Thursday’s Workwear Report: Shine Pleat-Front Blouse
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I have a blouse from a few seasons ago very similar to this one from Ann Taylor, and it’s one of my most-worn winter items.
The dark purple color is shockingly versatile (I wore it with olive pants last week and I thought it looked great), and the slightly longer length means that I can easily tuck it into any of my pants or skirts.
I love the way they’ve styled it with ivory pants, but if you’re someone who is commuting through any kind of wintry slush this time of year, you might be better off sticking with black or gray.
The top is $59.50 at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XLP. It also comes in “autumn rose.”
Looking for something similar? Ann Taylor has a number of washable mixed media pleat blouses of the non-shiny variety. For plus sizes, check out this reader-favorite NYDJ blouse.
Sales of note for 1/16/25:
- M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
- DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
- Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
- L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Sephora – 50% off top skincare through 1/17
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Summersalt – BOGO sweaters, including this reader-favorite sweater blazer; 50% off winter sale; extra 15% off clearance
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+
Any ladies here going to the SFIG conference in Las Vegas? What is the dress and vibe like? Business formal attire and (because it’s Vegas) lots of standing and walking?
I am not going to this specific conference but I go to lots, so hopefully this helps:
1) Don’t even think about bringing heels. Not even for a dinner. Especially in Vegas, the dinner can be a mile away.
2) The conference rooms will be cold no matter where the conference is held. Bring an extra layer. I like a pashmina for this because I can shove it into my tote.
3) When they hand out the conference stuff with your lanyard, just take the lanyard and whatever else you’ll really use. You especially don’t need that tote bag or crappy backpack that says SFIG 2024. In my experience, they’re usually glad to have a couple of extras when you refuse it.
4) Sit next to randos in breakout sessions and meals and introduce yourself. That is the whole point of the conference!
5) Sit up front. As a frequent speaker, I will tell you I can’t stand it when it’s standing room only in the back with two rows of empty chairs up front. Come on down!
6) Ask an informed question during Q&A if you possibly can, if only to give the speaker a chance to call on someone other than the dude who has decided to mansplain the topic the speaker with expertise just presented in the guise of a “question.” Thank you!
#1a – and good luck with cabs and ubers. Lines to get cabs can be 30+ minutes and ubers take longer. Wear flats.
For the first time, I’m taking the last two weeks of the year off. Hoping to have a mix of fun, down time, and a little bit of productivity (spring cleaning, enjoying long workouts).
Single, no kids, family is nearby so I’ll spend a few nights there around Christmas but no travel needed. My mom is a teacher so she’s off the same 2 weeks, I have some friends who are also off.
I don’t want to waste time vegging, but also I’m starting grad school (part time) in January so want to veg (and deep clean or make some freezer meals) while I can! But also want time to enjoy my time off – I never, ever take 2 weeks in a row!
Good for you. Making freezer meals is a smart move. Enjoy your break! I love to cook during long holidays so I can freeze and have good healthy meals at the ready.
Plan out some specific things to do. Go see Christmas lights, a movie during the day, wake up late and then go for a coffee and a mid day yoga class, whatever. Plan some things with your friends so it doesn’t feel wasted. One thing I really learned from this site and have found to be true is that just veg-ing doesn’t really make you feel rejuvenated.
Also definitely deep clean and organize everything for school, and look up and make some new freezer meals. It’ll start you off well.
It might just be me, but I find that making soups with some music on in the background can be an easy and almost meditative activity. If you just made two soup batches each week and froze them individual servings, you will be set for some easy meals where you just add salad, or bread,
or on one of THOSE nights, just a nice bowl of soup that required no real effort.
Yay! Two weeks is a nice break.
In your shoes, here’s what I’d do:
– make plans with your friends that are also off – dinner, drinks, see a play, go shopping, etc.
– Go to a cultural event to two (can be combined with item 1)
– fix the small, annoying things in your home – creaky hinges, dripping faucet, etc.
-zhuzh up your office and work space, since you’re starting grad school, and pick up some nice highlighters/pens/notepads
– allow at least one or two days to “rot” as the kids say :)
Plan something fun and new/extra out if the house for the first two days off. Something you’ll love to have time for, but rarely do, whether a choral concert, museum day, lights safari. Extra.
Don’t start with regular weekend activities, that can make your lovely time off feel like a long weekend. Extra!
Would you let your kid quit a sport or activity because of feeling self-conscious about weight? I just had an interesting conversation with my cousin about this. Her parents let her quit immediately, no questions asked, and she never did the sports (volleyball and skiing) again. The plus side is that they took her feelings seriously and cared. My parents did not let me quit and did not engage with me about feelings, but I stuck with the sports (also volleyball and skiing, plus basketball and soccer) through high school and then intramurals in college and ended up with a lot of benefits, including to my self-esteem. I wish my parents hadn’t been so harsh about it (“you’re not quitting and that’s that”) and my cousin wishes she had been encouraged to overcome her insecurities. Hard to say how to handle those situations.
My post cut off early, but I was going to add that ideally parents would be sensitive and loving, but when it comes down to it, do you let the kid quit or not?
Surely there’s no blanket “yes or no” way to answer that question. Doesn’t it depend so much on the surrounding circumstances and kid (age, social pressure, personality, etc.)? It’s probably also a very hard question to get “right” without your kids wishing you’d done something differently when they get to be adults (like you and your cousin each wish your parents had been different in some way).
If weight was the only reason, I would be hesitant, but I am going through a series of quitting activities with my own tween now and I’m trying to be understanding about it. We require them to think about it for at least a couple of weeks and we never allow anyone to quit before a practice or a competition. (i.e., you can’t quit just because you don’t want to go today.) But if someone is truly no longer interested in a sport or activity, life is too short to force it. I feel like that doesn’t usually make people love it more.
For volleyball, what did/do the uniforms look like? I wouldn’t have been caught dead in my high school’s volleyball uniforms and never tried out for any sport that had revealing uniforms as a requirement to participate. I didn’t have weight issues, but kids were so cruel and being in those clothes would have made it 1000x worse.
This was before the age of booty shorts in middle school volleyball, but they were still above-knee spandex.
Not who you’re responding to but Im going to take issue with the idea of “before the age of booty shorts.” Volleyball players in certain schools used to wear straight up daisies aka lollipops aka spankies aka just what you’d wear UNDER a cheerleading skirt. As pants. As their uniform. Of course girls were self conscious and hesitant to wear that. It was so unnecessarily skimpy when shorts would have been fine. Hopefully it’s not still a thing?
It’s still a thing, at least in my part of the Midwest. My 7 year old is already getting turned off volleyball because of the uniforms. Such a bummer. I don’t know why they can’t wear bike shorts or similar.
I think there’s a reasonable middle ground where you don’t let them quit right away but still make it clear that you hear their concerns. I think there’s also a difference between sports and if my kid was unhappy with swimming but willing to continue with volleyball and skiing, for example, that would be understandable. The important thing is that they continue to be active in some way (which may or may not be a formal sport) and have activities where they interact with other kids, which may not be sports related.
I was discouraged from playing sports as a tween (it was pay to play and we couldn’t afford it). I was not particularly athletic so it was not a big deal for me, but I do wish my parents had instilled some other exercise habit in me and that they had found an alternate option for social involvement (maybe volunteering). As an adult who can afford to do things, I have no regular exercise ethic and find it hard to make myself get out there and interact socially.
The self-conscious weight issue merits further exploration, and I agree that being sensitive to those feelings is important.
This was my experience as well.
My kids are young, so I am trying to develop my philosophy on this. Right now, I’m leaning towards making them finish out a commitment, but allowing them to quit. One of my kids got tired of soccer this fall. I made her finish the fall session, but did not sign her up again for soccer.
This was my parents’ approach, you could quit at the end of the season, but you couldn’t quit just because. We didn’t have issues with uniforms or weight though, so that’s a different discussion. The uniforms for high school volleyball, cheerleading, even track and cross country are quite revealing, so I could see someone struggle with wanting to quit to avoid those uniforms. Even the guys on the track and cross country teams felt uncomfortable in the super short shorts.
It really depends on the activity, the level they are competing and the where the weight concerns are coming from. The last component is the biggest and there are so many explanations. Weight could be what the kid is blaming themselves if they are struggling to keep up. If the weight concern is coming from other kids on the team (e.g., bullying) that’s the issue I’d want to delve into. The right answer might be to quit, or find another place to do it. If the concern is coming from the coach – you probably need to talk with the coach about what is going on, have a hard discussion if the kid is cut out to compete at an elite level, and/or find another coach. So, as someone who was heavily involved in figure skating, ballet and running – all I can say is the weight concern is normally a symptom of something else.
I feel like these decisions are always viewed differently in hindsight. I have asked myself this question with kids’ activities many times … chances are, they will resent me for something!
This Be The Verse
Philip Larkin
They may not mean to, but they do.
My parents didn’t force me to participate in activities that I didn’t want to do and I don’t force my kids. They are in 3-4 different sports/activities each that I never would have picked for them and I’ve tried two new sports in the last year. Life is too short to waste time doing things you don’t love.
I don’t agree. I didn’t love any of my sports but I appreciate the lessons they taught me about being accountable to a team and honoring commitments.
You can learn the same lesson doing a sport you like. My kids hate soccer, hockey and basketball. They love karate, skating and volleyball. The sport doesn’t matter. Let them finish the season and switch. It’s not a big deal.
Haha it’s cute to think my parents would have either view point. I was a girl so my activities were a nuisance and by 8 I had quit everything because it was clear that my parents priority was my brother’s hockey and they were resentful of having to pay for my (significantly cheaper, 90% less) activities and drive me there.
I had a similar reaction to this post (and many on here). My parents did not care about how I felt, my experience, or how well prepared I was for adult life AT ALL. My existence was a nuisance, and I’m always amazed (in a really wonderful way) by how thoughtful parents are on here about what their kids need and how they feel. It also drives home how not great my experience was, which is also what I need right now so I can stop feeling like I’m still on their emotional tether.
My mom’s texts are currently left on read, there’s a price for neglecting your kids.
oof. This response got me.
I guess it depends on the kid. My mother made me feel so much shame for wanting to quit anything ever. One of my many activities was horseback riding, which I loved in theory, but my instructor was so so harsh. I had panic attacks before and after every session and my mother still made me go until she couldn’t – I was on the floor sobbing when I could gasp enough air to breathe. She called me dramatic and has never let me live it down to this day. So maybe don’t be that parent.
A friend has a kid like this. Will throw an absolute tantrum to get out of their commitments. Not sure what the answer is. The friend is very afraid their kid will grow up not understanding teamwork or commitments.
Edited to add: without the obvious instructor harshness you experienced! The kids just want more time to play with their friends and get upset when they can’t control their own schedule due to sports commitments.
Attempted to edit: This kid is without the traumatic instructor experience you had. They just want more control of their time and get upset that they have to honor the scheduling commitments of their sports.
In that case, I would have them finish out the season and not sign them up for next season. Try again in a few years if the kid wants to.
But if the kid doesn’t want to go, why are you wasting time and money and your relationship with your kid to force them to do sports they don’t want to do?
Some kids need a lot more autonomy and agency than others. Children’s lives seem insanely controlled compared to how I grew up!
I may be crazy, but it’s not clear to me that an actual child is required to “understand teamwork or commitments.” Don’t they have their whole adult lives to be a cog in a machine?
Right. I guess in this case (I’m just a person to vent to on this one) the kid will just throw a tantrum and refuse to go, so there is no finishing the season in a meaningful way.
Then once the season is over, will say something along the lines of “I wasn’t feeling it this year, but definitely want to play next season.” So they have ideas of themselves as athletes, but make their parents lives a misery when parents try to get them to honor their own commitments.
Once the kids get old enough, short of threatening privileges, I can’t see how you force them to do anything if they don’t have the internal drive or commitment to teammates. So if they’re young, try to instill that early I guess.
Respond to Sr. Attorney: If you want to be an athlete, you have to show up for your team even if you don’t want to. I think that’s a lesson worth imparting if the child is up for it.
You’re describing a different situation. A panic attack is not the same thing as a tantrum.
Sounds like either ODD or PDA autism profile.
Well, plainly this child is not up for it. Maybe next year? If it were me I’d take them off the team and say “we’ll try again next year and maybe by then you will be able to understand team commitments.”
Coming back to say honestly if it were me I’d do my best to adopt an attitude of curiosity about what on earth is behind the tantrums. Depending on the age of the child, it doesn’t seem normal and maybe something else is going on.
The clear answer is letting them finish the season or part of a season where there is an appropriate break and then trying another activity.
An 8 year old crying on the floor is not learning anything about teamwork. They are learning that their parents care about a rec soccer more than their feelings.
Wow this was super invalidating. My mom called my panic attacks “tantrums” too.
Option C- listen to and understand the child’s concerns, find alternative ways to be healthy and active. Maybe in your cousin’s case quit volleyball, take up rock climbing, and quit ski team but ski as a family. Or continue to play volleyball, but in a less competitive rec league.
We are raising our kids to have a seat at the table about decisions where we talk about the end game/desired outcome and help them brainstorm how to get there. One of my kids likes being told what to do; the other one prefers to have the parameters (eg. you must be active X hours per week) and figure out how to meet the criteria in her own way.
A recent example is one kiddo who is 12 and wanted to quit her spring and fall field sports and was less enthused than usual about basketball this winter. It turns out she was more out of shape than DH or I realized (she is physically quite fit but her cardio wasn’t very good). We pushed her, pretty strongly, to run with us and had her lean hard into swimming this fall/early winter. She complained a fair bit (much dramatic floor-flopping and faux gasping for “her last breath”) but after 2 months her cardio has improved a ton and she is thriving in basketball season and excited for her spring field sport. She’s run two different 5ks (one was largely a walk; the other was a mostly run with a little walking sprinkled in) and she and I pick one day a week to work on sprints and then go for starbucks after.
I think if we did the cardio experiment and she was still not wanting to participate, we’d let her quit as long as she found something else to do with her free time.
Meanwhile forcing a 12 year old to up her cardio is insane behavior to me so I guess ymmv
We didn’t force her. Like, she’s 12, isk about the 12 year olds in your life but she’s not going to do anything she doesn’t want to do. But I did do things like talk her and her best friend into signing up for a 5k together, going for run/walks with her after school a few times a week (and she had the option to do them solo, with her sister, or with a friend…but she wanted to go with me).
It sounds way more “forceful” in re-reading what I wrote than it was. I made a calendar and told her we think it will help her improve, please trust us, and if she ran (or ran/walked) a mile on 10 days in a month she got a Sephora trip. We also went shopping for cute running outfits together.
I did a baseline run with her and it was just so clear she could improve quickly- her pace was like a 7 minute mile but she cramped fast. I told her if she cut her mile time from 12:30 to under 10 she got an extra $50 to Sephora. Kid put in the work and ran a 5k with her bestie on Thanksgiving dressed like a turkey and they finished the 3.1 miles in 30 minutes, which included some walking! She started basketball the week before Thanksgiving and told us she could easily feel the difference, she “wasn’t even tired!” and is super glad she signed up this season. My 12 year old even said these words (which I made her repeat on video because I will never hear them again) “you guys were totally right, I needed to run more.”
I think this is a wonderful approach. Kids need to be active and they need to understand the incentives. You seem to have checked these boxes.
Agree Roxie…. agree….
12
My parents weren’t huge fans of my main chosen activity (drama club) so it never really came up for me because they would have been delighted if I’d quit.
My eldest is a ballet dancer and given the prevalence of eating disorders in that world, I would let her quit over any kind of weight issue the hot second she asked. I’d rather eat the cost of lessons and the $100+ pointe shoes than have to pay for residential ED treatment. She’s not very serious (in no danger of going pro) but when that was more of a possibility, I was very deliberate in not sending her to schools or teachers that had a reputation in my city for having “skinny” dancers.
Generally, my kids have to finish out the term/season/camp before I let them quit something.
My BFF in highschool developed an eating disorder because of her ballet teacher.
I’m so sorry that happened. There is no reason for teachers to act like that or for schools to support that kind of thing. Even assuming for the sake of argument that professional companies want X body type, most kids taking classes aren’t going to have a career in ballet.
If there is one thing I’ve learned from sitting outside ballet studios for the past 10 years, it’s that genetics play a huge role in body type and size. The skinny short girls, by and large, have skinny short parents. Same for the girls who have broad shoulders or bigger-than-average chests or long legs.
Our daughter developed an ED at 14-15, and now at 21 continues to manage it. Her passions at that age for hunter-jumper show riding and cheer definitely complicated the body image issues.
She met many dancers, skaters, and star athletes (soccer and volleyball) in residential treatment. The only guys were weight lifters and wrestlers.
Unfortunately, I’m not surprised that there were no male dancers. Even if you look at the students at the big big ballet schools, the boys can be short or tall or broad or slight.
I’m so happy my daughter moved from ballet to jazz and hip/hop. It’s the same studio but there’s just something about ballet. Apparently my daughter felt the same way because she switched over the outfits ;).
My husband and I live in a city in the US we dont love, for my job. He WFH. We really want to have a 5-10 year (ideally sooner) plan to be elsewhere and are having a hard time picking a place or more so a logical way to approach this. Our friends are scattered and family is all in our home country. How does one approach this absent any ties and timelines, other than wildly speculating one day to next.
Try the samegrassbutgreener subreddit. People post their criteria and others weigh in on good possible places to live.
I also like to read the subreddit for different cities/areas to get a feel for the everyday issues that residents face.
What don’t you love about your current location? Is it weather? Distance from other places? Landscape? Politics? What would you prefer these be? I think you start with that in essentially a pro/con list. But as someone who lives in a location where a lot of people are escaping CA to move to, I will say that there is no “perfect” location and living somewhere is different than visiting somewhere.
I agree, I would first identify what it is you do not like about your current city, and then make a list of places that you think would address those concerns. Once you have narrowed it down, I would try to spend an extended period of time in each location if you have that flexibility. Because I send the sentiment that living somewhere and visiting somewhere are very different realities.
List all places that sound good to you, then analyze which have decent work options for both of you (ideally several employers), and cost of living, other factors.
Going through a version of this now.
What helps: visit different places. Consider what you *need* and use that to create a broad list. The list of needs should be pretty short, like 3-4 items. Think, “weather you don’t hate” or “better career opportunities for you both.”
All those nice to haves? We aren’t going to get into that yet. What you are going to do is take a week or two, book a Residence Inn, and visit some cities that meet your needs. Go to events that you normally go to – the local running club, the political groups, an industry meetup – and see how you like the people there. Drive around, see how you like the traffic. Shop in the grocery stores, see how you like the selection. Walk from your hotel to a coffee shop and ask yourself if you’re taking your life in your hands or if you enjoy it. Check out the local hangout spots and decide if you feel at home or if it’s that random place you happen to be getting an after-work drink at.
You will figure out pretty quickly which places click and which are just okay.
I’m also going through this– I’m curious what cities you’ve checked out and which ones you’ve liked/disliked. Obviously your priorities won’t be the same as mine, but I’m wondering what you’ve found.
Yeah, if you don’t physically go and visit some potential places to move to, you’re just daydreaming. And moving somewhere you’ve never been before because you think it’ll be an improvement sometimes works out, more often doesn’t.
My husband and I have visited so many places. And then we get there and there’s no downtown. There are strip malls, there’s a Lowe’s and a Walmart or Sam’s Club and various fast food places but it often feels like there’s no “there there” if you know what I mean. DEFINITELY visit!
I’m the one who wrote the comment and… yeah.
You can’t just visit to sightsee, either. When you’re on vacation, you do different activities than you would do if you lived there. You go to different (nicer) restaurants. You often stay in a different area (downtown versus the suburbs you might live in). You have to live with the people there, and it’s best to find out early if you click or not.
Some things to consider: How close do you want to be to a major airport? Do you value access to certain outdoor activities? Assuming natural disasters and extreme weather become more common, what issues are you willing to deal with? How much do you care about public school quality? Do you have medical conditions that require proximity to specialists? Do you want a large population of your own religious or ethnic group? Do you want to be in a transplant city or an area people tend to stay their whole lives? Do you prefer walking or driving? How much do you value access to quality restaurants, certain ethnic cuisine, or the arts? What’s the maximum amount of time or money you’ll spend when traveling to family? Would a certain time zone be preferable for your jobs? Where do you tend to go on vacation? (if you’re big Europe people then the west coast is tough)
Good comments, and I would plan ahead for the medical care piece. You may not have conditions right now that require ongoing care, but they tend to pile up the older you get and if you’re looking at 10 years plus, it’s likely something will fall into that bucket.
Medical care is a big piece of what’s keeping my husband and I where we are right now. He’s mid 60s and I’m late 50s. My relatives in small cities/small towns have gone through a lot of healthcare nightmares over the last few years. My brother in law can’t seem to get a reputable surgeon to do a knee replacement anywhere within a 4 hour drive. Which ultimately should be fine, but makes me wonder what happens when there’s an emergency.
Yes. I didn’t realize what a big deal it is if there’s no local trauma center (and just because there’s a hospital doesn’t mean it’s a trauma center!).
Is the plan for you to retire, to find a remote job, or to find an in person job? If you’re looking for a job, you need to at least consider whether it’s a good location for a potential remote job (time zone and proximity to an airport might matter) and if it’s an in person job, then obviously you should target places that are both good for jobs and that you’d like to live.
MarketWatch has a “where should I retire” tool, which is also a decent “where should I live” tool.
we’re also going through this, with the complicating factor that all of our time off is spent visiting family.
i think being near an international airport is a huge factor in our next move, but that can change if airlines merge/move/change — the one by us used to go to europe at least, and now only goes to the caribbean.
I think this sort of silky shirt looks dated.
Why? The material? The draping?
This board has made me incredibly self-conscious about looking “dated,” even though I’m old enough to get over it. Plus the perjorative “dated” has so much problematic stuff attached to it.
I’m not self conscious. Some posters on here are ridiculous w their “dated” comments. I ignore them.
Some things are a style choice. Dresses and cross body bags, as a general option, are never dated.
I wear silk shirts all the time. Not dated. Classic.
I think it’s a combination of the material (silky), the fact that it looks synthetic (seeing more natural-looking stuff, whether they are actually natural fibers or not), the cut just a bit, and the general fact that “blouses” or whatever you call this kind of shirt aren’t really being worn semi-formally the way they were 15 years ago, in the heyday of the cute office look (blouse and a colorful pencil skirt, blouse and bright tailored ankle pants and wedges, etc). This would probably still work under a blazer for a formal look, but it doesn’t feel current to me either.
What makes it out of date is the neckline and the fabric. Adding a collar, removing the thick band on the V neck or removing the pleat all would make it more modern. The fabric is pretty shiny which was much more popular maybe 10 years ago.
But also, I am pretty “fashion forward” and I still wear clothes from 15 years ago regularly (I’m in my late 30s). I just style them differently now. I would wear this with a knit midi skirt to work or out to dinner with friends with wide leg light wash jeans and chunky sneakers.
Even when they were more popular I thought banded collarless necklines looked awkward. I had several of those Vince Camuto blouses and they just never looked quite right. To be fair I’m also someone who thought ballet flats dumbed down every outfit in their heyday.
It depends on your body type. I have a short neck and a large bust. Collars look so busy on me. I need long lines not choppy volume. The banded collarless tops look great on me.
Comments like this are super helpful to me. I struggle to see how fashion changes, and people breaking it down this simply for me is great, especially the comments about how to style the older look item to be more on point. Thank you!
I feel like this, too, and honestly what helped me a bit was seeing some of the SNL skits about Hillary Clinton through the years… like, even from 2008 when she ran against Obama to 2016 when she ran against that other guy, you can see the change. That’s not nec. something that I would have seen in my closet, even with weight and lifestyle changes, to be honest, I would have bought the same styles again, if they were available. But yeah this site has helped me think about how to style things differently or out vs. in vs. classic vs. comes back around but differently.
Eh, I love this sort of feminine top and it cycles in and out of fashion constantly. I think the key is making sure the rest of the look is more up to date – I’d style this today with a midi skirt and high boots with a wider shaft and block heels (a very ‘love story’ inspired look). An alternate option would be worn tucked into wide leg pants with a skinny belt and chunky loafer. In the early 2000’s I wore the same sort of blouse constantly with colored wool pencil skirts/’the skirt’, a statement necklace, and tights with pumps or slim knee high boots.
I have a hard time with midi skirts. I just find them so ugly and they cut into the absolute worst part of my leg. That said, I don’t think they’re dated, I think they’re for a particular body type and personal aesthetic that isn’t mine.
Similarly with pencil skirts, I still wear them, but yes, some colors go in and out of fashion, but I always own a black and a navy one. I wear silk shirts with these pencil skirts, and sometimes I wear them untucked with dress pants or high waisted trouser denim and a cardigan. It may not be a current look, but it’s classic enough to suit me.
What is ‘love story’? I Googled the phrase and it came back with a 1970s movie.
I think that’s what the poster meant. The fashion in that movie was iconic.
OP here and yes, was referring to the movie. Ali McGraw was peak fashion inspo for me in the 90s and I still love her looks today!
Honestly, I think there is a window where younger adults encounter a style that comes back around for the second time in their personal lived experience. They think that means the style is horribly dated, and they have an outsized fear of being labeled that way. Once they live a little longer and realize that is just how trends work, they are more able to enjoy the ones that work for them and pass on the ones that don’t.
THIS!! It’s probably happening for all of the mid-late 30-somethings now.
As a 30-something now, you’re right. It’s WILD to see the 90s stuff back in style. Funny to think it’ll probably go out of fashion and then come around again in another 30 years…
Well, it’s happening to this late-30s lady, who is mostly just wishing she didn’t toss so many things. Although honestly, I stepped up a notch in terms of quality in the last ten years anyways, so it’s not like I’d really be wearing my Limited and White House Black Market dress slacks around anyways.
That said, my first thought when I saw this pick was that it was a pretty color but a neckline style that I bet every one of us has at least one in their closet. Vince sells versions of these every season. So I appreciate that Elizabeth focused on the color as something that might entice you to buy it because it is a very pretty color and looks like it would go with many things. I won’t purchase because I have too many mediocre silk-ish (this one is polyester) pullover shirts in my closet already and I prefer shirts with a bit more interest to them, but the color definitely tempted me and I would call it neither dated nor fashion forward.
This is very insightful. I agree.
Jeebus, I give up. This is a standard work top. Is it high fashion? No. But I’d wear it, and so would most of my female colleagues.
This is a fashion blog. I assume readers have slightly more interest in fashion than the average working woman. No reason not to buy it, but it’s ok to discuss the merits and demerits.
Nah, it’s back in style. This was the standard look in workwear at mall stores when I was on my high school’s mock trial team circa 2000. This look was dated 10 years ago, but it’s modern (again) now.
Next we’ll get see through long sleeved blouses with button cuffs like they’re supposed to be worn at work.
I think it’s classic. It’s very flattering on a wide range of actual women, and that kind of thing never really goes out.
Right! It might not always be in the mall shop windows, but chances are that a woman who needs a silk blouse will always be able to find one somewhere. I get mine on poshmark. There are some cuts I hate, but like the above poster said, there are many cuts for a wide range of women.
A woman who needs a silk top is going to mostly find polyester tops like the featured one, unfortunately.
really? i feel like they’re everywhere now — quince, amour vert, boden, everlane, equipment, l’agence, etc.
This looks like a standard blouse to me. I don’t see anything dated here.
For what it’s worth, I own this shirt (maybe I’m not current!) and it’s not shiny at all.
These silky blouses are everywhere in the stores right now. Yes, we wore them in the past and they are in again.
Did anyone else read the NYT interview with Trump voters? For me, it is confirmation that a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding led them to their decision. I am okay with political differences, but these interviews suggest a disconnect from reality. And it is in line with my discussions with Trump voters in my sphere. How do we beat address this?
This is comical. It isn’t misinformation just because you don’t agree with it.
No, people were indeed wrong if they thought Obamacare is different from the ACA for example.
To say the least. We must be able to acknowledge ignorance so we can best address it – we don’t have to pretend straight-up falsehoods are just differences of opinion or act as though the main problem is coastal elites being snobs. Sometimes people are very, very wrong, and sometimes their ignorance and willingness to repeat lies causes others to get hurt.
This. This is my point.
I have to admit I am flabbergasted by the scores of people who continue to ascribe good intentions to Trump in essentially all instances, despite a clear track record of words and deeds to the contrary. It’s this seemingly blind affinity for him as a person, an appeal, that I simply cannot wrap my head around. I admit I find him repulsive in every aspect, and that others feel differently based on vibes I just can’t relate to is something I can acknowledge, but there is also a track record here. That track record is not “comes around to moderation,” nor is it “talks harshly to foreign foes instead of making nice with them.” He was nice to our enemies, harsh with our allies. That’s not opinion, it is history. He is not suggesting he will employ some kind of metric for who to deport based on contribution to society. He is not promising to take on the healthcare system to expand care for the people. He doesn’t have a plan for that at all. He was hawkish as President, not anti-war. His rhetoric about how terrible the United States is, including specific call outs of nearly every major city and multiple individual states, combined with his personal disdain for military personnel, and his repeated suggestions that the Constitution should be ignored or trashed, do not read ‘patriotic’.
people voted for Trump because they think it is going to make bread cheaper at the grocery store…i dont see how his economic plans could even begin to accomplish this
unfortunately this is why I think things will have to get really dire for a large number of voters before they change their vote.
I don’t think they’ll change their vote because things get dire. They’ll still believe it would be worse w/the other side.
The other side has a LOT of work to do if they want to rebuild trust.
Exactly. Those 30,000 lies Biden told in office have finally caught up to him . . .oh, wait, that was Trump.
I don’t disagree that the Dems have major issues, and that they made many a misstep, but there is no equivalency here. Well, I guess if what you mean is the GOP promises to F the people and the does F the people, you have a point. But what I see is Trump (separate from GOP).promising to help the people with the policies that the rest of the GOP admit are going to F the people and the voters going “I’m with Trump because he is the one guy who is going to help me.”
Exactly. That he said he wants to make things cheaper while promoting an economic plan that is guaranteed to do the opposite and having voters believe the top line is my frustration.
This is how it always works, isn’t it? If people feel financially stressed when Party A is in power, Party B wins the election. Rinse and repeat.
unless party B gerrymanders the @#$ out of everything, suppresses the vote, and maybe outright cheats. in which case, party B always wins.
Yes. But then the voters don’t need to say “I voted for Trump because he is the good guy in the room.”
He just said today (to Time) that he can’t bring down prices. Meanwhile, that’s why a lot of people voted for him, despite their misgivings.
People I know felt there were 100% odds Dems didn’t have their back no matter what they said since they’re owned by the donor class, but DJT is a crazy wild card so who knows. Any change > things remaining fundamentally the same.
(Yes it all makes me want to scream; people wildly underestimate the status quo vs. how much worse things can get)
Dems are owned by the donor class but the GOP are subservient to billionaires.
Same 10:51.
I also can’t overstate how dim most trump voters I know are. Really. I say that with compassion. He sounds like an idiot to me but he literally speaks in simple words that make sense to them. Imagine if nuance was confusing to you and big words were hard for you to understand. All your life politics was complicated and things like the economy and foreign policy were so confusing because you had no idea what people were talking about. You weren’t really curious enough to try to learn about them but you knew it was complicated. And now a man comes along who you literally understand, because he talks like you and your friends, who tells you it’s not complicated. He says it’s all super simple. Nothing was ever complicated, you were never stupid it’s just a bunch of bad people made you feel that way. Your instincts were right and all these egg heads are wrong. You don’t have to try, learn, grown or understand anything differently. You’d probably be maga too.
It’s probably worth asking what kind of world highly capable and intelligent people have created for people who are not.
I have small town relatives who voted for the orange man because they would not vote for the black lady. They would tell you that if they were here to talk about their decision.
They listened to “news” channels telling them the black lady was going to bring in a bunch more people dependent on government benefits that “they” would have to pay for. The relatives saying this are themselves 100% on government benefits. They think of themselves as honest, hard-working American patriots.
My small-town cousins would say the same thing, despite their entire existence being funded by government benefits.
this article scared the bejesus out of me because i think it’s right. the media on the right just does not care about facts, and that’s the dominant media in the US right now that most “regular people” are consuming. the nyt/wapo are not steering the conversation. (nor can they when they’re behind paywalls, I suppose.)
https://newrepublic.com/post/188197/trump-media-information-landscape-fox
This. Facts don’t matter. Need to convey feeling and intent and short simple explanations as to why something will or will not work. If it doesn’t fit in a tweet, it’s too complicated.
I honestly think there is no fixing it with the current generation of adults. We need to fund schools so the next generation of kids are capable of critical thinking and don’t get tricked.
I honestly didn’t even realize until I was an adult what a blessing my strict ‘check every source’ English teacher was. Who knows what path I could have been lead down without her.
The problem with this approach is that the current adults are perfectly fine with the government defunding public schools, so the next generation will be even worse at telling fact from fiction.
You’re unfortunately so right. It’s sad educating kids is political. We should not have a declining literacy rate.
And then you have the heritage project / project 2025 recommending women consume less education because it prevents them from having children. I can’t.
This is what I am so terrified of and demoralized by.
I don’t think well funded school districts are immune from graduating a bunch of MAGA students (far from it!).
this is why the voucher movement is so terrifying – they’re trying to make taxpayers pay for private schools, which can then teach WTH they want. jesus rode the dinosaurs to kill the ancient aliens, y’all.
Meanwhile there are already parts of the country where parents send their kids to charter schools so that they can learn about topics like the history of slavery in the US that are too touchy for the local school boards.
Boy, there is a deep willingness here to uncritically reduce 77 million people to a single stereotype, a willingness that seems misaligned with the purported education level of the target audience of this page.
It’s not a single stereotype, it’s understanding how deeply broken the US education system is that people cannot understand basic facts about governmental and economic functioning so that they can identify when leaders are misrepresenting their policies or proposals.
I can’t even explain how embarrassing it is to tell people in other developed countries that university is not low cost or free and that the students who are unable to be academically successful in university do not have access to trades training in high school and do not graduate at 18 or 19 with an option for university or skilled employment.
How wonderful it is that you are smart and enlightened, and how unfortunate it is that anyone who disagrees with you has been failed by an broken educational system.
You’re misrepresenting this poster with a snarky, unproductive response that does not engage with the point. No one said that *anyone* who disagrees with them (or who voted for trump) has been failed by a broken education system.
It’s not particular enlightened to be aware of how education systems are run in other countries. This is basic info available easily online.
‘m not clear how you disagree with me? Did I miss something where university education is free? Or where we graduate people who are not attending university into free community college or directly into skilled employment? I’d love to read about that.
I’m raising facts and you’re saying you disagree. If you think I’m misrepresenting facts, please bring evidence to the table instead of insults. A high school degree used to be free and enough to get a decent job. Now the standard to get a reasonably paid stable job is a community college or college education at a cost beyond the reach of most people. It’s disgraceful that people can’t get a decent life unless they are born with wealthy parents.
By glaring omission, that’s exactly what the comment I responded to did.
@ anon 1:17pm How very post-factual of you to read in what you decide to be ‘omissions’ into my comment instead of responding to the substance of the comment.
Also, interesting that you read a call for an educated populace with access to good skilled employment options as an attack on Trump supporters. An excellent education system benefits everyone.
I am surprised that you think the extremely broad, sweeping generalizations in your post constitute “facts”, and I am confused about why you think you were not primarily bringing insults to the table in your initial comment.
So I primarily disagree with your black and white, overly conclusive thinking and how you are presenting it. It doesn’t suggest a deep intellectual engagement with the ideas; it’s basically Twitter talking points.
Again, you’re insulting without actually providing any evidence. You say I’m not providing ‘facts’ but fail to identify how I have either misrepresented the nature of the education system in the US or in many other developed countries.
We have amazing colleges in the US but our public education system is clearly not serving the needs of the majority of the population and it is not producing voters who have the financial or political system education to critically assess the policies of either side. It’s not unreasonable to want a public education system to produce graduates that can get a reasonably paid secure job and to have a solid knowledge of the different parts of the governance system. Does every country have this? No but enough are doing better at this than we are that we should be looking to how to improve.
Sure. Here are the parts of your latest comment I think reflect shallow thinking.
> We have amazing colleges in the US but our public education system is clearly not serving the needs of the majority of the population
This is fundamentally untrue. Educational achievement, whether you measure it by degree completion or literacy rates, has steadily risen over the past century. Racial gaps in educational attainment have also steadily improved over the last 20 years.
I suppose it’s accurate to say that colleges don’t serve the “majority” of Americans, because the majority of Americans do not have a four year college degree. But college completion rates are at their highest percentage ever.
I do agree that the public educational system leaves plenty to be desired. So too, I think, do most conservatives. Issues like public schools creating a generation where 40% of fourth graders can’t read are real. But reasonable people can disagree on whether the solution is to further empower/dump money into existing systems or to empower/dump money into alternatives like charter schools. I really mean it when I say reasonable people can disagree on that: I don’t fully know where I sit on the issue, because I can see both arguments.
Don’t we have access to trades training in high school, though? That’s what vo-tech schools are.
I don’t think it’s widespread across the country that kids who are not going to university are able to graduated into pre-arranged electrician or plumber apprenticeships with most courses completed or as qualified hairdressers or preschool teachers etc.
Your dog whistle isn’t very subtle.
Magats are either uneducated or sociopaths taking advantage of the uneducated.
I am a liberal. I find these comments uneducated and stupid, and I find the rise in uncritical thinking and confirmation bias among supposedly educated liberals extremely disturbing.
How are comments which note that ‘Obamacare’ and ‘ACA’ are the same thing stupid? or showing ‘confirmation bias’?
Yes, there are some comments with posters referring to DJT voters that they know as ‘dim’ but how is that ‘uneducated and stupid’? They can have an opinion on the people that they personally know who have identified to them that they are DJT voters.
It seems that you are the one making sweeping generalizations that people are ‘uncritical thinkers’ because they have thoughts about their personal experiences that you disagree with.
Same.
As someone in a very-blue area who has MAGA relatives, I find people’s reactions interesting when I tell them that my parents voted for Trump in the last three elections. A lot of people ask my why I speak to my parents (it’s complicated), if my parents finished high school or college (both have graduate degrees), and whether I’m from a very rural area (no).
To be clear, I profoundly disagree with my parents’ political views, but they like that their stock portfolios are up and think he’s good for the economy. They also believe, against all evidence to the contrary, that none of the bad reproductive health stuff is happening or that LGBQTIA people are harmed by stuff like bathroom bills. At this point, I don’t know what would get them to vote D in a national election.
I think most liberals acknowledge that there are a percentage of Trump voters who only care about their own economic interests. But those people are never going to be convinced to vote for a democrat. If you are rich and only care about yourself, there is no point trying to convince you
I am going to Paris over the holidays. Any fun suggestions? I have been before so I have seen the main sights. Looking for good restaurants, fun shopping, and lesser known attractions. I’m staying in the 6th (with my husband, mid 30s).
Check out David Lebovitz dot com. He doesn’t post as much on his site anymore, but there’s still lots of posts about Paris restaurant recommendations.
Agree, and he’s posting a lot on insta and his substack instead. I love his post-market lives.
We did this amazing dinner in a small let’s say “at home supper club” and it was the highlight of our trip: https://www.eatwith.com/events/27149?date=2024-12-13
Also really enjoyed a cooking class (choux pastry for the win!) at http://www.lacuisineparis.com
reply with links in mod so check back
Fondation Louis Vuitton is worth a visit if you haven’t been.
I personally found it so overrated and not at all worth the trudge out there
I just got back from Paris and also stayed in the 6th. We enjoyed Georgette for dinner (small Parisian bistro). We did a walking tour with an American guy named Matt – this one was a ghost tour, but he does a lot of historical tours too, and has lived in Paris a long time and is very passionate about it. He was great, really enjoyed it. That one can be found pretty easily on Airbnb if you search for ghost tour.
If you want to do shopping, I liked the Sezane store near Le Bon Marche. Le Bon Marche itself was way too busy for us but we were there on a Saturday afternoon during prime Christmas shopping time, so it would probably be better on a weekday. I went a little crazy shopping for myself and my son at Le Petit Bateau (allll the striped sweaters) and now I imagine he and I look like little Parisians. :)
Also I would make the time to see the restored Notre Dame which just reopened. It was only a few weeks away from opening when we were there, and we could feel the excitement building. The restoration is truly amazing.
We got massages and pool time at Spa Clemens, and it’s a really nice space although the massage wasn’t that great. Near Spa Clemens in the 6th there was a really cute cafe called Maison Fleuret where we had coffees. Tiny space, lined with bookshelves.
If we had had more time, I would have done Fondation Louis Vuitton, as it was recommended to me by real Parisians.
I got double piercings in both ears in the spring and I’m still figuring out how to style them. If I go to jewelry websites for example, you only see one ear. Do most people go symmetrical? Suggestions on earring combos that you like?
And for formal events, it feels funny to have the extra hole, but I am often wearing bigger earrings and those don’t seem to pair. Help me out here! How do you style your double piercings?
I also got a second piercing in both ears in the spring and have this same struggle. I have been going symmetrical but am really looking forward to mixing it up. There’s a star and moon pair that I’m looking at and want to get to wear in the same ear, for example, and then would wear something else in the other ear. Right now I wear a lot of some gemstone in the main hole (I have several) and then small faux diamond in the 2nd one. If I’m wearing bigger earrings I usually don’t wear anything in the 2nd hole because there isn’t enough room.
I bought a few daintier but fun shaped earrings off etsy. Gingko leaf, stars, simple bar, circle that I mix and match in the second hole but symmetric on both sides. If it’s more conservative event, I don’t wear the second set. Just the lowest one.
If i’m wearing a flashier earring in the bottom one, I either don’t wear anything in the second or I wear the simple bar or small stud. Just depends on how I’m feeling.
I also have a helix piercing in one ear and wear a hoop 90% of the time but have some flashier options that I bust out every now and then
I like pearls so I might wear a bigger pearl stud in the front and a smaller pearl stud in the second piercing on each lobe. I have some David Yurman Starburst diamond encrusted studs that are small and I wear those in the second piercing often.
I also copy my 20- something daughter and wear two pairs of hoops or two dangling earrings if I can find a pair that I think looks to good together.
Has anyone who has had previously sensitive ears overcome that and can now wear earrings again? My ears get itchy and red whenever I wear any kind of earrings, but I’m wondering if they will “get used to” the metal and calm down after a few days of wearing tiny studs that have no nickel in them. They are actually titanium studs. Please share any experience you may have, as I would like to be able to wear earrings again on special occasions without walking around with red and itchy ears at those events.
there may not be any nickel in the earrings but are you sure there isn’t in the posts themselves? some discussion of other alternatives here, including sleeves for posts
https://www.reddit.com/r/IsItBullshit/comments/dxlk0o/isitbullshit_coating_earring_backs_in_clear_nail/
I went with teeny gold studs until my ears totally healed up. I think they were my piercing studs. I wore them for longer than suggested for initial piercing. Then I started over with only new earrings from a local bench jeweler who could assure me nothing allergenic had gotten into the mix, because they actually make their jewelry.
I have to leave earrings in 24/7 or my ears get itchy and red from anything at all, even clip ons where there is no metal in contact with my skin (they have foam or plastic). I have sensitive skin generally and I guess that holds true for my ears. I have a pair of diamond studs I just leave in all the time. My ears are much less cranky when I swap out some other pair of earrings, but sometimes they still act up.
+1 I have a pair of tiny hoops in my first holes and tiny studs in my second holes that I never take out and I have zero irritation. When I first put them in after a couple months of not wearing earrings they were super itchy and red.
I don’t think ‘getting used to’ is likely to happen. Unless there is an underlying reason that makes you very sensitive, and it goes away, that is. I’d rather expect adverse reactions to increase over time.
Yeah, you’ve got to start being really picky about the metals of you want to keep wearing earrings.
I wear 14 karat gold only until my ears settle down then that always seems to work. It also helps if the earrings are not heavy in any way. I also don’t sleep in them.
I cannot wear heavy earrings ever. Nap earrings (flat back) in whatever metal is none offensive also help. The length of the post in a lot of studs normally bugs me, same with some of the clasps that aren’t completely smooth.
I’m invited as a plus-one to an awards dinner-ish thing – it’s a block party at Universal CityWalk in Orlando. Totally stumped on what to wear and would appreciate any ideas – thank you!
Blingy jumpsuit?
I think fairly casual. I’ve been to a work block party there and it was a lot of outdoor food kiosks and music. A jumpsuit and reasonably comfortable shoes might be a good idea. There’s a fair amount of walking in that area from what I recall.
The earring post made me remember a question I’ve had for a while – can you re-pierce a piercing that’s already pierced? Idk if that makes sense. I got my ears pierced at Claire’s when I was a kid. One side always gives me trouble getting earrings in. I think the hole is crooked or something? Idk. I have to work the earring from the backside to the front before it will thread through the correct way. And then it’s irritated and usually gets infected so I have to treat it but keep a stud in or it’ll close up. I don’t really want to wait for it to close and completely start over. Can a professional piercing person correct the poorly done piercing?
I had this done for a hole that was too close to the bottom of the lobe. I went to a dermatologist. They stitched the hole closed, i waited for it to heal and then repierced it.
My mom got her ears pierced in the 1960s with an ice cube, a needle and half a potato. Probably a glass of vodka too.
She could never fit anything other than the thinnest wires in those piercings so she rarely wore earrings.
So when my sisters and I were old enough to get our own ears pierced as young teens and went to a jewelry store with a piercing gun in the mall, she saw that it wasn’t as scary as her experience had been and got her ears re-pierced. She never went without earrings again, and she could wear a standard earring after that no problem
Lol, this was my mom and aunt’s story too. And they were the children of a surgeon and a nurse, who were predictably horrified by this at-home piercing. :)
This is my story, but no potato and no vodka.
Those were the second holes. The first were a needle and Nova ne, performed by a dentist
Definitely consult with a well-reviewed local piercer.
We’re looking at an interstate move for my husband’s work in about a year. I work in tech, and I’ve been considering looking for a remote job I could keep through the move, rather than having to look for a new job at the same time as the move. However, I’m parenting a toddler and my current job lets me work 4 days a week, and thinking about losing that extra day of weekend… I am filled with dread and despair. Obviously looking around isn’t a commitment, but I haven’t been able to muster the motivation to look. Advice?
A remote job could also be flexible. I work in a slightly different time zone so my hours are 7am – 3pm. If I need a half day for a weekend I can usually leave work a little early too. It would work well with a kid.
I work remotely ~7-3. Put out feelers. Worst case keep your good thing!
Agree with the other posters that there is no harm in looking. Fully remote jobs can (but not always) come with a lot of flexibility.
As your kid gets older, a flex schedule may be more helpful than 4 days in person. Depends on a lot — school hours, if you need / can get before or after school activities, etc.
FWIW, I work in the office for 3-5 hours a day, but each day flexes a bit with working remotely depending on the day. This year remote work included a child’s surgery, a parent’s death, and another parent’s hospitalization. I would have lost a butt-in-seat job or one with less commitment to flexing with me.
Maybe split the difference and do some prep work then look later? Research local companies in your new area & those with remote opportunities there, refresh your cover letter/resume based on what’s most available there, find networking possibilities.
Remote work can still be very much tied to certain states due to taxes and local laws. If you’re moving within the same region (or looking at companies with a variety of brick-and-mortar locations) you might have some luck but finding jobs that permit you to work both in your current state and also your future state could narrow your options considerably.
Looking to buy a new work handbag that can fit a laptop. Budget is $599-$1000. Looking for something classic and somewhat durable.
$500-$1000 oops!
I’ve been happy with my Cuyana easy zipper tote. It’s below your budget ($300), but has worn very nicely.
+1. I’ve had my Cuyana for 5+ years of daily use, including dozens of plane trips where it’s been my carry-on purse and thrown under the seat with my laptop, and it’s been a workhorse. Highly recommend.
Veronica beard dash bag would be my first thought.
Brahmin smooth leather designs. They are lightweight bags with great internal organization. I loathe open totes like Cuyana.
Cuyana has zipper totes. I have an open top one and a zipper one I switch out depending on use case.
I use the zipper Cuyana for my laptop, and have gotten compliments.
1153 here with a zipper Cuyana. They also apparently have inserts you can buy to organize the interior. May add to my Christmas list!
Yes — the insert is $$, but worth it.
maybe that Kaii one that was featured here in the luxury laptop bags post?
I was in your shoes a few months ago, and hopefully your biopsy turns up as nothing concerning like it did for mine.
I agree with yesterday’s commenters that a) it’s good that an irregularity was discovered and b) it can be taken care of right away.
I wanted to share an experience and information I received that really put me more at ease regarding future callbacks:
After several rounds of mammo callbacks and biopsies over the past few years, I encountered a very empathic radiologist at my last one this fall (due to scheduling, I had to schedule at a more rural facility 45 min away from where I live – I was surprised that this was such a great experience). The doctor there told me that in general and in most cases, cancers double in volume every 6-12 months, which due to math correlates to an even longer period to be able to detect a doubling of the diameter of what you see on an image. This means that something that’s sub-detection on the image today (maybe 3-5 mm in dense tissue), takes at least 1 yr or more to be confirmed as a growing area of suspicion. Hence, if you’re following the regular annual schedule, you will have an excellent chance to detect it at some “early” point, with many interventions available. Advanced cancers (e.g. with lymphatic involvement/metastases) are most often diagnosed in people who do not have annual mammograms.
Of course, there are exceptions for very rare fast-spreading types of breast cancer, but statistically, the odds are that this will not be the case.
I obviously am not a doctor and cannot judge the scientific bases behind what this doctor told me, but it made sense to me and has put me at ease regarding future mammos and call backs.
Also, I now alternate mammograms, ultrasounds and MRI (do mammo-ultrasound-MRI-ultrasound with 6 months between each), and the doctor was confident that we would catch anything early enough to not jumping to the worst case scenario in my mind.
That was me. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Does anyone here work with clients or hire talent on a fractional/retained basis? I am an independent consultant and generally work on a project basis. I just completed a project and a client wants to hire me as a part-time/fractional executive in my functional area. I want to craft the engagement terms so that I bill them a flat rate ($10k) monthly for up to 20% of my capacity.
My questions are (1) Do I do this as a bucket of hours (eg. up to 40 hours/month)? and (2) how do you handle if the client ends up wanting more than the specified amount of time? Track all hours and let them know when they are getting close to the limit and offer a high hourly rate on top? Give them a heads up when you are nearing the limit and just decline meetings/work until the next month? Finally, I (3) I typically do a 40/60 split for projects. When it’s a retainer, do I bill at the end of the month or the beginning? Assume the end?
Thank you in advance for your input :)
I am a self employed consultant. One of my clients has me on a retainer. They’re a midsize shop without the budget for a full time hire of someone in my field. So I get paid for one day per week for them and keep track of my hours. The retainer is to keep my time available for them when they need me. I can and do bill above the retainer if I end up working more, but I don’t refund any of the retainer if I work less. That’s how the contract works. They seem to be happy with the arrangement.
Is your hourly rate the same as your retained rate? I’d prefer to limit my time with this client to the 20% capacity (8-10 hours/week) and *not* move into 15 hours territory so I either want to cap it or strongly incent them to stay within the cap.
My retainer rate reflects a slight discount because I get paid whether I work the hours or not. My additional hours get billed at my higher per hour rate. I also can and have told them when I am unable take on additional work (usually a project) that far exceeds the retainer hours.
I suggest you structure your contract such that they are paying you for X#FTEs/month (eg, 1 FTE = 160 hours/month, so 20% FTE = 0.2 FTEs = 32 hours/month). The contract should state it is a fixed fee per month that you will invoice at the beginning of each month and will be invoiced whether they use the hours per month. You also want to have some terms about whether or not they can utilize hours from future months (borrow) or roll over unused hours (per your preference). Alternatively, you can offer an hour T&M rate on top if they go over hours in a given month. I would track your hours monthly by project/workstream and be prepared to provide utilization summaries mid and end of month.
Looking to replace my holy grail boots. I wear these like 4+ days a week in the fall and winter. Looking for the perfect combination of comfort, durability, and style.
Looking for black leather boots with a 2 or 2.5 inch block heel – obviously these are easy enough to find, but looking for recommendations for a comfortable and durable pair. Even with the height of the heels I’m comfortable wearing mine in a variety of conditions because they’re very stable – mine have a good sole so I’m comfortable walking on wet or uneven ground.
I wear my current pair constantly: with jeans, dresses and tights, work pants. I wear them to work, out to bars on weekends, and with a dress on holidays.
Only reason I’m not keeping my current pair is that my foot has gotten a little bigger lately and now they’re too narrow.
Ecco might be a good brand for you to look at.
Blundstones
You might look at Margaux. On the pricier end, but I have been really happy with how my low boots from them are holding up.
I’ve suddenly realized that, due to the way the holidays fall this year, I could take a short vacation Jan. 1-5 and not miss anything. Single, no kids, no commitments. I’m in an east coast city. Where should I go? Open to domestic or international options.
Do you want: (a) city or nature; (b) warm or cold?
I’m actually open to all options. I’m torn between wanting to sit on a beach vs. wander around a European city.
Berlin. Cold War history, museums, cute shops, easy to get around, inexpensive by American standards, and an amazing spa if the weather is grey.
The weather in Berlin is awful this time of year. Better to come in May/June or September/October. Source: local resident. I would go to Prague, Copenhagen/Malmo, or Rome for a EU vacation. Quebec City might be beautiful around then, Montreal could be fun.
Valencia and Sevilla are bite-sized cities that should not be unpleasant in January.
Yes, anywhere in Spain. Xmas finish there 6th Jan
If you dont know Valencia go there, would not be beach weather but enought to eat a nice paella in La malvarrosa and to enjoy a really beautifull city. Fly to Madrid and take the speed train to Valencia.
My thought on Valencia is that it would be lovely to live there, but I didn’t enjoy it as a tourist. It was fine, lovely–they had a cool park in the city center. I was not at all sure how to feel about the beach scene. But it wasn’t as stimulating as Barcelona or Mallorca.
If by stimulating you mean overcrowed by tourist you are right. I think is the right choice for a long weekend, for more days I agree a Madrid+Valencia will be my choice.
I feel like the answer is always Paris.
Me too.
Portugal is a relatively short flight!
There are cheap flights right now from my city to St Martin. Am I crazy for considering booking a trip with our 11 month old in Feb??
Depends on how long the flight is and whether your 11 month old will be walking! Once they’re walking, that’s all they want to do, and flights can be torturous because they want to be in the aisles walking.
Whatever you do, get baby his/her own seat.
About 5.5 hours it looks. We did go to Italy when he was 6 months and he did great, but he also wasn’t mobile yet…he’s just army crawling at 9 months so I’m guessing he won’t quite be walking by then (and I didn’t walk until 16 months) but who knows!
Not crazy at all. Book kiddo their own seat and bring their car seat on the plane with you.
Not crazy at all. Stay on the French side, not the Dutch, for a far less Americanized getaway.
St. Martin doesn’t have a whole lot of things you have to do other than sit at your resort and enjoy the beach/pool and chill out. So you won’t feel guilty for doing just that and not making the most of a ton of worthy sightseeing. There is very good French food there too. Or if the kid likes airplanes go have lunch at Sunset Beach Bar (Dutch side) and see the big planes landing.