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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 134 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Navy Lightweight Wool V-Neck Sheath

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Banana Republic Navy Lightweight Wool V-Neck Sheath | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Reader E wrote in to recommend this dress, noting: “I just tried on this dress in the store, and it's amazing! The model does not do it justice… probably because it looks better on curvy figures. The neckline is a bit low but otherwise it looks and feels great, and I love a dress with sleeves. I just had to share!” It looks gorgeous, and a simple wool/spandex sheath dress with sleeves can be hard to find. It was $150, but is currently marked $135. Banana Republic Navy Lightweight Wool V-Neck Sheath Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • Scout

      Also good luck to everyone who had to deal with the Exam Soft upload debacle. I’m sure everything will get sorted out, but what a terrible source of stress!

      • Diana Barry

        Sometimes I’m glad I took exams back in the days of paper…I think it was one of the last years before people had the option to use a laptop.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        I’ve just been reading about this and OH MAN! Sorry about the caps, but this sounds super stressful.

        I had enough stress when I realised that my on-loan laptop needed an operating system upgrade to be able to use ExamSoft and the OS was only available on special order, yet buying a new laptop was not an option as ExamSoft didn’t work with more recent operating systems yet! That said, it was all worth it for being able to type the exam, but I can’t even imagine the stress of not being able to upload your answers. At least in CA there was another essay day at the end so the upload deadline wasn’t until Thursday night!

        • Anon

          What happened? I took it in 2006 and was one of the “lottery” people who got to take it on a laptop. I remember some software we had to use. Same software now?

          • Scout

            Above the law has a detailed post on it. But in sum the tests weren’t uploading to the server after the test and most states have time limits on when the test has to be uploaded from their computers. Luckily it doesn’t sound like the actual exams were “lost” but just a huge headache and not what people needed the night before day 2.

          • anon

            It’s a problem with an obvious solution, though. If I remember correctly, ExamSoft locks you out of your exam after the time is up for typing. The file then sits on your computer, in ExamSoft, waiting to be uploaded. You can’t alter the test in any way, you just need to have an internet connection to do the upload. It shouldn’t be hard at all for each state to just extend the upload time.

      • Senior Attorney

        Wow, can’t imagine!

        I am so old that I took my bar exam on an actual typewriter. I actually carried two typewriters into the exam room in case something happened to the first one, and believe it or not I had a problem and had to switch to my backup typewriter. It was super stressful but I was so happy to have brought an extra.

        Can you imagine the noise of a while roomful of people typing their exams on typewriters? LOL

  2. Ellen

    YAY! What a great selection, Kat! I love Banana Republic AND this shethe dress. You are right – the neckline may be a little to low, but it is so cute that I think I can RISK weareing it at the office. Frank may have calmed down and does NOT stare as much at me as he used to. YAY!

    Yesterday a fellow hive member was getting MARRIED and asked for a good restrarunt in San Francisco. I recomended the Stinking Rose and I wanted to know if any others in the hive enjoy it also? It is a garlic restrarunt where almost everything is made out of garlic! They have garlic all over the place and I loved it!

    Lynn is back in the office and now I have to council her on stuff NOT to be doieng in the office with Mason (or anyone else). I told my mom and she was SHOCKED. Dad just chuckeled and mom got mad at him b/c I think she remember’s what Dad did while he was stationed in Eastern Europe with the local women there. She told me once that I could have some half brother’s or sister’s oversea’s b/c dad was haveing a good time and was NOT that carful over there. Dad say’s he was a freedom fighter, but I do not know what that means when it come’s to haveing sex with local women.

    The manageing partner is goeing to speak at another CLE in September, this one on International Arbitration. He want’s me to do the POWERPOINT. I do NOT even think he has ever done any International Arbitration while I have been here. FOOEY! He say’s he has, so I have to pull some old file out of storage. FOOEY! I may need the help of the hive on my powerpoint slide’s. If anyone has any INTERNET powerpoint’s, can you p’ost the link so I can copy them? Thank’s in advance! YAY!!!

  3. Red Beagle

    Love the dress. Would probably wear it over a cami for the office and its a smidge short on the model but probably would work just fine on me as long as there was enough stretch in the bosom zone. Great little sleeves. Only thing is it has a small v-neck in the back which lands it in the cardi- or jacket-only zone for me for the office. Pity – because it has sleeves so if it weren’t for neckline that says evening to me, it would be great in the office without a jacket.

    • LT IT

      Just saw a similar dress in the newest Talbots catalog. V-neck, short sleeved, lightweight wool and lined. Probably not so low cut. Haven’t checked it out in person yet but maybe a good alternative at same price pt.

      • emeralds

        Can I say that I really like a lot of stuff in the new Talbots catalog? That probably means I’m an old lady, but they had a lot of great dresses, sweaters, and skirts, in classic, easy-to-wear shapes.

        • Flying Squirrel

          Well, I bought my favorite post-partum figure flattering dress from Talbot’s a couple of months ago, so I totally agree. Especially since you can almost always find everything on sale, their quality is fantastic for the price point. And I think that there is a way to selectively choose young looking pieces. Silhouettes can sometimes be boxy, but tailoring can help (cf. good quality materials). I do wonder how they stay in business, though, since it seems like literally every single thing ends up on sale sooner or later.

        • lucy stone

          I’m 31 and I’d say 90% of my work wardrobe is Talbots. I wear a plus size on bottoms and in jackets and they have some of the only plus workwear that isn’t polyester. Their plus clothing is made from the same material as their misses instead of making everything stretchy with enormous florals.

          • Saguaro

            +1. And their work clothes are not thin material and flimsy, which I find at places like Ann Taylor (which I love, but don’t often find items there I can wear anymore).

        • LT IT

          Yes, and +1 to the person who said they love the catalog. It’s really well-produced. Sometimes the clothes are boxy but I can always find nice things there and online.

          • IDoNotLiketheConeofShame

            I love their catalog, but Talbot’s is boxy on me.

            What I miss is Ann Taylor circa 10 years ago, before they went down hill. That was my work clothes mecca. I’m not ashamed to admit I still wear some pieces from that era. Now I do well at BR, some J. Crew and Nordstrom’s.

  4. KittyKat

    I don’t think this dress does much for the model, it looks like the sleeves are going to fall down and there is weird gathering around the tummy. This dress is definitely something I would have to see in person. On that note though I am 8 months into my hunt for a basic navy pump. Leather, not patent, 3-4 inches, almond or pointed toe. Help? I have seen Suede, patent, 5 inch, 2 inch and every variation possible, just not the variation I am looking for.

  5. Gail the Goldfish

    I got this dress last week during one of their frequent 40% off sales and can attest that it does work well with pear shapes. The neckline might be a little low for some depending on your cleavage comfort level, but for the smaller of chest and wider of hip/thigh, it works well. I think I went up a size from my usual (but it’s been a while since I bought a dress at BR). It’s slightly on the short side, but still ok for me (I’m 5’6″; I’d probably get a tall if it comes in tall if you’re much taller)

    • AIMS

      BR is having another 40% off promo now (50% off some items). Blazers are included & lots of suiting is actually already marked down. FYI.

    • Borderline Petite Definite Pear

      I tried this dress last week really trying to get it to work: 4, 4P, 6, 6P. I’m a bit of a pear and the P fit on top but make the skirt a bit shorter than I’d like (for work; I’d probably wear it to a non-work evening event).

      That said, the BR staff was wonderful and I did get a suit there that I love. I would have love to have this dress work — it is much better looking in person (even when it was less-than-perfectly fitting on me).

  6. marketingchic

    This comes in tall (in other colors) which I love – but it’s excluded from discounts. Boo.

  7. Wildkitten

    Does anyone have a good suggestion of classy/comfortable sandals I can buy for less than $50? I’ve recently decided that as an adult I should probably have summer footwear that are a tad more pulled together than flip flops.

  8. amy88

    How do you respond / deal with your husband when he just complains about your mistakes and how things should have been done in the past instead of focusing on how to fix a problem?

    For example – he has a trailer he is selling. The dealer needs some official paper that shows the weight. He got this paper when he first bought it last year, but I have looked everywhere and cannot find it. I am generally really good about keeping important papers, receipts etc so I’m not sure what happened. This morning he said how he was glad this wasn’t his fault and all he did was complain about how I shouldn’t have lost the paper in the first place.

    I did some research this morning on how to get another paper and even I relayed that information he complained about how he shouldn’t have to be doing any of this extra work. I agree it is an incovenience and I said I would look for the paper again when I got home.

    I just don’t think it is productive to complain about things that can’t be changed and especially place all the blame on me. I don’t know. I’m just frustrated and need to vent.

    • Anon

      Why were you responsible for the paper?

      Even if you were, your husband is acting like a spoiled brat. I would have said – ‘sorry I can’t find it’ and let him deal with the consequences (unless he didn’t want to sell the trailer in the first place).

      If he kept bringing it up, I think I would respond with something like “What do you hope to achieve by bringing this up? I cannot change what happened.” – Repeat ad infinitum until he stops.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. This is not OK behavior. Just tell him you can’t find it, then he can look for it himself if he needs it.

        Is this a pattern of behavior, where he complains about things you do all the time? If so, counseling.

    • Veronica Mars

      Tell him to stop being a whiny man-child and appreciate all the wonderful things you do for him? Then again, I’m single, so there’s that.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah I don’t deal with anyone who thinks I’m his secretary and he’s entitled to be a jerk if I don’t run his life to his standards.

      • lawsuited

        I am married, and if my husband did this, I would respond by laughing and ignoring further grumbling. I do lots of things to help my husband, so when I make a mistake and it doesn’t go right I chalk it up to a natural rate of human error. It’s not like my husband gets it right all of the time, and I’m sure your husband doesn’t either. He can continue to grumble and dwell on it, but you can choose not to.

    • Meg Murry

      Ugh, he was probably frustrated and venting too, but that doesn’t make what he said acceptable. Unless you took the paper from his hands and volunteered to file it, this is not your fault or problem. You are not his secretary. I would tell him so in exactly those words. As in “I am not your secretary. If you didn’t file that paper away where you will remember it, that isn’t my fault. Do not blame me because you lost this paper. Here is the number you can call to get a new one.”
      The only way this might be a tiny bit your problem is if you have a habit of wisking things off counters into “safe places”. My mother-in-law has this habit of “cleaning up”, meaning her house looks spotless but she can never remember what “safe place” she tucked away all the things she cleaned up – which was a problem since we still had occasional mail forwarded to her place from when we were between houses, and mail from the business my husband and FIL also gets sent there. We finally set up 2 inboxes – one for huband and I, one for the business and asked her to put our stuff there, and only there. Same thing with when my husband & I leave stuff lying around the house. We each have an “inbox” that the other can put paperwork and mail into if we aren’t sure if they still need said paper or not.
      But overall, your husband is being an a s s. He might be stressed about the lost paper, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be an a s s to you about it.
      Last, did he look in the glove compartment of the vehicle he uses to haul said trailer? That’s where the lost paperwork for our trailer was finally found, mixed into the registration and maintenance records for the truck in the glove compartment.

        • Meg Murry

          Only because she said she already did the research to find it. If she hadn’t already done that (which she didn’t need to do), that could be left out.

    • Toffee

      Sounds like a personality conflict. His communication style is conflicting with you. Have you both done Myers Briggs? I found out that what I say as a general observation, DH hears as a personal complaint about him. I had to change my way of complaining to emphasize I wasn’t blaming him and he had to learn not to take everything I say personally. We saw huge improvements.

      • West Coast Lawyer

        This is really interesting to me. I’ve done a Myers Briggs assessment through work and want my husband to do it mostly because I’m curious. If you don’t mind my asking, what were your types?

        • Toffee

          I am ENTJ (typical lawyer), he is INTP (typical engineer) I think. In theory, our types don’t get along. But I think that’s more in a professional world. With a little understanding of our differences in communication, we have a great time in our personal lives.

          • Wildkitten

            My BF and I are oppos!te types and it’s really helpful to understand what your natural tendencies are so you can thoughtfully adjust them to interact better with your partner.

    • Spirograph

      Ugh, I hate when my husband does things like this, and I hate it more when he puts the blame on me when responsibility is shared or ambiguous. I’ve had to have this conversation several times (and will probably have it several more), but I tell him that it’s really frustrating when he says “You didn’t do XYZ,” and it would be more constructive (and make me happier) if he rephrased as “We still need to do XYZ.” Then we could talk about how to fix the problem and move forward rather than doing the blame thing. He always apologizes and understands once I bring this up, and does a better job for a while, but it hasn’t become a permanent habit yet.

    • amy88

      Thanks all. I generally take care of paperwork, bills and filing papers. I don’t mind it because I like to keep things organized. And the majority of the time everything is where it should be. Without getting in a time machine neither of us can accurately say what happened.

      I did check the glove box and found the registration but no further paperwork.

      I’m going to try the “what are you trying to achieve” response if he continues with this.

      • Anonymous

        Well, then, it does sound like your fault. You took on this task and screwed it up. In your original post you don’t mention being profusely apologetic. It’s nice you want to focus on fixing it, but he’s right, he shouldn’t be having to deal with this. It’s not fair for him to just make you be responsible for paper , but if you’ve voluntarily taken that task on I don’t think still being upset about it the next day is out of line.

        • Seriously?

          I don’t think it is out of line for her husband to be upset, but his reaction seems over the top, especially given that OP has already researched how to resolve the issue. How is focusing on who is to blame making the situation better in any way? In my marriage, we don’t assign blame and we aren’t *glad* when the other spouse is to blame for something that goes wrong instead of us. That’s a pretty sh!tty thing to say to your partner.

          • Anon

            This 100%. Now that I know that the OP was in charge of that paperwork, I understand why her husband believes it’s her fault for losing it. It is her fault for losing it. But he shouldn’t be “glad” that she is to blame. What’s that about?

      • Senior Attorney

        My feeling is that the price of having somebody else take care of all your paperwork is assuming the risk that every once in a while something will go astray. You want it done perfectly, 100% of the time? You take it on.

        That said, it’s okay to express frustration, mildly, once, when something goes astray. It is not okay to throw a fit and continuing throwing said fit in lieu of moving forward to solve the problem.

        • Anonymous

          This, exactly. If he was a client who paid her to do his filing, then he would have a basis for being upset. But she does this voluntarily as one of her “split the household work” duties, in the same way he might take on mowing the lawn. He doesn’t get to throw a hissy fit in the same way it would be unfair if she railed on him for not mowing in a perfect baseball field pattern.

      • Bee

        Is your husband this hard on himself when he makes a mistake? If his internal dialogue is hypercritical of his own mistakes, it’s not that surprising that he would treat you the same way he treats himself. It could take a while to turn this around, but ultimately if he learns to treat himself better he’ll be a much happier person and a better partner. On the other hand, if he’s forgiving of his own mistakes and not yours, that’s a more fundamental problem in the marriage. People are imperfect and husband is going to have to learn to accept that. You need to be able to be imperfect and still feel loved. Harping on your every misstep hardly fosters intimacy.

      • lawsuited

        This all boggles my mind. Do people really get this upset when their partner loses a piece of paper? When the partner doesn’t sort the recycling properly? Or loads the dishwasher too full? Or forgets to pick up something at the store? Or files the taxes late? Life is too short to spend energy freaking out about these things. The point of romantic partnership is primarily to have someone to share love and companionship with, and secondarily to share the load of menial tasks that make life go smoothly. Focus on the former, not the latter.

    • amy88

      Thanks for the feedback. When things have calmed down a bit I’m going to talk about this a bit further. I think part of it is a difference in personality/communication styles that we need to work on. I guess I’m very much into the “don’t cry over spilled milk” philosophy. There are times internally when I’ll be mad at myself whem something goes wrong, but I try not to do that to others. It is important to learn from past mistakes, but there’s a point where it’s just not useful to continually focus on the past. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent about this.

  9. Wedding reception dinner in SF?

    Reposting from yesterday to try to get more responses – thanks to those of you who did respond!

    Can anyone recommend a good restaurant for a wedding reception dinner in San Francisco? Near City Hall and less than $75/plate would be ideal (less than $60/plate and organic/local super ideal!). Any recommendations would be much appreciated! We would have about 35-55 guests.

    • Anonymous

      How about that bar/restaurant on the corner of Civic Center, sort of next to the Asian Arts Museum? We had drinks there after our city hall wedding and liked it. I think they have a private dining room there too.

    • Orangerie

      How close to city hall? Does it need to be walking distance?

      I don’t really hang out in that neighborhood much.. but after a quick look at yelp, Jardiniere is basically right across the street and has a private dining room.

  10. Kate

    For women around size 18, Land’s End On the Counter has a ton of great basic knit dresses for around $20 each. They say their XL is an 18 and that they run large, so 18s, 20s, etc check it out!

  11. Woods-comma-Elle

    Any Barcelona recommendations? Sitesearch hasn’t brought up anything. I’ve been once before, but only for an afternoon and did the open top bus tour and had lunch, so I have only seen the very surface.

    Particularly interested in local food/restaurant recommendations (pinxtos etc).

    • Bad Intern

      Sagrada Familia
      Park guell
      Olympic stadium
      The beach!
      Pulpo gallego (octupus dish)
      Barcelona cathedral
      Gaudi houses

    • Equity's Darling

      Yes! I did a market tour and cooking class with Cook and Taste Barcelona (something like that? google it), and it was so so amazing- I think it was maybe somewhere between $100 and $200, and worth every penny. Also, eat all the churros. This was the place my cook taste chef recomended as local and great churros, he was right, I stopped by to buy churros every. single. day. of my 10 days there. Churreria Manuel San Román
      Carrer dels Banys Nous, 8, 08002 Barcelona

      I also really loved the day trip out to Montserrat- I did a bit of light hiking and it was just beautiful out there. I also took the trip out to Figueres, if you’re into Dali the museum is great.

      Also, try to go see an FC Barcelona game if you can, it was so much fun, and I’m not even a huge soccer fan.

      Also, the Juan Miro museum/gallery was just fabulous (assuming you’re into art that is).

      Plus all of Bad Intern’s suggestions.

      • Equity's Darling

        Also! I did La Pedrera at night, they include a glass of cava and appies I think? Some music?

        Regardless, that was great, no kids running around, and a lovely way to see the city and Pedrera at night.

        • Equity's Darling

          Another one! Casa Gispert- best almonds I’ve ever eaten in my life. I wish I had brought home 5 lbs of them and ditched that stupid paella pan that I just had to have and never use. Also really great olive oils and vinegars (I just finishd my vinegar de Jerez from there this morning for my lunch salad. So sads- I’ll have to find a version available locally).

    • Orangerie

      +1 to La Boqueria, I could have spent days in that place!

      Casa Batlló was fantastic. Didn’t get a chance to see La Pedrera/Casa Milà, but some of the roof sculptures are visible from the ground, so there’s that.

      If you have time for a museum, we really enjoyed Museu Picasso.

    • Spirograph

      In addition to Bad Intern’s suggestions, there’s a cool maritime museum at the end of La Rambla, if I’m remembering right. I don’t speak Spanish, but it was still enjoyable. And a music hall, Palau de Musica Catalana? It’s not Gaudi, but it’s really gorgeous/colorful/interesting inside. There are performances in the evening and tours during the day.

      It’s been years, so I don’t remember any restaurant suggestions, but I do remember we never had a bad meal and we ended up at restaurants with flamenco performances and various other live music just by following people who looked like they were going somewhere interesting and asking at our (divey) hotel and wine bars. Ditto the comment above about churros. mmmmmmm

    • DC Association

      Quimet y Quimet. the absolute best tapas ever. I have been three times. No English spoken there and it is an all stand-up place. Please arrive as soon as they open or you can’t get in. It is near the funicular that goes up to Olympic Village.

      If you do not go, I will hold it against you forever!

  12. Erle

    I have a large bust compared to the rest of my body, and I am just sick of all my clothes looking tent-ey, for lack of a better word. What shapes do you larger busted women look for to prevent tenty looking shirts and dresses? I also don’t feel comfortable with clothes touching my stomach, so I try to avoid things that are too tight around the waist, which is probably making it worse.

    • Anonymous

      Well , that’s unfortunately exactly what I do! If something isn’t a bit fitted at the waist, and just flows from my boobs, the rest of me looks large too.

      • Kathryn

        Yes, I can’t think of a way that you would give your midsection more shape without the clothing touching your stomach. Depending on why you’re uncomfortable, I would suggest either having something more tailored at the waist and wearing a full-body slip, or trying items of clothing made of thicker fabrics so that they flatter that area more.

        I have a relatively large bust and hips, therefore I do make sure that everything is very tailored to my waistline. Anything else looks awful on me.

    • Clementine

      In my experience, when you have a larger bust and want to avoid the dreaded tent phoenomenon the options are:

      1. Wear Tailored clothes
      2. Wear knit clothes that stretch a bit to accommodate the ladies upstairs.

      If you’re not comfortable with clothes being too clingy around the midsection, I would probably find a good tailor. A decent tailor can do magical things like take the waist and hips in on a sheath dress so it fits your bust properly but then just skims the rest of your body. They can also help with jackets, etc. I’m a an hourglass (34DD, 26 waist, 38 hips for reference) and I have found that the best looks on me are wrap dresses, belted dresses, wider legged trousers with knit tops, and pencil skirts with not-too-voluminous silk blouses.

      Also, after a few delighfully awkward, ‘Oh! Are you expecting?’ moments, I have banned empire waisted dresses from my wardrobe.

    • Ade

      I have a large bust and a not so flat stomach, as well as larger thighs. I absolutely feel the most comfortable in dresses. It’s hard to deal with skirts and pants when they are cutting right into your problem areas. (The exception would maybe be an a-line or fuller skirt but depending on your workplace this may or may not be appropriate). I would look for dresses which are structured and lined, I’ve found that jersey/soft fabrics just cling to everything too much for my comfort. Someone else mentioned thicker fabrics and I absolutely agree. No, you don’t want it to be tight around the waist, but unless you’re wiling to have it nip in a little bit, you’re going to end up with a tent effect.

    • In the Pink

      I really swear by having a good seamstress.

      I wear fit-and-flare dresses and then tops with pencil skirts.

      I always have to have the waists of everything taken in, being an extreme hourglass.

      The cost for tailoring something is just factored into my head when trying to decide whether or not to buy something.

      Wish I could find wrap dresses that don’t need a tank underneath and that have a faux wrap where the wrapping part of the dress is sewn shut, onto the opposing side of the skirt. I mean, modesty, please.

      Where are people finding wide legged trousers? I can only find the humongous pull on kind, even looking at Niemans…

  13. LDR problems

    Hi all! I’m looking for some advice from anyone who may have been in this situation-

    I am located in a major east coast city, while my significant other lives in a major Midwest city. I moved from that city for my current job approximately 2 years ago, honestly not expecting my relationship to survive. However, it did and I am now hoping to get back to my original city. Fortunately/unfortunately, I really enjoy my current job (in-house corporate law). Is there any good way to ask about working remotely after only being here 2 years? I have started searching for new positions in my significant other’s city, if only to have an option if my current employer nixes the idea when I bring it up, but my industry is heavily east coast-focused and I have not had a ton of luck. I should note that I am relatively junior (approx. 4 years out of law school). Anyone been there done that?

    • Anonymous

      I think the question should be “why would they want to let me work from home half way across the country?” As a 2nd year employee with 4 years out of school, I can’t see a good answer. But if you can, that’s how you focus the conversation.

      • LDR problems

        Thanks – that’s kind of what I keep coming back to as well. No real great way to approach the situation but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m eventually going to have to take the risk! I’m pushing 30 and think I am ready to put my personal life before my career for the first time :)

        • Anon

          Have you talked about this with your SO? Is he willing to move to your city?

          I would focus and not move for anyone unless engagement/marriage was at least being seriously discussed- especially if I was making career sacrifices.

          Very important to make sure you are on the same page with him about what a move means.

          • LDR problems

            Thanks, I totally agree. We have discussed engagement and are definitely on the same page about moving forward with that. Unfortunately the nature of his job does not allow him to move, and he also makes a lot more than I do, as well as having a higher future earnings potential. Not that that’s the only consideration when someone is moving but I think it makes more sense, both job-wise and also where both of our friends/families are, for me to try to move there rather than vice versa.

    • Diana Barry

      I think there are 2 separate issues:

      1. do you *definitely* want to move back? I would have this conversation with your SO first. Are you only moving for your SO, or are there other things in the city to keep you there? You said you didn’t expect the relationship to work out, but it did. Are there lingering issues or is everything good now? Are you expecting the relationship to be there for the long haul?

      2. if the answer to #1 is yes, then start looking for jobs in the new city. I would only bring up working remotely for your current firm once you have another offer or moving day is imminent – if you bring it up ahead of time and they don’t want to have you working remotely, then they might decide to fire you preemptively because they think you’re not committed to the job.

      • LDR problems

        Thanks!

        For 1) – I am definitely sure I want to move back. There were no real relationship issues when I moved, we had just not been together long enough for me to not take a great opportunity in another city. I thought he would end things when I told him I was moving, or the distance would wear us down but he was only supportive and encouraging, and we have managed to see each other at least 2x a month. On top of that, most of my closteat friends are located in his city as well (I grew up and went to undergrad/law school in the Midwest, so I would be happy moving back with or without the relationship). I cannot see raising kids where I am now so I just don’t see myself here long-term regardless.

        For 2) I have started this! And for the few positions I see in my industry I am getting pretty immediate responses, but I have just begun the process so don’t know how it will work out. There are just so few positions it’s hard to be optimistic about one of them working out but ideally I will give it a few more months and be in a better position to bring it up with my current job. I am deinitely wary about the whole looking non-committed thing, which I guess is hard to avoid in this situation.

    • momentarily anonymous

      I think this is very dependent on your company. Do other people work remotely? How integral are you to the team/what’s your relationship like with your boss? If you’re close with them/feel valued/other people work remotely, I would straight up ask.

      “I’m seriously considering moving to X city, where my long-term partner and family live. I love working here, and would love to continue to do so. Is working remotely something you’d consider?”

      If they’re not sure, you could propose a trial period where you work remotely for 1-2 weeks per month for a period of 3 – 6 months to see if it would work in practice (for both you and the company).

      If they think about it & say no, I’d propose an alternative:

      “Because I am planning on moving to X city, I have a hard move date of [date] in mind. As you know, I enjoy working here and would love to continue working here for [3/6 months] after I move to x city. Would it be possible to work remotely for a temporary period [3, 6 months] following my move date?” I know people who have negotiated a temporary transitional period like this.

      • tesyaa

        One of my co-workers did this. After 3 months she found another job in her new location, as expected. Not only that, a few years later she and her husband decided to move back to this area. She applied for a couple of openings and was rehired.

      • LDR problems

        Thanks! These are really helpful ideas. It seems like such a huge thing to ask, but they could be more amenable to the trial-run suggestion.

    • Anonski

      I am going through this same thing; I relocated for a job a few hours away from my home state, and now I want to get back to my home state, but I do love this job and the company. I am 90% sure my company would agree to me working remotely from my home state, but I don’t think it would be the best solution for me or the company.

      So, I am looking for a new job in home state, but they are few and far between, so it is discouraging but I am trying to be patient. I have decided, at least for now, not to ask to work remotely. I think they may offer that if I come to them with another job offer in my home state, but I am not going to ask before that, without another job offer. I think if I did that they will assume I will leave as soon as I have a job offer in home state, and they would be right. I don’t need them knowing that.

  14. Minkoff MAB

    Does anyone own the Rebecca Minkoff MAB satchel (not mini)? If so, what do you like/dislike about it?

    • Maddie Ross

      I own the regular (2 of them) and the mini. Obviously I like them, but I’ve noticed that the quality of RM’s bags has gone downhill in the past couple of years. The regular size holds a TON. Even regular size tablets (paper and iPad style). The cross-body strap is pretty useless except for short stints (think in an airport carrying luggage and the bag). The bag is too wide to really be an effective cross-body.

  15. Blazers?

    Having just moved from years in academia to a professional setting, I have become enthralled with blazers and how instantly put together they make me feel. Does anyone have any favorite places to look for 1) textured blazers and 2) ponte/sweater blazers? Mostly interested in neutrals or maybe deep colors like plum/navy, especially interested in anything that’s on sale! I’m a size 12 or 14p, curvy with a short torso, if that makes a difference.

    • ALN

      I have two ponte blazers (Caslon and Olivia Moon) that I LOVE and a stripped sweater blazer (Halogen) that I don’t love as much. Mostly I wish it was a solid color rather than a pattern. All came from Nordstrom. And I think most of those are included in NAS.

    • What in the Blazers?

      Can you share some brands/sizes you already have in your closet to get started?

    • Jdubs

      I have similar measurements and I actually really like the ponte blazers from Chicos. You have to wade through some hideous stuff, but there are good ones if you look.

    • In the Pink

      Talbots, especially Talbots outlets for blazers…

      Some of the Halogen and Classiques Entier have worked in the past (from nordies)…but I found that their sweater jackets quickly lost their shape and got saggy then boxy.

      I have also done well with the Albert Nipon line, either through macys or on sale from n-marcus. Have to be careful though, as the fabrics often end up reading “mother of the bride” or “older wedding guest.”

      I still find it difficult to find solid colors other than black and I wish I had more solids in my closets, especially over patterned dresses or tops.

      With the current fascination with either military-inspired or moto-inspired blazers, it is hard to find those with a regular stance and 1 button closure that flatters…. as a curvy gal.

      I have had straight blazers taken in to be more curvy, including brands like Lafayette and others. Been successful.

      Boden has nice blazers although I still need to have them nipped in at the waist. I usually wait for the sales.

      I haven’t bitten the bullet and bought from Pendleton yet. Can anyone provide feedback???

    • Bonnie

      For textured blazers, try T Tahari. I’ve found some cute ones on Amazon for around $50.

  16. Chai

    I have a presentation to the CEO this morning and I woke up with a slight runny nose and tingly throat! I’m also pregnant and can’t take the usual cold medicine options.
    I can deal with the symptoms unmedicated – they are very mild, but I’m worried about sniffling and/or having to blow my nose during my presentation!
    Is there anything I can take (herbal tea?) before my meeting that will suppress nasal symptoms for about an hour or so? Or any other strategies to help me get through this without looking sniffly? How stupid will it look!
    Please don’t tell me I should’ve stayed home and kept germs to myself, this presentation was scheduled in advance, my symptoms are mild and it’ll probably look way worse if I’d cancelled due to sickness!

    • Anon

      If it’s just once to get through the presentation, I’d consider just taking cold meds. Can’t be any worse than a glass of wine.

    • Maddie Ross

      Obviously if you’re concerned ask your doctor, but mine told me sudafed was fine and I used it several times while pregnant.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I would imagine the new sudafed (not behind the counter) is probably safer too because it doesn’t have the stuff in it that makes your heart race. Not pregant but I couldn’t tolerate old sudafed and the new one doesn’t give me any side effects. No sleepiness, no heart racing.

      • JJ

        Agreed. I used sudafed and Mucinex with my doc’s approval. Also, Neti Pots. Those got me through the colds I got every time I was pregnant.

    • Toffee

      Plain saline spray like simply saline. Spay and blow your nose right before the presentation. That’ll do it.

    • Anon

      Use a neti-pot. It’ll wash all the stuff out. If you can’t do that, saline spray is a good alternative, though not as good.

    • NewMomAnon

      Honestly, unless you’re doing constant honking noseblowing, it’s not that big of a deal. Keep a tissue nearby and discretely dab your nose when you feel the need. And if you’re already public about the pregnancy and/or visibly pregnant, you get a lot of leeway, so just own it – I would just say, “pardon my tissues, I’ve got some [allergies/cold symptoms] today.” Vaseline in your nose would prevent drippage, saline rinse or neti pot will keep the congestion at bay, and you may be able to use a saline nasal spray closer to the presentation itself to reduce congestion. Although be careful with the saline rinse, I find that my nose is pretty runny for an hour or so afterward. Also consider heavily moisturizing your nose and using lotion tissues so you don’t get that red and raw look from frequent noseblowing…

      And good luck!

    • Chai

      Thank you all! I may have been overreacting, my nose is actually holding up ok after some warm green tea and a solid breakfast. Saline solution on hand and I am all set!
      I will still use all of your ideas to manage symptoms if they get worse in the next day or two.

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