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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This dress looks like preppy perfection to me. The reddish-orange, white, and black colorblock is so pretty, and the belt is super flattering. Cap sleeves can be tricky, but I like the look of this with the boat neckline. Also, how cute are these shoes that they’ve styled it with?
The dress is $150 and available in sizes 2–22. It also comes in a navy/aqua/green colorblock. Vera Belted Knitted Dress
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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
LaurenB
Cute dress. Hey, I want to apologize if I’ve been snarky over the last few days. I have been grieving over my 100 yo grandmother who died earlier this month and it’s been stronger than I thought. I was very close to her, she was in a nursing home 1000 miles away that was ravaged with COVID, and all we could do is get pictures of her in the casket and at the burial site that the funeral home sent as no one could attend her funeral. I realize that I have been carrying a lot of stress around related to this, so sorry if I have not been understanding and compassionate like I try to be. I also realize that not attending a funeral pales in comparison to some of the struggles others are having, such as balancing child care and working, or losing a job or a small business you’ve poured your life into. (Though it is greater than determining whether David Yurman jewelry is dated, LOL.)
Anon
I’m sorry for your loss-that is really difficult to have to grieve/process in such an abstract way.
Anon
I’m so sorry about your grandmother, Lauren. That is hard. My best to you and your family.
Ribena
All love and hugs from me. This stuff is tough and we’re all reacting in ways we’re not proud of.
Monday
+1. And it’s admirable to post a reflection/apology.
My typical go-to emotional reaction to anything upsetting is anger. Lately I have been isolating from coworkers because I’m afraid that if I speak freely, I’ll snap at them.
Cb
Yep, me too!
Anon
So sorry for your loss, LaurenB. That is tough. May her memory be a blessing.
Ribena
I’d like to ask about the phrase ‘May their memory be a blessing.’ I understand it’s one that is particularly used in Jewish communities? It’s such a beautiful way to phrase a response to loss and I’d love to borrow it – is that appropriate to do?
LaurenB
I’m only half Jewish so a) I recognized the phrase and internally smiled and b) I hereby grant you permission to use it, there’s no trademark!
Abby
Hey LaurenB, I admire you for posting an apology. I’m really sorry to hear about your grandmother, and I empathize because my family went through a similar situation with my aunt.
I found this article very helpful for me when this all started: https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR1NrpfnzQEzKwK157jPQZ66XNT5IoR1m6-8iKqp3T8JJvSrdgvX1fYESKE.
What really hit home was:
“We tell ourselves things like, I feel sad, but I shouldn’t feel that; other people have it worse. We can — we should — stop at the first feeling. I feel sad. Let me go for five minutes to feel sad. Your work is to feel your sadness and fear and anger whether or not someone else is feeling something. Fighting it doesn’t help because your body is producing the feeling. If we allow the feelings to happen, they’ll happen in an orderly way, and it empowers us. Then we’re not victims.”
Don’t downplay your own situation just because it’s not the worst case scenario. Hugs to you and your family
anononon
+1
anon
+1
Anon
Agree so much. I’ve found that “but other people have it worse!” to be incredibly counterproductive to my emotional well-being. There are times in life when you can choose to be happy, but other times are just hard.
Lyssa
I’m sorry for your loss, and that you have to deal with that situation. I’m sure her life is very much worth celebrating, and I hope that your family can join together to memorialize her soon.
Lilliet
So sorry for your loss, hang in there. You’re brave for posting an apology. I’ve been flying through the podcast Staying In with Emily & Kumail as a lighthearted bright spot in my week, if you would like a pick me up. I forget which episode, but Emily covers the “your grief and sadness doesn’t need to compare to the worst case scenario out there to be valid” points in one episode. And, I at least agree with you regarding David Yurman–I’m sorry I was MIA the day that thread happened (ha!) I would have backed you up.
anon
I’m sorry for your loss. And your grief doesn’t pale in comparison to other people’s grief or stress or struggles. Allow yourself to be sad.
Anon
I’m so sorry for your loss. FWIW, no apology needed. I found the people attacking very unfair and I don’t see how name calling and “shut up” and “I hate seeing your posts” was an appropriate response to your posts about how we need to do more to consider the vulnerable in our quarantine efforts. Please keep on posting; I like seeing posts with opinions!
anon
Exactly what I came here to say. And sorry for your loss, Lauren.
go for it
+1 It takes great humility and self awareness to apologize. You are a phenomenal example to all whom read here.
My sympathies for your loss.
Samantha
+1 Sympathies.
And admire your bravery.
Jules
Agreed. Thank you for sharing this, and I am sorry for your loss and for the loss of the normal ways to ease the pain by grieving with your family.
anne-on
I”m so sorry for your loss, to not be able to gather with family in person and say goodbye must be incredibly difficult.
As others said better – you’re allowed to be sad, even if others ‘have it worse’. I hope you can sit with your feelings and then try to process your grief in whichever ways feel most natural – journaling? looking at old photos? Calling your family to talk about your memories? All my best.
Never too many shoes...
I am so sorry, Lauren. May her memory be a blessing.
My best friend’s mother died last week (at home and not Covid so they were at least able to be there) but not being able to have a funeral where everyone can be together is making things so much worse. Everything is terrible – everyone is allowed to be sad without qualifying it.
AIMS
I’m very sorry for your loss. I don’t think it’s any less valid to grieve right now just because other people may be dealing with something worse. And I think the fact that you’re thinking about how it might be affecting your reaction to others now speaks very highly for your compassion and empathy; I think you’d be perfectly justified to just focus on your grief for a little. hugs.
LaurenB
Thank you all. The good thing is that I was able to fly in and see her in mid-February before this all began, so I feel that I said my goodbyes to her. I also spoke with the doctor who pronounced her dead and it appears to have been a peaceful passing, so I can take comfort in that. (Of course, there’s a part of me that says – if I were a doctor in a nursing home, I’d tell everyone their loved ones died peacefully – what’s the point of saying otherwise?) So speaking of essential workers – the funeral home could not have been nicer, given the circumstances and how overwhelmed they have been in general.
LaurenB
I should also clarify it is not believed she died of COVID; it is believed to be a natural passing, though there was COVID in the nursing home (which we were made aware of).
anon
I’m very sorry for your loss, Lauren. That sounds tremendously difficult, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to downplay your experience. I respect and appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and share your self-reflection with us. FWIW, I was someone who was growing weary of some of the hard-line social distancing posts and your comment this morning has inspired a more compassionate reaction to those posters from me.
Vicky Austin
Hey, this is really brave and compassionate of you. Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you peace.
Pure Imagination
I’m very sorry for your loss. What a gift to have been close to your 100-year-old grandmother! You are a good person and it’s always come through in your posts.
Anon
I was definitely one of the posters critical of you yesterday, and I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss, and I respect the hell out of you for positing this – we all grieve in different ways and that had to be extremely difficult for you to go through.
Anon
Me too, and I’m sorry I didn’t step back to consider that everyone is having a hard time and it comes out in different ways.
Anonymous
Hugs and thank you. It’s a lot for all of us in different ways and grief comes out in ways that are unpredictable and unpleasant. Sorry for your loss
Asia Anon
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Housecounsel
I feel so bad for you and all others who have to grieve without the comfort of traditional gatherings. I’m glad you’re part of this community.
Senior Attorney
I’m so sorry for your loss, Lauren. When my father-in-law passed away some years ago at age 95, somebody sent me a card that said “it’s always too soon to say goodbye to someone you love,” and I think that’s so true. May her memory be a blessing to you.
Anon
Hi Lauren,
I’m so sorry for your loss. These things affect us more than we know. When my mom died (pre-COVID) I was business as usual in terms of my day to day, but questioning what I was doing with my life internally all the time, and I’m sure that came out in weird ways.
I like that we can (hopefully respectfully) debate both shelter in place policies AND whether Yurman jewelry is dated around here!
Finally Made a Name
I’m very sorry for your loss, and I hope that your happy memories of your grandma provide you with comfort. Our relationships absolutely are the most important things in life. I hope you take some time to grieve in whatever way makes sense. I lost 2 loved ones to COVID19 and made up a quarantine ritual that made sense to me because I longed for funeral services as closure. Thinking of you!
Anonymous
Why a conditional apology, though? “I’m sorry IF I have not been understanding and compassionate?” When several commenters have called you out over the last few weeks, it’s not an option for them not to have been upset by your words. I do recognize your loss and send you my condolences, but dear me if the partial apology doesn’t grate like a shopping cart on cobblestone.
Anon
What you and a lot of other posters in the last few days don’t seem to realize is that you don’t have a right not to be offended or upset. It’s okay if LaurenB challenged your views or expressed a different opinion or didn’t strike your ideal tone. If you find her post so upsetting, you need to consider a step back from this forum. It’s open to all and it’s not her job to make sure her views are liked by all. I thought yesterday’s pile-on of several regular posters was shameful and childish.
Also, you are guilty of your own conditional apology in your post.
Anon
+1 to the pile-on
I appreciated the civil tone of this morning’s entire post until this person’s entry was added
January
Really?!
Anonymous
Seriously? What is wrong with you?
Anon
Anonymous, you’re the odd man out here. I suggest you find another place.
Anon
You know, I thought more about this. Maybe take some time to figure out why you’re so angry that you need a different kind of apology from Lauren (which it seems we all agree she doesn’t owe you.)
Maybe it’s stress about the covid situation, or your job, or some other life situation.
You seem to have personified it as this poster on an anonymous board that you feel personally victimized by, but I guarantee you that is not it. Take the time to feel your feelings and recognize where they come from.
It’s really, really hard to feel powerless, as many of us do right now, and easy to lash out at a person you think is taking the power form you, rather than just acknowledging that none of us have power over the current situation.
Ses
Late to see this due to an overwhelming work week, but I’m sorry for your loss and want to add my condolences. I hope you and your family are finding peace and comfort in your memories of her.
Ellen
LaurenB, I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs from the entire hive. We are all on edge these days, but you have a special situation that you do not need to apologize for. We all love each other here and we all have to think positive! Yesterday, US Airforce Thunderbirds and the US Navy Blue Angels jets flew over NYC yesterday . I was in tears (of joy) b/c I so proud of them!!!! They literally provided a real “lift” to all of us, especially the dedicated health care workers who have done so much to keep the virus curve down. We will prevail over this miserable virus, and I pray every day we will go back to our normal lives soon! Let’s all just hang in there! YAY!!!!!!!!!
Paging / thanking Berlin 'Rettes
Good morning! I was looking over notes for our planned April trip to Berlin, and re-read the lovely comments from you. I’m so grateful for the time you took to write.
How are things, there? Sending you good wishes.
BB
Not a Berlin-rette, but I love, love Berlin! Here’s to things improving so we can travel again! We were supposed to be in Vienna next week :(
Ribena
My mum sent me a newspaper cut out from months ago about visiting Vienna. I’ve been three times in the last 18 months but I want to be back again! Made do with drinking Vienna Pale beer on Saturday instead…..
Anon
Ribena, would it be at all feasible for you to look for work in Vienna and live there for a few years?
Ribena
Yes! I had planned to maybe make an international move at the end of this year but the middle of next year now looks more feasible. It’s more than a vague idea, that’s for sure. I have to figure out how to rent my flat out while I’m gone, but I have started the research there too.
Anon
Do it! I’m in my 50s now and said no to an international opportunity in my 20s, and have kicked myself ever since.
Ribena
Yeah! My current role comes up at the end of this year and I should be able to get another few months’ extension after that – plan is to post something really openly searching on my LinkedIn and work my contacts network as much as I can. My current manager wants to help me get there too, so no awkwardness there, luckily. I lived abroad (south Germany) for the year I was 20/21 on study abroad and really enjoyed it.
Cb
We were there this time last year and the google photo reminders are making me sad. I hope you get to go soon!
Louisa
I remember commenting on that thread. I live elsewhere in Germany, but go to Berlin a lot to see friends and plan to do so again as soon as things have relaxed enough, probably in about a month. Berlin had a relatively small corona outbreak for its size. Looks like Berlin have 1k active cases and 137 deaths in a 3.7 million population. Cases have been declining sharply there, like everywhere else in the country, for 3-4 weeks now, despite media hand-wringing about the notoriously anti-authoritarian Berliners hanging out in parks. I notice a lot of enjoyment of outside areas in my city too, where official parks are closed but corona cases are down to like 1-2 per day. Police have been much less present the past 2-3 weeks, as well. As for Berlin, demonstrations for the first of May, some permitted, some not (as is the case every year), will go ahead on Friday while attempting to maintain 2m distance between participants. The new airport was even cleared this week to open in October after, literally, 10 years of delays. The city government passed a 5-year rent freeze at the start of the year, which I think is a really great step. Even if it’s just hanging out on the bank of the Spree and visiting museums at pre-booked times meant to limit visitors, I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve never been to the Stasi museum at Hohenschönhausen, for example, which will re-open on Monday. Even though the economic crisis is bearing down on me personally pretty hard, I’m trying to maintain hope. Berlin still being Berlin helps!
Moonstone
Here’s one view of what Berlin is like right now:
https://anotherchicagomagazine.net/2020/04/25/dispatch-from-a-pandemic-berlin-by-cary-nathenson/
Crop tops
My tweens have grown explosively due to being shut in, having little sunlight, and not the best physical exercise over the past 1.5 months. From looking through online pictures for them to see what they like (their uniform-only school is shut for the year and next year they will be at non-uniform schools), it seems that crop tops are here. And not just to-the-natural-waist crops, but cropped above that crops. Between that and the mom jeans, I think it is . . . 1986? Is acid wash next? Perms?
Anonymous
My teen is in love with gigantic white sneakers that look straight out of the ’80s.
Don’t buy any school clothes until you’ve seen the dress code. 90 percent of the stuff in the tween/teen stores would get my kid sent home from school.
Anonymous
I hear you! This is just the April-September clothes (largely regular t-shirts from Old Navy). And they still prefer skorts to shorts (IDK why — our summer is so swampy that the extra fabric seems like a nuisance if it’s not super-wicking). I’m glad they are still merely tweens. And their 80s fashion is to wear way oversized things, so I’m good with that. I give my men’s medium free t-shirts straight to them. I have no idea what medium sized men wear, but tall skinny girls are taking their clothes.
Anonymous
Get them some black Nike shorts to wear under their giant t-shirts, and they can be VSCO girls.
Anonymous
I thought that VSCO was a last-summer thing.
pugsnbourbon
+1. I like and wear crop tops, and I hope that dress codes have become less overtly sexist than they were 19 years ago when I started high school, but bare midriffs seem like a bright line in the sand.
Cue flashbacks to standing with all the other girls in my class with our hands at our sides to make sure our shorts were long enough, and then raising our arms to make sure our tops didn’t ride up and reveal an inch of skin (gasp).
Abby
The shorts longer than fingertips was SO ANNOYING. Teen me couldn’t help that I had gangly arms and legs and if I wanted shorts that were “long enough” I might as well wear capris.
pugsnbourbon
Same! I’ve got long goblin arms (skinny wrists, GIANT hands) so shorts were weekends-only. I did wear the crap out of a pair of khaki cargo capris … which were of course low-rise … with the Roxy tees I found at TJMaxx … it was A Look for someone in rural Ohio.
Abby
this is so funny, I think I have big hands/long fingers, with skinny wrists. Never thought of myself as a goblin. And now I will never be able to think of anything else. I believe high school created my mentality of skirts & dresses>>>>
pugsnbourbon
Oh no, I’m sorry Abby! I was using goblin in a sort of self-deprecating way. Didn’t mean to imply that others with a similar build are goblin-y.
Abby
no no I have the same humor. Not offended, it made me laugh and smile no worries!
Seventh Sister
I have proportionally short arms, so I could always pass the fingertip test. It was SO sexist and ridiculous. That said, I think I was asked about this *maybe* twice in high school because I was a nerd. Also my locker and backpack were never searched because nerds can’t have contraband OTC drugs on them (even though I always had Advil).
Thanks, It Has Pockets!
Ugh, there were a few older teachers who were total hardasses about us having no skin show when you sit down, bend over, or raise your hand. Nowadays I’m still super self-conscious of that, and I now insist on wearing shirts that overlap with my jeans so no one side-eyes me for “dressing like I’m at the beach.”
I did start wearing cropped tops to work out last year, but only sometimes, and only to some studios, like hot yoga, and spin classes where the room is gonna be dark the whole time.
Seventh Sister
In my school, it was 100% okay for the cheerleaders (and since it was 1994 they were just popular girls who couldn’t dance very well) to wear their super-short uniform skirts with the matching polyester panties to class for “school spirit.”
It’s either hilarious or weird (probably both) that my high school quiz bowl team coaches actually encouraged me to wear short skirts for competitions in order to distract the opposing teams. I was skinny and jumpy but also female (quiz bowl was like 95% male) so maybe it worked. I dunno.
Senior Attorney
Right? We’ve been watching The Sopranos and last night Meadow and her late 90s friends were rocking outfits including giant sneakers that would be perfectly au courant right now!
Away Game
I think my closet circa 1987 had replicas of what I see in some ads. [I shudder quietly, lest my views generate Oppositeville instincts.] Know your tween and her cohort, though – there is a lot more variation in real life at school and where tweens congregate in summer (when possible, obvs)- and they may not know yet herself what will be “in” in August/September. My tween hates crop tops and shops almost exclusively in the boys’ section of Hollister, Old Navy, and American Eagle. Her friends are doing the same. For every middle school girl I saw last year in short shorts, there was at least one in almost knee-length basketball shorts. Consider buying enough to get them through, but not necessarily stocking up.
Anonymous
There is a lot of style variation among tween/teen peer groups, but virtually zero variation within each group. When I see groups of teen girls together I’m always struck by how identically they are dressed. Like six girls all wearing the exact same shoes, the exact same shorts, and very similar t-shirts. I think my daughter’s entire gymnastics team owns identical Birkenstocks and Nike Pro shorts.
Anon
This is so true.
Newsie
But one wears the blue plaid flannel and one wears the red plaid flannel and that variation makes them feel wildly individualistic.
No Longer Anon
My cousin is graduating high school- SO true. Her friend group is a big fan of the “sporty chic” look. Lots of flannels, Patagonia retools, black jeans. In different patterns, but still totally interchangeable.
Vicky Austin
Ding ding ding. Wow. How did I not see that before?
anon
I think you nailed tween dressing. I notice the same thing in our neighborhood!
anon
I remember battling with my dad over shirts back in the day. I wouldn’t even classify my shirts as crops, but they did show a sliver of skin when I lifted my arms. My super conservative father was not pleased. But he never gave me money so that I could shop like Kate Middleton so….
Housecounsel
My oldest goes to college in California and she is allllll about the crop tops. My middle goes to college in NC and dresses completely differently, mostly in college sweatshirts and yoga pants. My youngest, a tween, wears a uniform for school, but she basically hasn’t changed out of pajamas since we have been locked down.
Anon
I’m on the west coast so my 19 y.o. daughter has been in mom jeans for 3-4 years now. And because they’re high waisted, really the only figure flattering thing to wear with them is a top that ends at the waist. It’s… a look … but I remind myself that I like it a lot better than the lululemon leggings worn with a crop top.
A lot of teens are into buying gently used clothing. Have your daughters checked out places like Mercari, Depop, and Etsy?
Anon
Forgot to address shoes – 90% of the time it’s rainbows (flip flops) or Birkenstocks. She will begrudgingly wear closed shoes if it rains, but only if it seems like it’s going to rain all day. Closed shoes are either Vans or Blundstone boots. (We are in the Bay Area)
Nursing homes
Yikes — I read that in NYC, nursing homes were made to take in people with active covid-19. That seems so unwise — vulnerable residents, staff that likely didn’t have access to the PPE reserved for hospitals, privacy rules that prevent families from finding out how your relative may be affected by the health of a roommate or other residents. Not good.
Anonymous
I was horrified when I read that article.
TheElms
I have a friend whose family member is in this situation. She normally lives in a nursing home, got Covid-19, was admitted to hospital, recovered enough to be discharged, and is now in a rehab center. The Rehab center is segregated by floor and if she is able to return to her nursing home, her nursing home will be segregated by floor. Its not perfect, but I think the facilities are doing the best they can with the resources they have.
Anonymous
I agree that the facilities are doing the best they can, but WTF New York State for sending a place full of vulnerable residents and scarce PPE very very sick people and giving them no choice but to accept it! We were told to stay home lest people be denied ventilators and yet nursing home workers and patients are put on the chopping block and treated as if they are expendable. Why couldn’t the nearly empty hospitals in NY have wings for these people to convalesce in??? Other than ERs and ICUs, hospitals have shuttered for non-emergent care and a half-empty hospital or empty dorms or the Javits center seems to be better than a shared-ventilation nursing home full of old people who likely have significant co-morbidities for this disease. Not to mention staff who I guess it is OK to sacrifice??? There were better choices. NY State government failed its most vulnerable people.
LaurenB
The nursing home where my grandmother was at (not NY State) stopped accepting new people, but they also isolated all their COVID patients. The problem as I understand it is this: Let’s say a 98 yo woman with no family in the area falls, and requires hospital, then rehab, then nursing home care. Right now, Medicare covers the hospital and X days of rehab; she then has to pay out of pocket for the nursing home til she’s exhausted assets and then Medicaid kicks in. (This was the scenario that my grandmother faced, though she died prior to going on Medicaid.) Now suppose this 98 yo woman was found to have COVID – what do you do with her once her immediate hospitalization needs are done with? The hospital won’t keep her, and she still needs rehab and nursing home care. You can’t put her in a wheelchair and wheel her to the bus stop. It’s a really tough situation. I would also note that moving some of these old people around is not as easy as it seems. I wish I knew the solution. You can’t “invent” COVID-only nursing homes out of thin air.
Anonymous
What do they do with homeless people? I have heard that they actually do get put in a wheelchair and wheeled to the bus stop. Maybe not if they are 95. I know they also have to keep kids sometimes when they can’t be discharged to safe homes (e.g., in a big western state, families may live ~5 hours from the hospital their kid is in for a kidney problem; if they are both alcoholics or addicts living in a trailer that sometimes gets the power shut off (so no power, no heat in winter) and you need to keep their insulin cold, you can’t discharge that kid and IDK whether there are foster families who can take medically fragile kids).
Anon
My grandmother-in-law is in a weird situation. She is in an assisted living/skilled nursing facility that does not do memory care. Her conditioned has progressed and she is now trying to leave the facility despite not being allowed to. The facility now sees her as a risk (they found her in the parking lot the other night) so they want to discharge her. Her condition is beyond what my family could care for at home. Other facilities are saying they are not accepting new patients during COVID. I think the old facility has to keep her and maybe step up their supervision of her but I don’t know. Who do we force? Old facility? New facility? Family?
Anon
Re: homeless folks, my city is putting them up in local hotels. Not really an option for people who need skilled nursing care, but maybe okay for more ambulatory folks.
Anon
For the homeless, my city has fenced off camps under bridges and provided tents, porta potties, hand washing stations and security.
anon
Anon at 10:47… new facility I’d think, with mutual pressure applied to old facility that they hang on to her as long as they possibly can? Can she be kept in isolation for 14 days at current facility before a transfer? Is current facility part of a larger network or owner that has MC within their portfolio? I’d bet that allows for the two facility to communicate more clearly. Does she have a social worker or anything like that at current facility?
I can say definitely based on my profession (sorry I can’t divulge more) there are facilities accepting new patients on a very limited basis. Maybe not the one most convenient to where other family lives or the cheapest, but there SHOULD be an option out there if shes in a remotely dense area and her she risks losing her spot in the current facility.
I’m so sorry. There are countless seemingly impossible scenarios out there that are just so sad.
Anonymous
Terrible. This is blood on Cuomo’s hands. There should have been covid only facilities that took discharged patients. Introducing them to nursing homes seems beyond reckless.
Anonymous
This. And nursing homes said they’d be sending residents to their deaths, which turned out to be true.
Anonymous
I agree this is deeply problematic, but also … where are people who lived in nursing homes pre-COVID supposed to go once they are ready to leave the hospital?
Anonymous
OBVS keep them as there is no safer place. But don’t make a bad situation horrifically worse!!! Make an empty wing a segregation wing, you know, so your hospital doesn’t get overwhelmed when the sick go out and make their roommates and staff and floormates sick.
anon
I think there are better solutions but I disagree that the hospital is a safe place for anyone. It’s never good to spend any more time than absolutely necessary in a hospital. Agree with posters above who suggested using the no longer needed overflow locations such as Javits would have been much more sensible.
Anonymous
I think there are better solutions but I disagree that the hospital is a safe place for anyone. It’s never good to spend any more time than absolutely necessary in a hospital. Agree with posters above who suggested using the no longer needed overflow locations such as Javits would have been much more sensible.
anon
They turned the Javits Center into a temporary hospital but it hasn’t really been used or needed. Was suggesting that it may have made sense to use that location for patients who are contagious but don’t need to be fully hospitalized to keep them isolated from other nursing home residents.
Anonymous
Keep them in the already overwhelmed hospital? What?
Anonymous
Parts of most hospitals are empty to the point of furloughing staff due to non-mandatory things being postponed. But you could also make some nursing / rehab facilities covid-only (how you staff them and protect staff IDK — grave problems equiping people these days).
But it is near murder to send sick people into nursing homes with shared rooms and unprotected staff!!! And do you think that staff commute solo in cars and live in 3000 sq feet suburban houses where further spread is unlikely??? WTF NY; WTF.
Anonymous
This may have been what the field hospital was really needed for.
anon
You can’t just keep patients who are ready to be discharged in the hospital. Hospitals are severely financially strained due to COVID-19. They can’t bill for hospital services that aren’t medically necessary. So, patients have to be discharged to either an LTAC, SNF, or nursing home, depending on the level of care needed. Or the hospital has to continue providing hospital-level care to patients who don’t need it for free–when many hospitals are already struggling because elective procedures have been canceled.
Theoretically, empty wings of hospitals could be converted to temporary nursing facilities, but there are likely financial and logistical challenges to doing that in the middle of a public emergency. The state can change incentives but it can’t make the hospitals set up a whole new facility.
LaurenB
My understanding of this is similar to anon at 10:11 am.
Anon
And this is why we need socialized medicine.
Anonymous
This is why we do not need socialized medicine, are you serious?!
LaurenB
Yep, this is why we need some form of socialized medicine. The issue here is that hospitals and nursing homes are on two different tracks, so to speak.
Anonymous
Maybe in a facility designated for covid people, so they don’t infect all the other old vulnerable people?! As they say, common sense isn’t that common.
LaurenB
But facilities “designated for COVID people” don’t just spring up out of thin air. What are nursing homes doing with their current residents who develop COVID? Presumbly isolating them, right? In a sense, does it really make a difference if the “COVID wing” of the nursing home is filled with only current residents or a brand-new person who just got dismissed from hospital? Just wondering out loud.
Anonymous
Apparently in MA they do.
Anon in MA
Yes, they do. It takes coordination at the state level. The facility that is being vacated/has been designated for COVID only patients has 100% of residents tested before they get relocated. The patients who are non-COVID are isolated for 14 days in their new location. This process is how they discovered a facility near me that had been designated to accept 100% COVID seniors actually had it run rampant throughout the facility. Literally over night it went from 0 to like 65 cases out of about 100 residents.
LaurenB
Wow. This is all so scary and sad.
Anonymous
Some states designated facilities for the discharge of the exposed where additional care could be taken given their diagnoses. California did the same thing as New York — Thanks, Newsom— mixing in cases and then didn’t require the facilities to publicly report their cases until a couple of weeks ago.
Anonymous
You send the COVID patients to separate, designated facilities until they are no longer contagious. That’s what CT and MA are doing. It’s not rocket science.
Anonymous
Thank you. It’s not rocket science and unbelievable that people are so dense. This is why I don’t want the NYS government handling things.
Anonymous
It’s not rocket science, but it’s not easy. There are tremendous logistical challenges to moving patients in nursing homes and staffing the new facilities you’ve just designated. Things that look easy often aren’t.
Anonymous
Someplace where they aren’t going to kill others, for starters? This looks like The Lottery where the NYS government told people it was their time to die.
Anonymous
Yes this is reality across the country at nursing homes and assisted living. Assisted living moves heaven and earth to get residents tested, sends those very sick to hospital, and hospital discharged many of them right back because they have DNRs and can get hospice care at the assisted living. It’s encouraged by state regulators. The reality is if you start testing all staff and residents in nursing homes and assisted living you’ll need to call in the national guard to staff them.
Anon
Last night I was thinking about a couple of our ‘rettes who have said their biopsies or other medical procedures have been put on hold because of the quarantine. I just want to tell them (and anyone out there waiting on medical treatment or news) that I am thinking about them and sending them good energy. I had to get a breast biopsy a few years ago and waiting for the results was so stressful; I can’t imagine how stressful it is to know you need a biopsy and not be able to get one. I am crossing my fingers for all of you and I hope if you feel okay doing so, that you will come back and post an update when your procedures happen and when you get the results.
Anon
Thank you, truly. My fertility treatments are on hold and it’s absolutely crushing.
KS IT Chick
I hate to be the downer, but our health system has said that reproductive endocrinology will be among the last services that we restore to normal operations. It’s a very PPE-intensive service, so it is a problem to bring back up while we are in conservation mode.
We expect to be doing breast & cervical biopsies within the next week, but a lot of more intensive services have to wait.
Anon
Not helpful :(
Anon
Nope, not helpful whatsoever.
fyi
My clinic (IL) has restarted some services for the 40+ crowd.
Anon
Thanks for this insight. My clinic is giving us weekly updates and considers fertility not elective but also not essential. So because we’re non elective, as soon as they open the gates for non-elective procedures I should be good. But, I’m in a hot spot and my clinic is in a hospital that is headline-making for treating so many cases. Kicking myself for not having a non-hospital-based clinic right now.
Anon
* as soon as they open the gates for non-elective/non-essential (right now only open for non-elective/essential/life saving)
Anon
Me too. Hugs.
anon
I’m sorry, this really stinks. Hugs.
Patricia Gardiner
I’m so sorry. That’s the worst, soul-crushing in a particularly unique way. Hoping that they are able to resume soon and that you have a successful course of treatment.
anon
I am so very sorry. :( As if infertility isn’t difficult enough.
Anonymous
Thank you! I need a cervical cancer procedure and I am thankful that it is a generally slow-growing cancer and that it may not advance to a later stage before I can get care. And that the care is less invasive vs full hysterectomy. But still!
Anon
I’m getting my regular botox for migraine injections next week- so grateful my doctor is making this work since it keeps me from being in horrendous amounts of pain every day. It’s not invasive or aerosol generating but does involve brief face to face contact. It’s been more than six weeks since I’ve left my house for anything other than walks where I barely see anyone, so the odds are very low that I’m sick and there are only a few new cases officially showing up in my county each day now, so hopefully it will be okay…
Anony
Albeit not the worse case scenario but I usually get monthly trigger point injections and prolotherapy every 4 weeks from an osteopath who has shuttered her home-office for the time being. I haven’t been able to get shots for over 8 weeks now and the pain is unreal. I hope every day that I get an email saying ‘hey, we are opening and you’re on the schedule!’ I don’t mind WFH or being home all the time and my mental health is doing pretty good but man, unrelenting pain can really screw with my head.
Peanut
I have never written a public official but I wrote our governor this week and asked that he let hospitals, clinics, doctors and dentists reopen. The hospital system in our state didn’t get overwhelmed, hospitals and ERs are empty and there is enough PPE. He let residential construction and golf courses reopen. It’s time to let people get help for back pain (parent), cancer biopsies (other parent), heart medicine check (MIL) and dental cleanings (me) and to get infants, toddlers and kids get routine vaccinations. And to keep the hospital system strong if/when covid comes back in the fall. I think it’s idiotic to keep them closed.
Anon
Where are you that you can’t get treatment for back pain or heart medicine? I’m the migraine poster above and I’m in CA where they’re taking things pretty seriously, but I’ve been getting regular emails from my doctors about the availability of telemedicine for everything possible to do that way (even physical therapy, though I’m sure it’s not ideal) and they say they’re open for essential appointments that have to be done in person like my botox and vaccines. Dental cleanings are different because they’re not essential and are much, much riskier than most procedures- they generate aerosols that likely remain suspended in the office for an extended period of time and there’s no way that a patient can wear a mask while being treated, which means they’re at high risk of being infected from previous patients unless they come up with a way to manage airflow. Definitely not an expert, but dental cleanings are likely to be one of the last things to resume.
Anon
Vaccines are still essential in Massachusetts. We are going in person on Friday for DD’s 2 year old check up and shots. Where are you located that this is not the case?
LaurenB
Where are you that you cannot get other health services? Here, dentists won’t open for routine cleanings but they are open for dental emergencies / situations where someone is in pain. Other doctors are open as well — just not treating routine situations that can easily wait. For example, I have something I need to see a dermatologist about, but it’s a benign growth that just needs to be removed and if it doesn’t happen for a few months, no big deal. But she’s still treating skin cancer patients and people who have unusual rashes and the like. Vaccines are still being given here as well. People are still being treated for cancer and heart disease and kidney infections and the like.
Anonymous
In my state, we have some limited things opening on fridays, including dental offices. I find this very reckless, although generally I think the gov of our state has done a very good job of closing things down and managing this crisis. Dental visits produce aerosols and it would be nearly impossible to clean thorough between each visit. I would be comfortable doing a lot of things now, like a short visit to a retail store but am not yet comfortable with the idea of a dental cleaning.
LaurenB
Is it dental cleanings you find reckless, or any dental treatment? I would agree with you regarding the typical 6 month dental checkup which can easily be delayed, but people do have dental emergencies that can render them in a lot of pain or unable to take nourishment properly.
Out of curiosity, what are orthodontists doing? It would seem that there’s a time-sensitivity to seeing how someone in braces is doing, adjusting as needed, etc. Anyone with kids in braces want to comment?
Anonymous
Cute pick! This week is the first time since January that it feels like things are actually getting better and that I might actually once again need clothing that can be seen in public. For the first time it feels like we might be on our way to a safe recovery, unless the states that jumped the gun on reopening plunge us all backwards.
Ribena
Yes! Signs definitely looking promising in Scotland. I have a Stitch Fix box (not had one since January) on its way to me now and hoping for things that make me excited about spending more time outside in the coming months.
No Longer Anon
I’m at a high risk of getting very sick and while I agree that things seem more optimistic than last week, I’m also still in the place of “I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to work,” or when my life will seem more normal again.
Also, it sounds like our SIP is going to be extended for most things past May 4th. :(
There have to be some benefits of working from home
I have about 3 hours of conference calls today (and every Wednesday). It’s not one call, they’re different ones, but I am going to take that time to listen in on the calls / clean up a bit at the same time. Possibly do some sit-ups.
Anon
Yes, being able to do mundane tasks around the house while still being present on a conference call have absolutely been the silver lining of working from home. Doing my nails on them have been my go-to.
No Longer Anon
I’ve been working on puzzles. Still paying attention but feel actually productive on the calls.
Anon
Any recommendations for where to buy decent cloth face masks? I’ve purchased a few that have been duds (poor fit/cloth too heavy) and am hoping to buy some for myself, spouse and children. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Has anyone bought ones from Vida?
anne-on
I bought ones from Vida and they have yet to even ship 10 days later (they state you’ll receive them within 9-15 days). If you need some urgently I’m not sure that’s how I’d go.
Anon
Following. I have a N95 (from the wildfires! I didn’t donate b/c I used it during the wildfires!) and find breathing with it way too restrictive for things like walks outside. I just ordered a simpler one from Etsy, I won’t recommend it as I haven’t received it yet, but in the case it doesn’t work would like other suggestions.
anon
I got a few from CENBoutique on Etsy and have been very pleased with them. The fit is great, the ear loops are adjustable, and there’s even a little pocket where you can put in a paper towel or coffee filter. Shipping was also insanely fast.
Anonymous
Following. I was going to post the same question. I’ve also had issues with fit. The mask I wore to the grocery store this weekend slips below my nose when I talk, which I only learned when I was talking to the cashier. I found myself touching the outside of the mask to adjust it and keep it in place, which seems pretty counterproductive. I’d also love recommendations if you’ve bought one that you like.
The original Scarlett
I am loving the ones from Amy Kuschel, the wedding dress maker, they’re comfortable and come in cute fabrics. I think masks will be here for a while, likely for air travel, so I don’t mind paying a bit more. Hers are comfortable in design and fabric.
ALX emily
I got some from Christy Dawn and they shipped quickly – arrived less than 7 days from when I placed the order and I’m across the country. Fit is good and the fabric seems nice although I don’t have much to compare it to.
Anon
I got some from Reformation, and they seem great so far.
Small Law Partner
Ditto. Lighter weight than LA apparel, which are heavier terry. Like both but easier to brief in the Ref ones particularly when running.
Anon
OP here-thanks for the feedback so far. I ordered one from Vida and from New Republic. Saw that Madewell made some but they sold out quickly. Will update once they arrive!
BeenThatGuy
I just ordered some from Swaddle Designs after not receiving an order from an Etsy shop after waiting for them for 30 days. Swaddle Designs is a baby company that switched from manufacturing baby blankets to cloth masks. They seem to still have a significant stock.
Moonstone
Just ordered. Thanks for the recommendation.
Housecounsel
I am currently wearing paper ones I found on Amazon, but I ordered some very cute ones from Johnny Was and am looking forward to wearing receiving them. They’re mandated here beginning May 1.
Anon
I found a local sewist making them on Nextdoor – she had them ready 2 days after I ordered. Reasonable prices and she made them in adult and kids sizes. I highly recommend this route, it made me feel better about supporting a local small business during a difficult time.
EM84
I gave up and started to sew my own face masks. It is relatively easy, you can recycle your old bed sheets for this, you can sew them on a machine or by hand. Very good tutorial is on YT by Tock Custom. I prefer masks which are tied at the back of the head and that have fabric ties (they can be washed in washing machine and pressed). I made 30+ masks over two evenings and gave them to friends. Give it a try.
Moonstone
I made a few and was humbled by how long they took me to make (because I am bad at sewing). I ordered 2 from Swaddle because I think I will take one apart to use as a pattern. The masks I have made from online patterns have been only kind of successful, and I would like to get better at making them.
Anon
I appreciate the nudge to see a face mask, but know how that it would be an exercise in frustration for me based on past attempts to sew. I work in a school located in a current COVID-19 hotspot, so want to get a few masks that can accommodate a filter and fit properly.
MargotMcKinley
Hi! My Etsy shop is stocked with cloth masks… https://www.etsy.com/shop/QuiltedCompositions
can recommend
I ordered one and I guess I have a small face because it is kind of big and hard to breathe when I race around the grocery store. But it is not a bad backup option.
Shipped fast and the price was good, just ordered an Amy Kuschel today. Started with a way cheap one from etsy that tied on and the ties will spontaneously knot.
anne-on
Great. Now I’m trying to justify buying all the (super cute!) new shoes Boden has even though I’ve barely left the house in nearly 2 months. But look – rainbow spotted espadrilles!!!
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/cassie-espadrille-wedges-multi-spot-natural-linen/sty-a0484-neu
TheElms
These are awesome, thanks for sharing!
pugsnbourbon
On a related note – how stinkin cute are these sneakers? https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/striped-sneakers-white-and-rainbow/sty-a0409-mul?cat=C1_S2_G11
Serving fresh Rainbow Brite looks. I love them.
anne-on
Omg now I’m seeing the sneakers with the leopard and snakeskin insets…noooooo!!! Darn it Boden!
TheElms
I also really want these now!!! I normally wear black/ gray – but please send all the rainbows!
anon a mouse
Super cute, though I will tell you that I returned a pair of those last month because they are really heavy. Unusually so. But if you have stronger ankles than me, go for it!
Carmen Sandiego
I have these that I ordered during the quarantine in anticipation of going out again. They are even more gorgeous in person and I’m dying to wear them!
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/kathleen-heels-tuscan-sun/sty-a0698-dyl?cat=C1_S2_G11
Senior Attorney
OMG those are divine.
No Longer Anon
I ordered a pair of Puma sneakers in the midst of all of this that make me happy even to just look at, and wear on daily walks. They replaced a pair I literally wore a hole through. We still have to wear shoes to go on walks, do it!
Anon
yesterday i read an article that showed a full american airlines flight. where/why are people flying to these days? does anyone know anyone who has been traveling??
Anonymous
I’m in Charlotte and have two colleagues who are married to pilots that work at major airlines. The pilots are still having a few limited flights, but also have to travel for simulator training (which is a regular thing). I know an environmental consultant who has traveled to rural Texas twice in the past six weeks from Charlotte for site visits.
LaurenB
Some of the health care providers who went to NY to help out flew there. I know people who flew home from Florida to be in their home state, and I know someone who flew down to Florida to be with her family thinking she’d quarantine and work from home there, and got so frustrated that she flew back to her apartment up north. I can’t say I condone flying, but if you have a mask and gloves and are scrupulous about cleaning / disinfecting around you, I suppose it’s a chance some are willing to risk.
FP
My stepfather owns a moving company that operates out of two states, and he regularly flies back and forth between the sites. He hasn’t stopped traveling, unfortunately, because his business is considered essential in both states.
Anon
I would guess they are full b/c they have cut the schedule down to the bone, so for the few people that are mentioned that need to fly, it fills up?
LaurenB
My understanding is that the demand is so low that even with cancelled flights, they don’t fill up. The young woman I know who flew from Florida back to her northern city said she had 6 people on her flight. This was in the last 2 weeks. Another person who flew a similar route said her flight was very empty and she actually bought a first class ticket for super cheap (which turned out to be a good move as she was the only person in first class). Personally, I feel the airport itself is more “dangerous” than the airplane.
Anon
Oh, that has been my impression too (that they are generally not full). My response was directly to the OP that said she saw a picture of a full flight and wondered how could that be.
Anon
A friend of mine flew from Hawaii to Mass because he was moving and couldn’t really postpone the move. Another friend flew NY to Seattle because she had to care for her aging parents. She did it super responsibly though. She fully quarantined in NY first (not even going out for groceries) for 14 days. When she arrived in Seattle she stayed in an extended stay hotel, refusing cleaning services and having meals delivered to her door by family. She did that for 14 more days and then moved back in with her parents who she is caring for. I am in the process of adopting and may need to fly cross country to bring the baby home. That doesn’t look like it will be until October but I could have very easily matched with someone due now. My friend who is a pilot is still flying because his commercial passenger flights sometimes contain human organs for transplant and other urgent cargo.
Anon
Passenger capacity is at 5% of normal. But they’ve canceled the vast majority of flights so the few flights that are going are going full or close to it.
Anon
It’s not people just going on vacation or business trips, calm down. Passenger volume in my city is down 90%. There are so few flights now that instead of sending tests to the state lab in another city, my local hospital sends them out of state because the flight schedules work out better. (Yes, it socks we don’t have testing capabilities in town. Apparently those reagents are very hard to get these days.)
No Longer Anon
The person asking this seemed perfectly calm.
Housecounsel
My daughter’s college has mandated that we move her stuff out of the dorm by the end of May. She came home for spring break with very little and most of her clothes etc. are in the dorm room. The school kept pushing out the return date, optimistically, before going all online for the semester. It’s a two-day drive each way. Do I fly, or do I drive? I haven’t decided yet but am leaning toward flying. What would you do?
Ribena
Are you all past the period where if any of you had got anything from your daughter who came back from Spain, it would have made itself known? (Does that even make sense?). If not, and you’re happy to throw cash at the situation, I wonder if you can pay movers to go into her room and box stuff up and send it to you?
Housecounsel
Ribena, yes, your question made sense. We are long past the dangerous period with my Spain daughter. This is a different kid.
I’m going to look into the option of movers. My daughter doesn’t want someone going through her stuff but she may just have to deal.
anon
Movers sound like a good idea.
If you fly, is there a direct flight? Can you fly in and out in one day, or would you need to stay in a hotel (I’m guessing the dorm is closed)?
I would probably send one person, have that person fly, and re-quarantine for 14 days when they get back. I don’t see a huge gain in safety, for your family or the general public, of having a 4- or 5-day road trip with gas fill-ups, meals out, and hotel stays. And that’s not even taking into account the regular risk of motor vehicle miles vs. flight miles. I suppose you could rent an RV for the trip, but that seems like an unreasonable expectation unless you just feel most comfortable doing it and have the money, and my understanding is that a lot of sites are closed to RVs right now.
Anon
Assuming your daughter has tested negative, I would send her alone, since (based on current understanding about immunity) she can’t get sick again and can’t make anyone else sick.
The Frenchie is my favorite kid
I wish that colleges and universities would just organize a program to go in and pack up/send items from dorms. Maybe they could even use all the fees for gym/library/etc that aren’t be refunded for that.
Newsie
Some colleges are offering or arranging for a service for packup/moving. Some will arrange for storage. Costs vary. I would check with the college and ask what is available rather than relying on your daughter for this information, especially if she is resistant to the idea of someone else “going through her things.
Some colleges have reimbursed for fees for on campus services, but none of which I am aware have charged for the very real, unexpected costs of moving to distance learning under emergency situations. Hard times for colleges and universities, as for most businesses and individuals.
LaurenB
Housecounsel – I am on the house corp board of my sorority and am helping coordinate this for the ~ 50 girls who live in our house. Like many, our university closed after spring break, though we (presciently) directed our girls to pack their belongings and provided boxes. In any case – for students living in dorms, the university is bearing the cost of having a packing service come and pack them, and bearing the cost for boxes to be shipped back (domestic only). We are following their lead – we are requiring local girls to come pick up their things, absorbing the cost of packing for the few girls who weren’t able to pack before leaving, and bearing the cost of shipping to ship belongings back. We are also giving the girls the option to leave their belongings in place and deal with it in fall quarter (if there is a fall quarter). I don’t know what college you are dealing with, but I would have expected them to have contracted out a packing and/or shipping service and to absorb the bulk of the costs. The packing service we are using is called Reebie and it’s a flat $150 to come in and pack belongings, and then the shipping service is called USS. Perhaps your university has a “deal” rate with them.
Leatty
Book recommendation: The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Dare
Just finished reading this lat night, and it was so good.
Cb
Oh it was really good! The Stacks podcast had an interview with the author that I thought was fantastic. She sounds lovely! I just finished A Thousand Ships by Natalie Haynes and it was really gorgeous. A quick read in the Circe and Song of Achilles vein.
Anonymous
I’d like to buy a nice basket or something for someone who is having a big surgery in Southern California. She’s in her mid-30s and has a young kid. Any recommendations?
AIMS
GoFugYourself had a round up of care packages to seen last week. Maybe check there?
LaurenB
If she is having a surgery and will be under the weather during her recovery, might DoorDash / GrubHub / whatever meal delivery service is relevant for her area be of use?
Anonymous
Hm, I like that idea. It’s cancer though and she’s in chemo, so I’m concerned that food delivery carries the risk of bringing more germs into the house. Aghh what a terrible time to have this happen (as if there’s a good time).
Anonymous
I recently had cancer and I personally would much rather have received a gift card (for Seamless/GrubHub, Amazon, Uber/Lyft, Netflix or Audible) than a gift basket. In general, if she didn’t have a stem cell transplant, she can most likely eat takeout.
I think people feel that a physical gift is more thoughtful but I ended up with so many duplicate things. Most people send the same type of gifts – I got 12 blankets and 15 boxes of anti nausea candies, but my home is sweltering and I didn’t have nausea as a side effect. I was so thankful for the gifts but I definitely felt guilty when I ended up donating most gifts to my chemo center.
In terms of physical gifts, my friend gave me a funky pair of furry pink slippers with treads that I wore in the hospital, which I did love. If she’s a tea or coffee drinker, consider sending her a fancy tea/coffee gift basket. I appreciated consumables (cookies, snacks) because I could serve them to hospital/home visitors, but given the COVID situation, she probably won’t have visitors and may receive more treats than she/her family can eat.
Sorry, this turned out very long!
Anonanonanon
Gift card to Nordstrom Trunk Club so she can set up an account and work with a stylist to get some clothes, whether it’s comfy clothes for lounging in or something to put on that makes her feel nice. Depending on how big the incision is and where it is, she may be looking for clothes that she can wear comfortably.
No Longer Anon
I agree with food gift cards. I absolutely positively do not want to cook for weeks after any surgery (I’ve had quite a few). I’m really picky about my snack preferences, especially when I don’t feel well. I also don’t like any tea but basic black. Being able to pick what I want and not have to make it would have been A+.
But, also, if you really want to send something: fuzzy socks (they’re not like slippers or blankets, you can have multiple pairs and may need to switch out every day or every few days if they get grimy), a microwaveable animal (I like Hooty the Owl) and a really good thermos (I like hydroflask) thar keep things warm and cold all seem like they could be universally helpful but not the same thing everyone else got.
Seventh Sister
If you want to support a small independent business, I think Lundeen’s in Culver City would probably put together something really really cute.
NeglectedHeels
Does anyone want to do some vicarious shopping? I purchased these lovely floral pumps for my wedding 2 years ago and would love nothing more than to wear them ALL THE TIME. However, I can’t seem to find anything to wear with them and haven’t touched them since the wedding. They are a lovely lilac floral pattern with a pointed toe and ankle strap. Do I wear jeans and a white blouse? What kind of jeans? Is there a specific blouse that would look better than white? I’m thinking a lovely grey dress may work but haven’t found anything online that looks right. Ideally I would love a fun, feminine knee length or above dress but I have no idea what color or pattern or cut! For reference, I’m 5’10”, athletic build, and would want to wear these on dates with my husband or girls nights with friends (yes, I know, these dreams may not come true for some time. But planning for eventual fun brings me great joy.) I work in healthcare and wear scrubs so I don’t need any suggestions on work-appropriate outfits. :)
To find the shoes, search “Bandolino lilac enchanted floral ginata pump”
Anonymous
Dress up a pair of grey or olive jeans/ trousers for a girls night out? (or in, as the case may be?)
go for it
Those shoes are stunning! Want them! Sheath dress for sure. Straight/skinny jeans, white or deep blue, solid color slinky blouse that complements your complexion. The shoes are the star performer in the outfit.
anne-on
Pretty! They’d be awesome with some cropped white jeans (or cuffed light wash ‘mom’ jeans like all the bloggers are wearing).
For dresses I’d definitely wear them with a straight cut skirt unless you want to lean all the way into ‘girly’ vibes, in which case I’d go for a floaty midi dress with a defined waist – I’m shorter so I think heels and pointed toes help elongate this look and make it more wearable for me.
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/frances-jersey-midi-dress-milkshake-tropical-leaf/sty-j0465-lpk?cat=C1_S2_G4&pid=J0465-J0465-G_00000003786
NeglectedHeels
Thanks for the suggestions! I love this boden dress in the olive green color.
anon
Navy blue summer sheath dress!
AnonATL
Gorgeous! I think they would look really lovely with a simple lighter grey sheath dress. It’s a bit hard to tell on my monitor though.
I sure love a good statement wedding shoe, but I ended up with very practical flat sandals because my husband isn’t much taller than I am.
NeglectedHeels
I completely agree with the light grey sheath dress! Have you seen any around that you could link? My husband is 6’4″ and I was so excited I could wear heels at the wedding after a lifetime of wearing flats at formal events. I bet your practical sandals were absolutely lovely.
AnonATL
Maybe something like this. Bonus points it is insanely on sale right now. Grab one in every color :)
https://factory.jcrew.com/p/womens-clothing/dresses/professional_dresses/suiting-dress/J4614?color_name=hthr-graphite
Ann Taylor has a few sleeved options in similar shades of purple and blue that might work, like this one.
https://www.anntaylor.com/doubleweave-pleat-sleeve-sheath-dress/522765?=undefined&selectedColor=1103
AnonATL
also I’m re-reading your post now, and if you want some “sexier” sheath style dresses that don’t need to be work-appropriate, Black house white market has a good selection of those. Sleeveless, interesting necklines, maybe more fitted. Lots more date night type dresses vs day at the office I was thinking.
Anony
I would do a cropped slim-fit boyfriend jean, cuffed or rolled or ankle cigarette leg jean to show off the strap. And if it was me, I’d do a lighter, distressed wash or a white denim. For a top, I’m thinking a linen or silky top in blush, white or very light blue/gray; something more feminine/delicate to balance the jeans and pair with the shoes.
Now that I’m surfing the ‘net for inspiration, I think this Free People Ava Bodysuit in Lunar Bloom (great sleeve!) would look awesome with JCrew Slim Boyfriend Jean and your shoes!
Anony
Ooo the JCrew Vintage kickout crop jean in Western Sky wash would look awesome also and they are an extra 40% off! The model is even wearing a similar shoe!
NeglectedHeels
Oh my gosh that bodysuit is perfect! I’m buying it right now. I have a pair of lighter distressed boyfriend jeans that I think will work. Thanks for the suggestion!!
Anony
You are welcome! Sounds like it’s going to be an awesome outfit!!
No Longer Anon
While looking for that bodysuit (I agree, would look great!) I saw the “basique bodysuit.” What the hell is going on with the styling of it in silver? That’s just such an awkward pose that makes the model look very strange.
Anon
I would wear them with anything (seriously) but I’m imagning them with medium faded jeans that end above the ankle plus a breezy linen top. Let the shoes be the focus!
go for it
Those shoes are stunning! Want them! Sheath dress for sure. Straight/skinny jeans, white or deep blue, solid color slinky blouse that complements your complexion. The shoes are the star performer in the outfit.
anon
I really want a couch just like this that’s leather and folds out into a bed. But I’ve heard I should be wary of West Elm from a quality perspective. But this one is half off, and I just got a giant new house with many empty rooms. Should I go for it?
https://www.westelm.com/products/axel-leather-futon-saddle-h5853/?cm_src=west-elm-promotional-event||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_–_-&isx=0.0
Meeesh
As someone who has several West Elm couches I haven’t had any issues with quality (and I have two 45lb dogs jumping on them all day and night).
I won’t say they are the most comfortable couches in the world but their mid century style fits with my decor and overtime they’ve softened up and become more comfy.
I think that couch is hella cute!
Anonymous
I got a West Elm couch that folds out into a bed about 5 years ago. Love it and it’s holding up great.
Anonymous
I believe West Elm put out one couch that had major issues and that is the source of the reputation. This is not that couch.
Anon
Yup, this. My house is nearly all WE. We have a toddler and large dog. Everything is holding up great. It’s not heirloom type stuff, but the aesthetic pleases me very much. The quality is high enough, but not so high that I get angry wen my dog’s fur coats things or toddler drives scooter into side of bookshelf.
Athleta issue
Looking for advice — I recently ordered a large shipment from Athleta (don’t flame me — I was tired of doing laundry every three days), and it never arrived, although UPS tracking states it was delivered. I doubt the package was stolen; the UPS driver has access to a secure package room that few other people have access to. What should I do?
Anonymous
I have had this problem with the Gap companies before. UPS hands the package off to the post office for delivery, and marks it as “delivered” when the handoff is made. It then takes several more days for USPS to deliver the package to you. Check the tracking details to see who signed for the package or where it was delivered–sometimes there is a telltale detail such as “loading dock,” even if your address is listed.
Monday
Tell them what happened. They’ll probably replace the order. This has happened to me with Zappos and HerRoom, though not recently.
Anonymous
Call Athleta and tell them you didn’t receive it. They will probably eat the cost and send you replacements.
Carmen Sandiego
Report it to UPS and to Athleta. UPS will either locate the package or Athleta will refund you. I have had issues like this during the quarantine. FedEx was saying it delivered a package but I’ve been home all the time, and there was absolutely no package. I reported it, but then a couple days later a woman brought it over, it had been delivered to her house a couple blocks over.
Anon
I have had issues similar to this & have gone to both UPS & the retailer, and have learned that it is usually better to just only go to the retailer. They will deal with UPS. Since you weren’t the sender there is limited working with you UPS can do, so you will just waste time & frustration. (Assuming the retailer is cooperative).
Anon
How long since when it says it was delivered? I find that my packages often arrive a day or two after the tracking says it was delivered. Assuming you are out of that window, let Athlete know and they will replace or refund.
Pink
Can you check that you (or Athleta) entered the correct shipping address? I’ve had issues when using a credit card – I’ll enter the correct shipping address, but the store “corrects” it and sends the order to my billing address, where I no longer reside. Just a thought. Failing that, yes contact Athleta and let them know you didn’t receive it.
Anony
Which UPS service was it – SmartPost, Ground, Express, etc? SmartPost gets marked as ‘delivered’ when UPS hands it over to USPS (this happened to me last week; Target sent me a notice that it was delivered but it was 2 more days before USPS actually delivered it). Also, if you go to the tracking history on the actual UPS site, it will say ‘proof of delivery’ and show “Received by: *NAME*” The service will also be notated in the delivery proof along with “Left At: *Reception, Mailroom, Front Porch, etc” and “Delivered To: City, State” All of those should help you narrow down where it was left. Baring all that, contact Athleta CS as usually the sender needs to file a claim with the shipping carrier.
Anon
I have a canker sore that due to its placement is more painful than other ones I get (I get them often enough).
Doing saltwater rinses and milk of magnesia spot treatments and am even breaking out the orajel. I’ve noticed that the orajel only provides relief for about 45 mins. I’m frequently in meetings that run 60-90 minutes and due to the placement speaking can be painful . Any other pain relief / healing suggestions?
Carmen Sandiego
I swear by Dr. Tichenor’s (the antiseptic mouthwash) on a q-tip, placed in the sore for as long as you can stand it – it hurts but definitely makes it go away quickly. (I realize I’m in the south though, and am not sure if Dr. Tichenor’s is a thing everywhere?)
BB
So this is not going to be helpful for you, but sort of a related question: At my last dentist about a year ago, I went in with a horrible canker sore and the dentist said they have a treatment for it that basically stops it in its tracks. I for some reason didn’t ask him what this was, but he did use it on me. It was like a one-time-use medicated swab that they put on the sore. It hurt horribly for a few seconds, but the sore started to recede in a few hours. Anyone know what this was?
Elegant Giraffe
I’m late – I hope you see this!!! I had 10+ canker sores at once several years and went to my GP because I was just miserable. He used something that looked like a match on each sore. He accidentally grazed some healthy tissue on my lip and burned the heck out of it. It was colloidal silver. Googling it now, it looks a little questionable. But it was magic!!!
Anon
I used to get canker sores all the time and they stopped once I switched to a toothpaste without sodium laurel sulfate.
anon
This is true for me too. Once I had them, avoiding strawberries and candy helped a lot as well.
anon
+1! It’s magic. Major props to the dental hygienist who clued me into this several year ago.
I also avoid using my electric toothbrush until it’s healed b/c I find the vibrations make them heal slower
Anonymous
Take a baby aspirin (the orange chewable kind) and place it directly on the sore until if dissolves. I have had great luck with this treatment.
LSC
Not a pain rec, but I used to get miserable canker sores all the time. Once I stopped using toothpaste with sodium laurel sulfate, I stopped getting them. Apparently that’s very common. Just wanted to let you know in case you’re unaware!
EM84
+1! I also stopped using face wash and shampoo with SLS and all problems with redness and dryness are gone
Anonymous
Agree with other poster—I use Biotene toothpaste (no SLS) and am largely canker free now after so many years. It worked the beat of the noSLS for me. Also, not the end of the world to go black for 20 seconds (assume not a meeting in person these days) on a call and apply more orajel. Canker sites are the absolute worst!
Lyssa
Have you tried taking a pain reliever (Advil or Tylenol or similar)? I didn’t think of that for a long time, I guess I just thought those were for headaches, but I’ve found it really does help if they get bad.
Clarita
I get really bad canker sores and taking vitamin B12 helps, . I’ve also taken to mashing a bit of the pill and applying it on the canker sore, which seems to provide more relief than Orajel.
There’s evidence for the first (https://www.jabfm.org/content/22/1/9) not as much for the second.
Anonymous
It didn’t occur to me for years but ibuprofen works really well for pain from bad canker sores.
anon
I used to get them all the time – they were a celiac symptom for me and going gluten free stopped them, except when I accidentally eat gluten.
For faster healing, a doctor told me to eat lots of raw garlic – so hummus, Cesar salad, things like that. Hurts like crazy but heals faster.
For pain, I swear by Chloraseptic throat spray. Squirt it in my mouth, hold my mouth at an angle so that the liquid is touching the sore area and hold for 20-30 seconds. Spit the remainder out. I find that it lasts an hour or so.
Anon
Thank you all! Meetings are in person so this is all helpful!
Elbe
Buttermilk will help with the pain and speed healing. Just take a mouthful and swish around.
Anon
Suggestions for unreachable Times?
Hoping someone has a good suggestion here. Like many, WFH has turned my already 24/7 job even more 24/7. I’m early in my pregnancy and am mildly high risk to the point where my doctor wants a lot more frequent check ins/tests/specialist appointments. I’m not ready to tell work I’m pregnant so I’m having a hard time explaining why I’m out of pocket. My normal standby if I have an appointment seems flimsy since everything is closed, even dentists in my area aren’t taking regular appointments so I don’t want to say I’m at the doctor because I’m these times that means something is obviously not normal and I don’t want to explain that. Maybe I’m overthinking this but I also feel people in an attempt to connect while we are remote and also to be mindful of people’s personal situations are more likely to ask awkward follow up questions.
Senior Attorney
“I’ll be out of pocket at X time.”
Don’t explain, just inform. If anybody is crass enough to ask why, just repeat: “I won’t be available. Will be pack online at Y time.”
LittleBigLaw
“Don’t explain, just inform.” Love that line!
Pure Imagination
+1. Don’t explain. You could also say “an appointment,” but it’s none of their business and most people will get the hint when you don’t elaborate. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Anonymous
Calendar a meeting.
Anon
Could you have other appointments? I’m an attorney so if my boss tries to schedule something I can just say I have another appointment at that time. I don’t have to say if it is a work appointment or not. If everyone knows your schedule and you have to go the white lie route, what about vet appointments if you have a pet? My vet is still open (thank god) and my pets have had to go several times.
Anon
To clarify, that still works right now because I have e-depos, mediations, teleconferences with clients.
anon
You might just have to go with “medical appointment that requires an in-person visit/test/whatever” and add that it’s not related to COVID-19. I know that may be more information than you’d like to give, but you’re right that people might push back on a standard “appointment.”
I’ve had a few telehealth appointments related to my son’s medical issues, and when I’ve needed to explain, I’ve been able to say “telehealth appointment for my son.” Nobody has batted an eye.
Clarita
People at my work have taken off time for being sick or “going to an appointment” and not specifying whether its telehealth or in-person, and its been fine. I think people haven’t wanted to ask personal questions or anything about it.
Anon
I would suggest going as vague as possible as suggested in the earlier answers, & only get to this if people push.
anon
All – OP here, thanks for the helpful input. Unfortunately as much as I wish I could be vague, my job often (and even more so since shutdown) doesn’t exactly respect calendaring or just being unavailable. Literally just got off the phone with a partner who asked me what my meeting was for (it was another client call!) during the time he wanted to speak to the client because he thought his meeting should take priority
Anonymous
In that case I’d openly block the time off as “Gynecologist Appointment.” That should get them to back off.
Finally Made a Name
I would like this dress without the tie. It reminds me of a girl tying her shirt around her waist in middle school when her period came early.
Raindrop
Okay, I need a gut check/kick in the pants from y’all. I’m a longtime, daily lurker and very rare poster. I believe I am about to be offered a high-ranking role leading a local office for a national organization. The role is a mix of organizational leadership and management, community-building, and fundraising. Normally, I am a strong negotiator and always, always ask for more compensation when I receive a job offer, and encourage everyone around me to do the same. However, I am struggling with the idea of doing that amidst a pandemic and recession, particularly within the setting of a nonprofit. The salary will be a significant increase from my current compensation. I believe as a fundraiser in particular you should demonstrate you’re fearless about asking . . . but wow, I am feeling an internal struggle about this! It feels gauche or out-of-touch with current circumstances. Thoughts? Thank you!
Anonymous
I would be inclined to still ask but maybe moderate the ask slightly from what you would otherwise have asked. Are there other things that are valuable to you that may be minimal cost to them? Extra week vacation? Home office allowance to set up a good home office to work during pandemic. Ability to WFH a couple days a week when this is all over?Parking fees?
Anon
Another fundraiser here. Ask, ask, ask! You will never have a better opportunity to negotiate salary. Any annual raises will pale in comparison. Yes, we are in a crisis situation-and that’s why they want you! Because you are awesome and experienced! Get your worth in your salary negotiation.
Senior Attorney
Yup. Ask. If you don’t it will depress your salary for the rest of your career.
Cat
+1
Raindrop
Thank you, all! This was the kick in the pants I thought I needed. I appreciate everyone’s clarity on the subject.
anon a mouse
Ask. If they say no and site the current situation, ask for it to be tied to performance in the future and codify it in your offer letter.
Raindrop
This is a nice Plan B/pivot for the negotiation. Thank you!
No Longer Anon
I started using CPAP about 2.5 months ago and love it. However, in the last two weeks I’ve noticed that around my mouth where my full face mask fits is looking a bit blotchy, almost like a rash. It’s also super dry, just in that area. I have sensitive skin but it just started happening (although I’m in a much drier area than usual right now, sheltering in place with my family). I’ve been cleaning the mask, washing my face, moisturizing, etc but it keeps happening. I’ve adjusted the mask but if I have it any looser it leaks and wakes me up. I don’t think it’s too tight. I really like the mask otherwise (for anyone who’s curious, it’s the Dreamwear Full Face mask). Any advice? TIA!
anon a mouse
is it friction? I wonder if you used a tiny bit of something like vaseline or cortisone cream that would help?
No Longer Anon
Apparently petroleum products break down the silicone, but….I replace it once a month anyway so I might just take that risk. I could get a mask cover but they look really uncomfortable.
Anonymous
Any chance there is latex in the mask?
No Longer Anon
Latex free, I made sure to check because I’m super super sensitive to latex.
Anon
Humidify your house?
Anon
I have extremely sensitive skin and am prone to rashes from anything that’s even slightly too tight or rubbing. The fact that you say you’re super sensitive to latex makes me wonder if this might be the case for you too, even though this is a physical sensitivity, not an allergy. Not really sure what to suggest other than keeping it as loose as you can get away with or try to suggestion above to use Vaseline or something else to but a barrier between the mask and your skin, just be careful not to use something that irritates you more.
No Longer Anon
I know my skin does OK with aquaphor, so I may try that to act as a barrier.
Anon
Aquaphor is also petroleum based.
No Longer Anon
I know but….eh. I assume I’ll replace it before the silicone breaks down.
Anonymous
Fascinating video:
https://www.newsandguts.com/video/vox-how-the-coronavirus-charts-can-mislead-us/?fbclid=IwAR3TSwnNAPEYIQtkuIZIqOjLwEhZokydtwaqfuRyEPkzI1q6TdCKMVV3ORs