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Updated: Apr 23, 2020 263 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Cashmere Blazer – Shawl Collar with Pockets

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Aqua Cashmere Blazer - Shawl Collar with PocketsI love a shrunken sweater blazer like this — perfect to wear with jeans (as styled) as well as with dresses, trousers, and more. It's just a bit more structured than a cardigan, and just a bit more comfortable than a blazer. This cashmere blazer is marked to $165 (down from $220) at Bloomingdale's, with free shipping. Aqua Cashmere Blazer – Shawl Collar with Pockets Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Merabella

    I just wanted to say thank you to the awesome ladies who are over at myfitnesspal. I really needed a kick in the butt to keep up the good work I’ve started, and I appreciate having the ladies from this community as a support system.

  2. Diana Barry

    Victory! Nanny is upstairs with baby and I am in the office working. :)

    Question on Halloween costumes. I have a fun black minidress with neon apples on it that I am going to wear tonight (and be a funky “apple tree”). What color shirt should I wear underneath? And what makeup colors would you ladies suggest? Should I have red apple-y circles on my cheeks?

    • Merabella

      I would say yes to the apples of the cheeks and red lipstick. Would a brown shirt be weird? I imagine your arms are branches.

      • Notalawyer

        Pin some cut-out (paper?) leaves on to your brown sleeves and you will definitely ‘be’ a tree.

    • SunnyD

      Where did you find this awesome dress? I’d go with the red apple cheek circles.

      • Diana Barry

        LOL, I got it in college (in the 90s). It is kind of a clubbing dress (from Only hearts).

        I will try to locate a brown or green shirt. You ladies are great! :)

        • TCFKAG

          Dear Diana — I am exceptionally jealous that your clubbing clothes from the 90s still fit you after three children.

          Hugs and kisses — everyone in the world. :-)

          • Always a NYer

            @Diana Barry – Nothing to be sorry about! Props to you for fitting into it ;)

          • Research, Not Law

            Psssh, have no shame. Flaunt that, Diana!

            I just squeezed into a skirt from high school after having two kids and sorta wanted to tatooo it to my forehead.

    • Research, Not Law

      I’d wear a black shirt under. I am pro apple cheeks, but I’d keep the rest of the face low-key. I’d totally use paper or felt to make a fascinator with leaves for your hair.

  3. Francie Nolan

    Hi Ladies – sorry to threadjack – My SIL house was ruined in the storm and I want to do something, I feel awful, what is a good idea? She stayed with us for a few nights and we drank wine, but I want to do something else to show we are there for her.

    • Merabella

      That is awful, I’m so sorry. Did she lose all of her clothes/shoes? Maybe get her a gift card somewhere to pick up basics to help get her through until everything can be replaced? Are there things that were damaged that they desperately need right away? I would start there. Food is always a good option as well.

      • Diana Barry

        Ditto, gift cards for stuff that was lost etc. would be very helpful. Also, do they have kids? If so, free babysitting would be a great gift.

    • roses

      I’d offer her any spare basics that you have on hand – kitchen appliances, towels, sheets, etc. If she has kids, I’m sure she’d appreciate help watching them while she sorts out insurance and temporary housing and such as well.

    • JessC

      I think in this kind of situation, you need to make sure the basics are taken care of – shelter, food, and clothing. I’m assuming she’s got a place to stay, but other than that I would probably pick her up some basic groceries to get through (maybe some stuff to help her clean up the house if she’s been allowed back in) and/or a gift card to a store where she can pick up some clothes.

    • Anonnc

      Did she lose things like photos and other memorabilia? If so, hunt through your own photos to see if you can help reconstruct some of the memories.

    • Francie Nolan

      Thanks everyone, These are are great ideas! I think I will put together a care package with a some practical things that will help and cookies and wine of course!

      • TCFKAG

        Hey Francie,

        One additional thing — my friend’s parents house was destroyed in a fire and I think they ended up living in an extended stay hotel for like months upon months while the insurance company paid to get it restored (just takes awhile, you know?) So some of this stuff may be best to wait on — because they’ll simply have no where to put it. And if they are going to be living out of a hotel for awhile or out of some sort of temporary housing situation, you might want to think of small things to make that place more homey. So sorry this is happening!

        • mamabear

          Yes, agree with the gift cards. Maybe Target or somewhere she can get some basics for now – I assume online is out of the question with no delivery happening any time soon? – and a clothing store she likes.

        • Francie Nolan

          Oh Good Point TCFKAG! I didn’t think of that, they are staying with my niece in her condo, so no big stuff!

  4. almost a lawyer

    I may completely out myself with this question, but I’m starting to get nervous! Due to hurricane-related mishaps that would take too long to explain, I do not have a suit to wear to the bar swearing-in ceremony tomorrow. If I really tried I could swing by a store and buy a suit and later return it, but I’d rather not since I’m leaving straight from the ceremony to go the airport and would have to stuff the suit in my already-full luggage. Do you all think I could get by wearing a 3/4 sleeve blazer and a non-matching skirt instead? Appreciate any advice!

    • JessC

      Without knowing where precisely you are, I think it’s going to be hard to answer whether not wearing a suit would be a major faux pas. Where I live (Tampa, FL), it probably wouldn’t be. That being said, if you’re in an area that’s being effected by the strom I’m pretty sure most people won’t give you crap (and if they do, they’re @$$holes).

    • Lucy

      Not a lawyer. But a hurricane ate your suits! (Or rendered them inaccessible – hope it’s the latter.) I think your outfit sounds fine.

    • Maddie Ross

      I’m fairly certain at both of the bar swearings-in I’ve been part of that likely no one would even notice. I certainly cannot remember what anyone else was wearing (and can only rememebr what I wore to one of them because there is photographic evidence). I would make every attempt possible to wear as close to a suit or suit separates as you can pull off. And as JessC said, if you’re in a hurricane impacted area, I’m sure most people wouldn’t say a word.

    • TCFKAG

      In one of my bar swearing ins it would have been mildly awkward (they did it in small groups in a court) but I think whatever your nicest separates are would be fine. The other one was a huge crowd and really no one would have cared.

    • Let's not rip off the stores...

      Wearing something and then bringing it back is just gross (and unlawyerly). Wear your best separates or buy a suit and keep it. It’s not fair to other customers (or the store) if you wear something and return it.

      • rosie

        I agree. It’s one thing to legitimately change your mind and return something, it’s another thing to buy it with the intention of returning it after one wear.

        I think you’ll be fine in a skirt and a blazer. I think most people probably would wear a suit, but given the circumstances and the fact that you have perfectly professional clothes to wear, I would just go with it. My bar swearing in ceremonies were small, but I wore boots with a suit for one of them and wasn’t in conservative interview attire for either.

      • SF Bay Associate

        I agree. Buying something with the intention of returning it after you wear it, then actually wearing it, and then returning it is straight up theft. I’m disgusted to hear that this even crossed someone’s mind.

        • style advice needed...

          One of my wealthiest friends in college did this all the time. It also disgusted me. And as someone who came from modest means, I was so shocked that someone who could actually afford this clothing would do such a thing.

          The popular thing in her sorority was to buy a new dress at Nordstrom’s for every dance/party, wear it to the party, and return it the next day. I remember when she bought these completely expensive, beautiful heels that had some sort of rhinestones in the heels (I know it sounds tacky, but it was actually a very expensive shoe…). She got drunk at the frat party, I’m sure her shoes were thrown around and played with, and she returned them the next day (after several rhinestones had “fallen out”) complaining that they were “defective”. This was my introduction to Nordstrom’s and their amazing customer service/returns policy. Yikes…..

          • SF Bay Associate

            I’ve encountered a woman like that, too. The sense of entitlement that I have found in some people who came from wealthy families absolutely blew my mind. Let me get this straight – You don’t have to work? And you have a credit card from your parents? With no limit? That they pay for with no questions asked? Even if you buy non-necessities? And your parents have a lot of money? But you’re going to steal or “buy” with the intent of wearing and returning this item of clothing? Because you can? Because you’re so privileged you think the rules don’t apply to you? Because you think you can talk your way out of anything? Because you know your influential parents will rescue you? Because you think you’re smarter than everyone? Because you think you’re better than everyone? Wow.

      • kiley

        Agree I didnt even notice you said that at first. Dont do that. Just wear the seperates. A faux pas is better than stealing/dishonesty.

      • anon

        I totally disagree. The stores have these policies in place–and use them to sell items to you–with the understanding that some people will buy an item thinking they can always return it, then won’t return the item and the store ultimately will profit. I have had Nordstrom’s sales people say to me, flat out, “you can always wear it and return it if you change your mind.” They WANT you to make this calculus because they know a large percentage of people are too busy or lazy to do the return and they will have made a sale. It is not at all theft to take advantage of the policy.

        • SF Bay Associate

          The Nordie’s policy is in place so that if the item truly doesn’t work out – the shoes pinch, the jeans stretch out, the sweater itches, the bra digs in, the bracelet turns your arm green – you can return it. That’s not your fault. That’s the item’s fault. Nordie’s wants you to return a purchase you are legitimately unhappy with so that they can find you a product you DO like, which makes you a happy customer and more likely to buy from Nordie’s again. So they encourage you to buy the shoes you are unsure about because they will take it back if they end up hurting your feet. And odds are, you’ll decide the shoes do work out, and you’ll keep the shoes. Yes, the sales associates want THAT.

          That is ENTIRELY different than a person who buys a product with the intention of wearing it and returning it, and does so, even though they were perfectly satisfied with the product and there was nothing wrong with the product. They just wanted to “borrow” the product for free, use the product, return the now-used product that can no longer be resold and get a full refund. The store gets screwed, and that person gets all the benefit of abusing a policy with none of the cost. That is THEFT and that person is a thief. Anyone who does this should be absolutely ashamed of themselves, but given the level of dishonesty required to do such a thing, it’s apparent that they lack the moral compass necessary to have any sense of shame whatsoever.

          • rosie

            On top of all that, I am guessing that in some cases the person may pass of the item as unworn, so the store restocks it and sells it at full price. I don’t want to have to wonder if I’m about to buy an item that someone else wore for a whole event and then returned. Gross.

    • lucy stone

      I think that’d be fine. Most people wore suits at mine but I know some women wore separates and it was no big thing.

    • Kontraktor

      Are your separates muted colors? I think something like a black jacket, dark gray skirt, white blouse, and pearls would be really nice and almost as formal as a suit. If your separates are really really bright colors or a bit wackier, I might say try to head to the store and get an affordable suit you wouldn’t mind keeping. I think it’s somewhat crass to wear once and then return.

    • almost a lawyer

      Thanks for the re-assurance, all. The storm didn’t eat my suits, but rendered them inaccessible. I did feel a little icky about wearing something (even just for 2 hours) and then returning, so thanks for re-affirming that this wouldn’t be a good idea. I’ll wear my separates (navy blazer and gray skirt) and try to dress it up with pearls.

      • Anonymous

        I think the separates should be fine under the circumstances, but another option might be to borrow a suit from a friend who will also be at the swearing in? Probably won’t fit perfectly, but at least it would be a suit, and you could just change in the bathroom afterwards and not have to stuff any more clothing into your luggage.

    • A

      I didn’t wear a suit to my swearing in ceremony…. In fact, I didn’t even wear a blazer — cashmere sweater and pencil skirt.

      Granted it was at my law school and it was only for people from my graduating class, but I really do not think it matters.

    • Kanye East

      I saw someone get sent home from his character & fitness interview in NYC (1st Department) because he was in business casual instead of a suit and tie, so normallythere’s a strict dress code there (at least there used to be…this was…um…more than 10 years ago).

      But given the weather and aftermath, I would be shocked–shocked–if anybody gives you a hard time.

      • cfm

        In my experience the character interview is more formal than the swearing in ceremony. Because interview = suit and all that.

      • Q

        OMG, my character interviewer (a partner at a pretty fancy firm) was wearing worn out jeans and a polo shirt.

  5. Blonde Lawyer

    Review for Mama Bear and anyone else that was discussing the Lands End corduroy leggings. The material is very soft. Since they are supposed to be corduroy I was expecting more structure and something similar to jeggings, but cords. They are more of a velour material and look more like ribbed velour leggings than corduroys. That said, they are very warm, quite comfortable, and the rise was perfect. Even though I’m short waisted, they stop below my belly button. I am keeping them but I will probably only wear them with dresses that go almost to my knee and knee high boots so only a small amount of them show. I will also wear them bumming around the house with long sweaters.

    I also got the Drapey Ponte Sheath Dress. It runs very big. I bought a small. Note, Lands End Small is sizes 6-8. I probably should have bought extra small. It is machine washable though so it might shrink up a bit. This is a great dress for the large chested. I am 34DD and the chest area of the small is too big! I’m wearing a push up bra to keep the shoulders sitting where they are supposed to. The empire waist is a little frumpy/matronly. I’m wearing it with a very thick black belt to give it more definition and take it away from looking like a maternity dress. The material is thick enough for me but I could see how it could show bumps and lumps on certain body types. It is thicker than jersey but thinner than most ponte knit. The length is great for tall ladies. It comes right to the middle of my knee cap. The slit in the back is pretty high but not scandalous. Hope this helps!

    • mamabear

      Thanks for the review! My leggings came last night but they were the wrong color (brown, when I swear I ordered black) but Land’s End was very cool about exchanging them at no expense to me. I didn’t try them on, waiting for the right pair to arrive.

    • Mountain Girl

      I have had this dress in my cart for a couple of weeks. I’m thinking I’m going to take the plunge and order it. But now I’m thinking I might want the leggings for the weekend.

    • Jules

      I just got the drapey ponte dress and it’s going back. I did size down — and I’m busty/hourglassy — but it’s still a bit big in the chest, and very big in the shoulders/neckline and through the midsection. The dress gaped around the collar bone, and the extra room in the waist and hips was not flattering. Too bad, I like the fabric — which is more of a heavy knit than a true ponte — and I really need a black v-neck dress that doesn’t have a waistline that hits just under the b**bs, but this isn’t it.

      • Cb

        I have a hard time with their dresses. I bought one and thought it was all right but realized that it sat in the back of the closet because despite being big, it made me look kind of lumpy and like I had a really thick torso. I gave it to a friend who is a similar size but has totally different figure (me: straight up and down, her: tiny waist, more pronounced hips) and it looks like a completely different dress on her, it really suits her.

  6. DC Jenny

    TJ/Whine: I’m back in the office after a two-day hurricane break, and the first thing I see is that one of my unstable pro se plaintiffs is now attempting to sue me personally for a laundry list of things. Ugggghhh.

    • Ellen

      I even get the same thing. Pleatiff’s do NOT like to loose and when they do they blame me. FOOEY on them. The manageing partner actualy get’s our carier to take care of those. I would be litiegieting all day if I had to defend myself. Myrna just dropped me off. We were on the LI Expresway for 3 hour’s and thank goodness I have power here. I do NOT think we have any at work, but the manageing partner want’s me to take a bus down later to see. I will be abel to stop and Lord and Taylor’s to see if they have nice rain boot’s. He told me he would pay for a pair b/c I ruined by suede boot’s. Yay! If the office is geting power, I am to call him and he will get Frank to come in and do the month end acounting. Frank live’s in the City somewhere. Lynn live’s in Brooklyn somewhere so I do NOT think she will come in any time soon. Just as well b/c I will do everything myself. I do NOT like to do breif’s that she does not finalize tho. Not sure yet about this week’s calendar, but will check when I get into the office. I just have way to much on my calender for a single girl. FOOEY! If I were MARRIED, I could have my husband do alot of this. FOOEY!

    • Regular

      Last year, my firm defended a case brought by an unstable former employee. He then filed complaints against every attorney on our pleading to every agency and organization he could think of, including the Bar of every state we were admitted in. They were obligated to investigate his claims. Ugggghhh indeed.

  7. Blonde Lawyer

    I’ve never really given this much thought until this case showed up in the press/family law blogs. When unwed parents that are no longer in a relationship disagree on what last name a baby should have, what should the court do?

    In this case the mother wanted her last name and the father’s parents (who are relevant b/c father is 15) want the baby to have his last name. The court removed the child’s birth middle name, made the mother’s last name the baby’s middle name and made the father’s last name the last name. The mom has “primary custody” under the old language. Their a lot of competing legal issues here – best interest of the child, prior sexist customs (mother’s argument), for example.

    The court mentions the mother’s suggestion that the last name be hyphenated but then says they don’t consider that suggestion because it wasn’t argued. I’m not sure how it wasn’t argued if it wasn’t suggested, but anyways . . . thoughts?

    http://www.courts.state.nh.us/supreme/opinions/2012/2012110namechange.pdf

    • JessC

      While I agree that the trial court’s decision to make the dad’s name the baby’s actual last name and the mom’s name the middle name was a bit arbitrary (and even a perhaps a bit sexist) – the biggest hurdle appellate counsel appears to have had was getting the court to review the case de novo rather than on an abuse of discretion standard, which is a really hard review standard to overcome.
      That being said, while I appreciate the Court trying to compromise and work both parents’ names in, I don’t agree with the ultimate decision. At least the kid can change his name when he becomes an adult if he chooses.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Gah – just saw “their a lot” lol. I started one sentence, walked away from my post and started another. I do know the difference between there, their and they’re AND I know that should say “there are a lot.” Grrrr.

      • KC

        It happens to the best of us :) The downside of knowing proper grammar is that personal mistakes seem all the more pronounced…

    • Lady Enginerd

      I hope I’m reading the legalese right. My layperson’s smell test says that when Dad is a jerk about the baby, offering no emotional or financial support during pregnancy or the first few months of the child’s life, then he has no right to have the only thing he does deign to bestow upon the kid be his name. The father’s parents sound like real pieces of work to me if they’re willing to go to court to rename their grandchild when the mom has primary custody.

      I have no idea what the law is, but this outcome just seems wrong to me. If a guy wants naming rights, he’d better take on some responsibilities of fatherhood prior to the chid being named. Once the kid has a name, that ship has sailed until the kid is old enough to make that decision. So that’s what the law would be if I were Queen of the Universe.

      • karenpadi

        This. I know a married couple where the mother kept her last name and it wasn’t clear that the father would be able to be at the birth. She threatened to give the baby her last name if he didn’t show. I thought that was fair.

        The father’s parents sound like a piece of work. I really hope they are paying child support and babysitting for free while the mother goes to school or work.

        • LadyEnginerd

          Unfortunately “real pieces of work” who do mindbogglingly selfish/controlling things like this probably aren’t doing the other generous things you mention out of the goodness of their hearts. This is probably not going to be the last time they’re going to try and use the court to get what they want over the objections of the mother. If I were the mom, I’d be worried that any generosity on the part of the grandparents (i.e. babysitting) had ulterior motives and was part of a bigger plot to obtain leverage for alterations in the custody agreement.

  8. Cb

    Just realized I’ve bragged so much about the wonder of pumpkin pie that I’ve committed myself to making 10 of them. I don’t mind the pie bit but the crust is such a pain. I buy the rollout kind but anyone have any tips in making this faster? An amazing recipe I should try?

    • SunnyD

      I have a wonderful pie crust recipe that you make inside the pie plate—put all the ingredients in a pile in the middle of the plate, mix together, and then press out around the sides of the plate. No rolling. And it tastes great. If you want the recipe, email me: SunnyD6206@aol.com.

      This works for the bottom crust and I never do a top crust because I’m too lazy. So I can’t help you there.

    • CW

      I just saw an amazing looking pie crust that used cinnamon rolls as the actual pie crust. They just took the rolls and rolled them into one pie crust but you could still see the cinnamon swirl shape. Not at all traditional, but I had one of those “I need to do that right now” moments.

    • Ruthy Sue

      I have a great family recipe that makes 5 crusts (so you’d just have to double it). It’s pretty easy, plus it is flaky and amazing. I don’t know that it’s easier than the pre-made kind, but it tastes better! You can email me at sarah@allthosedetails.com if you are interested. I think I’m making pumpkin pie tonight too :)

    • SoCal Gator

      Honestly I think Trader Joe’s frozen pie crusts are as good as homemade. I make apple pies and used to make my own crust but my family just loves the pies I make with the TJ’s crust. I swear by them. I roll them out a bit to make them a little thinner. Just thaw completely first

    • chicagoprof

      I make an amazing pie crust – Tt does not require hand kneading and turns out nice and flakey. One batch makes 4 crusts for pumpkin pie. Works best if you have a kitchenaid mixer, use the hook.

      3 cups flour
      1 tsp salt
      cut in 1 1/4 C butter
      1 Egg
      5 TBL ice cold water
      1 TBL vinegar

      Cut up the butter into small squares, dump in to flour / salt mix and let the hook knead the rest. Once it is in pea size chucks, add 1 egg and continue mixing till slightly mixed. Now add 5 Tablespoons ice cold water and 1 Tablespoon white vinegar, all at once. Continue letting the hook mix until it makes a ball and separates from the sides of the bowl.

      remove from mixer, split into four balls, rolls out, Voila!

    • KC

      Responses like this make me think we need a Corporette cookbook :)

      I have a very easy recipe, but it looks like the ones above have a much larger scale. If you’re not opposed to using pre-made crusts, I don’t think anyone can tell the difference. Just be sure to properly thaw them. I usually roll them out a bit thinner so that I get a larger crust, but your YMMV. I’m sure everyone will be pleased with the treat however you make it!

    • Nonny

      Seriously, if you are making 10 pies you deserve to use pre-made pastry.

      1 or 2 pies, maybe not. But 10, go for it. And you don’t have to tell anyone anything.

      • Cb

        Thanks! I’ve decided I’ll try something new (thanks for the recipes!) for my work and friends pies but go with premade for my 8 pie event. I have quite a reputation for living entirely off of cold food so the fact that I know how to turn on the oven should be impressive on its own.

        • SunnyD

          You and I were meant to be friends :). I have a beautiful kitchen and I only use the microwave.

    • AT

      This is a favorite among family and friends, and it doesn’t have a regular “crust” so it is super easy, and amazingly delicious.

      Upside Down Pumpkin Pecan Pie
      (Makes 2 Pies)
      29oz (3 ½ cups) canned pumpkin (not canned pumpkin pie mix)
      12oz (1 1/3 cups) evaporated milk
      1 cup golden brown sugar
      ½ cup granulated sugar
      4 large eggs
      4 tsps pumpkin pie spice
      1 tsp cinnamon
      1 tsp salt
      1 package yellow “pudding in the mix” cake mix
      1 ½ cups chopped pecans
      2 sticks Unsalted butter or margarine, melted
      Whipped cream for serving, if desired

      Preheat oven to 325F.
      Whisk pumpkin, evaporated milk, sugars, eggs, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, and salt in large bowl.
      Grease two 9 inch pie pans. Line each with a 14 inch piece of waxed paper (can trim to fit – but be sure to leave a little excess to ease removal after baking).
      Pour half of filling into each pie pan.
      Sprinkle top of each pie with cake mix; top cake mix layer with chopped pecans.
      Drizzle melted butter over each pie.
      Bake in center of oven for 55-60 minutes, or until top is deeply browned and knife inserted in center comes out clean.
      Cool; refrigerate at least 4 hours, or overnight.
      To serve – turn upside down onto platter. Remove pie pan and waxed paper. Garnish with whipped cream and additional pecans if desired.

      Notes:
      Pies freeze well (I have, on occasion, done all the prep and then carefully put the piepan in a freezer bag and frozen it to thaw and bake later — just wait to drizzle the butter). You can also make this in rectangular or square baking dish for pumpkin pecan bars. If the top looks creased/less than perfect b/c of how it set with the waxed paper, just cover with whipped cream :-) Or be more meticulous with cutting and fitting the waxed paper.

  9. anon re: IUD

    Just wanted to provide an update to my stress-out of yesterday with the New Guy maybe running for the hills once he heard that I had no idea when I’d be able to have sex or how long it would take to not be spotting heavily and in crampy, miserable pain because of my recently inserted IUD; or, if I didn’t tell him, him thinking I was really weird or super conservative or had a serious disease or whatever.

    I had perhaps too much wine last night and when he started to move to take things to the next level, I blurted out, “I JUST DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK I HAVE AIDS.”

    (…. Yeah.)

    He was flabbergasted, and then I tried to explain that I couldn’t have a ladygarden party, even though I definitely wanted to, and I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to, because I was trying this new birth control and it was making me feel sick. And I peppered this with comments about how if he didn’t want to see me anymore, I *totally* understood and I would *not* be mad and he should just tell me now if that’s how he felt… (definitely too much wine).

    But I swear, he took a page right out of the Prince Charming playbook when he was like, “Dude. Calm down. I don’t care if you can’t have sex for a few weeks. Or six months. Or a year. I don’t CARE. I am really falling for you. The sex is… just gravy. I’m happy to hang out with you doing *whatever* you feel comfortable with and ready for at whatever pace you want.”

    So thanks, ladies, for calming me down yesterday! Clearly it did not go as bad as I had feared, and I feel a little silly for being so nervous about it.

    • TCFKAG

      Awwww. Boys are really being so great on the ‘rette this week! (Though if it were me, I’d be like IT BETTER NOT BE A YEAR.) :-)

      • KC

        All these happy ‘r3tte relationship stories are great :)

        Glad he took the news extra well!

    • TCFKAG

      Doh — mod-botted for name of this site.

      Awwww. Boys are really being so great on the [this site] this week! (Though if it were me, I’d be like IT BETTER NOT BE A YEAR.) :-)

      • anon re: IUD

        Yeah I was like well um, I would care if it had been a year. Sorry, I’m shallow and my garden needs tending to. Ahem.

    • Always a NYer

      That is adorable! And such reassurance that there are guys like that out there. Your Prince Charming is a keeper!!!

    • De

      I missed this all yesterday on account of no power, but this guy sounds awesome. Your wine-induced speech sounds like something I would do, but I’m glad it worked out!

    • CKB

      Awww, that’s so sweet. He’s definitely a keeper! IMO, if he’s understanding about this issue, he’ll be understanding about bigger things too, which is an awesome quality in a guy.

    • SF Bay Associate

      Way to go, anon re IUD, both for being honest and for finding such a great guy. Awesome.

    • NYCG

      Good for you! Not to be overly sensitive, but some readers of this site may very well be HIV-positive, and to them the “blurting out” part of your report (put in all caps for good measure) is probably not all that hilarious. I have two good friends who are HIV-positive. They have both expressed how incredibly painful it is to need to break this news to potential partners, early in the dating process.

      • anon re: IUD

        That is a completely fair comment and on reread, I can see how hurtful it could come off. I apologize.

      • anon

        Thank you. I thought about saying something, but was too embarassed to say something. The fact that it was something that was so shameful you could have left out of the telling.

        • anon re: IUD

          I am sorry, I didn’t think through that comment and didn’t intend to hurt anyone. It was poorly chosen and I should not have written it.

    • springtime

      The comment you blurted out make me laugh out loud. That is hilariously awkward. So glad it worked out! Awww

      • anon

        yes. how akward, especially if you are a r3tt3 reading that and are reminded again that your disease is someone else’s “akward moment” and it is once again, the brunt of a joke.

    • zora

      AAwwww, that is SO SWEET, you have a great one there! And now the awkward part will just be a funny story in the future ;o) I’m so glad you’ve told him and he’s not running away, yay! ;o)

    • Nonny

      Wow. He sounds awesome. Kudos to you for finding him! And don’t you feel so much better now that that conversation is over and he knows?

  10. Rural Juror

    I have 3 JCrew codes if anyone wants them – they expire today. For 20% off orders of $150 +

    I’m in Canada but I don’t know that they’re Canada specific?

    RAFLK5VYU
    RAFW8SAZY
    RAF9T3V2E

    • BMBG

      Used the last one … thanks so much! I was eyeing a purse, and just needed a little encouragement to pull the trigger. ;o)

  11. anon

    Someone mentioned yesterday that the big Michael Kors watches go on sale for Black Friday. I’ve never been involved in Black Friday madness. I won’t be going out, so I’d like to be able to get deals online. Any tips on where to get an MK watch the day after Thanksgiving from my couch? Will I have to wake up really early?

    • Merabella

      The best thing about shopping online for Black Friday is that most of the deals start early – like Thanksgiving. This might be the time to get one of those apps that track the prices for you. I think Macys had a pretty good online sale last year, I would start there.

      • Anonee

        What Merabella said. The sales always start early online. You should be able to buy watches from Nordstrom, Macys, Bloomingdales or Lord and Taylor. Good luck!

    • springtime

      That was probably me- I am not in the states but was going to be visiting during Christmas. I happened to stumble upon the Nordstrom website where I was stalking the watches (cheaper than buying here because of exchange and tax rates), and I saw it was on sale. So I bought it online because I had already tried it on at the MK store.

      I got it 40% off. Squee!

      • springtime

        sorry forgot to mention- I didn’t get up early. And I thought about it for few hours before purchase. I think it was the Friday. I think watches aren’t exactly on people’s black Friday radar. Electronics seem to go faster.

  12. anon

    This is a rant possible because of my anonymous internet self, which I would not be brave enough to say in real life. But I really, really don’t intend it to be mean or snarky, just informative.

    Dear also pregnant associate working down the hall,

    I’m REALLY GLAD that your pregnancy is going so well. I’m glad that at 21 weeks you still don’t show. I’m glad you have had no nausea, ran a 10K last weekend, and have exceeded your billables this quarter.

    BUT – I am SO TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT HOW YOU THINK PEOPLE USE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE. I am SO TIRED of hearing you walk around and tell anyone who will listen – associates/partners on how pregnancy doesn’t affect anything and women who say it does are just looking for excuses and sympathy. I cannot go to get a bottle of water without running into you telling someone these things.

    You see – I always thought I would be you. But guess what? I am 13 weeks pregnant. No, I haven’t told yet, although I imagine everyone knows something is up. Because…

    I have thrown up no less than 5x/day for the last four weeks. I can’t keep anything down. I haven’t eaten anything that is not vanilla pudding, white bread, or milk in more than 6 days. I can take only one of the two anti-nausea medications, and only that at night because it renders me unconscious within 30 minutes.

    I have not slept longer than 5 hours in a month.

    I have lost 3 pounds since becoming pregnant, yet my body has bloated/shifted so dramatically that none of my pants zip up anymore. Even if I lay on my back on the bed. That is why I am wearing nothing but Target dresses and tights and cardigans until I can get to a store.

    I ran a half-marathon five months ago. On Sunday? I had to sit down in the middle of the high school track after walking 3/4 of a mile because I was too dizzy to stay upright.

    And guess what? My doctor has checked me out and said everything is fine and WITHIN THE NORMAL RANGE OF PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS.

    So, please. I hope you and your baby continue to be wonderful. But please stop the mommy-wars before we even give birth.

    Thanks,
    One of the approximately 15 currently-pregnant ‘r e t t es.

    • anon

      You have my very deep sympathies. That is a terrible situation. Could you mention it to her quietly so you don’t have to out yourself as pregnant yet? I don’t know if that would work with someone like her, though.

      • Motoko Kusanagi

        Given the description of her behavior thusfar, I doubt that confiding in her would help. She’s seems to be the type to have decided that pregnancy (and, probably, everything else in life) is a contest and SHE IS WINNING! And wants everyone to know it.

        • phillygirlruns

          agree with this. so sorry you’re dealing with her…she sounds insufferable.

        • Research, Not Law

          Agree with this. Yuck. I’m so sorry.

          And I’m sure you don’t need more validation, but yes, you are unfortunately experiencing very normal symptoms. Bleh!

          And 100% agree that karma is going to send her an appropriate experience.

          • Research, Not Law

            PS – unisom sleep tabs will really help with the insomnia and nausea!

      • WorkingMom

        Ugh… what a piece of work! Sorry you have to be exposed to that on a daily basis… in addition to the sickness and all other lovely pregnancy symptoms! Good news is that YOU are normal, her experience (while wonderful for her!) is NOT normal.

        I experienced the same post-pregnancy… while some friends were out and about within a week of delivery, at two weeks post partum I will still sporting diaper-sized pads and was having ALL sorts of issues, upstairs and downstairs :/

        Hang in there, momma!

    • TBK

      Ugh. Look, I haven’t been pregnant (yet) so I don’t know how I’ll react. But I am one of those annoying people who simply never. get. sick. Mr. TBK had pneumonia with a 105 temp and could only lie in bed groaning for two weeks. I got a slight rattle in my chest and was fine within 48 hours. But I also realize that bodies react to things differently and that your personal reaction has nothing to do with willpower or moral fiber. I’d say assume this lady has serious self-esteem issues, otherwise why would she have to pump up her own prengnancy at the expense of everyone else? her poor child.

    • Anon in this

      Ugh, that’s terrible! Good for her but why attack others? It’s perfectly normal to feel crappy. I’m at 10 weeks and can eat some stuff, but the kid decided hurricane time was keep mommy throwing up time. Sleeping well is a surprise and goodness knows walking more than a few blocks at a turtle’s pace makes me dizzy. Some of my friends had good pregnancies. Some had terrible ones. No one judged no one else, cause it’s different for everyone! Hang in there. I bet lots of people in your office want her to shut it cause their or their spouses’ pregnancies weren’t rainbows and unicorns.

    • hellskitchen

      Next time you hear her bragging, tell her that Kerri Walsh Jennings was 5 weeks pregnant when she won the volleyball gold in London so you don’t see the big deal about a 10K. That ought to shut her up. I hate people like her who assume that what they experience must be true for everyone else.

      • Lady Enginerd

        A shallow part of me gleefully chuckled when I read your comment, in part because I know certain people who wouldn’t miss a beat and would start arguing that their 10k is harder …

    • Silvercurls

      Also anon: I hear you. It makes me furious when people brag about how easily they can handle something I find difficult or impossible. But think of it this way: people have Happy Life Events (romance, marriage, pregnancy, etc.) all the time but if they’re really secure and mature, do they share all the details plus their nonstop editorializing with all of their coworkers?

      Keep telling yourself that YOU are handling things much more gracefully. You may be nonstop nauseous but you’re still at work and NOT bragging about it. Alternative: think of this as good practice in doing what you want (or have to) regardless of annoying people and their comments. It’s amaaaazing how some people feel totally entitled to barge in with their opinions after the baby arrives. Or, amuse yourself by thinking of all the rude, smart*ss things you could say (but won’t, because you’re too much of a class act) in reply.

    • Lady Enginerd

      Clearly she’s asking the universe to make her either have a difficult late pregnancy or a truly awful pregnancy when she has another kid (or terrible terrible twos). She has to be insecure about something. Is this part of a campaign to show how serious she is about her job to convince everyone she will be back after maternity leave? If so, she’s doing it wrong.

      • CKB

        Or a difficult birth or a colicky baby. In my experience, you always get it at some point. My colicky babies were wonderful toddler/preschoolers. My easy baby was a difficult preschooler. My easy birth was followed by Bell’s Palsy 3 days later.

        Hang in there! And I’m sure you’ve tried tons of things for your nausea, but Jolly Ranchers helped me. Something about the sour & sweet mixed with the sucking on the candy helped my stomach. Of course, YMMV. And my morning sickness wasn’t quite as bad as yours.

    • Anon

      Here’s hoping she gets bed rest. Haha. Just kidding. Kind of.

      Here’s also hoping that your body snaps out of it in a few weeks and you have that glorious second trimester that some people have.

      • Anastasia

        I’m not the braggy associate in this story but I’ve had her early pregnancy experience… and OB appts every 2 weeks from the 2nd trimester on, AND a threat of bed rest looming over my head. The universe always gets you back somehow! I haven’t told at work yet (though that needs to happen soon, now that the every-two-week thing has kicked in in), but when I do, this story doubles down my resolve to say nothing but “I’ve been really lucky to feel almost-normal so far.”

        For the OP, I’m so sorry you have all the uncomfortable symptoms AND an obnoxious coworker within earshot; I hope they both let up soon. You are a champ for dealing with all that at work! The one morning I did get sick, the only thing I thought was, “thank goodness I was at home!” and I curled up on the couch for a half hour afterward and was late for work that day. Hats off to all you ladies who power through.

        • goirishkj

          I’m late, and just want to add to this. Hopefully I’m not the braggy coworker, but I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy so far. When someone asks, I admit that I’ve been lucky because I don’t think it is right to not acknowledge the luck. However–I have to give myself a shot in my belly every single day to prevent blood clots. So, I think there’s something to the universe getting people back in the long run! I didn’t get sick and had very mild nausea first trimester, but then there’s though shots.

          OP–I really really hope it gets better for you and that as you get further into your second trimester, you have an easier pregnancy. Or that you have an easy birth or an easy baby–the universe needs to repay you. And to reward your patience for dealing with your coworker. I’d want to slap her if I were you, so kudos for taking the higher road.

    • petitesq

      She’s a Magical Pregnancy Unicorn! If you haven’t seen What to Expect When You’re Expecting, please do, if for no reason other than that quote. Her experience is the exception, not yours (you know, here in reality), and not keeping those things to herself shows a lack of class and tact. I agree with the commenter above that somewhere deep inside, she is insecure about something, and I have to add how much I can’t stand the women-hating BY women. What a loathsome person to drag other women down based on what really amounts to her own luck in her experience. //rant off

      • manomanon

        YES!! This is what I was thinking as I read it… and … let’s just say being the Unicorn didn’t work out all that well
        good luck and hugs!!

    • mamabear

      You know, I was pregnant at the same time as another woman in my office. She had one of those cute, round, stick out in front bellies and was stick thin everywhere else. I was pregnant in my belly, my butt, my thighs, my arms, my face, you name it. She looked much, much cuter than I did. People liked to compare us and say, but Eileen is due two weeks before you. I can’t believe it!

      At the end of the day though, I wouldn’t have traded my awesome daughter for Eileen’s baby. And I had forgotten all about Eileen until I saw your post. Don’t worry about it. People say all kinds of weird things to the visibly pregnant & the pregnant themselves have a tendency to talk about nothing but their pregnancies (i’m sure you’re not, but try not to be that girl.) I think we tend to lose sight of the fact that pregnancy is a short phase followed by a lifetime of being a parent. So, this too shall pass.

      Wait till people start touching your belly without asking. I have a story to tell you!

    • Midwest

      I’m sorry you have to deal with that. She sounds insufferable. (And really, really naive.)

    • e_pontellier

      omg hugs and tea and loves. This is horrible. What a jerk. I agree with other posters that karma’s a b!tch, this too shall pass, and you’re handling this situation FAR more gracefully than she is. Keep posting here and keep your head high (when you can). What a rotten apple to have to work with.

    • NoVAAtty

      I feel ya! I seem to work mainly with ladies who had children 15 years ago and so they have these whitewashed rosy memories of pregnancy and look shocked when I say I am miserable. It seems they have forgotten the unrelenting heartburn, knock down drag out fatigue, hip, pelvis, pub!c, and rib pain, and random emotional bursts of crying that could last from 10 minutes to 100 minutes. I hate pregnancy, and while I’m happy for those who enjoy this 10 months, I feel as if I have been serving a jail sentence, or diagnosed with a terrible illness.

      To each his own. Let them enjoy it, but don’t make me feel like a whiner for not. I won’t judge you for your happiness, don’t judge me for my misery.

    • I am a banana.

      Know that the associates/partners who she is talking to probably have the same reaction you do – that she is lucky/kind of obnoxious. And congratulations!

    • Niktaw

      Can’t shut up the pregnant coworker, but… Have you tried saltines for the nausea?

    • Maddie Ross

      If she feels that good and isn’t showing, she should have kept her darn mouth shut (IMHO) until she was further along.

    • Seventh Sister

      Don’t worry. She’s actually asking the universe for a kid who wakes her up every 90 minutes for the next four years, or some such. Just as my Friend-of-a-Friend The Undisputed Queen of Pediatric Nutrition wound up with a kid who can detect refined sugar at 30 paces.

        • Seventh Sister

          When I was about five, my mom got exasperated, leaned in real close and said, “when you grow up and have children, I hope you have a kid who is EXACTLY LIKE YOU.” She now denies ever having said that, but when my daughter goes off on some nutty tangent, I think the curse had great power!

    • SJ

      I’ve never been pregnant but I do occasionally suffer from stomach maladies and honey graham crackers can help with the nausea.

    • OP

      You guys:

      THANKS SO MUCH. Seriously, all these responses made me feel so much better. So much better! I’m going to bookmark this thread and keep it for those days I want to punch her in the face.

      • D

        I had a pregnancy like yours and it turned out to be hyperemesis gravidarum.
        Look into helpher.org.

    • Skippy pea

      How insufferable! My pregnancy too was a walk in the park, so I was thankful for it, never for a moment thinking that it was the same for others!

      To be sure, I had to have a c- sec, so I guess to all equals out in the end.

      Congrats on your pregnancy.

  13. anon

    Kat, is there any way to block the cupcake b**b ads at the top? They really do look like blurred out b**bs, and I obviously don’t want anyone walking by to see that.

  14. 7 year itch?

    I noticed a number of really cute dating tales lately such as the one above. Each one makes me smile in a doofy way. How awesome, I think. But it also makes me a tinge sad because when you’re in a long term r/ship, those squeekable moments are just farther and fewer. I love my DH, but we’ve been together for 7 years and I just no longer get all giddy. I don’t think this is a sign of bigger problems, but I thought I would ask – for those in LTRs, how do you maintain the magic? We don’t have kids, so it’s not like we need to just get away and rent a hotel room. I have no desire to be with anyone else, but I also want to occasionally experience that feeling where you giggle looking at a text or can’t wipe a silly grin of your face and sometimes it seems like that’s only possible in the falling in love phase. How do y’all do it?

    • Merabella

      I think the magic in LTRs is less fluttery butterfly feelings and more, wow this person really knows me feelings. I feel like with my DH we also have those moments where we are laughing so hard we are crying because of stupid things (that I would have never ever done in front of a boyfriend). I get to really be myself, and he still wants to hang out with me. I think that is pretty cool.

      • TBK

        +1 I don’t think you get the giddiness because most of that is realizing “OMG this person actually likes me!” And once you’re married, that’s kind of the default position. (E.g., Mr. TBK won huge points with me while we were dating because he pounded in a few nails to hang my Christmas wreath on my front door. Now that we’re married, I kind of expect he’ll hang our Christmas wreath each year even though I’m the only one who really cares whether we have a wreath or not.) But instead you have those moments when you realize you have exactly the same sense of humor even though no one else around you seems to. Or you see your SO do something impressive or especially kind for someone else and you think “Wow, this person picked ME to spend his whole life with — I’m so lucky.”

      • n.

        Yeah, I agree, I have many more “wow, this person really knows me” moments with my SO at this point in our relationship. Example: last night we were changing the sheets on the bed, and while I was fluffing the pillows I could see that he was waiting somewhat impatiently to dive into bed. I told him so, and he looked at me and laughed, and asked me how I knew that’s exactly what he was thinking. I can’t really say exactly how I knew, but after many years of living together, I know that my SO is the kind of guy who likes to jump with kid-like exuberance into a freshly made bed :)

      • Research, Not Law

        Agree. Whenever we have time away from work and the kids, we’re laughing our heads off. I always say “It’s such a relief that we still like each other!” He looks at me like I’m nuts, but I do feel like it’s amazing.

        I miss the flutters, too, but we do frequently tell each other how lucky we are to have the other in our lives. Not as exciting, but probably better?

        Although once he unexpectedly left a donut on my steering wheel and it was super thrilling ;)

    • PollyD

      Been with my BF for about 3x as long as you. Yes, the giddiness subsides, but in my case at least, it does come back. I guess you just realize over time that any relationship has its ups and downs and try not to let the downs get to you so much.

      Things that help me are just making the effort to go out and do things together. Like, go to the county fair, a museum you’ve never been to, a farmer’s market, even dinner – AND LEAVE THE PHONES IN THE CAR!!! Just experiencing things together and doing little things to reconnect can help.

      Probably not all that helpful, but maybe it will give you some ideas.

    • Kontraktor

      Have you read the book, the 5 Love Languages? Basically it says that people have different ways of feeling special/cared off based on different types of communication. For some people, they feel really special when they get gifts. Others feel special with physical touch. And so on and so forth. It might be a good book to read to think about the actions that make you feel most loved.

      Even if you don’t read the book, can you think about the things DH does that make you feel really happy/special/touched? I really like it when hubs brings flowers home randomly (and I always make sure to profusely tell him so when he does). But I also feel really special when he cleans without prompting or even asks for cuddles at a random time. Those sorts of things make me feel a little giddy that he cares for me in such a way. Maybe think of some things like that that your DH does/can do that make you feel really good that way and talk to him about it?

    • aNON

      Have experienced the same thing, and I think that you can choose to create magic to some degree. We have found that doing new/different things together helps. Like, going on a hike, going to a museum, going on a run or a long walk, going to see a play, etc. New food experiences (like Ethiopian) count because they can be an entirely new experience. Also, just taking time to recharge with each other helps. I have found that the emotional rush of doing these things with him mimics those feelings of giddiness (although not exactly). And while I sometimes mourn that the giddiness isn’t as ever present as it was in the beginning, I find that I vastly prefer the quieter heart-warming feeling I get when my DH brings me a cup of coffee in bed. And that creates magic. It’s a mental check to myself that I already have what I want.

    • Niktaw

      Don’t just sit there and wait for the other person to make you giddy… take initiative. If you feel like sending a silly text or making a compliment, do it. The other person’s happy reaction will make you feel wonderful even if he doesn’t respond in kind immediately.

    • Quiche

      I know you said you don’t have kids so you don’t “need” a hotel room/vacation to get away…but why can’t you do it anyway? I’ve been with my fiance 5 years (also no children), and taking vacations always makes us feel closer and more giddy together. Last week we took a long weekend, got a hotel room, went to a few museums, and we’re still talking about how much fun it was to just get away and be together without the everyday things getting in the way.

    • Jo March

      I make a concerted effort to remember all the time how lucky I feel to be with him, and try to look at him with the same eyes I had for him at the beginning (and before, when he wasn’t mine). It definitely helps! I also tell him – and think about – how grateful I am for him/us every.single.day.

      Also, kitchen dancing, random kissing, and holding hands all the time.

      It’s true that I don’t get weak when he’s near me like I used to, but my heart definitely still skips a beat after 2.5 years!

      • Jo March

        Also, what others have said about DOING FUN STUFF together is super-important. It’s really easy to stop having those kinds of dates once you’re settled, but they are a great way to keep excitement around.

        Finally, try to have lady-garden-parties in places other than the bedroom. I don’t mean in public (unless that’s your thing, lol), but also not in the same place every.single.time.

    • DealCube

      Avoid taking him for granted. Being mindful of the fact that we all tend to take those that are most important to us for granted really keeps the giddy feelings going. We you are doing something totally normal and boring, make yourself look up and really see your DH. Admire him, remember some shared moment between the two of you. Chances are, he’ll look up and see the way you are looking at him and the look will be reciprocated. Do spontaneous things that will make you and/or him smile. If you start making a habit of creating space in your relationship for the giddy moments to hit, you you’ll hopefully find that your DH starts doing the same thing.

      When you are in a new relationship, I think you are just constantly more observant. You are trying to figure things out, make judgments, get your bearings. When you’ve been around the block with a person multiple times over, your sense tend to shut down. So, I think it is less that the giddiness goes away and more that we just don’t notice it anymore. At least I’ve been lucky enough that when I go looking for it, I find its still there.

    • girl in the stix

      Sometimes it helps if you reverse it–try to make your SO feel giddy and in love like it was at the beginning. Compliment him/her on something, or let him/her know how hot s/he is, or buy him/her something just because. Takes two, ya know . . .

    • ss

      I’m early 40s, my husband is early 50s, we’ve been together nearly 20 years and I know we both project an increasing amount of gravitas to the outside world. So it really moves me that I’m one of the very few people (and probably the only person in his day-to-day life) who still gets to see the little kid in my husband, the one who does goofy air punches when something goes right and who will say “I need a hug, please” when it doesn’t.

      And I’d absolutely agree with everyone above who says that you have to TELL your guy when he does something especially endearing – how else does positive behaviour get encouraged ?

  15. TBK

    Just wanted to say three cheers for Mr. TBK for going out in the storm to move five sandbags (each 60lbs dry — no idea how heavy after 12 hours of downpour) just because I didn’t think they were in the most effective spot. Major husband points.

  16. Q

    GRUMBLE THREADJACK (grumblejack?): Oy, the person in the office next to me has a solo singalong to Adele every dang morning. I am really. starting. to hate. Adele. Thank the gods that my office has a door, but I can still kind of hear it through the wall.

  17. Hair extensions?

    I’d love to hear from any of you that have used hair extensions on a regular basis – I’m thinking of the clip in kind, although interested in the more permanent solution as well. I have fine, curly hair that has considerably thinned over the years and I’d like the option of a clip on, at least sometimes. I can’t use Rogaine due to a medical condition, so I was thinking hair extensions are the way to go. I don’t know how it would work given that my hair is curly, it seems like most of the extensions I see are for straight hair. Any advice and recs on specific brands would be greatly appreciated.

    • sdchicky619

      I have straight hair and no specific recommendations for brands, but I wanted to chime in to say my clip-in extensions are probably my all-time favorite beauty buy! I love them! I have a set of five individual extension pieces (they were sold together) and can switch up how many I use for how much volume/length I want. If possible, try to go to a salon or wig store where they custom-order the extensions for you.

      I advise getting multiple small pieces; the reason I say this is that small pieces are easier to hide in thin hair. One of my friends has very thin hair and ordered Jessica Simpson hairpiece that looked like a huge hairnet and had multiple pins/clips… it was impossible to get it to stay in because her hair couldn’t support the weight of the hairpiece.

      Also, I have a few friends who have gotten the more permanent type of extensions (glued in) and they are itchy, uncomfortable and don’t last as long as you think they would.

      Hope that helps – or at least encourages you in your search :)

      • Hair extensions?

        Thank you! This is so helpful. Had no idea about going to a wig store and getting custom extensions. Will look into it.

        • Sadie

          If you buy human hair extensions as opposed to synthetic, you can style them like regular hair to match yours (ie, flat iron, curl, whatever)

  18. Monday

    This might be kind of boring, but is anyone up for sharing their splurge vs. save lists for beauty items? I’ve been thinking about my own and am wondering if I can be smarter about this. Suggestions welcome.

    I buy drugstore whatevers for:
    –eyeliner, mascara
    –all hair products
    –face sunblock (but I think I may need to upgrade due to oiliness with every kind I’ve tried)
    –face wash and makeup remover
    –soap
    –body moisturizer
    –nail polish
    –hair color (recently switched from doing it in the salon)

    But I spend more for specific higher-end stuff for:
    –perfume
    –blush
    –lipstick
    –deodorant
    –some skin care

    • Kat

      I spend more on products I love but I still try to be judicious and look for deals. For example, my husband somehow found a deal for Murad pomegranate moisturizer which I haven’t bought in a while but I splurged. That said, it’s pretty rare for me to find a thing that I totally love.

    • petitesq

      Drugstore whatever face wipes, body lotion, deodorant, and body wash (and SO’s soap)

      Drugstore specific face lotion (Olay, but the fancy kind), eyeliner (Revlon), Mascara (CoverGirl orange tube unless I spend the extra $10 on MAC), some hair products (lookin’ at you, Frizz-Ease mousse), nail polish (OPI or Essie) and usually foundation (Almay tinted moisturizer, but sometimes will splurge).

      Spend list: shampoo/conditioner, blush, nighttime face cream, and a number of beauty items I don’t use as often (lipstick, perfume, eyeshadow, hair products for when I wear my hair straight).

      Moral of the story: It appears I splurge on things that are either complex in some way, or “treats”. I will say that the things I splurge on are things I absolutely miss when I use cheaper versions, and most are things that bring me joy or pleasure at the luxury and/or quality every time I use them. The basics that I go through frequently are just that – basic.

      More than you probably ever wanted to know, but there you have it.

    • Always a NYer

      Drugstore buys:
      Face Wash
      Makeup Remover
      Witch Hazel
      Mascara
      Dry Shampoo
      Argan Oil
      Deodorant
      Body Wash
      Body Lotion (love, love, love Jergens!)

      Splurge buys:
      Clarisonic and replacement brush heads every three months (not so much for hygiene as I always clean them but I find they lose their firmness)
      Face Creams (DDF Spf 45 for day and Dermalogica for night)
      Eye Creams
      Blush
      Lipstick
      Concealer (Cle de Peau)
      Eyeliner (Chanel Eye Kohl)
      Eyeshadow
      Shampoo for color-treated hair

      My mix buy is makeup brushes (I love Sonia Kashuk just as much, if not more, than MAC)

      I have very sensitive skin so I don’t mind investing in more expensive products. After years of trial and error, it seems I’ve finally found a good set of products that won’t break me out or drain my bank accounts. That and they last longer because I don’t need to use as much.

    • Maggie

      I buy pretty much everything at the drugstore. It hasn’t really occurred to me to look for higher end products because I’m very happy with my Olay/Cover Girl/L’Oreal favorites. If I wore perfume this would be the exception. I recently dyed my hair for the first time with drugstore hair color, and the woman who cuts my hair commented on how she loved the color and was surprised it came from a box (and seemed disappointed I wouldn’t be coloring my hair at the salon)! I’ll add the caveat that I only changed the color by a few shades so it is much easier for imperfections to blend in. Bottom line: even the “cheap” brand beauty products add up, and I’d rather spend the money on other things. For example, I’d rather dye my own hair but get my eyebrows waxed professionally.

      • Monday

        Yep, same thing with my hair color. I basically dye it the same as my natural color, just looks better without being bleached out by the sun, and I have a few grays. I realized that while some people’s dyeing makes sense for the salon, my needs are so simple there was no reason not to do it myself. I did a trial run and decided to stick with home coloring. I don’t have any pro eyebrow work either, though I just realized I do spend $22 on my brow pencil. It was very hard to find the right color.

      • Nellie

        Maggie and Monday, do you have recommendations for your preferred at-home hair color?

        • Monday

          Garnier foam worked fine for me. I am naturally dark-haired, doing dark color, so can’t speak to blonde or red, which I know is trickier.

        • Maggie

          I used L’Oreal Preference and liked it, but I have yet to see how it looks through root touchups, etc. I have very dark brown (not quite black) hair and went with a dark brown chestnut/auburn color so for me it just made my hair slightly lighter with reddish tint.

          I’d also like to second Monday’s point, that all over solid color is probably much easier than highlights, major color changes, etc. and I completely understand the need to go to the salon for that kind of thing. Knowing my (lack of) abilities, I’d probably end up looking ridiculous if I tried to do highlights myself!

    • Merabella

      I love Clinique’s All About Eyes Rich eyecream, that is probably my only splurge. I also normally buy drugstore mascara, but recently got the Laura Mercier mascara and it is seriously THE BEST! Most of my stuff comes from the drugstore though. I have good skin (thank you whoever is responsible for that), so I don’t see the point in spending a lot of money on stuff that doesn’t make that big of a difference, and sometimes causes issues.

      I did buy a face brush and a dry brush and I have found that has made a big difference in my skin’s coloring and texture, and I highly suggest them. I think both brushes total were $11 on Amazon. I think the face brush makes even my cheapo face wash awesome because it exfoliates.

      • Merabella

        BTW Sunscreen always makes me break out, but I bought Neutrogena’s Clear Face Liquid Lotion Sunblock and didn’t break out at all. Highly recommended. I also used it all over.

    • CKB

      I mostly save. Spent too many years too broke to splurge, so I searched out my fave products.

      -Facial lotion – Nutraderm – cheap & so light it works really well for my oily skin. Was recommended to me years ago by a derm
      -Mascara – the Cover Girl lash blast orange tube – love it
      -Eye makeup remover – I love Avon’s lotion remover. Super cheap & works remarkably well
      -eye shadow – whatever I find at the drugstore in colors I like
      -shampoo – sulfate free Live Clean (I think it’s a Canadian brand)
      -Conditioners – I have curly hair & have found 3 no-cone conditioners from the drugstore that I use regularly – one to ‘wash’ my hair (Suave) and the others I alternate (Aussie Moist & Garnier Color something)
      -Hair Color – use Garnier
      -Body wash & deoderant – what ever is on sale or at Costco
      -Body lotion – Vaseline intensive care works best on the dry skin on my legs

      I’ve been trying to splurge a little more on things like eye cream & foundation, so I started with Clinique because that was also recommended to me by a derm years ago

      I’ve been splurging more now that I can afford to, but only replace my old, inexpensive standbys if I find something I really like better.

    • Niktaw

      I time my department store purchases to GWP events so my eyeshadow and lipstick needs are (mostly) taken care of.
      I usually buy higher-end foundation, powder and eyeliners. I use brands like Clinique and Kiehl’s a lot… they are considered above drugstore but their staples are really very affordable.

    • JessC

      Splurge:
      Foundation/powder (all-over face makeup)
      Face wash/moisturizers
      Shampoo and conditioner
      Body wash

      Save:
      Body lotion
      Deoderant
      Hair styling products (hair spray and mousse)
      Make-up remover face wipes
      Eyeliner, shadow, and mascara (Maybelline in the yellow and purple tube)
      Lipstick/glosses
      Nail polish (mostly)

      Body wash only goes in the splurge list because without fail my dad buys me Bath and Body Works stuff at either my Bday or Christmas (left to my own devices, I probably wouldn’t spend quite that much on body wash). Nail polish kind of goes in both categories – my collection is about half and half pricier brands and drugstore brands.

    • AIMS

      My splurge vs. save list is almost identical. I buy more expensive eye cream but usually use drugstore (Aveeno) face wash and moisturizer. I have recently started buying dept. store deodorant and I am shocked at how much better it is. I got to a point where nothing in the drugstore worked for me but Clinique ap/deodorant is amazing – to the extent that it’s a bit more $$, I feel like I am saving so much on dry cleaning and laundry.

      I have also recently abandoned my drugstore mascara (L’Oreal Voluminous) – it just isn’t as nice as it used to be. I used to prefer it to Dior and all the other “great” mascaras, but I think they switched formulas. Now I use the Laura Mercier Volume one. The other area where I semi-splurge is face masks – I get the stuff at the drug store but it’s the pricier French pharmacy brands like Lierac and Avene. But for hair products I really can’t say I’ve found anything pricy that I felt was worth it. My hair just looks best with Head & Shoulders and Pantene.

      • Monday

        WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY???? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS????

        Kidding…mostly!

        I’m still dealing with L’Oreal Voluminous but note your recommendation. I find Almay i-color to still be a satisfactory drugstore mascara. I like a brown-black color, and unfortunately a lot of the better brands do not make one.

        • AIMS

          Haha, sorry! We’re uptown so luckily no issues. Spent yesterday just drinking wine and entertaining friends without power so they could recharge their batteries (literally and not so literally). I hope you made it through the storm relatively okay, too?? I was actually super panicked this site would be down after Monday night. Keeping my fingers crossed that everyone who hasn’t been making an appearance is safe and sound.

          On the mascara front, I totally forgot about Almay. Good call!

    • (former) Clueless Summer

      Splurges:

      mascara
      nail polish (well I will splurge but also LOVE Revlon polishes, they rock)
      conditioner (but not shampoo – I find I can use any bad shampoo but must.have.my.conditioner)
      blush and bronzer
      perfume
      moisturizer and sunscreen
      heat protector for hair

      Saves:
      foundation
      shampoo
      cleanser
      eye shadow
      body wash
      deoderant
      hairspray/straightening stuff
      general body products although scrubs I make at home

      Even my saves, I have very particular brands. I won’t stray from those for savings of a dollar or two.

    • BPM

      Drugstore :
      – mascara (Whatever brand that promises me thick lashes )

      Mid-range :
      – the few face and body products I use since my skin is very sensitive – mostly Avene.

      Splurge :
      – perfume
      – foundation (Armani)
      – shampoo (Kerastase … I’m all for organic products but I’ve never found better than this brand)

      For most “upper layer” make up (blush, eye shadow, lipstick), I try a color in a drugstore brand first, and, if I like it, go find a better-quality version. I’m inept at choosing colors that suit me/go together so I’d rather make a 10$ mistake than a 30$ one.

    • NOLA

      Drugstore/Target:
      Lotion/moisturizer
      Make-up remover (Almay)
      mascara (Almay)
      eyeliner (Almay)
      Body wash (Dove)
      Ivory soap
      Lip balm (Carmex)
      Nail topcoat (Sally Hansen Insta-Dri)
      Hair spray (Garnier Nutrisse)
      Shampoo (Rusk Brilliance- now sold at Target or Marshall’s)

      Splurge:
      Tinted moisturizer (MAC)
      Eye shadow (Clinique)
      Loose powder (MAC)
      lipstick and lipgloss (MAC)
      Rusk thick spray
      and I get my highlights done at a salon

    • TBK

      Most of my stuff is drugstore, so it might be easier to just say what is not:
      – foundation
      – lipstick
      – concealer
      – perfume
      – cream or liquid cheek color
      I go to the department stores/Sephora for these because I feel like there’s a real difference in how they wear and how they go on (drugstore lipsticks are always just a little too bright/harsh/orange), or because it’s so hard to match properly (foundation/concealer).

      Everything else is drugstore and often not even a specific brand (although I do have favorites for body lotion and moisturizer).

    • sdchicky619

      Save:
      all shower stuff – generic body wash, shamp/cond, shaving cream, etc.
      mascara – any drugstore brand, usually maybelline, revlon or cover girl
      lip gloss/lipstick – usually revlon, I love their just bitten kissable lip stains
      eyeliner – almay
      dry shampoo
      hairspray
      deodorant
      makeup remover – I swear by oil-free almay
      makeup remover wipes – whatever is cheapest
      body lotion – st. ives
      nail polish – I have found that a lot of the cheap ones stay on fine with a good base coat

      Splurge:
      foundation – makeup 4 ever
      powder – MAC
      eyeshadows – all MAC
      blush/bronzer -all MAC
      primer – korres – although I can find this for cheap on amazon
      eyeshadow primer – urban decay
      anti-frizz serum/smoothing spray – SUDZZFX Liquid Luxe Luxury Mist
      perfume

      Save/Splurge:
      face wash – alternate between proactiv and generic foaming face wash
      brushes – splurge on a great foundation brush/save on a cheap powder brush

    • des-pairing

      Save: All from CVS
      – Makeup remover (store brand)
      – Hair products
      – Mascara
      – Body wash
      – Chapstick
      Splurge:
      – Face wash, toner (Origins) and moisturiser (Clinique)
      – Eye cream (Origins)
      – Foundation (Origins, Clinique)
      – Primer (Veil Hourglass)

      I have sensitive, break-out prone skin, so my splurges are for preventive purposes. Also, I buy most of my splurges from Sephora and use their points to get the things I don’t buy- like eye shadows, lip gloss, blush- which is great for the few times a year I actually use them.

  19. Anon

    In your experience what personal talents/abilities are necessary to be a successful biglaw associate?
    What about partner?

    • springtime

      Associate: Organized, detail-oriented, calm, ability to speak up, confident but not too confident, easy to talk to, does not crack under pressure…

    • d

      Well, I’m having one of those days, so my list would be:

      -crazy.
      -able to self-motivate over minutae
      -personal enjoyment of arguing about minutae with d-bags.
      -attention to detail
      -strong writing ability
      -strong research ability
      -motivated by money
      -adderall script
      -lack of concern over enormous hourly rate/cost benefit analysis
      -able to articulate things forcefully/confidently even if you aren’t 100% (or even 20%) sure what’s going on.
      -large student loan debt to keep you motivated
      -well-connected family or close friends or a personality where you’re able to make those connections OR acceptance of the fact that you will be doing all-nighters researching nuances of a statutory interpretation while someone who gets paid 20x’s what you do plays golf and goes to str!p club with [his dad’s] clients.

  20. eek

    To the person that stole my yogurt (Fage, if it was Dannon or something I’d be like whatever) which was on the counter while my pizza was warming up in the microwave…..I want to punch you. Today was the wrong day. I walked all over the floor looking for you, but couldn’t find you….yet. This is war. *rawr*

    • SunnyD

      There are so many things that happen and I wonder “why are people weird.” This makes my list today.

    • SF Bay Associate

      ARGH. I will totally enlist for your war. Whatever you need, eek. I have a Fage today too (on sale at Target, 10 for $10!) and will cut a b!tch that steals my Fage.

      • mamabear

        Can I just ask, how is it that the food industry ONLY JUST NOW discovered how to make yogurt that would make all of us cut a b1tch?

        • SF Bay Associate

          Because by “all of us” you mean people who don’t want sugary, artificial tasting yogurt. Which is not many people, I think, sad to say. They like the bright pink sweet yoplait. That’s what they know. Plus, I think that the giant food companies really don’t want to make any changes. They are making plenty of money with their products, and have no incentive to offer alternatives which will cost them more money to produce. Real greek yogurt is strained, and therefore more expensive to make because the manufacturer loses a lot of the milk in the straining process. That’s why fake greek yogurt (hi, Yoplait, Dannon, and I think Chobani?) use thickeners to thicken the “greek” yogurt instead of actually straining it, so they can get more “greek” yogurt out of the same amount of milk. It’s all right there in the ingredient list.

          Meanwhile, if anyone takes my 1% Fage (I mix 0% and 2%) with ollalieberry honey, I will indeed cut them.

        • eek

          I know – right? I’m taking it all so personally. That brand is so beloved to me.

          I’d also like to take this opportunity to give back to my F@ge Army and recommend the LiberteMediterranee brand of yogurt. It’s like custard and all the good things in the world wrapped into 250 calories of bliss.

    • Anon

      I’m sorry :(

      I don’t know a thing about your office, but in my office, the counter by the microwaves (as well as the big break room table) are where people always leave “free to good home!” food. Is it possible that someone mistook your yogurt for a give-away?

      • eek

        I think that’s probably what happened. But I also had it on top of my pizza box with my spoon and fork and water. And here I thought I worked with bright people. Sigh.

    • TCFKAG

      Did you check the fridge? Maybe they thought they were being nice and put it away for you.

      • eek

        I did and someone else has 2 Fages in there but they are cherry and pomegranate. I had strawberry. I set it out on top of a plate and turned around to wash my hands. Some ninja took it. Seriously. I checked the trash to make sure it didn’t get knocked over. We are talking 60 seconds where it was out of my sight.

        Thank goodness I dont’ have kids, I can’t even protect my Fage.

    • NOLA

      Oh gosh, I had to post a “Stop Thief!” sign on our staff lounge fridge after someone repeatedly stole cheese and yogurt. We’re pretty sure it was the wackadoo assistant of someone in our building. She overheard me telling my colleague about the theft and asked “What color was the cheese?” So bizarre. Then we found a half eaten cheese sandwich hidden in the empty office next to hers.

      • eek

        I really did walk the whole floor to see if I could find the culprit. (shame). It’s just that I missed my train this morning because I got behind a school bus and then a trash truck going 15MPH (so much for buffer time) and then I had to grab slugs and drive in, etc. etc. I think from now on I will take a post-it note and label my stuff. This shall not happen again.

        I feel so stupid for being upset, but today has been one error after another.

      • Lalo

        In college I lived in my sorority for one semester and a girl would constantly send out emails about people taking her food. One night I walked home and I found her eating my brand new mango sorbet with my name all over it. Then she looked at me and said, “well, someone at my cheese.” Cheese that she had taken from an event there earlier in the day. So I guess it made it ok. No. It did not.

        • lucy stone

          Somebody in my sorority house also filched food all the time. Our chapter president put a note on her food that said “Steal this if you want, but I licked it first.” The filching stopped. :)

  21. Help for a supervising attorney

    Hive help needed! I work at a NFP and will soon be the supervising attorney for our law student interns. I have seen some of their work product and it is subpar. I have also gotten feedback from their current supervisor who tells me some of them have issues with taking direction and follow up/follow through. I have supervised paid employees before and have no problem with setting expectations and feedback/discipline, etc., but I am unsure how to address serious deficiencies with unpaid interns. I realize part of my responsibility is to mentor them and teach but how do I address an on-going problem of not meeting expectations? I am expecting them to be given an issue and to research and write a legal memo without much assistance. Is that too much? How high can (should) the expectations be with unpaid interns? If they are not meeting expectations what can I do?

    • mascot

      For work product, the expectation is that they perform to the level of a law student/new lawyer. I wouldn’t expect them to have the skills and experience of someone who is been out in practice for years. I assume that they aren’t getting class credit for this? I wouldn’t expect them to come in on weekends to work, but I still think you can emphasize that they need to work hard to get anything out of the experience. Follow through and discipline are big skills that they will need. You can still call them out on it (nicely) so they get the lesson without the real world consequences.

      • Help for a supervising attorney

        Yes it is for class credit. That is a good point about calling them out on issues without real world consequences.

    • AIMS

      I find it is helpful to set clear expectations for interns. I have a sit down with them at the outset and give them an outline of what they need to do in, say, a memo and a sample memo to help contextualize what’s expected. If it’s a research assignment, I will sometimes write down the issues. This way, when it’s not done right, it’s easier to retrace the steps and figure out what went wrong.

      That said, I don’t think it’s helpful to treat them differently from paid employees when doling out feedback. I always just preface it with, “I know you’re still in school and this is an unpaid internship, but if this was your full time job ….” I think treating them differently isn’t helpful, because the whole point of an internship is supposed to be like a long interview for a job.

      • TBK

        +1 on this. Also, could you try scheduling check ins with them to monitor progress until they’ve shown their ability? So for a research memo, you might have them go draft a list of the issues, then check in, then go create a list of sources they plan to use along with what search terms they’d use, then draft an outline based on their research with rough citations to sources, then finalize the memo. This creates extra steps for you along the way, but it might help to produce a work product that’s actually useable. You would also be able to see where they might be getting off track (e.g., they plan to do Westlaw searches in your jurisdiction but they’ve forgotten about the loose-leafs) and to suggest things that would improve the product. This could be extremely helpful and educational for them while helping them to be more useful to you.

    • karenpadi

      I’m assuming they are also doing the internship to establish contacts in the field and to get letters of recommendation. I’d be brutally honest with them just like regular employees.

      Subpar work product: “here’s a grammar book. I’ve marked the section that talks about comma usage. Read it and let me know if you have any questions because I expect someone at your level to use commas correctly”; “This is a legal document, use IRAC” (and mark sections of their briefs with Is, Rs, As, and Cs); “Based on your coursework and transcript, I expected a better analysis of issues x, y, and z in your brief.”

      Follow-up/Follow-through: bug them if they miss a self-imposed deadline–“I said I wanted it by today.” Let a deadline come and hit them with it at 9am. Let them sweat a bit. Force them to take an extension.

      Taking direction: “where’s the email I sent you about this?” or “bring the notes we took when we last spoke about this”. And go over in painstaking detail about how the work product does not match the directions.

      • Help for a supervising attorney

        Karenpadi-Yes they are getting contacts and the possibility of a letter of rec. I guess the part I’m struggling with is the deadline. They are only here a couple of days a week so if they can’t get a hold of the proper people they need to write a memo or something during that timeframe then they have to wait until the next week to try again. Or is it typical for them to put in extra hours outside of their “normal” hours to meet deadlines?

        • mascot

          If it is for class credit, then their grade/recommendation is their pay so to speak. You still have to prep to get ready for class, not merely attend. I did externships in law school and I am pretty sure I had to do work outside the time that I was actually on-site.

        • karenpadi

          If they are meeting up with the right people in time, there are two solutions:

          1) Provide additional coaching on setting up a timeline. “I need this done by the 15th. To do this, you’ll need to talk to Ms. Abcxyz about 2 weeks beforehand. You are only here Mondays and Fridays, so I’d set up a meeting with her today for next Monday.”

          2) Yes, they can spend an hour or so outside of their “normal hours” to meet with someone. “I know you are in class on Tuesdays, but do you have an hour to call Ms. Abcxyz on Tuesday afternoon?” Ideally, they should come in (it’s actually better for them–I’ve never worked with a clerk where it was better for me if they were there) but sometimes that’s just not possible.

        • lucy stone

          Plus if they can’t contact the people and don’t have the time, they could let someone know by saying “Hey Amy, I did the research on this issue but can’t complete it until I hear back from Tom. I won’t be in until Wednesday but I asked him to call us back and speak with you about this.”

  22. Trista

    Threadjack: I lurk on here a lot, and think you ladies are fabulous. I admire the style represented by you all and try to make it work in my life. I need help thnking about and/or shopping for a professional looking coat. I live on the East Coast and work as a government contractor in a job that keeps me driving around all day, entering and leaving buildings, and sometimes knocking on residential doors. This is my frst fall/winter in this job, so I’m not sure hw to work the coat situation. Typically I wear a suit or separates, but I hate wearing a blazer under a coat. So far this week I’ve been wearing a knee length black collared jacket from Anne Klein with button downs and sweaters underneath, using the jacket as a blazer basically. But this will not cut it when it gets colder. Any ideas on how to maintain professionalism while keeping warm outside? I know we’ve talked about commuting wear, etc, but my whole day is a commute!

    Please and Thank you for your help!

    • karenpadi

      Have you checked Lands End? They have a number of great winter coats and are sized a bit bigger. Anne Taylor, BR, and the usual suspects won’t have anything that would work for you (unless you go a size or two up).

      I’d probably go to a department store with a decent size coat section and start trying on trenches. Men’s coats are usually made for wearing with blazers–if it fits your style and body type, may be look in the men’s department?

    • lucy stone

      I owned two Lands’ End coats that used to button over blazers until I ate too much food. They tend to be cut to actually wear over blazers or thick sweaters.

    • Trista

      Thanks for th suggestions, ladies! I definitely will check out men’s trenches. I tend to be broad in the shoulder so an extra blazer beneath can make me feel cramped. Men’s do tend to be wider there though, so it’s a thought. Lands End has some promising options as well.

  23. In the Pink - Shoes?

    How about a post along the makeup lines but about shoes?

    I am hard on shoes, so most of my daily wears are moderately priced brands (Tahari, Joan & David, Pour La Victoire) from DSW brick and mortar store. It’s my evening/going out shoes which I wear less often which take up the $$$ in the budget.

    How about everyone else?

    • NOLA

      It’s funny because I would see it as the opposite. I wouldn’t spend money on going out shoes because I wouldn’t get as much wear for the money. When I look at cost per use, it doesn’t add up. I also buy moderately priced brands (up to $150 or so?) but don’t buy much at DSW because I have usually bought them the year before. I just have a lot of shoes so I have a lot of choices for work shoes and don’t beat any of them up as quickly. My sister-in-law once told me that she wouldn’t buy a pair of brown pumps because she already had a pair. I have to have more than one because I wear my work shoes so much (heels) that I can’t always wear the same ones. I’d be more likely to splurge on LK Bennett pumps (totally drooling over the Dawn mary janes) or something to wear to work.

    • des-pairing

      I have a love-hate relationship with Nordstrom / Nordstrom rack: Love their shoes selection, hate how much $ I spend with them.

      Budget-allocation wise: I’m with Nola here. Most of my shoes budget goes to work shoes/ casual comfy ones (flats, boots) because the return on these investments are much higher than on going out shoes. Also because I can’t really deal with heels.

  24. SoCalAtty

    “Becoming a professor” threadjack! TWO legal writing professor jobs just popped up at the law school I attended. I LOVED law school, and particularly the two courses I would be teaching – writing and ethics. I meet the qualifications, and I also have a single subject teaching credential in English/US Government/Civics.

    Even better, my two (they only want 2) references are 1) a legal writing professor in that department that I took both courses with and have kept in touch with over the years, and 2) a classmate of mine that I have actually worked with and who guest lectures there several times per year.

    For now, they are only asking for a cover letter, resume, and references.

    A ding against me – I am .01% out of the top 50% of my class. My grades in these particular courses, the writing and ethics, were top 10%, but the rest just weren’t. I was one that either had a great grade or a barely passing one, which averaged out to a B but just under that top half cut off. I do now have 6 years of litigation experience, and high school teaching experience, so I’m hoping I at least have a shot…especially with two openings.

    I love teaching, and I love teaching writing and ethics (I was also a philosophy major). I’m trying to get my cover letter to convey that without seeming overenthusiastic. We’ll see how it goes! I really can’t say that I’ve ever wanted any position more in my life.

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