Weekend Open Thread
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
For ten years, we have run up debt, then we pay it off with a bonus or tax refund. I just took a paycut and with inflation the way it is, I took the Corporette advice to try Mint.com. Wonderful, ladies! I love that I can put in the joint account, plus my husband’s spending accounts and the credit card. Wow. Thanks.
In my opinion, it’s not worth trying to see what you can “get away with” as a summer. People probably won’t notice, but it’s just not worth the risk. You’re probably making a good salary as a summer associate at your firm. Just go buy a couple suits.
What are the dress code guidelines for casual summer associate events (e.g. bowling)? I don’t want to just show up in jeans and a tee shirt, but it seems like if I’m too dressed up it will seem out of a place at a bowling alley.
I’d be interested in the answer to this as well.
Depends on your firm but you should err on the side of making whatever you wear to work work for the event unless otherwise specified. For example, my firm is business casual so for a bowling event just make sure you can comfortably move without exposing anything – a shirt that doesn’t ride up when you bend over, a fuller, longer skirt or pants. In my experience, there are summers who change and it isn’t a big deal but most of the attorneys will go as is so it may (but not necessarily) read as young to change. All of that being said, there are definitely events/firms that encourage attendees to dress down and in that case, by all means change. Although I think a good casual look can be more difficult than adapting a business casual outfit to the activity. We have even had boating events where I think regular business casual works.
You can always ask someone in your recruiting office or one of your assigned mentors. These are common questions and chances are the other summers will be curious as well.
Enjoy your summer!
oh, and I will add that you will probably be out of place for the bowling ally when you aren’t in jeans – but so will the rest of your group. Better to dress for the members of your group than bystanders.
At my firm the attorneys and the summers change for the casual events (baseball game, bowling etc.) They don’t change for happy hour or a play or something like that.
I see a lot of “preppy casual.” Think, what you would wear on a yacht or a golf course. Bermuda shorts and polo shirt. Khaki capris with twin set.
It also depends on your full audience. Will clients also be there? I highly suggest asking what others are wearing for each event and adapt accordingly.
Agree with Ladybug — for events right after work that aren’t expressly “casual casual” just wear what you wore to work (I’m thinking cocktail parties, drinks, even like a boat outing or something…though for that I’d bring flats!)
For more “casual” events like sporting events, games, or field days or something, I’d go “nice casual” or preppy casual, even if its not your usual look. Flats thta aren’t sneakers — like keens or something — with maybe nice jeans, khakis, or some kind of colored khaki and a nice shirt, like a polo or that level.
I know one big firm in my building even had t-shirts for events that summers wore. If there is a t-shirt for an event, I think jeans are fine. :-P
At my firm, there was a summer bowling event. Dress code was “street clothes.” I wore my street clothes – jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. Everyone else wore khakis and a polo shirt. Was I the dingbat who didn’t dress appropriately, or was everyone else the chump who wore khakis and a polo shirt to a bowling alley? The world will never know.
Hello Corporettes. I need help with a specific gift. The sushi place in our area (Texas) has this darling ceramic/wood toothpick dispenser on the way out the door. It is much more detailed than the little plastic ones sold online. It is a box…you pull the knob, and the doors open up to the toothpick area and the little carved (cartoon like) duck picks up a toothpick for you. It is similar to this one:
http://www.rm-collectibles.com/images/RMC40020.JPG
When I have asked, all they say is “It is from Japan.”
This is a highly desired gift for a family member. I’ve searched all over on line, even googling asian/japanese restaurant supply gets me no where. People only seem to offer the plastic woodpecker thing.
Any thoughts, recommendations, sightings? Would love to work with another Corporette to make this a great 50th bday for my DH. Besides that, it fits in well with our MidCentury Modern home and the Asian vibe we’ve finally completed renovating ourselves (all 5.5 years of it)…hand by hand, scrape by scrape, refinish by refinsh…you get it. It would be a great simultanous bday and “house is done” gift.
TIA…arigato?
I would post this on Etsy Alchemy – I would think that someone could make something similar to what you’re describing for a reasonable price.
Sadly, Etsy Alchemy doesn’t exist anymore. There’s a similar feature that sellers can opt into, but you have to make the request to each individual seller.
I could not copy the link but found something similar at blujay.com. I am not familiar with that site so not endorsing it in any way.
Ooh, is it this? This is cute.
http://www.blujay.com/item/Toothpick-Dispenser-Mechanical-27060000-1988932&keywords=toothpick%20dispenser
It is very cute, and the one I’ve been needing is a duck not a woodpecker. So adorable. So hard to find. Thanks for the help so far! Any other thoughts or locations of Japanese supply sources welcome! Thanks again, corporettes!
Congrats on finishing your house! It sounds exactly how I want my dream house to look. I’ll see if I can find anything like what you are looking for
So that’s a 爪楊枝鳥 (tsumayouji tori), or toothpick bird. I found a few descriptions on Japanese-language blogs; most of the people picked them up in small souvenir shops in out-of-the-way places in Japan, like Gifu or Hokkaido. I didn’t see any for sale online, but if you do a Google Image search, you’ll see a few more examples of what you are looking for if you have one made.
I did see this wooden Alessi holder- not a bird, unfortunately:
http://www.allmodern.com/asp/show_detail.asp?sku=AAS1173&refid=FR81-AAS1173
That’s fabulous, Scully! I have found few images so far…just wish I knew someone in Japan now. As ever, Corporettes help each other. Best …
Oh, Scully – we found MCM house inspiration out of the materials from “Atomic Home” … particularly their magazine. They also have good ads in the back for products etc. One Corporette helps another with ideas!
OP here. I couldn’t find anything googling the japanese words…so I took a chance and tried “Japanese Toothpick Bird” again (for the nth time). This company came up and has one. Hopefully the intl payment and shipping will work out. They appear to be hand-made marquetry; even better as we do all our own woodworking for the house renovation etc! If anyone else was entranced, it is under “other” at hakone maruyama(d0t)co(dot)jp I added blank space to avoid moderation. Will let you all know. They appear to be based in Kanagawa, Japan. Thanks!
I noticed there’s a lot of female lawyers on this forum (yeah!). I am currently a paralegal and would like to pursue a different legal field. My current field is suffering. So, my question is:
What are the booming areas of law right now?
I know Bankruptcy is a big one, but I used to work in bankruptcy and really did not like it. Since I want to shift focus to a different field- I’d like to know how these fields are being affected by the economy. Thank you!
Foreclosures, especially if you live in a state with non-judicial foreclosure! Your knowledge of bankruptcy would be an asset in a foreclosure practice since some do involve bankruptcy/stay relief issue. The only draw back might be that you would still have to deal with bankruptcy work since many of the firms that have foreclosure practices (think “Creditors’ Rights” firms) also do at least a bit of bankruptcy work, but that work is MUCH different on the creditors side than it is on the debtor’s side (I’m assuming your previous experience was debtor’s side work).
Criminal defense always booms, everywhere. That and family law (i.e., divorces).
Labor & employment law
Elder law. There will be more old people and they are living longer and longer.
Tax Litigation. definitely.
Thinking of planning a 5-day trip to LA and San Diego, sometime between the second week of June through the third week in July. I’m wondering what the temperature would be like. I’m from the Northeast, and I’ve never been to SoCal. Is it usually hotter in July than in June, or about the same temperature? Advice on the best times to book a flight and the hottest times of the summer would be appreciated.
San Diego is actually coolest in May and June: they call those months “Grey May” and “June Gloom.” If you’ll be in town and not going eastward to the valleys, it won’t be hot at all. I’d shoot for July to avoid the June Gloom (though it can vary a bit year by year). August can get a bit hot sometimes, but it’s generally just a few days of heat wave at a time, then back to 70-ish. Even in August, there are some days you would want a jacket. I have wanted/needed a jacket during the day at all times of the summer, and had random heat waves pop up sometimes in July or August.
Good to know–thanks! I’ll aim for sometime in July.
It’s getting late in the weekend, so hopefully I will still get some replies…I need to buy my boss or his wife a gift for doing something nice for me personally. My boss’ main hobbies are photography and hiking; he is a very serious hiker. He also likes boating and coffee (but I don’t know what kind of coffee, he has a special machine already). He just got an iPad, but I don’t know if he has a case for it already and it would be hard to choose one as it seems to be a matter of highly personal taste. He travels a lot, both for work and for fun. His wife, who I’ve also come to know personally, loves shopping, especially bargain hunting. Their son is going off to college in the fall, so something for him would work too. Any ideas? My last resort is a gift card to his favorite restaurant, but that seems too monetary to me.
Bottle of wine? That is always my go-to gift unless there’s a reason to think the person does not drink.
You could also go to a local coffee store (one that sells the whole beans) and ask what a couple of the most popular flavors are and get him some small bags of a few different coffees. I have done this for a few friends from out of town (my city has a really neat shop like this) and they have all discovered new coffees they wouldn’t have tried previously.
With the usual proviso that you should be careful buying presents for bosses, here are a few ideas.
Since he likes to hike and travel, if he’s mentioned somewhere he’s going soon, I’d suggest a “hikers” type guidebook to the place — especially if it discusses best hiking destinations in that place.
Another idea might be a photography book from a good outdoorsy location, like New Zealand.
I sort of like the idea of getting something small for him (like a book) but also something small for the wife and/or son to keep it from being ONLY a gift to him. For the son, I remember I sort of enjoyed when I went off to college people got me one of those funny survivial books that tells you how to survive a shark attack (not too serious, but still interesting). Also, college kids play a lot of games (ignore the alcohol involved)…my freshman year we actually played a fair number of card games, as well as trivial pursuit and cranium. Finally — if you know where he’s going, he’d probably like a gift card to a restaurant near school (or you could give it to his parents for when they bring him and his roommates out for dinner).
For the wife, you’ve given the least info about, but maybe something quirky and to her tastes from Etsy or something similar.
Anyway, its a good instinct, but it might also be good to get a gift card or a bottle of wine or something “bland” because its also likely not to cross any lines of appropriateness. :-)
You might look into hiking places like REI or Whole Earth Provisions to find a little gadget or useful items. They’d know. Or you could do a gift card. I second the idea of a photography book – esp. one of a naturalist photog or their dream locale if he’s talked about it. I keep thinking of A. Adams, but they probably have that one! There are also those great Moleskin journals for note taking…love those – skinny, pack well, great paper.
Thanks all for the replies!
I’m also hoping to get some replies, despite the fact that we are already largely through the weekend…
I am a junior lawyer (1 year work experience) looking to move in the public service and am applying for government grad programs. The application form for the department I am very eager to get into to, asks the following question (amongst others): “Describe a time when you’ve had to use your personal drive and integrity in order to deal with a sensitive matter.” I have been thinking about it for weeks and have no idea what example to draw on. I can think of many examples when I have demonstrated personal integrity and drive, but not in dealing with a sensitive matter.
Any suggestions of examples of things that would count as ‘sensitive matters’?
Many thanks in advance for any help.
I think there are many options here, but your answer should consider the specific duties you’d have in that department. For instance, if you were applying to work as a public defender, would you still work your hardest to provide good representation for an individual who you thought was guilty of a crime you found objectionable? We’ve had employment attorneys who were asked to try to mediate disputes involving other employees with whom they work closely on a daily basis.
I represent my agency in benefits disputes against clients who are generally in very vulnerable situations. In some cases people are just trying to milk the system, but the agency has to be deferential to the client. There are other cases where I believe the client deserves more benefits, but I still have to do my best to represent the agency as the job entails.
Are you following the trial of those two NYPD cops?
Thanks for your suggestions, Anon! Much appreciated.
Vent!
I bought a new car yesterday. I am a professional and 30-years old. Yesterday’s car purchase was my third in less than give years, and the car I bought was significantly less expensive than my other two. I sold my last car to a private party for more than Bluebook value. I decided to purchase yesterday’s car after extensive research regarding similar cars, the used and new inventory in that model in the Dallas area, and pricing. Prior to walking into the dealership, I solicited offers from several dealers in the area, shopped for car loans from multiple lenders, and obtained a quote for insurance.
After I finished working with the finance woman and signed my paperwork, she said I should meet the manager. She introduced me and my boyfriend (who was only there to keep me company! Not help my little lady brain work out the details of a car purchase!) to David, the New Car Sales Director. David thanked me for purchasing my car from that dealership. We then turned to return to the salesman’s desk to pick up my keys and car manual. As we started to walk away, David said to my boyfriend, “Great job coaching.”
What?! David approached us a few moments later to see if his comment “sounded bad.” My boyfriend told him that his comment was offensive, extremely sexist, that we are both professionals, and that he owed both of us an apology. David insisted he didn’t mean it “that way” (what other way could have have meant it???). Instead, he explained, he makes the coaching remark to parents who bring their CHILDREN in to buy their first cars.
I am SO ANGRY about this. David took a single characteristic about me– my gender– and used it to suggest that I’m incompetent to purchase a car without a male’s guiding hand. He then refused to recognize the sexist nature of his remark and added insult to injury by comparing me to a CHILD. I wish I’d had the presence of mind not to go through with the deal (not sure I could have backed out–contracts were all signed up). Anyway, I found out that the dealership is owned by a national automotive group. I’m writing to their board of directors (will CC the dealership’s GM and David) to complain about David’s sexist remarks.
Thanks for listening, corporettes. This was the most sexist experience I can remember ever having.
I remember reading about a study on car dealers years ago. The researchers sent four different people with identical resumes, and financial records, with a script on how to behave to different dealerships. The dealerships made the best offers to white men, then black men, then white women, then black women. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you.
Yes, this is so TRUE. I had Alan with me when I went to rent my apartment in New York, and the landlord would ONLY talk to him, even though it was only going to be MY name only on the lease!?! I was so mad I did not know where to LOOK. And he took MY deposet, not from Alan. Fooey on the LandLord!
When I move to another apartment, I will NOT forget this.
That sucks. Unfortunately, we ladies get better deals when we take men with us to the dealerships and the mechanics, regardless of whether they play a role or not.
You should certainly send a letter if you feel offended.
But if that’s the most sexist thing that’s ever been said to you… you should be thankful. I’m not trying to minimize your experience. I’m just so very proud of all the women that have come before us and gotten rid of comments that were so much worse.
I think he wouldn’t have come back and asked you if that was a bad thing to say if he thought it wasn’t. He knew there was something wrong about it. And I’m glad you both were honest with him.
…uh it almost sounds like David thought your bf was your dad? I actually had something like that happen a few times when I used to date older guys as I look incredibly young for my age. It was hilarious yet creepy. ABove poster is right- I have friends who tried to buy homes in the 70s only to be asked if their husbands okayed the purchase. TX is such a crazy quilt- ratified the ERA, had a woman gov long before anyone else, and yet… stuff like this. You are right to be mad but I betcha David won’t be doing that again!
PS_ That would never happen @ a subaru dealer ;)
@happyfunball – No, David didn’t think my bf was my dad… I’m 30, and my BF is 32. My bf actually looks younger than me.
I’ve had the opposite — I’ll go somewhere with my dad and be mistaken for his wife! :O It’s disturbing on several levels, not least because we obviously look alike.
@OriginalLola – I should correct my post above. Not the most sexist thing that’s -ever- been said to me, nor the most sexist experience I’ve ever had. But it’s been awhile, so it is the most sexist experience in recent memory. It was just really aggravating.
Full disclosure: my background is 20 years of automotive, both corporate and dealership including GM. Sorry got were condescended to by a complete tool with no brain.
The most effective complaint I ever heard about was the customer who owned a direct mail marketing business and bought up every address within a 50-mile radius of the dealer, along with the domains “DealerNameSucks dot com” and “GM (same), and informed the dealer that he was going to start mailing out weekly flyers describing how unhappy is was with the place.
The worst was the guy who dressed up like a clown and picketed the dealership for a week, with a sign reading “Dealer is treating me like a clown.”
Also ran: The guy who spray painted his rusty car with the words “GM Quality paint job, warranty denied!” and drove around town.
My suggestion, for what it’s worth (I know you didn’t ask for it, but here it is) is to let the dealer and dealer group know that you’re pissed off, rightly so, you mentioned it on the spot and it got worse. CC the president of GM (google it) firstname.lastname at GM dot com. Let them know that you’re a professional woman who networks and you’ll be mentioning this experience to anyone who will listen. Mention that you also post regularly on blogs and use social media and intend to share this horrible experience.
Decide what remedy you want. Then go for it.
And remember this pig won’t change no matter what you do.
Good luck.
(Next time buy a Hyundai.)
I’d also like to apologize for my un-spellchecked grammar. Back to bed for me!
Wow, that just sounds horrible. I’ve read a few articles that have suggested that women are now involved in the vast majority of all car-buying decisions. As a result, dealerships are no longer able to treat women like second-class citizens and expect that they’ll make the sale. Women also tend to negotiate differently and don’t really fall for high-pressure sales pitches. My mom often takes me with her to do the initial car search and if they pass the first phase, she’ll bring my father along.
Apparently this dealership still hasn’t gotten the memo. Hopefully you will get some good results from your letter from corporate. I am interested to know how they respond.
I think the dealership’s GM is the right place to start and if you don’t get a satisfactory response, then write to the board of directors. Give the GM a chance to deal with it first.
Also, let all your women friends know not to shop at this dealership! They don’t need our hysterical, addled little dollars.
I have been employed as a legal assistant throughout the school year and a summer associate for 2 summers and have worked at this small firm for a total of 5 years. I don’t know how to break the news that I am leaving for a new summer employment job starting June. The firm is small, and anytime someone leaves some of the attorneys tend to be offended. I am looking for ways not to burn bridges and keep in touch with a lot of the people I have worked with for so long. Any ideas?
Thanks!
There is definately a lot to learn about this topic. I really like all the points you have made.