This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
![a-serious-alarm-clock](https://corporette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/a-SERIOUS-alarm-clock.jpg)
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
RSS Error: A feed could not be found at `https://corporette.com/tag/posts/feed`; the status code is `403` and content-type is `text/html; charset=utf-8`
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Standing Desk
I just got a standing desk. Any recommendations for a floor mat to go with it? I read a lot of reviews and found one with different “topography,” but it’s $120. Can I buy a $40 floor mat, or do I need a fancy one? And is there anything else I need to enhance the standing desk experience?
anon
I would wait a bit. I didn’t want to waste the money and just buy more cr$p so I decided to wait to see if I needed it, and I don’t. I just take off my heels and stand on the plastic thing for my chair. My feet really don’t hurt.
Sharp
+1 Same.
Wildkitten
The Sweethome has a recommendation
Anon
I bought a $50 off of Amazon and have been happy with it. I only stand 2-4 hours a day, depending on my schedule, but it works well.
Anonymous
I got one for ~$20 at Costco. It’s not as nice as others I’ve tried, but it works for ~2 hr increments (which is what I usually do). If I were routinely doing 4+ hr increments, I’d definitely get something better.
FWIW, I also keep a pair of very comfortable shoes under my desk for days when I wear shoes that aren’t ideal for standing in for long periods.
Hollis
I bought the Sky Mat from Sky Solutions (sold on amazon) and I love it. My assistant bought a cheaper mat and decided to buy the one I have because hers was not as thick and firm and her feet were hurting by the end of the day. Mine was close to 60 bucks but in my opinion totally worth it because I stand all day at my desk and also I don’t want to worsen my bunion/foot pain problem.
Hollis
You may need to adjust the height of your monitor so you are not looking down to your screen. I had to buy some stackable plastic monitor risers to get the screen where I wanted it to be for optimal viewing.
anon
I bought this for in front of my kitchen sink (washing bottles for twins) and it is amazing!
Anonymous
I wear foot-shaped mats, aka sneakers.
Laura B
I have a community org meeting tonight and we are suppose to make a good attempt at a Halloween costume. I have a pretty mask and a sequine tank that goes with it nicely that I’m going to wear – what can I say that I “am”?
Anonymous
What color is the mask and top?
Anonymous
I mean are. Ack.
Laura B
Dark purple and green
First Year Anon
Peacock?
Anonymous
New Orleans Mardi Gras parader?
Laura B
That was my first thought – I guess that’s a thing, right? I was just in New Orleans last week and there were tons of masks like mine, so it does work.
Senior Attorney
Yeah get some Mardi Gras beads if you can.
Laura B
I’m so glad I looked at this before I left work – I had the PERFECT marti gras bead necklace (from one of my first work conferences in New Orleans – its bigger than normal beads with cool faces) hanging on my mirror in my office that I totally forgot about. Now with all three elements it will feel much more intentional! Thanks!!
Anonymous
I’m seriously dating a guy for the first time in a loooong time and I’m feeling very insecure about it. I’m a naturally anxious person, and I’m used to guys treating me terribly, and it’s hard for me not to second guess everything I or he does or says. Like if he doesn’t text me back right away, does that mean he doesn’t like me anymore, or if he’s too busy to see me this week does that mean he wants to break up…I realize it’s nuts but I can’t help it. I have no reason to doubt him. Help. Should I talk to him and let him know I need more reassurance or should I hide my crazy in case I scare him off?
Nati
It’s always important to be honest with your partner about your needs and desires (more frequent communication/reassurance, etc.), but I think that the fact that you realize your behaviour might be the result of negative past experiences is a good thing. When you are panicking, just ask yourself (as you have here): why am I afraid? Do I have any reason to be? This mental reframing might help ease the anxiety over time. Also, as the relationship progresses you and your partner will build more trust (hopefully) and get a better sense of how to respond to one another’s needs. The beginnings can be anxiety inducing for most of us.
January
As a similarly anxious person, my vote is for asking for (a little) reassurance, in a calm and composed way. I think trying to hide your anxiety will make it worse (and your guy will likely be aware of it, even if he isn’t saying anything to you about it). I would also try to frame your need for reassurance in concrete terms – if there’s something easy he can do that will reassure you, that will probably be an easier request for him to meet (and for you to grow more comfortable) than for you to be like, “OMG please promise you will never leave me, AHHHH.”
(For what it’s worth, this is easier said than done, and I haven’t pulled it off successfully…. yet).
Jitterbug
Welcome to the club!
What helps is to remind myself my boyfriend really is a busy guy; he’s got a blossoming social life and he loves doing stuff! And sometimes when he’s just chilling he forgets he has a phone, like I do. AND a couple months ago we figured out my larger messages don’t go through at all, which is annoying. So if it takes him a while to respond, I assure myself there are tons of things he could be doing and either he hasn’t checked his phone yet, or he saw the message but planned on responding later. If my text needs a response I might bug him later on, or I let it float.
If you notice a change in his behavior around you, it’s fair to ask if everything’s okay – it invites him to open up about a relationshippy thing that could be bugging him, or let you know there’s something else going on that has nothing to do with you.
I’m also the type to freak out when I make a mistake, and think he’s gonna dump me. Just last week I posted a request for a “sanity check” here after I blew up for a hot second in the car, because I worried he’d dump me for raising my voice at him. And last night I made a Mean Girls reference that was, admittedly, made in poor taste and I’m now worrying if *that* will prompt a breakup! It’s normal to worry if something you said or did might have rubbed him the wrong way, but the best thing to do is acknowledge, apologize, and move on; if it’s really bugging you a week later, find a chance to casually check in about it, but don’t put yourself in time-out every time you make a mistake, that only makes things worse.
Senior Attorney
Jitterbug, if a thoughtless remark by you will cause him to break up with you, then he’s not the right guy. The right guy will love you for who you are, less-than-stellar moments and all.
Anonymous Poser
+1
Anonymous
It. Is. Not. Normal.
It is not at all remotely normal to worry your comment about Mean Girls will prompt a breakup. Please get professional help.
Anonymous
+1. You seem like a very nice person Jitterbug, so I’m not trying to pile on or make you feel bad about yourself, but this kind of worrying really is not normal and telling yourself that it is won’t do you any favors in the long run. Big picture doubts like “where is this relationship going?” or “does he want to marry me?” are normal (occasionally). But worrying that your BF will break up with you because you made a joke about Mean Girls? That is either a sign that you’ve got a terrible BF (because only a jerk would make you feel that a comment like that could ever be grounds for a breakup) or debilitating anxiety.
ChiLaw
I sure hope this doesn’t come across as piling on, but this is literally what I’m working on in therapy.
“I got stuck in traffic so I was going to be late for dinner, and I spent the whole drive freaking out about how angry he would be.”
“Does he get really angry about things like that?”
“No, pretty much never. He’s a reasonable guy.”
“Then why are YOU worrying about it to such a distressing degree?”
“oh.”
Jitterbug
I worry about people being unreasonable because I’ve dealt with plenty of unreasonable people before.
And you don’t sound like you’re piling on. The people whose posts. READ. LIKE. THIS. OH. MY GOD. YOUR ANXIETY. IS SO ANNOYING. GO AWAY YOU ANXIOUS ANNOYING PERSON NO ONE WANTS TO DEAL WITH YOU responses don’t help. YELLING AT SOMEONE FOR HAVING ANXIETY ONLY MAKES THEM FEEL WORSE, IT DOES NOT HELP THEM EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU’RE YELLING HELPFUL THINGS AT THEM!
I was trying to commiserate with the OP, but now it seems like I ticked everyone off. That’s what anxiety feels like.
Anonymous
Oh my god. Please please get therapy. You have angered zero people! We are worried about you!
cc
Jiterbug no one has ever told you to go away. But you seriously do need help- your posts are so desperately sad. The one where you thought it was normal for a boyfriend to ask other women out on dates while out on dates with you has legit haunted me.
nope
Jitterbug, read yourself some Brene Brown ASAP. And yes therapy. You’re not alone, but you also don’t have to feel this way.
potatochip
Similarly anxious here. Oddly, I found reading “Sex and the Single Girl” to be very helpful. The author is so optimistic and assures the reader that we all have a ton of romantic options. It really helped me keep things in perspective.
Ellen
I think peeople like Jitterbug need to talk in person to a counselor. It is difficult for us to help her on the INTERNET. I thought I figured it out with Sheketovits, but it was NOT until I spoke with Dad’s counselor that I realized it was HIM, not me that was messing thing’s up. He had me convinced I was wrong for not treating him right b/c he was an alchoholic, but the counselor said he was playing my sympathies. I learned alot from her. The lesson here is NOT to let men trick you into thinking they are better then you. They are NOT. FOOEY on men who know we are dependant on them. DOUBEL FOOEY!
Jax
Would it help to follow those anxious thoughts through to the end? Like the late text reply leads to an embarrassing break-up conversation where he quietly points out all the ways you are a clingy loser and he just CAN’T deal with you anymore. (Whatever your worst-case scenario would be, that would just be mine…)
Then take that worst case scenario and plan how you would react to it. Laugh? Roll your eyes? Whatever makes you feel empowered and not cowering in humiliation and despair. Picture that scenario for a few minutes, then remind yourself that you can’t predict or control what this guy is going to do. He’s either going to hurt you, or he’s going to be amazing and you’re starting a 30+ year relationship. It’s a complete risk, but you’re risking it and venturing out there because IT’S WORTH IT.
OP
Sorry for the late reply, got caught up at work, but thank you…that is really helpful. Thank you for commenting.
Senior Attorney
This was me for, like, at least a year when I was dating Lovely Husband.
Generally I talked through my anxiety with Dr. Shrink, and on very rare occasions when there was something in particular that was making me crazy, I would bring it up to LH but I tried to make it very rare indeed because I recognized that he was being perfectly appropriate and I was the one who was unhealthy. And yes, I did some of what Jax suggests, which was picturing the good and bad outcomes and reminding myself that I would be just fine either way.
Fun fact: I finally confessed to him a couple of months ago that every time I didn’t hear from him for a couple of days, I was convinced he was ghosting me. And he laughed and said “well, I wanted to call you every day but I didn’t want to seem too eager!”
Anonymous
Hide your crazy; get therapy. It is not “hiding” to recognize that it is not his job to manage your insecurity. It is adulting.
Senior Attorney
This.
Jitterbug
Eh, that’s in the right direction, but not the best way to frame it.
Anxiety is not “crazy,” and if you’re in a relatioship they should know what you’re dealing with, as long as you are trying to deal with it. Not everyone with a mental illness expects people to take care of them. They may need an occasional check-in or reassurance (key word being “occasional”), but hiding it completely from someone who’s a big part of your life is not a good idea.
Anonymous
I’m sorry what? No. You don’t dump your irrational anxieties on a new boyfriend. It is not his job. You. Get. Therapy. And. Meds. And. Fix. It.
Anonymous
I would try to pay attention to and learn more about your SO’s phone habits so that you can recognize when it’s been a weirdly long time _for him_ to have not responded to you. That amount of time varies person to person. Some people respond right away and others don’t. My sister sometimes doesn’t respond to my texts for a day because she’s busy, and I never think my sister doesn’t love me anymore. We’re actually pretty close. My SO does the same thing. When we first got together I had moments of “What is the meaning of this silence?!” but when I realized that’s how he personally uses his phone and responds to messages, and compared his responsiveness to my sister’s, I calmed down.
BabyAssociate
I wear a FitBit Alta and LOVE the silent alarm.
Curiouser and curiouser
I like this sunrise alarm clock! (L!nk to follow) — the commenters are right that the buttons are a bit confusing at first, but I read the manual, figured it out, and now it works just fine for me. And at $36, it’s much, much cheaper than other sunrise alarms. Excelvan-Wake-Up-Sunrise-Simulation-Natural
TO Lawyer
Wow I think I may need to try a sunrise alarm. I hate mornings…
Runner 5
Having just moved way north, I’m waiting for this next paycheck to buy a sunrise alarm clock. Especially because I have shutters not curtains so even when it is light outside the light doesn’t really come in.
Snoozy
I’ve got a fairly pricey Phillips that I love, and has proven its worth at Scotland+ latitudes – I wouldn’t go without it now.
Runner 5
The Phillips one is worth the price? Excellent, that means I can buy it from John Lewis instead of messing around trying to get an Amazon delivery.
Cb
I have the Phillips one and a cheapo sad lamp for my desk. Absolute lifesaver in winter!
Meredith Grey
I bought the Phillips one and it works great, but I haven’t compared it to a cheaper option. I was so desperate to maintain my 6 am wake-up routine as sunrise got later last month that I just went for the mac daddy cadillac version. I’m keeping it, but I’m not convinced it’s the only option.
waffles
I have the Phillips sunrise alarm too and I love it!!!!
ORD
I have the Pillips one, too. It’s great — such a nice way to wake up.
Sloan Sabbith
I bought the Philips. I hate waking up. I assumed a nice, gentle, slowly-increasing light would be a more gentle way of waking me up. It would seem that I can very, very effectively turn over, bury my head in the pillow, and block out the light from the lamp. For hours.
I should have realizedthis, since I can also get up, flip on my overhead light, and STILL manage to fall back asleep.
I gave it to my mom. Merry Christmas, Mom! (Joking. I just gave it to her one weekend and told her I hated it and her response was “I could have told you that wouldn’t work for you.”)
Curiouser and curiouser
Out of moderation so I can post my link :)
https://www.amazon.com/Excelvan-Wake-Up-Sunrise-Simulation-Natural/dp/B01DM3UAKQ
anon
What is everyone going as for Halloween? And your kids?
Bonus points for costumes that can be assembled primarily out of your closet . . . .
BabyAssociate
Last year I was Medusa. I ordered a back of rubber snakes from Amazon and braided them into my hair and wore a dress and gladiator sandals I already owned, so easy!
Laura B
Last year I was a bank robber – I wore black skinny jeans, black knee high boots, black turtleneck, and stuffed fake money in my back pockets. I liked that.
Laura B
Oh, I forgot – I also wore a black stocking hat and got a super cheap plastic black mask. The only thing I didn’t have was the mask.
Jitterbug
Nothing’s set in stone yet, but I know I wanna be scary/creepy. Right now I’m thinking ventriloquist dummy, because I have a dress with a built-in bowtie, and then it’s just a matter of doing makeup. And it means not having to buy anything new, except maybe some contouring stuff to accentuate my cheeks.
ChiLaw
Nothing’s set in stone yet, but I know I wanna be scary/creepy. Right now I’m thinking ventriloquist dummy, because I have a dress with a built-in bowtie, and then it’s just a matter of doing makeup. And it means not having to buy anything new, except maybe some contouring stuff to accentuate my cheeks.
EB0220
We are all ninja turtles last year. We did have to obtain some green pants for all but otherwise it was pretty easy. Just bought some fabric to make the masks and belts ourselves. Obtained the foil pan shells from my nephew’s birthday party. My four year old loved it so much she wants to do it again this year.
FrankieCat
Going as Janet Yellen. Wearing an old suit and a $5 white bob wig I bought from Ebay.
TRYING to get husband to go as Bernanke but so far he refuses.
CMT
I love this! He could also go as George Akerlof.
Marshmallow
I was just thinking about this! A few options I’m kicking around:
— A “woman card.” I’d get one of those large playing-card costumes where you actually look like a rectangle, and use a sandwich board or something to decorate it. DH says nobody will “get” this, which makes me sad. It’s also a lot of work.
— A “Trumpkin.” This is my personal pet name for Trump supporters but I realized it lends itself well to a costume. Standard pumpkin costume, Trump wig, orange bronzer everywhere, maybe tape some fake money to myself.
— Couples costume: Kimmy Schmidt and Titus. I’d wear the signature pink pants and yellow cardigan, and DH would wear a cheap Iron Man costume. I’m leaning this way because it requires minimal effort and I think most people would know instantly what we are. We are going to a Halloween concert with a pretty young, hipster-y crowd, so I think most people will have seen the show.
BabyAssociate
Trumpkin is a fantastic idea!!!
Bonnie
Lil man is going to be Luke Skywalker. DH is going to be Darth Vader. I couldn’t find a non-revealing Padme costume.
Frozen Peach
OMG. Just need to vent. On a huge group conference call and someone has not pressed their “mute” button and is chewing VERY loudly into the phone. So unbelievably gross.
Veronica Mars
“I’m hearing some interference. If you’re not speaking please make sure you’re on mute.”
Walnut
Was on a conference call recently where the primary speaker was clicking a cough drop against their teeth and coughing the entire call. Drove.Me.Bonkers.
cbackson
I heard someone take a lengthy pee and then sigh in relief on a conference call once.
Senior Attorney
That is just the best.
Anonymous
AMAZING
Jlg
Dog barking in the background happens occasionally. Best was on conference line during oral argument before a federal commission (line is open for listeners bc these meetings are open to the public – luckily not my case I was just listening). Commissioners had to request MORE THAN ONCE for phones to be muted. Wow.
Baby Associate
My FitBit Charge alarm is amazing. I set back up alarms on my phone a few minutes later just to make sure I am up.
In college, after all-nighters, I’d use a service like Snoozester to make sure I got up!
BabyAssociate
Think you could use a different handle? :)
Baby Associate
Sure. I’ve been using it for the past few days and had not noticed it was taken.
PHX
@BabyAssociate(s): You should be happy there are two of you — you can double your billable hours! :)
BabyAssociate
Genius!
Curly Hair Help
I used to use Samy Salon Ultralightweight Conditioning Serum on my dry hair but the product was discontinued and I have almost given up trying to find a replacement. Did anyone else love this? Any suggestions for something similar?
ANP
Just brought home a puppy this weekend — we went to a rescue dog adoption event and only had our sights on young/adult dogs (not puppies!) but this little gal had the best personality and totally won us over. We’ve had dogs before but typically of the sliiiightly older variety (1 year +).
We are in the process of crate training her; husband and I both work full time 8-5:30ish jobs, but we’re staggering lunches so I’m home for an hour late morning, he’s home for an hour early afternoon, and then we have a neighbor coming by for an hour at 3PM every day (so she’s out of the crate for an hour after every ~2 hours).
Any puppy tips? She cried/howled for much of the night — loves her crate, just doesn’t want to be alone. She’s been good at holding #2 until someone lets her out, but has had pee accidents in the crate (and we still take her out roughly every 30 minutes when we’re home — unless she’s napping). She’s about 8 weeks old so I know she can’t physically hold it for super long. I am hopeful the crying at night (and peeing in the house) will stop soonish. All puppy stories/tips welcome!
Anonymous
Where she’s so little, could you put her crate in the middle of a superyard (the gate for kids thing that goes in a closed circle) and line the superyard with puppy pads – that way she’d have somewhere to pee outside her crate but would be able to wander in the house. It will be a while before she can hold it long enough to wait for visits at lunchtime.
Anonymous
argh – no edit button – meant to say “but would NOT be able to wander”
mascot
Can she sleep (crated) next to your bed where she can see and smell you?
Anonymous
This is a great idea. It doesn’t mean she’s in your bedroom forever – you can slowly move the crate to the door and out of the bedroom once she’s adjusted but for the next while it will probably help with her adjustment.
ANP
We have a second crate in our room but she howls there too :( I am more than willing to have her in our room at night (who am I kidding, it’s only a matter of time before she’ll be sleeping in our bed!) but she is SO LOUD. We have three little kids who all sleep upstairs — same level as our bedroom — and there’s no way they’d sleep through it.
mascot
Yeah, it’s just going to be painful short term sleep training for the pup and you. My older dog lasted one night in the crate when we adopted her. After she whined and complained the whole night, she ended up in our bed. That was 11 years ago. She was house broken so that made it easier. We were more disciplined with the next dog and she slept in the crate for several months until she was trained. Will a sound machine help soothe her?
MJ
One thing that’s sort of new but was a game changer for my puppy for the first few weeks was Puppy Litter. You can get it at Petco. It’s not like Cat Litter–it’s more like pellets of recycled newspaper than whatever cat litter is. My dog really needed it when she had a bladder that small. She had a little pan of it in the corner of her (very large crate.) She understood just what it was for without any prompting, and I only had to change it about every three or four days, with scooping several times a day. It was a little pricy, but it was temporary. She was definitely over it by about 4 1/2 months once her bladder control was better. There is also a Purina brand you can get on Ama_on but I like the Petco version better. It absorbed better and had a fresher scent.
As for the whining, this is pretty normal. They are used to sleeping in a big clump with their litter, and being alone is very scary. Definitely cosign the suggestion that puppy be in the same room as you. You could also put a T-shirt that has your scent on it in with her. As a last resort, they do make these heatable frisbee-type things that you can heat in the microwave and wrap in the accompanying pouch. They are warm and some puppies love them–my lil lady did not because I adopted her during summer.
I also highly recommend Cesar Milan’s “How to Raise a Perfect Puppy” and the Monks of New Skete’s book on puppies. They taught me all sorts of things about their physical and emotional development that I simply did not know, and that helped me be a better puppy mama. Get thee some “Nature’s Miracle” enzyme spray for accidents, and bitter apple spray to deter chewing on things that should not be chewed.
You didn’t ask, but I also wanted to say that I think you’re doing a great job in terms of scheduling. Puppies need a lot of stimulation and potty breaks. If you do go the puppy litter route, you might consider getting a blue plastic tarp from Home Depot, the litter box and a playpen so that puppy can play and go potty. Walking is also great once your puppy is old enough (due to parvo risk). When my puppy was that small, I carried her in my arms and we went for walks in my ‘hood so she could get used to new sights, smells and sounds and get some stimulation outside my apartment. I don’t know if that’s possible given your puppy’s size, but definitely consider that. My pup also loved going to Target (they love dogs!) and “shopping.” (Yes, yes I am that crazy dog mom.) Even though she is tiny, she is probably old enough to go to puppy playgroup on the weekends or one night a week, and I definitely suggest you look into this. Puppies need “dog play” to mouth and wrestle and it’s really helpful in socializing your pup, so see if there is a Petco or independent store that does puppy play too. She will love it!
Good luck! I know you’re doing great!
ANP
I love you, internet stranger! Thanks for all of the great tips and the vote of confidence. Did you find that puppy litter delayed the potty training stage? I’ve read that some people think that about puppy pads…
MJ
Nope…my pup knew to use litter when she needed it, but was perfectly happy going outside too, when we did walks. I think that litter is much closer to soil than pads are, which might be the difference. Or maybe that my lil pup was just a puppy prodigy :)
A Professional Dog Trainer
please no to cesar milan. he is a tv trainer who is in it for ratings, not long term care. Tons of research to support this! http://www.care2.com/causes/why-the-dog-whisperer-has-dog-training-entirely-wrong.html for example. His methods often create bigger problems later and are not a good fit for anyone other than the companies who advertise on his network. PLEASE do not do this! http://www.livescience.com/5846-critics-challenge-dog-whisperer-methods.html
Go to local pet chain and ask about puppy training courses. You may even be able to hire one of the trainers for at home help, in order to start off on the right foot, then add in training and socializing.
MJ
I do realize his methods are controversial, but his discussions of dogs’ need to dig, how much dogs need to walk (minimum) and their physical development was very helpful. He had a lot of exercises to channel digging and other bad behaviors that were very helpful. I don’t believe in any of his “alpha-ing” or “being a pack leader” stuff, but he does actually understand the physiology and innate breed characteristics (his book follows four different puppies) and it was very helpful for that.
Hildy
Agree, agree! We used many of Cesar’s tips with our rescue dog early on and I swear it made things WAY WORSE. Agree that dogs need lots of exercise, but that’s pretty standard advice these days. That said, pet store trainers frequently have little to no actual experience or training – go with a reputable trainer. I’d recommend asking at your vet.
MJ
One more thing–you may also want to consider withholding water–like not allowing her to free drink. It’s better if you only give her water once an hour or so (if you’re home) and take it away a few hours before bedtime so that you’re not dealing with No 1 so often. Some puppies don’t really understand how to self-regulate, so you have to help them. You, of course, need to be really careful with this, that you don’t forget to put water out. But it worked very well for us.
Anon
What breed?
Miz Swizz
This was us 2 years ago. We had our sights on an older dog and fell in love with an 8-week-old pup. We brought him home knowing jack squat about puppies and muddled through. He’s the best and it was totally worth it.
Things that helped:
1. blankets and towels in the crate so pup can burrow in and feel warm and cozy. We also moved the crate to our room after the first night and he did well with the pile of old towels and being near us.
2. clean the crate really well after an accident. We bought some Nature’s Miracle spray and would clean the crate out after every accident. He would be fine for about 3 hours and anything past would go in the crate. We wanted to make sure he knew that wasn’t his spot for going and I think he did but his little bladder just couldn’t handle it.
3. We tried puppy pads and he was more interested in pulling them off the floor than using them. Luckily a local dog rescue was glad to take them off our hands.
4. Regulate their water. They don’t so you can let them drink with meals or after playing but either pick the bowl up or only give them a little water. It was better for us to pour a little bit in the puppy-sized bowl and see if he went in search of water than us pick it up and put it down.
A friend of mine uses bells to help know when the dog needs to go out but ours got used to standing by the door to ask to go out. I think between 3-4 months old was when he quit peeing in the house so I think patience and a boatload of paper towels will be your best tools for now.
Anon
DH and I are planning to go to Nicaragua in December. Should we be concerned about Zika if I’m not pregnant and never plan to be?
anon
…no? do you get worried about catching the flu when you’re abroad?
Anonymous
No.
Anonymous
No. If you’re not pregnant or TTC, Zika is at most a mild flu. 80% of people don’t even have symptoms.
BabyAssociate
+1 to this
Anonyma
Can I get a reco for a very basic “my first BCP”? Believe it or not, I’ve never been on a BCP my whole life. Married with kids, don’t want any more. Not interested in IUDs.
Obviously I want maximum functionality with minimum mood swings and other hormonal side effects. Hah.
Nati
Your doctor really needs to recommend one based on your unique needs. I think in general they will try you on the lower dose pills and work up if you have issues (with your skin, spotting, etc). I started on Alesse and then was on Yasmin for many years before I started getting irregular bleeding and then switched to Marvelon. Every woman responds differently so we can’t really recommend one. You just have to start where your doctor says and keep trying.
BabyAssociate
+1, I don’t know may people who have stuck with the first pill they were ever prescribed, you have to see what works for you.
lawsuited
I started on Ortho Tri Cyclen when I was a teenager, and tried to switch to 2 or 3 low-dose pills in my 20s because my friends were all raving about them but without success. I am overweight, which is likely why the low-dose pills are not great for me, underscoring why it’s so important to see what your family doctor recommends versus choosing the pill your best friend takes.
anon in sv
In contrast, I was on Orthocyclen forever, then when my insurance changed, I had to switch. I switched to Yasmin and it was a nightmare for me.
Ditto that you’re going to end up trying several before finding one that suits you. We all react differently to different formulations.
BabyAssociate
I think the mood swings can really vary by person. BCPs friends have had lots of success with did not work well for me emotionally at all. For example, Yaz was an absolute disaster for me as a teenager. Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo worked well emotionally, but I found I got more spotting than I wanted and you can’t take it continuously.
Are you trying to get rid of your period too? I’ve been taking Emoquette continuously for a few years, no problems.
Anonny
The low dose ones are really only effective for women under 140. So keep that in mind before asking your doctor. My doctor mentioned that lots of women insist on the low dose ones even when they’re too heavy and it leads to a lot of unplanned pregnancies.
Anonymous
Vasectomy.
Wildkitten
lol
Anonymous
Srsly though, when you are married and done with kids, the answer is vasectomy.
SF to Stanford
I am attending a lecture at Stanford in a few weeks, and I will also have to make a stop for work in San Fransisco. Should I stay in SF or in Palo Alto? Any hotel recommendations for either?
To get from wherever I stay to wherever I don’t, the google suggests Caltrain. Is Caltrain a good option, or should I just rent a car?
Anonymous
Stay close to where you need to be in the morning… The commute either way is terrible.
I’d personally take Caltrain/Uber and avoid renting a car, which has additional parking costs and hassle.
Wildkitten
Caltrain is a good option.
MJ
Traffic on the Peninsula has gotten very bad. Caltrain is not super-efficient, and while it does drop off near Stanford, Stanford is HUGE and so you won’t want to say, schlep your suitcase with you from the Caltrain to the lecture at Stanford because the Caltrain is .5-1 mile from almost anything on campus. So if you stay in SF, you can take Caltrain, but then I would try to cab or Uber to where you need to be at Stanford. It’s not a short walk to anything on campus from the Caltrain.
If you need hotel recs for Stanford, the Garden Court Inn in Palo Alto and the Westin are good bets (Garden Court being downtown, so it has access to some restaurants and places to grab drinks). The Westin is sort of on this weird overpass halfway between downtown and Stanford, so less great, but it has a cool koi pond.
If you elect to stay in SF, I would look for something either in the Financial District or in SoMa, both of which are a short uber or bus ride to the Caltrain. Do not stay in the Tenderloin. It’s really sketch–like actually scary.
Renting a car could be the solution unless you are trying to get to Palo Alto during rush hour, in which case it’s about a 90 min – 2 hour drive (yes, really! for only 35 miles) and parking at Stanford can be very difficult (and is pricy).
I vote Ubers = Caltrain or stay in PA, if the event is in the morning.
Page me if you need more Palo Alto suggestions. I lived in the area for many years and there’s some absurd Silicon Valley people watching (Rosewood Hotel in Menlo Park or Philz Cafe on Alma for sure).
SF to Stanford
This is so helpful! Thank you very much. It sounds based on my schedule like I should stay in SF. The SF work stop is in the morning, and PA is in the evening. Unfortunately, my work stop is in the Tenderloin, and it looks like staying nearby is not a good option. Do you know any fun hotels in the Financial District or SoMa? I have done the basic touristy things of SF and would like this time to be closer to some local restaurants (whatever is opposite of the wharf, etc). Thank you all for the helpful responses!
SF Hotels
Hotels near Union Square might work well for you. The Hilton Union Square, or anywhere north or east of it in the area surrounding Union Square, would be quite close to your Tenderloin location (very short Uber/taxi, or walkable depending on your level of comfort), and you’d have access to a variety of shops, restaurants, etc (not all touristy either–the adjacent residential neighborhood, north and west of Union Square, offers interesting things). I live nearby-ish and find it to be a more active, interesting neighborhood than the Financial District or SoMa.
Alternatively, I had family stay at the Holiday Inn Golden Gateway (on Van Ness, at California-ish) earlier this year, and they were very happy. I’m not sure how many, if any of the following items apply to you, but: the transit access is excellent; there are a couple of grocery stores (Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods) nearby; there are a number of restaurants close by; and it would be easy to get wherever you want to go in the Tenderloin.
Best eye cream?
So I just saw a bunch of pictures from the wedding I was in over the weekend and am not at all pleased to note that the skin around my eyes is really beginning to show my age. Or, possibly, my mother’s age? It’s not great. Does anyone have any recs for an eye cream that works for sensitive/rosacea-prone skin? I’m in my 30s.
Marshmallow
I have eczema, and the Supergoop eye cream does not irritate my skin. I like that it has SPF.
I also highly recommend the Shiseido retinol eye mask patches. They are $$$ but I saw an instant difference in crows’ feet and fine lines after the first use– seriously. I’ve been using them once a week for a few months and they do not irritate and have really improved the look of my undereyes.
Anonymous
Sunglasses.
Hollis
I’ve been trying not to shampoo daily, but any day I skip shampoo, my scalp feels itchy and oily. Is this one of those things where every one just has different reactions to things? When I hear that people can shampoo once a week, I can’t fathom it (and I’m envious too).
BabyAssociate
I shampoo once a week! I never wear my hair down, so I’m at the point where clean hair is useless to me. I don’t really use product and clean hair is very slippery.
I will say that when I started reducing my hair washing it was a gross couple weeks. It’s definitely hard to break the cycle, but the itchiness and oiliness does go away! Maybe try wearing your hair up while you’re getting into a new routine?
Anonymous
Why are you trying not to shampoo daily? I do it every day or my hair feels gross and oily and itchy. Fortunately, hot running water is a thing where I live so this isn’t a problem.
I really think it’s not clean to shampoo only once a week.
BabyAssociate
Time mostly and shampoo can be pretty harsh on your hair if you do it everyday. My hair also felt gross if I didn’t wash it everyday, until I stopped doing. I live in the south, so in the summer I’ll wash 2-3 times a week.
Pretty sure there’s no blanket rule saying its unclean to only shampoo once a week.
CMT
I read that it’s bad for your hair to shampoo it every day, but I have always done that and my hair looks and feels fine. Is it bad because it makes your hair dry or something? Because that’s not what happens for me. Am I missing some crucial piece of hair health? (Genuinely asking. I really have no idea.)
Anonymous
Exactly. My hair is perfect with daily washing, nasty without. Why mess up a good thing?
BabyAssociate
I think it’s definitely an “everyone is different” thing and definitely varies with hair length/colour/texture. But there’s a cycle to hair washing too; your scalp gets used to your routine to come extent. I switched to sulfate-free shampoo about 2 years ago and have definitely found that makes a difference in dryness.
Honestly, I really like the timesaving of not shampooing everyday during the cooler months!
Anonymous
+1
I have had multiple experienced hair stylists tell me to wash many hair less, and one who pushed once a week (no way for me……). Yes, it is rough on hair, unnecessary, oil stripping blahblah…. I wash every 2-3 days, as mine is oily. I use a touch of dry shampoo th night before a day I will skip shampoo.
Anonymous
I too am an oily haired individual. I’ve done no poo, co washing, shampoos for oily hair, shampoos that moisteize, shampoos that control dandriff, TGel, etc etc etc. IMHO I think some people just have oilier scalps than others. My dad has the same thin oily hair and scalp that I do, and his dad (my gramps) also had the same hair. Similarly I seem to have inherited skin that is more prone to skin infections that run through the line. I’ve been told that PCOS, which I have, is linked with oilier scalps as well. No idea if that is true or not, but seems plausible.
Marilla
Everyone is different for sure, but it takes about 2 weeks to a month to adjust your washing schedule. My hair felt and looked oily for the adjustment period, but it was totally worth it. Maybe try it out on a vacation first? I wash my hair 2x a week now.
Bonnie
Your hair will adjust with time. I used to shampoo every day but now do it every other or third day.
Hildy
I tried so hard to reduce shampooing – for two entire months I went around with greasy hair in hopes that my scalp would adjust and produce less oil, then I gave up and went back to shampooing daily and never looked back. I think for some people it just doesn’t work – particularly if you’re blonde.
anon
Have you tried dry shampoo? You might have to try a bunch of different options, but there was a post here recently about reader favorites that would give you a good place to start.
Alternatively, have you tried “washing” your hair on off days just without shampoo? Or only use conditioner? I can’t use conditioner on my roots or my hair looks too limp, but I find that the process of getting my hair wet and massaging my scalp as if I were using shampoo helps some.
Parfait
I shampoo every other day in the summer, every third day in the winter. Dry shampoo is your friend – it’ll take that oily sheen away and give you some volume. I like Klorane for its non-aerosol packaging. It lasts forever and I can dump the dregs of the old bottle into the new one so there’s no waste.
Call me cold, but...
Just found out my mother’s abusive monster of an ex has died. I’m just so happy he’s no longer poisoning the world. He abused my siblings and me, too, but never laid a hand on his own kids. My brother has PTSD due to him. I left home at 15 and moved in with an alcoholic relative to get away from him. My relationship with my mother is permanently damaged and I haven’t seen most of my family for 20 years.
He’s gone, he’s really gone!
anon
ding dong the witch is dead!
anon
I am really sorry to hear that this individual caused you and your brother so much pain. I went through a similar circumstance when I found out that my abusive ex-bf died in an auto accident. Consider investing in some therapy to help with the “emotional housekeeping” you will need to do in the near future.
Call me cold, but...
Thanks, but this bastard was out of my life a LONG time ago. This is all the closure I need and it’s sweet.
Anonymous
I’m with you girl.
Justice, just too late.
Hope you are close with your brother.
Good luck.
Godzilla
I have this thing in the pink heart shaped version. It is STRONG.