ByKat Hours Updated
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Weekly News Update

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– Personal shoutout to my cousin Rachel, who is one of those overachieving chicks who probably doesn't wear a suit too often — she's making one of her dreams come true and currently serving as a veterinarian for an Antarctic Research Team. Go Rachel!

– Racked has started a series looking at office dress code at particular offices — this week my friend Danny‘s office was profiled; and a few weeks ago my friend Dina‘s office was featured.

– Lucky wonders, “how much is too much to pay for a winter coat?”

– An anonymous poster on Reddit talks about the mistakes women make in negotiating their salaries, and offers tips — very interesting, particularly considering he (?) says he “regularly hires women for 65% to 75% of what males make.”

– Don't shoot the messenger:  NPR says that “women underestimate fertility clock's clang.”

– Wisebread rounds up the best days to shop for what.

– Mint sings the praises of the target-date mutual fund, particularly for young investors.

Did we miss anything? Add 'em here, or send them to news@corporette.com. Thank you!

36 Comments

  1. I thought the inclusion of the negotiation piece was interesting. Megan McArdle just wrote a piece on how women don’t just fail to negotiate because they’re “bad at it” but also because negotiating can actually hurt them in the workplace. Totally worth reading.

  3. Thanks for the NPR article about fertility. A reminder that I may not want to hear as I’m enjoying my pre-baby years into my 30s…uh oh.

    1. That article stunk. I like the woman they interviewed, though, who pointed out that it’s sometimes not exactly within our control. What are we supposed to do, have babies with Mr. Wrong who we date in our 20s?

      1. Totally agree with you Nancy P! I heard that when it played on air and found it depressing and uncharacteristically unoriginal on NPR’s part. Even if it’s true that some women don’t understand that their fertility drops, it’s also untrue that “most” women who aren’t having children aren’t doing so because they think they can do it at 40. A lot of us aren’t having kids because we haven’t met the right person yet. I hate hearing these stories because they assume that childless women are dumb when they may just be unlucky in terms of timing. I don’t need to hear another piece on how I’m going to have tons of trouble having kids–I’m already well-aware!

      2. Even if you are married, you may just be putting of having children because they are so expensive. I’m tired of hearing, there is never a good time. Yes, I know that. But, if I can’t afford childcare, is it wise for me to get pregnant, or even try? I think not.

    2. Just wondering, does freezing your eggs early on help? Or do factors outside of the health of one’s eggs also play a role in (in)fertility?

      I’m asking because I’m in my early 20s, and this is a procedure that I’ve recently been thinking about getting done. In all likelihood, kids will not enter my life until at least my late 20s, more likely my early 30s, but naturally, I want the best for my future progeny, and if healthier eggs make a significant difference, well, the cost of the procedure is high, but not completely unmanageable, and it could be a worthy investment. At the very least, I could stop worrying about the declining health of my eggs!

      Also, if anyone has experience with this procedure, or knows more about it (female doctors/doctors-to-be in the community?), please, please enlighten us! Thanks in advance!

    3. Ugh. I hated listening to that story. It was like yet another relative telling me to hurry up and have a kid, because, you know, tick-tock.

      Thanks, NPR. I thought I could do without it from you.

  4. So women drastically underestimated how easy it is to get pregnant at 30 “What’s the chance a 30-year-old can get pregnant in one try? Many thought up to 80 percent, while in reality it’s less than 30 percent. ”

    According to the study, women estimated that a 20-year-old has a 80-89% chance of getting pregnant in one try, but it’s also 20-29% (as with the 30-year-old). It seems the issue is that women have no idea how ‘easy’ it is to get pregnant in the first place.

    I don’t ever remember getting the message that it would be fiiiiiiine if I waited until I was 42 to have a baby. On the contrary, it seemed I had to panic if I was 27 and childless. Of course the plural of anecdote is not data, but I think most of my friends assumed the same. Everyone who did get pregnant ‘easily’ after the age of 34 or so was shocked.

    I get that they are trying to raise awareness, but this whole message just pisses me off. I really wonder if they are seeking out women who think that just because they do yoga, the bio-clock is significantly altered.

    Plus, what am I supposed to do with this information? Panic? Find any warm body that’s not repulsive to have children with? Do it solo?

    1. I totally agree with you on this! I seem to remember learning the odds in health class in high school? I’m surprised if the misperceptions are really as widespread as the data indicates. And I also agree with the “so what am I supposed to do with this information ?” comment. Although, I guess if there are women out there who have a partner but are unsure whether now is the time to have a child, this info might be helpful to them.

    2. I agree – I don’t know anyone who thinks they can just do yoga and stay fertile into their 40s. And articles like this always seem to railroad the whole situation, as though people who wait to have kids are just out bungee-jumping in Belize rather than debating the very real costs and trade-offs of having children at any stage of life.

      For anyone who’s stressing out over these issues, this article gives a nice, reasoned perspective on fertility in your 30s:

      http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/conception/getting-pregnant-after-35-women-fertility/

    3. Perhaps part of the reason for all the misconceptions about fertility is that all through our youth (and even after) we are told how super important it is to use birthcontrol because “just one time is all it takes to get pregnant!” That message does get internalized. If you can panic for two weeks about being pregnant because a condom broke, why is it so unreasonable that you would think it may not be so hard to actually get pregnant? (And, yes, I know the statistics, and no, I am not trying to discourage proper safe sex).

      Also, when you don’t look & feel “old,” it’s easy to think you’re not going to have problems. Silly and unrealistic, perhaps, but no less easily deceiving.

      Finally, I do think that even though it’s frustrating info, it is good to have the conversation. I for one need to hear it. I’m 30, I’m in a long term relationship, I have every desire and intent to have kids with my current partner, but I really like my life right now and just don’t want to.

    4. I do have friends who are in their late 20s, married, and were shocked to learn that maybe waiting for kids until they make partner in 10 years might not be the best idea. So this kind of article can be helpful for people like them.

      I’m wondering if it might be a generation gap. I’m 26, and before I started reading this blog I thought that fertility didn’t really drop off until after 45 or so. I think many people around my age are similarly ignorant, but people 5 to 10 years old seem much better informed.

      1. That may be it — I’m 36 and it’s something that I’ve been hyperaware of this for at least 10-12 years– even though my OB told me at 34 to not really stress out about it too much. However, I think she meant it in the context of ‘since you’re not even close to ‘ready’ and still unsure, don’t let fertility that be your deciding factor’

        What she did say is that women in their 30s have been having kids for millennia, what’s unusual now is that it’s the first child in their 30s.

        No idea if having a child in your 20s means you’re more likely to conceive in your 30s — if you can’t conceive in your 30s it may have been just as difficult in your 20s, you just didn’t know it.

        I do remember an article coming out in Time magazine about 10 – 12 years ago with scary stats. I was in my mid-20s, so was aware of it. If I was less than 20, it would have been something that wouldn’t have even made it on my radar.

    5. Seriously. Also, I’m not sure the average person can accurately give you the probability of, like, a coin flip so I’m not sure what asking a bunch of people to come up with percentages off the top of their head for something more complex really measures.

  5. As a man who only hires women who adhere to my short skirt friday policy, I found it very interesting about the anonymous Reddit comment. I’ve found Reddit to be a very truthful place, where no one makes things up to get other people riled up.

  6. Just wanted to vent about a totally stupid thing – this chick de-friended me on Facebook and it’s gotten me all riled up. I don’t even know why I’m so upset about it -we ran in similar circles in college but don’t talk now, (although I don’t talk to several people I’m FB friends with) and she always seemed a little fake to me. I’m FB friends with her hubby too (who, especially after this, I feel could totally do better) and he’s still friends with me. What’s her problem? I think de-friending is a bit extreme, especially with all the other security levels you can add for people. What a b***h. Argh.

    1. Were you friends with the hubby first? she may just be jealous. I’ve this happen where I was friends with the guy first, then hung out with their gf (w/o the guy), and usually when the relationship ends they’ll unfriend me bc they’ll think the guy liked me all along anyway or something stupid.

      also, I don’t know what age you are but a few years after college when people are more settled in their career a lot of people weed out their fb friend collections, and they tend to focus more on family etc.

    2. I honestly wouldn’t worry. Are you actually friends with her husband, or just acquaintances? I’ve dropped acquaintances off FB from time to time – it doesn’t mean I harbour any negative feelings towards them, it just means that I don’t feel our FB friendship is really useful to anyone so might as well tidy up my “friends list” or whatever.

    3. Maybe she just decided to do a general revamp of her “friend” criteria and limit it to only people she regularly speaks with? I think you shouldn’t take it too personally because (1) you never talk so its unlikely you did anything specific to prompt it, and (2) you don’t know whether it’s just your or whether she’s just cleaning house.

      1. This. I recently limited my friend list to close friends, family, co-workers and boss (and that’s the norm for us – small office, like a family), and people I see or interact with on a regular basis. I had begun to find fb a bit overwhelming, and also to think that having people I don’t know well or who are even total strangers having access to my “life” was creepy. I’m 47, so that may be generational. : ) I am much happier with my minimized fb presence, and perhaps this person did something similar.

    4. haha whoa. we’ve all been riled up about weird things but this deserves an eye roll from you and nothing more. (You feel her husband can do better cuz he is married to a woman who defriends people she doesn’t talk to anymore?)

      1. This. Kaydee- why don’t you get your sense of revenge by unfriending his husband, and then move on with your life.

      1. …. wow. Thanks for all the support for my vent, guys. I’m having a bad day and get told I’m crazy? Thanks a bunch. You have a great weekend too.

        1. When you choose to express your “bad day” by calling another woman a bitch for no real reason, yes, you’re going to get some push back. I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time today, but I really don’t like when people call women bitches, especially women who have done nothing wrong other than live their own lives and mind their own business.

        2. hey you needed a reality check and got one. Corporette is your sassy friend, if we think you are overreacting we tell you. I tried to do a gentle version of telling you your crazy but yes its a huge overreaction. That is good info to have though! One time I thought a person who squished me in the elevator was on a personal vendetta to ruin my day. Its good to have someone say relax, you are overreacting. The woman is not a b*tch because she wants to make her friends list smaller by cutting people who she doesn’t talk to. If this is the sole reason you are having a bad day you really need to evaluate that. If there are other things, it explains why this is bothering you so much.

    1. haven’t seen it yet, but now I really can’t wait!! and now i will be careful about reading the open thread so I don’t see spoilers. ;o)

  9. Kat — thanks for the information on your cousin. As someone whose dream vacation is Antarctica, I loved her blog!

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