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Suit of the Week: Banana Republic Factory

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woman wears teal linen suit with white tank and sneakers

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!

This Banana Republic Factory suit is such a pretty color, especially for a linen suit — I feel like it's rare to see linen in such a saturated color.

In spring and early summer I'd wear it with whites, light blues and teals, and light grays — and in late summer I'd wear it with black, navy, and medium blues like cobalt.

The blazer has a matching vest and three pairs of matching pants, including the pull-on pants pictured. There's a high necked dress that is lovely, but I see it as more of a separate. (There are also a TON of tops and tees in this color if you like the monochromatic look!) The suiting pieces are marked down, $48-$102.

(Psst: in case you missed it, yesterday we updated our big roundup of light blue suits for 2025 — so many great options if you're on the hunt.)

Sales of note for 4/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
  • Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card

183 Comments

  1. I think the solution is “jeans and a going out top” but…help me come up with outfit ideas? All my clothes are the casual end of business casual (jeans, knit tops and sweaters) or pyjamas. I’m invited to a milestone birthday party at the beginning of April. It won’t be a super fancy party, but I would like to wear something interesting and cute. The problem is it could still be cold and snowy here that time of year. I took a look at my usual stores (J Crew, J Crew Factory, Gap, Old Navy) and everything is too summery – linen, bright colours/patterns, dresses.

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    2. what’s the venue?

      in general, fabric is for the weather, color for the season. so something like white jeans with pretty flats and a bright silky top and wrap will feel cheerful and spring-y.

      1. The part will actually be at someone’s house (so again, not super fancy). I like the idea of bright colours with appropriate clothes, thank you!

    4. I’ve been doing long sweater or winter fabric dresses with boots while we still have snow. One of my friends wore leopard drawstring pants and a tighter fitting long sleeve black top (possibly body suit?) to brunch the other day and looked really stylish.

  2. Need some validation because I’m being made to feel badly for a decision that I think is the right one. I’m a senior associate in a firm that does not have lockstep raises/bonuses. I’m one of four co-chairs of the firm’s internal associate committee. There’s been a lot of frustration about the perceived lack of transparency in how compensation is determined. As a co-chair, I’ve been working to facilitate discussions between management and the associates. I’ve asked for greater clarity in a written policy to be provided to associates and I was told by leadership that the existing written policies are adequate.

    One of the partners in charge of comp decisions called me (did not set up a call, just called me) to talk about my request to schedule a town hall to discuss comp. I sent a summary email to my fellow co-chairs, who were not on the call. We’re (I’m) now scheduling the town hall. It will not be recorded per leadership.

    My co-chairs recently promised some of the associates that I would provide a summary of how compensation decisions are made based on my call and the upcoming town hall. I’m absolutely not doing that. Any compensation policy has to come from the firm. I’m not providing a “summary” that will be taken as essentially the policy. If someone takes minutes of the town hall, that’s fine, but they need to clear it with leadership before distributing it. I’ve made it clear that I will moderate the TH but I won’t also be the note taker and follow-upper about the notes (which probably won’t get approved, tbh), one of the other FOUR co-chairs can do that. I’m getting pushback from my co-chairs and others that I should just give them the summary. I’m honestly flabbergasted that a bunch of lawyers think an employee should go rogue and make up the employer’s compensation policy for them. I’m ready to throw up my hands and step down as a co-chair. I’m right to tell them to knock it off, right? Suggestions on other ways to say heck no?

    1. “I will be moderating and cannot take notes. If you think circulating something in writing after is appropriate, you are welcome to discuss that with [relevant partner] in advance so they know that’s your plan.”

      not to shit-talk your co-chairs, but I sure hope they’re not litigators!

      1. yes, this. They want written notes; they can push for them. But given your partners don’t want it recorded, they’re not going to want a “summary”. Keep it not your problem!

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    2. Can’t you call that partner back, explain your issue, and see if you have the partner’s back-up on your view?

      1. Not OP, but this would annoy 99% of partners I work with and possibly kill off the town hall entirely since it demonstrates a lack of consensus among its leaders.

      2. They’ve already said they’re not providing a (further) writing. Others are welcome to ask for a writing at the TH, maybe hearing it from multiple people will help move the needle. But I’m not calling the partner back to say, but are you sure you meant what you said?

        1. no no, I meant confirming that you have the right read on the situation – that nothing further in writing, even if styled as a clarification or FAQs, would be viewed favorably by management. You don’t need to tattle to ask this, just say something like the group is debating whether this would be a good idea, I’m leaning against based on our conversation, is that right?

    3. Of course you’re right! Say something like: “We will not be formalizing any statements about how compensation is determined during this town hall, so it would be inappropriate to distribute information to associates that could be read as such. Any statement about compensation will need to come from leadership and be fully endorsed and vetted by the firm.”

    4. Oof. I think if management is so reluctant to update written policies then it is a bad idea to have the town hall at all.

      1. Not to get too in the weeds, but there was an update to the policy not long ago and people understandably have questions about the update. I think we’re getting a knee jerk NO MORE CHANGES from leadership because it probably took a lot of effort to put together the update to begin with, and now they’re essentially being told that their work was not good. There’s frustration on both sides. I’m just trying to facilitate everyone having the opportunity to feel heard and to understand what the policy is intended to mean.

        1. You obviously have excellent intentions and I think the associates who work for your firm are lucky to have you there, but I think this has huge potential to backfire.

    5. Honestly it sounds like your firm sucks: no clear policy and thus lack of both consistency and transparency in compensation.

      Thank you for fighting for some transparency but what a shady workplace.

      3. Shouldn’t you go to bat for those below you with less of a platform to speak up though?

        1. I mean, this is a bunch of people who get paid a whole lot of money, not the civil rights movement. OP doesn’t have an obligation to jeopardize her own career standing over this.

      4. As an “old” partner, +100. Positions in firm leadership are great, but you can’t win here. No matter how right you as a cohort are (meaning the associates), you are an inherently weaker group than the partnership. And even weaker still than the comp committee portion of the partnership. This will not end well and I cannot tell you how little the partnership actually cares about whether or not the associates are happy with their comp structure.

          1. Honestly, no. If it’s that bad being an associate there, go to another firm. But frankly, associates are paid handsomely and a bunch of partners aren’t really interested in listening to them whine and take time away from billing for a couple of hours.

        2. Anonymous, in your experience is the partnership concerned with compensating fairly across gender and race lines? What if that concern is driving the associates’ quest for more clarity on firm policy: Care, don’t care? Honest question.

        3. Yeah for real. Girl, you just gonna get yourself on a termination list. This has no upside for you.

  3. what is your biggest annoyance with other drivers?

    mine is when people go medium speed in the third lane on the highway. the third lane is for crime! 10mph over the limit at least or GTFO

    1. This made me laugh, but I’m in a less populated area with fewer three lane highways.

    2. distraction. every time you try to get around someone who’s weaving all over the lane, can’t maintain a consistent speed, etc. they are freaking texting or pawing at the touchscreen.

      2. +1 As a pedestrian and bicyclist – OMG yes, the people who don’t use blinkers are hopeless drivers, they do not work well in traffic.

    4. Not actually exclusive with your point, as I also get cranky with slow fast lane drivers, but I hate when people drive more than maybe 5 mph over the speed limit when the speed limit is under 40. And if you drive 1 mph over the limit on my block, I’m also very grumpy. Slow wayyyyy down and put away your phone in residential areas! Kids, bikes, dogs, walkers abound.

      1. +1 each 5 or 10 mph over the speed limit significantly increases the risk of grievous harm in a crash with pedestrians or cyclists. People should not speed in residential areas or other areas with pedestrians and cyclists.

        1. This. My neighbor once threw the bag of dog poop she was carrying at someone speeding through our sidewalk-less but full of bikes and pedestrians neighborhood, and while I don’t necessarily support flying poop, that speeder deserved it.

    5. Waive when I let you in to traffic.

      DH’s is when someone accelerates to get in front of him and then brakes to turn right when the person could have instead slotted in behind him and then turned right.

      1. Honestly if people focus on their driving and don’t try to kill themselves or me I feel like that’s more the bar.

    7. Tailgating, especially on residential streets. Driving your car so that you’re up my rear end is not going to make me go any faster. In fact, I’m going to make sure I am at the speed limit and not a mile over. AND I’m going to stop for a really long time at stop signs and make sure I follow every traffic law to the letter.

      1. Tailgating is my biggest pet peeve, bar none. And no, I’m not in the left lane (and if I am, we’re both passing the same slow vehicle in the right lane and I’ll get over as soon as I can!)

        1. I saw a great bumper sticker that said something like, “are you following jesus THIS CLOSELY?”

      2. Same. It also makes me slow down because I feel like I’m more likely to get into an accident (eg if I have to slam on my brakes, I’m gonna get rear-ended, so I’m going to drive like a grandma and ensure no brake slamming could ever happen).

      3. I find the weird draft from their grill in my tailpipe makes my car unable to even reach the speed limit. And also find it necessary to unload all my washer fluid so overspray goes in their top-down convertible.

    8. I’ve heard – but cannot prove without more googling than I have time for right now – that there are only two states that don’t have “drive right, pass left” laws. I know Maryland is one of them. A bill to change the law gets introduced every year and fails every year (HB957 in 2023). As a DC-area resident, I lack the words to express the depth of my frustration with Maryland drivers who drive 50 mph in the left lane of any of the major highways in the broader DC area. The bill keeps failing in the Maryland House because lawmakers from the rural areas don’t see it as a problem / don’t want it to apply to their constituents, but I could nearly commit red rum whenever there’s a Maryland driver (and it’s *always* a Maryland driver) sitting in the left lane and blocking everybody just trying to get where they’re going.

      1. hahaha I live inside the beltway in MD, and I firmly believe the speed limit on the beltway is 70 when there’s no traffic. The signs says 55, but as I explain to my non-DMV mom, that’s the AVERAGE speed limit…you go <20 during rush hour, and 70 the rest of the time. If it's clear in front of you and you're going under 70 in the left lane, you are wrong.

        But if I had to pick just one pet peeve, it is tailgating.

    9. Three things:
      Driving medium speed in the left lane OR, even worse, in the Express Lane.
      Speeding up when I am trying to change into the right lane to make an exit, esp.if they then just drive next to me.
      Backing into parking spaces in busy parking lots.

    10. Some of our main highways are just two lanes. If the speed limit is 70, people in the left lane are going 80 and people in the right lane are going 60. There is no place where you can comfortably cruise at 73 mph.

    11. Two cars driving exactly the same speed (under or at the speed limit) right next to each other on a 4-lane (2 in each direction) solid double line road.

    12. I guess it would be people who get aggressive when I drive at the speed limit, lol.

      1. If you’re doing the speed limit, good on you, but get out of the left lane.

        1. eh, the speed limit is set for a reason. Passing other cars and briefly going over is one thing, and going faster because you safely can on a relatively empty street is another reasonable scenario. but I tend to drive in pretty dense traffic most of the time and I think nobody is fundamentally entitled to go over the speed limit as a permanent state. I think left lanes should be relatively faster than right lanes, but sometimes the top speed is the speed limit and there’s always one reckless asshole tailgating and weaving in an out. So don’t be that guy.

        2. During rush hour when all lanes are full, you can fuck right off. And if you hit me when I break check you hard for being that close? I will (and have successfully) absolutely request the responding officer to press charges for your emotional threat of violence caught on my dashcam.

        3. @6:42 move to the right. It’s not your job to enforce the speed limit. Slower traffic keep right is the law for a reason, not so you can get your jollies thinking you’re the hall monitor.

          1. Lol are you kidding me? It’s not my job to tell you what speed to drive, but somehow it’s your job to tell me which lane to pick? Where is the logic in that? Especially when you’re the one trying to bend the rules, why do I have an obligation to enable you?

          3. For the record, I never weave and hate it when people do, BUT…
            people weave because the lanes are going at inconsistent speeds and the left lane isn’t going faster than the right lane. If everyone followed Drive Right, Pass Left, there would be no benefit to weaving. Driving too slow in a passing lane makes the road less safe for everyone because it encourages/incentivises bad behavior in impatient people, of which there are many. There’s a minimum speed on interstates and bicycles aren’t allowed because too-slow traffic creates unsafe situations. Same thing with the passing lane(s).

          4. I guess I have found the hill I will die on today. I am not talking about a bicycle on the freeway and I not talking about going ten below the limit, neither am I talking about going slower than the cars to my right. Maybe you are willfully misunderstanding these things. We’d all like things in our life to go a little faster and less inconvenient. But until you get your own private highway system, I drive the speed that is safe and the lane that the speed fits with. If you are constantly weaving in and out to go around others, that means the majority of cars around you is choosing to go a little slower, so that sounds not like something that feel obligated to solve.
            If you think, oh it’s not most cars that annoy me, just those random extra slow ones, then we can flip that around: it’s not most zippy drivers that annoy me, just the few random jackasses who play Formula One on a Wednesday commute.

          5. anonshmanon, my general rule is that I check the real estate in front of me and the real estate behind me. If there is a wide open stretch of road in front of me and cars piling up behind me, I get over. It’s the right thing to do, and in some states, like California, the law.

            I go with the flow of traffic. That’s the statistically safest thing to do, not to play games when operating a 4,000 lb vehicle.

          6. 8:04 and 8:15 – you are the reason people get killed. Get over yourselves and start off the roads if you can’t be civil. You have no right to put others at risk driving like banshees out of hell.

    13. In some cities people know how to merge and in other cities they just don’t.

      1. another thing that’s inconsistently regulated. The zipper is the law in some states, but merge as soon as you can is the law in others, which makes no sense.

        1. There’s a zipper merge on the major street in my neighborhood. There’s always someone (usually a man) who has made it his life’s mission not to let anyone merge.

          Today, though, it was a woman in a big SUV who wouldn’t let traffic merge in front of her, then she turned left a block later. Like wow, you got there so much sooner than the three cars behind you. Come on now.

  4. I am supposed to meet one of my close friends to talk tonight, and I really don’t want to. We haven’t spoken in a couple of weeks because of something that is both very silly but also kind of substantial. She was very passive aggressive/rude to me out of nowhere in order to side with our other friend who was very out of line and trying to bully me. I felt the whole thing was immature and made me feel interpersonally stressed in a way I haven’t felt in years. I’ve already decided to cut ties with the bully friend. I feel this other friend being passive aggressive to me doesn’t seem like a good reason to cut ties with her as well, but the idea of having a conversation to rehash it all makes me stressed and annoyed and I feel like I’d prefer to just never talk again rather than have this ‘talk.’ What would you do in my shoes?

    1. She must not be a very good friend if you’re ready to throw away the whole friendship because you temporarily feel moderately uncomfortable.

    2. It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to talk (and maybe that you won’t be). Be transparent, direct, and gentle: “I’m just not up for a conversation about this issue yet. I need more time.”

      It might be tempting to say something less direct, but in the spirit of not being passive -aggressive, just say what you mean.

    3. I would have the talk because it doesn’t seem like this person is super important to you so I’d rather just smooth it over and ride things out, whether that means resuming the friendship or just being cordial in the future. I prefer to just make things nice if I’m not super invested for some reason, which is rarely true in a friendship.

    4. “close friends” are really hard to come by and people have bad days and take it out in the wrong way sometimes…. so maybe consider accepting an apology and moving on?

    5. Are you sure she wants to rehash this? If I had been letting high school-level drama cool off for a couple weeks, I’d expect us to both have managed our own feelings on our own time and just pick up where we left off.

      1. Well she said, “we should talk,” so the hangout tonight is ostensibly “to talk.” I’d feel like I could get out of rehashing it if she’d just asked to meet and catch up.

          1. Knowing her, she typically tries to argue with my feelings and tell me my tolerance for meanness is too low. Previous example was I said, “I was hurt she yelled at me” and her response was “Her yelling at you does not make her a bad person! I take offense at you saying that.”

          2. She sounds nuts. Stop putting any of your energy into this friendship. There’s nothing here for you.

    6. Just throwing this out there–but really try to step back from the situation. Sometimes we perceive others as “siding” with a bully when it really may be someone stepping in to try to neutralize the situation or calm the bully down. I don’t know how many times I have stepped in it by starting to calmly talk to someone about their view and then explaining why it might be seen as aggressive but never actually get to that explanation part because I get cut off. I’ve given up on trying to mediate or calm folks now when two people are going at it. Or sometimes someone will perceive that you are “choosing” someone else’s “side” when really they are just agreeing to some of the points. Trying to diffuse a situation or to admit when one party has made a valid point or two doesn’t make someone a bad friend. As I’ve gotten older and more experienced in life, I recognize that things are rarely black and white, and most folks aren’t truly “with you or against you” in every conversation (though would still have your back when it is really needed). Expecting blind allegiance isn’t always fair or practical. That you still want to punish this secondary person says maybe you’re not in the headspace to talk it out yet.

    7. I don’t have these conversations. I usually find people know when they acted badly and will find a million ways to justify it.

      Not worth my time. I just accept that friendship is just a little bit sh**tier.

  5. i hurt my knee and per doctor’s orders basically cant do any extra cardio exercise for the next two weeks. i like to go on long walks for my sanity + this time of year the weather is gorgeous where i live. any suggestions on how to get those same endorphins?

    1. Two options –

      If it’s the physical movement you’re missing, don’t sleep on swimming! It’s really the best.

      If it’s the looking at nature piece, is there a train or ferry near you? Watching scenery go by out a train window or off a ferry deck for an hour or two gives me the exact same vibe as hiking (minus the physical exertion).

    3. If you’re looking for “bask in spring” endorphins (vs exercise endorphins), I like to take a book outside and read under a tree when the weather is nice.

    5. Are you doing Physical Therapy? If so, you can probably warm up there on one of the upper body machines. There is usually one that’s like a bicycle for your arms.

  6. If a group of guys is going on a bachelor trip, and is saying they ‘can’t wait to be degenerate,’ what would you take this to mean?

    1. Are you the same OP whose partner is going on a bachelor party trip with a bunch of disgusting dudes to Mexico? You need to sit down and have a talk with him about your concerns.

      Degenerate could mean strip clubs, sex workers, drugs, extreme amounts of alcohol…but we can’t read your boyfriend’s mind and tell you the future. Talk to him.

      1. No I’m not that OP – not sure what post that was but this would be a trip to Montreal.

        1. Just FYI there’s a lot of seedy behaviour in Montreal. Also are you Canadian? Degen as slang has a different connotation.

          1. Oh this is good to know! What kind of seedy behavior is in Montreal?

            My boyfriend and I are both from China originally. We have been here since we were 18, but neither of us had heard this term in this context before.

        3. As a Montrealer, yes, if you want to “be degenerate”, there are plenty of opportunities here. Also, I would seriously side-eye my SO for using that language unless the context made it very clear it was a joke and even then I think it’s kind of gross. But anyway, could mean just drinking with the bros, clubbing, strippers, or the famous “massage” parlours we have around town. If this was my SO I would have a serious talk about expectations. If this is just a group of guys you know, then let them be unless they otherwise are gross, in which case find better friends.

          2. During the Prohibition, it was known as the “City of Sin” and that reputation has stayed with it. There is a specific kind of person who comes to Montreal for the seedy/sinful aspect of it. I think we have a higher number of strip clubs and gross massage parlours than other cities of a similar size. Lots of people come to Montreal for other reasons and don’t seek those things out (and as someone who lives here, I have never been to either), but there are some people who focus their trip around that, particularly for bachelor trips, and there are plenty of opportunities if that’s what you are looking for. A bit like Amsterdam maybe?

    2. OMG talk to your freaking boyfriend already. Nobody here can tell you what a specific group of men is going to do, no matter how many times you ask. Do you think we all have crystal balls?

      1. I haven’t posted previously about this. FWIW, my boyfriend and I are the ones curious. He doesn’t want to go on a trip if it’s going to be wild, but isn’t sure what ‘degenerate’ would mean in this context (if just drinking heavily or doing something else).

          1. I think they will call him a FOB if he asks “What do you mean by degenerate?” They’ve been saying it in good fun and my boyfriend doesn’t want to come across as a goody two shoes or as ESL.

          2. He doesn’t have to say the question that literally. He can just ask, what kind of stuff are we planning to get into, what’s the plan, where will we be going. Honestly if he doesn’t want to go, he should just not go.

    3. It can mean anything from hookers and blow to playing beer pong, eating wings, and watching sports in their basketball shorts.

      You either trust your significant other or you do not. If you do, then stop obsessing over what he does with his friends. If you do not, then break up with him.

      1. I’m not obsessing – I trust him. We are both not from the U.S. though and we weren’t sure what the word would mean in this context. Boyfriend doesn’t want to go if it is too wild or if the activities are things he’d choose to opt out of anyway.

    4. My friends and I usually use it when we’re acting like we did in our 20s: staying up late and drinking too much and being fools (harmless but fools).

      1. Thank you! This is so helpful. I wrote above, but my boyfriend and I are immigrants and not native English speakers. We wanted to know what it would mean in a colloquial context, especially for a trip like this. Boyfriend is happy to go if it’s just drinking and being silly, but doesn’t want to go if something “immoral” (as is the online definition) would be taking place.

        1. Men use bachelor parties as an excuse to act in the worst way possible. So yes, there will most likely be “immoral” behaviour. Heavy drinking leads to inappropriate behaviour.

          1. Some men do. Some don’t. OP, is there another guy going on the trip your bf can ask off-the-record about plans? and if not, I’d recommend he decide based on what he knows of the groom and the groom’s relationship with his fiance. Does he treat her with respect? Talk about her as a full human person? Is he generally a decent husband being? The more yesses; the more likely “degenerate” is a joke/slang

        2. How is this helpful to you? The person you’re replying to isn’t going to be on this trip.

          1. I am just asking what this word means when used as slang. Any context on what the phrase means when used colloquially is helpful.

            I don’t think my boyfriend would feel comfortable saying “what do you mean by being degenerate?” to the group, as it would spoil the fun. It is helpful to have context from others as to what that might mean, as there is a negative social consequence to not ‘getting it’ the way that native speakers do.

        3. I called a nearby Walgreens “the degenerate Walgreens” the other morning after killing time before picking up my husband from physical therapy. I relayed how in the check out line, the guy in front of me had a bottle of gatorade and a bottle of vodka, the guy in front of him had a Pepto bottle and a case of beer and my normal healthy-ish eating self was grabbing a Diet Coke and potato chips for breakfast. It really can run the gamut! LOL.

      2. Was going to say this: I know some very wholesome people who would say it kind of tongue in cheek, like “we’re going on a hike and then we’re grilling expensive steaks” or “we’re having an ice cream sundae bar and binge watching childhood cartoons” — like “YOLO” meant 10 years ago. I wouldn’t worry about those guys suddenly meaning they actually intend to be ***holes in public and cheat on their partners. Guys who are like that are like that regardless of what word they use.

        1. Those activities sound so fun! I would love to be invited to a degenerate party if we are eating ice cream and watching cartoons. Thank you so much for the context of how it’s used as slang.

          1. Yeah if I decide to have a “couch rot” (sometimes due to a hangover sometimes just because) day I’ll say I’m being a degenerate.

            I’d also probably refer to whatever social outing that gave me the hangover as degenerate behavior.

            Bachlorette parties in my circle are chill: usually a beach weekend with some casual day drinking on the beach and breweries or wineries during the days, one night out, and the other night a wine night at home, but because it’s probably more than I drink during a weekend at home I’d call it degenerate.

            I normally do 1-2 happy hours during a week and have 1-2 social plans on a weekend. When I do more than that, I’d call it degenerate.

            A weeknight when I go to happy hour and have more than 2 drinks? Degenerate. Staying out late on a week night? Degenerate.

            Getting tipsy on a weekend? Degenerate.

            Basically if I have more than 10 drinks a week, I stay out late, or I get tipsy I jokingly call it degenerate behavior.

    5. lol I tell people I’m being degenerate every weekend just to keep them on their toes (note: I am pregnant and 38)

      it’s aspirational and jokey. unless we’re talking real real nasty: international/underage hookers and meth or something.

    6. For my DH this would mean staying up late drinking too much. Probably also day drinking (you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning!) while golfing or something.

      1. Yup. This is what it means in my circles too: day drinking, staying up late, drinking more than normal.

      2. +1. And I would assume he’s eating a bunch of greasy food. Nothing illegal or unsavory, just generally irresponsible choices that will result in a terrible hangover.

    8. IME, on bachelor(ette) parties people don’t act terribly different than they do on a big night out or than they did when they were younger.

      Whether thats drinking, drug use, strippers, being jerks, etc.

      My group is probably wild by this board’s standards but not wild by our college’s standards, but I’ve also been on bachelorettes with many different groups of people and no one really deviates.

      My guy friends’ bachelor parties are usually golf, city, or ski trips and it involves lots of drinking and some guys doing drugs, if in a city some clubbing, but no strip clubs.

      For the girls it’s usually beach or city and involves day drinking outside, one night out, and drinking at the house.

      It might be turned up a notch or two (but frequently isn’t); people don’t become different people on one weekend.

  7. The question yesterday got me thinking about this – how many days or weeks per year do you see your parents or inlaws, assuming you aren’t local to where you can just stop by for an hour on Saturday or whatever. What’s considered normal when families are in different metro areas or across the country and even across the world? And how do you balance using your vacation time for visiting parents or inlaws versus taking actual vacations?

    1. I live an hour from my parents and see them every weekend, for usually around 6-8 hours at a time. I stay with them for a week or so for various holidays or will go stay for a weekend if there’s a family event. We are super close.

      DH lives around the world from his parents and ensures he sees them for 4 months or so of the year. His mother stays with us for 3 months a year and he visits his home country for at least one 6 week trip a year. His parents are wonderful and he is also extremely close with them.

    2. local parents (hour away) – about once a month for half a day (like we have lunch and hang out for a bit)
      distant parents (flight away) – about twice a year, usually one 4-day weekend and, during their FL snowbird time, a week there. But we work remotely most days when visiting so use minimal PTO and just hang out at night, which they are cool with.

    3. We usually see my mother once a year. She comes to us for 4-5 days at a holiday. We don’t visit her because she likes a chance to get away and her living situation would make it awkward for us to visit her. This past year she came for two extra long weekends to see our daughter star in the high school play and then for graduation, which was really nice.

      My ideal would be to have her for a full week at Thanksgiving or Christmas, when we’d take off of work, and for another full week in the summer when my husband and I would take off maybe two days and she could spend the rest of the time with kiddo who would be on the break between her summer camp job and fall dorm move-in. But she’s an extreme introvert and a week is too much for her, and the trip is hard to make because it’s a long drive but flying actually takes longer.

    4. My parents find hosting very stressful and have a small house, so I would honestly like to see them more, but it’s just a touch too long of a drive for a day trip (3 hours one way, we have a toddler) We typically see each other 4-5 times a year, but just weekends or holidays not taking vacation. Shorter more frequent visits are my preference, given personalities, not as some sort of universal truth.

    5. My parents are local, but my other half’s parents are divorced, so I have two sets of in-laws who don’t live in our city. One is a six hour flight away and we see them maybe once a year, and then generally it’s around a big event (milestone birthday, family wedding, etc.). If we are going to make the trek out there we go for 4-5 days. The other set (MIL) is about a 2 hour drive away, but she and I don’t get along so we aren’t exactly eager to go visit. My husband spends a few days with her at Christmas and we will have brunch or dinner with her when she visits our city 5-6 times a year. We don’t have kids so there is no grandparent-grandchild connection to drive seeing folks any more often. My husband talks to his parents maybe once a month.

    6. We live a flight away (both in US, but different time zones. Like a 3/4 hour flight) from my dad and in-laws. We usually see each set 5-6 times a year. I’d imagine if we could drive less than 5 hours it would be more frequent bc there are other family events I’d love to attend.

    7. Depends on the relationship. I’m close to my mom and she lives alone and I’m an only chlid, so I visit her about once a month. I work remotely, so I just set up shop up there for a week. We’re moving to be closer to her later this year.

      My husband sees his family once a year, if that. They’re kind, just very different than we are. Visits are almost always a production involving a holiday and vacation time.

      We really only take one vacation a year (5-6 days of vacation days), so adding parents in there isn’t too much of an issue.

    8. My parents live on another continent, so we take two weeks a year to visit them. Fortunately they live in a nice place to visit and my husband likes them and enjoys going there (this was a big concern of mine when dating TBH). They also come to visit us or will meet up with us for a stateside trip once a year. They are still young but I worry this will get harder when they age. My in-laws are local so we see a lot of them. I like my in-laws but am a little sad that my kids aren’t as close with my parents, even though I’m the one who moved away so it’s technically my fault), which is why I make a big effort to spend time with them at the expense of other vacations I would like to take.

    9. I’m ~40 mins driving / 20 mins train away and I see mine ~3x a month. Usually for Sunday dinner or an NFL game. We have larger family events (extended family) every other month that I also see them at. If I’m drinking or it’s late I’ll sleep over in my childhood bedroom.

      We share a vacation condo, so I see them much more in the summer (~8 long weekends and 1-2 full weeks).

      Sometimes we do non-Sunday dinner things too: go to a college basketball game, they’ll come into the city and we’ll grab a drink, we’ll go hiking together.

      I also have a childfree aunt and uncle with whom I’m very close. I live about an hour away and see them most weeks (they’re retired so have much for flexibility so they come to visit me about half of the time). I work shift work (nurse schedule) so I’ll go see them on a midweek off day, which I can’t do with my parents who both still work full time.

    10. I see my mom and step-father who are local at least once a week.

      Father and stepmother who lived six to seven hours away (4 hour flight + drive)? I visited once a year for a week or so for decades until Dad got sick and then I was basically there every month for 3-4 days for a year and then every weekend for another month until he died.

      Before he got sick I tried to time my visits for holiday weekends (4th of July most often) to cut down on the number of days I had to take off but those visits ate half to a third of my vacation time. We would also meet up in Vegas for a weekend every year or so before the pandemic since I live a short plane ride away and he loved Vegas. Dad would have liked me to come more but I drew a pretty hard line in the sand on how planes went both ways and he could come visit me.

      It was rough for a lot of reasons, including that he lived in the middle of nowhere and we had basically nothing in common. But there were a lot of outdoor activities in summer, my daughter loved hanging out with him and her cousins when she was little, and now that he is gone I am glad I made the effort.

    11. One thing that stuck out to me about yesterdays conversation was that it was very focused on elder care and less focused on the fact that our parents are old, they won’t be here forever and it’s nice to have some quality time together while we can

      1. Yes. You want to go for a walk with your parent and just talk? That window will close long before elder care is a thing.

        1. This. I moved home at 24 because I realized in my 6 years away I was only seeing family for “big” events. I missed spending the day to day together.

      2. That time comes up way, way too fast. My mom lives alone and does well for herself (goes to the gym, drives, is active with book clubs and other social groups, etc.), but I kick myself all the time that I didn’t take more time to travel with her. Even just doing local outings is hard now. She doesn’t have the stamina like she used to. Visiting the botanic garden or popping around the local shops at the nearby vacation town just isn’t in the cards anymore. I’m grateful we live within a couple of hours so I can drive out there. Her driving my way is a much bigger deal since she wants to be home before dark. I can’t fathom her navigating an airport anymore. A lot of the advice yesterday to just have the parent come visit or move wasn’t very practical if you’re talking a senior who has their whole life in another area and is going to be dealing with the aches and pains and energy loss that generally come with aging at some point.

    12. We recently moved to my hometown after being on the other side of the country for 20 years and seeing my family roughly once a year (with a big pandemic gap). I now see my parents a few times a month, usually for a few hours, though sometimes more frequently. Spouse’s parents are divorced, still live far away from us and each other and major airports in places that he never lived and aren’t fun to visit, so we see each of them every 1-3 years. I have a disability that makes travel not super fun, so I’ve told him he’s welcome to visit them more often on his own, but he doesn’t seem interested in seeing more of them and I have no interest in any more travel than is absolutely necessary, so we mostly let them come to us or meet in other places.

    13. I live 3 hours away from my mom and see her in person maybe 3 or 4 times a year. But we both have very busy after-work schedules and do talk frequently, either by text or phone calls, though neither of us are super chatty people. A lot of our visits are around the after-work stuff (she plays for a small local symphony, so I try to go up to see her performances when my schedule lets me).

      I live 4-5 hours away from my father and haven’t seen him in person since August 2020, and text with him maybe 3 or 4 times a year. We are not close and were not even when I lived about an hour away.

    14. I don’t think there is a “normal” here because there afe so many variables.
      My parents live on the opposite coast. We see them 3-4 times a year, usually with them traveling to see us because they are retired and their time is more flexible. They also don’t live somewhere super easy to visit- small house, lots of traffic. Also they don’t have internet (by choice) Which isn’t a deal breaker, but is limiting.

    15. We facetime for 1/2 hour every Sunday morning and get together about once a month. We are an hour apart.

  8. In house legal people: how do you deal with completely unrealistic expectations/people who don’t respect what you do? I work at a large international company. Every single contract is supposed to get legal sign-off. I was assigned to work on a contract which, for various reasons, took a while to get to me. So, through no fault of my own, stakeholder was already irritated by the time I got the contract (even though they filled out the form incorrectly so it was first sent to Europe, then back to me when someone realized this should be a US thing). Important Stakeholder was like “oh well never mind, [Very Important Stakeholder Not in Legal] has signed off on this, we are sending it to the client, don’t review”. Ok, but you didn’t actually get legal sign-off? I feel like I am constantly in CYA mode, this was a super complicated contract and a brief review tells me it’s not good and I don’t want my name associated with it. Another stakeholder sent me a terrible MSA from our client and seems to think it’s going to get signed today, and I’m like bro, this will take weeks and multiple iterations, I’m not just a paper pusher, chill out. My legal senior leadership is great and have my back, but dealing with non-legal people who are either delusional or plain disrespectful is getting me down. How is it at your company?

    1. I think this is typical. Unfortunately your role, while incredibly important, is going to slow things down and require additional time/attention. For people in roles like sales or operations, who want to get things done, your review is going to feel like a hoop to jump through. It doesn’t mean it’s not important and you aren’t doing anything wrong. Just that a VP of Operations or sales leader isn’t going to be equipped to value your contributions the way others on the legal team are able to.

    2. Repeat after me: Legal does not get to decide what risks the business sides gets to take; our job is only to be sure they understand the risks they are taking. You can tell them that the contract has troublesome provisions. You cannot tell them not to sign it. You can tell them that the contract needs revision. You cannot make them revise it.

      In order to be successful in-house you really have to take on an attitude that legal exists to serve the business side and (assuming they are not doing something actually illegal) you do not get to drive business decisions.

      1. I am not a lawyer, but worked in cyber security 3rd party risk for years. Same thing… we can tell people til we’re blue in the face what a potential nightmare they’re setting the company up for by engaging with [small startup with f-all cybersecurity controls] and connecting an untested app to servers full of customer data… but we can’t actually tell them not to do it. I feel your frustration, but sometimes the business makes baffling risk-acceptance decisions in the name of expediency. Usually if we escalated to a VP+ who understood the business impact of the risk, they’d slow their roll, but lower levels were more interested in wrapping things up quickly so they could show off a shiny new software integration.

    3. I’m not in your industry, but I am in an industry with strict legal & compliance requirements.

      I manage a team of training developers and I just want to say to you and all other in house lawyers–thank you. Thank you for reviewing the hundreds of course we write each year.

      My #lifegoal is to never be named in a class action lawsuit b/c of work and you guys are what helps me with that one

    4. 1. It helps to have clearly communicated SLAs and, by implication, deadlines. For example, a MSA might take a week for Legal to review, so if you want it signed by the 31st, it needs to be in by the 24th.

      2. Understand which divisions are able to sign off on which types of risk. In many companies, there is a clear delineation between business risk and legal risk. Legal can put the brakes on legal risk (eg., FCPA, compliance issues, etc.), and business can approve business risk (payment structure, limitation of liability, etc.). Things like IP protection can go either way.

      Notably, sales usually has little to no say, except for the actual dollar amount of the deal. Their department doesn’t bear risk if the thing goes sideways, either monetarily or legally. Understanding that the department whose butts are on the line are the ultimate approves/rejected really helps.

      3. Counsel on risk and CYA. Send an email documenting your problems. You can always say “with more time to negotiate this, I would suggest X” or you can suggest, eg., a shorter term for the contract, using a MOU or a battle of the forms via Purchase Orders while it’s being negotiated, etc. Have those tools in your back pocket.

    5. I’m a business stakeholder who sends contracts, assets, etc. through our legal team’s service desk in a large, global company.

      Things that have helped reduce frustration:

      Proactive education from the legal team about potential issues, with real-world examples from either us or our competitors. More than half of our workforce sits in the US, but most of our work gets distributed internationally. Telling us about lawsuits in other countries, IP disputes and settlements, loopholes and consequences, etc. helps us see them as experts, not paper pushers.

      Having some templates also helps. If it’s a vendor renewal, for example, then we just need to be able to confirm that there’s no changes to the original agreement and/or no changes to the laws that might make contract updates necessary. That can go through an expedited review vs. something net-new.

      Clearly-labelled service request options and/or easy-to-follow process. The fact that the person filled out the form for Europe and not the US means there’s probably some issue with the service desk. Our literally has drop-downs for the region where the requestor sits, region(s) where the action or item will be carried out, confirming it’s not relevant to countries where we’re not allowed to do business at all, etc.

  9. The New Yorker’s art critic got fired for his behavior at their big 100th anniversary party and I am dying to know what exactly he did.

      1. Yes! The only little bit of gossip I’ve been able to find was on a redd*t post that implied it was a regular behavior pattern for him.

  10. Trying to eat a bit healthier these days. Less processed food – more “real food”.

    What is your favorite minimally processed chocolate treat? Cracker?

    It is too much work, and too risky, for me to make homemade chocolate treats (eg. cookie/brownie/whatever) or crackers myself, as I would just eat them quickly since they are so good. But I can be disciplined to put store bought things like cookies in the freezer, and just eat one.

      1. Someone once talked about how they get a spoonful of peanut butter and then dip it into chocolate chips and eat that and it’s one of my favorite post-dinner snacks.

        1. These are great simple ideas. Thanks.

          I am not a big fan of peanut butter cups, but somehow these sounds better…

          1. Peanut butter on Oreos is my treat. Not quite what you’re looking for, but vegan?

      1. Chocolate covered? That is my absolute favorite chocolate treat. If I could have one chocolate covered strawberry a night, that would be perfect.

        I eat a lot of fruit – mostly berries, citrus, apples.

        My weight/body is fine, and I am not afraid of a little chocolate every day. But “one square of dark chocolate” is a little too blah.

        2. Tru fru is a company that sells frozen chocolate covered fruit. They have chocolate covered strawberries and several other fruits. You can eat them directly from the freezer but it’s best letting it sit on the counter for 10 minutes or so.

          2. I’ve had the chocolate covered frozen cherries. As someone who hates fruit, I love these.

          3. +1!! The dark chocolate raspberry ones are my fav. I have seen strawberry one at my local Costco before (much better deal)

    3. A square of high quality dark chocolate or berries with cocoa powder.

      Pretty much all crackers are processed but a whole wheat version at least has some nutrition. Pair the crackers with protein and fiber (cheese plus fruit or olives, hummus, nut butter…)

      1. Thanks. Yes, that is what I want a few crackers for. Just curious if anyone had a preferred (and tasty) brand.

        My cousin once showed me a brand a Trader Joe’s that used to be great – really good ingredient list and tasty. It isn’t there anymore. She had learned about it from her breast cancer group.

      1. Great ideas.

        Yasso bars look amazing, but their ingredient list looks long. Still hoping for shorter if possible. That means more than calories

    5. Chocolate: A small handful of chocolate chips; apple sliced dipped in said melted chocolate; frozen chocolate-dipped bananas (easy to make & keep in the freezer)

      Non-chocolate treats: popcorn! Not microwave popcorn, but made on the stovetop.

      1. Popcorn is my fav now when I crave salty. I make it on the stove top in olive oil. Thanks for the recs.

    6. Triscuits are one of the least processed crackers apparently ( have a very short ingredient list) and are great

      1. +1 for Triscuits, they come in some really tasty flavors now.

        I have liked every Trader Joe’s cracker I’ve ever tried (garlic naan and everything bagel are my favorites); I think most of them are not whole grain, but the deliciousness bar is high to get things on their shelves so I’d feel good about buying a box of anything that had healthy ingredients.

    7. Look for Finnish or Swedish rye sourdough crispbreads for your crackers.
      You could also bake traditional one-ingredient corn tortillas.

    9. Don’t bother with store-bought—put the homemade treats in the freezer! We are empty nesters and my husband doesn’t eat sweets, so occasionally I will make a batch of cookie dough, bake a dozen cookies, and freeze the rest of the dough in balls to bake later. Or I’ll make a pan of brownies, cut it into squares, and freeze most of the squares.

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