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Is the weekend you different than the workday you? We've talked about when to show personality at the office, but not how to find your weekend style personality. One of the things that I've been thinking about lately is Elsa Klensch, the CNN style correspondent from the '90s. To be more specific, I've been thinking about her book Style (affiliate link) and how in it, she advises readers to separate their work style from their personal style. Here's what Elsa wrote:
Many successful businesswomen I know tap into their private visions of themselves and express that inner being in their weekend wear. It makes them feel more feminine, and enables them to have a healthier outlook when it comes to work. In my private life, I'm a wife — not a television personality. On weekends, I want to be softer, more romantic. My fantasy in the summer is to look as though I just stepped out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel wearing Gatsby-style long skirts and gently flowing chiffon scarves. It's a side of me I can't show the world during the week because of my job, but I can live it during the weekend. … I don't spend a lot of money indulging my fantasies. I just collect things along the way. Not everything I have works on the job, but a lot of pieces will.”
I've thought of this through the years, imagining Elsa gallivanting off on some huge estate in long flowy skirts, and wondering what other business women look like during their off hours.
When I went through my last style transformation a few years ago (after losing a lot of weight) I decided I wanted to look a bit like Angelina Jolie in my down time — motorcycle boots, jeans, black t-shirts, tough bags (hence my love of Botkier), whereas on my evenings out on the town I always tried to channel Sophia Loren, classy but still va-va-va-voom.
And I must say, I liked having a pre-conceived notion of what I wanted to look like before I went into a store, or opened up my browser window. It helped me edit what I bought, and kept my off-hours wardrobe looking consistent and put together.
{related: how to cultivate style}
Readers, does the weekend you have a different wardrobe? Do you step into an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel when the clock strikes 6 on Friday night? Do you try to dress more feminine on the weekend, or go for a “tough girl chic” like Kat? How did you cultivate your weekend style?
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MissJackson
I kind of like the idea of this, but my weekend wear = yoga pants and tshirts.
Also, I feel like the “real me” likes pencil skirts, silk blouses, and sheath dresses. So I’m not sure how on earth I would separate this from the “work me”.
K
I know what you mean! I like pencil skirts and blouses, but for the weekend, it’s a bit much if I’m just watching TV or going grocery shopping.
K
I disagree. I have found a couple of straight skirts in denim and ponte knit that I wear absolutely everywhere with runners and t-shirts on the weekends. You can be comfortable and stylish at the park or grocery store in a way that still reflects the real you. I don’t see any reason why my inner femmebot and inner nerd can’t get together on the weekends.
CW
I agree – my work wear generally reflects the “real me” albeit maybe a tad more conservative in cut/print than my personal preference. I have been trying to branch out by purchasing more “fun” tops for the winter.
I have friends that have wildly different professional and personal wardrobes – it seems overwhelming to me!
Anon
I just cant afford a “work me” and a “weekend me”. Weekend me gets the short end of the stick.
Ashley
Same here. Besides, chasing a toddler around sort of negates the need for glam outfits.
Cats Ahoy!
Agreed. I’ve got one pair of jeans, because, why bother?
karenpadi
I love wearing dresses on the weekends/after work. Sun dresses, maxi dresses, casual dresses. Usually with my denim jacket.
I have short hair and dress pretty blah (I can’t match pants and a shirt to save my life so I clash if I stray out of my “uniform”) at the office so my dresses are pretty brightly colored and not strictly “office appropriate”. For example, they may be low-cut or have a short skirt–not skin tight or super scandalous). Many of my dresses are BCBG or Maxstudio.
Formerly Preggo Angie
With a toddler and an infant at home, on the weekends I like to channel someone who’s taken a shower and washed her hair.
PHX
Word. :)
mamabear
ha! I remember those days. :)
Diana Barry
Right there with you, mama! Dry shampoo is a good friend of mine. :) I find a good shortcut to be washing my hair and face in the kitchen sink. You feel cleaner since your hair/face is clean, and you don’t have to be away from the kiddos, they can be playing in a corner of the kitchen.
TheOtherCoast
Wow, this is a revelation. Seriously.
mamabear
huh, my mom ALWAYS washed her hair in the kitchen sink. I have strong memories of the bottle of Breck always being in the under-sink cabinet.
I wonder if this is why.
B
With a 9-month old and another on the way, I wholeheartedly agree! If I am going to be around others and need to look at least a little put together, I go for really casual dresses that I can just throw on with flip flops and not have to think about.
Anonymous
Completely agree. It comes down to sleep – I can look nicer, but the extra 10 minutes of sleep is more precious.
Research, Not Law
Thank you
Erin
The “real” me likes polished, preppy looks and hates having to dress down on the weekend (much like MissJackson). The “actual” me wears gym clothes all weekend because I’m not going to bother to change after my workout just to sit on the couch watching football. When I actually go out on the weekend, I wear jeans or a sundress, depending on the weather, but I don’t love it. I much prefer getting dressed for work, and I hate casual Fridays.
KE
This is me! Even though I wear yoga pants and my jog bra all day long on Saturday, the “real” me is straight from the J Crew catalog. To that end, J Crew has something called “weekend pants” right now – a step up from leggings, but not quite pants. I bought them and they are great. They dress up a t-shirt somewhat, and with ballet flats and maybe a button down you look kinda almost presentable.
I’d much rather get dressed for work than have to figure out what to wear to, say, the movies on Saturday. (OK, jeans, but then what on top?) I always feel awkward and dorky on weekends – much prefer my Theory pants and blouses and heels.
Erin
I will have to check those out – thanks! I like Old Navy jeans because they’re fairly stretchy and comfortable. They’re my usual weekend staple. People where I live tend to dress up a bit more and I can’t really wear leggings anywhere besides the grocery store.
Anonymous
So… wear what you like. Just because others wear jeans, doesn’t mean you have to. I say JCrew can be perfectly fine for brunch or grocery shopping. If you look at their catalog, a lot of the women look like they are dressed for hanging out, not for an office. If you feel too dressed up, play with the accesories and shoes. You see plenty of men out there wearing khacky’s and buttondowns on the weekend. Why can’t women do the same? How often do you see Jackie O or the duchess of cambridge wearing shorts, or even jeans? I say it’s all about feeling comfortable.
E
I hate casual Fridays too!
mamabear
My weekend personna is a mom, so the main difference is that everything is washable! I don’t do the yoga pants and tee thing – not that there’s anything wrong with it, but I don’t feel my best in that look. My typical weekend ensemble is a cotton or denim knee-length skirt, a tee plus a cardigan, worn with flats or wedge sandals.
I’m in a bit of a rut with it, to tell you the truth, but with autumn on its way, the change-up to wearing tights and boots and scarves with the above will keep it new for a while.
Holly
My real self likes to wear tank tops, jeans and boots, plus handmade or ethnic jewelry. In the summer, I’m usually covered in dirt, too, because I’m an avid gardener and spend all my free time working in my yard. If I never had to see a pencil skirt or a suit again, I’d be a happy woman. Too bad I’m a lawyer. lol
Miriam
Same! I come to school in ripped jeans and a tank while everyone else wears the button downs with the sweater over it. My style is much more relaxed.
Holly
Yeah, I read this blog because I feel like I should start dressing like a real, professional grown-up one of these days, but I’ve been out in the workforce for over a decade already and I just don’t see it happening. I know the rules and I reluctantly force myself into professional attire when necessary, but I sure look forward to the weekends. I thought I could find a professional style that would reflect the real me, but it’s simply out of my price range. I’d rather spend what little extra money I have on things I really love, like a new pair of gorgeous black leather motorcycle boots to wear over skinny jeans this fall. ;)
Miriam
It is so much more fun to spend money on ‘real’ clothes rather than work attire! I’m still in school so I have a few more months, but seeing my classmates makes me think I need to change my wardrobe. Plus finding work clothes that don’t make me look like I’m a 12 year old trying on my mother’s clothes or a 60 year old is impossible! I’m 26.
Still runnin'
I love this thread.
On the weekdays, I wear lot of pencil skirts, pumps, dress slacks, jewel tone shirts and sweaters. My pants, skirts, and sheath dresses are mostly black, charcoal, gray, navy and more black. I wear pearls and my two-toned Concord watch.
On the weekends, my feminine side, and love of sparkle and the tropics come out. I wear camel colored shoes and accessories, and ivory and bright colors (a lot of pinks, corals, and yellows). I wear more diamonds and a lot of capri jeans, tees and tanks and platform wedge high heeled sandals until it becomes impossibly cold outside. Then, it’s all about the skinny jeans inside the high heeled boots and soft sweaters like this one in ivory.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-kimono-sleeve-cardigan/3167952?origin=stylenumsearch
Diana Barry
I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of person on the weekend. BUT – I have been trying to wear more perfume lately, which makes me feel more dressed-up even if I am just wearing a t-shirt. I do love to get dressed up to go out with my husband if we have a babysitter, but usually that ends with me nagging him to put on a collared shirt so I don’t look too dressed up while he is wearing a statement t-shirt.
After watching a lot of “what not to wear”, I do try not to wear my orange fleece pants or my yoga pants out to the grocery store. :)
JJ
Ha! What Not to Wear has scarred me. Sometimes I just can’t help it and end up wearing yoga pants and a tshirt to the grocery store (because if I’m going immediately after I wake up to beat the rush, I’m not dressing up), but I inconceivably worry that some day I’m going to end up on the couch with Stacy and Clinton, justifying my fashion choice.
I’ve always been a “jeans and t-shirt” person on the weekends, but have made a conscious effort to change from loose, “comfortable” baggy jeans and an old college tee to boot cut or skinny jeans with a simple colored v-neck tee. Add a necklace and I feel much more put together with the same time commitment to getting ready.
s-p-s
Fun thread! My “work” and “outside-work” selves both love belted A-line dresses and heels – but outside the office, with a deeper neckline, dangly earrings, and hair in Veronica Lake waves versus a librarian bun :) And when lounging, a wrap robe and fuzzy slippers.
tk1
Weekends I am all about jeans and a fitted ted or sweater. Simple, but put together. I honestly feel silly wearing skirts and dresses unless i’m going somewhere that requires dressing up. For work I an usually in dress pants or the occasional skirt with a nice blouse or shell. But I feel like either way I am still the real me, just dressed appropriately for where I am at the time.
KLK
Little deviation – as I read “In my private life, I’m a wife — not a television personality.” I and wonder HOW MANY prominent MEN will say that in private lives they are HUSBANDS, not golfers, travelers, car-aficionados.
Esquirette
Word.
CW
So true.
Jas
So true. Maybe it’s because I’m not a wife, but I can’t imagine thinking of that as my defining characteristic, personally.
GRA
Yes – so true!
mamabear
So my response, before I read this, was “I’m a mom.” Is that different?
for what it’s worth, I think my husband would describe his off-work personna as a Dad, among other things, but probably first.
Jas
Where clothing is concerned, I do think it’s different, actually. Being a mom of small children implies activities that influence and limit clothing choices. Being married doesn’t really do that, or at least I don’t believe it should. I might think it was weird if you were the mother of teenagers and felt that your motherhood was the main thing guiding your clothing choices, though.
anon
yes, different, if only because being a mom to young children is so all-consuming .. and being a wife is generally not *quite* as all-consuming ..? (generalizing, but husbands should be grownups?!)
i can see how the mom identity (necessarily, if temporarily) competes with or takes over other identities (runner/traveler/kickboxer) but hopefully just getting married, pre-kids, wouldn’t have quite that dramatic an impact. but different strokes for different folks.
Anon Right Now
I am not a mom or a wife, and I hope this doesn’t come accross the wrong way, and who knows maybe I will change my mind in the future and think I was naive or dumb to think this, but —
it always digs at me a bit to hear someone describe themselves as just a wife or just a mom, although I do agree that between the two, there is a difference.
We are so multifaceted. Even if you have small kids who require you to run after them all day, isn’t there more to who you are? Maybe a bit of the edgy punk teen you used to be? Or the sexy vixen you can be when the mood strikes? Or, the really savvy businesswoman who holds 2 post-grad degrees and speaks 3 languages? Does comfort and function always have to win out?
I really mean no offense, but I just think we wear so many hats, why define ourselves by just any one?
Anon Right Now too
Anon Right Now – I am a mother of two and a wife, and I agree with what you wrote. I am so much more than just a mother and wife … and my style is not dictated by being a mom. I get a lot of looks from the other moms at my girls’ schools when I show up in my heels and dresses and they are in jeans and sneakers, but I’m not going to give up my personal style just because I’m a mom.
anon
are we talking about our “weekend wardrobes” or are we getting into a more existential discussion of marriage and motherhood?
in the throes of diapers, 2 am feedings, spit-up and hormonal exhaustion – not to mention trying to juggle that with a FT job – i can well imagine that memories of hiking in the Andes and being a sexy vixen recede pretty quickly. for some women, they and the activities that create them return once you get more control over your life, and for other women, maybe they don’t.
anyway this all started b/c of the female journalist who said, ‘on weekends, i’m a wife’. let’s assume (hope?) that if she’d had more space or her editor had more coffee, she would have added additional identities to the sentence.
TK1
“anon right now too” I had to LOL at your comment. I regularly wear my dark wash jeans and a nice top to school events and I AM the dressed up mom. I’ve seen more sweatpants, mom jeans and husband’s T-shirts than I’ve ever wanted too. If I go straight from work in a nice outfit I could be mistaken for a teacher or administrator! And this isn’t just in Kindergarden when moms are chasing the little ones all day, this is all the way through high school!
mamabear
I came back to read these comments, because I wondered what people’s reactions would be to my sincere question.
So my true multifaceted self: on the weekends I am a mom, a cook, a dishwasher, a housecleaner, a laundress, a gardener, an errands-runner, a tv-watcher, a grocery shopper, a sunday paper reader, a cat box scooper, and a lover.
Except for that last one, it doesn’t sound more exciting than “I’m a mom,” does it? :)
Someday I will manage to add, “I am a pianist,” back into the equation, but that is simply not my reality at this time of my life.
E
Maybe during the week she’s somebody else’s girlfriend? ;)
Anonymous
The reality is that when you have a child, the priorities change. Where I may have spent extra dollars on cute converse sneakers in the past for the weekend, as a mom, the money goes for baby clothes or a new toy. We are exhausted, and with a few extra pounds of post-pregnancy fat, feeling a little frumpy. It was a good number of years before I was able to focus back on the sexy me!
Ashley
I think I’m in the “real” me vs. “actual” me camp: real me does enjoy the business look, but actual me loves some yoga pants and a t-shirt at 5:03 pm and the weekends. It feels a little pointless to dress up cute on the weekends, unless I’m going out. For going out, it’s jeans, a cute top, and heels or cute sandals. But most weekends, it’s gym wear (and sometimes wedding ring, though it sits in its place most of the weekend!)
David @Cardviews
Elsa Klensch’s style is definitely a trend back in her days. She has a sense of fashion that many today are lacking.
NYC
This is an interesting thought. My weekend self is more feminine and colorful than my work self. But I have to say my summer weekend self is much better developed than my winter weekend self. I have tons of dresses and skirts that I wear during summer weekends (that are either more colorful or more casual than my work clothes) but my winter weekend clothes could use some work. I blame my California up-bringing…I just can’t get excited about casual clothes in the winter. Love scarves, but that is as far as my enthusiasm goes.
Anon
Oh this is so me! Although I come from a place with seasons… I think I naturally “get” the easy-breezy looks you can do in summer, but winter casual seems more dressy/refined, which is not what I’m looking for unless I’m really trying to make a statement that day.
Argie
Oh man – I LOVE winter clothes – jeans, sweaters, turtlenecks, coats!, boots, etc. The chunky textures, the soft sweaters.
Then again, I’m usually really excited about the fall/winter weather in Sept/Oct/Nov/Dec and then by Feb I’m saying “Screw it, I’m wearing the d*mn heels and knee length dress. I don’t CARE that its only 20 degrees outside today.”
Equity's Darling
I too love winter/fall clothes! I have a rocking collection of scarves/mittens/hats. My autumn/winter weekend wear is much more developed than my summer weekend wear.
I’ve been known to wear skirts with opaque nylons in March. Except replace 20F with -40C. What, it snows from late Oct. through early-May. My knees refuse to stay bundled up for 7-8months of the year, they find it oppressive (they told me so themselves).
Visit Montreal sometime during the winter, you will find girls a plenty on St. Laurent wearing skimpy dresses, no jackets, heels, and waiting to get into clubs. I seem almost reasonable in comparison, wearing dresses with nylons and a jacket/boots even.
Erin
Yeah, in Chicago and Colorado (both places where I grew up) too. One of my cousins doesn’t even own a winter jacket. I think she’s crazy. But then again, I love coats.
Nonny
I *adore* fall clothing. I can’t wait to bring out my wool/cashmere/alpaca/tweed/what have you. My closet is half sweaters, for good reason. And things look good, because this morning I broke out the black tights for the first time this season! So exciting!
Jas
I adore winter accessories. I have a selection of fantastic coats, a collection of scarves and gloves, and I am very sad when summer makes me retire most of my boots (hence why I bought summer boots this year). I do admit, by April I’m tired of dark colours and would like to wear something that isn’t wool, but it’s fun for the first 4 or 5 months of winter.
And I wear skirts and dresses all winter, too. A wool dress or heavy wool skirt with wool tights and a long wool peacoat is actually really warm. I feel a bit bad for the sheep, though.
Erin
I so miss living somewhere where winter lasts more than 4 months. I grew up with 9-10 months of cold weather and I really miss it.
Alana
As a former Californian, I feel the same way. It seems easier to find a wide variety of affordable summer clothes compared to affordable winter clothes, especially if you like distinct, unique details.
Lyssa
Same here. Plus, I’ve noticed that my winter clothes seem to wear out so quickly! I can get a 6 dollar tank top and it will last years, but I get a nice-ish sweater and it’s pilling up within a few months.
Also, I try to keep the heat down to a reasonably low useage at home, and find it nearly impossible to find cute sweaters that are actually warm. I’m usually in stockings under my jeans and a long-sleeved top under a sweater, and still wrapped in a blanket if I’m not moving around. Sigh. I hate winter.
Hel-lo
Yeah, it might be worth to turn up the heat.
KD
I have a friend who swears by tights under jeans for warmth, but I feel like I’m suffocating through my legs! I’ve since switched to cords for winter, knee-high leather boots, and focused on staying warm by keeping my core warm.
I agree with Lyssa about not getting my money’s worth out of cute and warm sweaters! Typically I wear polar fleece sweaters in fun jewel tones (frankly don’t see the appeal of North Face fleece), or for a more polished look long sleeve tee + cute sweater + jackets/coat to block out the wind and elements when I’m outside.
I do love wearing structured wool hats in the winter! While the winter-lite we get here is easier to deal with, my hats spend too much time in their boxes for my liking.
Bella
Me too. I guess partly becaus in summer there is a period of light after work and I may change into ‘playclothes’ a few nights during the week. In winter not only is there more eveningstuff from work, but when I’m home it is dark anyway and I either stay in work clothes or put on my pyjama’s early.
I like wearing colour on the weekends, like red, pink, blue and teal. I like dangly earrings and a flower in my hair. And I prefer soft, stretchy fabric in my free time, the make me feel unwound and relaxed.
KD
I’m right there with you on the summer weekend wear! I’ve always lived in so cal, though in various places over the years, and summer dresses, skirts, cute shorts, and casual sandals are so fun and colorful!
I don’t compartmentalize work vs weekend wardrobes so severely; I do focus on buying tops/blouses that can be worn both to work and off the clock. This helps alleviate the slight feeling of remorse that my casual clothes don’t get worn enough :) I suppose working in tech/business casual environment makes this feasible.
I do love my casual winter self, too, though it is less developed bc of the weather. Then again my typical winter outfit only changes to include boots and sweaters; it’s quite an occasion when the weather makes it sensible to wear scarfs and gloves.
Ru
Such a timely thread. I felt so frumpy yesterday that I dressed up for no good reason, makeup and all, just to go to CVS and the butcher. Lace tunic top with lots of jewelry, I felt pretty =).
And today, I had to wear a suit in this nasty humidity and I have to say, I have a newfound respect for those of you who wear suits all the time. Also, lined pants are the d3vil.
LSC
I agree! I don’t get the preference for lined pants! I feel so much hotter and more restricted in them!
Unsub
I’m with you. I have my dry cleaner/alterations person remove the lining from all my pants. If I leave them in, I feel like I’m wearing two pairs of pants and my legs sweat. I know the hive likes lining, but I just don’t get it.
Kanye East
Ru! I love your blog!
Ru
Thank you =).
E
Link?
Herbie
Work me: pencil skirts, lots of J. Crew, prefer tailored items to unstructured and classic wear-for-multiple seasons to trendy one-season items. I have lots of black but love me some jewel tones.
Weekend me: I skew a little Claire Dunphy. Always in jeans. Lots of button downs with rolled sleeves; comfortable cotton shirts (let’s not discuss how many tissue tees I own). Still fitted. Although, of course, if I’m not leaving the house, it’s yoga pants and a t-shirt. During the day, I’m either in Reefs/Rainbows unless it’s cold, in which case you’ll probably find me in a pair of laceless Chucks (custom–they’re hot pink on the inside!!). At night, if I’m going out, I’ll be in stilettos.
Genny
The only real style change I make on the weekends is wearing jeans – since those are absolutely not allowed at my office. Besides that, I really like my work style (like someone said above – sheath dresses, blouses, pencil skirts and other feminine clothes) and much of it transitions nicely to my weekend style. ie: wearing a blouse with my jeans or a pencil skirt with a more casual t-shirt.
Awful Lawful
This is a timely topic for me. Lately I have been thinking a lot about what I wear when I am at home. For me, as soon as I walk in the door from work (after giving my DH a kiss) off come my shoes, followed closely by my work clothing. For the rest of the night, it’s sweatpants and a tee for me. Weekends are generally the same if we’re around the house, but I dress up more if we are going out at all.
I don’t want to wear my work clothing in the evening because 1. I find it to be constrictive for lounging on the couch and 2. I am way too clumsy and I feel it’s pushing my luck to wear my work clothing while cooking. But there must be some middle ground between work wear and sweats, right? What do most people wear in the evenings at home?
Diana Barry
I definitely put on comfy clothes right when I get in the door- this avoids kids getting them dirty as well as food/cooking stuff getting on them. During the summer, I wear a t-shirt and shorts, but when it gets colder I wear sweats/fleecy pants and a sweatshirt too.
JJ
I also change clothes the minute I walk in the door from work. It’s a miracle that I don’t stain my clothes at work, so I’m not going to push my luck and add cooking/eating/drinking to the possibilities. There’s no better feeling than taking off a pencil skirt and putting on stretchy yoga pants.
Herbie
So true. Love getting out of corporate drone clothes at the end of the day. As soon as I’m home, I’m either into my workout gear or in a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt.
Erin
“What do most people wear in the evenings at home?”
My nighty or pjs. If you want to look cute for your hubby, get cuter loungewear. I usually wear a cami with jersey capris or a slip-style nighty.
Blonde Lawyer
Exactly. There are so many blogs out there w/ creepy pics of girls in yoga pants and camis at the grocery store. Guys love them! My husband loves them. I’m thrilled that one of the sexiest things I can wear is the most comfortable. Tight tank and yoga pants all the way here.
Anonymous
There are so many blogs out there w/ creepy pics of girls in yoga pants and camis at the grocery store.
Seriously? That is beyond sketchy.
E
OMG, this is horrifying. I will no longer walk to and from yoga without wearing something over my butt. WTF, creepers? Despicable.
E
ps – by “this” i meant a blog called girls in yoga pants that I just found.
Erin
Not even just blogs, but newspaper columns:
http://jezebel.com/5842538/baltimore-supermarket-deemed-best-place-for-ladies-hot-butts
Miriam
My b/f loves me in yoga pants! If I am working out in public I will wear them instead of my super short shorts, but other than that I only wear them for him. I’d rather wear jeans in public or pajama pants at home.
Anon
I have always changed into comfy pants and a tank top right after walking in the door, even in college (would change out of jeans.) I think it helps signal to my brain that it is time to relax.
Lyssa
Recommendations for cute and not overly jammie- looking yoga pants? I have a dark blue pair from Victoria’s Secret, and they’re very comfortable, but feel quite frumpy. (I know, VS, right?) Add to that that I have a very sheddy dog, so anything dark colored gets matted with hair and looks awful if worn around the house (the main reason that I change as soon as I get home from work!). I usually wear jeans, so I look like I’m trying a little bit for the hubby, but I wouldn’t mind a cute pair of yoga-type pants instead.
Herbie
I lurve my So Low yoga pants. Comfy and so flattering. http://www.shopbop.com/contrast-fold-over-pants-so/vp/v=1/845524441814142.htm?fm=search-viewall-shopbysize They are black, though.
Erin
If you can spend a bit, try Lululemon Wonder Under crops. I also like the brand Lucy.
Blonde Lawyer
Outlet shopping! Champion outlet, Nike outlet, City Sports bargain baesment, Reebok outlet – that is where mine come from. I particularly like the kind made for biking that don’t have the padded butt. I can wear them as short leggings under tunics.
Lisa
Check out the GAP. Great yoga & workout pants (in long inseam, too!). Well made and won’t break the bank!
anabag
I used to change into jeans in the evenings after coming home, but I’ve long since (well, after getting married) switched to comfier lounge pants and a t-shirt, which is essentially what my hubby wears after work and on the weekends. I then wear that pair of lounge pants to bed.
Amy H.
Jersey lounge pants and long sleeved tees. Occasionally boyfriend jeans — and by “boyfriend” I mean seriously baggy with no stretch at all!
Anon
I work in a very casual office and only dress up if going to court (which is only occasionally), so my work wear and weekend wear are the same. Jeans and fitted t’s, tank and cardigan or blouses everyday. In the winter, typically a sweater of some kind. Going out clothes are a different story…though that is rare now with the kids.
Jas
Weekend me wears tighter and lower cut clothing than workday me. I also wear a bit more edgy, street-style clothes (although I’m pretty far from any actual edges). Weekend me is the only me who gets to indulge her fascination with work-wear inspired clothes as a fashion statement. Other than that, though, I try and include my general fashion preferences in my work clothing, too.
Nonny
Work me and “real” me both like dresses and skirts. The two of us only own about 5 pairs of pants/jeans, combined.
“Real” me skews a bit vintage, especially with a late ’30s, early ’40s vibe. This sometimes comes out a little in my work wardrobe as well. I have a fabulous light brown plaid suit that I bought new in a well-known UK High Stree shop two years ago and swear it could have come straight out of the late ’30s. “Real” me also loves getting dressed up and my BF chuckles a bit when we go out for brunch on the weekends and he is in shorts and a T-shirt and I am in a skirt and make-up.
However, “real” me is also likely to be found in pyjamas and comfy dressing gown straight after coming home from work. All the better to sit on the sofa and be a blob.
Nonny
Woops. “Work” me clearly isn’t proofreading today. That would be “High Street”.
Weekend Slob
This post might be the wake-up call I need. For a while now, I feel like my “weekend me” has turned into the sloppiest, least stylish version of me. During the week, I’m all about the pencil skirts, sheath dresses, slacks, cardigans, blouses, pumps, the usual corporette-approved work wardrobe that I try to keep fashionable but appropriate. On the weekends, it all falls apart. Not only is it yoga pants, tanks and sometimes even sweats (yes, even in public!) but my “going out” outfits or “day event” outfits are suffering – I find myself throwing on the comfy jeans instead of the cute skinnies, racerback tissue tanks instead of tailored blouses, and a hoodie instead of a blazer or cardigan. Flip flops and my most beat up flats instead of heels or even cuter flats. I have lost the weekend “outfit.” Does anyone else feel this way? And how do I get out of the slump???
MissJackson
Might I suggest some jeggings? I will be the first one to admit that I avoided this trend like the plague at first (because? they sounded like a disaster for my figure). That is, until I tried a pair. So freaking comfortable. Add tall boots, and I feel immediately more stylish, but as comfortable as I am in yoga pants. I’m a convert.
GRA
MissJackson, you hit the nail on the head. Pull on a pair of jeggings or skinny jeans with some boots and it’s instant style!
Still runnin'
Hear hear!
Unsub
I think I just found my winter look. Comfortable and stylish.
What do I wear on top? Something that covers my butt, right?
anon
correct. find a long drapey sweater, add a long necklace, good to go.
GRA
I usually wear my skinny jeans with a long cardigan or a loose blouse. A big chunky fisherman sweater is a good option, too.
Batgirl
What are your favorite jeggings brand? I haven’t found any I like.
P
Ann Taylor Loft – love them and they look like real jeans!
MissJackson
I happened upon a pair of J Brand on sale at Saks, and reluctantly bought them, only to find that a couple months later I am practically in love with them and intend to buy more. So, I haven’t actually tried any others for comparison, but I love J Brand. Note that at least the pair that I bought run quite large (at least on me), so I would suggest trying them on if you can.
J Brand don’t feel super thin – they feel more like real jeans, but with a LOT of stretch so I don’t feel constricted at all (perhaps it’s all the stretch that makes the run so large?)
Still runnin'
Democracy. Nordstrom sells it.
Backgrounder
Second Ann Taylor Loft. Also Old Navy Rockstar jeggings/leggings are good. Just beware fit/size issues. For some reason ON’s clothing is unpredictable sizing wise. I think I read something in another thread about the number of items cut from the original pattern which in turn affects the quality of the fit.
Erin
One of the questions above made me realize I change clothes around four times per day.
1. Work clothes – 8am-6:30pm or thereabouts
2. Take at a minimum bra and pants off, usually throw on something I don’t mind getting dirty, usually a cami and shorts – 6:30pm – 8pm
3. Workout/yoga clothes – 8pm – 9:30pm
4. Pajamas – 9:30pm – 8am.
How often do the rest of you change clothes? I cannot stand to wear my street clothes in the house. Whatever they are, they feel horribly uncomfortable the second I walk in the door, plus I don’t like sitting on my bed in the same pants I wore to sit on the Metro.
Nonny
Work clothes – 7:00am-7:00pm or so
On workout days – change to workout gear, 7:00pm-8:00 or 8:30
On non-workout days – change immediately after work (the first thing I take off, after my shoes, is my watch) to lounge pants (or gardening pants, if the weather is nice) and tank top, 7:00pm-10:00pm
Pyjamas – 10:00pm or so to 7:00am
Erin
Oh, me too with the watch. I can’t stand to be outside the house without it, or in the house with it.
Nonny
Totally. If I leave the house without my watch on, I feel nekked.
Anonymous
1. Morning workout clothes – 545am until 7-730am
2. Work clothes – 8am until 530/6pm
3. Evening workout clothes – 6pm until 8pm ish
4. Comfy lounging clothes – after my evening shower until bedtime
With two of us on this schedule, we run many loads of laundry. I can’t even imagine the laundry piles once we add kids to the mix!
GRA
6:30-5:30 – work clothes
12-1PM – gym clothes
5:30-?? – leggings/yogo pants and a t-shirt
bedtime – pajamas
Seems the four outfits a day is normal?
And with two daughters who like to/need to change their clothes 2-3 times a day (and are still too little to do their own laundry), we’re up to 6-8 loads a week. Grrr …
Erin
So glad I appear to be normal. Last time I visited my parents my dad asked me why I change my clothes so often.
Miriam
You shower at night and work out in the morning? Does that mean you take two showers a day or don’t shower after your workout? I always have to shower after a workout before I leave the house so I was just wondering.
Anonymous
Two showers daily, one after morning and evening workouts. No shower = not possible :)
L
Bathrobe – 6-8 am
Work clothes – 8 am to 530 pm
Comfy clothes – 530-930 pm
Nothing/underwear – while I’m sleeping
MelD
1. Work clothes until around 5:30
2. Workout clothes or jeans/shorts & t-shirt from 5:30-8:15ish
3. PJs from 8:15-6:30.
I really don’t see the need to have different comfy/lounging clothes in the evenings- might as well just go straight to the PJs. I was like this even in college when my roommate and I would joke that it was 7pm and time for the PJs.
Nonny
I often do this. On workout days it’s 50/50 whether I put on my lounge pants or go straight for the PJs. But I do have trouble justifying changing straight into PJs on non-workout days (I think: what if someone comes to the door and sees me in my dressing gown?).
PJ time is my favourite time of day. Yessss.
Hel-lo
1. Work clothes after shower, 8:00a – 6:30p
2. 6:30pish: Change from work clothes immediately when I walk in the door. Put on lounge pants, a long-sleeved pj top that I sleep in, slippers, and a hoodie over the pj top.
3. Around 10:00/10:30, remove the hoodie and lounge pants to sleep.
I like this thread. This weekend, I was in jeans and a fleece, and hadn’t bothered to change out of my work handbag, which is purple fake snakeskin, and big enough for my ipad, files, etc. Someone I saw on Saturday at a volunteer meeting told me, “That bag doesn’t look like you.” I replied that it was “Weekday Me.” Guess they just know me as the jeans-and-fleece kind of girl.
Anonymous
I always buy cute Tee’s that I don’t have to wear a bra with and that is what I sleep in. I just kick off the shorts before going to bed. Why do I need pj’s?
Alana
My mother has similar style distinctions, but it has less to do with the day of the week because she teaches kindergarten. Instead, she dresses more uptown and lady-like when going out with my father to dinner, plays, and the like. Her style is more eclectic or casual otherwise. We call her 2 different styles, ” Firstname Maiden name” and “Mrs. Husband’s last name.” So for her, getting dressed as a wife is a distinct look.
Bonnie
I hope that my weekday and weekends looks both are put together but they are much different. During the week, I wear suits or outfits where I can throw on a jacket and still head to court. During the weekends, I live in skirts and dresses in warm weather and jeans and cords tucked into flat boots in cold weather. My weekend wear doesn’t take much effort and is still comfortable and machine washable.
Suzanne
My style doesn’t change that much on the weekends. Funds are limited- so I try to buy pieces that I can incorporate into casual and professional looks. I go to class right after work, so I usually keep on whatever top I wore to work and change from my skirt/trousers to jeans. I spend most of day on the weekends in my workout clothes, so I’ve been trying to invest in some nicer ones from Lululemon, etc. since I spend so much time in them.
anon professor
I sometimes wish I had a job where I would be expected to wear suits and heels and jewelry–if I dressed like that as a professor, people would think I was putting on airs or want to be the dean someday. Then I remember how much money I’m saving by dressing like a regular ol’ professor, where work clothes are pretty much the same as weekend clothes except with fewer stains.
Tired Squared
I think you can wear suits/heels/jewelry as a professor. At least, some of my college professors (big state school in the Midwest) and most of my law school professors (smaller Southern school) did so, and I thought they looked great!
Lucy
This made me laugh! :)
I’d never wear a suit to work (also a prof) but do wear a lot of dresses and cute skirts, jackets, sweaters, and boots. Lots of heels, usually a piece of jewelry.
My weekend clothes are typically jeans or a skirt and a comfy shirt. I have a couple of graphic tees in heavy rotation. After work I sometimes change into pajamas at 6pm, much to the amusement of my kids.
Miriam
My roommate is a nurse so she can wear whatever she wants under her scrubs. I’m always so jealous! I wish I didn’t have to spend money on work clothes.
AIMS
I notice a lot of people basically say they live in yoga pants outside of work. Obviously, to each their own. For me, though, when I start to opt for pure comfort over “style,” I start to feel a bit frumpy which makes me less happy and energetic. I just want to sit on my couch and watch terrible reality tv. So, lately, I have been fighting the urge to throw on the same old lounge wear (cute though it is) when I get home and have been trying for cute jeans and a flowy top or maybe a sundress instead. Making this choice, for me, means I am more likely to go for a walk, to go out to dinner with a friend at the last minute, etc. On the weekends, if I have no specific plans, I wear mostly flowy cotton dresses; in the fall, cords or jeans or skirts and tights with boots. The cotton dresses are just as comfortable as yoga pants, but I have to say that it all makes me feel more energetic and with it. Maybe it’s a personal thing, but for me, cuddle duds are definitely not always a good option, even if I am comfy in them.
Erin
I wear yoga (or athletic) pants because I practice yoga every day and don’t feel like changing. If I wear a dress, I have to wear a regular bra, and I can’t think of anything more intolerable than wearing a regular bra when I don’t have to. But to each her own.
JJ
Amen on the regular bra.
Nonny
To this, I adopt one of the mottoes of Alexandra from Searching for Style, and say: Yoga pants are not pants. See below:
http://searchingforstyle.com/2011/09/5-instances-where-you-can-wear-yoga-pants-outside-of-the-gym/
Anonymous
This is great!
Eleanor
I feel the same way. I love sweatpants, but when I actually wear them I start to feel too lazy to leave the house, or to cook anything, or to see people. I wind up alone in my apartment, eating frozen food and watching netflix and sad about my life. This sounds kind of overly dramatic, I know, but I’ve found I really am happier when I put on reasonably attractive jeans or a skirt or something after work and on the weekends. Maybe this depends on personality type; I’m a huge introvert, so I have to gear up mentally to do social things, and I think dressing as though I’m going to see people helps me do that.
Erin
That’s funny because I’m also a huge introvert, and the effort involved in getting dressed is enough to derail me from talking myself into going out.
Jen
I get that. But if I’m already wearing jeans (usually dark, trouser-style), I can change tops quickly and go out. If I’m in clothes that I wouldn’t leave the house in, it takes more energy for me to change. That extra bit is sometimes enough to decline going out.
Erin
But jeans are so uncomfortable, and then there’s the real bra…
(Wow, I am a spectacularly lazy dresser.)
Amy H.
I’m much more of an extrovert than an introvert, but, apparently, I am also a spectacularly lazy dresser! I’m with Erin . . . jeans (all except for spectacularly baggy “boyfriend” jeans — see above) are uncomfortable, and I will not wear a regular bra unless I absolutely have to (LBD or deep v-neck top, generally).
MelD
I just don’t feel the need to look cute at home. I live by myself and since no one is going to see me, I think it’s just a waste of money for me to spend money looking cute at home. I have a lot of cheap graphic t-shirts and jeans that I usually wear at home, but that’s as dressy as I am going to get. If someone wants to go out, I will switch into another outfit when it is time for me to go.
Sydney Bristow
AIMS, you are a freaking genius. I’m definitely going to try this out because I really do get extremely lazy at home and am not very likely to do things on the spur of the moment. I practically live in sweats at home, so it makes total sense to me.
Amy H.
This sub-thread is completely intriguing to me . . . it has made me realize: (1) sometimes all I need to do to get motivated for a run is to put my (very comfortable) running clothes on; and (2) I very, very rarely do anything social — meaning with someone other than the DH — on the spur of the moment. I do go out to lunch/go out to dinner/go running/go for a walk/etc. with other people, but it is nearly always scheduled. Everyone I know is so busy that there is no other way to get together but to plan it out days or even weeks in advance.
Perhaps I am over-scheduled? Thinking back, I’m pretty sure this was true even when I was a not-so-swinging single girl in the city. . . .
MelD
I don’t think you’re all that unusual. I just think when people reach a certain stage in their lives, it’s really hard to call people up spontaneously and ask if they want to do something. Honestly, the chance of me calling/texting someone on a weekend and having them respond immediately is so low that I wouldn’t even think of doing something spontaneous at this point. When I was in school, it was no problem. When I’ve been working (I went back to school a couple of times), anything spontaneous always happens right after work.
Mir
Same here. DH and I have only one couple with whom we sometimes make spontaneous plans. Not coincidentally, they are our only friends who live in our immediate vicinity. The LONG rush hour in/around DC means there’s no way I’m venturing anywhere on a weeknight that isn’t walkable or somewhere I can drive without getting on a main commuter route, and most of my friends just don’t live in that radius. I like to think it would be different if I didn’t live near a big city…
Erin
I think it’s a city person/suburb person thing. I live in the inner core of DC and I meet up with friends on the spur of the moment all the time, but we live within walking distance or a $5 cab ride. I almost never see my suburban friends.
Valerie @ City|Life|Eats
I love threads like this because it is something I do wonder about. For a long time my weekend style was a casual version of my weekday style – ie tailored, basic etc, and eventually I realized it bored me. Now I alternate between two approaches on weekends – utilitarian-comfort-me (yes, I am one of those people who wears yoga pants and a wrap top to run some weekend errands since chances are, I am going to yoga at some point immediately before or after) or the weekend-real-me which is edgier/more downtown than the more uptown pencil-skirt work-week me.
Nevadan
This summer my after-work and weekend clothes have been mostly shorts and tops – my dressy pants and tunics seem to have stayed in the closet. So have my jeans.
M in CA
Love this thread! My work is biz-cas but I’m usually on the biz side – lots of neutrals, tailored, pulled-together looks. On the weekends I’m usually in a simple dress or skirt/top and cowboy boots. I’ll usually add some earrings or a great necklace. It’s been my favorite look for a while. If I could live in it, I would. Luckily I live in LA where the only real difference between my winter/summer weekend outfits is the addition of a scarf and/or sweater (and sometimes, on hot days, sandals on my feet).
punk rock tax attorney
I call my work clothes my “lawyer costume” because that’s what they feel like to me, and I throw that crap off as soon as I get home. I thank Corporette for giving me an idea of what I’m supposed to wear to look like a competent professional. Weekend me is the real me — spiky hair, tank top/t-shirt with silly design, old jeans, studded belt, Chuck Taylors, tattoos out for the world to see. Yes, I still dress basically the same way as I did when I was in high school. I used to wear “nicer” casual clothes sometimes on the weekends when I was in college and law school, but since I’ve started working, I just can’t bring myself to ever wear that stuff anymore on the weekends after spending the weekdays in lawyer drag.
Nonny
+23 LL points for “lawyer drag”. I plan to use that.
cbackson
Haha. I call it my “lawyer’s disguise.”
And no one at my office knows I have a tattoo. Much pearl-clutching would ensue (even though I’m in the PNW…).
gov anon
Real me and work me both like skirts/dresses. I wear a lot of them to work. But, much as real me wants to wear them on the weekend, real me usually ends up in jeans/T-shirts, because it seems silly to put on a skirt to clean the house and watch football.
“Fantasy” me, on the other hand, lives in a Boden catalog and wears unbelievably cute skirts and sweaters for a weekend of apple picking during perfect fall weather. Which is probably why real me spent a fortune buying cute Boden skirts this fall. Now, if would only get cold enough to wear them.
Cats Ahoy!
I love the Boden catalog. I fold down the corner of every page.
Research, Not Law
This post reminds me of a good friend who transitioned from a nearly entirely telecommute position to an bicoastal/international position. She found she needed six distinctive wardrobes: West coast business, west coast biz-casual, east coast biz, east biz-cas, European business, and finally, her home wardrobe. Obviously, clothing items could work double-duty, but she could so well describe the nuances of each, it just cracked me up. The real her was a cut-offs and race t-shirt kind of girl, so it was so funny to sit with her while she packed for a mult-stop trip! She had clothes I’d never even believed she owned!
anon
This is fascinating. I’d love to hear some of those nuances – I’m a recent transplant to the East coast but my style is a somewhat arbitrary cocktail of various influences from a long stint abroad and the remnants of my flyover-state heritage (which I hope is no longer apparent) so this makes me wonder what geographical signals most of my wardrobe is sending without my realizing it!
Inva
Funny! I feel this way sometimes. There is a) business for retail clients in NYC b) business for retail clients in other parts of the country c) business for retail client meetings at my company’s HQ d) casual day with clients e) casual casual for internal meetings (rarely does R&D see a pair of heels and a blazer with jeans). Sometimes it gives me fits!
Alana
This is a great idea for a post!
AnonAnon
On the weekends I tend to flip flop between feminine (heels, shortish dresses, jewelry, makeup) and basically cross dressing (men’s pant, men’s shirts or tee shirt, men’s shoes). What can I say….I’m a Gemini :)
I’m a mom too….a toddler and a baby. I’ve had decent luck wearing my expensive clothes around the kids. I just usually take off my jacket and wear a lightweight cotton jacket instead while I’m around the little ones. As long as you’re careful with your pants you can get by…
Ann
Up until recently (like, this week), my weekday and weekend wardrobes were identical. I worked at a university where wearing anything other than jeans and an old t shirt was grounds to be accused of “dressing up for no good reason.” I’m starting a job in a biotech that, while it’s on the casual side of business casual, is probably somewhere I’d like to avoid wearing holey jeans with frayed hems and a t shirt with nerdy sayings. Also, I’m the newest and one of the younger employees.
This thread is great because I’m going to need to navigate this transition carefully. I’ve never needed to change after work or choose different options for work or weekend, and I don’t want to ruin my new business casual clothes. I don’t own yoga pants because I do hot yoga in shorts, so that’s out. I might just stick with the “grad student” look on the weekend until my clothes grow holes; by then, I might have developed a weekend wardrobe persona.
Maharani
I definitely do this. My work wardrobe is classic, minimal and edited, getting more so. For pm events which I do a lot of, and being Indian, I wear saris and have given up buying any other evening wear. I am really enjoying adding new modern saris (my favorite designer is Satya Paul) to my collection. They are for life and forgiving to the female form-I’m in my 50s. On the weekend, for errands, I wear updated jeans, dresses with/wo leggings, salwar kameez, and can go anything from slightly tough biker to traditional Indian. It means I have to manage 2 wardrobes and I admit the saris are MUCH the most fun part of it.
Cassie
Elsa was my first exposure to all things fashionable. Oh, nostalgia!
That said, my sense of professional fashion actually spills over into my everyday. I’m a little disappointed that I’m going into a field where I could get away with sartorial murder, actually! So many of the pieces I pick for myself are also pieces I can put to work someday. Pencil skirts, for instance. I’m addicted to them. And if I want to evoke another era, I don’t necessarily have to go vintage. I know enough about fashion history that I can throw in those subtle reminders: a hairdo here, a makeup effect there. My mother just bought a pair of shoes styled along 20s and 30s lines, but not so obviously that they looked like they were part of a costume.
So yes, I blend the two personae when I feel like it. When I don’t? Bring on the comfy togs…