Tuesday’s TPS Report: Merino Wool Button-Front Skirt

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Merino Wool Button-Front SkirtI've admired this simple wool button-front skirt for a few weeks now: it's a simple A-line skirt made of merino wool, and yet it looks both classic and fresh to me at the same time. It's available in black, brown, and navy at Brooks Brothers for $198. Merino Wool Button-Front Skirt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

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193 Comments

  1. I need lots of good vibes today. Today will be my first day back to work after taking vacation last week. I am covering for two other lawyers this week and I have two court dates for myself Thursday and Friday.

    My kitty, however, managed to eat some sewing thread the second to last day we were away and now won’t eat. He is also diabetic so not eating means no insulin. He is only 6 and very healthy otherwise. My cat sitter is beside herself thinking that we blame her. Of course we don’t. He was in our house, we left the thread out, he is a cat and gets into everything.

    I had to bring him to the kitty hospital today for observation and x-rays. I’m hoping it is something he will be able to pass. If not, I don’t think we are going to have the super expensive surgery. That is a really tough one for me to swallow because I have the credit to have it and we are planning to take my mom and dad on a bucket list vacation next year that will cost 3 times what the cats surgery would cost. The vacation is then or never and it means so much to my family.

    When we decided to get pets, we were on the same page that we would give them the best lives we could give but wouldn’t do crazy surgeries. We both felt like it was financially irresponsible, driven by emotion, not guaranteed to work, etc. There are lots of cats that need homes and for the price of the surgery we could probably keep a shelter running for a month.

    I’m just trying to pull myself together to get to work and get through the things that are urgent and distract myself until I get the news. That, or at least get enough work to bring home with me. I’m not sure if I will be checking this thread or not at work. Depends how emotional I am.

    I guess I need some validation that I am not a horrible person if I decide to put my cat down instead of having a multiple thousand dollar surgery. I feel like we already showed that we are not horrible people by paying for human insulin each month for our otherwise healthy cat. This just sucks.

    I’m praying that the vet will call with good news but I just don’t know how. He doesn’t seem sick except for that he won’t touch food. He normally would open a closet door and chew threw a cat food bag to eat any time of the day. Ugh……

    I already cried all the way home from the vet, through my entire shower and now I just need to keep it together long enough to get in my office and shut my door.

    1. Sending good vibes your way. Decisions about pets are personal decisions, and I am in your camp, in that expensive surgery isn’t the answer for our family. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You aren’t being callous and you’ve thought your decision out. I hope you get good news from the vet and you don’t have to fret. Hugs to you.

    2. Hopefully you get good news and won’t have to make the decision. I thought the same about our cats when we got them but then amended the rule a little. If surgery were to ensure many more years of happy life, I’d fork over the money. However, if our cat had cancer or some other terminal disease, we would not put our cat through heroic measures that would not prolong the cat’s life in a good way and would just lead to more suffering. I know there are lots of cats out there that need homes but after years together, our cats are part of our family now. Either way, you’re not a bad person.

      1. I’m in this camp too…I amended my rule for a $3k surgery to remove a tumor from my dog’s spleen when she was 13. And we’ve gotten 4 more healthy years with her – I feel like it was worth it. I think it’s a personal decision, and depends on a lot of factors. I would not pay for expensive surgery for an animal that was already very ill.

    3. I have a friend with a cat who managed to eat an elastic band. same scenario at the vet, but the cat eventually passed it, and no surgery was needed. So, first of all, fingers crossed.

      Second, there is a line you need to draw with your pets. I can’t tell you what the line is, but there is one. I am truly an animal lover and have always had cats and dogs. Once I used to dog-sit for a woman who babied her dog and didn’t like to leave him alone, not even for the evening when she was going out for dinner. The dog got cancer and the vet said the dog can either have radiation, or be put down. She chose radiation. On occasion I would have to take the dog to the vet for his radiation therapy. The amount of money this woman spent on her dog was outrageous. The radiation therapy ended up costing more than my undergrad degree. The dog lived for maybe an extra year. I think her efforts to keep her dog alive probably went too far, but she obviously didn’t. Everyone is different.

    4. You are not a bad person. You are a very good person for caring so much about your pet that you would not force surgery on him. While some surgeries are necessary, he will not understand that this is for his own good, he will just know that he hurts, and doesn’t know why. If it comes down to surgery, he wont understand that you are saving his life at the expense of thousands of dollars. Provide him with the best possible life in the meantime, and hopefully this is a question you’ll never have to answer. But if the worst outcome is what happens, you ARE NOT a bad person for choosing to forego surgery on your pet.

      It is really hard. We had a similar situation with our cat (emergency trip to the vet), and we were told it could be between $600 and $2,500 to save him. We paid the $600 that day, but told the vet we could not do more than that. To make a long story short, he had a small surgery to save our cat, but not the expensive one. In the end, he’s back home, and the cost was only $600, but we were prepared to make that decision if necessary.

      Sending good vibes your way today, both for the health of your cat, and your peace of mind. This is a tough thing to go through, and you shouldn’t question yourself.

      1. I agree. Regardless of the financial issues, the cat would have all the pain and confusion of surgery, without understanding its purpose and understanding that it’s good for long-term health.

        1. I was going to write the same thing, Terry! People rarely consider the mental and emotional toll of a surgery for a sick pet.

          I hope your cat passes the thread. If not, you have a tough decision to make. But it is your decision and I will support whatever decision you make.

          If it makes you feel better, I have had to put a pet down because I didn’t have $1800 to cure the cat’s UTI/blockage. Technically, I did have it but it was earmarked for my one vacation that year.

    5. It’s a personal decision, and only you can know how you feel about your financial health. Personally, however, I would get the surgery. I think I would even get a new credit card to get the surgery, because this isn’t a situation where the cat has cancer, its a one time fix. It could have an additional 6-8 years. For me, the 2k would be worth it, and if I’m in a position where I can afford a vacation like that, I think i would have 2k of wiggle room. Listen to your instincts, no matter which way they pull you. I just offer my point in case your instincts are saying to get the surgery but you feel bound by the “no expensive surgery” promise you made.

      1. I agree with this. Sorry, I can’t agree it is reasonable to forego surgery for something like this.

        1. I’m really glad I’m not the only one who thinks this.

          Granted, I am not a vet, but I was under the impression that surgery like this had a relatively high chance of success and a relatively low risk of complications. To paraphrase CFM, I would totally understand the OP’s dilemma if the cat was old or otherwise in poor health, or if this was not a discrete issue, or if the surgery had a slim chance of success. I would also totally understand if the cost of the surgery would seriously jeopardize the pet owner’s ability to pay rent, feed her family etc. I do NOT agree with the decision to euthanize a relatively young, otherwise healthy pet where the OP would rather spend the money on a vacation.

          That said- I am not insinuating that the OP is a bad person or anything like that. And I do sympathize – as the the owner of a dog that loves to eat non-food items, this is a pretty lousy position to be in, and I truly do hope that the vet calls with good news.

          1. I think that the diabetes makes the surgery a lot more complex (this is usually the case- diabetics get infections very easy). I’d say that it’s a really, really personal decision.

          2. @Lyssa – like I said, I’m not a vet (or in the medical field at all) – you could be right about the infection issue. I didn’t think of that. The way the OP described it, though, was that the cat was pretty healthy overall, and did not have any other health/quality of life issues.

            I too think it’s a “personal decision,” to a point. It’s certainly possible that I’m hypersensitive to this issue (big animal lover), and I don’t know the OP’s financial situation other than what she provided in her post. That said, I believe that when you adopt a pet, you make a firm commitment to do everything in your power to take care of it and take the risk that you may have to forego certain luxuries in the event of an emergency.

            That’s not to say that there aren’t situations where giving yourself an “out” is justified (terminal illness, pet poses a danger to children, etc.) but the situation the OP described simply did not seem to fall in that category. And I’m sorry, but I don’t think patting herself on the back saying “I gave the cat six really good years” justifies the decision to put the cat down in this situation. It’s a young, healthy cat – the surgery could give it a really good additional decade. I can say with certainty that I’d do whatever I had to (take out more credit, etc., if necessary) to pay for the surgery, and I am genuinely surprised that so many others see it differently.

            Again, though, hoping for good news for the OP, and hoping the work day gets better as well.

          3. I completely agree with Anon from 11:58’s comment: “I believe that when you adopt a pet, you make a firm commitment to do everything in your power to take care of it and take the risk that you may have to forego certain luxuries in the event of an emergency.” This is what we sign up to when we take on responsibility for our pets.

            I too am genuinely surprised by the number of people in this thread who think that this kind of surgery for a pet is optional and could be foregone in favor of a vacation (especially if by taking on some debt, both choices are possible).

      2. Ditto. I’m sorry, but I don’t seen how you can justify putting the cat down. You just came back from vacation and are buying another lavish vacation in a year. I think $2k will not bankrupt you and could save an otherwise non-terminal cat’s life for many years.

        1. ah I didn’t even notice that she had just come back from a vacation. Besides that, its obviously making you so sad to think about! If you have the credit to do so like you say, spend the 2k and save the cat

          1. I would talk to the vet. There is a big difference between something like “your cat will have at most a year or two post surgery, with no guarantees, and potential pain and misery” and “you do this surgery, it’s expensive, but your cat will be fine and live for years to come.”

            FYI — I had a cat that got sick while I was a broke law student. There is a credit card company called Care Credit that I got just for the occasion. It takes literally a few minutes to get approved over the phone, and you have six months to pay the bill off, interest free. It was a good solution for me because I didn’t have to burden my regular cards for this purpose and I was able to have some extra time to make the payments, and able to do it in the 6 month window without accumulating any interest.

      3. Agreed. I have a cat, and personally the “no expensive surgery” rule in our household is designed to prevent us from doing something that is more for our benefit than the animal’s (e.g., invasive and painful procedures with little chance of improving the cat’s quality of life). I would never apply it to a situation like this, where the surgery is very likely to succeed and result in the cat living a long healthy life. I think that’s part of the responsibility as a pet-owner — especially in circumstances like this one, where the pet’s illness is caused by his having swallowed some household item. I don’t mean this to be harsh, but I can’t see how you could put him down in this situation.

    6. Big hug going your way – you are most definately not a bad person. I am a dog and cat owner and love them both BUT know I would draw the line somewhere in terms of what I would pay for a medical procedure.

    7. Good luck to you! That is such a hard decision, but I think you are making the best choice you can. You gave a diabetic cat six happy, cared-for years. Not all animals are that lucky. For me, if I had the money, I would do whatever medical intervention my dog needed; if I didn’t have the money, I wouldn’t do it. Fingers crossed that it will your cat will be ok, and surgery unnecessary.

    8. Thank you all for your thoughts. It means a lot and I appreciate both sides. What we decide to do will depend a lot on the proposed outcome given that he is already diabetic which can seriously complicate surgery. Still no phone call.

      Operation get from car to desk without crying failed. Luckily I work in a really small office and the only people I had to pass were our receptionist and one of the partner’s assistants. My receptionist gave me that super sympathetic look and said “I’m so sorry to hear about your cat” and I of course couldn’t talk. I muttered thank you, I’m just going to lock myself in my office and work until I hear from the animal hospital.”

      I’m really not worried about how I look in this situation I just had to laugh a little that I couldn’t make it from car to desk. I will keep you all updated.

      1. Oh and just to add in case it matters he spent all day yesterday at the vet too but that was before we realized he had probably ate string and they were trying to figure out why he wasn’t eating. They ruled out all diabetes complications.

      2. I had a cat who did the same thing (albeit with dental floss). I don’t remember the cost of the surgery, but I did have to make the decision to balance her quality of life, my financial commitments, and the outcome that I could accept. The right decision is the one that is right for you, your family, and your cat.

        (My cat had the surgery and lived another 11 years)

      3. If it makes you feel any better, we had a 1 year old cat, adopted as a stray, who turned out to be positive for feline leukemia.

        When he also developed hip dysplasia (probably hereditary, because he was only 1 year old) we opted not to go for the $5K hip reconstruction surgery, because of the feline leukemia.

        I felt terrible, and the vet made us feel even more terrible. I loved that kitty! But he learned how to limp on his leg as it was, and then he died from his feline leukemia within six months, so in hindsight it was the right decision.

    9. Oh your poor kitty!! I am so sorry — we too have made “rules” about money for pets and then raised the “rule” limit a couple of times. We’ve never regretted it. Our doggies and kitties have always been a huge part of our lives. Best of luck to you whatever you decide. Hope you get good news!

    10. You”re planning a bucket list trip with your parents? You did not say why you could not do it later, but if you need to choose between doing something for the cat and doing something for the parents….

      1. Without getting into too many personal details, my dad doesn’t have a lot of years left. My parents haven’t taken a real vacation in years because of finances (mostly due to medical bills) and have never been out of the US. My husband and I are going to take them to where my dad’s family were from. It is a little beyond our immediate financial means but we can do it and have it paid for in full within a year. It is worth it to do this for them before it is too late.

        1. I’m not an animal person at all, so please take this with a grain of salt but I really admire how you’re trying to do something so nice for your parents. I hope everything works out for the best.

        2. I too admire that you want to do something special for your parents, particularly since your dad may be nearing the end of his life. Whatever you decide about the cat (sending good vibes that you get a positive phone call from the vet), I hope you do go through with the vacation plans for your parents. It will probably mean so so much to them. This is the sort of thing I want to do for my parents one day as well.

    11. My moody and bratty 12 year old black lab once ate a sock. I’m fairly certain it was because she was mad I went out of town. Seriously, no one knew she ate it…until she pooped it out on my bed. She was fine. My duvet…not so much.

      1. My dachshund has a taste for pine cones. He has eaten two, and both times was fine (I was a wreck). We have learned to put Christmas decorations where he can’t get them, and to keep an eye on him around pine trees.

    12. So sorry you’re dealing with this situation, and lots of good vibes going your way. I hope the vet has good news for you. I have “rules” about pet surgery too, but luckily I have never had to actually enforce them (knock on wood). Absolutely no judgement for not choosing the surgery; your cat has a much better life than many because of what you’ve done for him so far.

      I also wanted to say thank you for posting this, and whoever else posted about dental floss. My cat loves dental floss– I always take it away from her if I see her trying to eat it out of the trash, but I had no idea it could be so dangerous. Will be taking extra precautions from now on. My dog once shredded up his pull rope into individual strings and ate a bunch of it — he passed it, though it entailed much butt-dragging in the lawn to get all the pieces free (sorry, that’s kind of gross). But he was fine. I hope your cat has good results, too! Hugs.

    13. Hugs re your kitty. I was in your camp regarding expensive vet care for pets , but when one kitty ended up with a shattered leg while we were gone one weekend (to this day we don’t know what happened) I let Mr. gov anon talk me into expensive surgery to repair the leg and put in plates and pins. It was about 3K and now I’m very glad we did it. To look at her today you would never guess what happened. It turned out to be worth it to keep her with us. So don’t feel bad if you decide to reverse your decision.

      But I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll get good news from the vet.

    14. I am so, so sorry to hear about your and your cat’s issues. As a lot of previous posters said, making decisions about your pets is a very personal thing. My dad is a veterinarian and I spent years helping him in his office (he was and is a solo practitioner and I, for all intents and purposes, was his “vet tech” through high school). People make hard financial decisions all the time.

      That being said, I would not choose to do what you’re doing. However, I’m a big softy when it comes to my cats. I no longer live close enough to my dad for him to treat my animals, so it’s not like I get the vet care for free anymore, either! It’s just that I feel I’ve made a commitment to my animals to keep them healthy, etc. Like I said, personal choice. I certainly don’t think you’re a “bad person” for making that choice.

      I hope, though, that everything works out and kitty is able to pass the string uneventfully. Best wishes.

    15. Sending good vibes your way in hopes that you won’t have to make this tough decision.

    16. Good luck! I hope you get good news from the vet soon. The waiting must be excruciating. And no, you’re not a bad person.

    17. First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand you don’t want to do any crazy surgeries – but in my opinion this does not fall into that category. The cat is not unhealthy, it was just the victim of an unfortunate oversight. A six year old cat will often have a decade or more of healthy and happy years ahead of it. As an admitted animal lover, I believe that when you adopt an animal you are promising to protect it and take care of it. When there is a condition that can be fixed relatively easily (although I am no expert on complications with diabetes) that will save the cat from dying having lived only about 40% of its expected lifespan, I would do it. As other posters have mentioned, this is different if the disease is terminal, etc. Of course this is a terribly hard situation to be in and I sincerely hope that you will not have to make a choice. Please update us on the situation.

    18. Here are some updates. I left a lot out of my post to try to stay brief and anonymous. We don’t know for certain that he ate string nor do we know if that is what his problem is. I just heard from the vet and she doesn’t think the string is the issue. It may be his pancreas but she doesn’t know.

      We are now dealing with all kinds of other choices. What tests to run in what order, what treatments to go with, etc. I am pretty much the softest softy out there when it comes to animals. I work at an animal shelter every other weekend. I can read all kinds of awful cases and be tough as stone but show me a kitten in a cast and I burst into tears.

      I am now at home, trying to get some work done here where the tears can flow freely. When I say my cat has had 6 good years it isn’t because I don’t want to spend the money to make him well. It is that if we medically end up having to put him down, I want his last days to be the happy ones on the couch, not the ones with a feeding tube after weeks of having a bitter medicine shoved down his throat.

      As someone above says, the cat doesn’t understand. He tolerates his insulin fine. You would never know he was diabetic. Maybe he will tolerate this next round of issues fine too. But at some point it just becomes too much. You are doing it for yourself, not the cat, and at some point it is just financially irresponsible too.

      As for my finances, my vacation I just came back from was a week at the in-laws and cost me nothing. The other vacation is what is troubling me. It is more than we should spend to begin with but it is something we really want to be able to do before my dad passes on. How would I feel if I put that money towards saving my cat this year and before my dad got to take the trip he died? There is only so much you can put on credit before you end up in trouble.

      We are far from rich. We have good jobs but I have substantial student debt. Again, the money isn’t the number one issue here, it is just something else to consider. Just like I wouldn’t want to make the cat suffer with procedures that don’t work and then put him down, I don’t want to spend my life savings and then put him down.

      If in fact it was the string and I was told that the string procedure was safe for him and he would likely recover a happy cat then I’d be much more apt to spend the money. Now it is way more complicated than that and probably doesn’t even have to do with the string.

      The vet even said he seems fine, minus the whole not eating thing but that is extremely dangerous for a diabetic cat. I’m just trying to figure out piece by piece now what is worth it and what isn’t. I was far too upset so my husband called the vet back and asked her to explain it all again to him. We are going to run the rest of the blood tests, start to treat him for pancreatitis, skip the abdominal ultrasound for now because that probably won’t tell us much more, and try to feed him other yummy options at home that she will discuss with us tonight. Step by step until we get to the big decisions.

      1. Hang in there. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but it is legitimate for you to consider his quality of life, and your ability to afford extraordinary care, as you weigh your options.

      2. Personally, I think your decision makes a lot of sense. That’s exactly what I would do. It’s awesome that you are taking your parents on that trip.

      3. Hang in there. Don’t feel like you need to justify your actions to anyone. I don’t doubt your love for animals. You are the only one who knows the entire situation, and what your pet can handle, and what your finances can handle.

        Here’s to a good outcome, and if not, the peace of mind to know you made the right decision, whatever that may be.

      4. Hugs. I’m so sorry. I have a dog I adore, and am dreading the day we have to make difficult decisions for her care. We also want her last days to be happy ones on the couch with us, not suffering.

        Also, and hopefully I don’t sound callous, this is a cat (just like my dog is just a dog). Your dad is your dad–take him on that trip. It will mean so much to him and to you when you remember his legacy after he passes on. In the spirit of full disclosure, my dad died when I was 18–I would have loved to have known him as an adult and to take him one one of those grand bucket list trips. I love my dog too–but she isn’t one of my parents.

        Again, I’m not trying to make light of your predicament. I see the difficulty and I really think you are doing the right thing by everyone.

      5. I’ve been there, so first of all … *hugs*

        When I say “I’ve been there,” I mean almost exactly the same situation. My cat stopped eating, and they did an X-ray and thought she had eaten staples, which would have meant $5k+ surgery. Then it turned out that she HADN’T eaten staples, so they figured it was something in her GI tract… gastritis or pancreatitis, or something. The vet still wanted to do surgery.

        I’m not sure how far along your vet is in the whole differential diagnosis thing, but I went through h*ll for the next week as they gave her metrodiazanole and tried to get me to feed her (human) chicken and rice, or baby food (neither of which worked, she’s the pickiest cat in the planet). Her liver values were “off the charts” (in the bad way) and they were really starting to worry about hepatic lipodosis.

        I took her BACK to the vet after that h*ll-week and they suggested that perhaps the gastritis/pancreatitis was making her nauseous… so they gave her a high-grade anti-nausea shot, along with Xanax for at home. And six hours later, she walked over to the food bowl (willingly!) and ate about a quarter of it, and she’s happily sleeping on my bed right now.

        So please don’t lose hope! And if you’re having trouble with the idea of surgery, please make sure that your vet(s) is/are considering that it could be something a little less minor… it will give you more time to think about the surgery, and could also fix the problem that your poor kitty is having early!

        1. That is the med he was sent home w/ plus some human pepcid ac. We are trying all kinds of cat food/human food combos. He got the anti-naseua shot yesterday and ate some dinner. No xanax though. How did you get your cat to take the meds when he wouldn’t eat? I tried smashing it with tuna water and using a syringe but he won’t take that either. Thank you so much for telling me yours got better.

          1. I’m glad to hear that he ate… my understanding is that the little bit of food really helps get them to start feeling “hungry” again.

            He was sent home with metrodiazonole? If so, then be prepared for a LOT of foaming at the mouth … apparently that drug is super bitter.

            As for the Xanax… I smashed the pills into a fine powder and mixed it with a few mLs of water, and squirted the whole little mix into her mouth. I also smashed it and mixed it into Vaseline, and then smeared the vaseline on her nose (or paw, depending on what I could reach).

            You’re in my (and my kitty’s) thoughts tonight!

      6. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with difficult things happening to two different loved ones in your life at the same time. :o( must make it so much harder to feel like in some way you have to choose between them. I don’t have any brilliant advice about the decisions you are making, just wanted to send some virtual hugs.

      7. If you choose to have your cat put to sleep, please don’t feel guilty. I am shocked at the judgment some of the people on this blog have shown. In this country, we have so many luxuries from $400 purses to expensive pet health care. The people who judge you for not spending the money are hardly donating all their money to save sick children who have no health insurance. Last year, we saved our change and bought a used canoe. This year, we saved 250 dollars worth of coins and we are donating it for a child to have corrective surgery for a cleft palate. The truth is that 250 is such a small amount of money to spend. I know I waste money that could be put to better use in many ways. I just think its ironic that any woman on this site would criticize you for not saving a pet when children in this country are starving. Ugh.

        1. OP is not sending the money for hungry children. She’s deciding between saving her cat and going on vacation.

          1. Anon, I don’t care what OP does with HER money. Are YOU saving sick kids? If not, shut up and myob.

          2. MYOB? Have you been to this blog? I was responding to your preachy post that for some random reason brought starving children into the discussion.

        2. A canoe and a cat are very different things. When we adopt an animal, we take on responsibility for its health and well-being. If we cannot do that (for any reason including financial), we should not adopt to begin with.

          1. Rose, and everyone else who is judging the OP, you are arrogant snobs. Only in this country of wealth could people like you decide that someone should spend over a 1,000 on a cat. Anon, yes, MYOB. You are the jerk who is getting into OP’s business so unless you have taken some vow of poverty, get off your little soap box about how she is spending her money.

      8. My otherwise healthy 9 year old cat developed feline idiopathic hepatic lipidosis because of not eating a few days, probably b/c she had had an upper respiratory infection and fever. Diagnosis took about a month, and I then had a feeding tube surgically endoscopically implanted. (Food is the only cure for this condition, and the condition makes them not eat, a vicious cycle).

        I was one of those people thinking this won’t work on a formerly feral cat, but it did and she LOVED the PEG feedings. After a month, she was back to her normal weight and fine, and it was a matter of weaning her off it and then having it removed. She lived another 10 happy, healthy years, to age 19.

        Whatever started the not eating may not be the real issue now–it may be the lipidosis. Feeding tubes are somewhat expensive, but well worth the option of 10 more years.

    19. First, *hugs* to you, that sucks. Second, no matter what your ultimate decision, you are not a horrible person. Third, I also have a cat who has eaten a variety of stuff throughout his life (including but not limited to the wire from a pair of headphones and a blowpop). Everytime my cat has eaten said household item he has been completely fine, it usually passes within a few days. If not, often the vet can give your pet something to either have it throw up the object or pass it out the other end.

      1. Or the string becomes so snarled and hung up while passing that it acts like a knife, cutting the animal’s insides–with nothing to stop the pain. Sorry to be so graphic, but that is why the surgery is done and why the vet would offer euthanizing as the alternative.

        1. That was completely unnecessary. OP is already emotional enough, do you think she wants to read the graphic details of what may happen? She’s already getting advice from her vet, she doesn’t need it from you.

    20. This is such a hard thing. I would point out that not eating can be a big problem for cats. I am sure your vet will tell you about hepatic lipidosis and its dangers. Force feeding is better than that. Hoping things went well for you, and sorry I just saw this.

  2. Blonde Lawyer: you are NOT a horrible person! I’m in almost the exact same situation with our dog, who seems to have a ruptured disk that may paralyze his back legs (currently, they function, but not well). The MRI would be $2K and surgery between $3K and $4k. I am not going to do either one, although it’s killing me too, AND I have three boys who think I am a horrible person for not doing everything possible to save their dog. I cannot justify the cost either, since one of those boys will be heading to college next year. I also feel, as you do, that there are no guarantees this expensive surgery will work. I know two people who spent over $5000 on emergency vet bills for their pet, only to have the pet die within days. You obviously care for your pet and have done much to have him lead a comfortable life. I feel strongly that the thread will pass and this crisis will be averted, but if for some reason it does not, you should hold your head high. Thinking good thoughts for that follow up phone call from the vet!

  3. Someone please explain to me how buttons going down the front of a skirt are appropriate but an exposed zipper is not.

    1. ugh… my stay-at-home mom wore a skirt like this all through my growing up years. Nothing against stay-at-home moms or button front skirts, but this doesn’t say power and authority to me at all. Something about the potential easy access just brings it down.

    2. I think this whole “it looks like easy access” thing is really weird. It’s one thing if it’s an otherwise in appropriate piece of clothing, but I don’t think anyone’s looking at this Amish skirt and thinking “wow, that looks so slutty.” I find the whole thing really odd and vaguely sexist–are we always walking around thinking that women are on the verge of disrobing?

      1. On most clothing, the point(s) of egress are relatively small and discreet. Often hidden, even, as in side-zip dresses or zip-fly trousers. To have big buttons or a large exposed zipper marching down the front or back of an item that is not outwear suggests that it could be quickly undone. It’s not slutty so much as not keeping with formal norms of propriety.

        1. Yeah, wow, those button front shirts men wear? They just GET me GOING, those big buttons, all down the front, seemingly could be quickly undone…

          Or not. (That said, I don’t especially like this skirt, but I think it’s a bit much to suggest ALL things with buttons down the front or back are not proper!)

    3. I don’t like either, but for different reasons. Zippers because they are associated with more casual and/or sexy clothing, and buttons because I’ve only seen detailing like this on people in more nurturing roles – moms, elementary school teachers and one notably condescending history teacher in high school – and a few jumpers I wore to school as a 7 year old.

      1. It seems to me that I’ve seen longer versions of this skirt over and over again on women who are part of one of those religions where you can’t wear pants (or above-the-knee skirts)- think, the Duggers from that reality show where they have 114 kids.

        Not that there’s anything at all wrong with people who follow those religions- they all seem to be really, really nice people. I just wouldn’t want to emulate their style.

    4. I don’t think an exposed zipper is per se inappropriate, and I don’t think these buttons are “sexy.” I do think that too often the exposed zipper runs all the way down the back, down the middle of one’s backside, which is what takes it into inappropiate territory, not the zipper itself.

      1. I own a plain black wool pencil skirt with buttons (purely decorative) down the front, also in black. It’s super conservative and v flattering.

        If THAT’s sexy, then I must be channeling Marliyn Monroe all day & every day without being aware of it!

  4. I personally don’t really like the button-front skirt trend, although it is everwhere this year. It just reminds me too much of middle school.

    Threadjack: Has anyone here used Rosetta Stone?

    1. I tried it but sent it back because it required 100% computer only use, I thought I could also listen during my commute etc. so it didn’t work for me. If anyone has other programs they have found helpful I am interested to know.

    2. Rosetta Stone is pretty pricey…I personally think private lessons are the way to go. I’ve learned 6 languages in my day, and private lessons work the best! There is also a book called something like “learn any language in 21 days” that describes how to build your own records of materials. I like that method.

    3. I know some who rave about it. I think it comes down to whether you have any aptitude for languages or not. I have about three dozen words each of spanish, german and french all jumbled together in my head and that’s as good as it gets for me. Rosetta Stone and a magic wand aren’t going to help me, but others make great progress with it.

    4. Before you purchase, check your local public library. A number of libraries have subscriptions, and you can access the content online with your library card/account.

  5. Need some help from the hive mind: I’m a 3nd year associate at a small firm. I’ve started looking for a new job in a nearby city X – 2 hrs away. I like my job a lot, but my parents live in city X and they are having some health problems, so I really want to move to city X. I got a interview this past weekend and now they want me back during the week for second rounds.

    Problem is that I have no idea what to tell my boss (whom I actually like). What kind of excuse can I use that won’t sound totally made up?

    1. An excuse for taking time off to interview? Or an excuse for why you’re leaving your job?

      1. I typed this out once, and it didn’t stick, so I hope this isn’t posting twice:

        If it’s for taking time off to interview, then I would be vague. I’m vague in requesting time off as a general rule anyways. “I have an unexpected appointment pop up in City X, you know, where my parents live. I need to take Thursday morning off to accomodate.”

    2. Tell your boss you need to visit your parents who are having health problems. Say something like they’re having tests done and need your help for a few days. I wouldn’t tip my hand on looking for a new job until you have it, just my $.02. Good luck with your interview!

    3. “My parents are both having health problems. I need to take a couple of days next week to visit them in City X. [I can be available in the morning for emails.]”

    4. I have often thought about what I would say, should I need to leave for an interview, because my firm is small as well and my absence would be noticed. I think it’s best to make the excuse be something that people don’t feel comfortable asking questions about. Could you say that you need to attend a day of doctors’ appointments with one of your parents? Or that you have some doctors’ appointments of your own?

    5. I would be vague, but I wouldn’t lie – i.e. wouldn’t say my parents are having tests unless they are.

      1. I never give reasons for why I’m out – I just say I have “meetings”. (This may not work if you are more junior and don’t have many meetings of your own.) Or I take a sick day. Food poisoning as an excuse works well, if you absolutely must have an excuse for a sick day – bc that really lays you out for a day, but then you are fine afterward.

      2. I agree. I would probably say “I’ve had an unexpected appointment come up that I need to go to”. I wouldn’t even state the location, or time of the appointment unless pressed.

    6. IF the following is true, I’d consider going with some variant of : “As you know Boss, my parents have been having some health problems lately, and I need to take a personal day to go to city X.”

      Alternatively, if you don’t want to mention your parents’ health, say something like: “I need to be out of the office on [day] to attend to some personal matters, which I’d rather not discuss right now, but I can assure you it won’t interfere with my [meeting deadline, whatever case specific thing is appropriate], and I will be back in the office on [day].”

      People have lives, and all sorts of things come up that require you to be out of the office. You don’t owe an explanation, and most people will respect your request and not pry, and figure that when they need to know specifics you will tell them.

      Additionally, I believe that informing people ahead of time is more considerate/mature than just calling in sick that day (though that is an option as well).

    7. If the excuse is for the interview, just say for a personal matter and leave it at that. I hate lying and can never pull it off, so that’s the best I can come up with. Also, you don’t want to burn bridges–so don’t lie, because if your boss finds out, even if you have a new job, it isn’t a great situation. Good luck!

  6. Yay, an A-line skirt! Sometimes I get so sick of pencil skirts. I have to try on a million pencil skirts just to find one that works with my birth-giving hips. A-line skirts are perfect for us pear-shaped girls.

    1. LOVE A-line skirts for all the reasons you list. I’m not a fan of the buttons – something about it sings early 90’s (my junior high and high school days) to me.

      1. Those were my junior high years. Limited or Express sold a skirt this shape that came in cordury and suede. When I finally saved enough babysitting money for it, I couldn’t find it in my size. Sigh–all the other girls in my high school already purchased it.

        What’s most pathetic about this story is that I remember it…

  7. I’m sorry that your parents aren’t doing well – that’s a difficult thing to deal with. How about telling your boss that you need to take a day to support your parents through some health-related issues? I think taking that elderly parents to doctor’s appointments is relatively common, and the excuse (okay, white lie) is certainly true to the spirit, if not the letter, of your actual reason for taking the day off.

    Best of luck with your interview!

  8. Threadjack/Question for the Hivemind:

    I have recently picked up 2 new items for my closet and am having difficulty pairing them with things to make outfits. Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

    1) A navy sweater. I generally would wear it with grey pants, but then the question comes in what color shoes to wear… I don’t like the idea of navy heels (matchy matchy), but I don’t really have any ideas…. thoughts?

    2) Brown dress pants. Two pairs, both a dark tan/light brown. What color tops can you wear with these?

    Thanks in advance for any help!

    1. 1) I’m stumped. I was going to say nude, but I don’t think that would look good with gray. So I’m going to say cranberry, or any shade of dark red (NOT fire-engine).

      2) Camel. Love camel with brown.

      1. I second the camel — camel with brown is such a warm, fall look. Also, what about pinks? I have a pink silk shirt that I wear with my brown pants that I really like.

    2. Navy sweater/gray pants: plum, gray or beige, especially suede; black patent leather (somehow it doesn’t feel as “mismatched” as a matte black finish to me, but maybe I’m just deluded).

      Dark brown pants: pinks and blues are my favorite (icy pastels to medium hues).

      Light brown: rich colors – burgundies, navies, forest greens, even charcoal if the tones are compatible.

      And now I want to go get my fall wardrobe out!

      Herbie – where did you end up going for dinner? I got busy and couldn’t check back before you were probably gone, but both Kanella and Tinto would have been great last night :)

    3. 1) Any berry color. Aubergine would be gorgeous. You can also consider metallics a neutral (although personally I would shy away from silver with grey pants). Most likely not for grey pants, but I love pairing navy tops with my tortoise-shell pumps.

      2) Any color that you might think twice to pair with black – orange, yellow, navy. Would also say any shade of green, coral, purple.

        1. I feel an abnormal amount of pride that I’m color twins with you, Ru. And reassured in my suggestions!

    4. Whatever you would feel awkward pairing with black, you can pair magically with navy or brown. Oranges and yellows in particular.

      Navy sweater and gray pants – I don’t see why you couldn’t wear black shoes. You could also do brown shoes (depending on the shoe and pant color). Plus, your feet are going to be far away from your sweater since you’re wearing pants. This is the perfect opportunity to add color to your outfit – purple/eggplant/aubergine shoes, emerald (I don’t own green shoes…yet), or even metallics. Go nuts.

      Brown dress pants – everybody gave really good suggestions for these. Anything in the reds/pinks/purples family – mauve, salmon, cranberry, aubergine, plum, etc, etc. Peaches, oranges (man, I must be hungry or something), greens, all would look good, as would blue colors. Teal. Maybe even navy sweater from above. Camels and other such neutrals would be fine, too.

    5. With the Navy weater and grey pants, the flats from yesterday would be perfect. Burgandy would also would also work. I have a cobalt blue pair of shoes that work with this kind of outfit. I also think standard black would be fine. I agree with you on navy shoes – I bought a pair a few years ago and have worn them a grand total of ONE time. They always look too matchy to me.

      With the brown dress pants, I would wear another shade of brown or camel or cream then dress it up with a great color in jewelry, scarf, or other accessories (e.g. green or rust red). A light blue/grey shirt might work if if the browns are in the cool family or a warm green shirt or orange/red if in the warm family. I also have some great shirts with a cream base and brown-family patterns that work great with brown pants and colored accessories. Just make sure to have a relatively modern silhouette to avoid looking too 1970s with a collection of browns in one outfit!!

    6. I love warm medium brown with gray. Cordovan, purple or dark red would also look great.

      I like forrest green with brown pants. Also dark red and burnt orange. Or light, silvery gray. I also think that brown and black can actually sometimes look great together, you just have to find shades that compliment each other and make sure it looks intentional. Also, what about trying the pants with the navy sweater?

    7. Navy sweaters are my favorite! (navy is much kinder to my face than black is.)

      I like wearing a navy sweater with a navy skirt. The colors don’t have to match because the texture of the sweater will be different than the texture of the skirt. Or in your case, maybe pants. With this I wear either red or purple shoes in the winter, or some variety of beige or nude shoes in the summer months.

      Brown pants, in my opinion, look great with all shades of red – my favorite being a dark rose color – but whichever shade suits your coloring. I also like purple with brown, but I tend to save my purples to wear with gray. Brown also plays well with certain shades of green but I’d stay away from blues.

      If you’re going for a neutral look, try brown with gray and ivory. It’s a very sophisticated look.

      1. I should clarify on the shoes for wearing navy – when I said red, I meant more of a deep oxblood red color, similar to the way men wear cordovan with navy. Not a fire engine red. And my purple shoes are really more of a muted plum.

        (I tend to put all shades in a family under their primary or secondary color heading, a bad habit from the one art class I took in college!)

    8. I have had a pretty crappy morning at work… seeing all of your replies just really brightened my day. Thanks for taking the time to respond everyone! MUCH appreciated.

  9. I have a suit question. I have just returned to practicing law after a long break staying home with my little ones. My old suits are…well, let’s just say major shoulder-pad action! :-) I work in a small firm now, MUCH more laid-back than former BIG law. So I’ve bought quite a few separates that work fine — sweaters and pants are okay in the office. Also, I de-shoulder padded one of my old Ann Taylor skirt suits and it will work — it is a really dark gray/black plaid, so it will work for court. My other Ann Taylor jackets are cut too boxy to really work in 2011.

    I need one real black suit (jacket, pants, skirt). I’m having a hard time! I bought a jacket and Martin pants at BR — but the BR skirts are too short (I’m 5’10”). I don’t like all the extra seams on the Ann Taylor tropical wool. I tried on the Super 120S suit at J. Crew yesterday — loved the jacket, but the material on the pants was so thin and clingy and too form-fitting. That’s the only kind my J. Crew store carries — everything else is online. Anyone try: wool crepe? bi-stretch wool? wool gabardine? luxe stretch wool? I’d like a more substantial weight fabric than the 120S’s. I like the fit of Ann Taylor modern fit or signature fit — is the Hutton fit similar to one of those?

    Thanks for any help you can give me!

    1. What about the BR tall sizes, do they still have those? I would try getting a tall skirt online (if they have them) and see if that is long enough.

      I love the 120s – could you wear tights under? Try a different size or fit if they are too bootylicious? I remember the wool crepe was heavier, but I haven’t tried it for a few years.

      Welcome back to working! I am contemplating the opposite, going from my small firm to a PT solo/SAHM gig bc we are expecting #3. How long were you at home?

      1. Thanks for your reply! BR’s tall skirt is 23 1/2″ which you’d think would be long enough, but I tried on the BR regular skirt in the store and when I sat down in the dressing room, it rode up way high. I might order the tall and see how much it rides up.

        I was at home for 13 years — I know, seems like an eternity! I quit when my oldest was 1, and now I have three and they are all in school all day. I work part-time for a small firm — most of the work I do at home. The money is okay, not awesome, but mostly I’m just doing this as an experiment to see if it will fit in with my family — so far it’s going great. I was VERY surprised when I started interviewing that firms didn’t care about my long absence — especially in this bad economy competing with laid-off attorneys who have actually worked in the last 13 years. They saw Big law and top law school on my resume and that’s all they cared about. Not trying to sound snooty, just saying if there’s anyone else out there thinking about jumping back in, it was MUCH easier than I thought it would be to find a job — of course, I didn’t interview at Big law — no way would I go back to the politics and working until all hours.

        Good luck with whatever you decide!

        1. I am 5’8” and the BR tall suiting skirts are generally still too short for me. I sadly had to return a suiting jacket that I LOVED last month because of the skirt issue (not interested in pants).

          I’ve had good luck with Tahari suits at Macys. I actually just got a black lightweight wool Tahari suit there last month for around $200. It’s no-wrinkle and washable (although I get it dry cleaned to be safe). It’s got a nice weight to it but not too heavy that I get too warm. Some of the Tahari suits have embellishments that I don’t like, but this one is nice and simple with no frills.

          Good luck, and congrats on going back to work!

    2. I have both the J.Crew stretch wool and the wool gab. I am happy with both. The gab is the heavier weight of the two, but they are both heavier than the 120s, which I don’t like anyway for their unlined wool pants. The stretch wool seems to wrinkle a little bit more than the gab, but is not “wrinkly.” I’d order both and see which one you prefer.

    3. Have you considered Brooks Brothers? I have a very basic black wool gabardine suit (jacket, pants, skirt) that I bought there in 2006 and it is still “in fashion” (too tailored to ever really be in or out of fashion I guess) and in very good shape (because it is such good quality fabric and sewing).

    4. What about Brooks Brothers? I just got a navy BB suit this weekend.

      I haven’t had luck w/ the J Crew suits so I can’t comment.

    5. Have you tried Talbots? Their Luxe Flannel comes in black and talls and has a skirt and pants. In fact, there are two styles of jackets, two skirts and two different fits of pants.

      I also really love their Seasonless Wool suits, which also come in black with a variety of fits of skirts and pants, but the pants aren’t lined, which I know is a dealbreaker for some.

      Most of the collection is online only, but I find it runs true to size, maybe slightly larger than BR, but pretty close.

    6. Haven’t tried the wool gabardine, but I have suits in 120s, bi-stretch wool, and wool crepe. Try the wool crepe; it’s thicker and I think less “clingy.” IMO, the newer bi-stretch wool (that I have from this year) is just as thin as the 120s and might be more clingy due to the stretch. I’d say just order all of them and return the ones you don’t like (or all of them) at the store.

      1. Oh boo, I was going to recommend the jcrew stretch wool, but it looks like there are now two types and the bi-stretch is as thin as the 120s. Major bummer, as I love my stretch wool suit from there (from 3 years ago).

        Ordering online is worth it to get tall pants, once you know your size (I am your height)!

      2. also I forgot to say: my this year’s bi-stretch wool skirt is an inch or two shorter than the 120s & wool crepe ones. Ok for short me, but maybe something tall ladies are looking to avoid.

    7. Thanks ladies for the suggestions! I just checked out Brooks Brothers online and I didn’t see a regular suit skirt, just the one with buttons shown above — which is cute but I was hoping for a simple one with no buttons.

      I’ll check out Talbots, too. So much is online only — I’d so much rather try it on in the store. I don’t love placing huge orders (different sizes, etc.) and then hauling what doesn’t work back for returns. Look like that’s what I’ll have to do.

      1. I’m tall, as well, so I just got used to having “tall” sizes be online only. If you go a Talbots store, you can order anything from their phones there and they won’t charge you shipping. I have black and navy Talbots seasonless wool skirt suits (one of the few places where the sleeves on the jackets are long enough) and if you wait for a sale, you can usually get the entire suit for <$200.

    8. Sorry to threadjack your threadjack, but I tried on a dress this weekend at Nordstrom that had shoulderpads! Not huge ones, but shoulderpads nonetheless. Are they coming back? Has anyone else seen this lately? I for one, would not welcome the return of this particular trend.

        1. I’m actually a little excited by this. I have round, sloping shoulders that refuse to hold up a bra strap or purse and I look terrible in cardigans. Shoulder pads ftw!

    9. If you have one near you, check out the selection at a Brooks Brothers Outlet. They often have multiple pieces in the same material so you can find your best fit. Even if you buy a suit at an outlet, you can take it to a regular Brooks Brothers store for good and cheap tailoring.

  10. Finding the perfect black suit seems to be the impossible dream. And yet I was recently in the middle of a convention in San Francisco where most of the participants were from Japan. Each and every woman was wearing a perfect black suit. So they must exist somewhere.

    I have played around with my black suits mixing that jacket with this skirt or pants and I am finding a better result by mixing them up then by staying with the original pairing. So much depends on the exact length of the jacket and how that goes wih the lower part.

  11. Threadjack!

    I just officially became an adjunct professor! Does anyone have any experience with this? I have my course put together already, but I’d be happy to hear any general advice.

    1. Context is everything. Are you angling for a full-time position? If yes, would it be there, or elsewhere? What is your goal in doing this? What experience do you have so far? I may have lots of insight, or none, depending…

      1. Not angling for a full-time position. I had given several guest lectures at my law school, and was approached about serving as an adjunct. I am mostly doing it to give back to my law school. I have about 5 years experience.

        1. Gotcha. My experience doesn’t have much in common with what you’re doing then. The advice you’re getting on teaching and admin stuff applies in any case, though! I would also add:
          –On any day you’re handing back a paper or test, do it at the end of class, not at the beginning. You don’t want to lose everyone’s attention the entire time as they mull over your comments…or fume about their grades and formulate arguments as to why they deserved better! I even had one colleague who always required a 24-hour waiting period between when she handed back exams and when students could contact her–even if by email–to discuss grades.
          –If you ever want students to fill out an evaluation, come up with questions, or anything else written on the spot, have them do it at the beginning of class, not at the end. This will encourage them to write something substantive and thoughtful, because they won’t be on their way out.
          –This may be obvious, but…avoid any references to the fact that you’re doing this for the first time, if possible. Like anything else, people pick up on new-ness much more often if you broadcast it. Try to lead with confidence and comfort in your position, and the kinks will iron out on their own.

          Enjoy and good luck! I think you’ll definitely get a lot out of this.

          1. The point about handing back papers/tests at the end of class makes a lot of sense, but is also giving me flashbacks to being SO irritated and anxious when teachers would do this! I always preferred to just get it over with so I could move on right away to focusing on the lecture and not have a grade be the first thing on my mind after class.

        2. Wow, you must have had a much better experience in law school than I did! “Give back?” I’d like to give it a kick in the a**

    2. Congratulations!

      Ask for a copy of the school policy manual and check out the grading section so you know what you’ll have to aim for at the end of the semester.

      Be prepared for remedial questions the first class session: do you take attendance? what is the format of the exam? do you have past exams we can see?

      If you use power points, students will ask you to distribute them. Most schools consider course materials the property of the professor, so you can choose what to do. Think about it in advance so you’re not surprised when they ask. (I PDF my PP slides after the relevant lecture is over and post them on a password protected site, tell my students they may download them for personal use only and I do not give my consent for any further distribution or any other use, and remove them after the semester is over and the exam has been taken.)

      Will you have office hours? Or will you have an “open email-me-and-we’ll-set-up-a-call” policy?

      In every class, there will be one student who wastes time that you need to use to teach by asksing a series of irrelevant questions. Figure out in advance how you will deal with him/her.

      Determine whether the school will withhold any/enough taxes from your paycheck and compensate if necessary by saving some of it. (Also see if they can direct deposit. And figure out how much of your salary you will save and where.)

      Make sure you understand how to park and where, especially if you teach after normal business hours.

    3. What do you want to know?

      Some basics (probably not that different from your current job):
      – set clear, firm expectation (eg., if you don’t accept late papers, say so and stick to it)
      – treat your students like adults and maintain high expectations
      – be organized
      – you are the expert
      – you don’t have to know all the answers – better to admit that you don’t have a certain piece of info with you, look it up later, and share it with the class via email list than to bs
      – return papers promptly
      – promote class discussion, or at least questions on the material. Don’t lecture endlessly for 50 mins. w/o any give-and-take
      – be available for questions after class and/or set up regular office hours
      – meet the other faculty in your dept. but don’t expect to see them that much – adjuncts often come and go-
      – if you’re really interested in becoming a good prof you can sign up for the Tomorrow’s Professor listserve out of Stanford – great teaching tips to your inbox weekely

      1. Adjunct Law & Jr Prof: These are fantastic considerations!

        Clearly, I’m not doing this for the money. And I’m not angling for a full-time position. Please tell me that the personal satisfaction is worth it!

        1. As a current law student, I’ll point out that I have both learned and enjoyed more from classes taught by adjuncts almost across the board. They tend to be more interesting, up to date on current events and able to connect them to what’s going on in the course, and understanding of students’ obligations outside the classroom (I’m an evening student). Ranking all my professors, I really think every adjunct I’ve had is better than every full time professor I’ve had. Hopefully that helps your personal satisfaction question :)

          1. Ditto Ellie, ALL of my adjunct engineering professors were WAY better than the tenured professors. Good luck to this new portion of your career L!

        2. When a student tells you that a comment or lecture made them looking at things differently — so satisfying!

    4. As someone who just graduated in May, I loved the profs that brought practicality to the classroom- whether it was “in real life, this is how it would go” or through examples that we would work through the practical side.

      Just generally more interaction with students is preferred, profs that are aloof and disconnected from the practicalities are so boring (even if I found them brilliant, their classes would be lame).

    5. What level are you teaching? Undergraduate? Graduate/Professional school? The older your students, the more you can assume that they will treat your class seriously. With younger students, the more likely it is that you will have to enforce the minimum standards you would like from them. If you want them to do the reading before class, you will need to have quizzes on the reading (trust, but verify :).

      About powerpoints: the best I’ve seen is when a professor distributed his course notes to students in fill-in-the-blank form to encourage active listening in class. The notes would read something like: “The equation for the hypotenuse of a triangle is _____, which is called the ______ theorem.” Simultaneously, this changed the incentives: it made class attendance more valuable, and wide distribution of the notes less valuable.

      Do try to control your course materials as much as possible. It’s amazing how many students have stashes of course materials passed down from previous years, in part because many professors don’t realize and retain the same exam questions year to year. You can always collect back exams after reviewing them with students, and go over answers in class instead of distributing written “official” answers. This, of course, is coming from a field where there is indeed only one “right answer” to exam problems. :)

      1. Ah, I see that the younger students stuff doesn’t apply. I get a lot of personal satisfaction out of teaching, and I think you will too, particularly as your students will be more like junior colleagues than hungover children (my typical student). Best of luck and go get ’em!

        1. “Hungover children.” Well put, my colleague!

          OP, I added some thoughts up above in case you didn’t see them.

          1. Monday – At least they’ll grow out of it (at least, we all did).

            I agree with your time management comments above. Teaching is like a magic show: the real “magic” is keeping your students attention focused where you want it at all times (which requires a lot of planning and a dash of showmanship).

    6. As a 3L, I just wanted to say thanks for giving back to your law school! I have pretty much always loved my adjunct profs – I find they can be way better than the really stuffy academics. Depending on what you’re teaching/how you’re teaching it (i.e. lecture/seminar), I find the best thing for students is to make it clear you’re open to any and all questions. I had one adjunct prof in a small seminar that we would ask anything – if we were talking about an issue, someone would often ask what she would do if she were dealing with this at work, and she would give us a 10 minute explanation of exactly how to prepare a motion, how it might go in court, etc. etc. It was amazing! A lot of students don’t care so much about the theory of the law and just want to know how to DO it.

    7. I am an adjunct at my local law school. I have a ton of “thoughts”, but I’m not sure what you’re looking for. Do you want advice about teaching? Advice about how to handle students? I feel like there’s so much to comment about that I don’t necessarily want to write a novel until I know what information you want.

      1. I don’t really know what I’m looking for right now. I’m still excited that we have made it to the point that my course is actually listed in the course schedule! Is there anything you wish you had known before starting? My biggest concern is that I will not know all the answers and will lose credibility.

        1. This was my biggest fear and biggest problem during my first year teaching.

          Repeat over and over to yourself that you ARE the expert. Maintain control of the discussion, while having room for questions and comments. If someone challenges you, ask for data and ask that they support their point with evidence. If someone asks a question that you can’t answer off the top of your head, either tell them where to find the info, or find it yourself & report back. NO ONE can know everything, especially in their first few years of teaching. Your students will respect you if you are straight-forward, clear, honest, and offer real-world examples. Not so much if you are blowing smoke or trying to weasel out of a question. Just admit that you don’t know, and offer to return to the topic in a future class. And change the topic. Since these students know less than you, they don’t know where the gaps in your knowledge are, or what you ‘should’ know but don’t.

          There will always be one or two male students who talk a lot and hog the conversation. Cut them off early on, maintain control of the classroom, and, if necessary, call on people to ensure that airtime is equitably distributed.

        2. I taught for a few years before landing a high-travel job so I had to stop, but it was a great experience. I taught law classes to undergrads. Things I wasn’t prepared for: cheating, what to do when discussion didn’t happen in the classroom, what to do when someone hogged discussion, the tedious nature of grading, and what to do with students who were so obviously behind others in terms of skill and ability. It was shocking to me how the super top student stood out, as did the super bottom. I was expecting that undergrads at a top university would all have adequate writing skills, but that was not the case. I did my best to lend an adjunct, real-world quality to my class, including sending the students on independent study trips to the local courthouse, sharing my own war stories, etc. With no worries about tenure, I think I could give more attention to the students, too. It was a great experience all around, but it paid peanuts and eventually wasn’t worth it when my career took off. Hope you have a great time!

        3. As a department chair, I love faculty members who read the faculty handbook cover to cover and then follow it. Students to indeed love adjuncts who bring real-world experience to class. My suggestions: Use the online course management system to post materials for your students. It’s fine to sometimes say “I am uncertain,” but then follow up with the answer the next class. Try not to get defensive if you’re challenged. And, if anything funky happens, let your chair know!

  12. I work in state government and make a modest but entirely livable salary. My boss has worked in our agency for over 20 years and currently makes about 35% more than I. Her husband is an attorney in private practice, and I estimate he makes at least as much as she does.

    She sometimes makes weird comments about money, such as: I don’t know when I’ll be able to retire, I refi’d my house to pay off our credit cards (which included the last couple family vacations), I can’t afford to buy cars, so I always lease. She once told me that I might not be able to save enough to replace my car (it’s getting on in years) and so would have to have a payment like the rest of us.

    Issues of compensation come up around our office with some regularity because we work in state government, so neither my boss nor anyone else in our agency controls anything about our earning, which is set as a matter of politics by the legislature and is often the subject of news reporting. Her comments make me uncomfortable, but I don’t know why. I think it is because we have such different approaches to money. (And I think there’s some judgment here on my part because I think I am more responsible.) So far, I have tried to avoid these conversations or, when that’s not possible,
    say as little as possible.

    Anyone have any insight or had similar experiences? I have had plenty of younger colleagues who were not responsible with money (especially new baby lawyers in private practice during the boom years), but never a boss. It is a little unsettling.

    1. So weird and totally inappropriate. Is your boss just an awkward person – maybe trying to connect with others in the office through shared adversity?

    2. I don’t understand why you are letting her financial problems bother you. It’s her business. If she wants to talk about it to others in the office, then just ignore, like when anyone is talking about any other topic you don’t care to hear about.

      If the issue is how to respond when she says something to you (like about the car payment), then just say something like “I feel like I’ve got my financial house in order” or something similar and move on.

    3. I agree that this is awkward. I would just ignore her if you can.

      I’ll also add that despite knowing what she makes and guessing what her husband makes, you don’t have a complete picture of their finances. It does sound like she might be a little irresponsible, but it could also be a million other things. She could be taking care of her parents, or her husband’s parents. Or she could have taken a bath in the recent housing crash. Or she and her husband could have massive student loan debt. Who knows? It sounds odd, but some people feel more comfortable complaining about money in a general way than they do talking about their specific problems.

      In any case, try to ignore her and stay out of it.

      1. I couldn’t agree with this comment more. You have no clue what the personal situation is- underwater mortgage, maybe the husband’s law firm isn’t doing that well and he went through a period where he just broke even, maybe one of them has a chronic health condition, they have kids in college, etc. Feel free to ignore your boss when she makes those statements, but I would not make any snap judgment that she’s somehow irresponsible with money.

        1. She took vacations on credit cards and then had to refinance her house as a result. I’m pretty sure that’s irresponsible, no matter how you look at it.

          1. It’s her business, but she should keep it her business rather than complaining to Weird About Money. Whatever her financial situation, she shouldn’t be discussing it at work. I think that is the bottom line.

          2. Just playing devil’s advocate here – she could have had charges on the credit cards that weren’t frivolous. I am not a credit card kind of person, but I know some people deal with large unexpected expenditures that way because they haven’t planned well enough or they didn’t know how else to cover the emergency expense. Plus, she could have actually made the refi decision because rates have been so much better in recent months than they were a few years ago. That could have actually been a very smart decision, depending on her financial picture. Without all the facts, it’s impossible to pass judgment on someone’s financial acuity or lack thereof.

            There is a possibility that this woman is self-depricating in an effort to make her subordinates feel like she’s really not that much “better off” than they are. Maybe it’s her way of trying to commiserate.

    4. As the government shut-down was looming a couple months ago, I felt much the same way. Not so much my boss, but just the general chatter from coworkers and around DC was very “I just went shopping and I need to pay this off” or “I have three kids and a mortgage and I don’t know how I’m going to pay for food if we don’t get a paycheck next week.” Even years ago when I was making about half of what I do now, there’s no way I would have ever been worried about missing a paycheck or three, and it made me sad that so many intelligent people found themselves in this position.

      I called up my parents and thanked them for teaching me about personal finance, but at work I just kept my mouth shut and steered the conversation elsewhere… I think that’s all you can really do in a situation like that. Though I think it’s unfortunate that talking about finances is a social taboo — I can’t help but think people would be better informed if they had conversations about money with people other their family and accountant.

      1. I remember the same thing around DC, and I was surprised too. I really think a LOT of people out there were not as responsible with their money as they should have been when times were really good, and so things are now really tight for them.

      2. As a DC lawyer who would have been affected by that shutdown – 1/3 of my income goes to student loan payments. I can barely get by on the other 2/3. The only savings I have are in my retirement account. If I missed a single paycheck I’d be screwed.

    5. There’s no age/experience requirement for being good with your money, so I would say that the longer I have gone on in my career the more people I meet with more experience that are in money difficulties. I would second the comments made re: you don’t know what the personal situation is and there are a LOT of possible financial drains that can pull down a person from healthcare of family members to housing disasters.

      I would disagree with some who say that you should just indicate that you are fine and dandy financially or that you should ignore it. That’s too hard to do in a small work setting, I think without being taken for rude.

  13. This skirt reminds me of a uniform skirt I had for a school group in the 80s. I have avoided the button-front skirt since!

    1. Yes, this is my primary reason for not liking this skirt, despite its work-appropriate length, flattering shape, and conservative color.

      There’s something about childish/school-uniform-ish about it, and yet, if I wanted to go twee and craftsy/casual Sunday, I’d get this in green corduroy, and maybe with some applique design on it like some of the stuff you see in the BodenUSA catalog, rather than in black.

      So– it’s like this skirt doesn’t know if it’s coming or going.

      As for your username– would it be presumptuous of me to guess that you have a red-headed best friend named Anne Shirley? ;-)

  14. Threadjack: A friend of mine picked up some fabulous shoes for me on a super-discount, but they’re about a half-size too big. I’ve heard about lambswool or insoles to help make big shoes fit better, but I’m coming up empty when I try to hunt for the right product. (a search on zappos for instance doesn’t yield anything but comfort insoles.)

    What should I be looking for? Thank you!

    1. I had this problem not too long ago and found that Dr. Scholl’s gel inserts did the trick.

    2. For most shoes, when you’re trying to make them a wee bit smaller you want to add a bit of padding to the area underneath the ball of your foot. You can generally get those sticky insoles that go there, but a locally owned shoe shop should have small pads that can go under the existing lining (possibly) and serve the purpose better. I wear a 10.5, so this is what my father-in-law does in his shoe store to hook me up with the 11’s that I like. You can search for “halter” cushions, or “ball of foot” cushions to find them, but honestly I have better luck when someone fits them for me.

    1. I really like this phrase “smoldering sartorial savvy.” I’m not sure what look would be the epitome of this, but it’s not the one they’re applying it to.

  15. Any good leads for websites and blogs that are especially helpful to women out there starting their own businesses or who run their own businesses? I have had a really hard time finding good ones that are not a) just trying to sell the latest, greatest startup product; b) marketing avenues for other people to sell the latest, greatest startup product; and c) blogs that are written by people trying to sell the latest, greatest startup product. Any good resources out there I’m missing? Danke, spaseba, gracias.

    1. What type of business? It might help to know. For advice, get an accountant first and foremost. And then work out what you need. As a start up cheap, free or DIY is generally best.

      1. I would check with your local economic development agency or chamber of commerce. It might be not blogs or electronic stuff but I would bet they could reccomend classes or seminars or grants that could help. etc. There was a wide selection of these services even in a past small town I lived in.

  16. We rarely touch on this in our what-I’m-wearing threads, but everything I’m wearing today (dark denim J. Crew pencil skirt, ivory silk Calvin Klein polo shirt, tweed and patent leather peeptoes) was scored at the local Goodwill while visiting my mother over the weekend. Woohoo for looking good and being thrifty while doing it!

    1. I LOVE shopping at Goodwill! Some of my all-time favorite finds came from Goodwill stores. Most expensive find (to date, of course!) was a dressy Valentino blazer. My favorite, though, is a vintage evening gown with a deep V back that has amazing satin-covered button detailing from the V all the way down to the floor.

      1. One of my other scores (and there were a lot–I basically acquired what a sensible person would consider an entire wardrobe) was a beautiful Tracy Reese silk party dress. Gorgeous fabric, gorgeous condition, gorgeous fit. Now I just need a reason to wear it!

  17. I like this skirt. I’ve had very good experience with BB skirts generally, and I actually love the button down the front skirt trend (my school uniform, when I had one, involved an apron and looked nothing like this – maybe that helps). I also think the merino wool would be very warm and comfortable. Obviously this is not a “power” look, but I think it’s great option for a cold Friday at the office. It would look awesome with some cool boots, for pre/post office.

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