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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 177 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Avenue Tote

Coffee Break |

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Sometimes you just want a lightweight but durable tote, and this Baggallini tote is a good option. It's nothing overly fancy, but it's made from nylon and super lightweight, plus it has a zip closure on the front, which is an immediate improvement over half the tote bags out there. It has inside pockets as well, and you can carry it either by its shoulder strap or with the detachable crossbody strap for when you're traveling or just lugging a lot of other stuff. I think it just looks like a nice bag, and it comes in red, black, and two beige-y colors at Zappos and in a ton of colors at Amazon for $68. Baggallini Avenue Tote This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Comments

  1. Coach Laura

    I have a previous version of this bag. Used it as a daily commuting bag for years and it’s still going strong. Has a trolley strap on back so i used it as my carry on bag too.

  2. January

    My office is subject to the greenhouse effect in the afternoon and I am roasting. Also usually half-asleep because it’s so hot. What can I do?

    • Anon

      I drink ice water at my desk to combat the greenhouse effect. If I’m really sleepy, I go for a walk around my floor, or out to the smoking area to chat and get some fresh air.

  3. HSAL

    I have a Baggalini crossbody that I use as my “mom bag” on the weekends to just carry a few things, and I love it. I’ve considered getting more styles but I’ve been really happy with the quality. Looks, eh, but they’re so convenient and useful.

    Also, thanks to whoever recommended Cork Dork. I’m loving it but need to race the clock before the library takes it back (I know I can just turn it to airplane mode but I try to avoid that).

    • Cat

      Why do you try to avoid airplane mode? It doesn’t take away from the next person’s turn.

      • HSAL

        I know, it’s more of a challenge to myself to finish the books in the 3 weeks I have them. Usually my problem is I download too many at once and try to read all of them, so I’m trying to force myself to get fewer books and finish within the 21 days.

    • MJ

      Wow–two shoutouts in one day–the Eddie Bauer Sun Valley Down Parka _and_ Cork Dork! I feel the tiniest bit cool, even though I am completely not! :)

  4. BigLaw longevity

    I know that there are lot of BigLaw ladies here. How many of you are senior? I’m in my 40s and I’m just so tired. No anemia. Relatively not-sleep-deprived. I just don’t know how much longer I can do this. How do you cope? Have any of you been able to pare back b/c of your seniority? Or does it just stay like this forever?

    FWIW, I’m FT. 2 kids.

    My old firm used to transition partners into “senior status” starting in their 50s. The EEOC took issue with this but for my stamina, I can see why this makes sense (for me at least).

    I’d love to fade away (knocking down to 80%), but am not sure what the exit plan looks like (or the sustainability plan).

    Thoughts? Experience?

    All of the law ladies I know who have worked until their 60s were in-house or in government (judges / hearing officers / government practices like EEOC / IRS / state licensing board attorneys / etc.).

    • Anonymous

      Are you a partner? Why not go down to 80% and see if it helps? I’m not sure that requires an exit plan. If you feel like you’re still working 100% hours for 80% pay you can always go back to full-time.

      • Anonymous

        Also – depending on how your firm does comp, it may not have to be as formal as that. Can you just…bill fewer hours? Say no to / push off to associates and more junior partners more things? Even if you take a comp hit at the end of the year, it sounds like you’d be okay with it.

        It’s a grind, no question. I don’t know how anyone does a job as intellectually challenging as this at full steam in the very long-term.

    • Anonymous

      I am an income partner at an AmLaw 100 and am recently back from maternity leave with my third child. I am in the my late 30s. I do not remember the sleep deprivation that I feel now with the other two.
      However, I think the thing that is wearing on me most is the politics and the rat race of the practice of Big Law. The double standards for women are exhausting.

      I love the law, and I love helping clients. The other stuff is just wearing me down, and when you combine that with my current sleep deprivation, I feel like this is not sustainable in the current moment. If I could actually get a full night of sleep, I might feel different, though.

    • Anonymous

      I am a second year equity partner at BigLaw. My mentors tell me — time and time again — that the only way to survive is to delegate more.

    • Anonymous

      Do you take real vacations? The kind where you hand things off completely and maybe check emails once a day? If not I’d start there and see if it helps.

  5. Kate

    Looking for advice – new commenter, but long time reader and hoping for some help! Associate at a medium size law firm in the Midwest, relatively recent hire (9-12 months) at this firm after transitioning out of a government position (different practice area). Partners are generally very complimentary but I have made 4 mistakes in the last couple months on one partner’s projects. Worried she will stop giving me work or it’ll spread to other partners. Wondering if I should talk to her and emphasize that I want to improve; have my secretary proof everything (i.e., page numbers) and also get some CLEs or training on the uniform act(s). Am I overreacting? Should I not bring it up and just implement these steps anyway?

    • Kate

      FWIW – here’s the mistakes – about a week ago, she asked me to find out how to do something per a model act and I erroneously relayed there was not a specific procedure because I failed to look in the definitions section of the act. Other than that, smaller/non-legal mistakes – I used a font she didn’t like, forgot to add page numbers on a document, and didn’t proof a hard copy memo and didn’t catch the printer cut off a line on the 3rd page. She has noticed all these and addressed them with me in a kind manner 1:1. Only making these mistakes on her projects (worked on several others in the last couple months and they were fine) – or she’s the only one who raises them.

      • Anon

        Unless she has specifically told you what fonts to use/not use or your firm has preferences, I wouldn’t consider choosing a font she didn’t like as a mistake. It sounds like you were not aware of one of her preferences and as long as you follow this preference going forward NBD. As for the page numbers and proofing a hard copy, can you make yourself a checklist of things to check on documents prior to distributing them and include these items. Maybe there is also a checklist for interval vs. external review.

      • Rainbow Hair

        Yeah except the substantive one… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the font, page number, and printer error are like the definition of “no harm no foul.” I wouldn’t make it bigger than it is.

    • Anonymous

      I think you’re overreacting. I would implement these steps without a big discussion.

    • Anonymous

      Page numbers can be done automatically, not sure what you are proofing there.

      • Anonymous

        just saw your clarification above, and agree with other comments, these shouldn’t be a huge deal. It’s important that you work on not repeating them, and that’s fine.

  6. PHX

    This is my Holy Grail work tote. The insides are lined in bright colors so you can find things. I would love another color, but my gray one just keeps going, and going, and going….

  7. Headspace App

    Piggybacking on the meditation discussion earlier today, I didn’t realize the Headspace App had a subscription. Is the subscription just additional content or it is required to use the app after the first 30 days?

    • Anon

      IIRC, the first 10 days were free and after that it was a subscription. My monthly cost is about $15, which is $10 less than a co-pay to my shrink, which is how I justify it. Knowing that I’m paying for it also makes me want to use it more often.

      That said, I’ve also liked using Insight Timer – it’s less guided, but there’s TONS of good, free meditations on there.

    • Anon

      I think you only get access to the first 10 days meditations without subscribing. So you could keep doing those ones over and over.

      • Anonymous

        Correct. I did the first 10 days more than once before I finally bit the bullet and bought the subscription (which I’ve found to be worth the $$$ for access to all of the different meditations).

    • Candidate

      There’s a coupon for a full year valid until the end of the month. Google Headspace + coupon and it should be easy to find.

  8. Anon

    I’m in a rut with cooking dinner. What are your favorite online recipes? I don’t mind fancy. I like cooking.

    • January

      I would suggest Blue Apron or something like it if you enjoy cooking. Their stuff is fancier than I would usually do and tends to involve some unique ingredients.

      • C

        You can also sign up for an email with their recipes without actually ordering the Blue Apron service if you’d rather incorporate the ingredients into your regular grocery shopping/meal planning.

      • Senior Attorney

        +1

        And we’ve been using SunBasket this month and they are really crushing it these days.

        • Parfait

          + another 1. SunBasket was “too fancy for us,” per the Rocket Scientist, so you might give that one a go.

    • Anonymous

      I like ones like this:

      Cook a chicken
      Day 1 — fresh cooked chicken
      Day 2 — some sort of other dish with chicken (pasta? Indian?)
      Day 3 — some other sort of dish with chicken (tacos?)
      Day 4 — some sort of soup / stew with chicken (OMG love, love Brunswick stew)

      It helps me not waste and also expands what I do so it’s not OMG chicken again?! as a reaction.

      It sounds simple but really isn’t and gives you a head start that you can use to try harder techniques (fresh cheese biscuits to make chicken sandwiches with)

      • Anon

        That sounds awesome in theory but my husband and teen son will eat an entire roasted chicken (almost) between the two of them. Maybe I should roast two? :)

        • Anonymous

          Yes — or I sometimes just throw in bone-in chicken bre@sts that still have the skin on just for the extra mean. If they’ll eat wings and drumsticks, maybe another whole bird.

          More meat / less hassle = more time for experimenting and side dishes

          • Anonymous

            But she likes to cook! And when you cook at home, you can make gravy :)

          • Anon

            I make both gravy and stock! I love to throw the carcass of a roast chicken into my slow cooker – but i would only do that with an organic chicken i roasted myself. I don’t like the stuff they inject into grocery store rotisserie chickens.

    • Shopaholic

      Not online but what if you got a recipe book and just forced yourself to cook out of it? I am planning on doing this with Chrissy Tiegen’s cookbook. It helps mix things up!

      • Anon

        Thanks. I have been looking through old cookbooks and getting ideas but I was hoping to find more things online and not in books because I am out of bookshelves! (Seriously just took 5 full moving boxes of books to the library friends bookstore over the holidays)

    • Green Hat

      If you like fancy check out halfbakedharvest.com. Really creative and tasty recipes – I end up doing more “simplified” versions of a lot of them (leaving out the extra garnishes, oil infusions, etc) but go all out if you are up for a challenge!

    • cat socks

      For inspiration, these are my favorite food blogs where I’ve consistently found good recipes:

      Mel’s Kitchen Cafe
      Budget Bytes
      Skinnytaste
      Pinch of Yum
      Once Upon a Chef

      Sally’s Baking Addiction and Brown Eyed Bake for baking/desserts.

    • Spaghetti Squash

      After years of not wanting spaghetti, I am almost obsessed with spaghetti meat sauce (Italian sausage plus ground beef or turkey mixed with jarred spaghetti sauce) served over spaghetti squash. We tend to roast a chicken on Sunday night which feeds us two nights with mashed potatoes and a salad. For a quick supper, I like salmon cooked with canned, drained garbanzo and black beans tossed in olive oil, soy sauce, brown sugar (best if you sear the salmon in a skillet before adding beans, sauce and placing pan in oven). My teenager is a distance runner so we usually have brown rice prepared which is nice tossed with roasted chopped pecans and a little viniagrette. I’m not above making up tuna salad and serving with cheese, crackers, fruit, etc. Most of my recipes come from things I have printed from online.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      I got the Southern Living Best of 2017 cookbook for Christmas, and every single recipe I’ve made is good. They’re all online. Southern Living is a new recipe source for me. I guess I thought all the recipes would be heavy/fried, but they’re absolutely not. The one pan chicken with lemon and artichokes is probably my favorite so far. There’s another great one with shrimp and couscous that I packed for lunches one week.

      Have also heard great things about Chrissy Teigen but not sure her stuff is online.

    • Anonymous

      Not a website rec, I concede, but I’ve had a lot of fun picking a cuisine and declaring Mexican month or Thai week or whatever. You save money by keeping your ingredients and spices in the same family, but you still get to dive deep into cuisines and cultures.

    • Anon

      Not a website rec, I concede, but I’ve had a lot of fun picking a cuisine and declaring Mexican month or Thai week or whatever. You save money by keeping your ingredients and spices in the same family, but you still get to dive deep into cuisines and cultures.

    • Anonymous

      I am all about Smitten Kitchen! She has a lot of one-dish meals, which can easily be turned into a full meal for more people with a side salad. My favorites are the pasta/vegetable/ricotta dish, the broccoli/farro/pecorino dish, the cauliflower/farro/capers dish, and several of the soups. She also has some AMAZING dessert recipes. With Valentines Day coming up, consider the caramel brownies, but my go-tos are the cannoli pound cake, the chocolate banana bread, and the coconut tapioca pudding.

      • Anon

        Yes, all of her recipes look great and I don’t recall one ever not turning out. The posts are fun to read, there are plenty of pictures and she includes lot of good tips like substitutions and whether things can be prepped/cooked ahead of time. She also a one/more cookbooks.

        • Anon

          Thanks! I have her first cookbook. I sort of got distracted with her desserts and don’t think of it for dinner recipes, but i should. I did make her brisket one weekend and it was yummy.

    • Anon

      Do you have a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) in your area? The way it usually works is that you sign up for a membership with a local farm where you pick up a variety of vegetables every week or every other week. Depending on where you live they could run year-round or just during the summer/autumn months. It was so much fun to get vegetables each week that I don’t normally eat (e.g. beets, shishito peppers, garlic scapes) and then plan meals around them. Definitely got me out of my cooking rut. This will be my third year!

    • Anonymous

      Look up Fesenjan. It’s an amazing, comforting Iranian recipe. The pomegranate molasses is a little time consuming if you make it yourself.

    • Anonymous

      Also Lucky Peach has a good recipe for Rotisserie Chicken ramen. You use the bones to make chicken broth, with a little ginger in there too, and add some soy sauce, and cool the broth with the bones in it (they call that steeping the broth, like tea). Then use that broth to cook the ramen, and top with the chicken (shredded), hard boiled eggs, scallions, whatever else you have…

    • Anonymous

      I just made a cognac and mustard beef stew from Smitten Kitchen. Amazing. Maybe too time consuming for a weeknight but easy to double so you have a ton of leftovers.

      I also recently discovered parmesan broth. I’d used parmesan rinds in my stocks before but it had never occurred to me to make a broth from the rinds themselves. It’s really tasty and rich; makes a nice base for kale and white bean or even something like chicken noodle. Again, making the broth is more of a weekend endeavor.

    • Anonymous

      Many things from Woks of Life (http://thewoksoflife.com/)

      My other current favorite is “Pork Larb over Jade Rice” from HelloFresh, although I just use regular white rice because jade rice is pretty hard to find

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I’ve had a lot of luck with recipes from SkinnyTaste lately. They do tend to be low in calories (hence the name), but if I think I need more calories to keep from being hungry, I usually add some form of carbs and I’m good. The sweet potato and turkey chili is my current favorite.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        (Oh, except I double the tomatoes in the recipe, because I work on the theory you can never have too many tomatoes in a stew/chili)

    • Anon

      Thanks everyone! I’ve checked out every blog and recipe posted and added them to my favorites! I’m hungry now!!

    • SC

      Late on this, but I’m all about Serious Eats. There’s a recipe there for a salmon bowl with avocado and cucumber, and it’s easy and delicious. We eat that probably 2-3 times per month.

  9. Anon

    I posted this in the morning thread, but realized too late that most of the suggestions given wouldn’t work because of the care instructions. Posting one more time just to see if there are any other ideas.

    I recently bought some very cute, but terribly scratchy, uncomfortable bedsheets. Any tricks for how to soften them up? The recommendations were to wash them on hot and dry them on high heat with dryer sheets and those studded dryer balls. But the care instructions say to machine wash cold, line dry. Am I out of luck, or are there any other tricks I could try?

    • Anonymous

      I mean, if they’re that uncomfortable you’re probably not going to continue using them, right? I would try disregarding the care instructions before throwing them out. Most things that say “line dry” can be dried in the dryer, especially on low heat. It may just shorten their lifespan but if you don’t love the sheets anyway is it that big a deal?

      • Anonymous

        +1 – the care instructions tend to be conservative. I might wash on warm (instead of hot), but I’d still tumble dry low. Besides line dry is impractical for sheets in the winter and I would imagine you’d end up having to machine dry eventually anyway.

      • Anonymous

        Too much heat can shrink 100% cotton sheets so that’s probably why the instructions are so conservative. My cotton sheets do fine with a warm wash and dry and I haven’t noticed any bothersome shrinking.

    • Anonymous

      Still do the baking soda.

      Dry on your lowest setting. But then do 10 minutes on hot — will soften them up.

    • Anonymous

      I have no advice, but instructing me to line dry sheets is almost as ridiculous as instructing me to iron them. Am I supposed to hand wash them too? I can’t even.

  10. Low drive

    I have had a pretty low s*x drive for the past five years or so, but recently my husband has started to seem really bothered by it. We have two children – 4.5 years and 2.5 years. After two rounds of pregnancy, birth and BFing, my drive just hasn’t returned. I am 35, no serious medical issues, not on any kind of hormonal BC. Husband told me this morning he feels rejected and he is obviously cranky from the lack of fun times. Short of pretending, what can I do? I don’t really think this is a medical problem – I feel like it’s either a mental/emotional problem or that I just naturally have a low drive. I feel very blah about my appearance and weight right now, which is not helping. If someone has been through a similar situation and has any advice, I’d love to hear it.

    • Anonymous

      I think you try. 1- talk to your doctor 2- consider therapy for the mental/emotional side 3- consider marriage counseling.

      If you love your husband and want to stay married, treat this as a serious issue it’s worth seriously trying to resolve.

    • Anonymous

      Book recommendation – Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. Frames desire in terms of a dual control (what puts you in the mood vs what takes you out), instead of drive. I think it also has some advice, things to try, in order to put yourself in the mood – assuming you do want to get there. May be a read for your husband as well, to help him understand the feelings going on in your brain as well.

      I think it’s totally possible that the stress of day to day life and dealing with kids, and, and, and… are putting a damper on things.

    • anon8

      You may want to consider therapy to deal with the mental/emotional issues. Perhaps it could be low-level depression. But I don’t know how meds for depression affect drive.

      I’m a believer in love languages. This sounds silly, but is your husband speaking your language? Perhaps if he performed actions that made you feel loved, that would increase your attraction to him. Conversely, it seems like physical intimacy is important to him so there may be times where you need to make an effort to go through with if even if you’re not feeling it.

      I’ve been married almost 20 years and have a low drive. Honestly, I just fake my way through it otherwise we would never have s*x. I don’t have kids either, but I’m sure that complicates things.

    • Anonymous

      IDK, but it is remarkably stirring if my husband jumps in and put away laundry.

      FWIW, when you are too busy and tired, this is just another task. So: I try prioritize this task. It used to be a Fun Thing and it helps reset my way of thinking about it (fun thing vs just another demand on my time).

    • Anonymous

      I’m in a similar boat (one 3 yo child). I didn’t have a huge drive to begin with, but it basically disappeared in pregnancy and hasn’t come back since. Everyone told me it would come back when I weaned my child, but it didn’t. Our solution is a standing once-per-week “date” which is more than I would like and less than he would like. It’s not a great solution but it’s what we’re doing now. I hope that things will improve naturally over the next year or so as our child gets older and we use babysitters more and hopefully can go away for a real vacation as a couple. If we’re still in this spot in a year we’ll take more drastic measures although I’m not sure what those will be.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Maybe a bit TMI, but here goes. When I am tired and stressed and the hot times are a bit slow, I find that the more time I spend pleasuring myself, the more I want to spend time doing it with another person…

    • Anonymous

      Exercise really helps me, both in feeling better about myself and in increasing drive.

      • Anon

        That would be my suggestion as well; the OP may feel better about her body when she gets a hit of endorphins and gets stronger.

    • Anon

      Two things help me. 1 – yoga. Wearing form fitting clothes and doing something of the athletic variety makes me feel better about myself. Even if I feel gross and ugly putting the clothes on, at the end of a session, when I see what my body did for me, I feel $exy. I go to yoga on the cheap at a local gym on Saturday mornings and it even includes childcare.

      2 – Wine. A healthy sized glass of wine and I’m suddenly much more open to suggestion. Maybe a saturday ritual of yoga in the AM, wine in the PM followed by a gardening session?

    • Anonymous

      Try reading some erotica or even just steamy romance novels. I’ve found it helps put me in a gardening frame of mind, gets me started thinking about gardening, etc.

  11. FP

    Cross posted from the moms s!te – Any suggestions for a pre-baby long weekend in Scottsdale/Phoenix? Mostly looking to lounge by the pool and have good food, and I’m open to hiking or other low-impact pregnancy-friendly activities.

    • Anonymous

      We stayed at the Omni Resort in Scottsdale last year and it is beautiful! The service and food were also amazing (and I mean really, really, good, attentive service). It’s close to the popular Camelback mountain hiking area and we very much enjoyed our weekend there.

    • Horse Crazy

      Omni Resort in Scottsdale is gorgeous. If you want incredible Mexican food, check out Barrio Cafe. It’s in a weird part of town, but 10000000% worth it.

      • Horse Crazy

        Sorry, that wasn’t clear – Barrio Cafe is in Phoenix, not Scottsdale.

  12. baked ziti dinner party help

    I’m hosting a dinner for six people this weekend, and I’m thinking about making baked ziti. Thoughts on apps and sides to serve with it? This is a low-key crowd so it doesn’t have to be too fancy, but I’m trying to take it a step beyond a giant salad, bread and a cheese and charcuterie board… unless that actually is the best option, in which case I’ll go for it. Ideas?

    • FP

      Maybe instead of a cheese and charcuterie board – a roasted veggie platter? I think Ina Garten does a really nice one – search Blanched Crudites for her recipe.

      • Carine

        +1 to Ina’s blanched crudités and herb dip. It’s my alternative to a cheese board when I have a cheese-heavy entree. People go nuts over the dip – and it’s super easy and can be made ahead.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      Pioneer Woman recently posted a cheese board that had everything but the kitchen sink on it – might be good for some inspiration. It looked so, so good.

    • Anonymous

      I just did this! I had 15 people; a mix of vegetarians, vegans, and meat eaters. I did a meatless baked ziti as the main; I cooked a bit more ziti than the recipe called for and just tossed it with a jar of sauce for the vegans. For the meat eaters, I plopped a bag of mini frozen meatballs from Trader Joes in a crock pot for about 2 hours with half a jar of marinara sauce. For the veggie side, I made braised artichokes, parm on the side so the vegans could eat it. I also had various nibbles – crackers, cheese, nuts, and olives.

    • CHS

      I’d do a raw kale salad with parm, lemon, and toasted walnuts. The citrus could help cut the heaviness of the pasta, and it’s very easy to throw together.

  13. kk

    My job requires 4+ flights per week, usually domestic travel. My coworker who has been doing this job for 20+ years swears by Baggalini bags- she picks hers up at the baggalini store in the Minneapolis airport. the bags are light, brightly lined, professional, and the trolley strap is key.

    I’m still alternating between an OMG (narrow opening, looks like a diaper bag), a dagne dover legends tote ( too heavy, no trolley strap, handles are too inflexible) and a work issued patagonia backpack (perfect for silicon valley and casual travel, less so when I’m wearing a dress and heels)

    • Rainbow Hair

      I just got a backpack to fill in when the baggalini is too annoying to schlep. I have a few seconds of “oh god I look like a CHILD” and then feel great because the weight is evenly distributed across my back… I think there’s a certain level of formality where the backpack won’t do (things where The Other Guys’ Lawyers are there) but generally I don’t think I care enough to be uncomfortable.

      So yeah, between the Baggalini and the backpack (and a tiny phone-and-wallet purse), I feel completely set. (Also possibly relevant is that I have zero interest in conveying class/status/wealth through my bag choice — if that was important to me, I don’t think this set up would work.)

    • Anonymous

      FYi – there’s a Baggalini store at the Mall of America (across the interstate from the airport), for those in the area. Since all the shopping at the airport is behind security.

      • kk

        I’m in tech- positions like mine are called solutions consultants, sales engineers, and presales consultants. I support the sales team when conversations get too functional/technical. My background is in the industry we’re selling to- I create demo scripts, configure the product for customer demos, and provide demos, rfp responses, and other deal support to the account execs.

        If I’m at an internal meeting, or schlepping through the airport, backacks are just fine. I wear sheath dresses (etsukos and alexandras from mm lafleur) and heels for 99% of my client meetings, and that’s when I feel like a shoulder bag like the OMG or Dagne Dover is a better fit. Once or twice I have folded a Longchamps tote into my backpack, so that I could just bring that to meetings and leave my backpack in the hotel room- depends on the week. I use all of the above bags with an Away bigger carryon, which in sum makes me so, so easily identifiable in airports – I’m a walking millenial consultant stereotype, Warby Parker glasses and all.

    • nerfmobile

      I work in tech – we all do backpacks. Wearing it over two shoulders is tricky when you want to be really formal, but one-shouldered works for almost every circumstance. I’m currently carrying a Thule one that was team swag that I like very much.

  14. Good idea or bad idea?

    I usually max out my Roth IRA, divided up so that I contribute evenly every 2 weeks. I’m invested in an S&P 500 mutual fund. My SO is offering to give me the money so I can invest the full $5,500 now, instead of in 2 week increments, and then pay him back in 2 week increments over the course of the year. Is that a good idea? I’ve read on this s*te before that spaced investing typically yields higher returns than a lump some, but I have no real knowledge on this stuff!

    • Anonymous

      No that’s a terrible idea. Don’t turn your boyfriend or girlfriend into a money lender.

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s a terrible idea to borrow money from your non-spouse significant other. If it’s a spouse, it’s a different story, but then it’s not really “borrowing.”

    • Anonymous

      I think that an extra few hundred dollars in interest is not enough for it to be worth mixing formal moneylending into your romantic relationship.

    • Finance person

      No. Google “dollar cost averaging”. The market is at record highs right now and while it may continue to pursue that trajectory (I can’t even remember how many record highs we’ve hit in the past year) it would be a shame to invest everything now, only to watch it fall a month from now. That is the concept behind dollar cost averaging – that you’re insulated from any one anomaly in pricing when you buy in.

      • Anonymous

        +1 – investing the money in regular increments over time is actually the most recommended strategy.

        • Anonymous

          +1 – my only change to the advice is if you were contributing for the previous year (2017) and needed to get the contributions made before April 15.

          But if these are 2018 contributions, dollar-cost averaging all the way.

  15. hotel gift

    My husband is traveling domestically for work next week, which he rarely does. It’s for a day of meetings that has real potential to be a big exciting thing for him. I’d love to have something little delivered to his hotel to say good luck and we love you. Any ideas?

    • FP

      Maybe after his meetings are over – see if you can have room service dessert delivered?

    • Rainbow Hair

      Much much smaller, but I’ve tucked a note into the pocket of a suit that a bf was taking on a trip. It went over very well.

    • Anon

      I’ve done surprise treats in my DH’s luggage when he’s traveled, and one time when I was traveling, DH called the hotel and had them deliver an Edible Arrangements to my room – it was a great surprise (and snack!). Most higher end hotels will be able to help you with this – call the hotel he’s staying at. If it’s not higher end, they still might be willing to help with a delivery of some sort.

  16. AlexisFaye

    I do not carry a purse, but I’ve been looking at buying one as a work bag. I’m usually really thrifty so this would be a huge splurge for me (so looking secondhand) but how does anybody feel about the celine mini luggage tote? As an example: https://poshmark.com/listing/Authentic-Celine-Drummed-Leather-Mini-Luggage-Tote-55f5f9fa41b4e085290140f5?utm_source=gdm&l_con=PREOWNED%2FUSED&gdm_bottom=false&campaign_id=731570126&utm_campaign=731570126&enable_guest_buy_flow=true&gclid=CjwKCAiA15vTBRAHEiwA7Snfc7bZWvEIoOVlOxRBtTTfPIDgimNG5yenpHCFNb6QDGypZo7HMkOmNxoCqscQAvD_BwE

    • Anonymous

      Silly waste of money. Heavy. Bulky. bad straps. Not a good size. You don’t even like purses.

      • AlexisFaye

        Thanks.

        Most durable leather items are heavy and most briefcases are bulky. straps is valid. Large enough to hold laptop and files, so size seems appropriate. Feelings about purses immaterial since I’m looking for an attractive carryall that can be used for work.

        Anyone who owns/has seen one/knows how they wear have any opinions?

        • Anonymous

          Oh please. You literally asked for opinions you don’t get to be snitty when you get them. She raised good points!

          • AlexisFaye

            Exactly. She raised good points.

            Hence I thanked her and responded with my thoughts (“straps is valid” and here’s what I’m thinking “so size seems appropriate” etc.), and clarified what I was looking for. We don’t call this snitty. We call this communication.

            But I appreciate your coloring of my discourse.

    • Anon

      Do you have a car commute? It looks like the handles would not be long enough to wear on your shoulder which you probably want to do if you walk a decent distance as part of your commute. Do you have a work bag now? Do you carry a laptop right now?

      • AlexisFaye

        I am a car commuter. This would be mostly a go to court/depositions/look like a fancy pants lawyer item. For instance, anticipating 3 weeks living/working out of town for trial and this would be the bag for daily use. Right now I use a $35 Ross special for hauling laptop to/from work when I need it.

        • AnotherAnon

          Check out Chase Amie on Youtube – she reviews bags and especially fancy work totes

        • Anon

          It looks like it has a lot of room and I like the structure so the only concern would be the handles and whether you would need to carry it with other stuff or carry it for a long distance since I think you’ll have to carry it by hand or on your arm vs. shoulder.

        • anon

          I would not recommend this bag for daily work and especially not for court/depositions/trial. First, the straps look too small to put over your shoulder. You will have lots of things to carry–boxes of exhibits, the printer your partner can’t install by himself, folders, binders, etc-you need a shoulder bag, not one you must devote a hand to. Same for depos. I didn’t catch the dimensions on the webpage if they were there, but it just looks sort of smallish. 12X12 per the actual webpage? Way too small to carry anything other than your wallet, phone, keys, etc. To be really utilitarian, you’ll want something big enough to stick at least one redweld in. (Or folders, laptop…) You won’t look fancy pants lawyer, you’ll look like you prioritized a pretty bag you have to babysit over something useful. Even if you’re thinking you’ll just hold your materials in your hands, don’t under estimate the value of being able to easily and seamlessly stick materials into a bag without a second thought or trying to force it in. Stuff gets heavy and cumbersome fast.

          My jenky old Micheal kors bag I got for $75 at a ross in 2011 is big enough that I can stick a 17 inch redweld in. Amazing. I keep wanting to replace it but I keep coming back…

    • Shopaholic

      I bought one after lusting after it for ages and consigned it – it was honestly just too heavy to be practical (and I almost never complain about heavy leather bags).

    • Rainbow Hair

      I really encourage you to think about how you’ll feel about a heavy bag, especially if you can’t wear it on your shoulder, and it’s full of files and a computer. This is colored by my hatred of heavy bags, but at that level of investment I wouldn’t want you to regret it.

    • M

      In general, Cuyana has lovely leather purses of various styles and you’re not paying for the name

    • Alanna of Trebond

      The Celine Luggage Tote was an it bag a few years ago and now looks really out of date.

      • Anonymous

        I agree with this – it’s the biggest handbag trend of the last decade (at least?) and already looks very dated to me. I don’t have this kind of cash to spend on a bag but if I did I’d get something that isn’t instantly recognizable as being from a particular era.

    • fake

      This is one of the most-duped bags in the replica handbag universe. I would be very wary that this particular bag is a high-quality replica, given the lack of photographs in the listing that could be used to authenticate. Be careful.

  17. Kitchen Reno?

    Might ask tomorrow AM to get more replies… but, we bought our house in a HCOL inner suburb of a northeast city in 2015. 3 BR/2BA, $420k – kind of an ugly ranch, but a classic first-time buyer house in our market. It’s not our forever home, but it’s a “this is a bargain, schools are good, stay as long as we can” home. I think we got a killer deal on it, but I digress…

    We’re contemplating a cosmetic kitchen reno which might include relocating the fridge, but no major appliance/plumbing relocating. I think it’s a $10k investment, because we’d also be upgrading appliances.
    But, the major work is largely floors, countertops, backsplash, adding an island or breakfast bar – basically making it read like 2018 and not 1988. It’s not a large kitchen.

    In the last 3 months, three tear-downs in my neighborhood have sold for $300-340k. Logic says we have some meaningful equity by way of both getting a killer deal on our purchase price and because these recent trades in the immediate neighborhood indicate the market is continuing to climb. Does it make sense to consult a broker to get a real-time estimated value of our home to help put me at ease before we invest another $10k into the house? I don’t want to over improve it, which is my biggest hesitation to undertaking the project. I’m in finance and I have to think about it analytically/numerically, not just emotionally, although my emotions are screaming “this kitchen sucks. just wait till baby arrives and it’ll feel that much less inefficient.”

    Thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      Just do it. No, you don’t need a broker to tell you it’s a good idea.

      • Anonymous

        What if you are me?

        House bought for 600K, now per zillow worth 750/800. Top of market in my ‘hood is $1M; next ‘hood over starts at $1.5M.

        House is . . . oddly laid out. I could throw $200K on renovations on it. But most of the value is the land at this point.

        Who is more likely to give me an honest opinion on whether $200K is well-spent? Or spend $400K to tear down / rebuild? [Or whatever the real #s are estimated to be?] A realtor? A builder? I really like my location and am not wanting to spend >$1M. I am also OK doing nothing, but if I ever needed/wanted to sell doubt I’d get top $ without doing something.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not sure where you live that you can do even a cosmetic kitchen reno for $10k. Are you DIYing the entire thing? We live in a very LCOL area (small Midwestern city) and replacing our cabinets, countertops, backsplash and appliances was over $50,000. Granted, we chose higher-end finishes and we used an expensive (and trustworthy) contractor, but we didn’t do anything to the floors and we didn’t add an island. I wouldn’t trust anyone who gives you a $10k quote for this work….maaaaybe $30k but that still seems like a crazy good deal to me.

      • OP

        Not replacing all cabinets, just adding a few. Neighbor-contractor-friend does the labor for a major discount (he reno’d our entire basement already and the work quality was excellent). It might be closer to $15k after I decide I want the fancy granite and tile, but it’s not a $25k job, that’s for sure.

        • Anon

          We did a DIY kitchen reno. We painted all the cabinets (oak to white), swapped the drawer hinges to be soft close, painted but didnnot replace hardware, replaced the sink and faucet, replaced the Formica countertops with low-end granite, and replaced the vinyl floors with Lowe end tile. We added crown moudling to the top of the cabinets. We moved nothing. The only outsourced labor was the granite counter install, which was included in the price of the counter. No new appliances. The whole thing cost us $6k and a ton of sweat equity.

          I’d assume your 10k reno is going to cost $15k, and be surprised and happy when it doesn’t.

          • Anon

            Oh, we added a low end backsplash and under cabinet lights too. Again, all DIY so just materials cost.

        • Boston?

          Are you near Boston? I’d love to get this contractor’s info, been searching for one for agessss!

      • Anonymous

        thanks to the others for chiming in. I’m doing one in NYC and $10K won’t even cover appliances and materials…

    • Senior Attorney

      If you would enjoy a remodeled kitchen, then go ahead and do it. In the scheme of things it’s not a ton of money and kitchens definitely sell houses.

      • Scarlett

        +1 – agree that 10K is not much in the grand scheme of kitchen remodels & there’s so much that you’ll get out of living in a place that you like being in, especially when you have kids and will be spending more time at home

    • Anonymous

      I think it is fine to re-do it.

      I think it will be a lot more than 10k though, especially if you are buying new appliances. Or are you planning to do all of the work yourself?

    • Anon

      There is no downside – financially or emotionally – to updating a 30 year old kitchen. Be mindful of your neighborhood and don’t overspend (since it’s first time buyers, are Ikea kitchens more common?), but there’s no reason to worry about this upgrade.

    • IHHtown

      Plus, don’t forget to factor in the utility to you while you live there in the value of the reno, not just resale value. Living in an updated kitchen has intrinsic value for efficiency of use and ease of mind to look at a nicer renovated space.

  18. Late to the closet-challenge

    I started today and am wearing a blue button-up that has tiny white hearts (that look like dots unless you’re attentive) on it with a pair of black pants I wouldn’t normally pair with this.
    Looking forward to tomorrow’s challenge with the pop of color.

    1) Who’s starting late with me and what are you wearing?
    2) What exactly is everyone going to wear for the men-inspired outfit? I don’t think I have anything that will fit so might just be caught up with everyone else by Thursday

          • OP

            Whoops running a day behind in my head too.

            Tomorrow is the menswear challenge which I will have to skip out on because idk what that means and the post wasn’t helpful (No I am not going to wear a tie)

          • Alanna of Trebond

            I wore something dull today — a black MMLF dress (Akiko 3.0) with a bright silk scarf from Lake Como. I usually wear a lot of colors, so wearing just one pop of color made me sad.

  19. Anon

    I might just have to call @pple, but I’m hoping the H!ve can help me. I got a new iphone for Christmas. I backed up my old phone, then deleted its content and started using my new phone. Last week, I realized all my old photos are not on my new phone (I wouldn’t care except I’m missing all my newborn photos). Support says I have to delete all my phone data and start over with my icloud backup from my old phone. So do I lose some photos either way? There has to be a way to access my icloud backup without losing all the new photos I’ve taken.

    • Tz

      Can you download dropbox and add the new photos to that for now, restore your phone and then add the photos from dropbox/googledrive/whathaveyou from that?

      You may actually want to get a dropbox that automatically saves your pictures from your phone as a backup

      FWIW- not an iphone user

  20. Alexis

    I’m a few weeks from my due date with my first child. Thoughts on using this bag (or a similar Baggalini bag) as a diaper bag?

    • Julie

      The Avenue Tote would be great as a diaper bag. It has several organizational pockets – 2 on the front which could be used for bottles, a small center front pocket that could be used for a phone and/or keys. The back has a larger zippered pocket that could be used as a pocket or to slip over the pull bar of a rollar bag.

      On the inside, there’s a padded pocket for a laptop, but it could be used for diapers or other baby things and the main compartment also provides a lot of room for more baby and personal things. It also has 2 slip pockets for a phone, keys or small toys, etc, and a zipered pocket.

      You might also consider Baggallini’s diaper bag. I don’t think it looks like a diaper bag and it has lots of pockets that you might find useful.

      https://www.baggallini.com/totes/on-the-go-diaper-tote/BAB118-MBB.html

      Baggallini bags are made well, last forever (at least that has been my experience), are lightweight, and I think one of the best things about them is that you can handwash them if they get dirty.

  22. Julie

    I’ve been carrying the Baggallini Avenue Tote for about 2 months and I love it. I bought the quilted back version because I thought it looked a little more professional and the quilted nylon fabric would have more body (it does).

    I love totes and have several leather ones, but I wanted something that has a zipper, has a removable shoulder strap, has a pocket to hold my slim thermos, and is lightweight yet durable. I have several Baggallini bags and really love them. They are not the most stylish bag to carry, but they are lightweight, durable, have pretty good organizational pockets and I love that I can handwash them (air dry) whenever they get dirty.

    The Avenue Tote satisfies all my requirements and I am very satisfied with it.

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