Coffee Break: Tucker Earrings

These look like your basic gold knots that everyone has, but the rings have just a bit more style and substance than the typical offerings. I like the post closures and the affordable price: They’re $119 at ShopBop (where they’re an Editor’s Pick, always a good sign!). Amber Sceats Tucker Earrings

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Comments

  1. Anonymous :

    Anyone else excited that LA got the 2028 Games? I grew up loving the Olympics – then lost interest for a while as there were a few games were life was just hectic/stressful (law school; biglaw junior associate etc.). And yet I watched Rio with the same eagerness as when I was a kid. Who knows what’ll be going on nearly a decade from now – but I already really want to go.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I lived in LA in 1984 and it was great! Super excited for a repeat! And this time I’ll have the time and money to buy All The Tickets!

    • I love the Olympics and the opening ceremony is a Must Watch in my house every two years.

      But recent olympics have been mired in excessive overspending and controversy. I live in Chicago and was actually relieved when we lost our bid for the 2016 games. We’re still paying off some of the investments and we didn’t even win. At this point, after Sochi and Rio and Vancouver and London, I’m amazed that cities continue to even bid.

      • Anonymous :

        Right? I love the Olympics more than any woman should, and I cheered when the Boston bid failed. No thank you!

        • Anonymous :

          Co-sign! What a disaster the Olympics would have been for Boston– the corruption and bribes, the spending on white elephant stadiums, the possible crippling of anyone’s ability to move around the city if they didn’t follow through on the promise to overhaul public transportation (and I never believed they would).

          It’s a bit different for L.A. which already has some infrastructure from the last time it hosted. But I still worry for any city that gets in bed with the IOC .

    • Anonymous :

      I was a teenager during the Atlanta and SLC games and I was super excited (even though I lived nowhere nearby and didn’t attend either one). But honestly I feel pretty ‘meh’ about this one. I know Trump will no longer be president in 2028 but it was still awarded to the US under his administration and I feel like that just kind of puts a big cloud over it. We have such a terrible record on human rights under his admin and it’s only six months in and I just feel like by the time the games are here things could be so much worse and it will be an embarrassment to be highlighted on the world stage like that. Hopefully I’m being overly cynical.

      • Wait. Why are you conflating human rights issues from this year as you perceive them with the Olympic Games a decade away? This association alone is therapy worthy as a hallmark of negative, fatalistic thinking.

      • Cynicism isn’t your problem here. This is really just ridiculous.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Good grief.

        No.

        He will be long gone by then and nobody will even remember that the decision was made on his watch.

      • Anonymous :

        Wtf?

    • I went to the Rio Olympics, and its definitely a Bucket List must do if you love the Olympics. Tickets typically go on sale over a year before the games. For the last few games the official seller has been CoSport, but of course that could change by 2028. It actually took several tries before we got the tickets we wanted – CoSport had multiple lotteries, pop-up sales, and resales of returned tickets. Tickets were also resold on eBay and Craigslist, too.

      • Anonymous :

        How safe/secure did it feel over there? Were all the Olympic facilities pretty locked down/metal detectors etc. or was it not like that?

        Generally speaking – how expensive are tickets for this kind of thing. Of course if you want first row tickets for gymnastics all around, you’ll pay a lot. But what’s it like for the “minor” events which to me make the Olympics- volleyball; rowing etc.

        • Anonymous :

          I went to London. IIRC, I spent about $700 for not-great seats at 5 second-tier events (rowing, volleyball, tennis early round, etc.). The lottery was complicated and often fruitless (we did several rounds) so we really took what we could get. There are also events where you can spectate without a ticket, like the marathon, triathlon, road cycling, that can fill your days.

      • I would love to go to the olympics. I also want to go as a MARRIED woman, because I do not men asking for s-x.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      It is definitely worth being excited over. Going to the Vancouver Olympics in 2010 was probably my favourite trip of all time. Seeing the games in your home country is a really special experience.

    • Anonymous :

      I am OBSESSED with the Olympics and I’m so excited they’re back in North America – I would love to go but you have to book tickets and stuff so early, I’m not sure I would have the budget.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      Well, I guess I feel opposite than most here. Disappointed we “won” the bid. Worried the city will lose money and would rather have the city spend money on things like fixing aging infrastructure like roads. Not looking forward to traffic, construction/getting existing structures Olympic ready, and an in-flux of tourists either. And they better not use the pool I go to for the Olympics.

      • Anonymous :

        There will be a TON of infrastructure spending before the Olympics – not just Olympic venues but roads/bridges etc.

        And honestly if you’re inconvenienced for 2 weeks is it THAT big of a deal? Don’t go to the pool. Go to a different one. Or just go on vacation for 2 weeks.

        • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

          Well, that’s the problem. I don’t want there to be infrastructure spending for the Olympics. I want there to be infrastructure spending that actually benefits residents, not the Olympic Committee.

          And this is going to be a lot more than 2 weeks of inconvenience. It is going to be many, many months of construction/preparations that impact residents’ lives and make bad traffic even worse. And there could be lasting impacts for years.

          I was half-joking about the pool, but meh not really. I don’t want it used/ruined by the Olympics. It is a great community resource.

          • Anonymous :

            It will benefit. Roads/bridges that get improved are the ones leading to the Olympic venues and ones nearest to the most hotels etc. — they’ll be used by visitors for 2 weeks and by you for years after. It’s not like infrastructure spending will be limited to the sidewalks outside the stadium which you won’t frequent.

            You’re just looking for a reason to hate on this.

          • Honestly, I love the Olympics, but the record isn’t strong that Olympic infrastructure spending is a net positive for residents – particularly because it is spending that is, to your point, driven to facilitating Olympic participation not to the needs of citizens. So, for example, a city’s most pressing need may be bridge repairs in a low-income part of town, but what it may end up funding for the Olympics is street beautification in a tourist district.

            There’s a ton of empirical evidence on this that’s readily available online. I should note that I’m from an Olympic city that elected to fund privately and we escaped a lot of the long-term impact of public Olympic debt – although the IOC slammed the Atlanta Olympics as overly commercial (because apparently vast public debt is more consistent with the Olympic spirit).

          • In 1984 so many people were worried about all the traffic and crowds that we ended up with the best traffic in years. The city just emptied –it was great!

      • Anon in NYC :

        I was relieved when NYC didn’t get the bid in 2012.

      • Senior Attorney :

        I remember all the same grousing back before the 1984 Olympics. “Oh, traffic will be a nightmare!” “Oh, tourists are going to be awful!”

        And then when the event got here it was the Best Thing Ever. No traffic, everybody was happy, it was a financial success. Like a miracle.

        http://gizmodo.com/how-l-a-s-1984-summer-olympics-became-the-most-success-1516228102

        • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

          I mean, of course, I would love to be wrong on this one. I just wish we wouldn’t have taken the risk to begin with. And I guess we won’t really know how it will actually go until 2028 approaches. I’m hoping for the best, but won’t be surprised if bad things happen.

        • Anonymous :

          I was in London and Atlanta. This was the case in both instances. City centers were often deserted. Getting to work was a breeze because so many people had left or modified their schedules.

          • The Atlanta Olympics were the best summer of my childhood. It was honestly fantastic.

          • Agreed. I worked for a major corporate sponsor as a contract worker for the Atl games and it was super fun. So much city pride and excitement.

        • C0-signing on what Sr. Atty said — those two weeks were absolute heaven in LA! Nothing like Carmaggedon!

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      Can they use this as an excuse to drastically improve LAX? I hate that airport.

    • I luuuuuurrrrrrrve the Olympics. I used to have a poster of the 1984 men’s gymnastic team on my wall and still have a mad crush on Kurt Thomas. The Prodigal Brother lives in LA and I already told him that we have dibs to stay there. The kid will be 16 by then and I seriously am considering whether we should take the two weeks off that summer and try to be volunteers. Wheee!!!

  2. Fleeing Toxic Office :

    My job has a really toxic work environment that is making me miserable and anxious. I’m considering a move to an unrelated field that would involve a step down pay-wise in order to get int the door. It’s not a career I’ve always dreamed of or anything, but it seems like something that could be interesting and I’ve spent the last two years trying to figure out my “calling” without getting anywhere. It feels like I need to just try something else and see whether I like it. But how do you figure out whether the salary step back is worth it? I want to make sure I’m not just compromising my future to leave my toxic office behind, and I recognize that the daily effects of said toxic office means I might not be totally level headed making this decision.

    • Anonymous :

      I did something very similar. Left a very toxic law job for an unrelated career that sounded cool but I had no real experience or prior interest in (and of course it was a big salary cut). For me, it worked out so well – I love my new career and everything except the pay is better, so I feel like the almost 40% pay cut was very worth it. I know it was a big gamble though and it would have been hard to get back into law from my other career if I hadn’t ended up liking it. My job was so toxic it was spilling over and affecting my mental and physical health, and taking a non-law job sounded like a better option than quitting to be a stay at home wife. It sounds like you might be at that point too. It’s not something I would do lightly though.

    • Senior Attorney :

      When I was a young associate I was desperate to get out and considered changing to an unrelated, lower-paying field. It didn’t pan out and in hindsight I’m glad I stayed in law. Why aren’t you trying to move to a different job in your same field?

      • Fleeing Toxic Office :

        Taking this job was my attempt to try a different job in the same field and see if that made me happier, and instead it made me realize this field just isn’t for me anymore. It has a lot of flaws, and I see the future of the field headed in the opposite direction from where it would need to go for me to be happy. I’m as high in my current career ladder as I would ever want to work if I were to stay. The new field would start at a lower salary because I would have a lot to learn, but the ultimate earning potential in several years is higher. I don’t have any advanced degrees, so I don’t feel heavily invested in my current field.

    • Shopaholic :

      It maybe sounds to be like you’re desperate to get out and can’t find anything else? I understand that impulse (and in fact have looked for jobs in unrelated fields because I can’t seem to find another job right now just so I can get out of my toxic environment). But I feel like it’s a mistake.

      Have you done everything possible to find a new job in your field? Do you want to stay in your field?

    • I’m loosely of the mind that you can run at any time, but you should be running toward something and not simply away from something. Else you’ll be perpetually running away.

      If you can identify some goals or even the indicia of what might be worth running toward, and that the lack of has you running from, then run. Toxic workplaces are worth running from but have something purposeful to run toward. Best of luck–keep us in the loop.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      I only half-jokingly decided I wanted to be a lighthouse keeper for my career over the weekend, so yeah. I feel you. Solitude? Living on the ocean? Being the star in all my favorite books? SIGN ME UP.

      More seriously, this is something I’ve thought about. Probably in the same general area but a different type of work (direct services to government work but working on the same issue area, for example).

  3. Sunscreen question :

    I’ve seen a few messages here on wanting recommendations for a physical sunscreen. Is a physical sunscreen better than a chemical one, in terms of sun protection and if so, why?

    • You don’t have to wait for effectiveness after application and it can be better for sensitive skin. But, application is trickier since it is thicker and it may leave a white cast on skin. I also don’t think it lasts quite as long in wet/sweaty activities.

    • Anonymous :

      At the end of the day, the best and most effective sunscreen is the one you’ll use every day and consistently reapply. I have seen conflicting studies about the effectiveness of physical vs chemical sunscreens, but physical sunscreens are so thick leave an obvious white residue and so I find myself reluctant to put them on unless I’m heading to the beach and don’t care if I’m obviously coated in sunscreen. So for me, chemical is better because I’ll use it every day.

    • Marshmallow :

      There are various pros and cons. This article is great if you enjoy deep, science-y dives into skincare ingredients. http://musicalhouses.blogspot.com/2012/04/sunscreen-5-things-you-need-to-know.html

      Some people are allergic to certain chemical sunscreens, so if you’re one of those people, you’re going to want a physical sunscreen. Physical sunscreens tend to leave a white cast on the skin, so if you’re medium or dark complected, physical may not be the best choice. I use both types depending on what I’m doing, which layer best with makeup, etc.

      IMO, the best physical sunscreen is Cotz “natural” tint. It’s really silky and matte, gives a hint of tint for the face, and I like the finish without any makeup on top. Badger also makes good ones, but they’re expensive.

      For my body or if I’m spending all day at the beach, I prefer a chemical sunscreen like Supergoop because it doesn’t feel like an extra layer on top of my skin the way zinc sunscreens do. And if I’m layering my face sunscreen underneath makeup, I like the Glossier one or Urban Decay’s primer with sunscreen. Both of those are chemical.

      • Two Cents :

        So I actually tried Cotz per your suggestion earlier (or maybe it was someone else) and while I probably like it best out of all the physical ones I have tried, the big downside is that it is sooooo drying on my skin. And I consider myself to have combo skin. The only way I can use it is to use a moisturizer before and then I got issues with blending the two.

    • Chemical sunscreens make my psoriasis flare up, so I have to avoid them. Before I developed psoriasis, I was 100% chemical sunscreens, and I still use chemical sprays on some areas where I don’t have flares (e.g., reapplication to sandy legs at the beach). I did have to hunt to find physical sunscreens that I was comfortable using from both a sun protection standpoint (do they work and cover UVA and UVB) and cosmetic standpoint (do they stay on, not run with sweat, not leave me with a ghostish cash).

      • Anonymous :

        Can you post your facial physical sunscreen, please? I need physical due to rosacea and eczema which react badly to chemical sunscreens?

        • Country Biscuits :

          I just got a Cetaphil one that is tinted and a combo of zinc oxide and titanium dioxide.

        • On a daily basis I use Neutrogena Healthy Defense Moisturizer SPF 50 for sensitive skin with pure screen. I work BigLaw hours inside an office so I don’t get much sun, but it holds up to a morning of skiing pretty well also (I apply sunscreen at lunch).

          If I know I will be out in the sun a lot, I like the neutrogena pure and free baby (stick for face, lotion for elsewhere) or, more recently I have been using the Cerave Stick with InvisibleZinc on my face – I find it rubs in better than the baby.

    • Chemical sunscreen makes my rosacea flare up. A doctor recommended physical/reflective sunblock to me for this reason and also mentioned concerns that chemical/absorptive sunscreens may prevent sunburn and tanning without necessarily decreasing cancer risk. I don’t know what research has concluded about that.

    • Anonymous :

      Chemical sunscreens make me break out. I have sensitive skin. Two facial sunscreens I love with physical sunscreen: the one by Tarte in a purple bottle, and First Aid Beauty facial moisturizer/sunscreen. They don’t leave a white cast and don’t freak out my skin. I use chemical sunscreen on my body however.

    • Just an FYI – physical sunscreens give me heat rash and tend to make my eczema (hands only) break out.

    • I am really into skincare and just started using a physical blocker because my chemical one did not prevent me from getting some sunspots and slight melasma this summer. One week with Pacifica’s Coconut Probiotic sunscreen and my skin is in heaven (and the hyperpigmentation has improved). The biggest fallacy makeup wearers fall into is that the sunscreen component of our make up or our moisturizer is enough protection. It really isn’t. We simply don’t put enough on for it to really last or make a big difference. My skin is responding really well to the physical sunscreen, and it doesn’t make me feel oily like chemical ones do. It does leave a white cast, but that is easily covered up by powder or foundation.

    • I loved my Daylong with chemical sunscreen – I have very fair skin and am prone to skin allergies. It never disappointed me. Chemical sunscreens are usually nicer to use – they sink into your skin. However, bc they need to be absorbed into the skin, they take longer to provide you with protection and also can irritate your skin (bc they contain oher ingredients besides sunscreen which are absorbed deep into your skin). That being said, the only thing that got me abandon chemical sunscreens is that it has been found out that certain chemical sunscreens can cause permanent DNA damage to your skin (skin cancer). https://www.online.muni.cz/en/science/9411-experts-claim-ehmc-in-sunscreens-can-damage-dna
      This is ehy I switched. Physical filters sit on top of your skin and this provide protection (nearly) from the moment you put them on your skin. However, you may find their texture a bit heavier and they will not magically be absorbed by your skin. The usual active ingredient is titanium dioxide and zinc oxide – search for these two ingredients. I have tried Bioderma Photo Mineral and Biosolis (Australian brand). Also worth to note, that sunscreen in makeup foundations is usually titanium dioxide (at least in MAC Studio Fix).

    • Chemical sunscreens (in the US at least) don’t effectively block UVA rays. So they’ll protect you from burning, but they won’t protect you from wrinkles and sunspots (especially if you’re using retinol or other heavy duty skincare).

      I have very fair, dry skin and I’m prone to sunspots and melasma. Per my dermatologist, I should be using a physical sunscreen, SPF 50, for extended time in the sun and SPF 30 for normal days at the office. On my face, I use SPF 30 with 20% zinc oxide (Keys Solar Rx moisturizer with SPF 30) and then I layer Kiehl’s tinted SPF 50 on top. Titanium dioxide is the active ingredient in the Kiehl’s, so it doesn’t protect across all UVA wavelengths the same way the zinc does. The two of those together seem to do a great job preventing any pigmentation on my face.

      • Here’s some more info on UVA/UVB wavelengths and what sunscreens protect against what.

        http://www.smartskincare.com/skinprotection/sunscreen_fundamentals.html

  4. Kauai bound :

    We’re going to Kauai in a few weeks with young kids and I would love recommendations on what to do! We’re staying in Poipu. Thanks ladies.

  5. Anonymous :

    Is it normal to feel a little ill the first time you put in an offer on a place?

    • YES! (Congratulations!)

    • Yep. And maybe again when they accept! It’s a big exciting step, but totally normal to have a little nerves to go with it! Good luck!

    • Anon in NYC :

      Um, are you me?

    • Yes. I felt a little ill all the way to closing, and then immediately fell in love with the house.

    • Yes! And up until the point we closed I laid in bed at night worrying about whether we had made a mistake. I seriously spent hours awake worrying about whether the bathroom location was going to ruin my life. But the moment we moved in I was sure we had made the right choice.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Totally normal.

      It is also normal to feel ill when it is accepted and you get the place that you want.

    • Anonymous :

      Yes, of course.

      As long as you don’t have any health issues or negative history with the method, I recommend treating this temporary illness with alcohol.

  6. Nursery Decor :

    Anyone want to help me decorate our nursery? It’s a woods/nature theme with greens and blues. So far I have a bright navy dresser/changing table, a white crib, and a darling painting of some mountains with green trees and a blue river (that’s where the color scheme is coming from). I’d love to find a vintage-y rug that has greens and blues… maybe some wall decor, some bedding, really up for any ideas! Any vicarious decorators out there want to help?

    • The first thing that popped into my head was Emily Henderson’s nursery walls: https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/blog/a-baby-girls-blush-and-green-nursery

      The room hardly needs any work after that!

      The wallpaper here: http://rebelwalls.com/collections/no-3-greenhouse/bellewood/

    • Anonymous :

      Love Amy Hamilton’s baby animal prints! She has several that would work for you (deer, owls, bears, raccoons, etc.). You can buy on Fine Art America or Society 6.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      How DIY do you feel?

      This wall painting looks like a million bucks, but is actually really straightforward to do: http://nommingbonbons.weebly.com/blog/transformation-before-and-after-2nd-bedroom

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Bedding!

        I’ve had these sheets in my Amazon cart forever, though Kiddo’s room is more “explorer” than “woods” — but those themes are similar, right?:
        https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FB5S9BG/

        Or these:
        https://www.amazon.com/Fitted-Woodsy-Toddler-Bedding-Collection/dp/B01M1MXJ4O/r

        Actually a fan of this whole set of things: https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Jojo-Designs-Woodland-Childrens/dp/B01HHAWXZA/

        (Ugh I apologize if this makes me That Guy but sewing crib sheets is shockingly easy, if that’s a route you want to take.)

        What would you think of one of those rugs that are — I would call it a “rag rug” — like tied/braided fabrics in different colors in the same color family? I think a circular one in blues and greens could be lovely.

        I’m also a big fan of decals for baby’s walls — easy enough to change. There are a bajillion cute woodland animals ones, everything from cartoony to chic.

    • OCAssociate :

      There’s a Babyletto bookshelf shaped like a tree that might work for yuo.

      • Nursery Decor :

        Yes! I ordered it in the NAS! Thank you all for these adorable ideas. Exactly what I had in mind!

    • My mom has gone full on etsy and has made a mountain and cloud mobile and these pillows that look like snowcapped mountains. We don’t have a nursery but I’m really pleased to have a few sweet and simple mountain accessories.

  7. Anonymous :

    Does anyone have a recommendation for a tailor in NYC? Preferably in fidi or uws.

  8. sad afternoon :

    My husband and I agreed to foster orphaned newborn kittens yesterday. We lost one today. My husband called me at work and I could hear the sadness in his voice as soon as I picked up.

    Send good thoughts for its tiny siblings. There are a lot of variables leaning against such delicate creatures, of course, which we knew going into the foster, but I can’t help but grieve this little (3.7-ounce!) loss.

    • anonymous :

      I’m sorry. Thank you so much for fostering! I adopted my cats from a foster home, and they’ve had such happy, peaceful lives. When we were picking them out from among their litter mates, their caretaker sent me a picture of what they had looked like when they were tiny, and I counted one extra kitten in that very early picture. So I know they lost one too. I appreciate all you are doing to help these guys pull through if they can.

    • I’m so sorry. I hope the siblings survive and thrive. This may be something you already know, but I didn’t, so sharing just in case: if you take a washcloth and wet it a little, you can “brush” the kittens with it, replicating the feel of their mama’s tongue.

      • sad afternoon :

        Oh, yes–we’ve already gone through about a dozen washcloths! We’ve had lots of adult cats and even a nursing queen before, but orphaned kittens are a whole different ballgame. Without Mama on clean-up duty they are pretty much constantly filthy.

    • Keep them warm and make sure they eat and that is as much as you can do. Its really hard without a mom cat. Thank you for helping them!

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Hugs!

      Our kitten (uh, he’s like, 7 years old now) was a street orphan (with a broken leg when he was found!) and then he was fostered and now he’s this chubby, healthy, annoying, wonderful part of our family. I’m so grateful when I think of the people who took him in when he was a tiny kitten. <3

    • cat socks :

      I’m so sorry. It’s awesome that you’re fostering. Hoping the other kittens pull through.

    • Fostering is a good thing. You’re doing great work. Whomever fostered my little man dealt with bouts of blood puking and diarrhea, but I’m thankful every day they persevered and now I have the fluffy love of my life.

  9. Time keeping anxiety :

    I posted this late on the morning thread and got some really helpful thoughts. Thought I’d post again a bit earlier here on the chance there are other thoughts.

    I left a firm to go in-house. One of the reasons I left the firm was because of anxiety around the requirement of billing my time and all that is wrapped up in that. Starting today at the in-house gig, we are being required to keep track of our time in 15 minute increments. I thought I could roll with this, but I am kind of freaking out and my familiar anxieties from the firm have hit me like a truck.

    We don’t bill our internal clients. Apparently they want this information to have hard data to show higher ups about the work we do to support the company. I find time keeping a tedious chore and a distraction and it also bothers me that my work product is not enough to show the value I add to the company. But I also feel like I’m just having a strong visceral reaction to time keeping generally based off of how things were at the firm before I left. Help?

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I replied late over there.

      • Thank you – just saw it. Time keeping wasn’t a requirement when I started and I think that is part of why I’m having a hard time with it now. Isn’t one of the perks of going in-house NOT having to keep track of your time?? I thought I was going to be free and clear from this kind of thing and I am just so disappointed.

    • So much commiseration.

      I left a very toxic high billable hour requirement job for a much more relaxed one. At old job, we had weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual billable hours check ins and were berated if we weren’t perfectly on target at any point. We were berated if we were not efficient or realizable enough. Emails were sent to the entire firm publicly shaming anyone who did not enter and release their time every day (e.g. “here is a list of all the people who did not release their time yesterday”). Billable goals were increased three times in the three years I was there.

      Now I’m in a much saner job where we still bill our time, but there are no formal requirements or hours targets. It’s just “do your work, bill your time, it’s all good.” I’ve been here for almost two years and I keep waiting for the shoe to drop. I don’t think it’s going to drop. I feel like I need a mantra to repeat as I’m entering my time. Whispering to myself “you’re not going to get fired” might be a good one.

      Being afraid to enter my billable hours is all negative self talk at this point. Honestly, it probably was at the other job too. Everyone who didn’t quit still got promoted on a fairly set schedule.

      • That sounds like the WORST. I replied on the other thread, too, (calling out rude anon), but here’s a more substantive response tailored to your concerns, OP. I started in private practice a few years ago and loathed billing time with a fiery passion. It dredged up a ton of anxieties for me and I was honestly convinced that I would have to leave private practice because I couldn’t stand billing. I had no clue how people spent their whole careers doing it. After about 4 years, I can honestly say that I don’t mind. In fact, I sometimes find it satisfying. Billing is super uncomfortable for lots of people like us because it forces us to confront the “enoughs”: are we efficient enough? working hard enough? is my work good enough to justify this cost? will this be recognized? should I squeeze in one more hour, even if it means skipping the gym? Quantitative measurements like this are really bad for perfectionists (like me), because they attach their self worth (at work and outside of it) and sense of security with numeric indicators of performance. What worked for me was learning that it wasn’t a trap. Once I separated out billing from my concerns about efficiency, billing was no longer drama central. A few years of being consistently very busy helped that- all the sudden, billing was working for me. I was never ashamed or anxious when I was doing it. I actually liked the results. It’s actually not that hard to bill 8-9 hours/day when you’re pretty busy. The key is to disassociate billing with fears about performance. Self-talk if you need it- this is not a trap, you do good work, you add value, no one is breathing down your neck- they’re doing this because hire-ups told them to and maybe other people aren’t efficient, but you are.

        Once you come up with an effective system for tracking and decouple billing from anxiety about productivity, you’ll be fine.

      • That’s definitely part of it for me too. They say they’re using our time for certain purposes but I have this fear that it will ultimately be used to show we’re not working enough or to draw comparisons and shame people who work less than others. Also, I feel like I work full days here, but in true billable time, probably more like 5-6 hours per day despite being here for 8-9. So I hate submitting time for 5 or 6 hours and just have this sinking feeling it will come back to bite me.

        Thank you for the commiseration.

        • Did they give you parameters of what’s billable/what’s non-billable? If you are now responsible for your own admin tasks, I’d make sure you account for those in some way. I feel like the law firm version of true billable time may be more restrictive because law firms are designed to maximize billing.

          • Anonymous :

            Also, in a law firm there are ethical and client-relationship factors at play. Can’t bill a senior associate for organizing a file, etc. but in your situation. You should be able to include things that wouldn’t fly in a law firm

        • Your fear is founded. Same thing happend at my old in house gig. Management said the same thing at the beginning, but slowly people stared receiving comments about their hours compared to others, and now there is a weekly hours requirement and a hours related bonus program. When you have this type of data, it becomes very difficult to not use it to compare people against each other.

    • Uh…my in house gig started the same thing today except in MINUTES instead of 15 min increments. Because apparently whoever came up with it has never worked at a firm. It sucks and I sympathize 100%. I’m treating it like a game by writing obnoxiously detailed entries, and also recording random 2 minute phone calls.

  10. Murzlebee :

    Any tailor recommendations for DC? I have a few dresses I need altered (more than just the hem) and my current tailor is great but charges flat fee of $70 for anything touching the sides of the dress.

  11. Seeking Philly (Center City) recommendations: I have some small prints that I want to have matted and framed. Which frame shop do you think has the best value for money? Taste is clean-traditional (not MCM, not mirrors or mother of pearl, not “statement” frames) so this shouldn’t be hard, I just don’t have any IRL friends with recs!

    • BabyAssociate :

      Not a Philly specific recommendation, but Framebridge!!! Really can’t recommend them enough.

    • Anonymous :

      I like Frame Fatale in East Passyunk. Not inexpensive, but the owner is great with suggestions. Don’t be afraid of the wacky sample frames on the wall- describe what you want and she’ll show options to your taste.

  12. I’m going on vacation to Hawaii and want to buy a cute hat for sun protection. Any recommendations? Even better if I can get it through Prime.

    • I had the BEST 11$ had from Amazon, it was foldable and packable (not quite crushable), and it blew off my head on a boat in the Dominican in May. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XYYS12C/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

      I re-ordered it and the second one was a bit smaller, so idk how consistent the sizing is at that price point, but I was really happy with the first one!

    • Anonymous :

      Sol a Mer. Not cheap but impeccable. Hand made in NYC.

    • Related question: What hat styles are out there for sun protection? Obviously there’s the “sun hat” style in the two links above, but are there others? I’m not a hat person and trying to figure out what best to buy.

    • May I suggest you wait to buy your hat in Hawaii? There are a million stores selling a billion hats there – I may exaggerate, but way more hat selection than in mainland US – and you’ll be able to try it on and see what you like.

      Then in the future you can say, “aah, this is the hat I bought in Hawaii”

  13. Swim cover up :

    Looking for a cute swim cover up to wear over my swimsuit, bonus if it’s from Amazon. Suggestions?

    • Country Biscuits :

      I got a variation on this one. Cute, light, doesn’t absorb too much water, and you can’t beat the price:

      https://www.amazon.com/Leopard-Chiffon-Beachwear-Cover-ups-Cardigan/dp/B01I37CXKG/ref=pd_rhf_se_s_cp_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01I37CXKG&pd_rd_r=9C36KFB26KSC383GPQA6&pd_rd_w=y2mXl&pd_rd_wg=pzq5Y&psc=1&refRID=9C36KFB26KSC383GPQA6

      • Country Biscuits :

        Likin’ these too:

        https://www.amazon.com/Sunward-Summer-Bohemia-Swimsuit-Beachwear/dp/B06Y61LWC6/ref=sr_1_125?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1501623532&sr=1-125&nodeID=1040660&psd=1&keywords=swim+cover+chiffon+tassels

        https://www.amazon.com/Avidlove-Womens-Chiffon-Beachwear-Bikini/dp/B06XRCHRK6/ref=sr_1_147?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1501623692&sr=1-147-spons&nodeID=1040660&psd=1&keywords=swim+cover+chiffon+tassels&psc=1

    • My favorite cover up. It comes in lots of colors but not sure if they’re all on amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Blanca-Womens-Island-Tunic-Cover/dp/B012Y6AQ5G/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1501623424&sr=1-1&nodeID=1046626&psd=1&refinements=p_4%3ALa+Blanca

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      https://www.amazon.com/Trina-Turk-Womens-Orange-Sherbet/dp/B0188OGFXK/ref=sr_1_28?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1501634838&sr=1-28&nodeID=1046626&psd=1&refinements=p_89%3ATrina+Turk

  14. HELP! Going to dinner with my boss and grandboss. What to wear? Office is generally business casual but most of them are men so doesn’t help me decide. What would you wear? I thought about off shoulder (not showing any b**bage or anything but that seems like a bad idea?!

    • Country Biscuits :

      Yes, bad idea, sorry. I assume not what you’re wearing to work? Casual blazer, blouse?

      • No, its several hours after we leave for the day – so I will definitely go home and shower then change. I don’t like to go to dinner not feeling super fresh after a long day of work. Personal preference.

    • This is a work occasion, not social, so your instinct to avoid off-the-shoulder is correct. Wear whatever work clothes make you feel sharp and confident! I also suggest wearing them all day. It seems a bit strange to go home a change to me.

      • It’s late at night and they emphasized its a “relaxed time to get to know one another” which is why a blazer seems… off and its social/work -y. So a tough one! BTW, I’m in tech – not law. So there’s some variance too.

        • Is it late at night on a work day? Is it so late at night you’d have a natural gap between finishing work and the dinner? My inclination would be to wear whatever I’d already worn to work that day, minus the topper. So I’d wear a wrap dress and blazer to work and then ditch the blazer for dinner. Or an interesting, work appropriate top, plus cardigan and dress pants to work and then get rid of the cardigan for dinner.

          Anything else feels kind of strange to me. Like going home to primp and get ready for a date or something. Even though they say this is a relaxed time to get to know one another, it’s still for work.

    • Anonymous :

      I work in a business casual field with a lot of dinner events. Fancy tops are good — they are the only part of the outfit visible at the dinner table. I like a sleeveless surplice/crossover-draped style of top, since it looks dressy but doesn’t bare anything more than a daytime top. Links to follow . . .

      • Anonymous :

        https://www.macys.com/shop/product/alfani-printed-surplice-blouse-created-for-macys?ID=4646392

        http://www.saksoff5th.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCTprd_id=845524442206896

        http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Splendid-Reily-Plaid-Sleeveless-Surplice-Top/prod202070012/p.prod?icid=

      • PERFECT – I am thinking Fancy top with black or dark denim and loafers.. maybe heels.

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