Workwear Hall of Fame: Madrid Duffle Bag

97 Comments

1. My kitty died yesterday. It was unexpected but the prognosis left no options. I was able to donate what she no longer needed (something important to me to do right away so that, as soon as possible, other kitties would benefit from how much I do/did/always will love her), so there’s no other action for me to do exactly.

   She was my first kitty, she chose me, and taught me how to be her parent. I am absolutely gutted. I have some time off of work but I can’t stop crying, so it’d be weird to randomly go roam around somewhere public and not so safe to drive while sobbing. I just want someone to come over, sit on the couch with me watching crap tv, let me cry, makes me eat/bathe, and just exists in my space so it feels less lonely (without expecting me to be any sort of way).

   I’m in Ohio so I know there really aren’t folks from the area on this board (though I will be a part of the meet-up in the future)… I just… I’m in my mid 30s, have no relationship with either parents for decades due to their toxicity, and part of me just aches to be mothered or parented or something right now.

   (I know the logics of grief taking the time it takes, I’m not unsafe and know hotline info if that changed, so I guess I’m not really asking anything, I just… hurt. Thanks for listening/reading.)

   1. You have a lot to grieve. My heart goes out to you.

   2. Oh I am so so sorry for your loss.

   3. I am so very sorry for your loss. My 17 year old kitty girl just died two weeks ago and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself either. Hugs from an internet stranger.

      Where in OH are you? I live literally just across a river from southern Ohio and I’d watch crap TV with you.

   4. All the hugs.

   5. I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard.

   6. Sending you SO MUCH love. I know these feelings all too well. (Similar situation with being alone) You were a good companion to your kitty and they knew how much you loved them. May I suggest investing in a weighted blanket (t*rget has a decent one for not too much money)? It’ll give you a feeling of comfort. You’re in my thoughts. XOXO

   7. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

   8. I know you’re not ready yet, but there’s a reason people go out and get a new kitten in your situation. You’ll still miss your old kitty and the kitten won’t replace her exactly, but it will give you another kitty to care for and to keep you company, and there are plenty of kittens who need good homes, especially at this time of year. Give yourself a week or so (or less if you feel ready!) and go visit a shelter.

   9. I am so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been in your situation yet but I can’t even imagine how much I will fall apart when I am. I am, however, in your situation re the loneliness. If you were in Virginia, I would come over with my kitties to keep you company. When you are ready, I encourage you to have a photo of your kitty printed and put in a memorial frame. Pets come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts, after which we are never the same. Many hugs.

   10. So sorry for your loss and sending you all the hugs.

   11. I’m so sorry!! She just died yesterday, so give yourself time to grieve. I had to put my 15 year old dog down on May 18. I was gutted too. Thank goodness it happened on a Saturday because I had the weekend to pull myself together. I’ll tell you, almost 2 weeks later it does get better. I promise. I still miss him like crazy, but it does get better. It’s so hard because a lot of people just don’t understand. I started to cry at my desk a few days ago and someone came up and asked me what was wrong and I lied and told them I just had a coughing spell and got teary-eyed. I commend you for donating your supplies. When you’re ready, get another cat. You are obviously a wonderful pet owner and there are so many cats who need to be adopted. If your cat could talk, she would’ve told you that before she passed. Sending hugs…

   12. Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. I lost my beautiful girl in October 2017 after an acute kidney blockage, surgery, and then a pulmonary embolism. I could not get past the circumstances. Had dreams about it. Drove into a curb and destroyed a tire. So awful. I took some of her medical supplies to a local rescue and they encouraged me to just go sit in the free-range cat room that day. They were so right! Just letting baby kitties crawl all over me helped. When I realized, two weeks later, that I couldn’t keep going how I was, I went back and adopted an 8 month old black cat (on Halloween). She is completely different from my first girl, and such a joyful, playful little beast that I couldn’t help but fall in love with her. I agree with others that having her cremated and getting an urn helps. I have her picture on it, along with my first cat’s ashes (a big boy). It did help to have friends come over and just sit with me. I hope you can find some relief.

   13. Hug’s. Rosa lost her pussycat when she was 15 and she was inconsoleable for month’s. So I know how you feel. She eventually got over it and went to college where she met Ed and now has a nice home and family, including a new puppy, so there is hope for all of us! YAY!

   14. Oh, this is really hard, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it.

       And where in Ohio are you? I’m in SW Ohio and can easily be in Dayton, Cincinnati or Columbus if you need a hang-out over a glass of wine (or some mothering, for that matter; I’m one of the Olds on this board).

       Sending you hugs.

       1. This is so sweet.

       2. Same. I’m in Columbus. Also a bit of an Old and would be happy to buy you some wine/ice cream.

2. Ballpark salary range? NYC non profit — it’s small with 5-6 attorneys (though more policy people etc.). The position I’m looking at is for a deputy director of litigation, so it sits below the legal director in hierarchy. Looking at their filings, the legal director was paid $138k last year, so I have to imagine this position MUST pay lower than that but any guesses how much lower exactly? I’d be coming out of biglaw with 5-6 years litigation experience so I’m not super senior but not right out of law school either.

   Would you guess over 100k? Over 120k?

   1. I would guess 95k. Source: I work at an NGO with lawyers who work in very important legislation. We employ THE expert in our field and even they can’t command a crazy salary.

   2. If you report directly to the legal director, I would guess over 100, maybe over 115

3. Ugh. My parents are on vacation and my father walked into the wrong room at the resort. He apparently didn’t immediately realize he was in the wrong room, and didn’t leave until the people who were staying there showed up and said “who are you?” (He must have given them quite a scare.) My mom thinks he has dementia and is about ready to have him committed. Is this a sure sign of dementia or could this just be a senior moment? He says he remembered his room number and just misread the number on the room he went into, which seems understandable (the numbers are very close, visually). But I think it’s weird/concerning that he didn’t immediately realize he was in a strange room. He’s only 68, and always sort of been the absent-minded type, but this is extreme even for him.

   1. There are no locks on the doors?

      1. For everyone asking about locks/keys, it’s a beach resort and he entered through an unlocked patio door.

         1. That seems really easy to do then.

   2. More details would be needed… a mistake when all rooms look the same and he was there for a minute before the people came in could happen to anyone. A totally different room, there for an hour hanging out like it was his room could be something, this happening on top of other times he’s been lost in familiar places, can’t recall loved one’s names, struggles with words of common items, etc. is something else.

   3. You mom seems over-reacting. I have had relatives with dementia, and believe me, the process leading up to “having them committed” (to what??!? full-time care?) is long, draining, and painful. The entire family sees it coming and grieves over it.

      So if she’s an overreacter who goes into drama mode, tell her to calm down. HOWEVER … IF she’s an ordinarily calm, reasonable, and wise woman, then listen carefully to her. She lives with him and will be seeing things that others will not.

      As an act in and of itself, this is not a big deal. It’s a resort room. They all look alike. He’s absent-minded. It happens. If he’s not the type to notice what’s out the window or that the suitcase in the corner isn’t his, then it sounds pretty normal to me.

   4. I mean, this alone would not necessarily tip the balance for me. Resort rooms all look alike. If he got undressed, used the toiletries and got in bed without realizing it, maybe. But just walking in and flipping on the TV for a bit, I may just watch and see if there are other issues.

   5. How does this happen? Does this resort not have the electronic keys? Electronic keys are keyed to the room you’re staying in and won’t open others’ doors.
      How long was he in there? Long enough to notice that the luggage laying around wasn’t theirs? Or were both rooms pristine with identical hotel furniture (like when you check in) so you really don’t know it’s your room yet?

   6. I would be more concerned if he was getting confused or mixed up in familiar settings, rather than while on vacation.

      I can think of a couple of occasions in the past year when I would have walked into the wrong hotel room if my key had worked – instead I just stood outside the door trying to make the key work until eventually it slowly dawned on me that I was standing at the wrong room. If I were to actually be able to walk into any of these, I have no idea how long it would take me to realize I was in the wrong room – probably whenever I went to get something from my bag. Rooms look a lot alike and often look a bit different than when you left because the maid straightens up. So I’m not even sure this was a “senior moment” – sounds like just some confusion!

      So, I don’t think there’s much to worry about in this case in particular. My grandmother worries that she’s getting dementia every time she can’t remember something (like a crossword clue) so I think that some people are just always on the lookout for anything that might indicate cognitive decline, especially as they get older.

      1. +1 – I was on vacation with my family and did this a few months ago. My dad had to correct me. It might just be confusion especially when all the rooms look the same.

      2. Also, the fact that he not only remembered the room number but also remembers remembering the room number… actually shows that his memory is pretty decent. If it were really because of cognitive issues, it seems more likely that his recollection of going into the room would be hazier or he’d say something like, “I don’t know why I thought that was the room, I just got confused…”

   7. Honestly that sounds like an easy mistake. All hotel rooms look the same.

      1. Yes. It is ok. Dad did this 3 years ago in Acapulco, and he clearly hasn’t lost a step.

   8. How did he get in to the wrong room? If his key let him in, why would he realize it was the wrong place right away?

   9. Ok thanks guys, you’re making me feel better. I wasn’t there, but it definitely sounds like the rooms look similar and he was in there for just a few minutes.

   10. Him not realizing is concerning. And senior moments aren’t really a thing – slower processing is, due to age, but other memory issues are usually tied to something.

       1. Isn’t taking slightly too long to realize you’re in the wrong room pretty much the definition of “slow processing” though? Doesn’t sound like he misremembered anything, she said he knew his room number.

   11. I’ve tried more than once to get into the wrong hotel room, the wrong car, etc. I’m 39. Unless there are a LOT of other signs, I don’t think this one particular mistake is cause for concern. You mom seems awful quick to want to send him away, that seems deeper than fears about dementia!

       1. I’m 45 and once didn’t notice my husband had shaved his facial hair until 3 days later. I will never be a detective! ;)

       2. I’m 29, I legit walked into the men’s bathroom one day when I was running on no sleep and not paying attention to where I was walking. It takes a pattern for it to be a problem!

   12. If he was going into the wrong rooms at home I’d be concerned. This not so much.

4. I work in a very busy organization. I report mainly to one supervisor. We’ve got some high profile projects and some low profile projects, and through a combination of seniority and luck of the draw, I’ve got a substantial portion of the lower-profile (but still quite complicated) projects. Lately, I’ve been feeling that my work has been aggressively triaged in favor of the more interesting work. For the first few months, I felt that this development wasn’t too bad. I understand the need to prioritize among projects. Also, it’s clear that my supervisor trusts my work, and so I’ve been allowed to take a much, much more significant lead on my projects than if I had been assigned to a flashier project. But recently I’ve been having issues with the lack of supervision. I’ve been given a thumbs up for drafts that I don’t think have been seriously read or reviewed, even when I emphasize that my conclusions are contestable or that the issues involved are quite complicated. I will prepare materials for my supervisor for client calls and strategy meetings, and those materials never get read. Because my superiors don’t have time to stay abreast of my projects, I spend more of my time getting others up to speed and less time talking about meaningful issues. Overall, the vote of confidence has been nice, but I no longer feel that I’m developing new skills or enjoying my job much at all.

   Any advice? I’m hoping to transition into a different position in a year or so, so perhaps I should stick it out and enjoy the good references. Would it be worth it to try to get assigned to higher profile projects? Also, assuming that wouldn’t work out (I tried to take this approach about six months ago, and it didn’t really pan out, so I’m not optimistic), do any of you have any strategies for making a supervisor “care” about your work?

   1. This sounds like you are doing good work, and your busy supervisors are prioritizing other things over working with you. When this happened to me, I would provide the draft, for instance, but then schedule a 15-minute in-person meeting a few days later so the boss could provide feedback on the draft (or prep for conference call, or whatever). When we were in the same room, I got better feedback. If you want to make sure she agrees with your conclusions, that’s the place to explicitly review that section and say: “Do you agree with this conclusion?” You may get pushback on setting the meetings but I always felt like it was my obligation to make sure the boss knew what we were putting in front of clients.

   2. If you’re self-directed, this is your perfect opportunity to expand your role. Take the lead on your projects with the attitude of “better to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.” See if you can take those client calls so your supervisor can focus elsewhere and you, who has the best knowledge of the work, can represent it best. And if there’s something faulty in your conclusions, come to better conclusions. What’s holding you back?

5. A close friend did biglaw for 5-6 years and then willingly left to go to a non profit where she very much cares about the cause. It was a huge paycut. She went in for about 75k. So it’s been 8-9 years at the non profit, she’s in her mid 40s and she’s mentioned more than once recently that she needs to have better benefits for retirement. I don’t actually think the non profit has bad benefits – I think there’s a 4-6% 401k match (which is way more than the 0% we had in biglaw), but I think the issue is that even as her salary has gone up to 100k or close to it, it’s tight living in NYC so she doesn’t have the ability to contribute much to the 401k.

   So she’s looking at new jobs and tells me she’s close to an offer at a solo law firm that she’s excited about. Except then she tells me – the base is lower than what she’s paid now! She has the ability to make more $$ if she brings in business but her guess is that’d be like 10k or 20k more per year not like 50 or 100k. She didn’t mention it but my first thought – no way a solo firm is paying you any kind of retirement match, if they even have a 401k plan at all.
   My view on money talk – listen but don’t say much and don’t ask. But now I’m kind of like – you’re 44, you’re not saving much for retirement and haven’t been for nearly a decade, you live in NYC and tell me all the time you’d never leave because you’re born and raised . . . if you don’t start investing a ton NOW, when are you going to do it? Time value of money being what it is, getting a job with a great match (or even no match but a high enough salary that you can hit the IRS max) is way better for you at 45 than 55. She’s also single/not a trust fund person so it’s not like someone else can help fund this.

   Would you say anything? MYOB? If you’d say anything – what? I am leaning towards MYOB, but then I’m like – guys talk about this stuff all the time and I think that’s part of why they come out ahead financially because they have friends who say – you went from 250k+ to 75k and now you’re considering another pay cut when retirement is already an issue?

   1. Personally, I would say something if she was expressing concerns. Once and nicely, and then let it dry up unless she asks for advice.

      I would start by asking something along the lines of., Have you figured out how you’re in a safe retirement at your new job? And then see what she says

      1. +1. Say it once, then move on.

   2. She has 15 years of experience. Surely she can find a job paying her more tha $100,000 in NYC. She should be more aggressive about looking for jobs – a larger non-profit, a small or mid-size firm, anything.

      The thing about people who say that they “just can’t” live anywhere but NYC is that they tend to eventually live somewhere else, because they can no longer afford it.

      1. Agree with you, but this is a person who is VERY particular about what she’ll do even if there’s more money in something else. Will only work at a non profit servicing X mission (which is a very defined mission that most larger NPs don’t do); will only work in X area of a solo firm even if there’s another solo firm where you’d do X + other work and make 30k more. I don’t say anything about it. People have their own choices. It’s just with retirement I’m like — this is how women end up behind at retirement compared to men and the I’ll never leave NYC thing doesn’t help. Per the advice above, if she raises it, I may mention retirement once and then drop it.

   3. It depends on how close you are, but if she’s mentioned retirement more than once to you, be her mirror and reflect that back to her. Say, you’ve said to me more than once that you’re concerned about retirement and salary. Is there something about this job that makes it better than where you are now?

      1. This is how I would say it, too.

   4. Why is this your business?

      1. Because it’s what a good friend would care about.

6. Any attorneys in smaller cities on? I have only worked in big cities my entire career (about 15 years out of law school now) and am starting a new job in my small town (about two hours from a major metro area) in government. I am not super thrilled about this job (significant pay cut, for starters) but it was the best I could find (i’m a trailing spouse) and am determined to find something better in the next year. My background is litigation (was a Fed for almost a decade, and clerking and biglaw before that) and would love an in house position but I know those are almost impossible to get (setting aside the fact that there are so few of those opportunities in my small city (it’s about 120,000 people). I plan to network quite a bit once I start the new job, join the womens’ lawyers association, etc. but am open to ideas and suggestions!

   1. Ex-attorney in a small city here, “ex” largely because the job opportunities for me in my similarly-sized city were so awful. Admittedly, I’m in a very conservative state (Midwest, but with a more Southern culture) but the bar here is old white men who are openly racist and misogynistic (moreso the former than the latter, but it was extremely uncomfortable for me, even as a white person with a white spouse). Are you trailing an academic spouse? In-house opportunities in the university are probably your best bet and your spouse can and should negotiate to help you get one.

      1. Sorry, I should have clarified that I moved for my spouse, not trailing him per se. I would love to work at the local large state university but I have never seen an in house position open up there! The only advantage this place has going for it is that it’s fairly liberal (in CA) but it is super white and as a WOC I really feel out of place, ugh. Thank you!

         1. Is there a county courthouse in your area? You could go could associate with a local firm and build a practice.

   2. What’s in your town and/or driveable to your town? I don’t imagine you can commute 2 hrs each way to the metro area. So get to know EVERY law firm and company in the area – get to know people at each of them and have constant feelers out there that you’re looking to jump and just took your current job as a starter (though obviously say it in some way that it won’t turn into gossip that gets back to your job).

      Is the job you’re starting in law or something else? Would you like it aside from pay or is it just literally what you took because it was the only option hiring?

      1. The job is still in law, in state government. I’m honestly not sure if I’d like it outside of the pay because it is a new practice area for me, but in any event I know I don’t want to get paid this little if I can avoid it (my pay as a fed was decent since I was maxed out, and this is almost 30k less). We are financially stable because of my husband’s job but I feel very angry about not being paid what I am worth, as irrational as that sounds. I will definitely try and use my contacts with area firms to out feelers out as you said. Sadly almost nothing is available in my town (small city in CA) and as you said 2 hours is way too far to commute. Thank you!

         1. If you moved from a fed job in a big city (dc?) to a small town, your cost of living has almost assuredly gone down. So you may be making less in absolute dollars, but I wouldn’t look at it as a pay cut. It’s a market correction.

            If that is the only reason you are looking, I would be open to your new job. It sounds like you’re making 130, which is good for a small town attorney

            1. No, sadly the new city is very expensive (beach city). It’s not much cheaper than my old metro area. Hence my being upset about the relatively low pay.

            2. Even if the cost of living is not lower because it is a beach town, the average salaries are likely lower than the big cities that you moved from. I still think that if the only reason you’re upset about the job is because of the salary, you need to figure out whether it really as an inappropriately low salary or jobs in your new small town just pay less

         2. What city in California?

            1. I’m guessing that she’s somewhere like Santa Barbara.

            2. Or San Luis Obispo

      2. I wonder, too, if you can move a little further from your husband’s job and a little closer to Metro Center. Like I live anywhere from 1-3 hours from LA, depending on traffic and where in “LA” you’re headed, but plenty of my neighbors work in LA or other far off lands. Some do silly schedules, like 5AM-3PM or whatever to avoid traffic, some take the train, some work 1/2 remote or other non-traditional schedules, but people do it. I could fathom a couple that lived in say, Diamond Bar, and one person worked in LA and one worked in Riverside. LA worker would have a long train ride, or a pretty crappy drive, but also you don’t have to work in downtown — you can half the commute if instead you work in say, Whittier? (Not giving actual city advice, just saying that this is how people think about it, from what I’ve observed.)

   3. IANAL, but I am married to one in a small town (15k people). Networking here is more regional- my official semi-annual networking group spans 6 cities, just to fill a small room. A lot of organizations run on county, or 2 county, areas, instead of the town. DH gets together with coworkers and former coworkers for movies, and its a question of who will drive an hour to the movie theatre in the other town.
      Also, I think DH (and I, by association) have been lucky that his current office has great dynamics. But all of the networking is male-oriented. Less golf (that’s my office’s thing) and more action movies and gaming. But, OTOH, I know for certain that the two women enjoy those, so…Good luck? I hope you find a good fit?

   4. Hi, small city (~48,000 people) litigator here! I grew up in a very large city and lived/worked about half of my adult life in a different very large city before I moved to my current town. I LOVE it – I have actually turned down an in-house opportunity in a big city to stay.

      My firm would probably be considered very small by readers on this site, but it is considered medium to large regionally. We handle cases that are as interesting and challenging as any that my larger-town friends work on. The pay is lower than it would be elsewhere, but so is the COL, which has allowed us to purchase a home and several investment properties in a pretty short amount of time. Even the state bar is small, and people tend to be friendly and welcoming because you will be working with or against each other for many years to come. I have found it really easy to make friends by volunteering and getting involved in the community. It’s also really fun to personally know and support all of our downtown business owners.

      I’m not sure what other advice or suggestions I could offer, but I did want you to hear some small-town positives! It may turn out better than you think.

      1. Thank you, this makes me feel better! I’m still angry at my spouse for me having to be the one to move, but it just made more sense for us in terms of the big picture. I think I would be more okay with the move if the COL was lower – but it’s not! It’s onky marginally cheaper than the large metro area I came from, with much fewer opportunities. I’m hoping I’ll adjust in time.

         1. Honestly, what can be really frustrating about a lot of smaller communities (not all, but many, esp. in states like CA) is that the salaries adjust way downward, but housing prices are not commensurately small.

         2. Presuming you haven’t bought a house, you can look for jobs within about 90 minutes of the university, and split the commute. I was fortunate to find a job on the outskirts of the major metro area. My commute is still long, but it’s not undoable, and my husband went from a 5 minute commute to a 40 minute commute so I could have a job that I like.

         3. I don’t know if the city you’re talking about is Santa Barbara, but this is certainly a problem there and legal positions at the university are extremely limited and might pay even less than what you’re getting now. Cost of living is about the same as LA, but commuting to LA isn’t really feasible. I think you just need to be okay with the fact that salaries are going to be lower and the tradeoff is that you get the beach town lifestyle instead big city. If you that’s not worth it, you probably don’t want to live there.

            1. And for anyone who’s interested, since this board is full of lawyers (I’m not one), most of the legal positions for the University of California system are run centrally through the Office of the President in the Bay Area, which means there aren’t many positions at the local campuses, at least not the kind of jobs that pay salaries like this poster is looking for.

7. How far is it from Anaheim to Laguna Beach? Is this feasible as a day trip if one is staying at Disneyland? Is it worth it for people who like beaches, hiking etc?

   1. Totally possible! If I may, I’d suggest Crystal Cove — the parking situation is easy (you park across the street from the beach — the street being PCH — and then take a charming little bus, the Beachcomber, to the beach itself) and there’s a restaurant, and old timey cottages, etc. I think it’s really beautiful, and its in a state park with hikes etc. And it’s a teensy bit closer than Laguna.

      If you just want a flat, expansive, beach-beach, try Huntington.

   2. It’s a 30 minute drive. This is easily googleable, which is what I just did. You’re welcome.

      1. I think Google is a little overly optimistic.

         1. Yeah, Google Maps says it takes 30 minutes to drive from SF to Palo Alto. It has taken me up to 3 hours, which is pretty different.

            1. HAHAHAHAHA

      2. That is actually with traffic, right now.

         1. It’s still not always that accurate and traffic varies hugely based on day/time.

   3. Sure. It’s about 40 minutes with ideal traffic, 1.5 hours more realistically. It’s nice, it’s a beach, it’s pretty developed and I wouldn’t say great for hiking, but if you just want a add a beach day it’s perfectly doable!

   4. Yes, definitely doable! The earlier you can get on the road, the better. I’d say it would take you just short of an hour to get there. Top of the World hike is nearby, and I highly suggest Gelato Paradiso!

8. Debating getting a dress from Zuri (link below to avoid mod) but am second guessing myself.

   It’s a company that buys beautiful cloth from different sources in various African countries and manufactures garments in a small piecework factory in Nairobi. From my research it seems that the owners of the business are not native to the African continent do seem to be taking efforts to be responsible business owners such as it were.

   I am a generic looking 30 something white woman living in a major NE city.

   Is it ok for me to wear one of these dresses? I don’t want to seem exploitative or like I am appropriating the culture.

   I like the dresses because they seem to be well-cut, breezy summer dresses in really cheerful patterns.

   1. Others may have a differing opinion, but wearing clothing in Western styles using African fabric produced by African artisans is very different than wearing a full cultural or event specific outfit out of context (I say out of context because it is very common for non-Africans to wear African dress to or if you’re in a wedding – although this varies by culture).

   2. https://www.shopzuri.com/collections/all

   3. Yes, that’s 100% fine. What would not be fine is NOT supporting African artisans because…it’s offensive? Don’t understand people who pursue that line of thought.

   4. They’ve got some great patterns – and most, while bold, combined with the cut, don’t read as anything other than a boldly-patterned garment. Some are similar to what I’ve seen from Marimekko – about as far from African as you could possibly get.

   5. These dresses look awesome—I’m tempted to get one. Go for it. I see 0 risk of looking like you’re being disrespectful of another culture.

9. I literally just realized that while DH and kiddo are at MIL’s, I have the evening to myself! WWYD? I am considering a pedi, or going shopping. Normally I’d text a friend for drinks, but I’m trying to avoid alcohol and kind of trying to embrace being alone. Maybe I’ll go to hot yoga!

   1. If the weather is nice I’d sit outside with a book or some magazines and maybe enjoy some delivery food, especially if it’s something your family doesn’t like. If you’d rather stay in, I love going to the movies by myself. I’d also eat at a nice restaurant by myself – I do it a lot.

   2. If I were you, I would go out and get a bottle of wine and enjoy by the fireplace! Yay!

   3. Get a pedi, eat stuff your family doesn’t like, read a book, work out, enjoy the quiet.

   4. I would probably go for a job or to yoga, then eat take-out in my bed (I like to do this but don’t want my kids to know haha!) while watching trashy TV. Maybe also take a bubble bath.

   5. Go shopping! Especially if you don’t have time to do it when the hubby/kids are home. I love to go to TJ Maxx or Marshall’s and look at everything. You’ll probably find some hidden gems.

   6. This is my dream. I’d go workout (for me Orangetheory, or maybe yoga), get sushi takeout, and eat on the couch in front of the TV.

   7. Ha, what a delight! I tend to cook my favorite single-gal meals (usually roasted brussels sprouts and like, something with pesto) and turn on dancey music.

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