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This is a post about working through your first trimester of pregnancy, which can be particularly trying — extreme fatigue, nausea, and all while trying to keep your “situation” on the QT in case of miscarriage.
But I suppose I should make a mini-announcement regarding some personal news in Katland. First, some hints: I’m on my third bra size since December. I haven’t enjoyed a martini, or deli meats, or zippers, in a long, long time. Lately, I’m having trouble falling asleep because someone keeps kicking me. The news, if you’re not with me yet: My husband and I are expecting our first child later this summer. Why yes, we are terrified; thanks for asking.
{related: check out all of our pregnancy discussions here and on CorporetteMoms!}
One of the things I’ve been dying to talk about since becoming pregnant is the first trimester,* and the complete, mind-blowing fatigue that most women suffer.
I would have considered myself a trooper when it comes to energy and the job — I’ve worked through mono and two bouts of strep throat without missing more than a day of work. But apparently mono and strep can’t shake a stick at the whole “growing another human” thing.
It became incredibly difficult to get up and out the door in the morning — and by 3 PM every day I needed a nap. And not a 20-minute power nap, oh no: we’re talking at least a full 90-minute sleep cycle. I kept thinking about that Sheryl Sandberg talk for TED about how women, upon getting pregnant, should ramp up their career and go 120 miles per hour. NOW??? I kept thinking. Is she CRAZY?
This fatigue caught me totally by surprise. After all, a lot of women don’t talk about their pregnancies in their first trimester — the chance for miscarriage is highest then, and there aren’t many external physical indicators of early pregnancy (most first-time moms don’t start to show until around week 20).
A poll of my friends who have children or are pregnant confirmed it — everyone was exhausted during their first trimester, and every pregnancy book mentioned it. One friend, who was finishing up her final MBA year when she got pregnant, admitted that she slept 14 hours a day.
A few friends told me their miscarriage stories, where after going through nearly a full trimester full of fatigue they lost the baby, and in addition to having to deal quietly with the mental and physical repercussions of losing a baby (including surgery, sometimes), they had to get the energy up to try again.
(One friend noted that between her first pregnancy, which ended in miscarriage, and her second pregnancy, which she carried to term, her billable hours were shot for the year — and when she took her maternity leave they simply doubled the hours she had before she left. Ouch.) Another friend was cursed with such a bad case of nausea that she had to be medicated for it.
So I thought we’d talk about how to deal with the first trimester — keeping your energy up, rising to the occasion, and even maintaining your professional image through it all.
Before we get into the tips, though, here’s an interesting thing to ponder (and perhaps you ladies will weigh in): does it hurt us to talk about the hardships of pregnancy? By admitting that pregnancy affects our stamina and energy, is it simply justifying all those people who discriminate against women employees in their fertile years?
I’m almost ashamed to say the thought hadn’t occurred to me — and I’ve even been joking (at work, yes, and yes, my face is beet red) about pregnancy brain. One boss/mentor/friend heard me and gave me a sound rebuke (and a lecture on what it was like to be pregnant in a male-dominated environment in the late ’70s), and I think the lesson here is right: pregnancy should never be an excuse for why you can’t get something done at the office, or why the ts aren’t crossed.
But that may just mean you have to step up your OWN game even more — because while in the third trimester, when you’re showing and on your way out, people may cut you slack (whether they should or not): but in your first trimester it is largely a silent struggle.
How to Work Through Your First Trimester of Pregnancy
For my own $.02, these are the things I wish I’d known:
Wean yourself off coffee and diet Coke way before you start trying to get pregnant. The latest thinking re: pregnancy is that you are allowed to drink coffee, but only about a cup of it a day. Artificial sweeteners aren’t recommended, so diet Coke is off the list also. Before I got pregnant, I only drank about 2 or 3 cups in the morning, and then a diet Coke around lunchtime for an afternoon jolt — but decreasing to 1 cup a day and no diet Coke meant I was going through caffeine withdrawal at the same time as first trimester fatigue.
(I should also mention that your tastebuds may change, as mine did — all coffee tasted totally burnt to me for about 4 weeks, and regular Coke continues to gross me out.)
Stock up on orange juice, and cut your dependency on vitamin supplements. I kept reading that pregnant women should avoid vitamin supplements during this time (beyond your prenatals) and so I have avoided my beloved Emergen-C. Instead I kept buying OJ when I needed a jolt of energy.
Take your prenatals at night instead of in the morning. I’ve heard it’s the extra iron in the prenatals that makes you nauseous on an empty stomach — but whatever it was, I wish I’d stumbled on the advice to take them at night instead of in the morning long before I did.
Prepare your office for naps. Yes, seriously. Bring in whatever you need to make for a comfortable napping environment — pillows, blankets, etc., because you WILL need naps to make it even to 6pm (let alone 10 pm or whatever other quitting time is usual for you).
Eat frequently, and guzzle water. It took me a few weeks to realize that the nausea was so much worse if I hadn’t eaten for a few hours — I also would get these whanging headaches if I hadn’t eaten. Just a few unsalted Saltines and some cheese can help you function normally.
My final advice to women embarking on pregnancy is to time it well. The first trimester can be 6-8 weeks of feeling far, far less than your best, and I can think of a number of times in my own life when it would have been disastrous to be going through the first trimester: the first semester of law school, being a summer associate, crunchtime studying for the bar, and trial prep. So nail down your birth control methods during those time periods, ladies.
For those of you who’ve been pregnant, did your first trimester affect your energy, and how did you compensate for it at work? What tips do you have for the readers who hope to get pregnant some day — what’s your best advice on working through your first trimester of pregnancy?
* Oh, and some terminology for those not familiar with the joys of pregnancy: your pregnancy is counted from the first day of your last period, not the day you conceive, which means that by the time most women find out they’re pregnant they’re already “4-6 weeks pregnant.” The first trimester ends around week 13–so we’re really only talking about 6-8 weeks of extreme fatigue. Still: I’ve known careers to rise or fall in that time, so I think it is a relevant discussion for this blog.
Social media picture via Fotolia / vladimirfloyd.
Anonymous
I love this article! I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and have been on sick leave for 5 weeks because I’m nauseous all day, exhausted, dry heaving, vomiting occasionally, and not eating much at all resulting in additional fatigue and low energy. I was so unprepared for this! My mother reports easy nausea-free pregnancies with myself and my siblings and I ignorantly thought this would apply to me as well. If only! I’m hoping to return to work next week since I’m out of sick leave pay and didn’t want to claim short term disability. I’m still very sick but slightly better since starting Diclectin and Zantac for the nausea. I’m still not eating much but need to return to work. I’m a therapist who spends an hour at a time in an office with clients which is why being nauseous at my work just doesn’t fly. I’ve never heard of the degree of illness I experienced in pregnancy until I started looking online for others going through this. I want to applaud the author for starting this discussion. It is difficult to struggle in silence for fear of people knowing in the event of miscarriage. I’m now experiencing anxiety regarding what to tell coworkers when I return. Might be a nice topic for a future article!
anonymous
Thanks for this post, I really needed to hear it! I’m about 6 weeks now and am having a hard time keeping up with the non-stop schedule I had myself on prior to getting pregnant. I am used to getting a million things done, running 2 businesses, so now that I have to slow down because if I don’t I’ll just stare at the computer screen getting nothing done, I feel guilty about doing so. Additionally, everything feels like an emergency – I’m dying of thirst, gotta get to the bathroom asap, extremely tired all of a sudden, and I’m not used to any of this at all. It’s my first, and I haven’t told anyone yet and don’t intend to until I’ve gotten past the first trimester. It is nice to hear that I’m not the only working girl struggling, and that power naps are ok :) and that eventually, you do get back to feeling like yourself again.
pregnancy83
This is really good site.and its looking so nice.its very helpful. pregnancy symptoms before missed period
anon
I disagree with your statement about the fatigue of first trimester being a “silent struggle”. Im 8wks and im not keeping it,because it doesn’t fit my lifestyle right now…and the worst part is neing at work where i do heavy lifting and 8-10hrs a day without break intense labor.i also work with all men and of course im not telling anyone im pregnant since im not keeping it. They all keep asking why im so tired and making jokes about being preggo. I just want to scream at thm and say “imfreaking exhasted because im pregnant!!!!!!!” Instead of all the lame excuses i have to come up with. No pregnant woman should suffer in silence and YES you can and should use it as an excuse! Its exhausting!!!
Kathryn
This has been a very interesting thread. I am a doctor and I am in the middle of my first trimester (second child). I have had extreme nausea and exhaustion but I haven’t missed a day of work (yet). It’s has been far from easy. When I come home, I collapse. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband and a three year old who is good at entertaining himself with his trains/cars/legos. Seems to me that the main problem is that some women are unable to say no. There are appropriate ways to politely “say no” if you are asked to unfairly carry someone elses burden. If you are unable to learn this skill, you will have an unhappy career and you will likely be burned out very soon. Regardless of whether you have children or not. Women should strive to find a good work/life balance at EVERY stage of life, not just during pregnancy. Your life will be much happier for it!
madhu
I came across this article while searching for what else can I do to keep a sane mind during my first trimester.like you rightly said.,it is a silent battle.I have been super energetic at work at all times but with the pregnency all the miserable symptoms have attacked me..starting with severe nausea , headace, acidity and I am 11 weeks and it doesn’t look like subsiding at all.I feel angry annoyed at my condition..and I feel may be I am strong enough to take it..millions of women are out there working in this condition but I just can’t do anything right..I look miserable.lost 8 pounds .and hate to go to office or even interact with people.I dunno what can help..
Angela R
Thank you for this article. I just found out that I am 7 weeks pregnant and I have never felt so overwhelmed with body irregularities in my life! Nobody knows except my S.O., and we are trying to keep it a secret, but I know that people at work are wondering what’s going on. My (male) boss asked me if I am allergic to something since I have so much nausea! I thought I was strong, working through mono, jet lag, and other ailments, but this has completely overwhelmed me. I’m glad to know that I’m “normal”–that was my biggest fear.
Corgie
I am in my second trimester. My first was EXAUSTING to say the least. I got my energy from b-complex vitamins (b-6 counteracts nausea, b-9 is folic acid which baby needed anyway and b-12 which gave me a jolt of energy. It helped a lot!
Dotty
Exmeltery helpful article, please write more.
Wendie
Congrats, and welcome to mommyhood.. thee best club on this earth.
I am now 6.5 weeks pregnant for the second time, and my oldest is now 6 years old.
Nauseousness occurs every morning for me, during the afternoons, and even in the evenings. Certain smells trigger the feeling, and certain foods calms it. Ginger Ale does a great job to soothe my stomach, and saltine crackers or Ritz crackers are phenomenal too. Drinking water helps, but drinking too much makes me feel like I’m bobbing out in the sea.
My last pregnancy I was so sick for at least the first 7 months. Thats way into the 3rd trimester. So everyone is different. I too took my vitamins at night, but this time I’m taking them during the day. I’ve prepared snacks, and small meals for through out the day eating. And I’m seriously on a veggie kick!! Yum, can’t get enough..
I am exhausted.. I can’t get enough sleep during the day! I sleep when I get home, sleep in the mornings, take naps at work etc. I’m a Paraprofessional, so I am expected to have full energy, but I don’t. So now I’m looking for some foods that can supply my energy, and not make me nauseous in the same bite!!
Hope my experience helps. Good luck and best wishes to all of you.
Anonymous
Hi! I’m currently pregnant with number 2 and with my first pregnancy I had to stop working from the nausea. However, this time, I have an office job and am struggling to keep my eyes open past 9 AM. I asked my boss if I could take small naps when I needed to, as long as I was caught up on work, and she said no. Apparently they can’t pay me for random hours each day…? Any recommendations? As soon as I miss my 9 AM nap (which is not normal for me) I start getting hit with extreme nausea and struggle through the rest of the day. If I sleep for about an hour, I make it through the day just fine.
Anonymous
Diet coke is fine in pregnancy. I don’t drink any fizzy drinks but after a diabetic appointment last week with a dietician at the hospital she said artificial sweetness are absolutely fine to consume thus making diet coke perfectly fine to have. There are enough restrictions without adding ones that are ok to have.
dayana sanabria
Thank you for this post, is awesome. I am actually in my first trimester and I am falling at sleep at work I can’t help it…
Alex
I know I’m coming late to this, but I was searching online for any information about getting through the first trimester at work. I have to say I was very shocked at your idea of women having to work harder during pregnancy so as not to face discrimination. True equality comes from structural change that doesn’t discriminate based on gender, race, religion, and yes, whether or not you are pregnant. This means creating workplaces that are accepting of pregnant women, aware of some of the issues associated with working while pregnant, and making accommodations. Think what you will about women needing to act a certain way to be equal, but please do not cloak it as empowering for women. I’d like to think having a public voice like you do you should be trying to be part of the solution, and not the problem.
If you’re going to have a voice on issues like this, please try to do some research first.