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Weekend Open Thread:

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489 Comments

  1. So, I have a great black & cream graphic print silk pencil skirt that I want to wear with a bright colored cardi (my typical work uniform is a skirt, top & cardi). If I wear, say, a mustard colored cardi, or kelly green, or dark purple, what color top should I wear? Does it have to be cream or black? Sometimes I just don’t know about color combos, and you ladies rock at it.

    1. No! Mix and match the colours of your tops and cardis please.

      Mustard seems to go with everything. Purple I would rock with teal/turquoise, mustard, orange or pink. Green, maybe a petrol blue or mint. And grey goes with everything!

  2. Found out I got a 4.0 for my 1L year. Also just got an e-mail from my Contracts professor saying I got the highest grade in my section. He11 yeah. I’m on cloud 9 and just had to get it off my chest somewhere. I have two kids and last semester was a struggle.

    1. CONGRATS! This is great. Enjoy your summer and good luck rockin’ OCI in the fall!

    2. CONGRATULATIONS!!! What a great accomplishment.

      Enjoy a beer (or 4) this weekend!

    4. Not so much of a struggle that you didn’t do great :-)! Very nice of your professor to give you a nice additional note too. Congratulations!

  3. I am in the process of negotiating an employment agreement with a smallish firm. I worked for a couple years as a government attorney prior to this new job, and do not have a good understanding of what is reasonable. My main question is about the hourly rate I will be paid in relation to my billable rate. The firm is proposing to pay me about one third of my billable rate. Is this reasonable?
    Thanks in advance!

    1. I think the general rule is that of your rate, 1/3 is salary, 1/3 is overhead, and 1/3 is profit for the firm.

      1. hmmph, well, in that case, my BigLaw firm is *definitely* underpaying me.

  4. Bra shopping PSA/reviews.

    I know I’m not the only one who needs a small band but has been wearing 32s just because it’s so difficult to find anything lower. I’d been making do with VS 32B–and even that usually has to be bought online–but looseness around the rib cage was bothering me, especially as they stretched out.

    “Little Bra Company” 28c: Good band fit, but cups way too small and hit in weird places! Had to return. I didn’t think getting a D made any sense for me, and anyway I’m not sure they carried it.

    Betsey Johnson 30c: Hooray! (Got at Nordstrom and HerRoom online). B cup would have been too small (they don’t do it in 30 anyway), C is perfect. Band size feels like more than a 2-inch difference, and it seems they will be slower to stretch out than the VS ones.

    Unfortunately, can’t find many fun colors or patterns in small band sizes, but correct fit is more important. Anyone else in my boat, I recommend Betsey Johnson at least to start. If anyone has other brands to recommend, please share. I was amazed by how few options I could find online (at least lower than $50).

    1. I am not in your boat (34 band size, which admittedly makes it a bit easier) – but just had to pipe in to say how much luck I have had with Betsey Johnson bras and undies. Also PJs & nighties. And unlike with my blazers, I appreciate the random frilly details in this part of wardrobe.

      1. Thanks! I still appreciate your comments because I was wondering about Betsey Johnson bra quality. If you’ve been happy with yours, chances are I won’t have to replace these as soon as the VS ones either.

        1. Betsey Johnson stuff is cute. My experience is with proper care they keep their shape and wear well.

    2. I recently got an advert from BareNecessities dot com touting their new line of smaller-sized bras. I think it was designed by Bethenny Frankel, which may be a turnoff. But anyway, that might be a good place to look. I’ve also heard good things about the Itty Bitty Bra Company.

    3. You may be interested in the Bra Band Project, which was begun by a group of bloggers to prove that there is a market for 28 bands so that companies will make more of them. Here’s a link to their flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/people/76304212@N06/ Although the emphasis is on D+ cups, they recognize that there is a need for 26-30 bands in all cups–they’ve only begun with larger cup sizes because that is what they wear.

    4. Try the 28D. You seem to have the “D=big and I’m not” mental block, but the cup size on the 28D is literally exactly the same as on the 30C that you say fits perfectly.

      1. Excellent point PghAnon, I second that.
        Yes, it’s a problem when you figure out that you’re a nonstandard size, but it’s less of a problem than keeping on with ill-fitting bras. Especially if you are a big cup size, as bad fit can lead to back pain. Am appalled that a friend of mine is getting surgery next week because she’s never addressed this properly :-(. And I didn’t notice soon enough :-(.
        Back to topic, sorry: VS is just not good quality. I like Wacoal myself :-), but don’t know if they’d have sizes for you. You’d never put a bra in a dryer, would you??

  5. I’d like flat notecards with my initials on them. ive tried etsy but I have such a hard time searching there. does anyone have suggestions?

    1. Crane & Co? You can also check out companies that do wedding invitations – when I used to work at a high-end card store in college, we would get people coming to look for just monogramed cards as well.

    2. Crane is a great suggestion – I love their stuff. But if you want to spend a little less, check out www dot expressionery dot com. I have used their flat cards for gifts for new professionals and have a vast array for myself. I think they are think enough to be quality grade but also don’t break the bank.

    3. Of all surprising places, I recommend Party City. They have a print shop that does wedding invitations, and that sort of thing for very cheap compared to what I’ve found elsewhere. You can get personalized stationery in pretty much any possible design, monogrammed, any color for the lettering (raised lettering too, not just some computer print out cr@p).

    6. Try American Stationary. I’ve ordered from them for years – great quality and prices.

  6. Ladies, where do you change your watch batteries? I have a “fancy” watch and always go to the “fancy watch store” but is that really necessary? Is it really bad to just get a generic battery from the cobbler? Do I have to go out of my way to go to a store that closes at 6 pm every freaking day?

    2. I’ve taken a Gucci watch to Kay Jewelers for battery replacement. They do a good job and the battery replacement is lifetime, ie after they first time you pay, you can get the battery replaced free of charge.

      (Haven’t been there in years though, so I’m not sure it’s still in effect.)

    4. The watch counter at Macy’s. They are great. I bet you could do it yourself too but I never bother.

      1. Thanks, guys!
        I went to my local cobbler, he did it in about 5 minutes and it cost $10. Victory!
        I had been walking around sans watch for 2 weeks now because I could never make it to the watch store, not sure what I was afraid of…

        1. It’s not you, it’s deliberately misleading advertising :-)..
          There, you’re free now.

  7. Urgent threadjack: I have to appear with my attorney in court Monday morning for a custody dispute. My ex keeps dragging me in to court. He projects a very intense, “concerned parent” aura and makes all kinds of claims that I’m a bad parent, which some commissioners fall for at first, though (expensive, GAL or parenting evaluator) research has always delivered the win to me in the end. Question: I will stand next to my attorney, facing the commissioner, while my attorney does all the talking. Suggestions for how to stand, where to look, what to wear to counterbalance the apparently favorable he gives? I noticed someone else one time looking down the whole time while his attorney spoke — understandable, because he was uncomfortable and his attorney did the talking. But I think it made him look shifty. Help, please!!!!

    1. First off, as to what to wear, I’d wear a suit or something similar. As close as you can get.

      As for where to stand and look, this is something that would really be good to ask your attorney. But I’d presume you should look at the commissioner mostly.

      1. Thanks for taking time to respond, TCFKAG. I will definitely ask my attorney, but can’t (wouldn’t anyway) bug her over the weekend and I am obsessing… Appreciate it! I want to look maternal and unthreatening (he is repeating claims of emotional abuse that were disproven the first time by a parenting evaluator) so picked a pastel jacket and off-white skirt.

        1. Wear glasses if you have em. There’s been a host of studies in the criminal arena that glasses have a non-threatening effect on juries, so maybe it will translate. Good luck.

        2. Pretend you’re on a job interview instead. Same clothes, same demeanor. Don’t let the bastard put you off balance. And good luck!

  8. You guise. I think I need to detox. I know I won’t be able to do it for long, but a couple of days really couldn’t hurt. Any tips for a quick and easy(ish) detox? I was reading some stuff about drinking water with lemon before breakfast and only eating fruit and yoghurt, but i think I need a bit more structure than that…

    1. I just finished reading People magazine on the treadmill and there’s a whole page on Dr. Oz’s 2-day cleanse. Breakfast is millet with pears, the between meal snack is Dr. Oz’s detox drink (juice made of greens and citrus), lunch is a fresh fruit rejuvenating smoothie, and dinner is vegetable soup. All of the recipes are in the magazine. I know you’re in London, so I searched their website and it didn’t come up but when I googled Dr. Oz two day cleanse, a slightly different version popped up. Anyway it looks pretty do-able and the recipes are fairly simple other than having a ton of ingredients.

    2. I really recommend just making sure to eat whole (“real” and non-processed) food in reasonable amounts for the time you would have allotted to the cleanse. Our bodies do not need to be detoxified in the “cleanse” manner because our bodies are naturally self-“cleaning” machines. (Machines. He he.)

      I understand the psychological raw of “cleanses” and I think this could be accomplished in a physically healthier – and fun! – way: making sure to eat only non-processed foods during a certain period of time can really be fun as you try all new kinds of foods and recipes. :) :)

    3. Best detox ever:

      * as much plant matter (veggies or fruit) as you want in as unprocessed a state as you can eat it (raw or steamed, no or very little sauce — balsamic vinegar or lemon juice with a tiny bit of olive oil).

      * eggs and lean protein (fish, chicken) cooked plainly — eggs scrambled, fish or chicken steamed.

      * no caffeine (decaf green tea instead).

      * no alcohol.

      * no dairy.

      * no processed foods.

      After 2-4 weeks, you will feel amazing.

  9. Any suggestions for people taking the bar in a second state? I have been practicing for four years (oh how I wish it was five), and passed the bar in my first state on the first try. I took BarBri the first time, but did not feel it necessary this time. I am not working at the moment, so I can study on the same general schedule as the classes. I bought used BarBri books and downloaded the schedule from their website and am following the subjects. I also have purchased an MBE book that comes highly recommended. My plan is to study about 5 – 6 hours a day. I have been doing multiple choice questions after I finish each subject matter.

    I’m not freaking out because I think I will pass it, but I also don’t want to become complacent. A lot of the MBE topics are coming back to me just fine, but I am concerned about learning the VA stuff. Should I focus more on the VA stuff than the MBE?? Any tips are greatly appreciated.

    1. Your plan sounds fine; I’ve taken a couple of different bar exams, and for one of those I did essentially what you are describing, although I was working, so it didn’t get 5-6 hours a day! Honestly, I think it depends on the state, but if it were me (and it won’t be, because I’m never taking another bar exam!) I might focus first on the MBE topics, then work on the VA specifics. If the MBC topics are coming back to you easily, then maybe a quick refresher will suffice and you can spend more time on the new VA topics which will be fresher in your mind for the bar.

      Good luck!

    2. Licensed in VA (and having taken the VA barzam more than once), I would say it would depend on how far away from VA law your original state was. There’s VA-specific vocab and concepts that you can’t fudge your way through by saying, “In Virginia, [thing that’s true everywhere else].” I think it would also depend on how well you do with the MBE stuff.

      Also, IME, don’t listen to what BarBri tells you the essays that will be on the exam. Learned that the hard way. But otherwise you don’t have to know everything cold, but at least know all the VA-specific points cold.

  10. I’m not really Anne Bronte. I just wanted to ask you ladies if you had ever had an extended period of time when you felt you could not get control. I don’t feel that I have control over my eating, or my wine-drinking, or the ants in my apartment, or much of anything. I have a husband I love but he’s had s*xual function problems for years. Either he’s just depressed, or it’s me. I’m overweight, have been to one degree or another all my life, and have gotten even too fat for last summer’s clothes. I have a good job (not law) in a rapidly declining industry that, at 42, I am aging out of. I’m already on antidepressants!

    I just wanted to ask you women, of whom I have come to be fond, if you ever had a period in your life when you couldn’t get your crap together and despaired that you ever would. I’m not really looking for help with my whining, I am just wondering if there are other people out there who are looking around and thinking, WTF.

    1. Wow, you could have been describing my life 7 or 8 years ago. I’m sorry you’re going through this. About your husband – I doubt if it’s you. If it’s psychological and not physical, it’s something in his own head that he needs to deal with. Don’t blame yourself. My ex (my husband at the time) was unemployed and had ongoing dysfunction problems, I was stressed beyond belief in my job, losing my hair, seriously overweight, and had high blood pressure. I went away to a conference and, over that weekend, I realized that I needed to start eating better and that I was eating too much and eating when I wasn’t hungry. I started eating better and eating less, cut out alcohol, ate dessert sparingly, and started exercising (walking a lot at first). My ex and I would actually go for long walks together – in retrospect, I’m not sure that was helpful. I lost 90 pounds, Katrina hit, and my husband left. But that’s me. You need to do some things for yourself. Exercise will probably do wonders for you – it’ll help you lose weight and the endorphins will help you feel better. For me strength training (weights) has made me feel very powerful and in control. Are you in therapy in addition to the antidepressants? That might not be a bad idea. It will get better.

    2. Yes, I’ve felt like this before. You know what helped? A psychiatrist. Don’t be embarrassed. Modern medicine works. You deserve to feel better, so don’t hesitate to ask for the help you need.

    3. I wish I couldn’t relate to you, but I do! I look around at all my to do lists, all the things I want to accomplish, and I don’t see myself getting there. Like you, I’m on antidepressants, and I see a therapist regularly. I think it’s just a phase, but I’m wondering when I will snap out of it. I think NOLA’s advice about food and exercise has a lot to do with it, but I keep falling short in the self-discipline department right now.

    4. One more thought on this. You might want to step back and think about what you *need* to have control over. There are things I’m very self-disciplined about (working out, my productivity at work, alcohol) and other things I’m not (chocolate, cleaning my house). You might need to pick your battles so you don’t feel completely overwhelmed. Also, years ago, a friend of mine told me that she was working on being more comfortable with “not knowing.” Basically, not obsessing about how things will come out in the future. You can be a good person and do good things, but you can’t control the world around you or the people. I take a long-term optimistic view of my life because when I have let go of having to know and just focus on my own choices and try to be a good person, things have come out great.

      1. Thanks, all of you — I greatly appreciate it. I haven’t been in therapy for a good long while and have been thinking it might be time to go back. NOLA, picking your battles makes complete sense. (I think there have been studies that show willpower literally is like a muscle and gets exhausted.) And I hear you on the not-knowing. The funny thing is that when I’ve been able to do this in the past, things really have pretty much worked out. But for some reason that hasn’t cured my need to obsess.

        Anyway, again, many thanks for the hive wisdom. I knew it wouldn’t fail me!

        1. For working out, half the battle is retraining your will power to just get to the gym. Does your gym have anything that is fun like a massage chair or red light machine? I started by going to the gym after work, using the red light machine, and going home. When I decided I wanted to work out in the morning, I gave myself the easiest to accomplish task like “ride bike leisurely and read magazine.” It wasn’t much of a workout but I accomplished getting out of bed, getting there, and getting in the habit of getting ready for work from the gym. From there I kept increasing my exercise until I was actually really working out. Baby steps.

        2. It took me a long time and a lot of practice to get over the anxiety of wanting to know how things were going to be in the future. I took a cue from my friend and approached it mindfully. When you start to obsess, remind yourself over and over that you don’t need to know and things will be fine. As things got better in my life it got easier to look back and realize that I didn’t have to know.

        3. For me the best way to deal with the willpower muscle is to set life up so I don’t need it as much. So, if food is a problem, try and automate things, step by step. Like maybe start by identifying a healthy breakfast (for me, oatmeal and blueberries) and then making sure everything you need for that (fresh milk, clean bowls and spoons) is ready to go Sunday night. And then that week- that’s your thing. Doesn’t matter if the rest of the stuff you eat is the usual crap and the house is a mess, you are taking control of one little thing at a time.

          But I also thing therapy would be a good start, to help you develop new patterns and habits.

    5. Yes, from time to time I do feel overwhelmed like this. Luckily it has passed pretty quickly in the past. Some things that help, in addition to the things already mentioned:

      Focus on the things that you are grateful for/happy with. I also tend to think of specific people who I know are much worse off than myself and are managing to get through (a childhood friend who has lymphoma, in her early 20s, and has been struggling with the treatments for 2+ years now; people I encounter at the social services agency where I work). Its sort of a trite thing, but it makes my problems seem more manageable.

      Secondly, do you spend a lot of time watching tv/on the computer when you get home? When I go through periods where I just can’t get control over my apartment/life, I make a conscious effort to limit internet and TV time. I won’t even turn on my laptop when I get home, and I’ll only watch TV if I’m also doing something else (treadmill, ironing, etc). It is amazing how much more I get done when I’m not spending hours on the internet.

    6. There are a couple bloggers, particularly ZenHabits, that discuss this. My favorite advice is to start small: 5 minutes a day toward a goal. For example with the ants, day 1 5 minutes could be picking up a can of Raid. Day 2 5 minutes could be cleaning one cupboard, the one closest to where the ants are coming in. Day 3, one more cupboard. It doesn’t really matter what you do, but the point is pick just one goal, and just put 5 minutes toward it. If you miss a day it doesn’t matter, just do the best you can.

      After you have some semblance of control over one goal, in say a month, move on to the next. By doing things one at a time, and just 5 minutes, you can get a little confidence boost and feel just a little bit more in control over your life and your decisions, without ever getting overwhelmed.

      www (dot) nomeatathlete (dot) com / limitless /

      wrote an article about this system, its worth reading in my opinion.

    7. Consider that the anti-depressants could be at least part of the problem. Definitely the husband problems, and the weight, at least. Besides, it makes no sense to be on them without proper therapy.

  11. Does anyone have an IUD?

    If so, how much does it hurt when it’s inserted? I can’t use hormonal birth control, and an IUD seems so much more effective than a diaphragm. But I’ve also heard it can be painful. For those of you who have it, are you happy with it?

    1. Hey Bluejay — if you search google [this site] Mirena you will find lots of threads about IUDs.

      Brief summary, I have a Mirena because I can’t take hormonal birth control of any kind. Because I had never had children and for other reasons, it hurt like an absolute b* going in. If you can get a doctor to prescribe some kind of anti-anxiety or muscle relaxant first, that might help. BUT, since then — I’ve loved mine — five years, no worry birth control, and I don’t get my period at all.

      But, others have reported serious cramping problems with the IUD as well as other issues. So I’d do the search to see what the variety of thoughts were.

        1. That is true, but the amount of hormones is much lower and the type of hormones cause less of a risk of blood clots, which is my specific issue. But there is info in those threads about the completely non-hormonal IUDs as well, which have more side effects. Which is why I was recommending she search there.

      2. Thanks. Yeah, I actually should have been more clear – I’m thinking of the traditional IUD, not Mirena, because Mirena uses progesterone. But the pain level is probably the same with both. I need to discuss with my gyno, of course, but sometimes doctors aren’t entirely accurate (to put it mildly) in their description of how something is going to feel.

      3. It doesn’t freak you out 100% to not get your period? I feel I would be so paranoid every month I was pregnant! That’s the only reason I use the dummy pills in my packs, just so I have some indication I’m not pregnant.

        1. The first couple months maybe it worries you — but then you kind of move on. Or at least I did. :-)

        2. i still get my cycle some months. Now being 3 years out from getting my IUD, they are very light, but I sometimes still get them. So, it doesn’t freak me out.

    2. I have the non-hormonal IUD (hormones make me nuts!) and loved it. I got pregnant with my first while on diaphragm. I have had slightly heavier periods, but without cramping, so I’ve spent the last nine years having to keep track, because I’ve been surprised more in the last two years than previous 18!!! They said it would pinch upon insertion, but as I’d just had two non-medicated deliveries within 16 months, I don’t think I actually noticed – lol. Alas, the baby is approaching 10, so I am now starting to try to convince my husband to get a vasectomy so we don’t have to worry about b/c this has to come out soon…. But I don’t think about b/c at all….

      1. Thanks – this is encouraging. I don’t want to use the diaphragm for exactly the reason you mention – relatively high “failure” rate (not that I consider babies a failure; just that I don’t want one). I’m in a monogamous relationship, and it would be great not to have to think about BC at all.

        1. I also have the copper (non-hormone) one – Paraguard. It hurts quite a bit for me going in (I’m on my second one – got it after an intervening pregnancy). I learned my lesson after the first and took 600mg ibuprofen before the second insertion. Still painful, but no real residual cramping with the ibuprofen. When I say “painful” though, we’re not even talking on the same spectrum as childbirth. I love it – I never have to think about birth control.

    3. I haven’t had an IUD (contraindicated because I’ve had a previous ectopic), but I have had a uterine biopsy and I would imagine the discomfort being very similar. I got some great advice to take a Percocet before the procedure (happened to have some lying around from a m/c I’d had a few months before). The biopsy didn’t bother me at all, and the doctor was shocked I was so calm. :-) So if you can get your hands on the good stuff, I’d advise it.

      1. Thanks! I’m going to the gyno on Monday, but as I understand it I’ll have to make a follow-up appointment for IUD insertion if we decide to go that route. I will just ask her if she’ll write me an Rx for some strong painkillers – if that’s a possibility it will make the process a lot more palatable to me. I can always get a taxi home and sleep for the rest of the day.

        1. I am the hugest baby about pain, seriously, I do actually faint when getting shots sometimes, it’s pathetic. And my IUD insertion (the Mirena) was really not as bad as I was building it up to be. I definitely felt it, but it was fast, and once it was over, I had forgotten about it in a couple of days. You should definitely talk to your doc ahead of time, I did and explained that I was a big baby, and she gave me lots of advice and took things really slowly through the whole process, setting the appt and everything, and made it as calm and comfortable for me as possible. So, you are on the right track, talk to your doc, take something before the appt, and have someone drive you so you can go home and relax the rest of the day.

          The first few months were sometimes uncomfortable, but that all passed quickly, and now i am sooo glad that i have it. It makes things so easy, and i don’t have the reactions from the hormones in the pill, and i almost never have to think about it. I highly recommend.

    4. I have used copper IUDs since 1984, when I was 18. First I used Copper 7. Then Copper T. Now I have a Paraguard. I LOVE LOVE LOVE them.

      If they are inserted by an experienced MD, the insertion itself is like a bad Pap smear and the cramps after are just a bad period for a day or so. Ask for muscle relaxants to take a couple hours before your appointment. The MD also will have you take antibiotics the day before and day of just to make sure.

      It is a little bit more painful to have it removed. You cough while the MD tugs gently.

      I’ve had five of them now (I think. Maybe six.) I would never use anything else.

    5. I read these, but wanted to add my two cents –

      The insertion of my Mirena was the most painful female event I have ever experienced. I had not had children beforehand. It hurt, I cried, then I drove home, and by the time I got home I was basically crawling into the house the cramps were so strong and painful. I called my husband who was 4 hours away at a conference and said he had to come home immediately, it was an emergency….called the doctor, who said it must be expelling itself, and to take a bunch of advil and if it got worse, to come in, but otherwise it should be expelled in a day or so. Laid on the floor in the bathroom because the cramps were so strong that I’d vomit at the same time. Finally husband came home via doctor who had pain medication…I slept on and off the next 24 hours.

      Turns out it did not expel itself, had it in for the next four years, and after that it was great…but I don’t think I can ever have another one put in.

    6. It can hurt so badly that my mother (mild-mannered 5’2″) actually kicked the doctor in the stomach to make him stop. Hopefully it won’t be your experience, but be prepared for real pain, and get some drugs if you can.
      An IUD is not hormones, which you know can be really good for many of us (DES daughter here). And it’s as good as menopause in terms of low-maintenance :-).

  12. Hoping the hive can help with recommendations for a hotel in London. Will be there in July (before Olympics) and have 3 days to see the sights (it’s been years since I’ve been and DH’s first trip). Would like to be in an area near tourist sites, good restaurants, nightlife. Hope to spend under $400 per night if possible (I know it’s expensive). TIA!! (any recs for restaurants, etc also much appreciated)

    1. I live in Shoreditch, and there are some nice hotels over here. It’s technically East London, but not very far east and the main sights are maybe a 15 minute ride on the tube away. Check out The Hoxton for a cheaper hotel (I have friends who paid $150 a night to stay there).

      Food: Tayyabs in Whitechapel is the best (cheap) Indian food in London. Song Que on Kingsland Road is the best Vietnamese. Hakkasan is amazing, but expensive. What kind of nightlife are you looking for?

    3. I highly recommend the Firmdale hotel group — I had a great experience at their Knightsbridge Hotel in April 2011. I believe they just opened a new hotel in Marylebone. The Soho would probably the best location to pick to be near nightlife. No. Sixteen is slightly less expensive as it’s the farthest out — but it’s right near the South Kensington Tube station so you can get anywhere quickly, and it’s right near the V&A Museum and lots of great restaurants.
      http://www.firmdale.com

      1. And if you do stay at one of their hotels, definitely have the breakfast and afternoon tea at least once! I’m a foodie who lives in SF and yet I am *still* reminiscing about those breakfasts and afternoon tea one year later.

        Didn’t do any high-end restaurants during my trip b/c I was traveling solo but I had a great time wandering around and eating at Borough Market (esp. loved the Ginger Pig). I love Paul (the Parisian bakery) for lemon tarts and other pastries. Peyton & Byrne is a local bakery/cafe chain that is also excellent. Other favorite takeaways/cafes: Ottolenghi (several locations); La Bottega (ditto); Monmouth Coffee Co.; Maoz; Le Pain Quoditien; Cyprus Mangal (near Victoria Station). Oh — Brindisa, in South Kensington, has wonderful Spanish food.

    4. Last summer I got a great deal on Citadines, which is actually a studio, aimed more at business people. Great location in central London, a well-stocked kitchen with housework included, comfortable and modern, the only drawback was the laundromat extortion prices. I highly recommend it..

  13. I’m in a rut and need to get out of the habit of wearing jeans. Suits are not really an option though except on very special days – agency director briefings, special fairs, etc. It’s a government office where the 15s wear Alfred Dunner and dress like my mother. Only the male SES’s wear suits on a regular basis. I’m trying to find something between my previous corporate suit wear and the nonbusiness casual that I’m in.

    Any suggestions on where to start or find something that is dressy/professional but would not look too out of place in my office.

    1. What about suiting trousers, a shell and a cardigan? Or a pencil skirt, shell and cardigan. Or a more casual blazer that coordinates with the trousers or skirts.

      1. What you described is considered dressed up where I work. The type of dressed up that starts comments that you are looking for a new job within or outside the agency. That wouldn’t be too bad except most of the supervisors take an employee leaving them, or “wanting” to leave, as a personal affront. There’s a crazy fine line between acceptable and unacceptable dressiness.

        1. I kinda think just dress as you wish. It’ll only be odd for a week or two and then it will just become normal.

          1. Agree. And with a few thousand people at your location, it’s hard to imagine that none of them dress that way on a regular basis. I work in a smaller agency and dress ranges from suits to sweats.

            You could incorporate things slowly. Just stop wearing jeans and wear trousers with your same tops, after a few weeks, introduce a pencil skirt now and again. Start changing out your tops a few at a time to a dressier look, then add the “third” piece of a cardi or jacket. Or the opposite, add the nicer tops and cardi or jackets to your jeans, then slowly get rid of the jeans.

        2. How about what she said but instead of suiting type pants, a trouser cut jean in a dark wash, and rather than the “professional” pencil skirt, one made of khaki material or a canvas-y material. What colors are the Alfred Dunner Ladies wearing? If they’re colors you can wear, meet the office palette, but with your own sort of outfit – a different way to blend.

    2. Sounds like you work at my govt agency. Maybe check out Ann Taylor Loft, Banana Republic, Limited, or even Gap.

      Honestly though, I wear a mixture of nice dark wash jeans and black pant/jeans and tops. Occasionally I wear a dress or pencil skirt. I always wear flats. Even with this casual wardrobe, I’m one of the nicer dressed people I see… pretty sad.

      1. That may be possible. There are a few thousand people in our location.

        Where do you find your flats? I’ve looked at all the mall stores, zappos, dsw. It seems like there are plain ballet flats or shoes that have been sequined and baubled within an inch of their life. Work appropriate ones that are a bit fun or interesting are few and far.

        1. I love the Cole Haan Maria Sharapova flats. They are a little pricey, but they are really comfortable and hold up better than cheaper flats. If you’re looking for flats at a lower price point, Nine West and Nordstrom’s BP brand have plain flats as well. I usually buy patent leather flats, so of that’s not your style these brands may not have what you’re looking for.

          Happy shopping! It shouldn’t seem difficult, but it’s harder than it seems to dress for this type of work place where you have some people wearing sweats (seriously!?!?) and then SES folks roaming the halls in suits.

        2. Another struggling gov’t worker…

          I wear pants (usually gray from AT or BR because they are washable) or dark wash trouser jeans (same stores; good for field work) with tops, cardigans and flats. I get my flats from Ecco outlet near me. They are more, but I find them to be supremely comfortable even when I spend the whole day on my feet. Nordstrom’s also stocks Ecco.

          Wish I could wear a jacket; that would make my life much easier.

    3. That sounds like my dream job…..lol. I love jeans…. and sad that I can only wear them on Fridays…..

      1. I can’t even wear ’em on Fridays :(

        But – if I could, I agree with the nicer dark wash jeans and a blazer or button down suggestion. I also think there are casual-ish dresses that could work well. Maybe something along these lines:
        http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/dknyc-roll-sleeve-shirtdress/3296300?origin=category&fashionColor=&resultback=2068
        Or one of those target merona dresses that get recommended here from time to time?

        For flats, I really like french sole. But their sizing can be a bit unorthodox so try on first.

    4. OP, you might want to check out some of the posts on “smart casual” or the “mom on the go” capsule outfits/wardrobes on the You Look Fab blog. (You definitely don’t have to be a mom for these to work — I’m not — it’s just the name the blog author/stylist first came up with.)
      http://www.youlookfab.com/blog

      1. Second. I think she has more practical suggestions than most people.
        Also check out the Vivienne files for similar style, and good ideas to stay grounded in sets that go together easily.

  14. Any suggestions on the cold wax? I just picked some of the Veet ones up, but I was curious about any hints you all might have. I never have waxed at all, fyi.

    1. That’s an item I have *never* had success with. Gave up on the stuff years ago, after trying several brands. My sensitive skin problem may have contributed to this, though! Good luck. Let us know if you find something good!

      1. Yeah, I haven’t looked back since my sister got me one of those ripper machines :-). The new ones are truly not painful, and it lasts even longer than wax.

  15. Hi! Don’t know if it’s too late in the day for this, but here goes;
    I’m sitting an exam in central London during the Olympics. I’ll have to take the train and then the tube (2.5h) to get there. It’s just a 3h written paper but I’ll only have two days to acclimatise, after life in a tropical city. Generally I’m fine, even at much colder times of the year, and never had problems on trips in the past.
    Would you have any tips for me, in how to dress on the day? Anything goes?
    Thanks in advance!

    1. Not dress related, but a caution about counting on the train and tube to both be running smoothly. Is there any way you can stay near the exam site the night before the exam? Or map out alternate transportation that you can take from various points if the train gets delayed (like a bus)? That way if there’s any problem with the train or tube, you’re not late to your exam.

      1. First, I’d suggest layers. That way, you are comfortable and all set no matter what.

        Second, regarding CA lawyer’s suggestion, if you already have your plan/hotel set, perhaps just planning on getting there really, really early. If there is somewhere in the are that you can kill a few hours, I’d probably go that route.

    2. London can be pretty warm that time of year, or cold and damp. You’ll have to wait until just before you get there to check. I’d suggest light layers, and getting a hotel room near the test site. If I’m reading this right, you’re flying in just for the test? So I think it would be worth the cost of a room to make sure you don’t miss it. 2.5 hours on the train and tube = a lot of time for things to go wrong, and its hard to predict what kind of delays the Olympics will cause.

  16. New to posting but I’ve been scouring Corporette and it has been so helpful as a new professional. Just wondering if I can get some thoughts on suit color. I’m in a business casual setting now (1L summer), but trying to only buy pieces that will work in a more formal setting as well. I bought a light-taupe colored skirt suit today at a great price and was wondering if this would be acceptable in a formal setting? It’s similar to the “Morning Fog” color at J.Crew (if you look at the Wool Crepe suiting).

    1. The Weekend Thread rather fizzles out on Sundays, so I suggest reposting this in this morning’s thread once it is posted.

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