Suit of the Week: Talbots

Talbots Jackie Fit Ponte Jewel-Neck JacketFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

So I never thought I’d say this, but: I really like this pink suit. I think it looks classic but also slightly playful — and I think the pieces would work great as separates, as well. It’s nice that there are a lot of pieces to the set (two jackets, a sheath dress, an A-line skirt, and bootcut pants), and that they’re all on sale (and available in black as well). The jacket (Talbots Jackie Fit Ponte Jewel-Neck Jacket) was $169 but is now marked to $94.49, and the skirt (Ponte A-Line Skirt) was $99, now marked to $55.49.

Talbots Jackie Fit Ponte Jewel-Neck Jacket Ponte A-Line Skirt

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Comments

  1. Equity's Darling :

    At what age can I start wearing coloured suits? I feel like I like this, but it would make me look a lot older than I am….

    • Perennial Corporette topic! I’m 30 and don’t see a bright suit in my future for at least 10 years, but probably more like twenty. May just be me though.

      • I do NOT think this suit is PINK. It realley is more like MAGNENTA.

        My mother has a suit like this so mabye when I am her age I can wear it, but she is a size 12 and I am only a size 6. I HOPE I do NOT get to be a size 12 when I am her age, or I NEVER will find a guy to MARRY me. FOOEY!

        • Ellen, the KEY is to find a guy to marry you FIRST and then you can PORK UP real GOOD.

          Of course, I was a size 12 on my wedding day, so what do I know. :-)

          • Ellen often comments that a certain item posted here is too small for her even when it is AVAILABEL up to a size 12 or 14. Not that you were going to waste time taking offense from her!

          • Oh, I wasn’t taking offense. I’ve been a size 6, its very unhealthy for me! :-)

            I mostly like tweaking imaginary troll’s nose a little. Also I feel bad when no one responds to her. She tries so hard to annoy us…and we never jump to the bait. haha.

    • Always a NYer :

      I think it all depends on the color. I’m 23 and wore an aubergine suit on the interview for my current position. Suits in dark burgundy, hunter green, or aubergine I wouldn’t hesitate to wear now. The pink suit shown, I think I’d wait until I was in a higher position and my reputation was cemented. That said, either the pink blazer or skirt worn with other color pieces, I’d wear that outfit tomorrow.

    • Age is just a number, rock it if you like it.

      Though I have to say that I don’t think I would ever rock an all pink suit. This would be separates for me. I like the idea of the dress though!

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      I see your point, but I wear coloured dresses/skirts all the time, and I have a white jacket and navy jacket I love and I am def looking for coloured separates. So maybe it isn’t such a big leap from that (I’m 30)

      • Migraine Sufferer :

        I’m 34 and I so want the hutzpah to be able to pull off that suit. Most likely though if I wore it it would only trigger an anxiety attack because I would be thinking to much about what I was wearing.

      • I’m 26 and I would definitely rock that suit! Black patent heels and a silk scarf, maybe a gold cuff.

    • phillygirlruns :

      i’m 30 and my ten-year plan involves being enough of a bad a** that i can wear a pink suit and have no one think twice about it. or, if they do, it’ll be to think “oh, that’s phillygirlruns. she’s a bad a** that wears pink suits.”

    • I’m mid-thirties and I started wearing colored suits similar to the one pictured just in the last year. I have an springy orangish (peach?) one and a summery pale yellow.

  2. I’m usually not a fan of colored suits, but I do think that this is cute. That said, I’m not sure that I would really call it a suit, or, at least, I don’t think that I would wear it in a situation that called for a “suit.”

    I hate “the skirt” in a very similar color, and, while I like it a lot, it’s really hard to pair with anything in my closet. Basically black, white, and gray are the only appropriate tops I’ve found (and I don’t own very many of those at all).

  3. I just want to say that duck confit ad I mentioned earlier this week? It is still following me around.

    That is all.

    • Always a NYer :

      Remember yesterday how we discussed the atrocity that is Dan Humphrey’s hair? Can we talk about what happened to Chuck’s hair? The sides are buzzed, wtf?!

      • He’s one slip of the wrist away from a high & tight. Do not like.

        My husband asked me if they’re trying to transition him into Jimmy Darmody’s haircut from Boardwalk Empire. As though I’d know.

        • Always a NYer :

          What happened to his look from the premier episode of season five? His hair was gorgeous, just begging to be touched. Don’t judge me, it’s not my fault he looked really hot and f*ckable in that leather jacket ;)

          And for the record, Jimmy’s hair is creepy.

          • Don’t I know it. That is some of the creepiest hair that ever be creepin’.

            So, I’ve mentioned I was really late to arrive at the GG party. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I’ve been watching old episodes on Netflix instant, and compared to his season 1 look, Chuck’s current hair is definitely not his worst look ever. And it still beats Dan’s Seinfeld Mullet.

            PS do you remember Chuck’s basketball outfit? Well let me refresh your recollection: tinyurl [dot] com/85ljzha

          • Always a NYer :

            First, anything beat’s Dan’s Seinfeld mullet, even Blair’s bangs (which were atrocious).

            Second, I’m shuddering at the horror that was Chuck’s basketball outfit. That sweatband, really? I expect better from Chuck Bass.

            Third, Ed Westwick only gets hotter as the years pass. But my favorite look of his, Chuck’s s*x hair from 4×08. You know which scene I’m talking about, it involves him under the covers and Blair with a very happy look on her face.

        • okay, i admit i watch gg (ok, i love it). is anyone else getting grossed out by the blair-dan thing? was one thing when less ‘real’… can’t stand it actually happening for whatever reason. yuck.

    • Anon Canadian :

      Have you deleted your Google browsing history yet? Apparently today’s the last day.

      http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/320137

      http://arduinna.dreamwidth.org/38503.html

      It seems to mean a lot more in the US than Canada, but I still deleted mine because the whole “Big Brother” situation is kinda scary.

    • Last night on Chopped one of the secret ingredients was duck prosciutto. I of course thought of you and eek and corporate. And then got hungry.

      • That’s actually one of the better ingredients than what Ted normally has on Chopped. Gummy bears, really?

        • One of the other secret ingredients in dessert was pre-mixed cosmo mix, so I’m not sure that’s much better.

          And there was caul fat, which while awesome in theory, I really hate seeing used in practice.

        • I googled caul fat. ewwww. Some of the secret ingredients should be kept a secret.

          • Hahahaha. You know what they say about bills and sausages.

          • hahaha. A person I used to work with used to call a difficult task “making the sausage.” Uh, no, let’s not.

          • I’m a big fan of slow food and making things from scratch at home when I have the time (seriously my husband things I’m a kitchen gadget hoarder) — but homemade sausage is kind of high on my list of things I don’t really want to try to make. I’m even considering grinding my own meat, but there’s something about that next step that really squees me out.

          • I’ll be anonymous for this – we make our own sausage. We cook at home, but we don’t can or make jams or do the other type of things one might associate with sausage makers. We put on our suits and go to work…except for sausage weekend.

            It FREAKS our friends out when we have our giant sausage making weekend every year. But, having agreed the first time on the begging of my husband – a man who could survive the apocalypse – I don’t think I could ever go back. We get to pick the meats and fats we put in the sausage, and we get to make cool thinks like duck and apple sausage, and there’s no preservatives and very little salt.

            It is pretty gross. But when I read how commercial sausage is made, I figure it’s a lot less gross. Also, it’s tastes so much better and fresher it’s unbelievable. We do it with a KitchenAid and make about 40 pounds of sausage for the year.

            And finally – we get to make so many sausage jokes and puns in the week leading up to sausage weekend, the middle-schooler inside of us gets to come out.

          • Anon…i don’t know you — but can I come to your sausage party? You sound cool and also then I could learn whether I would like making sausage in a safe environment where my kitchen wouldn’t be all gross. It could be like in Mexico where they have big tamale making parties. :-)

            Or I can continue to buy the house made sausage from Whole Foods. Its expensive but its fresh. And they make it with interesting meats and stuff.

          • That’s incredible! I’ve made a lot of things from scratch (including tortellini) but never sausage. I have to say, though, that I bought the housemade sausage at Whole Foods for my Christmas day brunch casserole and it was so incredible. Everybody asked what I had put in it that was so different (it was whole wheat French bread, mushrooms, and that sausage). Yum!

          • i’m cracked up at the sound of a sausage making party.

            You should try grinding your own meat. I have the Kitchenaid attachment and it’s worth it, especially for meatballs. It’s kind of satisfying in a tension release sort of way, same as using a food processor to grate cheese And, I swear, it tastes so.much.better.

        • I love that y’all watch Chopped. I somehow seem to find myself watching it in hotel rooms on business trips and then accidentally staying up way past my bedtime.

          • Chopped is one of my alternate life fantasies. You know, the one where I am a master chef, go on that show and whup everyone else’s a$$.

            My other alternate life fantasy is the one where I have Lemon’s wardrobe. Or actually, since we are on the subject, Blair’s wardrobe would be just fine too.

          • Please tell me you would have PARTS of Lemon’s wardrobe. Or at least that you would style it differently. She has been looking cuter the last couple episodes, but sometimes that girl looks straight up cray-cray.

          • Well, to be fair, I don’t watch Hart of Dixie religiously so I don’t have full and complete knowledge of Lemon’s wardrobe. But I do like most of what I’ve seen. At least I could get access to her closet and pull out what I want.

          • I watch soooo much random stuff. Most of it isn’t regularly. I got sucked into Ice Loves Coco last weekend.

      • I heart Chopped!

        I have a running joke with my little brother that I am going to give him a Chopped Challenge sometime when we are together at our parents’. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is that I don’t actually want to eat anything made with the crazy ingredients I would put in his basket… :)

  4. AnotherLadyLawyer :

    Apologies if we’ve covered this before (still a little new!), but does anyone have a blow dryer they just die for? FWIW, I have longish messy curly hair and need some oomph for straightening.

  5. Tips on being more assertive/not conflict averse, please?

    I grew up in a chaotic home (to the extent that the few who know have asked me to write a book), so calm is paramount for me, plus I grew up in the midwest where everything was about manners. Add in that I’m short and look younger than my age, plus I don’t flaunt my credentials, so often people think I’m 18 (I’m more than a decade older) with zero experience (I’ve got a Master’s, a license, and additional misc.).

    I’m good with being the boss and with speaking my mind, but when it comes to someone getting louder or aggressive in a gathering (professional or personal) where we are of equal rank, I get quiet and often get walked on because I don’t want to be rude or inappropriate and express that what’s happening isn’t ok with me.

    I’m not assuming I’m a “special snowflake,” so how do the rest of you do it?

    • Don’t have any advice because I am, if anything, too assertive. But I just loved the “special snowflake” comment!

    • AnonInfinity :

      I have the same problem, but in a slightly different way. I’m good with people of my rank, but not good at.all. with bosses. I just get so flustered and start babbling like an idiot if questioned. Not sure how to deal with this either. Eep.

    • One thing I have noticed from watching really powerful people is there are people who get things done by being loud and aggressive and then there are those who get things done by being quieter and compelling. If you don’t trend towards the first, you may have to work on being the second.

      I also find that sometimes if you let people who are kind of aggressive work themselves into a lather and then come in with a calmer, more reasoned tone and argument — you can bring a meeting to your side more quickly. Its just hard if you feel attacked to KEEP that calm, professional vibe. Thats where I suffer. :-P

      • BTW…I should say that my mom (who is a social worker, I think I’ve mentioned) is the queen of the calm, professional voice in the face of trouble and aggressive people. I’m sure she’s developed it during the 30 years of her professional career of therapy with troubled teenagers and adults and children, all of whom have probably yelled. But when she used to take night call and talk on the phone, I could actually HEAR her voice transform into her calm “suzy social worker” voice that I now will forever associate with her professional life. I think when people are met with the calm, smooth approach, they really respond to it.

        Note, however, that when my brother brought home bad report cards, she still completely lost her mind. So…doesn’t last all the time! :-P

        • I can go into “suzy social worker” mode with those who rank below me (I’ve been told I’m a really great boss to work for by people long after I no longer work with them, so there may be a kernel of truth there) and I can assert my abilities well to a boss.

          The problem for me is with equals, whether it be a colleague at the same level or a roommate situation, I get nervous and don’t want to disrespect them but trying to respect them when they’re disrespectful ends up with them getting their way and me walking away upset because their way wasn’t actually the best way or feeling like I wasn’t heard.

          • I agree with NYer below though, the key is to be respectful but firm with co-workers.

            I like this approach “I understand what you’re saying — I hear you. But what I’m saying is this, for x, y, z reasons….” If they’re really obstinate about it and I can’t get them to agree for whatever reason and we’re really equal and there ARE superiors, I guess I would just table it for later and confer with a higher up. :-)

      • Agree with the above comment, but note that loud and overtly agressive only works if you are already in a position of power that those whom you are being aggresive towards can’t threaten. Persuasive and calm works in any situation, regardless of the power sturcture, but it is like a muscle and must be constantly worked on on a daily basis.

    • Always a NYer :

      I get more nervous around my peers rather than those of a higher rank. Growing up an only child, I think I’m more comfortable with authority and less comfortable with those my own rank. It also helps that I’m 5’11” and have mastered my poker face. I could be having a panic attack and no one would notice, expect for me and my pounding heart.

      As for tips, stand your ground. Know your position and be ready to defend it. IME people are more easily thrown by calm and collected than ranting and raving.

    • I’m like that too, AND I’m a lawyer, which, in retrospect, may not have been the greatest of life choices. I can manage in my professional life, still kind of a doormat in my personal life (especially when it comes to dating, oof).

      But you asked for advice, not to hear about my personal problems, so read this (the author does talk about the quieter way of getting things done, like TCFKAG suggests): http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Successful-Introverts-Being-Soft-Spoken-Isnt-a-Bad-Thing

      • Wow, January–thanks for linking to that. It was incredibly helpful as I’m trying to understand what I’ve been doing right, and how to work with my personality rather than against it. I’m very introverted and hate putting on a show, and yet I often “win.” I honestly have been confused as to how I did it and how to do it again.

      • AnotherLadyLawyer :

        Glad I’m not the only one who realized–upon becoming a lawyer–that my personality type may not fit being a lawyer… and I’m a litigator. Oops.

    • karenpadi :

      I am not great at conflict either. In my mind, I connect my conflict-avoidance with being a woman.

      So, when I need to stand up for myself, I literally picture myself as a man. I change my posture so I take up more space, I deepen my voice, I imagine I have whiskers (and other man bits). I act in ways I’ve seen men act, including memorizing words they use and when they interrupt.

      • karenpadi, this is amazing! Love it! I will so have to try this approach. I think I will imagine big scary mutton-chop whiskers. And perhaps a pipe.

    • AnotherLadyLawyer :

      I’m exactly the same way — good with being the boss and using my subtle, quieter method to get great results out of people on my team and overwhelmed by people on my level. Also from the Midwest and the product of chaos. It is to the point that the idea of being as assertive as others are fills me with panic! (As an aside, as a kid, I used to refuse to ask for the girl Happy Meal toy instead of the boy Happy Meal toy, all based on the same aversion to conflict/rudeness, which is obviously a lingering problem.)

      When not panicking about it, go with a mixed approach: treat it like a great skill to use and treat it like a skill you need to work on and above all else, figure out where it works for you and where it doesn’t. I can’t commit the energy and brainpower required to fix it across the board, nor do I think I want to. So I figure out the situations where it works (even with peers) and take a hard look at the places where it doesn’t. Where it doesn’t, try stepping even a smidge outside of the box, which will make an impact given your normal M.O. Just take a tiny step toward more assertive each time. I tend to wait until my assertiveness is needed for something that will reflect positively on me (a better idea, a better process, etc.) and then get up the gusto to self-promote and assert myself all in one go.

    • It took me years to figure this out as a fellow short, young-looking and naturally conflict-adverse person. But I finally thought of it not so much as asserting myself in an aggressive sense, but as being *honest* with people. Essentially, when you do not speak up for yourself (whether you are openly agreeing with a person or just staying silent in the face of unacceptable behavior) you are giving your tacit approval. So instead of trying to seem assertive in a dominant sense, I always strive to just speak up to share my opinion in any way I can. I try to “diffuse” the situation through gentle verbal cues (“That statement must be a little overbroad, don’t you think?”), body language (recoiling if someone is shouting/using aggressive body language), and trying to engage them in a thoughtful, conversational way instead of argumentative (convey that you are considering what the other person is saying, and respond calmly and appropriately). A friend once described me as having a “nice without bull-sh*t” demeanor. It’s been seriously life-changing for me; I never feel that sense of frustration for not speaking up anymore. Good luck!

  6. ugh. this model annoys me. Dear Model, you are most likely a lovely person and talented at your job, but I’ve stopped shopping at Talbots because it annoys me to look at you on the website.

    • That’s hysterical. Do you feel that way about all their models? I secretly want to turn into the older 50+something model, even though I think she’s old enough to be my mother.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      What about her annoys you? Nothing seems obvious to me. Frankly, I appreciate that she isn’t a teenager.

      • I also appreciate that she never seems to strike and frumpskanke poses. Or six year old needs to pee poses.

        However — I hate that half the time you can’t see the back of things on Talbots’ website — so I rarely order on-line from them. So I guess its a toss-up.

        • When did frumpskanke gain the trailing “e”? Makes the word look vague German. Danke, Frumpskanke.

          Okay, that just put “Domo Arigato, Mr. Frumpskano” into my head.

          (Domo.) DOMO!

          • Well…it gained the training e when it was spelled by the girl who can’t spell anything, even imaginary words, without a spellchecker. Unfortunately, frumpskank is not in my dictionary. :-)

            Also…domo arigato Mr. Frumpskano is so ridiculous it made me laugh. I think TechAnon is getting loopy.

          • Yeah, I’m not getting a d@%n thing done today.

      • I agree on all accounts. Plus, we have the same hair if the photo on this post is accurate.

        (Hopefully you don’t hate her hair)

      • SF Bay Associate :

        I guess nev’s comment bothered me, because I’m still thinking about this. I also really appreciate that the model is apparently a WOC. Far too few in advertising. That color looks great on her, and Anon @5:08, I like her hair. It’s all short and easy to take care of but still has style, for a woman who wants to look good but is way too busy to fuss with her hair. In combination with the must-be-a-booty-kicker-to-rock-a-colored-suit rule, I feel like she’s some kind of executive vice president, moving up the corporate ladder. She needs some David Yurman cuffs or bracelets for her bracelet sleeve jacket, and a designer handbag. Maybe an Hermes scarf. She’s got fancy accessories which she can wear multiple times a week for years, but her clothes are still sensibly priced suiting, like Talbots. So, i LIKE this model :).

        • I like your narrative of who the model is. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks that way. (Clearly, I spend too much time reading my Talbot’s catalog.)

      • There is a different model for Talbots who is definitely 50s plus, and while she is slim and attractive, she will frequently model suits, skirts and dresses WITHOUT pantyhose. It’s one thing if you’re young and have good skin tone or a tan and no visible veins or other discolorations. But on her it just looks like she’s undressed. As a fellow middle-ager, it reminded me how much I dislike this fashion trend toward bare legs no matter what. Young women can pull it off for the most part, but once you’re old enough for veins or whatever flaws develop on your legs, pantyhose makes them look so much better. Like icing.

        • My mom is in her sixties, doesn’t wear hose in the summer, and looks fine. Maybe you feel undressed without pantyhose, but please don’t assume that every woman over the age of 50 should be wearing them.

          • I think it depends on the condition of the person’s legs. Your mom’s legs are probably slender and have great skin tone without visible veins. But to me, there was something offputting about a winter skirt suit and pale bare legs on a 50+ year-old model, which is what I saw on this model in last winter’s Talbots catalogue.

    • Wow. Mean.

    • phillygirlruns :

      really? i guess her expression is a little smug here, but she seems totally unoffensive otherwise.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      I sort of know what you mean–I have nothing against this model, but I really dislike this Brooks Brothers model (link in reply, but she’s currently modeling the Merino Cardigan with Pointelle ruffle on their website). I can’t put my finger on it, but I find her look kind of creepy.

    • nope, don’t hate her hair, don’t hate all the models, don’t even hate her – I just feel condescended to every time I try shopping on the Talbots website so I stopped. (I think maybe it’s the photoshopping around her eyes? that makes her look smug?)

      Usually models are used to sell me on the clothes and I’m just not sold with her – but I don’t expect every model in the world to appeal to me specifically. Glad other people like her.

    • I think this is the most random thread I’ve ever read.

  7. The jacket is already sold out in pink in any event.

    Also, the description says the skirt is A line, but they’ve posed the model so it looks like a pencil skirt. I find A lines kind of frumpy for the most part, so I’d probably be disappointed in the cut. I do like the jacket and the sheath dress, though.

    Are sale items at Talbots final sale?

    • Just found the answer to my own question on the Talbots website. All sale items are non-exchangeable and non-returnable. That’s a deal breaker for me.

      • Ew. This must be a new policy (or relatively new – I haven’t bought from Talbots in a year). I used to be able to purchase sale items through the catalogue or on-line and then bring them back to the store for credit or an exchange if they didn’t fit. This “new” policy really stinks and I hope it cuts into their sales – teach them a lesson. Not too long ago I read that stores are adopting more restrictive return policies, so watch out.

      • This is not quite true. From Talbots’ website:

        Yes. As a company known for its quality, we want you to be completely satisfied. If for any reason you are not happy with your purchase, Talbots will accept returns and exchanges of unworn, unwashed merchandise with a valid receipt within 90 days of purchase, unless defective. If you do not have a receipt, but the merchandise is still ticketed and returned within 90 days of purchase, a merchandise credit will be issued for the current selling price, including all applicable discounts and promotions. Final Sale merchandise cannot be returned or exchanged. Valid identification is required for returns and exchanges made without a receipt. Talbots stores cannot accept merchandise purchased at Talbots Outlet stores.

        Only the Final Sale merchandise cannot be returned. The items that are Final Sale are marked that way on the sales page.

  8. phillygirlruns :

    first world problems: i’ve recently lost enough weight that the majority of my work wardrobe doesn’t fit. i bought four new colorful sweaters with the 20% j.crew sale last week and was looking forward to wearing one today – it’s citron and i planned out a great outfit incorporating a plum/aubergine skirt and a darker gray blazer with a subtle purple windowpane. it was fantastic, except that my skirt was several sizes too big and looked dumpy. i replaced it with a gray skirt (which still doesn’t fit, but is wearable) and black blazer, and i just don’t feel as cute. womp womp womp. losing weight is expensive, yo.

    • I had a sort of similar experience, except it was that all my clothes were at the dry cleaners. Well not all of them…just all of them that I wanted to wear. Including all my pants and its snowing here today!

      But good job on the weight loss. I’d sort the clothes by “what might I be able to get tailored” and “what definitely can’t be tailored but is nice” and “what can’t be tailored and isn’t so nice” and the second category I’d consign and the third category I’d donate to the Goodwill. :-)

      • phillygirlruns :

        i’ve been slowly pecking away at that job – i have a pile of pants to be hemmed and taken in, and a far larger pile of stuff that’s beyond help. on the plus side, it’s also helped me get rid of things that just don’t work for me – like my massive collection of polo shirts. i went through a phase where i bought every color of RL polo i could find at marshall’s, but they just don’t look good on me, whether i’m puffy or not-so-puffy. i’m hoping i get about $5 each at buffalo exchange for those, since that will buy me The Skirt in at least one fun new color.

      • This snow is depressing me. I knew it was coming and dressed accordingly: all gray and black. I love all the talk of pretty color outfits, but I feel weird wearing them unless the weather matches.

      • Anonymous :

        Speaking of dry cleaners, the last three times I’ve taken suits and sweaters in, they’ve all come back 1-2 sizes smaller. I’ve now switched to DIY with Laundress products, but I do have a pile of cheap things that have stretched out or are from my pre-weight loss days that I plan to take into the dry cleaner for a good shrinking. It’s cheaper than tailoring ;)

    • I empathize — dealing with the same thing here. Definitely a nice problem to have, in that I’m glad to be more fit, but it’s getting seriously expensive. I just took 6 pairs of pants to the tailor on Monday, and when I pick them up I’m going to have to come up with $240 (they are all getting taken in at the waist/seat and also getting hemmed — I didn’t get shorter; I’d just never taken them in after I first bought these).

    • Barrister in the Bayou :

      I’ve had pretty good luck shopping at outlets (when I gained weight and couldn’t fit into some of my wardrobe – I am now in the process of losing the weight I carried for about a year). I know some people have quality concerns when it comes to outlets, but they are really good for basics, especially when they have coupons and sales. I’ve even found pants at Banana for $20-30 on good days.

    • Agree. I’ve lost 40 lbs since August (yea, WW) so I’m down from a 22 to a 16 in most hings. So, yeah, most of what I owned doesn’t fit. I’m slowly building a new wardrobe. $$$$

  9. I don’t love this suit. It looks like something Tom Cruise would pick out for Katie Holmes. *shudder*

  10. Frequent lurker here. This morning’s post from the woman who is unsure about her engagement and whether she should call off the wedding made me want to bring up an issue here.

    I am in my early 20s and have been dating my BF for several years (we met in college). When I think about taking the relationship to the next level (moving in together / heading towards marriage), I feel really unready for this, and I am trying to figure out if it is to do with where I am in my life or if it is because of issues with the relationship. Also, as an aside, we have discussed the future from time to time and he seems hesitant to take things to the next level now but seems confident that he ultimately wants to do so.

    In a lot of ways, our relationship is exactly what I am looking for – we have been very supportive of each other (through some difficult times for both of us), rarely fight and are reasonably good at talking through any issues, get along with each other’s families, have a lot of fun together. If we were to get more serious with each other, I think we could do a good job of working towards mutual goals together. However, I worry that we may have trouble agreeing on what those goals are without a high level of comprimise, and I’ve had trouble getting past this worry. Some goals I think we could agree on – like children, where to live, etc. but on the smaller day-to-day what kind of household to run, how to manage finances, etc. I don’t see us wanting the same things.

    Of course, we are both young and haven’t been out of college for long – so our own individual approaches on these day-to-day items may change – which makes it feel like it is not a dealbreaker at this point. On the other hand, I wonder, is it a red flag that I am concerned about comprimsing? (ie, should you be happy to comprimise with someone who is “the one”?) Also, I wonder if not wanting to comprimise is just a symptom of not being ready to settle down yet? (I definitely am not – I do not want to get married until late 20s or perhaps even 30s). This whole situation is further complicated by the fact that we are going to be long distance soon – for an indefinite period, until one of us moves to be where the other one is – which makes the wait-and-see option a lot less viable.

    Any thoughts from corporettes who have been in similar situations would be much appreciated.

    • Hm. I’ll give my perspective, which is of course based only in my experience – as background info, I’m in my early 20s and met Mr. nev in college. We married two years ago after dating for three years.

      In my experience, “day-to-day” things like what kind of a household to run and how to manage finances are every bit as important as the “big things,” because they affect you EVERY DAY. It was good for me to get married young because we could decide on some of this stuff together, without having already been set in our ways. But it only worked to decide together because we already basically agreed on a lot, even (especially?) the “little” things.

      I’ve wrestled a lot with compromise – what is “compromise” and what is “settling?” That’s definitely something you have to do some soul-searching on. But there are compromises I’ve made for Mr. nev that I would make for no one else, and happily.

      I also did not want to get married young, if at all. And while I sometimes wish I’d been single longer, I’ve done my mourning for those closed doors. I decided I’d rather be with Mr. nev. I was suddenly ready-enough to “settle down” with him when I didn’t think I’d be ready for years and years. :-)

      Something that helped in my situation is that Mr. nev was absolutely clear that he wanted to be with me/marry me. It sounds like your BF is not quite there yet. That would make me more hesitant about moving forward with him. And I def. would not move in order to be with him unless there was marriage on the table (other corporettes would/have, which is fine – I just wouldn’t.)

      So… don’t be afraid of the “wrestle” and the uncertainty. Whatever you choose, you get one set of opportunities and lose another. Being unsure and conflicted is not in itself a problem. But I would be concerned that 1) he doesn’t want to move forward right now, and 2) you’re not that excited about it either – in terms of not wanting to compromise etc.

    • I’m around your age and was in what sounds like a relatively similar situation. I dated a guy from my junior year of high school until right before my senior year of college. My previous relationship sounds a lot like the situation you’re currently in. We got along great, had a blast together, and were very supportive and caring towards each other. We went to different colleges and were about an hour apart while we were in school and survived that easily.We had a very mature relationship for two people so young, were together for 5 mostly great years and were planning to move in together and get married.

      Except the tiny little problem that I couldn’t imagine myself with him down the road. I would picture my wedding day years from now (I was like you in that I did not want to be married young) and it felt weird to imagine him as the groom. I would picture my future and seeing him in it felt off to me. I could not comfortably imagine us having an adult life together. However, I told myself that was because I was young and I wasn’t ready for those things anyway, so of course it felt strange, and wasn’t he great to me and didn’t I love him, and weren’t those the important things?

      Three weeks before we were supposed to move in together, something came to light in our relationship (something along the lines of “deal-breaker” territory – no, he didn’t cheat on me) and it was suddenly so obvious to me that our relationship was over. I broke up with him and immediately felt the biggest weight off of my shoulders. There was a sense of loss, of course, but it was overshadowed by this immense feeling of relief.

      I spent almost two glorious (I can say ‘glorious’ in retrospect, but to honest, they were some of the hardest years of my life) years of my life figuring out who I was after that relationship ended. I dated some, focused on my career, made new friends, and tried new hobbies. Even my personal style changed. It was like until we broke up, I had been waiting to become the person I wanted to be, because if I had changed with him, we would have outgrown each other. While that time was rough and scary and sad at times, it was absolutely the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

      Now I’ve been in an awesome relationship for the last year and I can’t wait to marry my new boyfriend! There’s this calm, quiet, peaceful feeling of “knowing” that I’m with the right person and in the right relationship that fits with who I really am. I am grateful every single day that that awful thing happened between my ex and I, because it gave me the courage to end it. It’s not because he’s a bad guy; he’s actually great, and I wish him every success and happiness in the world and I am so thankful for all of the things he taught me. But he and I were not right for each other, and I hate the idea that I would have sacrified or never discovered the things that are so “me” in order to “fit into” our relationship.

      And…I just wrote the equivalent of a Corporette novel. Basically, what you want and who you are changes so much when you’re our age (and probably in the years after as well, but especially at our age). Being single for those two years in my early twenties gave me the freedom to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of my life and out of a serious relationship, which in turn let me figure out what I was willing to compromise on and what I wasn’t.

    • RelationshipsAnon :

      Every relationship is different, and the relationship you have right now doesn’t have to be your forever-wonderful-totally-marriage-heading relationship, as long as you’re both happy and satisfied in the present. But you posting this makes it seem like maybe you’re not satisfied. I’m not sure whether your worrying is just a mad planning bug (I get that too! Sometimes I suddenly need a 10-year plan for my life!) or if you have real concerns.

      Either way, long distance will help you sort these things out. I was long-distance with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and it made me sure that I wanted us to be together for the long-term. We started being long distance with no end date in mind, but after about 8 months we had a Big Talk and decided that he should apply to graduate programs in my city and we’d move back in together. I had a few sleepless nights before I brought up that topic, thinking that if he said no then we weren’t meant to be together and we’d have to break up. But luckily he was feeling the same way as I was and it has worked out well for us since then.

      I think talking about this is important, and discussing your feelings with him (and making sure he gives you indications of where his head is too!). You’re also both young, and a year apart might change one or both of you. So maybe just keep working on your relationship and see how things go?

      Whatever happens, good luck! We’re rooting for you!

    • Finances are a big deal – I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me this. If you can’t agree or compromise, then I would think a lot about your future because disagreeing on finances seeps into every aspect of a relationship (in my experience). Until you figure out where you want to go, I would also caution against merging any sort of financial accounts because it is a heck of a lot harder to separate/close them than set them up.

      I don’t know the specifics of what you mean about compromising about finances (is there any middle ground?), but yes, generally, this is a red flag.

    • Compromise is a major part of marriage – if you don’t want to compromise for him it probably means you are not confident that he would make the same compromises for you or else you that don’t care deeply enough for him to make such compromises. No judgement on either, it might just be that he is not the life partner for you. Bringing up topics like how you would run your household together, who would look after children, do the cooking, how much you would spend on groceries etc., might clarify your position.

      • Seattleite :

        Don’t compromise on your values. You want to be with someone who shares your values – the compromising should be about how you implement those shared values in your day-to-day life.

    • Thanks so much to all of you who responded. It definitely gave me some points to think about as I’m trying to evaluate this situation. I think long distance will force us to discuss these issues and really get comfortable with them – or decide that we can’t. And I think either outcome would be positive for both of us in the long run.

  11. SheWhoBrokeHerLeg :

    Phillygirlruns,
    Consign your big clothes! Bigger sizes sell better at consignment for some reason, and you can fund some new pieces. I lost about 30 lbs a few years ago and bought two pairs of pants (gap perfect trousers) and two skirts from New York and Company that were around $30 each that I wore in my wardrobe transition. They were cheap and it really helped my sanity and pocketbook to just wear the same things a lot for a few months so that I could save my shopping budget for a couple of months and have a little windfall when I got to my goal size.
    You go, girl!

  12. I don’t know if we have any vets here, but I’m kind of worried about my kitty. He’s about 2.5 years old and indoor/outdoor (mostly indoor but LOVES the outdoor) Just the day before yesterday I noticed he has a golf ball sized swelling on his back just to the left of his spine. It looks like he has a very small wound on it, like maybe he brushed a nail (he likes hiding under the bed) but not nearly enough trauma to explain the huge swelling. I also saw the completely outdoor cat that lives at our house smack him on the back in approximately the same position at one point, but that can’t cause a huge swelling, can it? I just don’t know what to do. My other and past cats indoor or outdoor have never had anything like this. My SO says to put hydrogen peroxide on it to wash it out and leave him be for a while. I’m going to be gone this weekend though and I’d hate to leave him like this.

    It’s a hard swelling, not like a pus swelling. He doesn’t seem to be in any distress even when I’m cleaning it out, I can touch it without bothering him, but if I poke it hard he gets a little annoyed.

    I think I just need to take him to the vet, but I don’t have one here!

    • He hides under the SHED not the bed, thus my thought of a nail.

      • Alright, as I was typing this I realized how stupid it was. I’m worried, this is not normal. I just made an appointment for him to be seen tomorrow. I just have to figure out how to deal with work now.

        • And I called the humane society which has great reviews on google and asked them to either get him in soon or recommend a vet since I’m new to the area and they got him in tomorrow.

          *Putting on my big girl panties*

          • Good luck with your kitty! And no, you’re not stupid, you just want to spare your kitty an unpleasant (do any kitties ever find vet visits pleasant?) visit to the vet if it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

            The smack from the other cat might have led to an infection, who knows, but yeah, worth getting checked out.

    • karenpadi :

      I’m glad you are taking him to the vet. Cats can hide a lot of pain. I know how you feel, I hate taking my cats to the vet and they can’t stand being there. Many non-cat owners don’t realize that it’s kind of a big deal to remove a cat from her/his territory for even a few hours.

      • Yeah, I have to admit I kind of tend to be an avoider (case in point, I’m about 1 year overdue for my own annual physical, I know, I know!), and I realized as I was posting this that what I really wanted people to say was “no, don’t worry, he’ll be fine!” But in a way that was actually backed up with evidence (unlike my SO’s “whatever, it’s a cat”), so that I didn’t have to worry about OR deal with the situation. I realize, however, that nobody can diagnose him without seeing him, which means VET. Also, I’m not going to be convinced by wonderful anonymous helpful advice unless (as I am currently avidly hoping for) I get home and there is no lump or other issues.

        He does really hate the vet though. He’s pretty young so he hasn’t been a lot yet, but so far every time he’s managed to defecate in the carrier, yowl like his world is ending, and generally make riding with him completely miserable. The last time he was in a car though he was better, though that may have been because his siblings were there so he wasn’t quite as stressed. (And he didn’t go to the vet, we moved.)

        • PS other cat lovers, have you ever HEARD of this!!

          http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/parasites/f/FAQ_cuterebra.htm

          This link alone gives credence to the advice to never try to diagnose something via the google machine. It’s about the Cuterebra Fly which lays its eggs in a place that attaches to small mammals fur, when the eggs hatch they crawl into the mammal usually via the nose or mouth and set up shop creating a large firm lump that moves(!) and creating a small hole in the skin so they can breathe. After a while, they “hatch” again, crawl out of the animal, and fly away, usually not leaving permanent harm to the host. WTF!?!?!? I have never heard of such a thing.

          (Also, that exactly describes the lump on my boy. Though it appears these flys are mostly east of the Mississippi and we’re clearly not.)

          EW!

          • A friend’s cat had one of these. He described it in utterly disgusting detail. He did get veterinary treatment for the cat, who is now fine! And,yes, we live east of the Mississippi, if only by about 15 miles.

    • In search of Bunkster's Bark :

      This sounds like an abcess. Cats tend to heal from the outside in, concealing a pocket of infection inside. And as others have said, cats will be very stoic about pain. Don’t leave him for the weekend – when these things go bad, they go bad fast.

      Good luck – let us know how it goes.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Good luck with your kitty! I’m surprised to hear that cats tend to hide pain. My little boy is a huge cry baby. He plops down in front of me and lets out howling meows when he so much as breaks a nail. He had crystals in his urine recently (took him to the vet, he’s fine now) and dear god, I thought my neighbors were going to report me to the ASPCA. He sounded like he was being tortured day and night. I felt so badly, I think he gained 5 lbs from all the tuna I gave him.

      • I hope you realize just how excruciating uniary tract problems are for male cats, and how quickly they can lead to kidney failure and death. Have you not ever had a severe UTI?

        My cat’s last experience with this required an overnight at the emergency vet and two catheterizations. It killed a friend’s cat. My parent’s cat had to have surgery to cut off his penis because of recurring UTIs.

        So your cat isn’t being a cry baby. Cats are very stoic. For them to show pain, it must be incredibly severe.

    • It just sounds like an abscess, which must be taken care of by the vet. Basically the other cat probably cat him with a claw, and it creates a really germy puncture wound.

      The vet will use a local and drain the wound, which may continue to drain while you treat with antibiotics. If you let it get too bad, they may have to insert a drainage tube, which will cost you more and is gross.

      Ifyou don’t fix the problem now, it could possibly lead to a blood infection and cause serious injury or death. So get the kitty to the vet, stat and start keeping him in the house. This kind of stuff is why outdoor kitties’ lives are shorter.

  13. I’d say your instinct to take him to the vet is right on. You can find one and search for reviews online easily enough. You’ll feel better and your kitty will thank you for it if you handle it before you go away. Good luck!

  14. @ Another Sarah :

    How did your talk Monday about etiquette abroad go?

  15. Just in case anyone is working late and is in need of a laugh, I finally have a video of my cat cleaning his kitty litter covered paws in the dog bowl. The dog even makes a cameo and the cat pauses, then continues the bath, and struts right passed the dog when done. I didn’t get him “splashing like a toddler” like he sometimes does, but it is still funny to watch. I’ll post it again tomorrow for everyone else. Video is hosted on youtube. Here is the short link:

    http://tinyurl.com/catbathindogbowl

  16. I have this suit in black (notched-collar jacket and modern cut pant) and it is quite possibly the most comfortable work piece I own. It feels like PJ’s. To top it off – no wrinkles. I just bought it in gray.

  17. Weird Situation :

    So since everyone else is hijacking, I don’t feel as bad for this one….here is the situation:
    I have been at my new firm for a few months. I really like it! It is a mid-sized firm, with comparable salary and a six month probation period, after which I qualify for the 401k and health benefits, etc. Before I started with this firm, I had been looking for work for a few months and sent out countless resumes.

    Today, in the mail, I got an invitation to interview for a state agency. I’ve been on that agency’s list for almost 3 years, and I have finally moved to the top at the same time there is an opening. I don’t even have the job yet, but it would mean moving from private practice to government work (my state’s department of justice). The salary is exactly the same, but the benefits, as you can imagine, are phenomenal. There is nothing wrong with my current employer, but I do want to have kids soon, and I am interested in politics down the line (city council), or maybe even pro-tem work in the future. The division would basically be like working for US Fish & Game….in natural resources and conservation, but for the government!

    This is scary for me, because although I love my current firm, they are a private employer and could lay me off at any time. I have a bit of a phobia about that, because it has happened to me before. Government jobs (at least here) have a bit more stability, and, from my perspective, are more family friendly. If, hypothetically, I were to be offered the job, am I going to look totally unprofessional for leaving? I would, of course, give 2 weeks notice at a minimum and help them find a replacement.

    Do any government lawyers want to weigh in? Is the grass really greener? Or am I burning the barn with me in it?

    • Government is just like the private sector in that some jobs are great and some are horrid. There’s no harm in interviewing and seeing if it’s a good fit for you. I had a coworker who made a similar decision and she was ultimately happy to leave the firm. That said, if you want to work in politics, I don’t see why you’d need to switch to government. At least in my city, the people who seem to be the most connected are at law firms that do lobbying, administrative law, etc. If you have that opportunity at your current firm, you may be better off staying there.

      • ETA- in my state we have pretty strict ethics requirements for government attorneys. It makes it pretty hard (if not impossible) to run for office. We have an assistant who is on her city council and even that raised a lot of eyebrows.

    • Not sure if this is too late but here’s what I would say: salary is not an abstract no., so you may actually end up getting paid more in gov’t because you are working less (e.g., 9-5 30 vs. 9 30 – 7 on average). However, your growth potential in the future, as far as salary is concerned, does have a definite ceiling and is not always tied to your personal abilities but to things like pay grades and legislative funding of raises, which, long term, does limit your earning potential.

      Also, since you mentioned kids, while gov’t is def. great for having a family (your hrs. are mostly stable, you get all those non-holiday holidays off…) you don’t usually get paid maternity leave the way you do at most larger firms so while you can often take a significant time off, it’s on your own dime (though you can use sick leave/vacation time that’s accumulated).

      I don’t think it hurts to interview. Just be discreet.

      • Agree with AIMS here. Also, consider what opportunities there are for advancement in the govt job. Even if they were likely to be available to you, would they entail more bureaucratic tasks, or would you get to keep doing the things you like about the job?

        • Also, how do you feel about state shutdown days? In the state where I worked, I am pretty sure attorneys in the AG’s office were not considered essential and got furloughed.

    • I went from gov to private. Agree with other comments. Will add: currently pregnant, and miserable because of the lack of leave. It is a terrible situation to try to go through a difficult pregnancy without taking any days off because you need to save your 10 measly days of leave for maternity leave (topping off the partial disability pay). I cried half the afternoon yesterday both in a stall in the work bathroom and at home. I love my job way more than my gov’t jobs, but sadly the last 6 months I haven’t been able to enjoy either job or pregnancy because of the grind and frustration. If you are gearing up for kids, government is a better place to be just on hours/leave, not even touching security including pregnancy discrimination. There are some super busy gov’t jobs too though, something to be aware of. For sure go to the interview and learn more, that’s a no brainer.

  18. My morning’s off to a great start. Spent almost an hour stuck underground between Broadway and South Station. And then I slipped and fell outside South Station.

    This is on top of the fact that it’s month-end. The first few days of every month are crazy-busy for me.

    • Are you ok? I’m always afraid that I’ll slip and fall and ruin tights or pants or whatever then not be able to recover from it for the rest of the day. But I hope you’re not hurt!

      • Yeah, thanks. Because of the weather, I wore cords and I didn’t land on my a$$. I came down on my knee. Unfortunately, my knee was already sore from skiing last week.

  19. I posted yesterday about depression and so many of you ladies gave me some great advice – thanks!

    I am now looking for someone to work with but since I live in a very rural community and I have a strong preference for working with a woman I don’t have a lot of choices. Are there any other options to consider? I am only looking within 30 minutes of my home because I am assuming I well need to have my visits during the week after work. Do I just need to pick someone and hope for the best? This is my health so I want to find someone I really click with but that may not be possible.

  20. Any suggestions on helping a not very sporty kid become sportier? She’s super skinny and frail and I don’t want her to grow up to be the last kid picked in gym, etc. Would elaborate more but I hear my name being called by my colleague…

    • I have a problem of a sporty young girl over time becoming an un-sporty teenager. When she was under 5, we signed her up for swim lessons, T-ball, baby soccer (not all at the same time, of course), and then later on basketball, hoping that she would really like one or more and pursue it. BTW, even for the unsporty, swim lessons are a MUST. Do that if you do nothing else. Two many young kids die needlessly because they fall or get pushed into a pool or canal (actually happened) and can’t swim. Swimming is great exercise, so it’s a great sport on all levels. She also took dance lessons because she wanted to. Anyway, over the years the sports dropped off one by one, for various reasons, until all that was left was basketball (she is tall). Hubby had visions of women’s college basketball teams and pushed just a little too hard, and she dropped that, too. Turns out that her real love is music, and basketball interfered with school musical season. Plus, as a very buxom teenager, there were physical activities that turned out to be difficult for her because of the “bounce.” All I can suggest is try her in everything you can get to and see what she likes. More importantly, do physical things with her – walk, bike, rollerskate, ice skate,. hit a softball in the back yard. Good Luck – I still wish my daughter was an athlete, but as they say on the College Confidential website, “love the kid on the couch, not the one you wish you had.”

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