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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 170 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Scoop Neck Sheath Suit Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Anne Klein Malachite DressThere's a great deal on this dress today, which I liked even when I thought it was more: it was $99, but is now $56. I think it's an unusual color for a sheath dress, but I suspect it'll be a versatile one. Obviously in the spring and summer you can wear it with white/navy accents… right now I think it would be great with black tights, tall boots, a black boyfriend sweater, and pop of purple in there somewhere — perhaps a belt, perhaps a necklace. It's available in sizes 0-14 for $56, and eligible for Prime. (There's a nice “matching” blazer as well.) Anne Klein Scoop Neck Sheath Suit Dress I'm kind of surprised I can't find a matching plus size AK dress, but ah well: I like this green plus-size sweater dress (very different green though). Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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Comments

  1. Marie

    Cute dress, though it feels a little “summer.”

    Quick TJ: when wearing pants in winter, are socks okay with pumps or flats? I feel like they look really dorky, but I wore socks today with my flats today and my feet are so much warmer.

    • Anonymous

      No- but you could get knee-high pantyhose which would look fine and keep your feet pretty warm. If you have a long-ish walking commute, or there’s rain/snow, I would suggest keeping your work shoes at work (or carrying them in your bag) and wearing thick socks/boots for the commute.

    • Hildegarde

      I think actual socks would look odd. Knee-high hose or tights (not sure if they make knee-high tights) would be ok. Or, if it’s appropriate for your office you could wear oxfords with socks. Or nice boots. Or, if your feet are only cold on your commute, wear socks and shoes/boots to communte and change into your work shoes at work.

      • LilyStudent

        +1 on the Oxfords. Whenever I wore my brogues (which have that 1″ heel it’s so hard to find in women’s shoes) to my internship over the summer, I got loads of compliments from the guys I worked with. (And I sounded like a man walking down the corridor… which had interesting results)

      • Katie

        I have several pairs of thin trouser socks, which are basically knee high tights.

    • Lyssa

      What about with jeans and more casual flats? I sometimes wear nude colored or white trouser socks with jeans and casual ballet flats, and I’m never quite sure whether it works well or not (but hose/knee highs would be weird with jeans, right?).

      I’m not a huge fan of boots for casual wear (too constricting), so I never know what to wear on my feet when it’s cold and I want something comfortable but nicer than sneakers.

      • AIMS

        I think this is what booties are for. You can wear socks, it doesn’t look weird, and there are plenty of low/non constricting/comfy versions.

        I am not sure what everyone means by “socks” but I think knee high stockings are always fine for work with pants, I think actual thick socks are a “look” and sometimes it works (a la Jcrew Catalog) and sometimes it doesn’t (more often than not in real life).

        Personally, I think bare feet look odd in the cold so my solution (besides booties/boots) is either small fish net knee highs or knee high with some other interesting design I wouldn’t wear on actual stockings with a skirt. Amazon has tons of options, usually so do stores like TJ Maxx.

      • Anonymous

        I usually do black. Never nude. Never white. Pick a color that makes sense with your shoes.

      • Away Game

        Booties could work, but I think a pair of oxfords look great with jeans or work pants and are perfect for winter. Loafer can work as well, but I think they look dated on many women – depends on your wardrobe and personal style. Bonus that oxfords can be either flat or with a heel, depending on how you’ve hemmed the jeans/pants, and what you’re most comfortable wearing. I do think flats with socks is not a good look.

        • nutella

          I have wide feet but did the hairdryer trick with my Bass shoes and they are now SO comfortable.

          • Baconpancakes

            I tried my regular size, and they were slipping off as I walked (barefoot), and tried a half size smaller, and I could barely squeeze my feet in. The narrowness was compounded by my high arches. Supposedly they have a wide option at zappos – has anyone tried that?

          • Anon

            I recommend Pedag inserts or heel strips. They are way better than drugstore ones.

    • AnonInfinity

      I wear trouser socks all the time with my work shoes. I’m not sure if that’s what people mean by knee-high stockings. They’re about the thickness of a pair of tights–definitely don’t look like hose, but much thinner than normal socks that I’d wear with tennis shoes.

      For Lyssa’s question–I’ve never been able to get any kind of sock to look right with ballet flats and jeans, so I stick with those booties. I also have trouble finding booties that don’t slide off my feet while walking, which is a huge pain.

    • Mountain Girl

      This is why men just shake their heads. I’m not making light of this because I wonder the same thing but men don’t wonder when there is snow on the ground if it would be appropriate to wear socks. They just wear socks. We have enough other factors to consider that it warrants a whole thread of discussion. I want to just be able to wear socks in the winter.

      • anon

        +1. If men can wear socks with their loafers, I can wear socks with my loafers. And I do.

  3. Anon

    I feel like this is a brunch or weekend dress, not one for the work week. I don’t know why I feel that way though. I think it may be the color. It’s awkward.

      • hoola hoopa

        I also think it’s the styling. This is a color that I love and wear year round. I have a very similar dress (in cut, different color) and wear it year round, just styled differently for the different seasons.

        I think it’s a great pick!

    • TCFKAG

      I would add a belt because its doing her no favors right now in terms of her curves. But a nice belt right at her natural waist might dress it up enough (with a blazer) for work.

    • LawyrChk

      I have a dress like this that I wear on more casual days in my business casual office. I usually style with a shrunken blazer or cardigan and flats or wedges, plus chunky jewelry. Occasionally I’ll add a tissue tee or turtleneck instead of the blazer.

    • LilyStudent

      It’s making me cold just looking at her bare shoulders in this weather!

      • anon

        I know! If this is your winter dress, what do you wear in warm weather? It is cold outside. My office is freezing. I would like to see something that comes with a sleeve (and a sleeve to my wrist; something that is in the elbow area is not a sleeve for winter purposes).

        • Anonymama

          My office is actually the same or warmer in winter than in summer. This seems like it would be fine with a sweater or jacket. Maybe camel-colored to warm it up? Some of us live in pretty mild climates .

  4. Plus size tights

    Can anyone recommend a good place to buy reasonably priced (around 20 at the most) plus-size tights and nylons? No time to order online so somewhere that keeps them in stock.

      • Brit

        +1 to Target. That’s where I get my tights and they usually have a good selection of plus sized ones.

    • Anon

      For basics, JC Penney has a good selection of plus sizes and even has plus sizes with short/regular/tall lengths.

      • kellyandthen

        Agreed–the Worthington ones hold up insanely well and the control top (if you’re looking for that) is effective without being binding and uncomfortable. I’ve had a few pairs for about 5 years now, and they look brand new. I used to love Lane Bryant/Cacique tights, too, but I haven’t bought them in years (…because they’ve held up so well!).

    • Mountain Girl

      I like the Vera Wang brand at Kohl’s. I’m on my 3rd year for a couple pair.

  5. Lavinia

    I really like this dress!

    Quick question–Are you supposed to tip upholstery cleaners? My initial thought was no, but a quick google search has me second-guessing myself.

    • Ellen

      I also like this dress. And I LOVE Ann Klein, so this is a shehe dress I will buy! YAY!

      As for the OP, yes, I would tip the guy. You onley do this once in a while and they are like the cleaner’s–they do a better job if they know you will throw in an extra 15% for them. They charge enough, so what’s another 15% dad says. Dad is VERY smart, so I listen to him.

  6. TCFKAG

    So does anyone want to play a game? Its been awhile since we have. The challenge, post your five favorite Pandora stations. (Or, if you don’t use Pandora, your three favorite artists.) I’ll start.

    (1) TLC, (2) Queen, (3) Classic Soul Radio, (4) Van Morrison, and (5) De La Soul.

    • CherryScary

      1) Pentatonix
      2) The Piano Guys (mostly instrumental- great for work!)
      3) Spectrum (Zedd)
      4) Mumford and Sons
      5) Disney!

    • McBagel

      1) 2000s hip hop radio 2) brand new 3) taking back Sunday 4) Beyoncé 5) today’s hits radio

    • WJM-TV

      1. Andy Williams (Holiday) — I listen to this year-round, it helps me relax.
      2. Eli Young Band
      3. Rudy (Film Score)
      4. Reba McEntire
      5. Tim McGraw

    • Meg Murry

      1) My own station with Erin McKeown, Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco and the Indigo Girls as the seeds
      2) Camille Saint-Saens when I want to get work done
      3) R.E.M.
      4) Squirrel Nut Zippers
      5) A Charlie Brown Christmas

      • Lorelai Gilmore

        I have what is probably the exact same station as your #1. Lilith Fair, please come back!

    • Rogue Banker

      Ooooh, I like this. *checks pandora stations*

      1. Paramore (fun pop-punk for workouts and other times I need energy)
      2. YIRUMA (Korean artist, GORGEOUS piano solos)
      3. Jimmy Buffett (one of my parents’ favorites, I have good associations with his music)
      4. Celtic Woman (kind of a ~thing with me, my mom and my best friend)
      5. Classic rock (again, my parents’ music taste influencing my own, but it’s awesome!)

    • kellyandthen

      Oh, this is excellent.
      1) Wagon Wheel
      2) Three Dog Night
      3) Zac Brown Band
      4) Downton Abbey (Film Score or The Suite, both are great)
      5) Ace of Base

      So, um, yeah, I’m alllll over the place.

    • mascot

      1) The XX radio
      2) O Come O Come Emmanuel (lovely choral Christmas choices)
      3) Tom Petty and Fleetwood Mac combined
      4) Hipster BBQ
      5) The Muppets (for the kid)

    • A Nonny Moose

      Ooh fun question.
      1. Imagine Dragons + Passion Pit
      2. Indie pop (lots of overlap with (1) but a broader range)
      3. Michael Buble + Frank Sinatra (my fancy music for cooking and drinking red wine)
      4. “Summer hits of the 2000s” for driving and running
      5. Film scores radio for working and studying

      I have the max 100 stations, but those 5 get 99% of my attention

    • Meg March

      I’m all Christmas at this time of year, but typically I love the “Women ofCountry” station. It’s mostly young, slightly pop-y artists (think pre-1989 Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Lacey Musgrave), which is pretty much my perfect tune-out-the-world mix.

    • nutella

      Fun game!

      Velvet Underground, Violent Femmes, Simon & Garfunkel, 90s Alternative Grunge, Today’s Comedy Radio

    • Mommy Monster

      Fun fun fun!
      1) The Beatles
      2) Boston
      3) Celtic Woman (mostly for writing, relaxing, calming down the Munchkin)
      4) Blue October
      5) Tom Petty

      So I guess this list reflects my attitude that they don’t make music like they used to.

    • layered bob

      this is giving me great ideas for new stations.

      1. the Wailin’ Jennys (hybridized with the Good Lovelies this time of year)
      2. Joshua Radin/Passenger hybrid station
      3. Lorde
      4. Bon Iver
      5. the Deep Focus Spotify playlist (only thing I can listen to when I work/study)

    • Once Thrifted

      My pandora stations are “home-made” except the chill/downtempo one–that is the only ‘packaged’ station that I listen to on a regular basis from Pandora

      dave matthews (though I’m re-working it–Pandora made it very sketchy)
      Chill/Downtempo
      Pink Floyd
      The Police/INXS
      Bonnie Raitt

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Classic Rock, Southern Classic Rock, the Allman Brothers, and Jimmy Buffett. My music taste was entirely shaped by my parents and I have basically no knowledge of music after the early 90s.

    • NatalieR

      1. Mazzy Star “Fade Into You” Station
      2. Geographer Radio
      3. Garage/Psychedelic Rock
      4. Astrud Gilberto
      5. “Carrabba’s” Radio – basically a mix of Louis Prima, Dean Martin, Rosemary Clooney, Frank Sinatra, etc.

    • Jordan

      1. Jay-Z
      2. Jack White/White Stripes
      3. Led Zeppelin
      4. Jurassic 5
      5. tie between Rage Against the Machine and Sublime

  8. MNF

    Recommendations for nice black fishnets? I’ve never worn them (except cheap versions for Halloween) but want to get a pair for a holiday party.

  9. Anonymous

    I can feel a cold coming on, but I’m about to go on my Christmas vacation to somewhere nice and I don’t want it spoiled! I need tips to ward off my cold!

    • AnonInfinity

      Drink water like it’s your job.

      Also, if you can take a day off work that could help. If I feel one coming on and I can take a day off work, I will stay home, take a night-time cold medicine, and sleep ALL FREAKING DAY. It always works for me.

    • mascot

      Saline rinse your nose 2x a day (the neti-pot or the squeeze irrigation bottle)

      • AEK

        +1 to Zicam, or Cold-Eeze if you prefer. Zicam nasal swabs and mouth spray (in that order) are the best, IMO.

    • Dulcinea

      Agree strongly with water and sleep. But also wash your hands and face regularly and if possible wipe down your nightstand and anything else you touch frequently, and change your pillowcase. My theory is that this prevents you from re-infecting yoursf.

    • nutella

      Disinfect everything you can, change sheets and linens, drink so much water, wash hands often, drink hot tea with HONEY (deserves ellen caps), and I take zinc before bed. Without fail, it ALWAYS does the trick. Good luck!

    • anon

      Try NAC – n-acetyl cysteine, which is an all-purpose anti-oxidant. See the Web-MD article for info.

      • Mpls

        There is nothing in the WebMD to suggest that it would be useful for a viral cold. Other sorts of respiratory infections, maybe. Oh, and it has some major contraindications.

        Water, sleep and chicken soup are your best bets.

  10. Pesh

    Gift help needed! I need to get a gift for an extended family gift swap. The limit is $75 (or close to there) and needs to be something that could be applicable for ages 25 – 55. I was thinking maybe a Netflix subscription and Google Chromecast? Or an Amazon Prime subscription? If the hive has any ideas to add, I’d love to hear them!

      • rosie

        You can gift Netflix to someone who already has it, they just don’t have to pay for however long you gift it. Not sure if it works the same on Amazon.

        • rosie

          Thinking more about it…maybe a Netflix subscription, a nice bowl, and some gourmet popcorn to pop w/other snacks?

    • Anonymous

      I’d go with something you can wrap personally. A nice throw blanket, a really fancy box of chocolates, a home pizza making kit featuring a baking steel, a local specialty, a FITBIT, a Bluetooth speaker. I would avoid Harry and David in favor of something less corporate- Zingermans gift box perhaps?

    • No Problem

      Wine or other spirits, if your family drinks. Fitbit or throw blanket as Anonymous says are also good ideas.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      What about an ice cream maker and an ice-cream cookbook? (I would recommend the Jeni’s Splendid cookbook or the David LEibowitz cookbook.) Depending on budget, you could even add in some cute ice-cream spoons or bowls. Or a nice jar of hot fudge and gourmet maraschino cherries.

  11. Senior Attorney

    PSA: Out of Print Clothing has awesome tees printed with the covers of classic books like “Charlotte’s Web” and “Pride and Prejudice” and tons of others. Also other items like notebooks and coaster sets. They are kind of pricey but they are having 20% off through Friday. I got “A Wrinkle in Time” for myself and “On the Road” for my Marine. http://www.outofprintclothing.com/

    No, I’m not affiliated with the site. Just a fan…

      • Senior Attorney

        He is indeed. And I get to call him (and refer to him by) whatever term of endearment is pleasing to both of us.

      • anon

        So glad you’ve decided to grace us all with your needless b*tchyness. Thanks for that.

      • SoCalAtty

        We call my best friend’s brother “lame.” When he calls me, my phone says “lame.” My brother is The Boy. My grandfather called me Pumpkin.

        Get. over. yourself.

      • Jordan

        At first I thought this was a quote from one of the books. Looks like we both should probably just head to happy hour early today.

    • Senior Attorney

      You definitely need the Wrinkle in Time one, Meg Murry!

      Oh, and the tees run small so size up.

    • AnonInfinity

      Thanks for forcing me to waste my morning trying to pick between all the shirts I want. And I have told my husband one thousand times that I want him to surprise me for Christmas, and so now I’m trying to figure out how to send him this link so that he will surprise me with one of these for Christmas.

      It does make me wonder whether men really want to wear a “Lolita” t-shirt?

  12. Shayla

    Advice for Christmas Eve presents with family: My mother in law wants to do presents with my family (two young kids) on Christmas Eve (because all her kids and step kids will be there, it makes sense). I’m ok with this in general…but have two questions:
    1) Would it be over reaching to ask her to split her gifts for the kids into gifts “from her” and then save the others for “from Santa”? She’s in an enviable financial situation and goes overboard (Last year she got my 1.5 year old 50 presents…). I just don’t want Christmas Eve to overshadow Christmas morning—and, she’ll be with us Christmas morning, so she won’t “miss” anything. Is this a valid concern, and even if it is, is it something I can ask of her?
    2) What are your experiences opening presents on Christmas Eve, anything else I should think/know before we open this can of worms? My family’s tradition was to open one present, and it was always pajamas :-)

    • Anonymous

      50 presents? I’d straight up say “last year you got nephew 50 gifts. That isn’t going to work for us at all. It’s excessive and will overshadow Santa and overwhelm the kids. If you would like the kids to open your gifts Christmas Eve absolutely, but I’m giving and opening my gifts Christmas Day and so is Santa.”

      There is no reason why her compulsive need to buy live should get to take over the holiday. You bend to accommodate her by going with Christmas Eve, she bends by recognizing she isn’t f-ing more important than Santa.

      • Shayla

        Trust me, the excessive gifts is a different struggle I’m constantly fighting (it’s a year round thing). Pick and choose… and in this season…I’m not fighting it.

    • JJ

      My family has always opened “family” presents on Christmas Eve and “Santa” presents on Christmas morning. We had a large extended family and so Christmas Eve we would get together and that way be there when everyone opened presents. Now that we are older, it’s a great tradition because we’ll cook a big dinner, have tons and tons of wine, and spend quality time together while opening gifts.

      I would ask your MIL to do what you suggested – perhaps save the “big” presents for Christmas morning and let your kids open the smaller presents the night before.

      • Shayla

        Thank you! I’m glad Christmas Eve presents are a positive memory for you. I’m trying to make sure the magic of Christmas morning remains (because this is just a foreign concept for me).

        • mascot

          We did the same with family gifts on Christmas Eve (post dinner with extended family). Christmas morning was Santa (presents weren’t wrapped, just spread all over the place, so fun). Christmas afternoon was the other side of the extended family. Christmas was always magical.
          Funny story, my parents never gave us separate presents from “Mom and Dad” and we never noticed during the Santa years. So don’t feel like you have to split your own pile.

          • meara

            Yeah, chiming in as another Christmas Eve one–we always did presents with my dad’s family on Christmas Eve with big dinner (and when we were older, midnight mass), and then in the morning just got stockings from Santa with fun stuff to keep us entertained. And since we were traveling to visit family, usually when we got home a few days later, our parents’ presents (which were always “from Santa”) were waiting under the tree as a few-days-later bonus. I have still never figured out how my parents managed to put the presents under the tree, though–when we were leaving it’s not like they paused with the kids in the car long enough to pull out all the presents? …it suddenly occurs to me maybe they had a neighbor help? Wow, I’m late 30s and JUST thought of that.

          • Senior Attorney

            Speaking of fun magical things, when my Marine was little Santa always hung candy canes all over the Christmas tree when he visited, in addition to leaving the gifts. Big fun!

    • Alana

      Wow, 50!?! Giving tangible items to small kids can be lots of fun, but how about fewer gifts and a contribution to his 529 or something?

    • hoola hoopa

      My husband and I each grew up opening gifts (to different extents) and now our children do, too. I really like opening gifts from extended family on Christmas Eve, which is when we get together, and saving gifts from parents/siblings for Christmas morning. I like opening the gifts in the presence of the giver, and I also like cutting down the pile of gifts to open on Christmas morning. My husband grew up opening only Santa gifts on Christmas morning, and I was not a fan of that idea. Too sparse, too much emphasis on Santa for my taste.

      I think of Santa gifts as being from parents, not grandparents. Essentially you would be asking MIL to buy the Santa gifts for you (if she/you think about them as I do). Depending on the person, she may love the idea or absolutely hate it and think it’s the tackiest thing ever. You know your MIL best, so use your judgment. What would probably be easier is ask her to separate them into two groups, one to open on Christmas Eve and one to open on Christmas morning.

      Honestly, though, I don’t think you need to worry about whether Christmas eve is overshadowing Christmas morning. Whatever your kids grow up with will be The Way Christmas Should Be, and I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong. In fact, it may be advantageous to have Christmas eve be for MIL’s spoiling and Christmas to be about your family, etc.

  13. Carrie..

    23andMe testing? But I think it’s like $99. The techies liked that in previous years, and then interestingly my great Aunt loved it.

    oops… this was for the earlier poster looking for a gift swap for relatives ages 25-55.

    • Meg March

      Wouldn’t work for a gift swap very well, but maybe someone else would like this as a gift idea. I’m getting “my parents dog” (okay, fine, my parents) a DNA/breed testing kit from Wisdom Panel, which was only $65 on Amazon. You do a cheek swab, and they send you a pamphlet with the “percentages” of each breed that your dog is.

      • hoola hoopa

        Someone gave my husband one of those for his dog (completely mystery mix) and he was SO EXCITED. SO EXCITED.

        FWIW, I can’t remember what brand it was but it was significantly higher quality than another brand that a friend used – so check reviews. Ours had an expert review a photograph, if that helps.

  14. Alice

    Speaking of boyfriend cardigans, I’m looking for recommendations in the under $50 range for work. An open front cardigan, long, without buttons or pockets, in basic colors (I’d like a gray, a camel, and a black) is proving really hard!

    Thanks in advance.

  15. anonymous

    how do you know when you’re burnt out or on the brink of major burnout? And what do you do about it? preferably without compromising on the pace/ amount of work.

    • YouSaucyMinx

      When you have that pit in your stomach every morning, when you cry at the drop of a hat at home, and when all you want to do is sleep, your burnt out.

      If cutting back on work isn’t a possibility, you have to really care for yourself to get through it.

      Eat good foods-force yourself to get fruits and vegetables (green smoothies are great for when I’m mentally and physically exhausted). Drink lots of water. Have a special treat every now and again as a reward (good dark chocolate, for instance).

      Make sure you get the best sleep you can–if you cant get 8 hours, you need to get the best sleep you can in a compressed timeframe. With my high-stress job where I’m lucky to get 4-6 hours, I got a cooling pillow and a memory foam topper which helped immensely.

      Squeeze in 30 minutes of an activity you really enjoy just for you-whether it’s a 5:00am half hour to read a book or 30 minutes of trash TV, taking time for yourself is imperative.

      And ask for help, or if you’re able, hire help. If you’re burnt out, a housecleaner, grocery delivery service, or meal preparation can make an unbelievable difference.

    • AnonLawMom

      It is really hard to answer such a broad question but my suspicion is that if you are wondering this, you need to take a step back and engage in some self-care. And generally, that means compromising the pace and amount of work you are doing. Maybe start small by taking a real lunch (if you don’t normally) or a leaving the office early/coming in late so you can do something you like (for me this would be yoga but you do you). See if those minor things help refresh you. If they don’t and even thinking about doing either of those things stresses you out even more, then you should probably take some more thoughtful actions about how to deal with reducing work. Delegate as much as you can!

      • Been there

        +1. That you are asking this question indicates to me that you are already or almost there. When I’m super crazed at work, I usually have trouble quieting my mind enough to sleep in the few spare hours that I do have to rest. Rather than toss and turn in bed for an extra 30-60 minutes, I unwind at night with a funny tv show – Colbert, Daily Show, Parks & Rec, etc. I would not be sleeping anyway, and maybe I can get a few laughs in and relieve some stress. And if you can break away at all during the day, even for a 5 min walk around the block or 15 min to grab coffee with a friend (with the promise of no work talk), I highly encourage you to try. The work will be there when you get back. It may sound overwhelming at the time to take even 5 minutes out, but I always find that when I force myself to do it, I come back a little bit refreshed.

        Agree with above posters that delegation and outsourcing are your friends.

    • August

      Three things happened to me: 1. Lost interest in work 2. Feeling incredibly depressed Sunday mornings because I had to be at work on Monday mornings. 3. Wanted to get sick so that I don’t have to go to work and not have to feel guilty because I was not at work (I am sick..so I am stay at home guilt free).

      I changed my job to get out of that situation . Job search was what got me going for a last couple of months because I knew I would be out of there. I left three weeks back and I joined another team in the same company. The first thing I asked my new manager was three weeks vacation as I have not taken a day off in last 1.5 years (to which she gladly agreed). I will be off for three weeks starting Christmas :-). Hopefully I will feel better when I come back to work.

    • Anonymous

      I get incredibly grumpy when I get burnt out. Like, everything everyone does annoys or upsets me to an irrational degree. But I would second the comments above that, if you think you are about to burn out, you probably are.

      I force myself to find time to do “me” things, even if it’s just 15 or 20 minutes a day. For me, going to yoga or an exercise class makes a huge difference. But if I can’t find the time for that, I’ll just take a quick walk outside and stop thinking about work.

      I also second the comment about forcing yourself to eat healthy. If I’m super stressed, I make sure I eat lots of fruits and veggies but also “treat” myself to things like good coffee.

    • AnonInfinity

      I don’t think it’s possible to recover long-term from major burnout without compromising on amount or pace of work. That’s why a person gets burnt out in the first place–because the person is unable to recharge. I don’t know anyone who was able to recover from this long term without taking a meaningful break.

      If a break of some sort is not possible right now, then the measures listed above are good stop gaps for a short-term solution.

      I was there a few months ago. I implemented a lot of the things listed above (enjoying small treats and a few moments away when I could especially), but I didn’t really feel better until after my huge project passed and I got to relax. We’re talking major slow down in work for several weeks, and no work on the weekend at all for several weekends in a row.

      Please take care of yourself.

  16. Meg March

    Looking for some recs for a gift for a grilling/barbecue guru. I’m getting him one of the thermopops discussed here before, but want to package it with some other bbq stuff. I’m thinking spice rubs? Any that you’ve liked in the past? Or any other ideas for gifts to go with the thermopop? Looking to spend in the $50 range. He owns two gas grills, one charcoal and a smoker.

    Also looking for a zip-up bathrobe (not terry cloth), for winter or summer. Surprisingly difficult to find.

    • mascot

      It’s a little above what you want to spend, but my husband adores his Looftlighter.

    • Anon

      I love my grilling basket and perforated trays for the grill if he doesn’t have those already.

      For the robe try searching on caftan.

    • anne-on

      Try the Penzey’s grilling spices gift box, I’ve given it to a lot of people and they’ve really enjoyed it.

    • hoola hoopa

      Ah, love the thermapen.

      Do they have a chimney starter and/or a good quality grill brush? They are basics, but if somehow they don’t have one yet they should. My husband actually has a couple of chimney starters in different sizes. He also has several high-quality tongs, so that’s another option.

      A meat injector is a fun gadget, too.

      For sauces, aardvark and ooga booga. My husband is particular about his sauces and rubs so he usually makes his own – so a grinder (electric or mortar/pestle, he uses both) would be good, too.

  18. Anon in NYC

    Favorite electric razors for men? My husband’s just died. He has had two Norelco ones and the battery life doesn’t seem to be great. Any other recommendations?

  19. anonymous

    Does anyone else find it annoying when someone near by you (whom you can’t move away from) is constantly making loud noises (throat clearing, smacking, sniffling, etc)? Am I the only person who finds this distracting, annoying, and inconsiderate in many cases?

    • Anon

      Distracting, maybe, annoying, possibly, but I don’t think they’re necessarily being inconsiderate. It wouldn’t really bother me, but we all have things that bother us differently. If it’s someplace like your office and it truly bothers you, maybe it would be wise to invest in some noise cancelling headphones? You can’t exactly tell someone with allergies to stop sniffling and they’re not doing it to personally annoy you.

      • anonymous

        well that’s why I said “in some cases” Obviously someone with allergies isn’t inconsiderate, but someone who chews with their mouth open such that the whole office can hear them smack? I think so. I’ve tried noise cancelling headphones. They don’t work, and I also wear earplugs all day every day. no luck.

        • Baconpancakes

          They’re probably not aware they’re doing it. The only way to mention loud chewing or smacking (which is sometimes related to dental work!) is to be very very politely joking about it. Say once, at most, “Ha, I thought I heard chips/soup/granola again!” Then say nothing, ever again, because even that much is a little rude.

        • Anon

          I wonder if there is anything you can do to learn to tune it out? It sounds like you might be hypersensitive to noise. I have no good suggestions as to how to let it not bother you, unfortunately. Maybe mediation or some kind of mindfulness practice?

    • TNTT

      Google “misophonia” and join the rest of us who suffer in silence (oh how I wish it were silence…)

      • SoCalAtty

        Also have your hearing checked…I just recently had mine done, and my hearing is so good it rises to “freak” level. I was shocked. But it explained why noises that drive me insane don’t phase anyone else. Yes, I can tell when your monitor or lights are getting ready to go out.

        It doesn’t solve the problem, but at least giving it a “cause” helped me deal.

    • Lady

      Depending on the severity of your reaction to it, you may suffer at some level from misophonia. If it’s just annoying, though, and not otherwise disruptive to your daily routine, some sort of meditation or practice might help you get past it. If you’re suffering from misophonia, not a bit of meditation will help.

  20. Anonymous

    I’m pregnant with twins and stressed. Please tell me if I’m overreacting or not. If not, then how do I gently put it to these people that I just want to be all alone?

    My mom and her husband were at our house over Thanksgiving weekend. Then last weekend was my baby shower so we had my family and in-laws in town Friday morning through Sunday night. All of the above people got a hotel room for the duration of their stay since our basement (including guest bedroom) is torn apart for a remodel (another cause of stress).

    My dad wants to come for Christmas and will otherwise be alone on Christmas if he doesn’t come to our house. I told him he’s welcome to come but there is no guestroom so he’d need to make hotel arrangements. He says he’ll bring his sleeping bag and sleeping pad (he’s a hunter, “camping out” does not bother him). I said okay, whatever you want to do but it’s not going to be clean in any capacity and it’s going to be extremely dusty (think drywall, etc.). Then this morning he calls and wants to stay from the 22nd through Christmas because he needs to get lasik while he’s in town (he lives in a remote town where there is no lasik and we live a major city). My dad is not the kind of person that can sit on the couch and watch even one movie, he has to be doing something. I’m not going to want to entertain him, I’m going to want to lay on the couch and relax, I’m tired!! His ideal stay is a drive through the mountains, a hike around, etc. I don’t know that I have it in me!

    Then to add to it, it’s my mom’s 60th birthday on the 28th and she wants to come down with her husband on the 27th to celebrate (they’d get a hotel). Not that I’d want to travel anyway, but I’m not allowed to go anywhere since I’ll be about 30 weeks pregnant with twins. So pretty much if they both come, I’ll have guests in some capacity from the Monday the 22nd through the 28th. Ahhhh!!!

    I don’t want to tell my dad not to come. It’s Christmas!! and I don’t want to tell my mom not to come because it’s her 60th birthday! What do I do????

    • anonymous

      Tell them you’re looking forward to seeing them, then tell them you’re in a stressful time of your life and set boundaries. Try to anticipate problems and head them off- dad, I love spending time with you, but I just can’t go hiking right now and I need a lot of time to rest, or whatever. make your boundaries clear and stand by them.

      Of course, if you don’t want either of your parents to come, you should probably do that.

    • Anon

      Take a deep breath!

      The holidays stress everyone out, but you have a remodel and a twin pregnancy too. Goodness!

      Write mom and dad each a note telling them that you are looking forward to seeing them, but that you want to remind them that at 30 weeks pregnant with twins, your doctor has advised you to rest as much as possible to avoid early labor. (And this is true, any doctor would advise this.). As a result you will not be up for doing a lot of entertaining or going out, and say that you know they understand.

      All the best to you!

    • Anonymous

      You tell your dad “sure. Just so you know, I am going to be sitting on the couch watching movies the whole time. If you want to go do stuff you’ll need to take care of that yourself.”

      And you tell your mom “great happy to have dinner with you guys. I’m exhausted and need down time though so that’s all I can do.”

      And then you do those things and don’t feel guilty.

    • Anonymous

      wait, if he’s getting lasik, he won’t be hiking or doing anything for those extra 24 hours other than waiting for his eyes to stop tearing.

        • Anon

          No knock-out drugs, but you’re wearing goggles for a couple days and you want to not look at things (though that doesn’t bother some people). I just laid around listening to podcasts. Maybe her dad is the type to be annoying if he’s bored, but he’s going to have to sit around and watch movies.

      • Anonymous

        I’m an idiot! I didn’t even think about the fact that his eyes are going to be healing. He is the type to be totally annoying if he’s bored and he’s going to be bored.

        • Wildkitten

          I think a hotel after LASIK sounds great. You can order room service, and sleep all day, and listen to HBO…

    • Hildegarde

      For your dad, I agree you should remind him you’re not up for a ton of activities, but is he the type you can occupy with house projects? A friend of mine has parents like your dad, and when they come she has them do house projects for her, which they love. Last visit they installed a screen door on her kitchen.

      Would your mom be open to celebrating her birthday a week later? So, not on her actual birthday, but that would give you a few days to recover and rest. I realize some parents would be terribly offended by this and some would be fine with it, though, so it depends on your knowledge of your mom.

    • Alana

      No advice, but as an introvert, I feel for you. You only have a short period left in which you’ll be able to be alone for any period of time. Hang in there!

      • Romey

        Same here, no additional advice other than what others have said, but I got stressed out for you reading your post. I feel like I’m a closet introvert in that I’m really friendly and people probably don’t think I’m an introvert, but I LOVE spending time alone and I actively schedule time where I’m not doing anything. I would be so stressed and irritated by having people over for that long, even if it is family. Good luck.

  22. Boston Secret Santa

    Boston ladies! I’m doing a Secret Santa, and my person loves TV, nerdy books, stuff like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, etc. She’s also loves fruity scented bath products.

    I can think of a few places to find this stuff, but I’m sure I’m missing some. Any stores nerdy store or Lush-like (but not Lush) store suggestions?

    • Boston Secret Santa

      I meant places with actual stores in Boston. Unless Villainess soaps and ThinkGeek products are sold somewhere here.

  23. Gifting Help

    I am a senior associate at a big law firm and have several amazing junior associates who have done a great job on all their work but have also gone above and beyond to cover for me while I had several personal matters come up this year. I would really like to gift something in appreciation. Any ideas on good holiday/thank you gifts? All thoughts appreciated!

    • AnonInfinity

      A nice email or note expressing thanks, and if you can, an email to the partner saying they’ve done a great job and why (obviously you can leave out personal details, but saying something about how they stepped up above their level or something like that). As a mid-level associate, those things would mean so much to me. If you want to give a tangible thing, too, wine or nice coffee are always appreciated.

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