Thursday’s TPS Report: Sadie Shirt

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Thomas Pink Sadie ShirtThomas Pink has a lot of women’s shirts on sale, with many in the under-$100 category. I like this stretch cotton blouse with a flattering twist detail — it’s also available in navy, as well as pink. Was $195, now marked to $89, sizes 4-22. Sadie Shirt

-------Sponsored Links--------

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]


Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Pin on Pinterest


  1. Cornellian :

    I put in an offer on an apartment yesterday and am now getting nothing done waiting to hear back.


    If my offer is accepted, my mortgage should come through 30 days after closing, so I may be looking at moving in the second half of July. Does anyone have any recommendations for intra-NYC moving? I only need to move ten blocks.


    • Merabella :

      I recently moved with close quarters myself. Not in NYC, but I used Kat’s moving method, and it really made things go smoothly.

      If you do a google search for this site and “packing and moving tips for type a” you should find the post.

      And my #1 suggestion is to call up your local Barnes & Noble and ask them to set aside boxes for you. They get a ton of shipments a day, and seriously are the best boxes for moving I have ever used. They are not too big or too small, and they are built for hauling books, so they are super durable.

      • Cornellian :

        Thanks, good advice. I’m actually considering using this company’s reusable boxes: juggle box moving . c*m. only 99 or 129 dollars, and all the reviews are raving. having sturdy boxes I don’t have to build, break down, recycle or give myself hundreds of papercuts with sounds awesome.

        • I rented reusable boxes like this for my last move and it was THE BEST. amazing not having to assemble cardboard, suffer through inevitable cardboard failures, and then get rid of all of it at the end.

    • Fingers crossed! You can also get free boxes and liquor stores and grocery stores I usually just stop in and pick them up regularly for a few weeks before the move. I used Moishes movers and had a good experience. It’s not the cheapest, at all, but was worth the price for me.

    • I’ve used OZ movers in NYC twice with great results. They give you a certain number of boxes free, and I second the advice to get extra boxes at B&N. They’re very sturdy as they are made for heavy books – no issues with papercuts or anything else.

    • Different a : is the best and once you submit your move, different movers bid on your job and you can select from them. There’s a ton of reviews so there is incentive for them to do a good job! I wait until my choice movers bid and the first ones to bid aren’t always the cheapest/best

    • Fingers crossed for you!

      My sister has used Rabbit Movers several times for short moves within NYC and has had good experiences with them.

    • I used Oz Movers last year. They had been recommended to me by my cousin. I was very pregnant and my husband very busy, so they did most of the packing for us. We had received quotes from a few different places and they were the best price among the companies that turned out to be reputable. Yelp reviews were helpful in figuring out who was not reputable.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      I’ve used DUMBO Moving twice–they’re good (though showed up late last time, but I was moving on a very popular moving day, and they called and warned me, so I was ok with it) and the cheaper of the legit companies I found. Liquor stores have the best free boxes since they’re sturdy.

  2. Dear Hallmark,

    Neither my father nor my step-father wears a tie, watches sports, or plays golf. Because both men are in their 60s/70s, they no longer drink beer because it makes them fat. They are aging hippies who wear Hawaiian shirts, play guitar, and write music (yes, my mother has a ‘type’). Based on your card selection, I think you’ve forgotten that there are lots of Gen X/Yers with aging Boomer dads. It’s not the 1960s anymore. Just FYI.

    Not Sally Draper

    • Try independent stores – there are a lot of fathers day/guitar cards at the one I go to.

    • Also try Papyrus. It’ll still be MOSTLY golfing sports and ties but they usually have fewer words on the cards so they can be more flexible if you find the one that has a workable illustration.

      • Yeah I found some dog-themed ones from Papyrus and that’s what I’m going with. But seriously, how many fathers really truly wear ties every day and love golf? A handful, sure, but not 90% of them, which is what you’d think if you just looked at the father’s day card displays.

        • I also selected one of the dog-themed cards. I got the one with dogs dressed up like bees. Hallmark’s language is always way too emotional for my family.

    • Amen! Also my dad does not enjoy grilling, power tools, or watching television in a recliner.

    • So funny! It does make it hard to buy gifts though.

    • It might be too late now, but last year I made Father’s Day cards on Treat (it is part of shutterfly I think) and my dad and my husband loved them! It was cheaper than most of the cards at the store too.

    • TBK/Not Sally Draper — oy, can you imagine the father’s day card Sally Draper would give her father?!?!!?

      • This is SO funny! My dad said that I was alot like Sally Draper as a child, and more like January Jones now. I wonder if she is goieng to become a lawyer like me? I sent my dad a very nice Fathers’ Day card last week, and gave him a VERY nice box of golf ball’s b/c he is alway’s looseing them on the course. For the hive, there is actualy a golf place just off of Park Avenue in the 50’s that has a GREAT selection of sporting good’s.

        Dad is comeing back into the City Friday, and we are goeing back to LI together on the LIRR. YAY! I get my own PORTER for the train. I hope I do NOT have to tip him and I know that he will NOT pinch my tuchus. He stopped doieng that when I was 9. Thank GOD! If onley peeople on the subway’s and busses would keep their filthy hand’s to themselves! This is becomeing a REAL problem, and I am VERY suprised more peeople in the HIVE have NOT complained. FOOEY!

    • I’m giggling too but I hear ya – my dad does not fit into any of the stereotypes – he’s not retired, not handy, works constantly still and is not my ATM. Also I’m not 5 so the cute ones are a little too young for me.

      I do love Papyrus though!

    • Eh, my dad doesn’t like any of that stuff either – I just got him a card with a New Yorker cartoon on it that I thought he’d think was funny. It’s blank inside.

      It’s also his birthday next month so if anyone has any great Father’s Day gift ideas can you share because I am stumped. He’s so hard to buy for!

      • i think it is interesting to look at father’s day card content and compare it to mother’s day card content. based on the cards, it seems like we collectively expect less from our dads. mom cards are so much more sentimental and emotional and dad cards are really much more focused on dad’s hobbies: grilling, fishing, golf, beer. i find it fascinating. smh, hallmark!

    • If your dad has grandkids, I recommend an awesome book called “Grandfather Remembers,” which is sort of an autobiography/memory book they can complete. My grandmothers each did the grandmother version of it for us when my brother and I were teenagers, and they are SUCH a gift, especially for my younger cousins who never really got to know them before they passed away. I’ll link in the reply to the one I got for my dad, but Amazon has lots of others. (There are also “Dad” versions, if your dad doesn’t have grandkids.)

    • And another thing :

      Also, maybe a few cards with “Papa” on them? Or at least ones that don’t say “Dad” or “Daddy”? And something in between sappy and condescending?

      (Best card was one joking about testing the oil in a car “still brown and icky”, since that was something he taught me to do…)

    • +1

  3. Anyone have recommendations for great nursing clothes & bras? With my first, I stuck with t-shirts and very functional nursing bras for months. I think it only added to the feeling of being frumpy and not myself post-baby. This time, I would like to be able to throw on a cute top that works with nursing and a pretty nursing bra (do they exist?) and feel good about my clothes. Any suggestions? Any brands that anyone loved or hated?

    • I have two friends who have recommended Milk Nursingwear, although I have not bought anything from them myself! The only pretty nursing bras I found were super uncomfortable, so I stuck with the stretchy Medela ones or just a nursing cami, but I hope that someone has some suggestions!

      • I got a stretchy Medela tank in purple, that I really like. In fact, I’m still wearing it around the house, although I stopped nursing 4 months ago and am well-past back into pre-baby clothes.

        • I finally retired my nursing camis but I am absolutely still wearing the maternity camis. My child is almost 16 months and I stopped nursing in January. I have a long torso and it is so great to finally have a cami that’s long enough!!

    • I like the Belabumbum nursing bras. They are soft, pretty and non-utilitarian looking. Sizing runs a bit small.

    • Diana Barry :

      I hear you…I have been wearing nursing bras/tops for a year. I like the Anita ones – they are super comfortable especially with bigger cup sizes. The Elle Macpherson ones and the Le Mystere ones are prettier, but not as comfortable for me. I like breakout bras dot com for a HUGE selection of nursing bras and lots of sizes.

      There are a lot of loose tops out there now that can be pulled down over your b**b (my preference with long torso). Then just readjust neckline when done. They look cuter than nursing tops, usually:

      I have several of the Gap “crossover nursing tees” – they are very comfortable. One thing I found was that as I shrank postpartum, the size that fit me at 2 months post became too big at 6 months post, so that contributes to the feeling of frumpiness. At that point I just bought some more in a smaller size. :)

    • Thanks!! I will check these out. I will report back on what I find, in case anyone else out there is interested.

      On a side note: I have definately hit that point in my pregnancy where people feel the need to comment: “Wow. You’re ready to pop.” “You must be ready to go any day.” No, no I am not. I have two more months and that filter that should keep me from telling you to shut it is gone. I am going to put a sign on my desk that says: “I’m due August 15. No, we’re not finding out the sex. And no that doesn’t drive me crazy. I feel fine, thanks for asking.”

      • This comment is a helpful reminder to me not to say trite pregnancy-related things to my coworker across the hall. It’s amazing how the memories of annoying things people said during my own pregnancies seem to have disappeared over the years.

      • Anonymous :

        I’m due August 23 and could not agree more.

      • Late to the thread, but I’ve been nursing for 8 months now and my favorite cami is from Ripe maternity. Got it on amazon. I bought some things from Milk and was really disappointed with the quality (stretched out and pilled). Never found any bras I liked, and now just wear nursing camis on weekends and pump during the week, so wear regular bras then anyway.

    • Blonde lawyer :

      Never had kids but accidentally bought one very cute nursing bra from target (Gillian omalley) and almost accidentally bought 3 online from Nordstom this weekend. I’m a bigger cup size so when I shopped online I sorted by cup size and put all the ones I thought were cute or sexy and not grandma ish in my cart. All 3 were nursing bras. I even said to my husband, why are all the sexy bras in my size nursing bras!!! Is the difference just the detachable strap? If so, I might buy them anyway!

    • Mighty Mouse :

      Check out herroom (dot com). Making the commitment for nicer nursing bras for Baby #2. I lived in a very comfy but very ugly nursing bra w #1 and ITA w the contribution to post-partum frumpiness. And congrats, btw!

  4. SAlit-a-gator :

    This profile of Nina Gussak from Pepper Hamilton was a good read:

    I’m intrigued by her comment that women don’t ask for business, and that she has to do 20 “asks” before she gets something in the door. If any of you have experience bringing in clients, did you “ask” for the business? My impression was always that you get well at your craft, get involved in the community, and get clients by cultivating relationships. Does the hive agree about the “ask”? I’m extroverted enough to do it, just not sure if this is something that is part of the game.

    • Every time I’ve been given advice by rainmakers, they say the same thing: You have to “ask” for the business. It’s either true, or a cliche repeated by people who don’t actually want to help people compete with them but want to appear as if they do. I’m not in a position to know yet (and may never be).

      • So how do you ask? Is it a matter of asking for a specific piece of business? And if so, how do you find out about that? Or is it more like, “Next time you have something we can help with . . . “?

        • Oops, that was me.

        • It may be easier to think of it as staying on the client’s radar so that one day, when they do have work, you’ll be in a position to ask for and get it. 20 asks sounds entirely reasonable to me – I have cultivated some relationships for years before getting any paid work.

          To get on the radar, it helps to keep in touch with developments in your practice area – who’s coming, who’s going, who’s thinking about which deal, who’s changing strategic direction or dealing with different market or regulatory conditions – and to be pro-active with this information. For example, if your client is venturing into something where your firm’s expertise is respected, call and ask if you can offer that insight in a session at time and place of their choosing. Or perhaps you can call in a favour from someone who can share insight informally, over lunch or a coffee, with you and your client ? Same thing if your client has a new boss, new job, new project and so on. It can also be as simple as spotting a good and relevant article or news item, and emailing it with a note to say ‘maybe interesting for you’.

          I have seen folks approach sales/ relationship/ biz development roles with very different personal styles over the years but with the successful ones, it really seems to come down to persistence and knuckling down to the basic discipline of constantly looking for opportunities to get on/ stay on the client radar.

    • I have a very small (and mostly failed) amount of experience, but I would say it definitely helps. It depends on the business, though. As a general practice attorney, people would usually come to me and tell me that they have a problem or question, but even then, I often had to bring it back around to “That’s something that my firm can definitely help with, how about we set you up for an appointment?” I think that if you’re trying to recruit businesses or similar, you probably have to make an even harder ask/sell (as they probably have others also offering their business, where the individuals just asked me because I’m the only attorney they know).

      Either way, I’m so glad not to be doing that any more.

    • 1 client stumbled into my lap; the rest were asks. And the asking never stops — clients merge or your in-house people turn over, so you always need a target list for who gets the next ask even if you are 100% busy. Exhausting, but there’s no other way to do it.

    • Definitely ask! It goes like this. You meet someone somewhere (networking event, at your gym, etc. etc.) and find out their business is a type that could need your services. You ask questions about their work. What does their company do? What are the challenges they’re facing? What are the next big things they’re doing in the coming year? Not rapid-fire interview-style, but conversational in a way that you’re really engaged in listening to them (most people love to talk to people who are interested in them). If they mention something your firm could help with, you say “that new product you’re rolling out sounds amazing. I’m wondering, have you thought about [legal issue]?” They might say “oh, yeah, we’ve got great counsel, Smith & Jones, working on that.” If S&J are good, you say so but also mention your expertise in the area, phrasing it as background to show that you are a good judge of whether S&J is any good. If they don’t have counsel, you point out that an issue like that can really hang things up and you’d hate to have such a great product get snagged by legal issues. Then point out that your firm does that kind of work and say you’d love to help out. Basically, help them do their business. You’re not asking for a favor or going cap in hand. You’re telling them they do great work and you want to help them focus on the things that they do well while you handle the details.

    • Thanks for posting the link, it was a great read. It seemed that she was very honest about the work/life balance. And this is totally off topic and superficial, but I absolutely adore that suit. Anyone know where it’s from?

    • Flip through some sales books and you will see that they all say you should ask for the business.

  5. Thoughts on donating a car to charity? I’m fed up with craigslist buyers who don’t show up and am wondering whether I should just donate the car and get a tax break.

    • Cornellian :

      Haven’t done it, but considered it and ultimately decided against it this spring. I considered the lost value of the car for the 7 months without interest (less time for you, presumably, but still considerable).

      Apparently you also want to make sure and get on paper what the charity is doing with the car: .

    • Do you live near a CarMax? They will buy used cars; I sold one to them several years ago. It was probably slightly less than I could have gotten for it by selling it on my own, but it was worth it to me to not have the headache.

      • Second the rec for CarMax. Again, slightly less than I what I might have made by selling to a private party, but, then, it was done in 1.5 hours. No fuss, no muss.

    • Wannabe Runner :

      We just sold a car to a used car lot. Yes, it was cheaper than we thought we could get by selling it on CL. But they took it, without us having to detail it first. It was super-easy, and I’m glad to be rid of it, even if it cost us a few $$.

    • purple heart :

      is professional, prompt and lets you know right away if the car is auctioned at more than $500.

    • Thanks all. I let the tags on the car expire so am worried about driving it to a carmax.

    • Frustrated Academic :

      We donated my college car to NPR via the Click and Clack program–someone came and towed it away and we later received a letter for tax purposes. As I had let the registration expire while it sat in the garage, the fact that someone came to pick it up was appreciated.

  6. Looking for some managerial advice. I’ve been named as the head of a new department (!) and as part of a massive re-org, I have been given several direct reports with whom I’ve never worked–I’ve never even met half of them!

    Aside from the fact that I’m younger than all my direct reports (that’s another question for another day), the folks coming on board are different from all direct reports I”ve had in the past. I’ve manged a younger set of employees, all very much in the “let me know what to do for the next raise/promotion/career move.” These individuals have been with the company for over a decade, and love what they work on/do and aren’t motivated by what my team has been motivated by in the past (raises, recognition by leadership, promotions/career paths, etc).

    Any thoughts on good resources (advice? books? support groups ;)? )for managing personalities like this? I actually think it’s great to have seasoned, comfortable people on the team…just want to make the most of it. I sort of want to ask “what makes you come to work everyday? what do you want out of this role?” but am not sure how to do it without coming off awkwardly.

    • Recognize and respect that some people just come to work for the paycheck while enjoying their work and being good at it.
      And everyone likes to be recognized for a job well done, not just the upwardly mobile among us.

    • In my inexpert opinion, people who have been working for 10+ years look for stability in the work place. They’re committed and experienced – they don’t need “active” managing like people who have been working for less than 5 years. Let them be, check in on them when necessary and let them know you’re always available.

    • Can you do the thing where you meet with everyone individually? It might not all happen at once, but aim for 2 people a day or so, and you’ll eventually get through it. Sometimes that can be helpful.

  7. The links to Thos Pink do not work.

  8. NY area weekend trip? :

    Any ideas for a weekend trip about 2-3 hours away from NYC? We’ll be driving there with a set of parents and four younguns in their 20s. We’ve been to Lake George and the Poconos and all over Long Island. Help!

    • Francie Nolan :

      Mystic CT is a great place for a multi – generational trip. There is the Mystic Aquarium, the Seaport, two Casinos, Beaches, great parks, and almost every weekend there is a festival or art show or something fun to do!

    • Somewhere in the Hudson Valley? Mohonk Mountain House?

      I also really like Newport, RI, but that of course is a bit further away. Could be 2-3 hours of travel if you take the train though.

    • Newport RI is about 3 hours away, I think and I highly recommend it. Lots of cute B&Bs, great food, gorgeous cliff walk.

  9. A recommendation: bought this sweater for $25 at Loft yesterday and it makes me so happy with its bright yellow color and paisley print. If anyone is looking for something fun to punch up a staid office wardrobe (like I was), I highly recommend. It’s a little more online ($49 – 40% off) but I think still worth it (I probably wouldn’t have bought it at full price though given Loft issues with longevity). And fyi, it is slightly see-through so you’d need a camisole underneath. But seriously wearing it today with a boring navy suit on a gray and rainy thursday and it is totally boosting my spirits.

    • I’m wearing my first ever bright yellow shirt today. I was a little worried I would feel self-conscious in it, but I think it’s actually making me kind of happy.

    • I reeeeeaaallly like that.

    • Just bought it! Had to grit my teeth and pay the $8.95 shipping, though. It looks so cheerful!
      Thanks for recommending.

  10. It’s high time our family backed up our photos — I’ve been half-@$$ing it with an external hard drive, but I’m wondering if I should do a hard drive and some sort of cloud based storage system. FWIW, we’re on a PC now but will probably buy a mac in the next 1-2 years once our laptop bites the dust. Any advice or systems you’ve found helpful? Thanks!

    • What I’ve read (but haven’t done yet myself) is that you should have two separate back up systems — so both an external hard drive and also a cloud based storage system. I have a Maxtor One Touch hard drive which is very easy to use, though just about full now, so I guess I’m going to have to get another one or something like it.

    • Solo Practitioner :

      Those online cloud backup systems are nice. I use CrashPlan at work, and I like it a lot. I’ve heard of Carbonite, too, but it doesn’t get as good reviews.

      They aren’t free, but you might be willing to pay a small annual fee for peace of mind.

  11. Seeking advice from you all regarding what to wear to a “Black Tie Optional” wedding on a Sunday evening, in LA. Person in question is 5’2″. THANKS!

    • I would wear a fancier short (knee length or slightly above) cocktail dress. There may be a few ladies in floor length gowns, but I would guess the vast majority will be wearing regular cocktail dresses.

  12. Do y’all think jewelry style has to match? So, for example, today I’m wearing a black and white sort of ikat bracelet from Banana ( and a more jewel-focused necklace from Anthro (link in reply). They are both black and gold, but the styles don’t really go together. Thoughts?

  13. This shirt is cute, but the only stretch cotton shirt I’ve tried I had to get rid of because it was a wrinkled mess 3 seconds after I put it on.

  14. I just bought a ticket to a Summer Solstice party at our local art gallery, I’m very excited. The dress code is “summer chic”. What fits into that category? Any outfit suggestions?

    My concern is that the party is going to be outside, and night temperatures are, oh…6 degrees C? It could warm up considerably by the though, I don’t know, the weather here is unpredictable. The forecast does say arond 5C for that evening, and a high of 16C during the day.

    • That sounds like fun! Is it a weekday thing? If so, I’d probably wear a light coloured pencil skirt and a silky blouse, plus fun heels (i.e. an outfit that can transition from work). If its a weekend thing, you have a lot more latitude. Maybe a fun but kinda dressy sundress and a jacket on top?

      • It’s a Friday night, so something not-business would be fine, especially since it starts at 8pm, which is more than enough time to go home and change for most attendees.

        • I like TO Lawyer’s suggestions but maybe you could wear a pashmina as well? That will keep the chill off and you could drape it kind of artsily, which would fit in well at an art gallery event.

  15. Did anyone else have a hard time adjusting to having disposable income after graduating? After graduating law school I found a job at a firm paying market in a state with no income tax and have almost no debt… but I’m having a hard time convincing myself to pay more than $900/month on rent for a nice apartment. I’ve been a poor student for so long it’s terrifying to me to leave the “I can’t spend more than absolutely necessary” mindset.

    • I actually prefer this mindset as a recent graduate. I put a very hefty amount of my paycheck into savings, and keep pretty much the same lifestyle as I did in college. My rent went up because of the prices in my area, but I still live in a modest apartment. It’s nice to (1) see my savings grow and finally have an emergency fund, (2) know that in a few years I won’t pay ridiculous rent because I’ll be ready to buy property, and (3) be able to “splurge” every once in a while on things that other people may see as necessities (mani/pedi, nice alcohol, exercise classes, and meals out are my favorite)

    • Senior Attorney :

      I agree. I don’t think living modestly is the worst thing in the world, by a long shot. If it feels better to live in a modest apartment for a while so you can build up your savings, then do it! I think that’s what I’d do in your position.

    • I too have great difficulty in upgrading my living situation. I have friends leasing expensive cars, and renting very expensive apartment (i.e. they’re paying twice what I am in rent), and I just can’t see the value in increasing monthly payments, since I’m pretty content with life as it is now.

    • I don’t think this is the worst mindset to have and it can help you in the long run. When I switched from government work to biglaw, I had the same reaction. Those around me were paying for really nice cars (to park on the street in the city…), expensive clothes and the like. Over my four years in biglaw, I did splurge on occassion (last minute vacation to Bermuda was lovely) but, from my vantage point, I did not spend nearly as much as many of my colleagues. As a result, after four years, I had paid down most of my law school debt, had a nice emergency fund, equity in a house that I could sell and a fund to buy a house back home. My point is: Saving up now for later can really pay off. I was not nearly as shackled by the golden handcuffs as many colleagues, and I had a great deal of freedom for it. Your sense of what you can afford to spend while still saving will develop over time. And if you save, you will really enjoy those little splurges without becoming accustomed to big spending.

    • Bewitched :

      Agree with the responses so far. One thing to consider, if you feel like a little splurge, let it be on things that will last a long time, rather than rent or a new car. Once we had a little extra money, we bought good furniture. It has been worth its weight in gold, since we have not had to replace it. It’s more of an investment rather than just a splurge. Congrats-that’s a good position to be in!

      • Anonymous :

        1) Build up a 6 month emergency fund.
        2) Max out retirement contributions.
        3) Save a little more for something big you might want someday (nicer house, car, vacation, etc.)
        4) Enjoy life.


    • youredoingfine :

      Don’t adopt a higher living standard just because you can- esp. if you are comfortable with what you.have. The suggestions above are good- pay down loans, fully fund your retirement and emergency accounts. Keep another amount for big dreams (house, own biz, early retirement) and another smaller for small joys ( for me, I go on one international trip a year). In fact, ten years after graduating college, I still have relatively the same standard of living…. And two investment properties.

  16. And, hit reply before I was done typing!

    Because of the shirt I used to have, I’m always cautious about stretch cotton. Anyone know how the Thomas Pink shirts hold up (in terms of not being wrinkled) throughout the day?

  17. Looking for some quick advice!

    Last year I left a company where I know I know they viewed me very highly (not just tooting my own horn – my supervisor nearly cried when I gave notice). This week they posted an entry-level version of my old position, which I think would be perfect for my SO, who has a bit of experience but not a whole lot in the area. I’d like to send them a quick note saying “Hey, SO just applied, just wanted to give you a heads up,” but not sure if that’s something I should do. The only advice on this I found was about someone who still currently worked at the company and was intensely recommending her boyfriend rather than just giving a heads up.

    Would sending a quick email like that to the hiring manager (who was my supervisor there) be weird?

    • I think it’s fine to send over an email as long as it’s clear it’s a personal recommendation (ie they know he’s your SO), not a professional one.

      I think it’s fine to be like, “Hey Jane, hope everything’s going well. I saw you guys have now opened up a new position – I think my boyfriend, Joe, would be actually great for it. I don’t know if you remember, but you met him at the office Christmas party. He’s already applied – I just wanted to give you a heads up in case his application crosses your desk. Hope everything at the office is good!”

    • Not weird at all. I sit next to the recruiting department, and they appreciate knowing if someone has a connection/”in” at the company – that generally means the candidate already has a realistic idea of the company’s culture/hours/etc. In fact, I would think the hiring manager would find it odd if you didn’t send an e-mail to mention the connection.

      • Thanks to both of you! This was my thinking too (and my email is very much along the lines of what Anonymous above you posted), but having never been in the position to do this before, I appreciate the input.

  18. Senior Attorney :

    I have a big law school reunion this weekend and although I bought a ticket, I am mightily tempted to just skip it. It’s in town but a bit of a drive from home, so I booked a room at the hotel where it’s being held so I don’t have to worry about driving after a few glasses of wine. But I can still cancel the room, if not the dinner ticket. And money is tight and I can think of other things to do with the price of the hotel room.

    And… I really don’t want to go. I’m mid-divorce, my job isn’t setting the world on fire, and the thought of sitting alone at a table full of people I may or may not know (it’s a multi-class event) makes me want to shoot myself. There’s no particular professional reason to go — I’m in the public sector and don’t need to drum up business or anything like that.

    Thoughts? Permission to blow it off?

    • If you aren’t feeling up to it don’t go, however, I have found in my own personal experience that sometimes the dread of something is no where near as bad as the event actually is – sometimes it is damn near fun. You could use this as an excuse to get away, eat room service and just relax since you are going through some serious stuff right now.

    • SKIP IT!!!!

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      Don’t do it. The older I get, the more I realise that there are fewer and fewer things I *have* to do if I don’t want to and I have had to train myself to not feel bad about this.

      Also, I had no idea about the divorce and I’m sorry to hear about that, hope you’re doing ok!

    • Miss Behaved :

      I have my 25th high school reunion this weekend. I was going to skip it, but got talked into it by some friends (peer pressure!).

      I think you should do what you want, but based on your weekend post, maybe it would be a good distraction and a good way to reconnect with people who don’t know your ex.

    • if you’re dreading it because you think it will be dull and lame, then absolutely yes skip it. If you’re dreading it because you’re feeling uncomfortable about going alone, I would maybe reconsider skipping. Sometimes we build events like this up in our head and it takes guts to go alone but it actually ends up being fun!

      I talked myself into going to a couple events that I was dreading right after my breakup because I didn’t want to go alone and it took too much effort into getting dressed and psyching myself up. It turns out I was really glad I went rather than sitting at home on my couch with a bottle of wine (and yes I realize a breakup is different from a divorce but just wanted to make the point that sometimes you need to talk yourself into events but it ends up being better than we expect!)

      If you end up going, make sure you’re dressed in something that makes you feel sophisticated and fantastic – it’ll help!

    • I went to a big law school reunion with total dread and it was totally better than expected. People were way nicer and not in the competitive mode that you saw them in college. Life has thrown everyone around a bit and nobody there was cocky or showing off about their job. There were several divorcees – including one who was visibly pregnant and telling everyone that she used a sperm donor because she really wanted to be a mom. No judgment from anybody. It might be nice to just be yourself and re-define yourself so to speak. Maybe you’ll meet some new friends whom you can keep in touch with afterwards? Anyway, I would totally go if I were you.

      • Argh, I meant to say law school, not college. Also, keep in mind that meeting people who are more experienced can be a good thing. You can make connections for your next job.

    • DC Wonkette :

      I recommend subbing it out for dinner with a good friend if you don’t feel like going. That way you can think to yourself, “I’m so glad I chose to do this instead” as opposed to “I’m a wuss for not going” (at least that’s the imaginary dialogue in my head :-)).

    • My multi-class law school reunion is this weekend too…. Wonder if we went to the same school?

      I am on the younger end of the reunion, but can’t go because I have a close (non-law school) friend’s wedding this weekend. I am not sure if I would go even if I didn’t have plans though. If you don’t feel like going, my advice is to skip it.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Thanks for all the input, ladies! I decided to cancel the hotel reservation and skip the reunion.

      I have something fun planned for Sunday, and a fun week off planned for next week, so for Saturday night I am going to take Merabella’s excellent suggestion and say “bugger it” and stay in and enjoy my own company without guilt or second thoughts.

      • Anonymous :

        Since you can’t get a refund on the ticket for the reunion, perhaps you could call up the alumni office and tell them you’d like to donate your ticket…maybe there is an alum who’d like to go but can’t afford it. This way the money you already spent on your ticket doesn’t go to waste and you can feel good about helping someone else attend. I really feel for you with what you’re going through with your nasty ex-husband…my sister went through a similar experience. Whenever you start to feel down about having to deal with him, just remind yourself that this is why you’re getting divorced, and look forward to the day (soon) when you won’t have to deal with him anymore (maybe start celebrating that this weekend!).

        • That’s a great suggestion.

        • Senior Attorney :

          That is a great suggestion — I will definitely do that.

          And yes, I was thinking the other day that if Mr. Soon-to-be-Ex-Senior Attorney and I could just sit down and discuss settlement calmly and rationally, we could totally work out a deal that would be acceptable to both of us.

          Then I realized that if we could do that, we’d still be together and there’d be no need to do it. *sigh*

          • Anonymous :

            I’m the Anonymous poster from 2:26 pm…my sister went through hell when she was divorcing her dirtbag first husband. I felt so bad for her! She persevered (although it took way longer than it should have b/c of the settlement phase, where he dragged things out and she conceded things just to resolve matters) and finally got rid of the jerk. A few years later, she met a great new guy and is now happily married, and the bad former marriage is a very distant memory in the rearview mirror.

            You seem like a terrific person and you have a great life ahead of you, once you can rid yourself of this d*bag. Just keep your eye on the prize, i.e., your great new life, and let that guide you through this difficult period!!

            I hope you have a great weekend!!!

  19. You don’t need permission from anyone. If you don’t want to go, don’t go.

  20. Can anyone recommend a good moving company for a small move (a bedrooms worth of furniture) in the Boston area?

    I’ll be going from Brookline to Cambridge. It won’t be 9/1 but it’ll be pretty close to that dreaded date, so I want to make sure I book early enough and can get a good company with reasonable rates. I honestly cant see it taking more than 2 hours.

    • Diana Barry :

      Gentle Giant is good but pricey. I would get quotes from a few places and then also look into how much it would be to buy new furniture rather than moving all the stuff you have.

    • Miss Behaved :

      I used Marco Polo movers about 2 years ago. They were good and cheap and friendly. I’d had some bad experiences with movers previously so I was pretty happy.

    • I’ll be following this thread… I’m also doing a one-room move from Brookline to Cambridge (likely on Sept 1, ugh)! So far I’ve only looked at Anton’s Movers, which estimated 2-3 hours at about $100/hr and had awesome reviews on Yelp — they were already booked for a couple days on either side of Sept 1 so probably a no-go for me, but perhaps not your move date!