Weekend Open Thread

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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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136 Comments

  1. I’m planning a trip to Italy with 3 kids in grade school (2nd through 5th grades). For those of you who have been to Rome, Florence, or Venice, are there specific activities you would recommend? Is there a way to make the museums/cathedrals more interesting for kids this age? If you can only go to either Venice or Florence, which one would you choose? We have to fly through London because there are no direct flights from our city, and we are planning to be in Europe for a total of 10 days in late May/early June. I am terrible at making travel plans (all of the choices and tradeoffs on time/pricing/itinerary options make me anxious), so any suggestions and recommendations are appreciated.

    1. I would probably choose Florence, but much to my surprise I loved Venice – I think you just have to be a little more selective there on what you do to not end up in a crazy tourist morass. Two of my favorite vacation activities ever were in/near each of those cities – from Florence, this fantastic truffle hunting tour (trufflehunter dot net) and in Venice, a rowing lesson (row venice dot org). Both would be very much kiddo friendly.

    2. I’m someone who went to law school a little later (graduated at 33) and then switched practice areas as a 5th year. So I’ve spend a lot of time where those supervising me are younger than I am, and it’s never been a problem. You should not worry about it. I respect folks who have more seniority than I do for their experience and skills. Obviously, just because I’m older doesn’t mean I know more about a particular area of law. I do appreciate it when people speak of experience levels rather than “younger lawyers” and “older lawyers.” It’s really just a matter of treating all people with respect and professional courtesy, whether they are senior or junior, older or younger.

    3. Get yourself copies of Mission: Rome and Mission: Florence — scavenger hunt books for kids. We used them to help plan and then as we toured the cities to keep kids interested and engaged. Use Context for semi-private family-oriented tours of large places like the Vatican and the Forum.

      1. we did Context tour in Florence and Vatican and Palentine Hill and they were amazing.
        Icon was also good.

    4. Unless your kids are frequently around canals (?) I would highly recommend Venice! There is no way they’d “get” the importance of the art in Florence at that age. Obviously if you can go to both, enjoy!

      1. I went to Venice when I was about 8 and the canals blew my mind. I like both cities, but think Venice is cooler than most people give it credit for, especially if not at the height of tourist season.

      2. I agree – I loved both cities, but Venice in the spring, when it’s not too crowded, is magical.

      3. Totally agree with this. I think Venice would be much “cooler” (awe inspiring) for elementary school kids than Florence. And this is coming from someone who also loves Florence! I just think it would be better appreciated when they are a bit older.

    5. I went to Venice age 8 and found it totally magical. I went back recently and loved it just as much. But I would recommend staying for at least a few days and staying away from the main tourist bits. It’s actually very quiet in the back streets and is really peaceful and fun. It’s really nice just wandering around, looking at canals, going on boats and eating pizza and gelato.

      1. Not the OP but planning a trip to Italy with a 7 year old and young 4 year old – definitely adding Venice to our list!

    6. I’d spend 2-3 days each in London, Rome and Florence. I loved Venice when I first visited in 2000 but hated it in 2015. Way too crowded with tourists.

      Don’t forget to visit Pisa from Florence. 1 hr away.

      My kids like to read up on cities and “make presentations” before we get there. They feel involved that way. Been doing it since my Son was 9. His kid Sister is his “assistant”.

    7. Years ago when I was in 5th grade and my sister was in 2nd grade, my parents took us to Italy for a week and a half, so it sounds remarkably similar to your plans! We went to Venice, Pisa, Florence, and Rome. Highlights and lowlights from the memory of a 10 year old:
      – My mom practiced some basic phrases in Italian with us in the month leading up to the trip, and we talked about how different countries have different languages and cultures (this was our first international trip). I loved learning how to say “good morning” in Italian.
      – I was fascinated by the idea of different money, so we talked about the exchange rate and got some coins in advance for me to study.
      – Venice was by far my favorite. The canals were amazing. All the touristy things that adults might sometimes want to avoid were perfect for me and my sister. We LOVED taking a gondola ride. We also took a tour of a blown-glass factory which was a unique experience. I’d highly recommend Piazza San Marco – there are more pigeons there than I’ve ever seen in my life in one place. We spent several hours eating gelato and watching the pigeons, which stands out as one of the best afternoons in my mind at that age.
      – Pisa was so cool. Mainly just seeing the Leaning Tower, I don’t honestly remember if we did anything else there.
      – Florence I could have taken or left at that age. Having gone back as an adult and adored it, the two big draws for Florence are all of the glorious art museums and the food, neither of which held as much appeal to me in elementary school. Florence is my favorite Italian city as an adult, so the recommendation I’d make to help kids is to limit the number of museums you decide to go to. Mix in lots of pizza-eating and sitting time (I just remember being SO tired from all the walking around museums!).
      – Rome I really enjoyed parts of. The Colosseum was absolutely worth going to (especially with the context my parents gave us about historical gladiators), but the Forum I remember being distinctly unimpressed with (we had to walk how long to see these old ruins??). The Sistine Chapel was worth it despite the crowds.

      Your family will have so much fun – enjoy! It still truly is a highlight in my memory even after many years of travel on my own as an adult.

  2. I work for a desirable company in a field that gets a lot of career switchers. Also, I was recently promoted to a more senior role on our team. As a result, we’re hiring for the junior role, and everyone is considerably older with more experience than me (in related fields, not exactly the same one). I am also going to be the mentor for this person, as that is one of the new responsibilities I get as senior. Does anyone have any advice on getting past the awkwardness of this age gap, and getting past imposter syndrome? Even though logically I know that I have more experience in our specific subfield and I’ve read plenty of articles, I can’t seem to get past it.

    It was really bizarre when I realized that my team was expecting me to answer the interviewee’s questions during the interviews – when did I become this person haha

    1. I’ve been in your shoes and it tends to be a “fake it until you make it” situation. Pretty much everyone I’ve managed has been older than me, and my way of handling it was just not to mention it, honestly, and continue to act my normal professional but friendly self. I think if these people are older than you, but coming from other fields, they’ll appreciate learning from your experience in their new field and you’ll probably have a lot of opportunities to say things like “I know you’ve had a lot of experience in [other sector/field/whatever] so I’d love any recommendations you have for [this similar process/dealing with this type of client/whatever.]” I think acknowledging their significant experience on occasion, even if it’s something different, goes a long way towards feeling appreciated. I’ve never had someone try to pull a “well I’m older than you and have more experience, blah blah” and I don’t think most people will go that route unless you’re clearly coming across as an incompetent dictator, which I’m sure you won’t!

    2. I’m in the position of your mentees: transitioning to a junior position after a switching careers. Asking for my input is a very nice way to acknowledge that I have some past experience. But really, I want to be treated like the other people at my level. I’m unsure of myself and need guidance just like anyone else. I know I’m starting from zero again, and I’m not going to resent anyone just because they are younger than me.

    3. I’ve been in your shoes…I AM in your shoes. Almost everyone who reports to me is older than I am. I think you need to be confident in what you who but honest when you don’t. If you’re putting on a front too much, they will notice and you will lose credibility.

      I tend to seek their input and expertise when it’s in areas where I’m less familiar….”I know you have extensive sales experience, would X or Z work better with the sales team.”

      At the end of the day you’re still in charge but it’s surprising how much vulnerability can reinforce your leadership profile. The courage and comfort to be transparent with your less developed areas will garner you more respect and people will want to help.

      But you just need to balance that with authority. May take some trial and error.

      Be kind yourself through this, you’ll get there. Just thinking about it and caring in this way….you’ll do fine!

      1. I am in a somewhat similar position, managing a team that is mostly older than me. I think it’s imporra to be confident in your own knowledge and experience, but also be honest when you need help. Most importantly, I think if you get to know the members of your team as people, you will quickly forget about the age gap. Until you discuss pop culture, then all bets are off.

  3. If you start getting botox or fillers, when do you stop? Is there a point when it is weird that part of your face looks young and part doesn’t?

    Basically, I want to look like Mrs. Maisel’s mom when I’m older. Do you think she gets botox? She looks older – she has wrinkles – but she also looks great

    1. The actress who plays her is 52. Is that an “older” person? The best way to avoid wrinkles is staying out of the sun as much as possible, IMO

      1. That’s what I was thinking. She looks great because she’s only 52!

        But if you’re bothered by your wrinkles, do you. I was stunned when I learned that a friend in law school was regularly getting botox for her forehead, but it really did make a difference for her. She’s one of those people whose forehead naturally forms those horizontal incredulity lines, so she felt like it was necessary. (I don’t have those lines, but hello highway map of fine eye lines.) We all have our thing. Do what makes you comfortable.

      2. Staying out of the sun is good for fine lines, discoloration, all kinds of things. But it’s not going to prevent movement based furrowing like 11s, marionette lines, etc.

    2. I got Botox in my 40s because I didn’t like the deep “11” furrow between my brows (one side was deeper than the other), and I loved the peaceful feeling of not being able to frown. I also think it helped with my headaches but it wasn’t specifically meant for them.

      I stopped in my early 50s (I’m 53 now, I think it has been about 2 years since I did it) mainly because I didn’t like the last round and haven’t wanted to try again. But I’m fine. I don’t think I’m going to start again. To the extent my 11s are coming back, they’re softer and look more natural on my decade-older face.

      I still miss the peaceful feeling of not frowning though.

    3. I remember reading that for “Mad Men” the casting people had a hard time finding more natural-looking actresses – for example, Megan makes a point of saying she has wonky teeth. I am sure that the actress was chosen in part because she looks great (yeah!) but also does look more natural than, say, many Real Housewives.
      Not sure if that helps. She might have a good plastic surgeon, who knows

      1. That’s fascinating! I often look at actresses in historical dramas and think that they look “off” — their faces look too modern, somehow, for the time they are supposedly living in. I’ve wondered why that is. Thinking that maybe their countenances are too knowing or too open. But it hadn’t occurred to me that the abundance of skin care and teeth care and hair care and body care and procedures may mean that they simply don’t look natural.

        1. I mean, I wouldn’t say they always look less “natural”, necessarily, because they get adequate nutrition and health care, but rather the norm of what is normal has changed.

  4. Two completely unrelated questions today:

    1. Does anyone have the Lo and Sons Edgemont? I’m on the waitlist for it (although it is on sale right now for 20% off in navy and navy blue camo!) but would be interested in hearing form anyone who has it. I work at a business casual nonprofit office (legal aid) and I carry a backpack every few days- usually when I know I’m going to be carrying files or documents that will make my other bag (I have a Brookline and a few other tote/crossbody styles) uncomfortable, or when I’m going to be walking a lot. My specific questions are- is it comfortable as a backpack and a tote? Would it be able to fit a redwell that’s not totally full, yoga leggings and a tank, an iPad or laptop, and a charger, plus a small pouch of essentials? And, last, does it look professional/not totally utilitarian? I like the slightly shinier (?) nylon of the TT and the Brookline, and the photos of this make it look like it’s canvas. Would also be open to any suggestions that aren’t above $150 and are also convertible.

    2. I’m going to Brussels this summer to visit a friend who’s over there for a masters degree program. I’ve never had a real interest in Brussels, but she’s there now and I want to see her. However, I’ve also never traveled abroad. I’ll be traveling solo (it will also be my first trip solo that’s not for just a few days continentally). I’m not quite sure how long I’ll have, but I’m thinking I’ll spend about 5 days with her, and then maybe go somewhere else for a few days (or two other places for a few days each). Where would you go that’s a train ride from Brussels (don’t really care too much how long the train ride is, just that I don’t have to fly) that’s good to travel solo as a young woman? I have fairly limited French comprehension, although I’m working on it. Also, anything I should make sure to do in or around Brussels? I literally know nothing about the city beyond what she’s told me.

    Thanks!

    1. Quick note on 1- for other recommendations, I’d really like something with padded straps.

    2. Paris and Amsterdam are very easy train trips from Brussels (I actually did Paris as a day trip a number of times from there), and if you’d like to do something a little more low key, Bruges is about an hour and really charming and fun. My favorite Brussels activities are mostly food centric, and I will copy out of the standard email I send to friends who are visiting:

      – Lunch at Mer du Nord
      – Brewery tour at Cantillon
      – Chocolate – EVERYWHERE, but it’s fun to go to Place du Grand Sablon and try pralines from Wittamer and Pierre Marcolini to compare. There’s a great antique market in the same place on weekends.
      – Go to a square with a friterie in the middle, get some, sit in an outdoor bar on the same square and enjoy with a beer. I love Maison Antoine/Place Jourdan but it’s hard to go wrong.
      – Be sure to try liege waffles and speculoos!
      – Victor Horta Museum – lots of cool art nouveau

      1. Brussels is really fun! Second Pierre Marcolini. The history museum on the Grand Place was interesting, as was the one in a old royal palace – sorry I can’t remeber what is was called. The Bois de la Cambre and Abbaye de la Cambre area is cute for walking around. Atomium is wacky but kind of cool. Ixelles is cute in a hipster kind of way and has a market IIRC.
        I would go to Paris, Amsterdam or London from Brussels (all a short train ride away). Agree that Bruges is also lovely and more low-key trip (totally doable as a day trip). Not speaking French shouldn’t be a big issue is toursity areas – just try to say bonjour and merci. Also, speak English a bit more slowly than usual and keep sentence structure pretty basic – this makes communications with non-anglophones much easier.

          1. I wasn’t going to comment because I haven’t been to Brussels despite living in Europe for four years because no one ever wanted to go. My husband also said it was a grey, bureaucratic town. I would jump to go to any European city to visit a friend but would do a side trip to Paris or London and a day trip to Bruges, which is very charming.

          2. Ha! I guess reasonable people can disagree. I know it doesn’t have a great reputation, but my friend did a Masters there and I went to visit several times. I found the vibe laid-back and surprisingly fun, not to mention the yummy chocolate. Maybe I was lucky! Also, my mom lived there as a teen in the 1970s and she has such fond memories of the place so I’ve always had a soft spot for Brussels. It’s not Paris or London, that’s for sure.

        1. F*cking Bruges.

          Watch the movie and then go – it is a lovely place to spend a day.

      2. Plus one for Amsterdam. I traveled there alone and stayed at a hostel alone for a couple of days prior to a study abroad trip. I loved it!

    3. If you’ve never traveled abroad and never traveled solo, I would recommend visiting your friend for a few days (4), then maybe travel with your friend and visit a nearby city for a couple days (2-3), then take a small group tour for a few days (3-5 days) to see another location. Fly out of the other city instead of backtracking to Brussels.

      G Adventures has some good small group tours.

    4. For (2), I’d spend a day in Brugges while you’re visiting your friend if you can. After your visit, from Brussels, you can easily take the train to London, Paris, or Amsterdam. (You can take the train to other cities too, of course, but if you’ve never been abroad, I’d probably choose one of those cities.)

      When I was young, I traveled alone quite a bit (with a backpack, staying in hostels). I love Paris. I’ve been a few times, and I’m hoping to go back there next year. But London is awesome too, and I’ll admit that it’s easier to relax and it feels less lonely when you can read signs and converse easily in your native language when you’re traveling alone. Since it’s your first time traveling abroad, if you have any interest in London, I’d recommend going there. Or, if you have time for 2 cities, both!

    5. Regarding Brussels, it is in the flemish side of the country and with EU workers there you will find more people speaking english than french. Do not worry about that. My french was rubish when I lived there and I have no problem at all.
      One hour train from there you have Bruges, Antwerp and Ghent also could be done in a day trip returning to Brussels or staying one night out all of them, just in case that make you more confortable making plans in that way.
      But if it is your first time in Europe I will take the Eurostar and go to London (3,5h), plenty of people speaking english there and one of the most amazing cities in the world.
      Regarding Brussels thing to do there apart of the tipical ones, go to Ste Catherine to eat in the square fish (La mer du nord!) as the locals and the same a friday in the EU neighborhood (is where the bus from the aiport stops), everyone in the street enjoying a good beer. Enjoy the beer, the frites and the chocolate. So jealous, really good memories of my time there.
      ps they sell in the tourist office a map (1€) with all the art noveau buildings.

  5. Any recommendations for face and eye moisturizers? I’d like to step up my skincare game (not hard—I currently using whatever I’m using on my hands on my face as needed). I’m in my early 30s.

    Budget is flexible, but I’d rather not go super high end unless it’s going to magically make my skin look amazing.

    1. I’ve had really good luck with Olay eye creams, actually (I have really bad undereye wrinkles despite being <25).

    2. The Kiehls avocado eye cream is an old schoolish holy grail item for a lot of people. It’s really rich and moisturizing, and a tub has lasted me a LONG time.

    3. I like hyaluronic moisturizers. Right now I’m using PETER THOMAS ROTH Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Cream that I ordered from Sephora.

      I’m also in my early 30s and just started using tretinoin. I had the normal peeling and dryness for the first ~2 months but my skin looks SO GOOD now.

    4. Neutrogena has worked so well for me, ever since I started getting those first zits in junior high. I use All the Anti-Aging now, but check out their website and see if anything appeals to you.

    5. Kiehl’s and REN are my favorites. If there is a Kiehl’s near you or at your airport, they can advise on which to try.

    6. If you’re looking for more natural ingredients (free of synthetic chemicals, parabens, propylene glycol, SLS, etc), I highly recommend checking out Eminence. I haven’t tried a bad product from you yet.

    7. I would focus on keeping skin moisturized and protected from UV. I would recommend trying some of La Roche Posay moisturizers (choose based on your skin type) or Physiogel (moisturizing cream or lotion), which has really great formula. And then follow with an SPF – I like Daylong/Galderma, as it does not leave greasy feeling and protects my super-sensitive skin (choose the Sensitive Gel).

  6. Spending 10 days in Italy in March (a week in Rome, 3 days in Florence) with my boyfriend – mid-20s. We are interested in history, art, and food (ideally some vegan/vegetarian options). Any recommendations for must-sees? Our AirBNB and flight are already booked.

    1. A week in time is long in Rome, you might think about diverting 1-2 days to Urbino, which was one of the major centers for art in the Renaissance, but is a relatively small village now.

      1. Personal preferences vary! I spent a week in Rome a year ago and felt like there was so much I wanted to see/do and did not have time.

        Recommendations: If you are interested in the Vatican Museum, try the breakfast. Sign up directly with the Vatican’s website rather than a third party (which will charge a lot more for the same thing). Once they open the museum for early admittees (at 8:00 a.m.), go straight to the Sistine Chapel to beat the crowds. Then the must sees, then head to the lesser known areas because it will be so crowded you cannot take two steps. Lunch at Bondi Pizza (tons of vegetarian and vegan options) which is within walking distance. I also really liked the Borghese Gallery, which is much smaller but really nice and in a beautiful park. Note that you must purchase your tickets in advance.

        For food, Armado al Pantheon was amazing (reservations a must), Rocioli was good, although I think overhyped (reservations also a must). Rocioli’s bakery was amazing. We found vegetarian options everywhere, but not sure about vegan (cheese is pretty ubiquitous).

        If the weather is nice, Appian Way is a LOT of fun (we rented bikes) and Ostia Antica was enjoyable (and much closer/less expensive the Pompeii). if money is no object, I highly recommend Tess at Clam Tours for a private tour of anything you want to see.

        Oh – and if you like cats go to the cat sanctuary! And leave yourself time to just wander around and get lost.

        1. We did the Appian way on horseback (look up ride Ancient Rome) – super fun with a delicious lunch at the farm afterwards. I also liked Ostia Antica. I feel like there is plenty to do in Rome for a week, but it really depends on how you do vacations – you could do a short trip to Naples/Pompei if you’re up to it.

        2. + 1 for Villa Borghese, it was a hignlight of our trip to Rome, the art is amazing and because you only can enter by reservation in small groups, you have more room to appreciate it.
          For food – at least one day go in a local supermarket, buy all the bread and prosciutto and olives you like, some wine, and have a picnic lunch somehwhere outside in the parks!
          I also loved wondering around Trasteverre, we went back multiple times discovering new places for gelatto and coffee and food and took some of our favourite pictures getting lost in the little streets there.
          For a very different experience from the Vatican, visit the second largest church – Saint Pauls Outside the Walls.
          We stayed for 5 days and it was not enough… And we didn’t even go out of the city.

    2. I love Rome, but I agree a week is long there. You need 4-5 days to see the city well, then you should do a day trip or two in the region. There are some nearby wineries that offer tastings combined with pasta-making classes, I really wanted to do that but couldn’t convince my DH who hates both wine and cooking.

    3. If you really love ancient art, go out to Ostia Antica. Romans weren’t permitted to be buried within the city walls, however in order to live on in the afterlife, you have to be buried somewhere that gets some traffic! So they built their tombs all along the road to Ostia, which was the Roman port for goods and all that jazz. It shouldn’t be as busy as Rome, but just as interesting. You are also only an hour train away from Naples and thus Pompeii and the Mediterranean too. :)

      If you have any extra time in between Rome and Florence I would highly recommend Siena. But, it doesn’t look like you will.

    4. I would second the recommendation for Ostia Antica – just amazing! I also went biking on the Apian Way and it was one of my favourite things there. You can hire bikes and take a picnic, it’s really lovely. I also did a day trip out to the Villa D’Este at Tivoli, near Rome, which was also delightful. Then the usual things in the middle of Rome – but I found the day trips I mentioned above much more memorable.

    5. In Florence you definitely want to see both David and the Uffizi gallery, ideally on different days, as well as climbing the Duomo. Be sure to reserve tickets for the first two ahead of time so that you don’t waste time in line. You might check Rick Steves’ travel books; I’ve found his recommendations very helpful.

  7. I’ve got a few furloughed federal employee friends I’d like to send a small “sorry you’re still furloughed and this situation sucks” present to. Ideas?

    1. Im a furloughed fed and have no thoughts, but just wanted to say you’re a good friend.

    2. Jose Andres is giving free sandwiches to furloughed feds at Jaleo. You can get gift cards to his restaurants through the Thinkfoodgroup (not going to put a link, but should be easy to find). They can get a free sandwich and then get sangria with the gift card!

      If your friends are in a very tight financial spot, I might go with a gift card to some place practical like Target or Trader Joe or a grocery store. If being furloughed is more an annoyance than a hardship, maybe a gift card to a restaurant like I mentioned above.

      1. They are actually not in DC. Anyone have ideas for good restaurants in Miami and Seattle? (Friends fall into the more an annoyance than a hardship category, I think, as they aren’t the sole income earners in the family)

      2. Not all federal employees live in DC. In fact, I’m guessing the majority don’t.

        1. You’re correct… I think like 200k of the 800k work in DC? Not sure on the exact stat, though.

    3. I am a furloughed fed, and would have no desire for a small trinket. If they’re in the same metro area, I’d offer to take them out to lunch or dinner. If they’re not in the same area, I would suggest a gift card to a restaurant or grocery store. If they are into knitting or another similar craft, supplies may also come in handy. If you have reasons to believe that they live paycheck to paycheck, gift cards for necessities like groceries seems the way to go.

  8. I’m adult professional in the middle of a career change and am currently enrolled in an academic program where my colleagues are 10-15 my junior. I’ve been nominated for a competitive fellowship and will be attending an information session where business casual is encouraged. I’m hoping to dress perfectly appropriately for both the event and for my age–which is 36. I can’t find any photos of this event from past years. What would you wear? Fellowship committee members include academics of the hemp dress variety and white collar professionals who seem to stick to business formal.

    1. A business-y dress in a fun color, like a dark jade (AT has had some lately) or eggplant?

    2. I’d wear some of my more “fun” professional clothing leftover from my previous career: color, statement jewelry, trendy shoes, etc.

  9. Watches. I’m looking to buy a Swiss made watch, around $1,800 max budget. I like wearing gold jewelry, but do you think it’s unwise to buy a nice gold-plated watch, since it the gold can potentially wear off? Would I be better investing in a stainless steel watch, or a two-tone? Favorite brands? I know Cartier is a favorite here–it could potentially come in within my budget if it’s pre-owned. TIA!

    1. I like Tissot and Longines at that price, and some people like Baume & Mercier. Baume is actually their newest line of watches, at a lower price and made ethically with conscious consumers in mind (the NYT had an article over the holidays about this)

      If you’re looking at preowned watches, Govberg in Philadelphia is the absolute best – their preowned selection changes frequently and their team is full of capable and honest people. Check out https://www.govbergwatches.com/product-category/preowned-watches/?filter_gender=ladies

    2. I wouldn’t buy gold plated for the reason you say. Imagine how awful you’d feel about an expensive watch with the gold plate wearing off.

      Can you get two toned where the stainless is the majority color but the gold links are real gold?

      1. Good point. I could, but unsure if it’s still considered tacky/1980s? Two-tone would certainly go with everything.

        1. Almost all of the rolexes I see are two toned. I don’t think it’s tacky or “of” a particular era.

    3. I echo (see what I did there?) what Anon 3:24 said, but also keep in mind that you can get several bands for 1 watch. I personally do think two-tone watches are a dated look, but they’re certainly still very popular. With your budget, I’d definitely consider something pre-owned. Try Crown and Caliber, I purchased a Breitling from them and was very impressed with their customer service.

      1. Sorry, I forgot you asked for brand recommendations. Do you know what size or shape you’re looking for? I’d definitely look for an automatic (no battery) over quartz. I tend to eschew “women’s” watches; the vast majority seem to be covered in diamonds or crystals, not my thing personally. I wear a “men’s” watch. The only people who notice are people who are otherwise into watches.

        I’d start with Breitling, Longines, and TAG Heuer as the established mid-range Swiss watch brands. Also take a look at Frederique Constant and Baume & Mercier, they’re newer watchmakers, but they make some really nice pieces.

        1. Thank you! I particularly like the look of the Frederique Constant slimline–the larger cases are nice, and round preferred. I hadn’t considered men’s watches, that’s great. I suppose they are fairly unisex. Poked around on Crown and Caliber, they look wonderful.

          1. If you don’t mind a larger case, you’ll have so many more options if you also look at men’s. I used to wear a 33 mm that was branded as a women’s watch but sans crystal and now wear a 40 mm, which is branded as men’s (note that case measurements aren’t necessarily consistent across brands). I was worried it would be too big and it would look like I was wearing a Flavor Flav style clock on my wrist, but it’s really not. The Frederique Constant slimline is a nice collection, I also like the “heart beat” where you can see the inner workings.

          2. +1 for Flavor Flav

            I don’t know anything about watches

            But I do know what time it is

  10. What would be the most comforting cookies if you had to travel for terrible, stressful, reasons? Just found out about a friend’s upcoming ordeal, and I’d like to bake something she can eat while she drives.

    1. If it’s a long drive, maybe something with nuts, oats, and dried fruit that’s a bit more substantial? It can be hard to find good food on the road and even harder if you’re going through something awful.

    2. Organize Yourself Skinny dot com has a recipe for Double Chocolate Pumpkin Brownies. (I skip the pumpkin spice.) They’re rich and will make her feel full. You’re a very thoughtful friend!

  11. Appreciate a couple clothing recs…. I’m pear shaped (petite XS on top, 4-8 on the bottom) short-waisted.

    1). Casual vegan leather jacket. Black. That I don’t have to worry about if I wear it accidentally in the rain. Or that my shoulder bags will cause uneven wear. Mostly for weekend/evening wear.

    2). I have a gift card to banana republic. Casual recs?

    1. Blank NYC jackets available at Nordstrom and others. Highly rated. I have a charcoal drape jacket of theirs purchased from Anthro. Both the “suede” and “leather” on the jacket are high quality and not plasticy/fake looking. I’m a regular pear and the jacket provides enough shoulder width/structure to even me out. Their jacket run cropped, so the length may work for you.

    2. I have a Zara LJ that’s faux leather and it feels mich more expensive than it was! Some of their options are fug but they also have more subdued/less OTT ones. Mine has quilted arms and minimal other decoration. Love it.

  12. Boss wants me to develop a “short and sweet” employee engagement survey to get at the root of the dissatisfaction and infighting in our division. I have read some sample surveys online but I feel like the survey should be four open-ended questions to allow employees to explain the problem. Something like, “What do you like about working here,” “What don’t you like about working here,” etc. Am I oversimplifying?

    1. More important than the questions is the feeling that the survey is truly anonymous and can’t be traced back to the person answering it. If the employee feels in any way like they will be identified, they won’t answer honestly.

      1. mix of multiple choice and long answer questions. Some people will be concerned that they will be identifiable based on their text/writing style.

        1. Yeah, I would only want to respond to multiple choice. But you could get really creative with your choices, that fit the situation.

    2. Your thinking is correct. A few years back, I left a toxic team and joined a completely different department in the same company. A few months after I left, a very senior lady from that department contacted me and she said that the old department wants to improve. They have lot of women leaving and want to understand what was going wrong so that they can fix it. I agreed to the meeting.
      In the meeting, she had a printed paper with questions where we can choose between 1 and 10, 1 being best and 10 being worst etc. She started asking those question. I stopped her half way and told her that those questions are really not capturing the problem and I wanted to explain in my own words what my issues were. She agreed to it. I was very open about the issues, the things that were said to justify the toxicity, how there was a gangs in the organization and how they would target a person till they leave or get fired. I gave sold examples of these situations.
      After hearing that she said that the questionnaire was laughable. She could never imagine the level of toxicity I described. There was no way it could reflect remotely the situation in the department. So, if you are serious about fixing the issue, ask open ended questions and make them feel safe about being open (i.e no retaliatory action)

      1. The major difference here is you were out of the situation. You also were committed to giving feedback (a lot of folks don’t even start a survey). If you stay under 10 questions with a basic a, b, c and an open-ended “other” as well as a couple (I’d advise no more than two) open ended, you’ll get far more participation. Get into “what I feel would make the work environment more supportive” with one of those open ended and don’t cut off word count. That format will also give you more usable data for your leadership team to prioritize and brainstorm solutions after the fact (30 percent say they do not have the technology needed to do their job effectively” “20 Percent disagree or strongly disagree that workload is evenly distributed across roles, etc.

    3. Before you do the survey, I would come up with a few hypotheses, potentially by having some conversations with colleagues who would feel comfortable sharing with you. While the survey should not only target these hypotheses, it would be helpful to get more information.

      I would also include demographic data (how long but the company, which subdivision, etc), unless there is a risk of making the survey not anonymous. The open-ended text boxes could play against anonymity as people might feel they could be outed from them.

      It would also be advisable to not have questions diagnosing the issue, but also questions that seek the employees own recommendations on solutions.

    4. I do a lot of surveys at work. You’ll get the best responses when you can avoid open text: use multiple choice, Likert scales, etc. when you do your survey design. Open text requires more of people from an intellectual load perspective and drives up higher survey abandonment. Avoiding it will also enable you to establish data points for benchmarking that can help you show improvement if you do a similar survey down the line. For the multiple choice, you’d need to come up with a few obvious answers (e.g., my favorite thing about working here is fair compensation, interesting work, good benefits, and then have an open text field for other). I also agree with the idea of capturing some demographics so you can segment based on that (e.g., perhaps women are more dissatisfied than men). Best practices: keep it short, incentivize taking it if possible, offer open text as option only, maximize use of multiple choice.

  13. PSA – I picked up some Commando tights and Wolford hose online at Nordstrom Rack. They both worked so well for me I went back to order more. Looks like Commando tights are sold out but they still have Wolford in select colors. Only $20! I didn’t even know they’d ever carry stuff like that so it’s on my radar now for sure.

  14. Any favorites I should buy at the Banana Republic Factory? I bought the Groupon a few weeks ago and it expires surprisingly soon.

    1. The pleated waist sheath- I have the teal, have washed it many times, and it has held up great! Debating the printed version now.

  15. Anyone want to help me shop?
    I’ve just been given an amazing opportunity to try to help sell a business. I’m not in business. I’m a nerdy subject matter expert. I would like to pick up a few pieces to step up my presentation wardrobe from nerd presenting scienc-y stuff at conferences to ready-to-meet with venture capitalists.
    I’ve got a solid business casual to professional wardrobe but I think its just meh for a project of this stature. I’ve got a navy and a black pant suit – Ann Taylor and Banana Republic (my whole wardrobe is AT, BR and JCrew). I’m too curvy for theory… I was thinking maybe an MMLeFleur dress and blazer?
    Help me class up my life!

    1. Hi! I present often for my job. Over the holidays I posted some examples of dresses with sleeves that would be good options for presenting. I’m not sure how many of these are still available but at the very least they might serve as examples. Here is the post with the list I mentioned (the first comment): https://corporette.com/button-cuff-ponte-shift-dress/#comments.

      In general I like a dress and a blazer for speaking so I think you’re on the right track!

      1. Wow thank you! Not the OP, but I just checked out this amazing list and bookmarked it- thank you!

  16. Be safe my Ottawa-rettes! It was a close one for me and I’m a bit frazzled but safe. Drinking in the comfort of my home trying not to cry.

    1. Oh no :-(. Sorry to hear you were involved. I walk everywhere (even on days like today…), so wasn’t directly affected but shocked by the incident (how does that happen??). Thinking about you and sending some Ottawa neighbour solidarity.

  17. Hi, need gloves for an alpine cabin trip. I don’t ski but will be tromping around outside a lot. Temp goes down to 0.

  18. Hi! I’m looking for recommendations for dresses and tops (brands/styles welcome as well) for flat-chested folks. I just had top surgery (i.e. a double mastectomy) and am having trouble finding dresses and button-downs without bust-area darting or built-in chest space. To complicate things further, I have a prominent chest tattoo so v-neck/wrap styles are a no-go. Any suggestions for tubey, masculine-cut styles or brands?

    1. I’m definitely familiar with the experience of not filling out the “curves” of a dress or top. What kind of styles are you looking for? And what size are you? I’ve noticed that banana republic has a lot of men’s styles now in very small sizes, if you’re looking for button-downs, and in my experience their women’s clothing (at least in the smaller sizes) generally works pretty well with a flat chest. But I think kind of blousier tops and sweaters are in now, which aren’t meant to be fitted, and often don’t have shaped seams, so may be easier? So, sweaters, knit materials that are less likely to have shaped seaming, and maybe look into a tailor if you can’t find things that fit how you’d like them to.

      1. Thank you for the suggestions! I would love to find a sheath dress — you’re right that a knit material is probably my best bet, and I’m also a fan of more structured fabrics. I typically wear a size XS (0-2), so BR’s men’s XS slim fit button-downs have been a lifesaver. I’ve also had good luck with some of BR’s shift dresses, though I find the shoulders to be a tad too narrow for my frame in my size.

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