. I took the next day off work but could have gone to work if I needed to. All in all, I’d do it again in a heart beat. Good luck!

    • anon

      I did, back in 2011. DO IT. Didn’t completely eliminate all monthly flow, but like 90%…really helped with my anemia!!

    • Anonymous

      Ask about tranexamic acid/Lysteda if you are still open to looking at a range of options. It’s OTC in other countries but Rx here. It helps.

  3. anon

    I haven’t tried these specific pants, but I have two pairs of Liverpool jeggings and I LOVE THEM. They are so comfortable and keep their shape, even after multiple washings. I don’t even want to wear normal jeans anymore. If their work pants are even half as good as the jeggings, I need to check them out.

  4. KonMari Addict

    How do you know when it’s time to let go of a hobby and the attendant accessories? I used to be an avid cross stitcher but haven’t done it in years. Same for sewing. I minimized my stash 3 years ago, but haven’t really touched it since. But I remember how much joy it used to bring me and think maybe I’ll get back into it again? I could use the space it takes up (I’m in a small apartment).

    Any wise words?

    • Anonymous

      If it were me, I’d get rid of all the cross-stitch stuff, all the fabric, and severely cull down my sewing tools. I’d keep my sewing machine and basics like my good scissors. My machine runs well and even though I don’t sew much anymore, I pull it out to alter /tailor clothes.

      • KonMari Addict

        How much thread did you keep and how did you decide on the colors?

        • Sewing industry person

          Hey there – I work for a sewing machine company/thread distributor.

          Thread starts to break down after a few years, or at least becomes becomes more brittle. Old sewing machine thread won’t run as well in your machine. You could donate what you have now and buy new if you start a new project down the line.

        • Anonymous

          Keep in mind that thread can rot more quickly than you would think. I would keep the basics (white, black, navy, etc) but let go of any colors you don’t think you will use. Check your thread before putting it in the machine. If you can easily break a piece with two hands it’s time to buy new.

        • KonMari Addict

          Thank you both! Any ideas where I can donate thread? Mine is 5+ years old.

    • Anonymous

      Is there anything unique, expensive, or otherwise very difficult to replace in your stash? I got really into making my own stationery at one point but I haven’t done it for more than 2 years. I plan to keep my Cricut, at least as long as the software still supports it, but I’m getting rid of everything else.

      • KonMari Addict

        Yes – I have a large half finished project in hand dyed silks that I would definitely hold on to.

    • anon

      Do you have a friend you could pass your stash to? That might make it feel less like you’re saying goodbye/abandoning it/cutting the cord/wasting your materials. (That would be my psychological hold up..)

      • Is it Friday yet?

        That’s not technically the Kon Mari Way… you’re supposed to throw out or donate everything. ;)

        • IHHtown

          That is a form of donation. Kon Mari doesn’t require trashing everything or donating to the public. Donating to a friend is fine.

        • anon

          Yeah, this? It’s not a burden if someone else wants it or can use it. A burden is keeping it in my parent’s attic because you have a sentimental attachment to it but can’t let it go. Also, didn’t realize that OP was such an acolyte that adherence to these technicalities should override all other considerations…?

        • Anonymous

          I’m not sure I realized this about Kon Mari (not a practitioner) – you’re supposed to declutter yourself by adding clutter to landfills for things that otherwise might have a home? That’s insane to me. Another reason not to like this process.

          • Anonymous

            An alternative to KonMari would be “The Gentle Swedish Art of Death Cleaning”, which is a lovely, and truly not morbid, book about gradually passing on heirlooms while you can still see people’s enjoyment of them, etc. You might prefer it.

          • Not accurate

            I disagree with the comments above. The whole philosophy of it is that in many ways that items “feel” and for that reason you don’t want them to feel squished in somewhere or forgotten. You thank them for what they added to your life and you set them free.

            It never says to throw everything away. If you can extend the life of the items and give them a “good life,” then you’re doing it right. While the items should spark joy in you, you also acknowledge that the items deserve better.

            It’s kooky, but it absolutely works for sentimental pieces.

          • KonMari Addict

            I agree with “not accurate” – in the context of the whole book, “throw away” does not necessarily mean “send to landfill.” I think perhaps the translator should have picked a different word to avoid conveying that impression, which seems to proliferate in the anti-KonMari articles around the internet, the majority of which are written by people who have not read the book.

      • KonMari Addict

        If I had such a friend I would have passed it on in a heartbeat! Sadly all my crafty friends have declined the offer as they also have more stash than time/inclination.

        And yes I agree it’s not technically the KonMari way – because you are not supposed to burden other people with your clutter – but I’ve eBayed quite a bit of stuff during my KonMari journey (mostly an esoteric collection I had, and handbags), on the theory that if people are willing to pay money for it they must want it. Then donated anything that didn’t sell.

        • Anonymous

          I agree that selling (even if it’s significantly under market) can help get past people’s tendency to take things if they’re free.

    • Anonymous

      IDK I have moved my xstitching stuff about 5 times and used it sporadically. I find that I use the thread when sewing buttons back on b/c I can always find a match.

      But if someone took my stuff, I honestly wouldn’t replace any of it, so it’s probably time (for me).

      Maybe if you don’t use it the next nasty-weather day to do while on a NetFlix bender, it’s time?

    • Crocheter

      Don’t give up hope that you might get back into it! I took several years off from my crochet habit (read: law school + the amount of time I spent in BigLaw before moving to the government) and am now happily crocheting up a storm again.

      That said… you can always buy new stuff if you do get back into it and, in fact, a fresh start with new materials might be motivating anyway. Also, the types of projects I’ve undertaken since I picked up crochet again are somewhat different than those I did before (for example, I’m currently into amiguri stuffed animals rather than the kind of large afghans I used to make). So, maybe let go of the materials but don’t look at it as the total end of a hobby you enjoy!

    • Scarlett

      I ordered and returned a pair of clogs because the buckle was all messed up. Could have just been that shoe, but it wasn’t comfortable and didn’t make me want more. That’s basically my whole view on Boden though, I want to like it p, I like their ads, but I’m often disappointed in the actual product.

    • Anon

      Love Boden clothes. I’ve only ever ordered one pair of shoes because they were very narrow and didn’t fit me, but they seemed decent quality.

    • Anonymous

      I bought a pair that was super cute but squeaked worse than any pair of shoes EVER. That said, they did take them back with a full refund even though they were worn.

    • TCFKAG

      I have a pair of high heeled leather oxford-style shoes from them that I bought over five years ago that I wear semi-regularly and they’ve held up really well and are super cute and nice quality. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they are the kind of brand where some of their shoes are great while others aren’t, since shoes are clearly not their focus (I feel the same way about Brooks Brothers shoes as well as a few other brands).

    • Seafinch

      I love them. Have numerous pairs and looking today for more because of the sale. Quality is on par with price, no better no worse.

    • tippins

      I just received a pair that I will return because they’re too small. I consistently wear a U.S. 7.5 and the 38 was too tight in the toe box (pointy toed loafer).

    • heatherskib

      I have a pair of snow leopard flats that are a couple years old. they still wear really well and have held up fantastically. Having said that- I agree that they’re a mixed bag. I’ve tried a couple other pairs, and well it hasn’t been true love.

    • Nudibranch

      I have a pair of sandals that are still going strong 3-4 years in and receive frequent compliments. I bought them at sale price and found them good value for that. They are leather so worth paying more than I would normally for sandals.

      (I don’t know if I’d have paid full price for them though.)

  6. Anna

    I miss my work friends, how to deal?
    I have been in the same company for a long time. I love the work, which is challenging and rewording, if stressful at times. I have been promoted in the last year and want to stay here.

    I used to work with a close group. We have experienced a lot together. We supported each other. The company has gone through big changes in my time. It went from a toxic workplace to a much better one. I the toxic times we grew close. I liked them I respected them even when we disagreed. I felt safe with them.
    Now they are gone. Some retired, others went to work at another company. It is not that I dislike the new people but I do not trust them yet. I have to be careful not to say “we used to” all the time.
    I feel sad and lonely at work

    • anon

      Give yourself permission to grieve those relationships and to acknowledge that your work relationships are in a huge transition period. I went through the same thing last year, and I was completely taken aback by how difficult and lonely it was. After a decade of working together, there was a good deal of sadness. It does get better, even if you don’t have the same type of camaraderie with your new colleagues as you did with the old. And, it can feel good to reach out and give a welcoming hand to the newbies. They’re probably as lonely as you are!

      • Anonymous

        Thank You very much for this. I feel a lot of solidarity in your comment! Also good point about the new people also being lonely. Thanks!!

      • Ariadne

        +100 I went through this last year when my closest colleague retired, and it was very difficult and lonely— she had confided that she would retire early, so I know what it was coming, and tried to mentally prepare, but it still left me in feeling emotional and sad when she finally left.

        We were always supportive of each other at work through very difficult and challenging life events. When my aunt passed away not long after my colleague retired, I felt really alone and I had no one immediately close to at work that I could share with. I had never had a close work friend before, so I knew our friendship was meaningful to have.

        It will take time to acclimatize, and new connections may begin tp percolate. As another poster mentioned, give yourself retime to mourn, and when you are ready, stay open to new possibilities, even if they may not yield the same type of camaraderie. The good news is that since her retirement, we have successfully met up once every month or six weeks, and stay in touch and connected.

        • Anna

          Thank You! I knew about the ones going into retirement, but is was a surprise with those that left. I had no idea that it would be so difficult. Good point about the new possibilities. I am trying to tell my self that the relationships can become good, even if different.

          Thanks again!

          • Ariadne

            Just to add…While I stayed open to growing new connections and friendships with colleagues, I needed to give myself lots of time to recalibrate and just take a walk, or spend more time alone at lunch. Not sure if this is your situation, but once I did this, it seemed I was more ‘missed’ by colleagues, and I felt better prepared to make the effort to interact with people.

    • Anon

      Also, you’re allowed to continue these friendships outside of the workplace, especially since you aren’t working together anymore. Is there something stopping you from grabbing the occasional coffee or lunch?

    • Anon

      Sorry for your losses. Same experience here. One thing that helped me was developing a new routine of getting outside at lunchtime for exercise, fresh air, and sunlight. That is, instead of my previous pattern of having lunch in the office with my work friends. I still miss the work friends, but I feel positive about the new routine being good for me in a different way.

  7. Grouch

    What do you do on mornings when you wake up and just don’t want to go to work? That’s me this morning and there’s no real reason for it (normal week at work, plenty of sleep, etc.), I’m just grumpy and draggy and want to go home.
    My initial thought is “this calls for fancy coffee” but I’m trying to cut back on the association I have with bad mood = consumable treat.

    • Anna

      Could you find some other stuff, non consumable, that would comfort you?
      Going to a park in your lunch break? Listen to your favorite music, while getting ready?
      Plan mini breaks?

      • pugsnbourbon

        I have been intensely grumpy due to … just the general state of the world. My solutions today are to look at adoptable pugs and re-watch Patton Oswalt’s Annihilation stand-up show.

    • Anonymous

      That’s every morning for me lately. Sigh.

      I take a lunch break away from my desk, and go home early if I can.

      • Sleepy

        Me too. Has nothing to do with sleepiness, though, just not wanting to get up.

    • Anon in D

      I do some gardening in the morning for about 20 minutes, before showering. It’s an active activity that wakes me up, and working with my hands, even if its watering and pulling some weeds for a bit, relaxes me.

    • iced coffee

      What about a healthy consumable treat? Sometimes I go to the fancy juice bar and get an $8 froo froo juice that I wouldn’t ordinarily buy to make myself feel better!

    • Anonymous

      I love turning on NPR’s Up First podcast. They’re normally 10-15 minutes and just the high points of the news that day.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc

      “What do you do on mornings when you wake up and just don’t want to go to work?”

      This is me every morning. If it is ongoing, maybe consider other career paths and begin actively exploring those options. That has helped make work more bearable for me.

      If this is a one off, that seems like within the normal realm of human emotions to have about work, even if you like your job. Not sure you can do much other than muddle through and try to do something small you enjoy to minimize the feelings. Even if my i-hate-work-everyday world, listening to a bit of music I like helps.

      • Grouch

        It’s a combination of what you said. My job isn’t ideal, but I’m pursuing some things that will allow me to get a job I’d prefer within the next few years (same industry, just working on a few qualifications to get to do more of the things I enjoy). I don’t hate my job, but I also don’t love it and sometimes just go through blah phases like this that ultimately remind me why it’s worth working my butt off to get a better position.

    • LittleRain

      Go to the gym and listen to pump up music! Morning workouts always get me motivated. Then there’s the question, how to get motivated to go to the gym? No matter how much I don’t want to go, I go, because I’ve never once gone to the gym and afterwards thought, “I regret that.” Never. It’s level 2 fun. Terrible before and maybe during. Rewarding after.

  8. Anonymous

    My boyfriend just suffered a disappointment that was largely his own doing (major procrastination made him do a sloppy job on something important).

    This tendency has caused him problems his whole life, sometimes major. Last time something big like this happened, I told him “I love you anyway,” which turned out not to be what he wanted…he felt like I was minimizing his experience.

    I would love tips on the best way to talk to him about this without minimizing his feelings or making him feel like an idiot (which he isn’t). I don’t feel like a did a great job responding last time.

    • Anonymous

      “i’m sorry, that sucks” I mean – what more does he want you to say about the experience? Has he said anything about the support that he wants from you when things like this happen? Because you aren’t a mind reader.

      Does he acknowledge his role in it? Does he just want to talk his feelings out and you just need to be a receptive audience? Does he want you to tell him it’s not his fault? The first two are good, the last is not.

      • Anonymous

        He does acknowledge his role and really harps on it afterward but is not sure how to change it. He didn’t say exactly what he wanted me to say instead, but said he felt like I was just kind of glossing over this huge problem in his life and implying it wasn’t that big a deal.

        He does want to talk his feelings out but I don’t know how to be the best partner in doing that. I don’t always know what to say in response when he’s doing that.

        • Anonymous

          He’s got to figure out what he needs and then express it to you. You guessing at it won’t help anything. Tell him you want to support him, but you can’t do that unless he tells you what he needs.

        • Anon

          It’s really not your job to make your partner better at this. He needs to come up with his own methods to deal with his procrastination problem, not depend on you to fix him.

        • Mpls

          It sounds like he wants you to chastise him over it, so he feels guilty enough to change. Which is a crap thing to ask a partner to do.

          You could say “I have noticed this as a pattern. What are you going to do to recognize when you are doing this pattern and take different action?”

          Because unless you are going to nag him into doing something, he’s the one who has to take internal action.

    • Anonymous

      Not to be the dump him base on a paragraph person, but based on this paragraph I’d worry less about saying the right thing and more about being with someone prone to screwing up regularly due to procrastination (or whatever else). That would make me crazy.

      • Anonanonanon

        OK I didn’t want to be the first person to say it, but yes, I married (and divorced) one of these and a tendency to procrastinate let things build until they explode can and will start to affect you.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks, though I’m not looking to do that. He’s actually a very accomplished person who’s done more in his life than a lot of people have, but who is held back in certain areas by this. It’s not that his whole life is a mess.

        • Anonymous

          Then he needs to go to therapy to figure out (a) how to overcome it because what he is doing isn’t working and (b) how to use his words to express what he needs from you in this situation.

    • Anonymous

      I mean, he is an idiot. He knows it. His stupidity caused him problems. He should feel bad and does feel bad. Let him. Respect his feelings.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your response, don’t tell yourself you didn’t do a good job. Did he tell you WHY your reaction made him feel that way? Did he tell you what he would have wanted to hear from you instead? If he has a problem with something you said then he needs to articulate that in a way that makes sense. It is not your job to manage someone else’s emotions.

      Tbh it sounds more like he was mad at himself and wanted someone else to be mad at and you were… there.

    • Anonymous

      You say that he’s had this tendency throughout his life, and it’s caused him real problems before, but he is not an idiot. And it sounds like he’s not happy with himself as he is. I’m curious whether he’s ever been evaluated for ADHD (or anxiety, or anything else that is strongly associated with a habit of procrastination). I think it’s okay to be happy with him as he is (I honestly believe that many admirable character traits have a “flip side” that doesn’t mesh well with expectations in our culture). But if he’s not happy, there are a lot of things he can do to work on this (things that aren’t resolutions or will power, but that involve seeking help and support from professionals).

      • Anonymous

        Thank you, this is a helpful way to think about it.

        He is an accomplished person but just held back in some areas, and he is not happy about it.

        • BigLaw Sr Assoc

          It sounds like a combination of “that sucks” and helping his address this problem is in order. That’s definitely what I’d want a partner. My husband and I “counsel” each other on job-related things all the time, but you have to be careful to not start with “here is everything you did wrong” rather than “that sucks.”

          • Anonymous

            It sounds like a combination of “that sucks” and helping his address this problem is in order. That’s definitely what I’d want a partner. My husband and I “counsel” each other on job-related things all the time, but you have to be careful to not start with “here is everything you did wrong” rather than “that sucks.”

      • Anonymous

        What would you suggest, besides the standby of therapy, which he did try once but didn’t get much out of? He is considering trying it again but would love to have other things to suggest.

        • Anonymous

          He should try again because what he is doing now isn’t working and it seems pretty clear he can’t figure out a system to stop procrastinating on his own. You can’t nor should you force him to do things on time. He needs to put in the hard work to figure it out and not get mad at you when you can’t read his mind to help support him.

          Lots of people procrastinate, but the people who want to stop doing it because it is adversely affecting their lives put in the hard work to do it.

        • Anonymous

          There are better and worse therapists (to say the least). If I were him, I would make sure I see someone who is known to work with/refer to whatever local specialist does full adult ADHD evaluations (the kind where they test you for hours and then write up all the details–not a ten-minute questionnaire). Even if that specialist is never needed, I would trust that therapist to distinguish an executive function issue from perfectionism/anxiety and be able to help with either (or both) as needed.

          Based on your description, I’m not sure I would want to start with understanding/feelings/do you think you are self-sabotaging because you are afraid of success/what’s your family like, and so on. (Though that’s totally available and can be helpful and relevant!) If I were high achieving and yet also failing in easily avoidable ways, I wouldn’t necessarily want to throw a wrench in what was working for me; I’d want to focus on shoring up that weakness without too much shame or hand wringing. I would want something more practical or goal oriented (almost along the lines of coaching)? Again, if this sounds wrong for the person you have in mind, you could reverse all this advice. Your post just rang an “executive function issues” bell for me, and when that’s an issue, therapy that assumes it’s not an issue can be really counterproductive.

          • Anonymous

            I guess by “easily avoidable” I was begging the question, but I hope that wall of text made some kind of sense. I really hope he’s able to make progress on this; if he’s made it this far despite this, I’d love to see what he could do without this recurring problem.

          • Anonymous

            Thanks very much. I think what you are saying does sound pretty accurate to the situation.

    • Anonymous

      It sounds like either you, or he, or both of you, (hard to tell, since you are the one posting here) are seeing this as a general problem, generic procrastination, that he has always had and always will have. In cognitive behavioural therapy, they would call that globalizing, I believe–seeing all of the behavior similarly, when the situations are actually quite different.
      If you are judging it that way, even unconsciously, that might be why he responds defensively even when you try to be sympathetic.
      If he’s seeing it that way, you might be able help him by gently encouraging him to drill down and ask questions of himself and see the differences between the “procrastination” and the situations where he is as accomplished as you say.

    • lalala

      My DH and I sometimes start out these convos with a quick (“I’m just venting” vs “I want help/advice”). We’re both problem-solvers, but sometimes when you want to vent it, an be disheartening when the other person starts trying to “fix” you. So maybe see if he can let you know what he’s looking for at the front end of a discussion.

    • Ellen

      You are saying nice things and he is NOT appreciative? What is his problem, and does he expect you to solve it for him? FOOEY on boyfriends like this one. He may be venting, but you should not be his punching bag. I had an issue like this with my ex, who failed miserably at almost everything he did, but I stuck with him and tried to provide him with succor. However, that was NOT good enough for him and he always did what he could to minimize my success and made me do stuff to glorify his ego. I got tired of that and consulted with my Dad, who told me to DFMFA. So I did so, and have NEVER regretted it, or looked back. I know that my next boyfriend will appreciate me for me, and not put me down like my Alan did. FOOEY on him!

  9. Daffodil

    I’ve had a busy month, and intentionally did not make any plans for the upcoming long weekend. Looking forward to sleeping in and spending some time in my local coffee shop with a new book. What do you all do with a free weekend when you’re looking to relax and recharge?

      • Anonymous

        +1 to this – something that takes a few hours to cook that I’d never otherwise make.

        Also, I treat myself to a leisurely breakfast out. Sometimes with a mimosa, sometimes not.

      • Grouchy

        Similar to this, I bake bread. I love making really complicated loaves that require multiple rises and lots of kneading, but I can never fit the timing into my schedule. So a long weekend to me means plenty of time to let dough rise as much as it needs and still having enough time to experiment a little and make it look pretty.

    • Anonymous

      Ooo I like this! My ideal long weekend would be:
      Friday afternoon/evening: Leave work early and go to the butcher, farmer’s market, and that cute wine store I never make it to. Cook an elaborate meal that I’ve never made before. Listen to music and sip wine while I cook. Eat the leftovers for the rest of the weekend. After that, bubble bath and a good book. Maybe also a sheet mask.
      Saturday morning: Sleep in. Make a fancy-to-me breakfast. Make coffee with my french press.
      Saturday afternoon: Walk in a state park or a local garden. Maybe find a yoga class. Go for a run if I feel up to it.
      Saturday night: Go to a movie. Eat leftovers for dinner. Sip a glass of wine on my deck.
      Sunday: Go to brunch. Walk around town, poke around in some little stores, get a cupcake and food for a picnic. Find something outside in the evening – concert or play in a park, or just hang out in a park and have a picnic.
      Monday: Chore day.

    • busybee

      I wake up early to take advantage of cooler temps for an outdoor run, then cook and clean. Sounds weird, but cleaning is relaxing to me and it’s satisfying to see a sparkly clean house. Running is something I only semi-enjoy while I’m doing it, but then I feel great afterward.
      I also enjoy cooking, plus if you cook in batches and can freeze some, it has the added benefit of providing ready-made meals you can turn to when life gets busy again.
      Add in an afternoon book with some tea and I’ve got myself the perfect weekend. As I read this, I realize how boring I am but oh well!

      • We might be the same person

        Your weekend sounds fabulous to me. :) Similarly, running has changed my life although I do not love it in the present tense.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t make any plans. That’s the whole point of a relaxing weekend! I sleep as much as I want and avoid talking to humans except Uber Eats delivery drivers.

    • cat socks

      I would spend a little time getting the house clean and tidy. Then I would sleep in and read a lot of books. I don’t like cooking so I would order out or just do something simple I can throw on the grill without getting the kitchen dirty.

    • Vicky Austin

      What a nice thing to think about! I want to grocery shop, tidy up, do yoga, cook, read, maybe write a letter to a friend or two if the mood strikes, and definitely plan and plot for a capsule wardrobe. I recently discovered the Vivienne Files from comments here and cannot stop playing with colors and pieces in my head.

    • Anonymous

      Friday–bike ride, then wine outside. Saturday–HIIT classes, yoga, pedicure, wax. more yoga or a bike ride. Sunday–HIIT class, organize closets, drawers, etc. then yoga or bike ride. Monday–bike ride or run outside, yoga. continue organizing, clean, get ready for the week. Bed with a book early on Monday night.

  10. Ariadne

    What style/ type of flat shoes would you wear if you worked in a casual workplace where anything goes? Lots of coworkers wear sneakers, runners, flats, but they usually wear these with pants or jeans. I often wear skirts and dresses with tights so I’m wondering what would look good and stay comfortable and funky at the same time. In early fall, I can still wear a sandal or sling back with bare legs, but as it gets chillier, I’m wondering what would look good with tights? I do have a custom orthotic, so can be any stable flat heel. Thanks!

  11. SSJD

    Seeking product recommendations. Not sure how to phrase this: what are simple, cheap products that you use and want to tell me about? I ask because I recently learned about Command strips, which I’m now using to hang my son’s posters on his bedroom wall. Now that I know about them I see them in stores everywhere! What else should I know about that is cheap and excellent.

    Other examples I’ll share with you:
    –magic eraser is a great product for cleaning, especially white surfaces such as white counter tops and white plastic items like step stools
    –WD40 is useful for locks that don’t turn easily, just spray some into the lock and use your key to turn
    –newspaper is excellent at absorbing water from wet shoes; stuff wet shoes and in the morning your shoes are dry (the newspaper is wet)

    • Anon

      This might not be what you’re looking for, but I love shower curtain hooks that are shaped like an anchor. It is very easy to remove the liner (when it gets old and gross) or the shower curtain (for washing); you don’t have to unsnap twelve little circle things and then resnap them and….

    • Veronica Mars

      I’m loving clipa purse hooks on Amazon. They’re like $15 and work so well to keep my purse off the floor in restaurants.

    • Anonymous

      If you are putting off the perfect window treatments for whatever reason (e.g, short-term renting), paper blackout blinds are SUPER cheap, ridiculously easy to install, more aesthetic than other cheap solutions, and will make your bedroom dark overnight. They’ll fade over time, but I really wish I knew about them when I was a student, since it’s so much easier to sleep in a truly dark room.

      • Anon

        Careful with these. I recommend checking Amazon reviews on the stickiness of the glue. We used these temporarily before getting our window treatments and it ripped the paint off the drywall where attached when removed.

      • Anonymous

        Amazon. And yes, I wouldn’t just yank them off without softening the glue (hair dryer, solvent, hot water, something).

        • Anonymous

          I have these all over my new house as a quick fix and I am sooooo glad I just read this. Will now remember when I go to remove (after I’ve saved the gobs of $$ required for real window coverings).

    • Torin

      Graphite lubricant is intended for use in locks. WD 40 gunks them up over time. They sell graphite lubricant at any hardware store.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to no WD-40. I’ve also just used machine oil (which I have for my sewing machine) for a deadbolt where the key was really hard to turn.

  12. Panel outfit

    I just found out I’m going to be speaking on a panel at a conference this fall in a heavily male dominated industry. I will be one of the youngest speakers and one of only a handful of women. It’s a industry that is know for very snappy dressers. What should I wear???? I want to convey that I belong, but I definitely need to be on the trendier side to keep up with all the guys. Help!

    • TCFKAG

      Budget? I mean, if you have the budget for it, I feel like this is what Akris is really good at.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, but Akris can skew a bit . . . Tilda Swinton. Which is awesome, but can be a lot of look. For a sh*tton of $.

        • TCFKAG

          Well sure. But it certainly fits the trendy requirement. (And personally, if I was taller and thinner I’d absolutely dress like Tilda Swinton, her style makes me smile even when it’s at its zaniest).

          On a more serious note – if Akris or something like it isn’t in the budget – I’d stick with a classic pants suit and then add style with patterns or scarves or jewelry and shoes. That way you’re not spending a ton of money on an outfit that you probably won’t be able to use in your everyday work life.

      • Anonymous

        Not Akris budget and also, I think that’s too menswear inspired for this.

    • BB

      I would wear something menswear inspired. Colorful button down shirt with French cuffs if you can find them, suit (probably a pantsuit if they work for you). I would also do flats unless you are very short.

      • Panel outfit

        I don’t want to wear a suit, it’s too conservative for this and I think it will make me look like I’m trying too hard to fit in with the guys. I want to look equal level trendy to the guys, but in my own lane.

    • Anon

      Prolific speaker here – see if you can find photos from last year. This will give you a sense of dress code, but more importantly the furniture set-up. Panels can really be anything – bar stools, couch, etc. If I’m presenting, I wear a 3/4 length sleeve dress and a blazer; it I’m on a panel, I’m more likely to wear a pants suit since the seating can be so variable and difficult. I’ve seen a number of women speakers at my events lately wearing pants (both slim and trouser cut) and highly structured tops (instead of a suit), and I think it looks great but might not work for a very conservative event.

      You mention keeping up with the guys – in my experience, men and women’s conference clothing is so different that what they do won’t translate well to what works well for women speakers. If the event is trendy, like you mentioned, I’d wear something fairly basic and then focus on the accessories.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        I was recently on a panel where I was siting on a stool. I wore an nice dress that usually reads fairly conservative, but I saw pictures and I essentially look naked – all you see are my bare legs. Lesson learned – if there is any chance you will be sitting on one of those stools with no table, wear pants or a longer than average dress. Pants, pumps and an interesting top would probably be my first choice.

    • JB

      Dress (just below the knees), cut out booties, either great necklace or moto jacket

    • In House Lobbyist

      I just went to a conference where I spent most of the time hoping the woman on the panel in a low arm chair style wouldn’t flash the audience. She was in a normal length dress and bare legged with heels. Something about the way she kept crossing her legs and the dress sort of splayed out on her leg made it troublesome. The stage was also up higher so it also added to the problem. So if you will wear a dress, be careful of how it lays when you cross your legs and if the audience is lower than you.

    • Anonymous

      I often speak in similar settings (youngest person, only female, etc.). I usually go with my favorite cut of pants plus a cool blazer and a blouse that hits high on your chest/neck. I think pants are best for speaking because it works regardless of the seating arrangement (and meeting rooms can be freezing). A blazer adds structure to help not stand out as young but there are so many varieties of blazers that it’s easy to find something that is occasion-appropriate. (My favorite jacket brands for speaking are Theory and Boss.) I think a blouse that hits higher helps with the age thing, too. I’ve always noticed that more established women rarely show the skin below their clavicle, so I think it’s a subtle/subconscious thing that can show your age.

    • Anonymous

      I would do trousers and a trendy top — deconstructed if modern is your vibe. Make sure there’s a place for the mike to clip and the mike battery to rest. Don’t wear a skirt because conference organizers are into either sofas or barstools for seating.

  13. Anonymous

    Anyone up for some vicarious travel shopping? I have a 20 hour flight coming up (India!) and am hunting for the unicorn of pants: breathable but stretchy/comfy fabric, but still looks put together, and preferably not athleisure (it’s just not my look- I’m just a bit more formal). Upper budget is maybe $150, but obviously less would be nice. Thank you!!!

    • Anon

      Hahah I mean, look at the post. Eileen fisher stretch crepe slim ankle pants. Feel like pajamas, look like nice pants, and you can wash them in the sink and they’ll look good as new.

    • iced coffee

      So this isn’t somewhere I normally shop, but my mom got me hooked on JJill skinny ponte pants. I’m 5’4″ and get a petite so they’re ankle pants, and they’re a suuuuper comfy pull on style (and my tops always cover the waist so you’d never know they were pull on). They feel like leggings but are less tight and much thicker – and they’re on sale now in a bunch of colors. The black ones are basic, but I get compliments constantly when I wear the polka dot ones.

      • Anon

        What do you wear with these? Are you under 40? I am late 30s. Wondering if this would be age appropriate for me.

    • Anon

      I really think you will be the only person on a 20 hour flight who is not wearing athleisure. Are you sure you can’t just wear leggings? With a tunic top and some flats, it won’t look athletic-y. Most people on this flight are basically going to be in their pajamas.

    • Anonymous

      So, this is obviously going against your preference, but I recently purchased the Lululemon Woven On the Fly pants (make sure you don’t confuse the woven and unwoven – there is a big difference in how the pants lay and the wovens are thicker and (on me) much more flattering). They’re the least athletic of the athleisure pants I’ve seen and hit all your other wants.

      • First Year Anon

        I have these are they are called my “flying pants” for this reason

    • Ms B

      J.Jill is good for this. Add a tunic, a long sweater and a snuggly scarf for the plane and call it good.

    • Anonymous

      I recently did a 20 hour flight in a pair of ankle trousers from Talbots. Substantial, stretchy woven fabric, with a zipper but no waistband. Ultra comfortable, but real pants.

    • lydia

      I purchased some skinny pajama jeans basically as a joke, but they are really comfortable (like sweatpants) and look a lot like actual jeans. (I got grey, which seems to look the most natural). They have an adjustable drawstring waist. I got them on Amazon for maybe $25? worth a try.

  14. Organizing Closets

    Fun question (I think) this morning. If you were going to organize closets from scratch, what/how would you put in there? We are in a small NYC apartment, so all of these are reach-in closets. We have 2 closets in the master bedroom and 1 closet in the second bedroom (for a kid).

    • And Peggy

      I’ve only ever had reach-in closets. I like to have a shoe rack along the bottom for shoes I don’t wear often (and another place by my bedroom door to keep more frequently-worn shoes), a stack of cubby shelves (those wire ones you assemble yourself work great) along the side with canvas totes, and more canvas totes on the shelf up top, as well as extra pillows or blankets. Ideally hooks for hanging belts and scarves either on the back of the door or on one of the inside walls.

    • KonMari Addict

      I love Elfa from the container store – it took me 3 tries to get the configuration right, but once the system was in, it was easy to move stuff around.

      Basically, I ended up with one long hanging bar with a shelf on top (narrow – easier to get into), and shelves on one half of the bottom portion of the closet. This way I had long hanging space and short hanging space and shelves for boxes of shoes. In my daughter’s closet, which was much deeper but not quite a walk in, I had the mesh drawers – the deepest one functioned as a hamper. If my own closet was deep enough I would have done the same for myself. Oh and I put the hanging bar lower than you typically see in closets, so I had better access to the top shelf. My long hanging stuff was just off the floor, but I kept nothing on the floor. No longer in that apartment, sadly! Miss those closets.

      • Ouch! That hurts

        You can get similar and sturdy white shelving from Lowes and Home Depot…

  15. sheath dresses with flats?

    I love the look of sheath dresses, but to me they always look good with a heeled shoe. Flats just never look right (to me), although flats do look good with cropped or skinny pants.

    Any good flats to consider (maybe pointy toe? Ferragamo Vara/Varina clones)?

    I ask myself, what would Meaghan Markle do (and she is a heels/dresses flats/jeans person, not that I internet stalk or anything)?

    • Anonymous

      I like the Ferragamos you mentioned but also the Audrey Ferragamo flat – it’s lovely with so many different things. I’ve been buying it on repeat for 17 years (d!mn I feel old ;0 ) It was originally designed for Audrey Hepburn and they started remaking it. Comfortable, stylish, versatile.

    • Anon

      I would not limit your search to flats. I would look at low heels and mid heels. I can see a low kitten type heel with a pointy toe looking just fine with a sheath dress.

    • Anonymous

      You might try Cole Haan “skimmer” flats, which have a pointy toe and to my eye an adequately dressy vibe. I am also wearing Butter kitten heels, the ones with the super low heel. And L.K. Bennett has some super low wedges wth a pointy toe.

  16. busybee

    What shoes would you all recommend with these pants? I really like them and am considering buying them, but I wear pants in winter when it’s cold and I’d like to keep my feet warm, i.e. not flats. I’ve always struggled finding good shoes to wear with pants. I’m short, with short legs.

      • busybee

        What do you do with the pants though? Do the pants get tucked into the booties? Or are they long enough that they go over the booties?

        • K

          It looks like these pants would stop at the ankle. My booties stop at the ankle so there would be a small gap between the bottom of the pants and the top of my shoe.

        • Anonymous

          No, don’t tuck pants in unless you want to look like a weird equestrian. My pants are usually long enough, or I’ll purposely cuff them to hit the top of the booties because I like that look.

          • Mpls

            I have some midshaft boots (Sorel Joan of Arctic wedges) where I do tuck my pants (jeans) in. Mostly because they are skinny jeans and wouldn’t go outside well.

            Straight leg pants could go over the shaft of a taller boot shaft (below calf, not knee high), but might look better with a flat than a heel/wedge. You’d have to try it out.

            But as stated below – ankle pants just don’t work well in the cold, unless you are okay with showing off your socks (or not wearing any – not an option where I live).

          • CountC

            Horse Crazy: Not the person who commented but it is a weird look (I have been riding 30+ years). I take my tall socks off and turn my breeches up so that the bottom fold hits mid shin then put some trendy sneaks on like Chucks or my fun NBs when I leave the barn.

    • anon

      I have the same problem and need solutions, too. I end up wearing more trouser cuts in the winter because it’s easier to wear them with shoes that actually cover my feet! I can’t stand having cold feet.

      • Anon

        It sounds like you already have your solution then. I feel like every year people ask how to wear ankle pants without having bare ankles and the answer is to wear different pants!

        • Arid

          +1 this is why I wear mostly dresses / skirts in winter. Fleece, thermal tights, or even warm leggings with boots in the winter have been my go to, as my feet are way too cold in ankle pants. I have super colt feet, and anything to keep them warm gets my vote. I have jeans that end at the ankle, so those are my ankle pants, so to speak, and I don’t wear them if it’s really cold.

          Shout out to the old navy cotton velvet rockstar jean in a regular length. I have these in deep blue, and they are warm, and I wear them with ankle booties. If ankle booties are too cold with even with these regular length pant, I do admit to occasionally tucking them into black suede mid calf boots — kind of a neat velvet / suede look —but I’m always on team keep feet warm:)

    • buffybot

      I know this isn’t exactly what you asked for as I don’t own this particular shoe — however, I am a HUGE Everlane fan and yet have never tried on a pair of their shoes that I find comfortable. They seem to run narrow (and I don’t have wide feet) and tend to be pretty stiff. But they’ve got a pretty easy return policy, so why not order them and see?

    • anon

      I have it in black and like it. A couple caveats: Everlane shoes do run quite narrow, but I have narrow feet, so it isn’t a problem for me personally. They do take time to break in, but the Everlane shoes I have, once broken in, are comfortable and great quality (I have a couple pairs of their loafers as well). For this style in particular, make sure the vamp hits you at a comfortable spot on your foot–I have the similar style flat from MMLF and don’t find it as comfortable because it cuts me in the wrong place. But the Everlane style works for me. I also don’t find it good for tons of walking because the strap rubs a bit. For me, they are shoes I wear inside the office only.

        • anon

          They did for a while, but they seem to have had some sort of production glitch lately, so they’re not offering them on the website. You can probably get them if you email a stylist though.

    • anon

      I don’t have the sling, but I have serious buyer’s remorse about the Everlane shoes I bought. They are beautiful, for sure. But they will not break in, and they are so uncomfortable that I can’t bear wearing them for a full day. Worst $140 I’ve spent on shoes, for sure, and I have the type of feet that in theory should work with Everlane’s fit.

      • Anon

        Agree with this. I have narrow feet and have not been able to break in the Everlane day pumps. They sit on my shelf or, if I wear them, under my desk off my feet when I’m sitting.

    • OP

      Thanks all. I think you just saved me $140 …. I have a wider forefoot and narrow heel. This sounds like the wrong shoe for me all around.

      I have a similar pair by the now defunct brand Fidji that fit perfectly but are wearing out and I have been hoping to find a replacement.

  18. TorontoNewbie

    My mother in law wants to start listening to podcasts. I don’t listen to any. Any recommendations for podcasts for a nice lady in her late 60s? She was an HR manager her whole career. No significant outside hobbies or interests. Likely leaning more to educational/political/social than celebrity/gossip/fashion/arts. Canadian and not overly interested in American politics. Thank you!

    • K

      My favorite is Stuff You Missed in History Class. They talk about more obscure things, lots of topics from lots of countries. A lot of the stories are about women.

      • Anonymous

        Also Stuff your mother didn’t tell you, which is similar but has women focused stories

      • Anonymous

        I love Stuff You Missed in History Class.

        Also, The Memory Palace, which I heard about on SYMIHC.

    • Anonymous

      Echoing K above, the whole “How Stuff Works” series, which includes Stuff you Missed in History Class, Stuff You Should Know and maybe 4 or 5 others are great.

      My parents (in their sixties) really, really, really, really like the Katie Couric podcast. I have not listened to hers, but I’ve heard her on a few other podcasts and enjoyed when she’s been a guest on the other podcasts. It’s to the point where I should probably start listening to this one so I stop disappointing my parents.

      I listen to a lot of podcasts, many of which have a specific focus/theme. However, as a change of pace recently, I’ve started listening to the Dax Shepard podcast “Armchair Expert” and really like this one. It’s mostly just him talking with his celebrity friends, so I wouldn’t qualify it under any sort of “theme” (others might disagree). He can get slightly pretentious, but I really have enjoyed that it’s a longer podcast that’s really just a conversation.

    • C2

      My mom and I both love The History Chicks. There are several Ted Talks options. Serial is an original that hooked many into podcasts and is still popular. How I Built This, Modern Love, Fresh Air.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I have been listening to Hidden Brain and Money Planet on the NPR network. Haven’t gotten into Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me, but I hear it’s also excellent.

    • Tippins

      Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History, NPR’s Hidden Brain, The Good Life Project

    • LadyB

      I recently dove into the world of podcasts and realized I much prefer educational content. Some of my favorites are- Science Vs, Freakanomics, Tell Me Something I Don’t Know, How I Built This, and Hidden Brain

    • Candidate

      Stuff you Missed in History Class
      WhistleStop (US political history, hosted by John Dickerson)
      Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History (multi-hour long episodes about a historic event, usually a war)

      The rest of my list is US current politics or fiction, but these may be good for her!

  19. Anonymous

    We’ve been house-hunting for about 6 months (looking at pictures on Realtor for longer than that) and we finally found a house we like enough to make an offer on. We’re currently in offer negotiations with the seller, but there are no major barriers to coming to an agreement and so we’re anticipating having an accepted offer in hand by the middle of next week.

    The house we found is in a nice, quiet neighborhood, in an acceptable school district. It is a lovely place with many features we really like. However, it is not the neighborhood I would choose if I could control the world; that neighborhood is about three miles down the road, with great school districts, great access to everything we want in terms of both shopping AND outdoor recreation, etc. We have been waiting for a house to come on the market in that neighborhood in our price range and it hasn’t happened.

    Lo and behold, this morning I check Realtor (I know) and a house in that neighborhood that I really liked, but was above our price range, has had a price reduction and is now offered at the top of our comfortable range (but not outside it).

    Would it be crazy for me to put the offer we’re trying to put together on hold while we go take a second look at this place in the great neighborhood? I am just worried if we don’t go take another look, and go forward with the offer on the good-enough house, I will have buyer’s remorse and always wonder what-if.

    • Anonymous

      Kick the tires — you might get it, you might not (other offers, weird sellers). But you won’t be thinking What If in 10 years.

    • Anonymous

      No, go look and make an offer asap, as in do it today if you can. It may not work, but you should try.

    • SSJD

      Yes, put the current negotiation on hold and check out the house in your dream neighborhood. Neighborhood really, really matters.

    • TCFKAG

      Is the ball in the seller’s court right now? Have you agreed to terms? You are making a purchase that could literally last the rest of your life, you want to be entirely sure. I’d go see the house ASAP and then decide whether, if you made an offer on both houses but were waiting to hear back from Dream House when Okay House’s seller agrees to terms, would you be able to walk away from Dream House.

      Personally, I would definitely look at Dream House, but try to keep it in perspective. If Dream House is a stretch financially, consider whether you’ll be happier in Okay House with more disposable income. Consider whether Okay House is somewhere you expect to stay for a long time or if you think of it as “just” a starter home (heck, you could always live in Okay House and then watch for another house in Dream Neighborhood).

      There probably isn’t one good answer, but there’s nothing that says you can’t make offers on more than one house.

      • Anonymous

        Can you walk away if you’ve made an offer? I’d be cautious about making two offers at the exact same time. If they are both accepted before you can withdraw one, then you’re stuck.

        When assessing your finances on Dream House, don’t forget to calculate childcare costs (you mention school districts so I assume kids). Many people are surprised that childcare costs, especially for 2 kids, can easily match your mortgage payment. And afterschool care for elementary school is not necessarily significantly cheaper if kids are in lots of activities.

        • TCFKAG

          At least in my state, the buyer can walk away at any time up until closing, though you lose the deposit.

          DH and I walked away from a house purchase after our offer was accepted because the contingencies the seller wanted were obnoxious and I got a look at the Condo Association agreement (a two unit association and the other unit was bigger and got 2/3 vote which meant that whomever owned the larger townhome could basically force the owners of the smaller townhomes hand on anything).

          I forget all the finicky details right now but it would definitely be something worth talking to their realtor about.

        • Anon

          In my competitive market, I’ve had three offers out at the same time. It also took me 18 offers until we had one accepted. If all three were accepted, we had outs built into the offer. Loose language lets you walk in a lot of cases (things I now know to watch out for as a future seller!). But i suppose worst case is you can’t technically just walk away penalty free, so then you lose the good faith deposit which is generally a nominal $1-2k in my market.

      • Anon

        OP says she’s still negotiating with seller of house 1 so she is not in contract. This is the perfect time to consider another house.

    • Anonymous

      Go check out the new house. This happened to me – was negotiating on a good place when something amazing hit the market and I withdrew the offer and went for the new one. Did not regret it a bit. Your realtor should be able to handle this dance with tact.

  20. Roma

    Do any of you lovely ladies have recommendations for Rome hotels? Bonus points for under $200/night – I don’t need super luxury, just something that is comfortable and close to a lot of the sights.

    • anon

      My family (parents + sibling) stayed in an Airbnb while in Rome. We were close to the Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, and about a 25 min walk from the Vatican. I believe it was about $140 bucks a night for a three bed two bathroom place, and it was very quiet and secure.

      • Anonymous

        Second the recommendation for an AirBnb. I stayed in one right next to the Pantheon. It was roomy and comfortable and close to everything. The hostess, Serena, was also wonderful and gave me a lot of personalized recommendations.

    • Anon

      We liked Maison Giulia – walking distance from basically everything, comfortable, friendly and responsive when we needed anything.

    • BB

      B&B All’Orlogio is affordable and was very good, also in a very cute tiny streets area that is awesome to walk around. 10 minutes walk to the Castel San Angelo and maybe 25 to the Vatican. If you want to splurge Baubino 181 was an amazing luxury boutique place near the Spanish Steps. You might be able to find a deal for closer to 200.

    • Elly

      Hotel Ponte Sisto on via Pettinari, bright, clean, well-kept and superbly-located round the corner from campo de Fiori and the pretty pedestrian bridge to Trastevere just steps away, lots of good dinner options within walking distance. Room rates tend to vary a lot between peak and off-peak but the latter should come in at your budget.

    • Anonymous

      We went in May 2017 and couldn’t find a well-rated, centrally located hotel under $200 a night (to be fair we didn’t look at AirBNBs, since I vastly prefer hotels). We ended up at Hotel Canada, which is technically a Best Western (I know…) but looks and feels like a boutique hotel and has been managed by the same Italian family for many years. The only downside was the breakfast was terrible, but we just went and had gelato for breakfast instead. It was right around $200 a night, close to Termini station.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        Sonino Suites in Trastevere. No-frills kind of B&B place (no breakfast, but lovely cafés nearby). It was clean, bright, well-located, and dirt cheap when we were there in March. We would stay again.

  21. Anonymous

    The ask a manager podcast, planet money, freakonomics, this American Life, BBC world documentary, people fixing the world

  22. Anon

    The carpet in our new rental apartment isn’t as clean as I would like. Can anyone recommend a place to rent a steamer and/or a specific model that works best? I’m not looking for miracles, but it just looks gross right now.

    • Anonymous

      If you were looking for miracles, I’d recommend finding a carpet dry cleaning company. It’s still counterintuitive to me, but I’ve found they get things cleaner and do better spot treatments. But steaming will probably be cheaper; just make sure you get the carpet completely dry.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Grocery stores weirdly always seem to have carpet steam cleaners for rent–I think the ones I usually see are Rug Doctor models? Lowe’s and Home Depot also have ones to rent usually. I don’t have any particular model recommendations.

    • Anonymous

      Have you tried talking to the landlord? Seems like it should’ve been cleaned (properly) before you moved in.

    • Anon

      Go for the basic solution for the last 20 yrs – rent a steamer from Home Depot, throw down big area rugs.

      • Rainbow Hair

        I rented a carpet steamer from OSH a few years ago and it was kind of the best thing ever. Serious workout, the great satisfaction of being like “EW GROSS THAT WAS ON OUR CARPET?!” when the water got all brown… A+ would rent again.

    • new job who dis

      you can get steamers from basically anywhere – grocery store, drug store, etc. look up rugdoctor.com you’ll be shocked how close they can be.

      no need for the fancy soap if you don’t want to buy it a nice water + vinegar will do wonders. hope you’re into #powerwashingporn because you’re gonna be horrified at the water that comes out of the carpet.

    • mascot

      Big box home improvement stores and some grocery stores usually rent carpet cleaning machines. Have you asked your management company if they cleaned the carpet as part of the turnover process? You may be able to get them to take care of it.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve rented a rug doctor from the hardware store (Lowe’s maybe, or Home Depot. I don’t remember.) But if you are renting, have you asked the landlord to have the carpets professionally cleaned? It is not that expensive and does a better job than the smaller machines.

    • Anon

      Thanks all. The carpet was “professionally cleaned” before we moved in (just like the dusty cabinets and stained tub were…) so I don’t think I can really request for the management to do it.

  24. Clothes for thicker lady

    Speaking of pants, does anyone have brand recommendations for curvy women with junk in the trunk? I’m not talking about having a slightly larger behind, I’m talking about, built like a latina or AA (which I am) with thick thighs going into a large behind, and proportional waist. I work in a corporate environment and find myself wearing loose clothes to hide my shape since any pants I wear are just too revealing. For reference, I’m built like J-lo or like a slightly shorter version of the elementary teacher criticized for being too hot for her job (link below)…which criticism is why I have been dressing in loose, and sometimes ill fitting clothes. I feel like I have no other option than too sexy or frumpy.

    The teacher: https://cw33.com/2016/09/13/is-hot-4th-grade-teacher-causing-a-distraction-in-class/

    • Anonymous

      I’m built like you (white, but former sprinter shape + desk job = junk + cushioning in my trunk).

      I like the Logan cut pants from BR (I buy for hips and often still have to take the waist in even through they are “curvy”). Some Athleta casual pants have worked well — the ones with a stretchy waist have done better for me. Also, Levis curvy cut jeans (have only found on their website; you have to size way up, but they don’t cut into my trunk areas like some others).

    • Anon

      The thickness of the pants’ material makes a difference. The lined Logan pants from Banana work for me, too, in trouser cuts when I wear suits or more formal business wear. I like ankle pants for business casual, and the Loft Julie works (although I have to tailor the waist). People love the Old Navy pixie, but I can’t wear them. The fabric is too thin, so you can see that it’s stretching across my bum and thighs. That’s when it looks too tight or hugging, even though the fit is actually pretty much the same as the Julie. I haven’t found business pants anywhere besides Banana and Loft that work for my shape. One plus side to sizing up and tailoring the waist is that the rise is longer, too, meaning that your pants won’t be pulling down in the back when you sit and the waist sits closer to my natural waist so the band doesn’t cut into me.

    • JB

      This is the story of my life and why I switched to skirts. I wouldn’t handle pants and the “cupping” back in both behind and at the thighs. I tuck in blouses and tailor every single dress/ skirt I purchase.

    • Anonymous

      This is my shape as well. I find structured trousers with bootcut or wide legs look the best. I have pairs from Vince Camuto and Brooks Brothers, and, oddly, St. John.

    • Anon

      Pants are hard with your figure. I am a less voluptuous version of you (or the teacher) but have leaned towards fit and flare dresses and skirts (not sheaths, nothing in stretchy fabric) because of this very issue with my pear figure.

  25. impostor syndrome

    I applied for an internal promotion that would be a long shot. I sent heads-up emails to the two leaders who will be hiring and supervising the position (dual reporting role). Both emailed me back, and the Big Boss wrote, “As an aside, I’d be happy to talk about your overall career development if that would be helpful. Totally up to you but I wanted to mention it.”

    This is a good thing, right? It doesn’t mean, “LOL I can’t believe you applied for this job that is way too big for you, I’m going to talk to you about all the problems you have that you have to fix before I promote you”, right? Ugh.

    signed,

    last night I had nightmares that everyone made fun of me for applying for a job that was above my pay grade

    • Anon

      I had a similar situation happen with me. I wrote back enthusiastically and set up time within the week. He asked about my long term career goals – as in what job I want to retire from, had a frank conversation with me on what skills I’d need to demonstrate (over the next 3-5 jobs) to get to that point, and offered to be a mentor. I ended up with a list of 5 jobs I need to take, so if I didn’t get the current role, I’d have 4 others to try for next. And then I got the promotion the following month.

      So yes take it as a good thing. Maybe she wants to do something similar. And if you don’t get this particular promotion, hopefully you’ll get some insight on what skills you needed first, and some concrete roles you should take next to demonstrate those skills.

      • Anonymous

        +1

        This is definitely a ‘you might not get this role but we like you and want your career to progress’ message.

      • LAnon

        This is a good thing!

        One way you can read it is Big Boss thinking, “Oh no, if she’s applying for this job, she’s applying for other jobs outside the organization–I must speak with her ASAP to make sure she knows that we value her and want her to progress along her career path here, not somewhere else!”

    • Idea

      of course you apply for a job above your pay grade! What, you’re supposed to apply to entry level jobs when you have so much experience! You’re fine!! Good luck!

  26. Greensleeves

    I picked up two pair of the NYDJ stretch knit pants during the Nordstrom anniversary sale and I really like them. Very comfortable, look sharp, washable. I only see black at the moment, but they did have navy as well. Here’s the link: https://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/nydj-stretch-knit-trousers-regular-petite/4991652?country=US&currency=USD&utm_content=33067516789_cd22d9b6-6416-4632-b0fa-f4e0fb99fe89&utm_term=aud-425188852237:pla-259693824709&utm_channel=shopping_ret_p&sp_source=google&sp_campaign=662927188&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItpOdjIWV3QIVD3F-Ch323AbPEAQYASABEgIzE_D_BwE.

  27. L

    I have a fantastic pair of black ponte trousers from NYDJ (not sure the exact ones exist anymore–mine have some subtle pleather accents around the pockets, and I’m not seeing them on the Nordstrom website now). I love the fit, look, and comfort, but I haven’t been 100% pleased with their durability–after a year of (quite regular) wearings, the ponte is definitely no longer looking brand new. At this point, I think I’m the only one who would notice, but I think after 2 years, it might start to really show. I’d expect better for a $120 pair of pants, but hey–they’re machine washable and look great on me, so to be honest, I’d buy them again.

  28. Anonymous

    My pear-shaped friends: I have found the Holy Grail of pants. My waist is 10″ smaller than my hips…and my thighs are a couple inches wider than my hips. (Regular-ish rear.) I seriously did not wear pants for years because it was honestly too hard to find anything that fit.

    Behold, LEE Women’s Modern Series Ivy Pull-on Ankle Pant on Amazon for $35. Yes, LEE, the purveyor of dorky ’90s jeans.

    – These pants feel like yoga pants. Mid-afternoon bloat? Ate too much salt last night? Gained two pounds since you last wore them? Eh, no sweat. There are no buttons or zippers or uncomfortable seams – you just pull them on like yoga pants.

    – They don’t wrinkle. Ever.

    – They stretch AND hold their shape.

    – They fit at my natural waist and don’t gap. No hoisting up my pants every time I stand up.

    – They printed the words “You are gorgeous” inside the front waistband :)

    – Did I mention they’re $35?

    We’re having a casual jeans day at the office today, and I wanted to wear them over jeans, but picked jeans for office morale/fit/you know.

    You’re welcome. They’re TTS.

    • AZCPA

      I have sung the praises of Lee on here before. I’m currently wearing Lee Slimming Fit Rebound jeans. Same amazing fit and benefits described above, although they do have a button and zipper. I have literally done yoga in them.

      Thanks for bringing them up!

    • Anonymous

      i just bought a down vest and shearling slippers from them because winter is coming and i’m all about being warm.

    • anon

      Has anyone tried the LL Bean no-iron oxford shirts? Bonus points if you can compare these to Brooks Brothers no-iron shirts!

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