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Coffee Break: Zombie Growler Platform Heels

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Zombie Growler Platform Heels in Black by Iron FistOooh: I'm loving these zombie growler platform heels for a casual day at the office. Not only do they give you a lot of height (which obviously makes you way more authoritative) but those adorable zombie teeth will be peeking out from beneath your trousers, as if to tell your coworkers, “grrrawr!” They're $51.99 at Amazon. Zombie Growler Platform Heels in Black by Iron Fist N.B. Know your office! Sandals, platforms, and zombies are not appropriate for every office. (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

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123 Comments

      1. Yup… I made essentially the same comment on the short suit post and now I’m sad and disapppointed in fashion…

        1. Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I love these shoes and am considering purchasing them. And wearing them to work (on Fridays).

          1. Me too!!! I don’t care for the slides (noisy, and I can never walk in slides), but the peep toes and ballet flats are really freaking cute.

          2. I actually ended up buying these and another pair. They’re going to be here on Wednesday, I’ll report back on whether I like them or not!

        2. I love that the top review (very positive) is from a guy who bought these for his wife for xmas. Obviously, it’s a know-your-spouse situation, but I instantly pictured my SO gifting them to me and how I would open the box and … uh, be surprised.

          Also, love that the one negative review notes that the person wanted to love them because they are “very edgy but feminine, too (w/ the bow and all)” but, alas, the material — I totally agree.

      3. I know a few people with these or similar shoes ;) Iron FIst is really popular in the alternative fashion scene. (and yes, it does consist of grown-ups as well as misundastoood teens ;))

        the short suits, on the other hand… i got nuthin.

      4. Me EITHER. I would Never wear this, even to a party. I think it’s b/c of April’s fools that Kat is posteing this wierd stuff.

        Already Lynn is texting me telling me to call the manageing partner. It happened 3x today. Evidentely the manageing partner does NOT like it when I am not there b/c when the cleint’s call, he has to update them and he is NOT famieliar with all of my cases, let alone MY STRATEGY for how to handel them goeing forward. So he get’s nervous and insist’s that we call them back together. Silly guy. I wish I was NOT tethered to the office like this, but wehn your invaluabel like ME, then I guess I have to put up with it.

        My Grandma Leyeh told me that she wanted me MARRIED and with Child within 18 month’s and she is giveing me an incentive. She said that she will give a dowery of $50,000 to me and my husband if we are married and at least pregnent by Next Rosh Hashana. Grandma Leyeh says she is not getting any younger and neither am I she says, so she wants me to pop out a legitimate child PRONTO. I aksed her if I could go INVITRO and she says NO. I must have a HUSBAND. FOOEY b/c I can do the invitro in 9 month’s, and the guy’s are all LOSERS who I do NOT want to marry.

        Does anyone in the HIVE have a normal guy to introduce me to who want’s KIDS PRONTO? He would like Grandma Leyeh, she is like me–very fiestey! YAY!!!!

        I do NOT want a guy who just wants sex. FOOEY on that. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    2. Haha! I love that we’re keeping the April Fools’ theme going all day (unless, of course, all of these are serious suggestions…)

      1. Wait? So are you all saying that you DIDN’T wear these shoes today with your leather and lace shorts suit? You all are so unprofessional! :-)

  2. Does anyone have a rec for an eye doctor in DC? Bonus points for on the redline and accepts FEPblue. Thanks!

    1. When I was in law school in DC I loved Dr. Kang at Eye Doctors of Washington. Their office is right above the metro at Friendship Heights. Technically in MD, but just barely. I’m not sure what insurance they accept these days.

    2. I like Dr. Ayelew at Metropolitan Optical. Her office is at 19th and Penn, just a few blocks from Farragut Square.

    3. I really liked Dr Rosenblatt near Farragut North, but I don’t know about the insurance. I was sad to switch jobs and have to get a new optometrist when he became too inconvenient.

  3. Wish these came in a lower heel.

    DH and I, and possibly our 18-year-old son, will be in New York for a week in August. I haven’t been since college and then only briefly. DH has a conference at a hotel in mid-town north but really only needs to be there about a day and a half; we don’t want to stay at the conference hotel and will be getting an apartment through VRBO or Airbnb. We’re thinking maybe Greenwich Village, and we’ve have spotted some nice-looking and reasonable apartments near Union Square. I’m not entirely sure what we’ll be doing but definitely walking the High Line, going to MOMA (and some of the smaller museums and galleries recommended on this site recently), seeing at least one Broadway show (hopefully BOM) and hitting bookstores (the Strand is on my list already). Also, we are vegetarian/vegan, so proximity to one or more good veg restaurants would be a plus. Any advice on the best neighborhood to choose? (And should I try to convince my family to ride the SI Ferry to see the Statue of Liberty? Or take a boat tour?)

    1. Two vegetarian/vegan places to try: Blossom (they have Blossom Du Jour in Hell’s Kitchen on 9th Ave, which is a smaller, take-out type place), and Dirt Candy (Lower East Side, so farther away, but absolutely worth a trip).

      Both Greenwich Village and Union Square have their pluses and minuses. If you need good subway access to the East side, Union Square might be easier for you. If you want more of a neighborhood feel, I’d stay in the Village.

    2. Union Square is great for the sheer number of transportation options (subway lines, etc.) available to you. GV is also great, but depending on where you are exactly, Union Sq. may have slightly better subway access.

      As far as vegetarian options, NYC will have you covered no matter where you end up. I like Cafe Blossom on Carmine St. (with related locations in Chelsea, on Columbus Ave. on the Upper West Side and also V-Note on 1st and E79 on the Upper East Side); Candle Cafe on 3rd avenue in the east 70s (good location if you’re heading to the Upper East Side to go to Museums/Central Park); Dirt Candy (East Village); Pure Food and Wine (near Union Sq., on Iriving Place); and Angelika Kitchen (E 12th – easy walk from both GV and Union Sq.) … If you’re in China Town, there’s a great little place called Buddha Bodai that is kosher vegetarian chinese – sounds weird but it’s a fun place.

      Also, keep in mind that most places will have at least one or two veggie options, and if you’re adventurous eaters, don’t forget about the many Indian, Ethiopean, Chinese, etc., restaurants — they all tend to have a lot of veggie options available, too, even if they’re not strictly vegetarian places. And don’t forget about falafel – Mamoun’s on Macdougal St. in the village is an institution. Also – if you’re in Washington Sq. Park, there’s a stand across from NYU that sells really delicious dosas during the day (great for a picnic).

    3. I can’t really help you on the neighborhood, although I would think that either the Village or Union Square would be fine and would have vegan/vegetarian options. The real reason I’m writing is to say that you absolutely should make your family get out on the SI ferry or some other boat if it’s nice weather – it’s just beautiful to be out on the water on a nice summer day. Last I knew the Statue of Liberty was closed due to damage from Hurricane Sandy and not due to reopen any time soon. You could probably still take the boat to Ellis Island, which should give you a closeup view of the Statue of Liberty even if the island is still closed. I wouldn’t bother with a long boat tour around Manhattan; I would think that would get pretty boring after a while. Also, if you want to go to BOM you had better buy tickets right away or be prepared to spent huge amounts of money for scalpers or premium seats, and even then you might not be able to get tickets.
      And I agree with you about the shoes. (Seems like Kat put an awful lot of work into today’s posts!)

      1. You could also take the Ikea ferry (leaves from South Street Seaport) and hang out in Red Hook for the day. NYTimes just did a great feature on day trips to the neighborhood and you get a fantastic view of the SoL and a really unique experience away from the tourist crowds. http://tinyurl.com/cjqpv33

    4. Great ideas, everyone! I’ve read about Dirt Candy, looking forward to trying it, and the trip to Red Hook sounds great for us.

      1. I would vote East Village or Union Square. I’m vegan and live in the East Village because there are so many veg options here. Angelica Kitchen is one of my mainstays. There’s a great pizza place Viva Herbal at 2nd Ave/11th-12th that only does vegetarian and vegan; Atlas Cafe on 2nd Ave between 4th and 5th has lots and lots of vegan goodies; just yesterday I walked past a vegetarian French bistro type place on 6th or 7th by Avenue A. There’s also Souen which is veg Japanese, Lan Cafe which is vegan Vietnamese, Organic Grill on 1st Ave which has tons of veg stuff, … Lula’s Sweet Apothecary for dessert can’t be beat (the best vegan ice cream ever). New bakery called Jennifer’s Way on 10th St between 1st and A is gluten-free and claims to be 90% vegan; also right next door is Quintessence, which does raw vegan. If you walk down to the Lower East Side, more of the good stuff awaits there too.

        If you’ll be stuck in Midtown-ish, there’s a fantastic Korean place called Hangawi (vegan) and it has a sister restaurant called Franchia that is more pan-Asian and informal. They’re in the 30s around Park or Madison, I think.

        (Welcome and I hope you love your visit, including all the fantastic food here! I love spreading the vegan love.)

        2. Ooh, now I’m getting hungry!

          All of this info is great, thank you so much.

          Frankly, the idea of a vacation in NY in August was kind of meh for me — I want a beach holiday but never seem to get one — but now I’m getting excited.

      2. Red Hook would be fun. I love the SI ferry. If there is a game during your visit, you could go see the Staten Island Yankees when you are there (minor league baseball). Very fun, right by the ferry terminal, and they often have fireworks afterwards in the summer.

        I would also recommend taking the tram to Roosevelt Island and checking out the new Four Freedoms Park/Memorial. It is gorgeous and a fun outing (the tram is awesome, too).

        Did someone recommend Governor’s Island? That would also be fun and different, and also involves a boat. In August, you’ll want any excuse to be out on the water!

        1. Watch out about the Four Freedoms park — it has wacky hours and is locked in between (they are very concerned about vandals apparently), but Roosevelt Island makes for a nice walk anyway.

          My parents took me on one of those “round the island” boat tours and it was great! We had a wonderful guide and the tour covered history/architecture/geology. Would definitely recommend that, if you can get a good guide. My parents visit maybe once a year and by now they’ve done all the normal touristy things. So now we do restaurants, unfamiliar outer-borough neighborhoods and my dad picks a bridge for us to walk across (which generally involves an outer-borough neighborhood). The only place I’d suggest not staying is downtown/financial district — it is dead after five and kind of creepy to be in hotel down there.

      1. Me, too! But they were pretty expensive for something that’s a lark. Then they disappeared from her site. There were Leonard pumps, too.

  6. So perfect for my goddaughter’s baptism! They’ll match my new Lilly Pulitzer sundress perfectly!

  7. I am thinking of giving my daughter a website for a college graduation present – a domain name and webhosting services for a year or two. She is an Arts Management major and HAS A JOB!!! (Please forgive proud, relieved mother shouting) She wants to set up a small business on the side to do photography and I thought this might help. She does not currently have a website, although lots of social media type things. And her name is available as a .com domain name.

    So I am asking the hive – is this a dumb gift? If not, do you have any recommendations for a web hosting service?

    1. I think buying her a domain name is a sweet idea.

      Avoid goDaddy and 1and1 internet, my opinion.

    2. I think buying her a domain name is a nice idea. Is your last name available as a .com? I only ask because I’ve lately been itching to have an email address of

      myfirstname@mylastname.com

      since I learned that [mylastname].com is up for auction. Even if she doesn’t use the site to set up a design (though it might be nice to get her some web design services or let her get set up to put together the website (unless her major has already prepared her for this)), she can use it as an email address forwarded to her gmail.

      1. Unfortunately we share our last name with a huge corporation, so that will never be available. I was thinking of her firstnamemiddlename.com, but that was taken. But, firstnamelastname.com is available. I figured if she wants a different name, she could buy additional domains and have them point to this website.

    5. Maybe a domain name and a subscription to Smug Mug? It’s really great for professional photographers and allows a custom domain name.

    7. I got this as a college graduation gift (about 10 years ago) :) — it’s a really sweet idea. If she would be into designing the site herself, I really like Wix as a website editor. I think they have packages where you can buy the domain and the Wix subscription together and it’s cheaper that way. I’m sure other editors/packages exist too.

      1. +1 for Square Space! Cargo Collective is also a good design-ey website building tool.

    9. That is awesome. As someone who cannot purchase my name as a domain, I’m envious of her.

  8. Any advice for asking a partner how his holiday was, when he doesn’t, in fact, celebrate that holiday? I was trying to make small talk, and asked a partner at my firm “Did you have a good Easter?” I think because I don’t really celebrate it as a religious holiday, but as bunnies and candy for the kids, I wasn’t as thoughtful about it as I would be around Christmas/Hanukkah. As the words came out of my mouth, my brain was like “noooooo he’s jewish” but it was done. He politely said he didn’t celebrate Easter but he had a good weekend, and we chit chatted for a bit after about other things. Now I’m in my office and so embarrassed. I can’t decide if I should apologize, or just let it go. He didn’t seem offended (more confused because his religious affiliation is fairly well known in the office). FWIW, I’m a new associate so I probably get a tiny pass since I’ve only been here for a few months. He was so kind and graceful about it, but I feel like such a fool. Just leave it alone? Make a joke in passing at my own social ineptitude? Apologize in case any offense was taken?

    1. He’s no longer thinking about it. Just leave it alone. We all do something like that at one point or another (I once casually referred to how something would be “a great present for, you know, your girlfriend or something” when talking to a junior associate, and as the words came out of my mouth, thought, “…if you had one, which I’m pretty sure you don’t, because there is a picture of you and a guy holding hands and looking romantical on your desk, OY VEY.”).

    2. Leave it alone unless you (reasonably) feel like he was reaaaaaaaaaally. I don’t celebrate Easter though people asked me, and I’m not offended either.

    4. Don’t bring it up again unless there is some special reason to think that he would be offended. I’m Jewish and this happens to me every Christmas/Easter. I’m never offended, I just say “Oh actually I’m Jewish, but I had a nice weekend, I did XYZ.”

    5. It’s ok, don’t worry about it. As a non-Easter person, I would find that much less annoying and presumptuous than people just saying “happy Easter” in passing or in an email about other stuff.

    6. just leave it alone! no need to make a bigger deal of this than necessary–I think THAT would be awkward. I’m sure he recognized it for what it was–polite chit chat.

    7. This literally happened to me this morning. One of the nurses asked if I had a nice Easter (I’m Jewish, and in fact usually wear a small Star of David around my neck). I replied that I had a lovely weekend and we moved on. I’d already forgotten about it. Move on, but it will probably be a mistake you won’t make again.

  9. Uhmmmm… I had no idea shoes like this existed, and I actually want a pair of IRON FIST Sweet Skull O Mine Platfom Heels now…

    The zombies are a bit much, though! ;)

    1. I read this and I have mixed feelings. I think this lady comes off as extremely tone deaf and I think she goes overboard and minimizes the idea that plenty of women have life goals outside of “awesome and impressive husband!”

      But I do think that a selective college (and I imagine, a selective graduate school as well) will put you among a specific cohort of your peers in a way that the real world doesn’t often. I did feel like there was a “baseline” level of compatibility with the average person I met in college, in terms of values, intellect, and life goals, and that now out in the real world, I meet a much bigger variance of people.

      I think overall that’s a net positive – I get to talk to people who have all different sorts of experiences, backgrounds and see a much bigger “slice of the world” these days than I ever did in college. But I do think that if it’s important to you to have a spouse with a similar educational background to you, college or grad school is a good place to find one. Even more than that, I think in college/grad school you meet many, many, many more people who are just open to MEETING people (not necessarily in a romantic sense) than you do once you start working.

      So yes. I think her point is overblown and she sounds like a snob, but there may be a grain of truth in there.

      1. My problem isn’t with suggesting that people should meet potential spouses at school, but that it was specifically targeted at the women. Why weren’t the men given the same advice?

        Why is this advice though? I always thought that it just naturally happened for a good percentage of my college class, and then again with my law school class.

        1. Agree that it just happened naturally. She is targeting women because I do think that this is a new thing- women not committing to college bfs because they are focused on their careers, when really, they could do both. I think the new empowered woman (which is an amazing thing) might be taken all the advice a little to literally, and forgetting that the man or woman you chose to make a life with (if you want a partner) is a hugely important decision for your career and for other aspects of your personal happiness.

          Also, women do have a shorter time table because of biology. They just do. And I know its common to say well men can date younger why can’t women! And they can, but there is a huge difference in the ability, ease, and expense to have children between a couple that is a 40year old man and 30 year old woman, vs the other way around.

          1. Ok, maybe the advice giver just isn’t talking to someone like me because I don’t want to have children.

            As far as dating and marrying older men though, that is somewhat ignoring her advice though, unless it is for the freshman women to look to senior men or grad students so that they can find someone at college who is more likely to be ready to settle down and consider having children. In that case, I still suggest that the men should be receiving this advice as well.

          6. I can’t think of a single friend of mine who had a fabulous college boyfriend that was begging to marry her, but turned him down for her career. Is this really a thing that exists now, in an era when married women can still work?*

            *Note: my grandmother had to leave teaching when she got married.

          7. cbackson, I think that it’s more complicated than that – there’s a lot of press out there now about women in college/grad school who are specifically avoiding relationships or serious relationships, apparently on the grounds that they are too distracting to acheiving their goals. I assume that those women are who she is attempting to reach.

            (Note that I’m not saying that those women are actually a thing – I’ve just read articles that talk about them, I have no idea whether or not they actually exist. I do think that we, as a culture, are putting off marriage and extending adolesence way too long, though I certainly think both sexes are guilty.)

        2. At the risk of stirring up trouble, I think women objectively have more issues with meeting eligible men down the line than do men with women. It’s a really common refrain with my single girlfriends and it isn’t something I hear very often from my single male friends. I just attended the wedding of a “life long bachelor” who up and decided that he would commit at 42 to a woman who is 29. To the extent that he ever complained about “not meeting nice girls to settle down with” it was always done in jest. I don’t see that happening in reverse amongst my social circle too often. All the single women I know complain that the men they meet either don’t want to settle down, are divorced/with or without kids, or are looking for younger women with whom to have kids or younger women who won’t force them to have kids right away. Not to mention that when you start to work a lot like many professional women do, it’s just hard to find people to date. Office romance is discouraged, you can’t date your clients or opposing counsel, random guys in bars get freaked out when you say you’re a lawyer—- it’s not easy! I think maybe it’s all changing but change comes slowly.

          1. Agree +1000 , so difficult to meet men after college. Most of the amazing guys I know these days are all my co-workers/clients and thus off limits. Work/college is such an organic way to meet people especially for someone who hates dating for sake of dating, it just feels so fake and frustrating, but I guess that’s all I have got now in search of a life partner — my day feels depressing now.

          2. I don’t disagree that it’s harder to meet people after college, it most definitely is. Not even just meeting potential significant others, but even meeting new friends is harder after school.

            I was single throughout college and for many years after, but (at least in college) it wasn’t for lack of trying or desire. I would have loved to meet someone then. I did meet my caignificant other a little before I turned 29, so it worked out well for me though.

            I just hate the feeling and attitude that it is up to the woman to land a man and start a family. It takes two people to do that (get into a committed relationship, I mean). Giving advice like this only to women just seems to ultimately reinforce the bachelor/old maid double standard.

          3. Sydney, I agree that it shouldn’t be a women’s only issue. I just happen to think it is more of a women’s issue b/c it disproportionately affects women. Men don’t need to be told to look for a good woman because they will generally have more options and biology doesn’t impact them the same way.

        3. The woman points out in the article that many men don’t mind marrying “down” in some way – they marry women who are younger, less educated, have a less prestigious job, etc. So, even if they don’t meet someone in college, they will be less picky about the women they meet after college, and will still be able to find one to marry.

          She states that women don’t do this, which on one hand is clearly false as a blanket statement. Some women (like my mother!) marry men who have somewhat less education than they do, are somewhat younger, etc. On the other hand, I think she makes a good point that it is often more difficult for whatever reason for women to marry this way. So, in her mind, intelligent men don’t need this advice because they can always find someone less intelligent than they are to marry, whereas women want someone who is their intellectual equal.

          Although I agree with her basic point that college is a good place to meet a spouse who is similar to you, I have problems with this article for a few reasons. Most importantly, she seems to think that intelligence is the most important quality one should seek in a spouse. Additionally, she conflates intelligence with education, and education with prestigious education. Finally, all these articles telling women to marry and have children younger sound naive. Most men don’t want to get married right out of college, and telling women to hurry up and marry the men isn’t going to change that. Lecture women as much as you want, but marriage still requires the decision of two people.

          1. The education=intelligence thing really irks me. I went to college, grad school, and law school with some book smart, learn to the test sort of people who excelled in that environment and otherwise have a very hard time functioning in society. Meanwhile, my SO scraped an associates together with his (to me) infuriating attitude of “I know this better than the professor, I’m not writing a stupid paper to prove that to him, this is dumb” sort of attitude. He is one of the smartest, most well read people I know (more than I am, to some extent). He just did not excel in the academic environment where crappy papers that regurgitate the book and lecture get A’s, and original thought is frowned upon as off-topic. I respect him a lot for reading and learning about all kinds of topics simply for the sake of knowing something, rather than to get an A.

          2. I think the comments about marrying up and down are dated. It was probably entirely true up to the 50s before women started becoming part of the workforce in large numbers, but isn’t any more, and becoming less so all the time, at least by my own anecdata, including in otherwise (relatively) conservative European and Asian countries.

            Practically all the alpha woman (C-level, MD, business owner, typically 40s – 50s etc) whom I know personally and who have kids, also have husbands who’ve taken lower-key paths in life and who contribute more to nurturing their home life. To me, it looks like a decision each family has taken to adapt an existing formula (splitting the provider/ nurturer roles) to best suit their own circumstances.

            And I see more younger professional women – my mentees, people who’ve worked for me – making similar decisions to give the flick to the traditional big-strong-providing-bread-winning Prince Charming, as they realize they can do many of these things on their own account, and actually choose to be with someone who shares their values and interests in life.

      2. I hate this article for a million reasons, but there is, as momentsofabsurdity pointed out, a grain of truth in there.

        At least four of my friends have lamented not treating their personal life as another four credit class. And that doesn’t just mean finding a boyfriend. It means learning how to meet people outside of their “work” activities, and creating lasting friendships. But it also includes learning how to date, and learning how to be in a relationship and learning how relationships (with both friends and significant others) require compromise.

        It’s not really that by skipping dating/relationships in college means losing a pool of eligible bachelors, because there are great guys out there to be found everywhere. But by skipping dating/relationships they skipped a four year period where other men and women were developing their “relationship skills” – both with friends and significant others. So they were way ahead career-wise when they graduated, and way behind in their social lives.

        1. I think that “treat your personal life as a four credit class” is easy to say but doesn’t necessarily mean anything in reality. Yes, in an ideal world we would all learn certain social things at the same time and then be totally fine with them when we graduated from college. But I think that any given individual kind of has to go through things in their own way. And it’s not a linear “A then B then C” progression; the kinds of life events and experiences that shape you and develop who you are don’t happen that way, and don’t get everyone to the same place, nor should they.

          So when you’re looking at your personal life and it’s not exactly where you want it to be, it’s easy to say you should have treated it as seriously as your career, especially if you, like most of us, have been successful in your career by treating it as a linear “A then B then C” progression. But, just like so many people find the careers they get that way don’t really make them happy, the personal lives you get that way aren’t necessarily going to be the stuff of your dreams either. I think the ultimate answer here is that none of this stuff is akin to learning organic chemistry and we’d be happier if we internalized that, unlike organic chemistry, there isn’t going to be a right answer or a true path.

    2. A lot of the men I knew in college weren’t interested in seriously dating at that time, or weren’t mature enough to get married. I believe many of them will make great husbands when they’re ready!

    3. My take?

      ***cough***bitter divorcee***cough***

      Which is not to say that all divorcees are bitter – not by a long shot! But good grief. This pains me – it reads like she’s in mourning for a life she didn’t have, and now she wants everyone else not to make the same mistake, except that FAILING TO MEET HER FUTURE HUSBAND AT PRINCETON WASN’T A “MISTAKE” TO BEGIN WITH!!

      Marry (or not) the person that is right for you. Regardless of where you meet them. I can pretty much guarantee you that, had I married anyone I dated in college, I would no longer be married to that person. Because it would have been a mistake.

      1. I had the same thought re: bitter divorcee. There are ~3.5 billion men on earth. She married and divorced one. The fact that he did or did not attend Princeton at the same time she did is irrelevant.

        I absolutely agree with Anon’s last paragraph and was going to say the same thing. Marry the right person, regardless of where or when you meet them.

        The woman says of young men at Princeton: “These are the best, best guys.” I disagree. There are going to be good ones and bad ones, just as there are at universities, offices, churches, and any other place where two potential spouses can meet.

      2. Yes. She says that her ex-husband was always hung up on his non-Ivy League status compared to her and the kids’ more prestigious education and surmises that he felt his own alma mater was lacking. I’m willing to bet he only felt that way because she told him so over and over and over again until he got so sick of hearing about Princeton that they divorced.

    4. Out of everyone I know, I know only one person who marred her college boyfriend, and they were together for thirteen years after college before getting married at age 35. This article is great for stirring up trouble, but it’s just not the way the world works, in my experience. (Or at least not the way the world works in the urban northeast).

      1. But I do know a lot of people who married people they met in law school/grad school
        (I know two couples who married after having dated in college).

        I agree that this is one of those provocative articles that people really give too much attention, and I don’t think anyone needs to lament not following its advice when they were 21. But I also don’t think it hurts to acknowledge that it is just so much easier to meet people when you’re in school and sometimes having that common background can be helpful.

        1. True — I do know a lot more people who met in law school / grad school / med school. But that stage of life feels different to me than college. Many people have worked for a few years, have their own apartments, are supporting themselves, etc. College kids are just so young(and get off my lawn!).

      2. Really? most of my friends (northeast) married their college bfs. (the ones they met senior year, not freshman year) I think her article is tone deaf, but I kind of get her point. Most people graduate at 24, and I think most women would like to get married at the 28 year mark. 4 years isn’t a ton of time to meet someone, date, get engaged and get married. And for those saying they were too immature, really if you want to get married around 28/29 (which a lot of women do if they want children), you are prob. meeting your fiance around 24 or 25 to have two-3 years of dating, 1-2 years engagement. And with how quickly people get divorced, I think the more time you have to get to know someone before marriage the better. It seemed like a string of people I know did the meet at 26, engaged by 27, married by 28, divorced by 32.

        I also get what she is saying about the “pool” In college, you meet many, many more people and it seems very naturally to meet, as opposed to the real world when you meet it is usually more of networking or dating potential. In college you just met people, you could kind of end up dating much more organically than after, when every dinner becomes a date with a capital D.

      3. I married my college (and high school) boyfriend, and all but one of my friends from college is married to their college boyfriend or girlfriend now (I know, I know, we’re all going to get divorced in five years, etc., etc.). I think it tends to go in groups, so if you were in a committed, long term relationship with someone in college, your group of friends was more likely to include other people who were either in such a relationship or looking for such a relationship. In other words, I don’t know how helpful anecdotes are in this situation.

    5. I came across the same article earlier, I have always been super focused on my career but sort of conflicted on this one.
      Now that I am 7 years out of undergrad, I wonder if it would have helped to date seriously in college. I did have 1-2 shortlived boyfriends but they were not someone I ever seriously considered as marriage material. College is a good environment to meet lots of men often with similar interest/educational background.
      Looking back, I was just too busy trying to finish an engineering major and minor in 3 years (at a top 3-4 engineering college in the nation, not an ivy). I was also doing research for a professor, worked as a teaching assistant , lived in an apartment from sophomore year taking care of grocery/cleaning/cooking etc. I was insanely busy all through college, never had much time for socializing or party scene, not sure how I could fit in a serious relationship with this. Professionally I did well, graduated early with 3.8+ GPA, won a prestigious national scholarship and had several high paying job offers to choose from. But many years later and still single, I kind of regret missing out on the college dating pool now that I see so many my friends married after long term college relationships.
      I am glad I focused on my academics in college, it got me where I am today coming from a very modest background, but I still wonder if life would just have so much easier if I just found THE one back in college, dating just seems so much harder now.

      1. I haven’t read the article yet and might not get to it. I kind of feel like you do, though – it would have been a lot easier to have met a life partner in college or law school, and actually, I’d kind of prefer to have gotten over the “I’m looking for someone” stage by now. But it wasn’t like there were tons of guys lining up to date me or to date me seriously back then. I was quite shy when I was younger, so I’m sure I missed some signals, and maybe if I had been more aware and more confident things would have been different… but who knows, really. I do always hate the implication of these kinds of articles, that those of us who are delaying marriage are doing so because we’re just having too much fun or we’re too focused on our careers. Maybe we’re just trying to get by and doing the best we can, like everybody else, and we just didn’t happen to find someone along the way.

    6. I *did* marry my college boyfriend. We were friends for 2.5 years, then dated the last year of college. We were both feeling good at graduation but really unsure what the future would bring…then I got into grad school in the same city he got his best job offer (we shopped similar cities on purpose, but were expecting to long-distance it, which to both of us had undertones of maybe having to say goodbye). Long story short- we stayed together, married 4 years after college was over, and have been together for 9 years now.

      I have friends that didn’t date in college, and have very powerful careers–and are having a lot of trouble meeting like-minded guys that are not in their immediate field. I wouldn’t say “spend all college shopping for a husband” but would advise college grads to stay in touch with college friends/flings– who knows what will happen at weddings or reunions.

      I would add that I am not the only one to have found my mate that young- we have several couples that dated my year and ended up marrying (NOT right out of college, but eventually). My best friend started dating his wife his senior year of college, then made a crazy long-distance relationship work for NINE YEARS before marrying her. They had literally never lived in the same city prior to being married. Other friends found their match in graduate school.

      Just $.02

    7. Haven’t read the article but I have always felt really blessed to have met my husband in college. We dated all through college and waited a few years after college to actually get married but were engaged by graduation. I can’t think of a nice way to say this but I have met few men post college that I would have been interested in dating. I am having a hard enough time finding people to be friends with in the “real world.” It seems like everyone I meet ends up being a drug user, friends with total a$$holes, full of drama or some other reason I would rather just not have them in my life. College for me, and maybe partly because it was a religious school, surrounded me with people who shared my belief system (which is surprisingly secular – basically do good things for other people and don’t be a jerk), shared my drive and work ethic, and had fun doing the same things (mainly drinking and skiing – not at the same time.) I think we also had a rare opportunity to grow up together in a sense and bond when we had few major life decisions to make. It created a solid base for attacking the world together as adults.

      1. I completely agree with the feeling blessed to have met the right person in college. I met mine at 19 and married him at 21 (between my junior and senior years), and now, 12 years later, am still amazed at how happy we are. Blond Lawyer’s last two sentences completely hit home for me. I feel sorry that more people don’t have this opportunity.

    8. Novel advice for women and everyone else: Marry someone when you meet someone you would like to marry and that person also wants to marry you.

    9. I didn’t feel *quite* ready to get married right after college, but my boyfriend was, and my parents were very clear that college is the best time to meet someone suitable to marry, and it only gets harder to meet people and start a relationship after that.

      So I got married a week after I graduated and I’m SO glad I did. My husband has been nothing but helpful as I got adjusted to my job after graduation and pursued additional education. Being married has really allowed me to focus on my career right now since I don’t need to be dating. We’ve been married for almost four years and together for seven.

      I think it is particularly important for people who have very specific requirements about who they might marry. And I would not hesitate to tell my children to select a college *partially* based on what kind of people they might meet there. For instance, I knew that it would be important to me to (eventually) marry someone from my own faith so I selected my undergrad because, among many other reasons, it is a religious institution. If a woman picked Princeton for very specific reasons, she is more likely to meet someone there who also picked Princeton for those reasons – that is, there’s a larger pool there that shares her values. I think it makes sense.

    10. Ugh!!!! You don’t have a shelf life!!!! You are an amazing person and there is someone who will love and cherish and respect you for who you are! So glad my dad told me to grow up, be what I wanted to be and marry who I loved. I met my husband in undergrad (we attended different schools, though) but what a disaster we’d have been if we’d gotten married then!

      What this really smacks of is class-ism…..

      1. I would rather live out all my days as a lonely, haggard spinster, and not have the option of ever having kids, than be with a man who prefers someone younger or less intelligent, or who thought he was doing me some kind of favor by committing. I can’t imagine good decisions made on the basis of this lame psychology of scarcity, women are always one-down thinking.

        My parents were scandalized when I broke up with my long-term Ivy League boyfriend in our early 20s. Wish him the best, but our relationship was a disaster and I would absolutely be divorced now if I had followed this advice. I know not everyone shares my priorities, but honestly I think one reason I have ended up in a happy relationship is that I’m automatically uninterested in men who are intimidated by me.

        1. Yes. This. And there are lots of children who could use someone to mom them if that is a need for you.

      1. The connection between assortative matching and income inequality is an interesting offshoot of this topic.

    12. If I believed for a second that there were a ton of college girls that met awesome guys who they could know at that point would be amazing husbands for them and threw them away because they figured it’d be just as easy to meet someone after college, I’d think this was a useful article.

      I don’t actually think that’s true, though. I think some people get lucky, meet someone in college who they really work with, and continue to work with them later. Great. An awful lot of people don’t. Spending a lot of time telling them “But why didn’t you settle down earlier? Don’t you know all the good men are gone? Don’t you want to have children?” is pointless. What you’re really telling them is “You should have settled for someone who wasn’t that awesome for you earlier because you’ll be settling for someone who isn’t awesome for you and has less amazing educational credentials now.”

      Which – is a point of view, I guess. But not one I’m interested in structuring my life around.

      1. I totally agree with this!! Finding a great life partner is not like picking up a gallon of milk at the store.

  11. I agree! I am also a blond lawyer with the same issue.

    Men in college were a dime a dozen and all wanted sex. Now most are married the others are losers and they still all want SEX but not marrage. FOOEY! I want a baby but NOT MEANINGLESS SEX WITH LOOSERS! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    1. Hey Nousha- you have been asked a few times to knock it off. This is not polite blog manners to promote your site like that

  13. I’ll be in Brooklyn Wednesday-Monday!
    Any New Yorkers have some good suggestions on places for dinner?
    I’m from a southern state and would like some good stuff to eat/do! Any good places to go out on a Saturday night would be helpful too

  15. I wish a couple of the outfits I saw when I was out & about in our downtown core this afternoon for lunch were April Fools jokes.

    Navy sheer blouse with only a white bra (that had tiny flowers on it) underneath – no cami.

    Black tights (not leggings, tights) with a cream wraparound miniskirt that was a couple of sizes to small so I got to see WAY more thigh than I wanted to. Thank goodness she was standing still – I don’t want to think about what people could see if she were walking. At least she was wearing fairly opaque tights.

    1. I read your first line, and my first thought was “oh no, CKB totally saw me from afar as I ran to spin class at lunch and thought my outfit was terrible!”. Then I read your descriptions. I’m safe. This time.

      Phew.

    2. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

      ha. this is the best. ever.

      i hope it’s not too late in the day for other people to see it.

  17. So glad I came back to this thread and didn’t miss Godzilla’s comment! LOL.

    After clicking through to those shoes, I had some interesting recommendations on Amazon this morning.

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