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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 164 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Akris Punto

Suit of the Week

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Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe SuitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. For some reason it feels like ages since I've seen a pinstriped skirt suit, and I'm loving this one from Akris Punto. Pinstripes can be tricky to wear as pants, so I vastly prefer them here with the skirt (which also would be a gorgeous separate), and it feels fresh and new. I like the peplum details on the jacket, and I think I like the banded belt with the skirt (although I can't quite decide). The jacket (Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe Jacket) is $1290, and the skirt (Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe Skirt) is $440.
Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe Jacket Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe Skirt Akris Punto Wool Pinstripe Jacket2
(L-5)

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Equity's Darling

    This suit is fabulous, I love it- the shape is great, and I really like the belt on the skirt.

    I’ve been really into green smoothies recently- anyone have any good combinations?

    • Anon

      I make mine with frozen berries, frozen banana (half usually), plain greek yogurt, spinach, and vanilla protein powder. Sometimes I add cinnamon, lemon juice, or ginger. If I have any mango, I add that instead of banana.

      • preg anon

        I put almond butter in mine, which makes it taste like dessert. I love it. My favorite fruit combo is blueberry and pineapple.

    • Anon

      I usually do a lot of spinach packed into a cup with some vanilla yogurt, water, and frozen mango or frozen berries. I’ve tried many combinations, but I keep going back to the simple ones.

    • Ellen

      Yay! I also like the suit, alot, but the back is a littel to frilley for me, Kat. By makeing it tight up top, it kind of highlight’s the tuchus, which is NOT where I need to be now until I loose about 5 pound’s in the tuchus.

      The manageing partner keep’s bothering me about my caseload. The fact that I am manageing over 90 case’s now myself is evedenteally NOT enough for him and he want’s me to go back to Jim and Roberta for more. He also want’s me to take out the Supermarkit Guy’s even tho they did not give us hardley any busness.

      Willem said we could NOT date any more now. It is NOT like we were dateing, anyway. He took me to some game’s and out to dinner, but we did NOT do anything sexueal, so I do NOT understand why he is so mad. What was I suposed to do, Marry him and moove to Belgum and have his mom and grammy tell me how to please him in BED? No way, HOZE! I want a child, but do NOT want to have to move to Belgum to live on a farm and churn butter to have a child so that Willem can work at the Belgan bank all day and come home and expect a hot meal. There probabley is NO restrunt’s that deliver near there, so I would have to be a regular cook for him. FOOEY! I would not even cook for Prince Willem, b/c they have their own cook’s in the Castel. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      David texted me again, so mabye I will give HIM another chance. After all, Dad keep’s askeing me about him, so mabye I will be abel to report on something new with him, though I am a littel concerned that he want’s me for something LESS then marrage. FOOEY!

    • LawyrChk

      I do kale, ground flax seed, almond milk, half a banana, frozen fruit and occasionally plain yogurt. I blend everything but the fruit to get it frothy and add the fruit and yogurt near the end.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Spinach, pineapple, mint, plain greek yogurt, banana.

      Totally stole this from a smoothie place but a lime, swiss chard, peach combo I had was delicious!

    • Pink

      chard + banana + pineapple

      beet + apple + some mango + greens

      I’m liking it simpler lately, with more ice.

    • Amelia Bedelia

      spinach, water, banana, and natural peanut butter. it’s a true juice, not a smoothie (use my vitamix).

    • ContractsinTX

      Every morning, my husband makes us smoothies. We use one banana, a cup of mixed frozen fruit, either water or a little orange juice, and about three cups of spinach. It makes two large smoothies that have 4 WW points each.

      We had a smoothie once that was frozen butternut squash and frozen mango. It was delicious.

    • Silver

      Spinach, banana, whatever fruit is on hand, water and coconut manna! That extra bit of fat makes it richer and satisfying.

  2. big dipper

    We on the hunt for wedding rings (exciting!). What we want is fairly simple (white gold band for him, white goald band with some kind of diamonds on the band for me). Does anyone have any recommendations of jewelers in NYC?

    • Senior Attorney

      We got our wedding rings at Costco, of all places. Great prices and although the selection isn’t very big, it’s worth a look because if they have what you want you can get a great deal.

        • Anon

          Another rec not NY specific, as I’m not in NY: got a really good price for simple bands at an antique jeweler whose prices were solely based on the current market price for the metal by weight. We requested simple bands in platinum, and he brought out a bunch. We picked through them, and my 1/2 platinum, 1/2 18k gold band was ~250 (less than that, I think, but can’t remember exactly).

    • Anonymous

      I went to a booth on the north side of 47th st. Don’t remember the exact address, but there are plenty of these places. We paid the spot price of gold plus a few cents, basically. We got plain bands, but I think the jeweler also did diamond bands. My understanding is that if you pay cash, they won’t charge sales tax. Not sure if that is a plus or minus in your view, but FYI.

    • Tuesday

      We got ours at Stuart Moore in Soho. It was the first ring I’d seen that I wasn’t willing to leave the store without.

    • Calico

      Check out Catbird in Williamsburg. They have an extensive online site as well.

  3. waist measurements

    Love Akris and Akris Punto

    Q — why are there waist measurements for pants? Unless it’s mom jeans, pants have been nowhere near natural waistlines for over a decade (I get it for dresses and work skirts).

    • Mpls

      Because it’s still called a waistband, even though it’s not being worn at the natural waist (Thank God). And it’s a standard sewing measurement.

      • zora

        but that’s the problem now, is that I can’t figure out where the heck they are measuring from! which part of me do i measure to get the ‘waist’ measurement? blerg. I have given up and just go by the hip measurement and figure every pair of pants will have to go to the tailor anyway ;oP

        • Rosalita

          Measure where you wear your waistband. For me, that’s really my hipbones. Then I measure my hips around the widest point, which is not where my hipbones are, but further down, about mid-tuchus.

        • Anon

          Measure your actual waist. The measurement won’t measure up with the waistband on the pants (so if you measure the waistband on a pair of 28″ jeans it will be larger than 28″), but it’ll correspond to whatever the drop waist should be on their fit model.

          • M2

            This. If the pants are meant to sit on your hips, the waistband will be sized to fit the hip measurement that corresponds to that waist measurement (i.e. a size 28 waist will fit 38 inch hips).

        • CKB

          What I believe happens is the clothing company has a standard pattern block they use that is the plainest of plain pants, shirt, etc. Then they modify it for the style. So, the starting pattern block will have the waist at the natural waist, which is why they require the measurement in the sizing info, but for the actual clothing item you are purchasing, the pattern has been adjusted from this base so the style is what is desired.

          I hope that makes sense.

    • Lily student

      I’m glad this annoys someone else too. Some UK high street stores sell their jeans by waist measurement rather than by size and it’s just like… No.

  4. Q

    I bought a leather jacket from Nordstrom’s and the sleeves are very tight. The sleeves are half leather, half cloth, and the leather portion is lined. Am I right in thinking that it won’t stretch out very much?

    • rook

      I think you’re right – while leather can stretch, the lining likely won’t allow it to.

    • Calico

      It won’t. I kept an unreturnable leather jacket with this problem. In time the leather split where it was pulling on my shoulders. This was one of those very soft think leathers that were really popular a few years back, so YMMV.

  5. spring work travel

    I have a NYC client visit for two days; up and back via plane. OK to bring tan suit (the ela jacket from nordies and skirt / pants) with black shoes and accessories. Otherwise, I can wear the black that I wear each other time I visit.

    Also, unless I am going straight to a client site on a same day flight, I really want to fly in gym attire or fleece. Even denim would be formal. Is it just me? I so hate wearing heels on terrazzo floors and if I bring another outfit in my wheelie bag, it has to double as lounge/sleep wear or exercise wear

    • rook

      I don’t have any advice for you, sorry – but I do have a question about that Suit! I have had my eye on it (the Halogen Ela tan suit) for a while but can’t tell if the jacket looks like a suit jacket or more like a blazer separate that happens to have matching bottoms, if you know what I mean? Does it work as a real (summer) suit?

      • spring work travel

        It may be that the pants fit me so well that I wouldn’t care. I initially just bought them, but got the jacket to be more polished than pants+cardi (and then got the skirt). I think it reads suit b/c I’d never buy a tan blazer just to wear. I had a tan glen plaid loft suit that I wore to pieces and needed to fill a wardrobe gap. Otherwise, I had too much black.

    • Anon

      I usually wear leggings or yoga pants on a plane. Just make sure you don’t check everything – once they lost my luggage and I had a meeting in the morning, so I had to shop for a new outfit at Walmart, the only place open at 11PM.

      • anon

        +1 – I always fly in yoga clothes & pack a “just in case” outfit in a bag separate from my suitcase (I always pack to carry-on, but sometimes you get forced to check).

    • Anon

      Honestly, jeans or leggings are not that uncomfortable and look SO much more polished than gym attire. Just don’t do it – dress in an outfit that if you had to run into clients or superiors or met a great networking contact on the plane, you wouldn’t be embarrassed by.

      I once met the chief justice of the federal court on a plane – I was so glad I was in jeans and a blazer and not the yoga pants I had briefly contemplated.

      • ContractsinTX

        I agree – jeans, flats, and a blazer are the way to go on travel. 1. Your company is paying for your trip, and you are representing them during the entire trip. 2. You never know who you are going to me. I was randomly seated across the aisle from one of the EVPs on a business trip. We were attending different meetings, so I didn’t know he would be there.

        I don’t even wear athletic clothes on personal travel. They aren’t the only definition of comfort.

    • oil in houston

      when flying for business, I tend to wear a ponte dress, this way it’s comfortable, I can dress it down with a cardigan or wrap for the plane but have my jacket in my carry-on if need be, and I still look professional if I run into someone in the lounge….
      (btw, I’m with you, I hate flying in jeans, I find it uncomfortable)

      • OP

        That is lovely.

        A lot of my non-work outfit choices are based around sneakers and not any shoe that would look decent with that dress. Maybe it’s my extremely problematic feet or how airport days tend to involve a lot of standing and a lot of heavy lifting. I have a lot of junk in the trunk, so I’d wear shorts + polo in the summer or something like the LE Starfish pants + turtleneck + fleece in colder weather, but I cannot imagine wearing leggings as pants anywhere other than the gym or my house. I always seem to be cold on airplanes, so I layer up like an LL Bean catalog (but if it’s in pants, some sort of comfy knit; denim can have unforgiving seams if you’re sitting for long periods).

    • mama of 2

      I don’t live in New York anymore, but my memory from when I did live in NY is that it’s a little early to be wearing tan suits. I don’t think people really wear light-colored suits until it’s full-blown summer.

  6. Leigh

    I know there are a few ladies on here that went back to school to change careers, etc. later in life, so I have a question for you. I’m currently looking at going back to school, and am really struggling with weighing the cost/benefits of going back.

    I’m going to be 30 this year, and I’ll have about 4-6 years working full time and going to school before I graduate. I’m estimating that my student loans will be about 80K. I am not looking at going into law: I’m doing accounting.

    How did you ladies decide that the cost of student loans was worth the degree(s)?

    • spring work travel

      I know there are a few ladies on here that went back to school to change careers, etc. later in life, so I have a question for you. I’m currently looking at going back to school, and am really struggling with weighing the cost/benefits of going back.

      I’m going to be 30 this year, and I’ll have about 4-6 years working full time and going to school before I graduate. I’m estimating that my student loans will be about 80K. I am not looking at going into law: I’m doing accounting.

      How did you ladies decide that the cost of student loans was worth the degree(s)?

      • Leigh

        OK, that’s a good way to look at it. Starting off in accounting I’ll probably make what I do now (best that I can tell), but the difference is that I’m capped out where I’m at and probably will never make more than I do right now. Going back to school would enable me to make more over the long run. I’m also going to be working full time while in school, so I’m not losing my income.

        • spring work travel

          I’d go for it then. Plus, maybe having an advanced degree would also give you the option of teaching? My retirement dream is to teach a class as an adjunct in the college town to which I retire so I can have mostly free time, some income, and my mind doesn’t turn to mush.

    • Kathryn

      My decision is two-fold: 1) It’s a complete career change and I have to go back to school to get into the industry; 2) It’s guaranteed that I’ll have a significant salary increase, which will make up for the cost of school in approx 4 years.

      For me, the monetary benefit is obviously enough by itself– the fact that I am really excited about the new industry (and really dislike my current one) is a major plus. However, I still think going to school is worth it if one would be significantly happier after graduating, even if the costs don’t balance out. Is your situation one in which a current/future employer would potentially cover part of your loans?

      • Leigh

        I’m actually not certain how to determine if a future employer would cover part of my loans. With my current employer, it’s not an option.

        • LT IT

          I went back at about the same age as you are and almost 20 years later, I’m glad I did it every day of my life. It was hard and I had to take a pay cut at first and really work my way up but so totally worth it. I love my job and I never think “What if…?” But are you sure you will have to pay $80K to do this? Can you take some courses at your local community college? It seems like people are always looking for lower-level accounting people. Could you maybe take some classes and get on with a company that will finance the rest of your education and give you some experience while you are learning?

          • Coach Laura

            Leigh, I’m not sure if you’re going for an undergrad or grad degree but I agree with the recommendation to try community college classes if possible and to try to find an employer who will provide tuition assistance. My graduate degree (earned while working full time) cost me $400 total plus blood, sweat and tears.

          • Leigh

            I’m currently taking classes at a community college, and the 80K is really a rough estimate on the top end of the scale. I’m trying to look at worst case scenario.

            Unfortunately, looking for a different position that would pay for part of my schooling isn’t practical, because I would (probably) never find something at another company making what I am now. I’m pretty ‘unskilled’ (No degree, got very lucky with my current position) at the moment, making a very good salary, so taking a 40ish percent pay cut just for tution benefits isn’t viable with my current financial situation.

      • Leigh

        My current position is not in the accounting realm at all. To be honest, I chose accounting because starting pay in my area is similar to what I’m making now, and my DH would really only be OK with me going back to school (because of loans) if I came out making at least what I am now. Once I started taking classes in accounting, I realized that I truly do enjoy it. I’m sure that the actual job differs from class work, but in general the work is interesting to me.

        • CPA

          Overall I’d recommend accounting – it’s been good to me. I started out at $39k in public accounting in 2006, made $73k when I left public accounting in 2013, and now make $93k in corporate. I’d recommend getting your CPA if you’re going to go through all the trouble of school etc. Is that part of your plan? If it is, note that you may need additional classes in addition to the core accounting classes to have enough credits to sit for the CPA exam.

          Do you know if you want to go into public accounting or work for a corporation or maybe the government? Public accounting is the most desired background by employers but it’s not for the 9 to 5er. I was so burnt out when I left public accounting that I almost left accounting entirely. Do you have or want children? If so, I wouldn’t recommend a career path in public accounting. You don’t have to go into public accounting though, I have many friends that went to work for O&G companies straight out of college and they’re doing great and making the same amount as me. So it doesn’t always pay to bust your b*utt in public accounting but most of the time it does. Sorry if this was way too much unsolicited advice.

          • Leigh

            No, I really appreciate it! The only accountants I know are my professors and some of them aren’t super helpful. I come from a middle class, blue collar family, so no one in my family is really able to help with info for decisions like this.

            I do plan to get my CPA. The additional classes needed are now (basically) equivalent to a Master’s degree right?

            I haven’t completely decided if I’m going to go into public accounting or government/corporation yet. We don’t have children, and we don’t plan to have any, so that’s not really a consideration. What were the hours like? Was it consistently busy throughout the year so there were never any down times?

    • Shana

      I use the tool of, your student loans for a degree should not exceed the salary you will receive your first job out of the program. So, don’t go 80 grand in to debt, if you are going to come out making 40. Do if you are going to come out making 100. Are you going the Masters of Accounting route or the MBA route? I only ask because I have quite a few CPAs in my exec mba program who said the mba gave them more options for career growth then a masters in accounting would have. Just a thought :)

      • Leigh

        I’m not sure yet which Masters I would pursue. I’m considering both, but haven’t made a firm decision. That is really good information though, so thank you!

        • CPA

          It wouldn’t let me reply to you above. I think the class requirements are pretty close to a Master’s in Acct but the Master’s exceeds the req. for CPA in most cases. I know a number of people who just took the additional classes so that they were eligible to sit for the exam rather than getting a Master’s because a Master’s in Acctg doesn’t really do much for you. As someone else said – MBA is much better (and would meet the CPA requirements). If you’re working full time, I would expect to devote at least 6 months to studying for the exam in the evenings. It took me a year but I’m not the best at managing my time.

          Hours in public accounting for me were 70 per week average during busy season (Jan 15 – April 15 and two weeks in Sept. and two weeks in Oct. for extension deadlines). During the off season it was typically around 45. For some people this is manageable. I wasn’t able to work 70 hour busy seasons anymore. I was fine during the actual busy time but for 3 months after I was a wreck – depressed, crying for no reason, yelling at my husband, etc. It wasn’t pretty at all. If you’re the type that doesn’t mind a lot of pressure and hours it might be okay for you. I think it takes a certain personality.

          Some things to consider when going into acctg:

          Are you a huge people person? By that I mean, do you need to talk to people and interact with people throughout the day? I’m a very outgoing person and sometimes I feel like accounting doesn’t allow me to express myself enough. Sometimes I feel lonely sitting in an office all by myself all day. Things to consider.

          • Leigh

            70 hours would be tough, but I could probably do it to get the experience. Regarding the people person thing, I’m decidedly not a people person. I really enjoy solitude, and need quiet to work. I do need social interaction, but I generally get a lot of that through other venues: church, family, etc.

  7. LawyrChk

    DCrettes: I’ve now got a meeting in DC on Friday, and it looks like everything back out of DC is oversold all weekend (thanks, Congress Easter break). How difficult is it to fly out of BWI? I was looking at the MARC train to get there instead of braving the roads, but anyone have suggestions?

  8. NYC Wedding

    Is it possible to have a wedding under 20k in NYC for 120 guests or am I crazy to even think so?

    • Wannabe Runner

      Depends on how fancy you want it. But my wedding, far far away from NYC, had the same number of guests and a similar cost, and we served pizza at the reception.

    • tesyaa

      What does the $20K have to cover? Just food and venue, or also music, clothing, invitations, flowers, liquor, etc, etc, etc?

    • anon for this

      I strongly doubt that is possible. I had 80 guests in another major east coast city, no photographer, DIY on lots of things, and it was around $15k by the end.

    • Kathryn

      Maybe if you got married in a church ($3,000 ish probably) and contacted Central Park or another park about reserving space? It’s not an easy process, but you might be able to stay within your budget if you did your own food or catered from a place like Carmine’s. Maybe you could have room in your budget to pay a few catering staff to set things up?

      I don’t see there being a restaurant that is both big enough for 120 that will also let you do a dinner for under$166 per person including tax and gratuity.

      I really feel, though, that if you go outside the city you’ll have much less stress trying to stick in this budget for that number of people.

        • Kathryn

          Nice! Also, I think I knew this but forgot, alcohol is not allowed in Central Park (or any other NYC park, probably). This could be positive because it would save you even more money!

          • Anonymous

            There’s a park in tribeca with a gazebo that you can reserve with a “donation” – I forget the name of it. Washington something? You could do some sort of modified buffet in there. A friend had her wedding for under $10k and included dinner at Morans in Chelsea, but I don’t know if there was a special deal (or how many people were there) – but she thrifted her wedding dress and cut a lot of other costs. Rebar in brooklyn always seems to be closed for events, and you could get married at one of the picturesque spots nearby or on the brooklyn bridge.

            My wedding was $27k in a tiny Midwestern town with something like 80 invites. So either way, good luck! Maybe look at some of the budget posts on wedding bee for nyc brides?

    • LizNYC

      My wedding for 80 guests on a Saturday night on Long Island in Fall 2010 came in around $20K-25K (dinner was $85/head). I think you could do it, but you’d have to be very, very judicious about what you do. I’d expect Manhattan to be a bit harder. You could have a photo-inclined friend do the pictures (THE biggest expense from mine) as the wedding present/for a smaller-than-a-professional fee, make it a c**ktail hour/brunch for lower food expense, borrow/2nd hand your dress (or find an amazing deal on one), etc. etc.

      I wish you luck! I’m sure people have done it, but it just means doing lots of things yourself or not doing things the way people around here always seem to do them (Friday-Saturday night sitdown, multicourse dinner with dancing, DJ, band, 2 dresses, etc.)

      • preg anon

        Is 2 dresses now the norm? I have never been to a wedding where the bride changes, but I’ve seen it in magazines, etc. I didn’t feel like I got enough time in my dress as it was!

        • LizNYC

          Ditto! I was in mine for 12 hours and even though I was so happy to get the corset part undone, I’ve always wanted to wear it again just because. Maybe around the house?

          I’ve been to two recently where there was an outfit change between the ceremony/reception or during the reception itself. And these are normal people. I think all of those TLC shows are finally having their effect.

          • Anon

            I went to one. Outdoor ceremony, outdoor reception, 110 degree heat. I wouldn’t have stayed in a long fancy dress either!! The 2nd dress was a very pretty, simple, elegant cream/gold cocktail dress – and ensured that bride didn’t faint.

          • Anon

            Oh, and this was about a decade ago (and not in the US) so I don’t think the outfit change was TLC-show influenced!

        • PinkKeyboard

          I didn’t officially plan one but it was 102 degrees so I had my husband bring a normal white sundress from my closet just in case… which was good as I was so hot I felt sick. I’m sad I didn’t wear my dress longer but enjoying my wedding and dancing was worth more!

    • buffybot

      I don’t have the broadest knowledge on this point, but have some general sense, based on my own wedding planning and the recent weddings of friends. Unfortunately, I think the answer is “yes, you are crazy” for a 120 person wedding actually in New York City — unless you do something a bit unexpected, such as a potluck, cocktail party, brunch wedding, weekday wedding in the off season, etc.

      So that is to say, a “traditional” wedding on a weekend that involves some kind of dinner (buffet or otherwise) with a professional photographer? I’d be surprised if you could get it in NYC for less than 20k for that many guests. Frankly, I’d be surprised if you could get it for less than 40k. But there are lots of variables that you could play with — as mentioned before, brunch, champagne and dessert reception, no booze, potluck, no professional photographer, skipping flowers (I know someone who handmade paper flowers, for instance), etc. I don’t know that would necessarily get you to less than 20k, but that’s where I would start.

      • SZF

        I’m getting married in NYC this fall for around that cost – maybe a bit more? It’s doable, but as an earlier poster said, it’s not necessarily going to look like a traditional big wedding. FWIW, I’m sure we could have done it for less with a cheaper caterer – and you can cater from places like Dino BBQ for even less than that (but you’re then taking on the cost and hassle of hiring staff, which we didn’t want to do.

    • HMRC

      I went to a wonderful wedding in NYC where the ceremony was held in Central Park and the reception was a c-tail/dessert party at a downtown bakery restaurant that was typically just open to the public for breakfast and lunch. I’m sure it was less than $166/person, though I think the numbers were probably closer to 80 people.

    • wedding resource

      Have you looked at the website for A Practical Wedding? There is a series of posts where people talk openly about their budget and how they pulled off their wedding, and also lots of posts about budget weddings. Food will be a huge cost with that many people, so doing just cocktail snacks, a brunch wedding, or a combo of potluck and cheaper catering, like tacos, may be necessary.

  9. anonforthis

    I recently found out about a 2-3 month international opportunity at work for a short-term project. I’m being considered, and on all counts, it looks like it would be an incredible opportunity. I’ve always thought I wanted to do something like this, and yet, now that it’s a real possibility, I’m panicking and wondering if I should back out of consideration. For some reason, I’m freaking out that I’ll miss out on something back at home. It doesn’t help that I just started dating someone awesome a few months ago. But opportunities like this don’t come up every day, and it’s not like it’s permanent…

    Someone tell me that I’m being ridiculous and that I should do this!

    • jr

      I think you should do it. You’re right that opportunities like this don’t come along everyday and if you can make it work, you should. I did something similar with my current company (albeit for a slightly shorter time) and it really set me apart as someone who is driven, promotion/advancement minded. And it was just a good personal experience to be in a different country. It built confidence in me that I continue to grow professionally and personally. If the guy you’re dating is really special, it will work out.

    • EB0220

      I think your instinct to go for it is right. I had a similar feeling recently as my husband and I briefly thought he’d have an opportunity for a medium-term international assignment. We had always talked about doing this, yet when faced with the opportunity I got really anxious! I gave myself a stern talking to and decided to fully commit if the option became available. In the end, it fell through, but it was a good exercise in not letting fear of change hold me back.

    • Ginjury

      I think you should go for it. What are you afraid of missing out on back home?

    • NOLA

      I would do it! It will probably give you more opportunities for advancement. That is often how these things work.

      FWIW, I went on a fairly prestigious (in my field, at least) sabbatical program about six months after I got married. I flew home once, for a close friend’s wedding, but was otherwise gone for 3 months. It was great to have some new experiences and hang out with friends in the other city.

    • Anie

      The best way to know about a place, IMO, is to live there for a bit, and 3-4 months duration sounds AWESOME. I would definitely consider it.

    • cbackson

      Doooooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! You will never regret it.

      If your someone awesome is truly the right someone awesome, s/he will wait for you!

    • Pip

      Do it do it do it! Living and working in another country, even for a short time, is a very broadening experience.

      Ways to get excited about the trip and start thinking about all the awesome things you would miss out on if you didn’t go:

      * Read up on interesting museums, galleries, shops, concerts and sights there
      * Read the local paper online (if you can read the language)
      * Cook a local speciality at home or visit a restaurant with food from that country
      * Listen to the webcast of a local radio station – can be fun even if you don’t understand the language
      * Get a weather widget on your computer desktop to show you the weather there
      * Stroll through the streets with Google Street View

  10. Faking it

    When you are asked, “Is that your natural color?” what do you say if you dye your hair? Is admitting you dye a good thing, or bad thing for women who might look up to you?

    What about if you have had work done? Is not admitting it setting up unrealistic beauty expectations for other women who look up to you?

    • espresso bean

      I always admit. Otherwise, yes, I think it’s setting up unrealistic beauty expectations. But I don’t think telling a white lie is wrong, either. It’s your body/hair/face, and it’s up to you how much you want to disclose.

    • tesyaa

      People shouldn’t ask that question. It’s pretty rude. I understand that this doesn’t help with your dilemma.

    • Anon

      If I’m a woman, and I look up to you, I can 100% guarantee that it has nothing to do with whether or not you color your hair.

    • rook

      Yep I would go straight-up Miss Manners with a quizzical look and “why do you ask?” on that. Also recognizing this doe s not help with your dilemma.

    • anon

      maybe I’m in the minority, but assuming they aren’t asking you in front of other people (or maybe in a small group) and you have a close working or semi-personal relationship with the person asking, I don’t think asking whether you dye your hair is necessarily a rude question depending on the tone/phrasing used. I think it’s different than asking someone if they’ve had surgery. maybe they want a referral to your colorist because they like the color a lot? honestly I would just take it as a compliment and happily tell them the truth (but fwiw I’ve never dyed my hair so maybe I’m just not familiar with the etiquette).

      • Em

        I dye my hair – I feel like it’s pretty neutral and don’t care about people asking. (Though come to think of it, they generally don’t.)

    • Ginjury

      As a redhead (who sometimes uses dye to enhance/add dimension to my hair), I get that question very frequently and generally take it as a compliment, like “your hair is beautiful and I wonder if I could recreate the color.” Sure, it’s not the most polite question, but I’ve never heard it as rude. As to whether you answer it honestly, I usually say “yes, with a little help,” but that’s really up to you. I think it’s silly to lie about coloring your hair just like I think it’d be silly to lie about wearing make-up. I don’t necessarily think lying sets unrealistic expectations though, because chances are high that there are people with your hair color naturally. I’d also add that coloring your does not add or take away value from you in the opinion of those who venerate you.

      • anon

        I disagree a little bit; there are very few (to my knowledge) natural blondes whose hair is actually the color of most “blondes” out there. I’m under the impression that the majority (if not the vast majority) of blondes dye their hair or at least have highlights.

        • Em

          I believe that only like 7% of adults are naturally blonde. Obviously, the prevalence varies in different populations but still.

        • Blondie

          I’m one of those unlikely natural blondes, and it’s a little annoying when someone assumes my hair color is fake. With eyebrows and eyelashes as invisible as mine, I’d like the benefit of the doubt!

          • Platinomad

            As a natural platinum blonde, I sort of love when people ask if I color my hair. But I know it is generally considered rude unless people ask it with a sincerely nice tone (I have been known to inquire about red heads because I think red hair is so rare and pretty).

          • Sadie

            I think it’s actually about 16%, redheads are the least common.

            As a hairdresser I had several natural blondes, women of german or nordic descent generally.

        • anon-oh-no

          like ginjury, i get this question a lot for my blonde hair and i also dont think its rude. i have no idea how many folks have blonde hair naturally, but mine is.

          • National_Anthem

            I also am a natural blonde and get this question a lot. It doesn’t bother me a lot… however, my hair does get really sunbleached in the summer, and sometimes the (naturally occurring) highlights are pretty intense, and I’ve had people tell me that my stylist did a bad job on my highlights. Which is exceptionally rude and awkward.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            I have natural ombre. Dirty blonde roots, getting lighter to light blonde at tips. I also get intense summer highlights. I have had a few people mention in the winter that I need to “get my roots touched up.” No roots, just natural season changes. I’ve had people swear I dyed my hair darker after getting it cut. Nope, just cut all the light blonde off.

        • PinkKeyboard

          My husband is. He is so blonde that hairdressers thought it was colored on numerous occasions. If it grows out (fabulous early 90s mullet) it is long flowing and Kathryn Heigel golden blonde. Yes I, as a frizzy brunette, am fairly jealous of his fabulous hair.

    • Baconpancakes

      There’s generally two reasons people ask this question: 1) your hair is so beautiful, they can’t believe it’s natural, and want you to admit it’s dyed, and 2) your hair is so unlikely, they can’t believe it’s natural, and they want you to tell them it’s real. Regardless, unless the person asking is your very close friend or your hairdresser, it’s rude.

    • Senior Attorney

      1. Not every question has to be answered. You are certainly free to smile and say something like “I’m sorry, that’s on a need to know basis,” or “I’m not inclined to answer that question, for a variety of reasons which I am not inclined to discuss.”

      2. That said, shortly after I had my facelift, somebody I hadn’t seen for a while walked into my office and shrieked, “OMG you look AMAZING! Have you had, like, major work done?” and I shrieked right back, “OMG! I, like, totally have!” Which, I think, embarassed her far more than option 1, above, would have.

      3. I assume every woman (at least those with no obvious grays) helps her hair color along in this day and age, and I’m surprised it’s even a topic for discussion.

      • anon-oh-no

        those with blonde hair dont have to color. I dont color mine (at 38) and my mom never colored hers.

      • Nope

        No, never colored my hair and I’m 55. No gray, still the same as I had when I was 20. I realize I’m in the minority but not everyone colors their hair.

    • Ebro fin

      I would just say “I don’t know,” and let them try to figure that out.

    • Frugal doc

      I have gotten this question multiple times, but I suspect for different reasons.

      I have brown hair and started getting greys in my 20’s. I highlighted, then started with semi-perm color at the salon in my 30’s. Very simple, matching my natural color. But I haven’t dyed my hair regularly for the last few years, as I am a caregiver, not working, and $$ is very tight. I now have a lot of greys, obviously, but in a somewhat unusual pattern with an odd ombré effect. Oh well.

      Older woman (ex older than 60) ask me if I “do that on purpose” and say they really like it. Multiple younger women (pretty forward/rude ones under 40) have said “is THAT your natural hair? Because you look so young…..” They make it clear that my hair ages me, thinking I am about 35. I say, “no…. This is what 44 looks like.”

      Clearly, I will start dying my hair again before I go back to work. I hate the cost though, as I need it every 4-6 weeks.

    • Wildkitten

      Why is this a touchy subject? Doesn’t like everyone color their hair these days? I don’t think this is as rude or sensitive as the other commenters.

  11. zora

    Leaving for a long-weekend visit with NOLA tomorrow (whheeee!!!!), and I’m trying to get my brain in traveling mode.

    So, fun thread. What is your favorite one thing you have ever done on a trip?

    For me, I think it was the first time I ever went to NYC by myself when I was a teenager, getting a slice and wandering around Times Square people watching and then getting in line at TKTS and buying myself a ticket to a Broadway show. I saw a lot that week so I don’t remember what was first, but I also saw Rent that week and it was amazing, and I felt so sophisticated and awesome wandering around NYC all by myself like a grown up. ;o)

    • Cb

      That’s an awesome story. My best friend and I went to Paris after high school grad and felt like such grown-ups!

    • NOLA

      Ok, I’ll bite – although I won’t recommend anything here!

      My favorite thing on my most recent trip to NYC was that my friend and I decided to try the lower-end restaurants of big name chefs. We went to Otto, Casa Mono, and ‘Wichcraft. We ended up not having to wait long, despite not having reservations and we had some incredible meals! So much fun.

    • hoola hoopa

      My husband talked me into renting a 4-wheeler when we were on Santorini. It was such a blast. It allowed us to do things outside the immediate tourist area, but we also just had so much fun roaming the island at 15 mph (or whatever speed they do).

    • emeralds

      Impossible to really pick! I’m going with top four. Couldn’t even keep it to three. In no particular order:
      +The Christmas I spent in Rome was pretty magical–we woke up late, strolled through the old city following all the holiday lights, and had an amaaaaaazing wine and pasta lunch near Campo dei Fiori, then walked some more before going back to the hostel for some much-needed R&R.
      +Spending all day at the beach in San Sebastian, Spain, before going out for world-class tapas and drinks with a crew from the hostel.
      +Seeing the Alhambra in Granada, taking a ton of touristy pictures, having a beer at one of its cafes, and then going for (wait for it…) wine and tapas.
      +Staying with a family friend who lived on the beach in Portugal, eating her amazing food and lounging on the bougainvillea-draped rooftop deck when the tide came in too far to go to the beach.

  12. LawyrChk

    Reasking since I managed to get the annoying moderation. I’ve now got a meeting in DC on Friday and am having trouble finding a flight back out of town. Is BWI an option? How long does it take to get there from downtown DC? (by train or car?) Any other suggestions much appreciated. Thanks!

    • Em

      BWI is an option. I find it not much more trouble than Dulles, to be honest, and it’s quicker to get around the airport once you’re there. By cab, it’s maybe 45 minutes and $100; you can also take the train from Union Station (don’t remember how long it is but it’s not bad; there’s a short shuttle ride from the train station to the airport). For the latter option, you can check the Amtrak and MARC websites.

    • Anon

      BWI to Union Station is about half an hour on Amtrak, not sure about other methods of transportation.

    • locomotive

      for bwi, you take the marc train (which now also runs on weekends!) to union station. i remember it being 30-45 mins but i haven’t taken iti n a year or so. of course reagan is the easiest to fly in/out of, but i would actually fly bwi over dulles if the marc is running. traffic out to dulles is a disaster.

      • LawyrChk

        My preference and my usual choice would have been Reagan, but it’s completely oversold and there are literally no flights out available on Friday afternoon/evening, period.

      • DC Darling

        Agree a thousand percent. National is always my top choice because it’s efficient, fast, and close by, but I would take BWI over Dulles in a heartbeat. Dulles is a disaster of an airport set in the middle of nowhere,huge, and not enough cabs.

    • A Nonny Moose

      The road to bwi is often a disaster during rush hour (and many other hours as well), FYI. I would amtrak if possible.

    • KLG

      BWI should be called Baltimore Airport. Washington is a total misnomer. On a Friday I would take a train over driving, but either way you’re probably looking at 1-1.5 hours.

      • Em

        Heh, I don’t disagree but Dulles probably shouldn’t be called “Washington” either. Dulles NOVA Airport?

    • Lady Tetra

      Supershuttle is maybe $40-ish? It’s been a while since I took it. I have also taken the train from Union Station. Not a big deal, and easier than Dulles in my view.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve flown into and/or out of all three, and if DCA is not an option, I’d definitely take BWI over IAD. Take Amtrak/MARC out of Union Station–the train itself takes about 35 minutes, but you’ll need to get there earlier to buy a ticket (if you haven’t prepurchased) and to get to the platform. The shuttle over to the airport from the Amtrak stop is easy and fast–maybe 10-15 minutes.

    • AFT

      This is embarrassing to admit, but the one time I flew into bwi I had a real hard time discerning the shuttle from the regular city buses and almost headed straight for downtown Baltimore. People were kind of mean about it too.

    • dc/bwi

      It’s also easy to take the bus to the metro, which helps cut down on traffic (bus is every half hour, though). B3, I think.

  13. reference question

    I’m in grad school and have a part-time job right now. I am looking at FT jobs for after I graduate, and would probably not keep my current job after starting a new FT one. My supervisor just agreed to give me a reference as I am applying, but I think he believes I am just applying to other PT things and would stay on. (To be fair, I did not do anything to correct that belief.) Do I need to be clear that I’m looking at changing jobs completely, or can I just count it as a positive reference and not worry about the fact that he might be mistaken? I am nowhere near knowing when I’d want to leave my current job.

    Also, do I need to worry that someone calling him as a reference will even bring up that it’s a FT position I applied for?

    • anon2

      I don’t think I would worry too much about it. Unless your supervisor is a serious dolt, why wouldn’t you be looking for a full time opportunity once you finish your program? And unless you enjoy benefits with your part-time gig, it only stands to reason you would be seeking these in a full time position. You don’t mention whether your current part-time job is in your field, but even if it is, unless there is some possibility the part-time position could turn into full time work once you’re done with school, I think it’s safe to assume he understands what direction you’re going.

      • hoola hoopa

        I agree. I’ve had graduate students working PT under me, frequently offered to be a reference, and never once expected any of them to get a second PT position so that they could stay on PT with us. Frankly, I’d think that was a weird choice if they could have gotten a FT position elsewhere.

      • reference question

        So, the PT job is in my field, and there is theoretically a possibility that it could turn into FT…but I think everyone involved knows that that is a stretch and not likely to happen until long after I graduate anyway. Benefits are nowhere on the table at all.

        If this changes anyone’s opinion, please let me know. Otherwise thanks for the assurance.

        • anon2

          No change in my response. You are fine – I’d only change my reply if it looked like the possibility was real within say 6 months or so that they would offer you a FT position and you really liked everything about where you were at. Otherwise don’t worry – no one will hold it against you if you’re looking for FT.

  15. Anonymous

    Should an attorney have an active bar status if they are not currently in a role that is an attorney position? Or does that just mean that they could practice, not that they currently are practicing.

    • Senior Attorney

      I am not quite sure why you are asking this question. A little context would help.

      That said, my law firm once hired an “attorney” who, as it turned out, had not yet exactly passed the bar exam and was not yet exactly admitted to practice despite having been out of law school for two years (long story and extenuating circumstances, but still he should have been up front about it). We were not amused. At all. So I think that if one is not admitted to practice, one calls oneself an “attorney” at one’s peril.

      • Anonymous

        Someone keeps saying “I’m an attorney” at work but she wasn’t hired as an attorney. Shes an active member of the bar. I just didn’t know if people go by job description or by passing the bar. I think it should be like MegB situation, where if you are not an attorney for that organization, you dont list that organization on your bar look up page and dont have an active liscense. I feel like you should have to have an inactive membership but I’m guessing there is no way to tell that person they have to be inactive.

        • Senior Attorney

          If she’s a member of the bar, she’s entitled to call herself an attorney, in my view. If she isn’t representing the organization and she’s therefore misrepresenting herself, that should be addressed. But in actual fact it seems to me that if she is licensed to practice and she is holding herself out as the organization’s attorney, then she is representing the organization whether anybody likes it or not. Certainly the organization should have E&O coverage for her in that case.

          And yes, it seems to me (unencumbered as I am by any actual knowedge of the situation) that this is a serious matter and somebody (general counsel? risk management?) should be looking at it and clarifying what her role is and how she should be holding herself out to others, both inside and outside the organization.

          • Anonymous

            Yes that is the problem. Its become this whole turf war thing. She is really over stepping her role according to the rumor mill. But it is hard to get anything concrete.

        • Anonymous

          If you are an active member of the bar you are entitled to call yourself an attorney. Why do you think she should be inactive? If her mentioning she is an attorney is causing confusion address that not her bar status.

        • cbackson

          Why on earth would she not maintain her license just because her current job title isn’t a legal one? She’s entitled to continue to be involved in bar activities (many of which will require that you hold an active license if you want to participate in a leadership role, sit on a committee, etc.) and the legal community regardless of whether you all hired her as an attorney or not.

        • Anon

          I think it depends on the context in which she says “I’m an attorney.” I have an active bar status and don’t practice on behalf of my employer. In certain instances, I will describe myself as an attorney who is currently working in banking. For the most part, I only do that when either I want to keep a potential career opportunity in the mix or when someone is being dismissive about my experience in the field.

        • Meg

          I work for a federal agency and am a licensed attorney in two states, but only maintain an active license in one of those states. In my current role, I do not practice law for my agency. However, having an active law license increases my pay on the payscale, and my agency pays to maintain my license. My address with the bar is listed as my office address because of the nature of the agency with which I work – I don’t really want to be making my home address super super easy to locate. So, I think it depends on the situation. Nothing wrong with her keeping an active license and listing her work address as her address with the bar. Representing herself as an attorney for her employer is a different story.

    • rook

      If you’re not practicing and you don’t want to do the work to maintain your license (CLEs and whatnot), at least in my state, you can file inactive status with your bar assn and you don’t have to retake the bar to be readmitted. Not sure if this helps answer your question.

      • Aggie

        This is easier in some states than others. In mine, it is such a pain to file inactive status that most continue with dues and CLE whether they are practicing or not. In my last CLE, I sat next to a mother of triplets who is remaining active, but not practicing, until they are preschool aged.

    • MegB

      My bar license is inactive. I’m a financial services compliance officer at a boutique hedge fund. The general counsel actually prefers it that way as it helps make clear the line between legal and compliance. If it makes any difference, it’s not that hard to switch back and forth. Hope that helps!

        • MegB

          I’m in CA and always have been, sorry guess I should have made that clear. Here all we do is pay an additional amount a submit a form.

    • Wildkitten

      I don’y use my bar membership at work but keep my status active so I have more options to do pro bono. I am an attorney even if I don’t get paid to file papers in court as my day job.

  16. SewRuthie

    Something on your site is playing music when I visit.
    So annoying!!!!!
    I may not be back, shame as I loved the articles. Let me know if you remove whatever it is.

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