Coffee Break: Aria Bootie
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I was looking at booties recently and was surprised how many have wedges like these Vionics… I have a feeling that will be the next returning trend.
These Vionic platform booties look great: sleek but walkable, and water repellent. Great for a commute in slushy weather, but polished enough to keep on while you're at the office.
The boots have a 2.25″ heel and .75″ platform, and are available in sizes 5-13, in four colors, in medium and wide sizes, for $180.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
What was the best birthday you ever celebrated? I have a small birthday coming up in the next two weeks and a big milestone birthday in the next few years, so looking for ideas! (For my own birthday, if that’s unclear.)
Not mine, but my husband’s (or so he says his favorite birthday) – I planned a bunch of little stops to explore a new-to-us area during a night away. We both realized later that doing new experiences together is a great way to celebrate birthdays and in general bring us closer.
For my 60th, we rented a party boat in New York and invited all our friends from So Cal (and all over) to join us. It was great because we could invite everybody we know and still not worry about overcrowding the venue because we knew not everybody would want to make the trip. We ended up with about 60 people and it was the best party ever — dinner, dancing, and that amazing NYC skyline view. One of the best parts was everybody dressed up in their party clothes, taking the subway from the hotel to the dock!
For my husband’s 70th we did a 70s disco-themed party and everybody loved it! My kid asked “when are you going to have an 80s party?” and I was all “in 10 years, duh!”
For small(ish) celebrations, we have often been on vacation for our birthdays and that’s really special, too. (Not counting That One Time I Had a Meltdown On the Mountain On a Bike On My Birthday — but even that is a funny story now.)
ok i absolutely love that idea. which party boat, out of curiosity?
It was the Lexington. I coordinated it all from 3,000 miles away and I remember thinking on the way to the party “I hope there’s really a boat!” There was, and it was great!
My birthday celebration last year was my favorite – my husband and I flew to Barcelona and spent a week on an adults-only cruise (Virgin Voyages). We splurged a bit on the trip and having ~10 days away from our kids helped us reconnect and get back some of that spark, and I really had a great time hanging out with him exploring the various stops on the cruise.
This sounds dreamy! Have you been on other cruiselines? How did Virgin compare, especially on food?
I’ve been on both Carnival and Royal Caribbean. My Virgin Voyages experience was hands-down my best experience and I really loved it. The food overall was superb, though some restaurants were better than others. There’s no buffet or traditional dinner like other cruises which I also liked. The no kids was fantastic and made the experience so much better for me – I was truly able to get out of “mom mode”.
Good to know, thanks!
started marking birthdays with getaways (big and small) and never looked back!
Yeah it’s pretty much travel for me. DH & I were in Vegas on my 30th and it was so lovely even though we didn’t do anything that exciting – just good meals and enjoying the hotel pool.
Unfortunately with school age kids, I basically never get to travel on my actual birthday in early May. We don’t pull the kids out of school for “just for fun” vacations (we’d do it for an eclipse or something like that that’s one-time and educational, but they’re not missing school to lie on a beach) and the proximity to Mother’s Day and all the end-of-year stuff (recital, concerts, class parties) makes it really complicated to go away without them at that time of year. I’m 40 this year and planned some big bucket list trips in 2025 (one of which is next week!) but feeling like the actual birthday will be a bit anticlimactic.
My friends all got married and had kids before me, so my Big Birthdays were hard to gather people for. Looking forward to when my friends can come out to play with abandon again, which should be in a few years.
Traveling to see the total eclipse.
A friend of mine rented a villa in Tuscany for a milestone birthday and invited a bunch of her friends. It was awesome. (friend and most of the attendees live in Europe, so this was not quite the ask for most of her friends as it sounds like). I’m going to New Zealand for my milestone birthday this year and hoping that’s the my best birthday celebration.
I travel often for non-milestone birthdays (Nashville, New York, South Africa, Vegas, etc.). But I also love having parties for the big ones. I recently rented out a wine bar (the kind with those soda machines where you can taste test different wines), had about 40 people, catered food, and everyone loved it! I also rented out our small town “town hall” and had a DJ, heavy apps/charcuterie, photo booth, etc. for my husband’s 40th.
For my 35th, we did a long weekend in Nantucket. It was early October so it wasn’t as crowded, we got lucky with the weather, it was absolutely dreamy. My husband isn’t always the best planner but he really came through on this trip – sunset cruise, amazing restaurants, etc.
Ooh I would love a more detailed itinerary if you’re willing to share. I’m thinking of going to Nantucket in early October this year.
My boyfriend reached out to my two dearest friends – both of whom live hours away from us – and arranged for them to travel to an Air BnB he rented in the Shenandoah for a surprise birthday weekend for me. We shopped, did spa treatments, went to wineries, and just hung out in the hot tub together.
My birthday often coincides with our annual summer family visit to Europe, which is great in principle but also has often in the past limited my choices somewhat of how I want to spend it (e.g. extra travel is usually not in the budget or schedule).
My mom’s love language is gift giving and she wanted to invite a ton of relatives people for coffee/cakes/dinner to celebrate my birthday, which was not my idea of a chill and relaxing hot summer day. (She also has a pattern of stressing from 6am with preparations, baking and tables and seating, not accepting any help since no one does anything to her standards, but then also not enjoying anything… )
So I told her I want to go on a daytrip to a very famous castle about 1 hour away, including a guided tour which I’ve never done before, a picnic in the castle park, and dinner at a restaurant by a lake nearby. I booked the tickets, my mother booked the restaurant, my husband and my brother were in charge of the picnic.
We went with just my parents, my husband and kid, and my brother. Nobody had to host, we all had a wonderful experience together, and it was the best birthday ever. I have decided that I will come up with similar ideas in the future since I really enjoy new experiences.
Help me shop for an upcoming wedding — in May, so it might be cold or it might be warm. “Black Tie.” I’m a size 16P… and go! TIA!
What’s your budget? What colors look best on you?
I’m a deep winter (I think) — so blacks, all blues, and in smaller quantities darker jewel tones. Budget is $400 I guess because I am not finding anything in my initial budget of $200, at least not in my size.
I like Tadashi Shoji
They are gorgeous but more in the $600-and-up range.
I like this, in both colors: https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/bhldn-mariella-high-neck-satin-maxi-dress?category=black-tie-wedding-guest-dresses&color=001&type=STANDARD&quantity=1
Slate blue, sleeveless, low stock: https://tinyurl.com/2n3twjsy
Pretty embroidery, short sleeves: https://tinyurl.com/ypfkcman
Floaty, peacock blue, possibly too b00b-forward: https://tinyurl.com/yc8nfwsf
For those of you who have ordered from Sezane, how does the sizing run compared to JCrew or Banana? I am short and a bit of a pear, so I want to make sure that even shirts can not strain over my hips. I’ve ordered from them before but just bags. I’m a 6 (JC) or 8 (Boden) but with 40″ hips (plus a stomach).
[As an aside, I am loving cropped items now because I’m short enough that they are still appropriate tops on me but bypass my hips issue completely. Before COVID, sizing up to clear the hips meant a top or jacket was crazy large in the bust area..]
An Indigo Day has a Sezane sizing guide on her blog that might help! it’s pretty detailed (by item type)
FWIW, I bought pleated skirts from Banana and Sezane — and I was a 2 in Banana but a 4 in Sezane.
The size notes on the website about when to size up or down are pretty accurate for each individual item. I would guess you would generally want about size bigger than you normally would at JC/BR, as the clothes have very little stretch.
I’m an 8 Jcrew and am an M/L in their sweaters, but could not get their bottoms to work for me. I’m curvy and no amount of sizing up would work, I think it’s for a more straight body type.
DH and I have our 20th anniversary coming up in September. I’ve been trying to think of ideas of how to celebrate this milestone, but coming up blank. Any suggestions? We’re mid-late 40s with tween/early teen kids. It has been rough lately with 2 FT jobs, little help, lots of activities and I’d love to really do something special.
Trip back to wherever you took your honeymoon?
A big trip is always the answer for me. Europe is lovely that time of year.
I’m a fan of celebrating by doing things you actually enjoy or want to try, rather than attempting to make a stereotypical anniversary thing work for you.
For us, that means some combination of coffee at our local cafe, hiking a trail we like, some shopping at our favorite local stores, and dinner at our favorite brewery. Yes, even for milestone years.
The times we have tried more traditionally celebratory things like reservations at the big name steakhouse, expensive wine dinners, booking a suite and couples massage at the nice hotel were flops, because neither of us are in to that type of thing. Those were all awkward experiences and we felt like we wasted money and time on trying to please someone who wasn’t us.
This is my preference.
I am single, so I usually do my favorite simple things.
Hot air balloon ride.
Would you let your teenager go to parties if you knew there was alcohol, maybe drugs, and casual hook ups going on at these parties? It seems to be the norm in our town and trying to figure out what to do when my middle schooler goes to high school.
No way. Aside from the normal risks, I’ve heard ADAs and deputies in court cite county “policies” for prosecuting kids at these parties.
Absolutely not. Being a parent is hard. And being the kid of parents who parent is hard. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. And kid will understand why you did it in 20 years.
as the mother of a teenager (and a former teenager myself) how exactly do you think you can enforce this rule? and what do you consider a casual hook up? i am comfortable with my teenagers randomly smooching someone now and again, i don’t want to see it or know about it but certainly theoretically i think that’s age appropriate.
Hook up means much more than kissing, in this day and age.
I’m curious how much more it means in actuality — I forget where I read it but I remember reading something about how like three boys will take a preteen girl into a bathroom and she has to give one of them a BJ? Also how all teenage boys think people want to be choked during sex?
Hooked up at least 15-20 years ago was you’re off by yourselves, at least some clothes removed, like either 2nd or 3rd base. Basically anything short of P in V.
No, a “hookup” has always been the actual act between uncommitted partners.
This was at least somewhat regional in the early aughts. Hilarity ensued at college after I learned that when a new friend from a rural place said “hook up” she meant MUCH more than a little make out session, which is how we’d used that term in the suburbs.
‘casual hook up’ is not a stray kiss. like even in the 90s when I was in high school that was NSFW territory.
Blowjobs. I am the OP and I am a therapist and know of all this stuff going on because I work with teens and they tell me, I also have a tween so trying to think of my own plan.
Blowjobs. I am the OP and I am a therapist and know of all this stuff going on because I work with teens and they tell me, I also have a tween so trying to think of my own plan.
Yikes—you are a therapist who works with teens and don’t have a plan? Read some Lisa Damour, stat.
I read all of Lisa Damour’s book. It’s actually more complicated than you would think, as you can probably tell by all the nuances in all the comments. I am guessing you are not a parent of a teen.
previous poster here: I do have a teen. Your literal job is to be an expert in advising parents on this.
This. Sorry not sorry.
When you were in highschool did you go to parties with these things? I certainly did and I think it’s important to instill good judgement more so that keep your kid locked up and trapped
Agreed
i’m more concerned about my kid who had no freedom and no privacy getting black out drunk his first weekend in college because I sent him there totally ill equipped to manage himself in informal social situations.
Yeah my first weekend of college I had to play mom because so many of my peers needed their stomachs pumped and went off the deep end.
Better for them to first find themselves in that situation at age 18 than at age 14.
When you’re 14 you have a few coolers, you don’t have a keg and poison yourself. So by the time you are 18 you know enough about tolerance to make good decisions.
No, when you’re 14 you have a beer and then get pushed into a room by three 19-year-old senior boys.
This is where maybe you worry more about your kid and their wingmen or wingwomen. Good buddies make bad things better. Bad buddies throw gas in a fire.
19 year old seniors?!? What the hell….
With redshirting lots of high school seniors are 19 these days.
I didn’t and neither did my friends. We also never did this type of thing in college. We hung out and had fun together, but it was more tame and mundane stuff like late night homework sessions, Nintendo binge, arcade games at the bowling alley, movies on Friday, etc. My parents would not have let me go to parties like these, but at the same time they were not a normal activity in the circle I ran with anyhow.
I was firmly a nerd, top of my class, and we still went to concerts and smoked MJ.
Same but alcohol vs MJ or anything harder. I loved a party.
Yeah, I’m not that old and while I knew where the stoners hung out and which kids were having the alcohol-fueled parties, I had no interest and did the stuff listed above. You don’t get to decide what your kid is interested in our who their friends are, but an assumption that all kids are going to end up in a social situation where their peers are drunk/high is just untrue. For some kids, forbidding them from such parties would be a non-issue since they didn’t want to go anyway, others would pout about how you’ve ruined their social life and sneak out to go to the parties anyway, so no universal answers here.
Yeah, all my HS friends with the strictest parents did the most dangerous stuff. Anecdata, for sure, but I don’t think you can stop your kids from doing these things if that’s what they are determined to do. My mom was much more permissive with what I was allowed to do in terms of going out and staying out but the deal was that I am always honest about what I a, doing and that I am responsible about my choices. I would say I mostly upheld my end of the bargain and am grateful to her for being open to that.
Among my teen daughter’s peers it’s the opposite. The ones with strict, involved parents are the ones who don’t get in trouble. The parents of the partiers are partiers themselves.
That is my experience too.
Definitely agree with this
I mean, strict is a spectrum right? If you’re talking strict like not allowed to date in high school or not allowed to sleep over at a close trusted friend of the same sex, yes that’s overprotective and kids will rebel. But strict as in demand good grades, responsibility and not getting caught with dr*gs or alcohol I think those kids generally turn out well. That was my parents and my close friends’ parents and all of us drank a bit in college (underage) but nothing worse than that.
I’m cracking up, my strict parents were shocked to learn many years later that no, I was not watching blockbuster movies at my friend’s house and in fact we were out at parties getting drunk and kissing boys. I ended up doing just fine in life.
No, but even at the time I didn’t want any part of the fall out of some what went down at those parties according to peers who did go.
100%
Completely agree. Also you can parent by giving them guidance about how to handle situations. Preventing them from participating isn’t going to do anything other than stunt their development.
I’m curious — who is hosting these parties? IDK that side of things. I know which houses and situations are questionable but most kids I know with boring married parents who can’t pull this off. Families who have an older sibling who needs to be brought to or gotten from college multiple times a year and some divorced parents where the parent is gone a lot but the kid has a key were where the action seems to be at. Otherwise, they can work for it. I’m not driving them to Kegs R Us and expect my driving kid to be able to make adult decisions given the adult consequences that can happen.
When we moved to the suburbs our realtor told us, in all seriousness, that you WANT the parties to be at your house because then your kid isn’t driving home. yay?
OMG holy liability, Batman!
Seriously…. hope they have a big umbrella policy.
My in-laws did this with their 4th kid. DH was the oldest, and they were strict with him. They never would have let him attend or volunteered to host parties with alcohol or casual hookups. Kid #2 was a rule follower, and they didn’t need to be strict. Kid #3 snuck around, got found out some of the time, and maybe wore them down a bit.
By the time the 4th kid was in high school, the parties were at their house. They collected the keys, put a keg on the back porch, and let the kids let loose a little. No hard liquor or drugs that they knew of (and actually, they were the “cool parents” who these kids shared a weird amount of information with, so I actually believe that was mostly true). There were plenty of casual hookups though, as the older kids were in college and there were 2-3 extra bedrooms.
Sort of wondering the same thing. My parents helped us navigate it by allowing us to go late and leave early.
Basically I blamed chores for being late and strict parents picking me up for leaving early and only having one drink (that I brought myself). Parents didn’t officially know the last part.
Would I encourage it? No. But am I okay with it happening once in a while, most likely yes, though this is somewhat dependent on the kid and their peer group. Some kids are clearly better able to navigate these situations than others, especially early in high school, but you’re not going to be able to keep them locked up forever.
I am curious whether the people saying they’d allow it are parents, and whether they are parents of girls or boys. I would not put my daughter in a position to be the target of assault.
I wouldn’t put a boy in a position like that, either. Even to be a bystander.
They will, to be sure, both be in those positions. But I worry for each, just differently.
This was the norm when I was growing up too. In fact, we were doing this in Junior High.
Fortunately, my mother and I had a great relationship. Thinking back, she never told me NOT to do these things, but we talked a little about peer pressure, and that saying “no thanks” was a complete answer. And she told me I could call her anytime and she would come pick me up. And if anyone ever made me feel uncomfortable, I should walk away.
I still got myself way over my head, and was taken advantage of.
This was basically all parties when I was in HS in the early 90s. I never wanted to try drinking or drugs, and no one wanted to hook up with me, so I guess I don’t see the party as necessarily the problem. That said, I have a 7th grader now and am not sure how I will deal with this for him.
Depends.
Late teenager/college student, who’s generally responsible and whose friends aren’t complete chuckleheads? Then there’s some value in keeping the lines of communication open.
I think 15 and 18 are different. Know your kid, try to enforce reasonable boundaries but do not trap them at home for their entire teenage years. My kid is younger so I don’t have any first hand experience of this, but I went to parties in high school, had a boyfriend, drank some alcohol, etc, and didn’t do anything crazy. I’m grateful that my mom was pretty open about all of these things and would always come and pick me up if I called.
I was a total rule follower so it was pretty much a moot point but my parents drilled it into me that they would ALWAYS come get me, no questions asked, if I needed a way out of an unsafe situation – tell your kids that even if you think they know.
First, not a parent. But, I think the more important thing is reinforcing lots of unconditional support for when these things happen. All of us were teenagers and all of us did things our parents wouldn’t let us do. We had frank discussions about drug use realities and hooking up (pregnancy). I knew I could call if something happened. Did I drink underage? Yes. I also knew to not take drinks from anyone else. Not to leave my friends behind, etc. If I was a parent, I would reinforce smart personal behavior for when this happens. I agree 14 is much too young but 16+ probably gets harder especially when driving.
Nope. I also don’t understand how this is a question. If all your friends pushed their kids off a bridge would you do it too?
Watch some video of Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony and then tell us what you think.
ugh Hegseth is closer to being nominated. such a rapey drunk POS. one of the allegations particularly disturbed me because she had zero memory of it beyond waking up in his room and was ON VACATION WITH HER HUSBAND AND SMALL CHILDREN. yet he said it was totally consensual. who hooks up when you’re on vacation with small kids?
He is nominated. Confirmed?
And per his sister in law, his ex wife would hide in a closet and had a safe word for when he got to be too much….
But you know, at least we are getting rid of all that yucky feminine corporate culture, right?
I’m sure this guy is a rapist and a-hole but plenty of people hook up w/strangers while on vacation with small kids. It’s (obviously!) not great parenting but it happens.
late in the day, but — does anyone have a brick patio, and what are you doing about weeds? we’re in the midwest.
Get a weed torch. Fun and effective.
Obviously do that only if weather permits. We have had droughts and burning bans in my county often in the summer in the past years, so please don’t light your dry grass (and neighborhood) on fire.
I don’t anymore, but when I did, I’d weed by hand or periodically pour boiling water on them.
Boiling water, or vinegar sprayed directly on the weeds.
Mississippi lawmaker proposed an absurd bill. His comments about the bill, however, are on point (link to article below).
https://www.newsweek.com/mississippi-contraception-begins-erection-act-abortion-rights-senate-2019615