Wednesday’s TPS Report: ‘Dapper Ryan’ Graphic T-Shirt

142 Comments

1. Oh, Kat, how could you omit that this shirt would look best with a dress short suit? Maybe this one?
   http://fashion.about.com/od/howtos/ss/10-Ways-To-Wear-Shorts.htm

2. Or you could wear this awesome bathing suit as a bodysuit under a suit! http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/clashist-james-franco-one-piece-swimsuit/3977779?origin=related-3977779-0-1-PP_OOS-Rich_Relevance_Recs_API-113&recs_type=related&recs_productId=3977779&recs_categoryId=0&recs_productOrder=1&recs_placementId=PP_OOS&recs_source=Rich_Relevance_Recs_API&recs_strategy=113&recs_referringPageType=item_page

3. I am a junior associate in a tiny practice group and have lately been stuck working with an older partner who is driving me crazy. He verbally tells me to do something one way, forgets he told me, and then weeks down the road comes storming into my office asking me why I did it that way. This has happened so. many. times. What’s worse is that he’s “corrected” me in front of a client about something he explicitly told me to do. He’s also yelled at me after he saved changes to my initial draft without first making a new version… he was mad because he couldn’t find the initial version! I’ve started printing out hard copies of literally everything I do for him, but then he inevitably takes those to “review” and I never see them again.

   This is all frustrating because anything I do seems like it would come across poorly as a very junior associate. I can’t exactly sit down and show a 30+-year partner how to use Word, and I can’t ask him to write down his instructions because he thinks email is “inefficient.” I can’t show him my own notes on his instructions because I swear he’s the type of person who would look me straight in the face and tell me I took notes wrong.

   Ugh. Sorry, I have no question. /rant.

   1. Oh wait, and one more. He never ever updates me when he hears from a client, but somehow expects me to constantly know what is going on. I’ve started stopping by his office to ask about our cases, but he only gets annoyed at the interruption. Everything I do is wrong!!

      1. Yay! I love this shirt, but NOT for work. I would REAALY like to be abel to buy a shirt and put my OWN digital picture’s of MY family on the shirt, but if I did, Frank would come by and point at each person and ask “who is THIS? and Who is THAT?” and I am sure he would be pokeing at my boobie’s and other places with his finger’s when he KNOWS I do NOT like him to get cheep feel’s like he does. He even likes to touch Madeline, who is not attractive just b/c he LOVES to go around telling people what a big man he is with the ladie’s. FOOEY on that b/c he is MARRIED and has his wife’s boobies and tuchus to grab at home. There is no reason why he should NOT keep his hand’s to himself, like the manageing partner, who has MARGIE. YAY!

         As for the OP, do NOT sweat it. I had this issue with the manageing partner, but now that I have become VERY independent in legal analysis, I do NOT rely on him for advise or run thing’s by him b/f doeing them. If I did, I could never work and bill as much as I do. He is good with that b/c I am the ONLEY one in the office who was CONSISTENTLEY abel to bill 600 hours a month LAST year, and now, this year, I am billeing out at 625 hour’s a month! And the client’s are all happy and paying! YAY!

   2. Dude, that is a big challenge. Sorry!!! Do you have anyone else in the practice group with whom you could speak about it? Like a more senior associate or junior partner? His assistant also might be helpful if s/he has a strategy for dealing with this kind of thing (because if he is changing his mind all the time with you, you can bet he is doing it with other people.

      This might be an occasion for CYA emails – you email him after your conversation with a confirmatory email of “you asked me to do X in Y way, and I will have the work product ready for you on Z date.” If he doesn’t want you to email him, I would find the most sympathetic other partner/senior associate and email THEM to confirm his assignment to you. (Note – if there is a senior associate who has worked with him before, s/he may be able to ‘interpret’ instructions to say “he said A but he really means B.” In addition, before you hand things in to him, save them as version 2 so that version 1 is still preserved, and also print out 3 copies so you have 2 that can get handed to him when he asks for them (and keep the third in your own files!).

      Just saw your edit note – I would ask his assistant. S/he probably screens calls and knows what’s going on with the cases!

      1. +1 to the ‘print out an additional copy and keep it in your files’.

         I also like to save electronic versions in my own personal folder and name them with the date so I have Dumb File (4-1-15) and if someone tells me ‘no, I need to see the paragraph as I rewrote three weeks ago, I can go to Dumb File (3-7-15) and have it available. I just save things as soon as I get them back, before any changes are made so I can always go back with minimal effort.

   3. When he verbally gives you instructions, write them up in an email and send it to him. “Dear Partner, I’m writing to summarize the next steps on Project X that we discussed earlier. I will revise x, draft this letter, etc. please let me know if you’d like anything else or anything done differently. Thanks.”

      I give verbal instructions a lot, usually because I’m still thinking through the issue, and I love getting recap emails like this.

      1. Exactly this.

         I’ve had a previous situation with a boss like this and it became very inflamed and at some point was past the point of repair. My current supervisor has tendencies to be like that, and even though it’s hard I’ve tried very hard to let go of the frustration and charmingly apply my criticism in a joking manner. Like when he comes up with crazy wording that I know he won’t like on Monday I’ve laughingly said “Uhm great wording. Is this draft or take down as is.In the latter case let me just jot down that this was your idea so when you look at me like I lost my mind on Monday, we both remember. ‘This type of thing definitely won’t work for every boss, but maybe try it? Though from the sounds of it, you’re in a super tough spot.

   4. Although your situation seems a bit extreme, the basic problem you describe is fairly common. Send a CYA email. So when he tells you to do something, send an email confirming what you discussed in person. That way you have a written record of what you were told to do.

   5. Umm are you me? One of the partners I work with is like this and it drives me insane.

      I think the tips you’ve received are really good. I would definitely send CYA emails, just to show your understanding. If you’re wrong (in his view), that’s fine but at least you can show that what you did is in line with his instructions.

      Also agree on printing multiple copies and keeping a hard copy for yourself. I never give my partner like this originals because he will inevitably lose them and create more hassle for me and his assistant. Resave each file as a new draft number and on the first page, create a header with the date, version number and time so it’s easy to weed through multiple drafts, especially if they end up being printed.

      Also making friends with his assistant is key. He or she probably has some good coping mechanisms and if you make it clear to the assistant that you’re on the same page, s/he’ll make sure you’re updated and in the loop. If you don’t make friends with the assistant, it can be worse for you so be friendly.

      Hope this helps. Also venting helps a lot.

   6. Emails confirming his instructions are key. Also, in terms of him saving over your initial drafts, it might be helpful to email each draft you work on, either to him or to an email account you create for this purpose, this way you can go into your sent box (or your special account’s inbox) to retrieve the original version.

   7. So everyone has given you good suggestions for dealing with this crazy guy. I’m going to give you another suggestion which will be better for your career. Start finding work from someone else. Start trying to diversify your billables. A person who treats people like this will never help you advance in your career, or be a mentor or help with a reference when you leave–he’s already proven that he’s vindictive and unpredictable–not good qualities when you want to have someone give a reference for you.

      Work on Plan B. All of the day-to-day sanity/coping mechanisms are key, but you really need to be looking bigger picture too. If you are in a bad work situation, you can manage that only so much, but true happiness will come when you get the heck outta there or deal with this person less. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that working with certain people can be right rotten and it’s not worth it if there’s any way to change it.

   8. You are in the same position I was in a couple of years ago. It was a complete and total nightmare. Everything I did was wrong- I would get accusatory e-mails at 11:30 p.m., making false accusations that I had not done something which I had. While a lot of the advice is CYA e-mails and documentation, I’m going to give it to you straight: get out. Either get work from someone else or change firms. If this partner has a bad impression of you and/or is unable to keep track of what he has told you, things are not going to get better, only worse. He will start to not trust you, to take his frustration out on you, and to put you down in front of more clients and colleagues. And honestly, if he eventually gets called out for being wrong (via the CYA letters), you’ll only make things worse. Just get out.

      I got out and I have NEVER looked back. Life is SO MUCH BETTER. I’m sending you lots of luck and good thoughts- this is a difficult situation to deal with.

4. Important question: I am 33 years old, a lawyer, and a married mother of one. I go to bed at 9pm. I like to wear stretchy pants. Can I pull off a Ron Swanson breakfast t shirt? https://www.etsy.com/listing/205116973/ron-swanson-breakfast-tee?ref=shop_home_active_1

   1. YES. Also, why aren’t you wearing this now???? How long would it take someone to notice this under a suit is the real question. Because that’s a game I would totally play.

      1. +1 You should definitely already own this.

      2. Yes! This sounds like an amazing idea.

   2. YES. 50% of the time, it works every time.

   3. Have to say, this shirt would be totally fine at my office. As are stretchy pants.

   4. Why would anyone wear any other shirt??? [People are idiots, Leslie.]

5. Has anyone tried the washable wool suits from Jones New York? Any feedback on them?

   1. I havent tried washing them because I just got it- but I really like it. I think its a nice think material, good quality and fits me perfect.

   2. I don’t have the full suit but have had a washable wool suiting sheath dress from JNY that has held up very well to regular washing for almost three years now.

   3. I thought they were a great deal for the price (I got pants and jacket for around $125, and I recently picked up the skirt for around $20 to give me another option), but not a super great suit overall. The wool is a little itchy to me (I wear footless tights under the pants in super cold, and Skimmies in normal weather to help decrease the itch factor), and the lack of pockets annoyed me, and I didn’t love that the jacket didn’t have a back vent, because I think it would have looked better with one.

      All that said, I only wear a suit 1-2x per year, and anything else I was finding in that under $150 price point had similar (or worse) downfalls or straight up didn’t fit me, so I think it was a good deal for the price, just not a “great, amazing, super awesome” suit. I probably wouldn’t actually machine wash it except in case of extreme emergency because my washer beats everything up and I’d be concerned the jacket and pants might fade/wear differently.

      I think its worth trying, especially with the sales they are having and return shipping is only $7.50, so that isn’t so bad. And I really like the silk knit short sleeve sweaters for under a suit but still being substantial enough to be ok if you take the jacket off.

   4. Tagging along on the JNY question… how often do they have sale on sale?

      I ordered the washable wool blazer, skirt and pant in black two days ago because the price was just too good and I need a basic suit for occasional meetings. Ok I got a ton of other stuff too. Now looking at the colors, the gray looks pretty good as well. I’m not sure how JNY will fit me though. Should I wait for the black pieces to arrive and get the gray with the next sale on sale, assuming the fit is ok? Or place a second order now with the gray suit, and some dresses I also have my eye on, and pay a second return shipping fee if they don’t work out. With work and a baby I don’t really have time to try them on at a store.

      Maybe the real question is whether I need so much clothes.

      Thanks in advance.

      1. They are closing stores and its not yet clear to me if they are closing for good or if they are going to be online only or only in Macys/Dillard etc.
         They have had one sale after another for weeks on end, with different variations on the sale prices – and I’m willing to bet there will be some kind of “Good Friday/Easter Weekend” sale coming up, so I’d wait until you see if the black one fits, unless you’re willing to chance the 2nd return fee (which is only $7.50, so probably worth it) I personally ordered 2 or 3 different sizes and 3 or 4 different styles and kept what I liked most and returned the rest, because the return charge is $7.50 regardless of how much you return.

         1. Sorry for all the random replies. They are closing stores and online. There’s some buzz that they might get absorbed by Kasper, but JNY will be gone. Buy whatever you want now.

            I just bought the black washable wool suit for under $50 and another suit for $43. At those prices, they aren’t going to be able to keep things in stock.

      2. Just FYI–the gray is actually my favorite. It’s a heathered gray, and I think that best covers that the fabric isn’t the most luxe.

      3. I’m not sure about the answer, but I think that the sale now might be much better than usual. I remember a month or two ago, Kat posted that JNY is having corporate trouble. I worry that they’re going to go out of business, and we’re benefiting from the massive sales now!

         I hope that JNY isn’t collapsing. But I’m enjoying the sales right now! I placed an order a few days ago, and will probably get some more suits and stuff today.

   5. I own several. I really like them. The fabric looks reasonably nice (it’s not $1000 italian wool, but it’s nice), they wear well, and are comfortable. I’ve washed one of mine a couple times, and it comes out great.

      1. Thanks for the feedback …. good point holiday weekend coming up, and $7.50 second return fee isn’t that bad really. I like these “slash and burn” prices and agree, sizes will run out. I only ordered the blazer in 6. Was guessing JNY runs large, but now remembering post partum I also run a bit large. My shoulders are broad so I might need 8 or 10. And I’m in Texas, so the heathered gray may be more weather appropriate once it gets hot. I’m assuming the washable wool is an all-season wool, is it?

         There are 3 patterned dresses that I like, a black and white, a orange and white, and a floral pattern. These weren’t sale on sale, so I could probably wait on those.

         My order from two days ago is still marked as “processing” so might not get here until after holiday weekend.

         1. Also, if you place 2 separate orders and the second shipment arrives before the return deadline for the first, you can ship all returns together for 1 return shipment fee of $7.50. I’ve never done that with JNY, but I’ve done it with other stores that charge for return shipping. The shipping fee is usually based on use of the return label (so if you paid your own postage, you wouldn’t get charged any return fee), so if you can fit everything into 1 box and only use 1 return label, you’d only pay 1 return shipping fee.

6. Has anyone ever purchased cashmere sweaters from Eric Bompard? How does the sizing run? I think this is a French company, so may run small? I’ve heard the quality is excellent – hold up really well, no pilling. After spending lots of $ on sweaters from J. Crew and the like that have disappointed, I’m ready to try something else!

   1. I’ve also been searching for better quality. Thanks for posting this.

   2. I’ve never tried their sweaters, so I can’t speak to sizing, but I do have an Eric Bompard cashmere scarf that I bought in Paris a few years ago and has held up so beautifully. I wear it all the time. You’ve inspired me to check out the website and investigate sweaters–I am also so over shelling out a decent amount of money for pilling, thin, cashmere.

   3. Lord and Taylor has better quality cashmere at a reasonable price than JCrew, and if you want to be way splurgy, Brora. Always check how “twisted” the thread is. If it feels really soft and fuzzy at the get-go, it will pill more. If it feels more smooth, then likely will pill less. All cashmere will pill to some degree though.

   4. Eric Bompard is pretty much the only place I buy cashmere any more. The sizing does run slightly small, but they give very accurate dimensions of each size on the product pages. Measure a sweater you already own and compare it with their charts. I can tell you that the “Hug” collection runs the smallest while the core pieces are a bit roomier. Oh, and their sales are usually very good!

7. I like the April Fools posts but I think using affiliate links is a little tacky when you’re mocking something.

   1. Eyeroll. Then don’t click.

      1. +1. Plus, I think Kat is mocking the idea of wearing it to work, not the idea of the shirt in general.

   2. Hey gurl, I forgot it was april fool’s day. I’d get this shirt and wear it in a hot second, along with my stunning collection of Ruth Bader Ginsburg fan t-shirts. I, for one, am very glad it has been brought to my attention.

      1. You mean Notorious RBG??

         1. Of course!

      2. I honestly would wear this shirt, too… it was already sold out when i got here :(

   3. I feel like this company is happy with the publicity. They’re not making shirts like this to be taken seriously, although I bet they have serious profits.

      I like your April Fools’ Joke, though! Thanks!

      1. Yes, even bad publicity is good publicity. That stupid striped dress sold out after the color controversy.

         1. +1

   4. It’s a whole line of clothing designed for mocking? Are you worried the designer’s feelings are hurt?

      1. I have a feeling any designer would be happy to accept people’s money for their product, no matter where they linked from or what bloggers were saying about their products.

8. We’re moving our 750 sq ft apartment soon and looking for recommendations for a moving company. We’re not going very far (about 10 blocks), but we have just enough furniture that I’d really rather farm this out. That said, we don’t have high quality furniture, so we’d rather not pay top dollar for the most careful/delicate movers, either. Any suggestions? TIA!

9. I wanted to thank everyone once again for a great recommendation. I bought several Salux cloths as stocking stuffers after someone suggested them here and I got one and loved mine. Then, a couple weeks ago someone suggested the Norwex cloths and woooooow! I haven’t had to use my makeup remover at all and it dries overnight, too! Will be great for travel this weekend. I also got the toothbrush, and, well, never knew my teeth weren’t so clean before (!)

   So, since I’ve been so pleased with such random recommendations, I’m curious, are there any other beauty products people love and swear by that aren’t in a woman’s typical repertoire?

   1. Are the salux cloths textured like those exfoliating gloves of the mid-late 90’s? (you KWIM?)

      Beauty products not ordinarily in a woman’s routine? Coconut oil. For everything: eye makeup remover, stretch marks, dry skin, eczema, hair treatment, (hubs uses it for his beard too)…

      1. Sort of. I’d say it’s like the nylon fibers of a loofah, except instead of webbed they are looped like a towel. Great for lathering up a small amount of soap and for exfoliating (the body, way too rough for the face).

         Yes, I love coconut oil (really I’ll use any oil), too! Ever use it for shaving legs? It’s amazing!

   2. I too LOVE the Salux cloths. But, one question, how does one clean it? Wash it?

      1. In the washing machine, with laundry soap, in a load of towels? Would probably air dry it though.

         1. I just wash it with soap in the shower and let it air dry. I think it would melt if I went the machine route as it’s plastic(?), no? I don’t wash loofahs either… am I just filthy?

            1. I wash my bath gloves (made of nylon) every so often in the washer and they come out just fine. I just throw them in with any cold wash, then air dry.

            2. Nylon melts at 428 deg F. Water boils at 212 deg F. I think you are safe with machine wash warm :)

      2. I’m the poster from a long time who had one Salux for 20+ years. (I did finally replace it. :) ) I wash with towels and hand-dry.

   3. Woah, those Norwex cloths are pricey! Someone catch me up – do they melt years off your face? Why are they so expensive?

      1. This is my question. OK, so they work well, but they’re washcloths. Why $20 apiece?

         1. I got three for I think $25, but yes, still pricey. I like them because I simply get in the shower and wet my face and this rubs all the makeup off- even mascara. What did I do before? Separate eye makeup remover before the shower, then a facewash with a washcloth in the shower to get the day off my face. (I previously used a baby wash cloth, but there was no way I could remove everything with just the washcloth – needed the soap to get the mascara, foundation, sunscreen, etc. all off.) Then when I got out, probably have to get more mascara I missed the first go-around. I like the norwex because it not only gets everything off – in the first go – but also because it doesn’t totally dry up my face/strip it of oils.

            I think if you wear eye makeup like I do or travel (have to bring fewer products and they dry quickly), you’d love them. Maybe it’s not for everyone, but I love it.

      2. I think some (all?) have silver imbedded in the fibers, which give it the antimicrobial/cleaning action it claims.

   4. Does the Norwex completely replace face wash for you or do you just use it for makeup removal and then follow up with your regular face wash?

      1. So I use it only in the shower, and I shower at the end of the day. In the mornings I wash my face like normal, put on sunscreen, makeup, etc. At the end of the day, I work out and use the norwex in the shower after my workout. As I stated above, I no longer need a separate eye makeup remover or a facewash to remove the makeup. After the shower, my face is clean of everything, so I don’t follow up with regular face wash. Then before bed, I will just apply some toner if a few hours have lapsed then moisturizer and normal bedtime routine. I try not to wash my face too many times, but I am breakout-prone so I also am religious about getting all the makeup off. I’ve been using these now for about 10 days or so and have not experienced any breakouts, even though I am now not using facewash where I used to. I think it was always a delicate balance that in my efforts to remove all the makeup, my skin could get easily stripped of the oils, which my skin would then make up for in overproducing. I guess I’m saying that I like stepping out of the shower with my face feeling supple (not taut) but also totally free of makeup. Hope this helps!

10. I am looking for a white button front shirt, as well as white jeans (not to wear together, although, now that I think of it, who knows!). I want both of them to have nice substantial fabric that is 100% not see through. Does anyone own one of these illusive items or is in a position to make a recommendation? Thanks!

    1. Following – another unicorn: white slim ankle pants that are not see-thru.

       1. I bought these exact pants two years ago at Ann Taylor! Of course that doesn’t help you much right now, but yes they do exist.

       2. Got some at LOFT. For all the quality complaints at LOFT, These are substaintal.

    2. I own a pair of J.Crew Factory’s Straight & Narrow Jeans in White – they are from 1 or 2 seasons ago (can’t remember), but hopefully the fabric hasn’t changed. They are very comfortable – soft and not too thick – and opaque as long as I’m wearing nude-for-me knickers. If I’m wearing black ones, you can see them slightly – if I’m wearing nude-for-me, you see nothing (no lines, etc).

       The Straight & Narrow Factory line is equivalent to the Matchstick regular line, for fit purposes.

    3. Be prepared for the fabric to be on the thicker side for both.

       I actually bought white denim at Jcrew a couple years ago that is pretty good (and I still wear/use). I still need to wear nude underwear, but you can’t see the outline of the pockets through the fabric.

       Also have a nice pair of white shorts that I got from Lands End 4-5 years back. You might check there for shirts and pants.

    4. I have this one and although it does require a little touch up with an iron, it is non-see through and fits!

       Ralph Lauren Women Slim Fit Striped Oxford Pony Logo Shirt

       I’ve bought a few at the outlet for less than $50, but they sell them everywhere.

       1. http://www.amazon.com/Ralph-Lauren-Women-Striped-Oxford/dp/B00IPRFRSU

    5. I was recently looking for white skinny jeans and I had great luck with the J.Brand high rise ones – I think they’re called the Maria. They’re actually not that high rise and they were comfortable and opaque.

       I had to try on about 12 pairs but these were the best.

    6. I have some J Crew white jeans. They are fairly thick and not see-through (although I can’t remember whether you can see the pockets or not). Either the matchstick or the toothpick.

    7. I have white jeans from Loft and they are very nice, plenty opaque. A couple of years ago I got some white pants from White House Black Market and they were opaque, too.

    8. I just bought a shirt from Charles Tyrwhitt that is awesome. Their shirts are a little boxy (not bad, but not super-fitted). It’s great quality, nice cotton. Whenever you need nicer shirts, you should always look to UK shirtmakers like TM Lewin or Tyrwhitt or Pink.

       http://www.ctshirts.com/womenswear/White-twill-non–iron-shirt?q=usddefault||wr056wht|||||||||||||

    9. I have white AG jeans from Anthropologie – last year or previous? – that are substantial enough for colored undies underneath (really!).

    10. Nordstrom rack has 100% cotton white button down shirts from a company called “English Laundry” that have pretty substantial fabric. And they’re like $30!

    11. Kut From The Kloth has had excellent white denim the last few summers.

11. I’m looking to move out of my apartment of 3 years at the end of my lease. I’m hoping to upgrade just a tad (maybe somewhere I can’t hear my neighbor snoring through the wall) but because this is NYC I’m trying to minimize how much money gets thrown away on the broker’s fee. I’ve read that the rare no fee apartments are likely to have hidden problems which is why the landlord is will to pay the fee. Anyone have any advice or experience with this?

    1. Do you have a friend moving out of an apartment that you could move into so the landlord would be happy to not have to advertise or show the unit?

       1. Sadly not that I know of but maybe I’ll put out some feelers on facebook…

    2. First, I’d look at buildings run by management companies (you often don’t have to pay a fee there). And look in places that you would not ordinarily think of as a desirable place to live (i.e., midtown versus UES, etc.) because the prices are a little better. I had good luck with a managed building in NYC (Roseland Properties) and I lived there for about 4.5 years.

       I just moved and our broker cut our fee to 1 months rent (versus the 15% of annual rent that it usually is). He was with a big real estate company so it’s not something that he’s ordinarily allowed to do, but he was willing to work with us because he was able to show and rent the apartment very quickly and we had to compromise with the date that we took the apartment (about 2 weeks earlier than we wanted). To find our current place I looked at broker’s websites for new listings.

       Hope that helps – I was stressed about finding a place, paying to much in fees, etc. I justified a brokers fee to myself by saying that if we lived somewhere for more than 1 year it was worth it.

       1. Yeah, I feel okay about the fee I paid for my current place since I’ve been there so long NOW and I was in a rush at the time. But I was pretty irritated at the time to find that the building owner also owned the ‘broker’ and so I was really just paying the same person the rent and the fee. For about 4 hours of work, since I put a deposit down that same day we looked.

          1. Yeah, that’s just how it’s done in NYC. The broker may have showed the apartment to 100 other people before you walked in. Really, it’s about the apartment, not the client. But that’s the reason I think it’s ridiculous–they’re basically an agent of the owner and yet the leasee is paying them. Also, I love the % creep–standard used to be one month…then 10%…then 12%…now 12-15%??

       2. +1 to management company. Almost all management companies are no fee. I’ve been happy in a manhattan skyline building for 4+ years, and ther are other companies as well.

    3. Every good apartment I’ve had in this city in 24 years I paid a broker’s fee. The two crappy apartments were no fee. It’s not a good sample size, but I’m convinced that it’s worth it.

       You can negotiate the fee, though. I’ve always knocked it down to one month’s rent by paying it in cash.

       1. Oh, that is interesting. I wouldn’t have thought to offer cash for a discount. Thanks!

    4. We found our apartment on streeteasy and while we didn’t use a broker, had to pay the 15% as it was a great apartment and it was part of the transaction cost.

       I have used a broker that I really like and he’s helped a few friends find places in NYC.

       Broker fee places aren’t always better, but sometimes you just have to factor that into the “rental price”

    5. Not all no fee apts are bad. We got one and are quite happy with it. I think brokers show our bldg, too, so there are tenants who paid fees, too. Look on the management company websites. It’s definitely doable to avoid the fee.

       1. We did this. You can find the buildings by searching street easy for no fee apartments. We also just walked around the neighborhood we wanted to live in (Midtown West) and walking into apartment buildings we were interested in. Sounds weird but we ended up in an apartment we found randomly, and we love it.

12. Hive help!

    I need to clear my head and want to take a solo day trip somewhere on Friday. Requirements/preferences: (1) few people/no crowds (aka maybe somewhere it’s off-season); (2) body of water (lake, ocean, river, stream, whatever); (3) something interesting to see/do (funky museums, weird collections of stuff, wild animals that are not contained, etc.); (4) no more than 3 hours from Harrisburg, PA; (5) one place that is not fast food/chainy to eat; and (6) a new-to-me place (not Frederick, Annapolis, Baltimore, Philly, Atlantic City, DC, Pittsburgh, Gettsyburg). I am fine indoors or out and will dress for whatever weather happens to occur.

    Thank you in advance!!

    1. Nemacolin?

    2. This may not be quite what you’re going for, but I’m a hiker so you get hiking recommendations :)

       1. Hawk Mountain Sanctuary and the adjoining sections of the Appalachian Trail – 1 hr. Predatory bird migrations in the fall – check for spring, maybe they are going the other way?. I’m not familiar with the surrounding area, so can’t comment on restaurants.

       2. Northern Monongahela Valley WV – 3.5 hours, but SO worth it
       a. Canaan Valley – ski area, great hiking in summer, a few cute restaurants
       b. Seneca Rocks – amazing rock formation, quick/strenuous hike. not much else there.

       3. Laurel Highlands, PA – 3 hrs — cross country ski and snowshoeing area that doubles as light hiking. Had my first Yuengling at a tiny restaurant nearby, before they expanded their distribution. So definitely some good places to eat/drink.

       You could also check out the northern bits of Shenandoah / George Washington National Parks in Virginia and combine with some wine tasting? I’ve done this in SW VA and really loved it, just can’t recommend a specific area closer to you.

       1. Seconding Laurel Highlands and Nemacolin. Also Raystown Lake.

       2. Yes to Laurel Highlands. You could go to Fallingwater!

    3. New Hope, PA or Lambertville, NJ, maybe? I would say Rickett’s Glen, but it’s nicer when it’s nice out and I think they were reconstructing the beach. Not sure if it’s done.

    4. Milford PA?

    5. Berkeley Springs, WV? Check out the state park and related historical stuff, stroll main street, maybe get a massage? And their should be hiking nearby.

       1. plus the mineral baths. and there’s a great spa if you like that stuff.

    6. With the caveat that I haven’t been there in more than 15 years, maybe Havre de Grace, MD on the Chesapeake Bay, or a simliar small town on the Maryland/Delaware border? Small town, last time I was there it was popular for antiquing and walking along the bay on the promenade or near the lighthouse.

       http://www.explorehavredegrace.com/

    7. State college/bellefonte PA, Bethlehem, PA (Main street is very nice now). Although those aren’t really on the water. There are many towns along the eastern shore in MD but they are very quiet in the off-season (St. Michaels MD is very popular). I can go to annapolis again and again though, so I’d go there. If you’ve only been for the naval base tour and other historic things, I would go there again and check out more restaurants, take long walks, take a boat ride. There’s a ton to do.

    8. It’s about 3.5 hours, but what about Ithaca? It’s GORGES! (sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

    9. Rehoboth Beach, DE. It should still be pretty quiet this early in the year. I’ve been there in March (not early April), and it was still relatively deserted. There’s a boardwalk along the beach, and a few state parks with hiking/biking trails and birds. Restaurants tend to be open on weekends, even in off season. Almost nothing in downtown Rehoboth is a chain. Google maps says it’s a 3.5 hour drive from Harrisburg. If you wanted to spend the night, there are a few hotels along the beach. There are also less expensive chain hotels on the highway heading out of town.

    10. Thank you for all the suggestions everyone! I have lots to look into. :)

    11. Deep Creek Lake in Maryland (not sure of the driving distance)

    12. Nashville!!!

        1. Oh how I would love for this to be a day trip for me!

    13. Cook Forest, PA. It’s gorgeous there any time of the year. The Clarion River runs through the state park area and is one of my favorite places to just sit and think. There are lots of hiking trails (pick up a map at the park office), cabins for rent, and at this time of year, things are still pretty quiet. There are a few wineries in the area, and a few off-the-beaten-path places to eat (though what’s open before Memorial Day may vary). The best pizza place I know of is Vince’s in Leeper (Great food, lousy parking — it’s a biker bar, but the food is fantastic!) Check out cookforest.com for places to go. Trust me, you will find your sanity in those mountains!

13. I don’t know how you feel about historic places, but here’s a few suggestions in MD – Hagerstown, Cumberland, Chestertown, maybe possibly even Cambridge even though it’s about 3 hours away, give or take some for traffic…

    ETA: for CountC above

    1. Frederick MD is also nice.

14. Hello hive, I’m looking for a financial adviser in the Denver or south Denver / DTC area. Specifically want someone who is fee based, non-commissioned (not sure of the technical terminology, but I mean someone I can pay an hourly rate to on an annual or as needed basis) for some fairly basic advice/strategies. Would love any recommendations for someone great!

15. Help! Trying to help my BF decide what to wear to a wedding later in the month. I asked the groom, whom I’m friends with, what other men attending will wear, and he replied: “I’d say somewhere between cocktail attire and suits? You and [BF] should feel comfortable wearing whatever, we’re not aiming for super fancy…”

    What is cocktail attire for men? What does this mean?

    Fwiw, I am going to be wearing an lbd, I think. I wish they had just specified some kind of attire in the invite, but…

    1. Cocktail for men is usually suits (but not a tuxedo). Maybe some interpret it as nice slacks, shirt, tie and sweater?

    2. I would have my SO just wear a suit. If he feels overdressed, he can lose the jacket and loosen his tie, which has the side effect of being one of the se*iest things men can wear ;)

       1. :D I like this plan.

    3. I would think cocktail attire for men is a suit, so I don’t know what the groom is thinking… either that cocktail attire is a tux, or that cocktail attire is somehow more casual than a suit? But for any wedding a suit is pretty much standard for men, unless it’s on a beach or a farm or something, or if black tie is specified.

       Most wedding invitations will not specify attire, you have to figure it out by when and where it is.

    4. Might depend on where in the country you are? On the West Coast, I would interpret cocktail attire for men as a suit, probably without a tie. To me, “somewhere between cocktail attire and suits” makes the suit with no tie a very safe bet but it may be different where you are.

    5. Suit without a tie?

    6. He should just wear a suit and tie, because he is an adult. This really isn’t hard.

       1. Ugh, go home. Some weddings are more of a khakis and blazer thing and some are black tie. Why all the snark? Being civil on the internet really isn’t hard.

       2. Thanks Batgirl. This is only the second wedding I am attending as an adult and I’m (obviously) not on top of the social etiquette, especially as far as men’s clothing is concerned… which is why I ask the people here, who are, for advice. BF would show up wearing jeans and a v-neck if I didn’t tell him what he should wear.

16. Need tips on finding a bathing suit that works well with love handles. I’m not looking for a one piece- I’m comfortable that I can pull off a bikini, just one that fits me appropriately. I’m a size 4 but feel like ALL of the fat on my body accumulates at my love handles. The super low rise bottoms at victoria’s secret don’t work for me and I don’t really know where else to shop for affordable bathing suits. TIA!

    1. Lands End. Seriously. Bottoms that have a wider waist band, maybe a foldover at the waistband?

    2. As a fellow thin but pear-shaped/hippier person, I totally empathize! I look for bikini bottoms with a thicker/foldover waistband; the thicker band minimizes the “muffin top” effect.

       Something like this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tommy-bahama-pearl-high-waist-bikini-bottoms-upf-50/3829738?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=Mare&resultback=400

       Or this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tommy-bahama-stripe-bikini-bottoms/3912289?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=&resultback=4200

       If you look hard enough, you can find these styles pretty much anywhere: LOFT, Aerie, Roxy, Old Navy, Lands End, etc.

    3. Target also has a lot of bathing suits right now.

    4. Some problems we solve with clothing. Others, we solve by just getting over it. Is your vagina covered? Your bathing suit looks fine.

       1. Well, exposed vulva. An exposed vagina means you have bigger problems.

       2. Well, a covered v u l v a anyway. An exposed v agina means you have bigger problems.

          1. You win today. I just snorted in the waiting room of a doctor’s office and now I’m getting strange looks.

    5. ASOS has a huge selection of bikini separates, so you can choose the top & bottom that work for you. I love a good high waist bikini. Very retro cool.

       1. Also try modcloth for a variety of retro style bikinis.

    6. Athleta has nice suits in a variety of shapes. You can also mix/match sizes – I tend to go up a size if I feel like the sides are cutting in, etc.

    7. Seems crazy, but a string bikini bottom might be a good option. Because it’s adjustable, it won’t cut in.

17. Can anyone recommend a real estate agent in DC who can help us find a 2 bed/3 bed RENTAL (don’t want to buy) in Woodley Park/Tenleytown area? We are moving from out of state and don’t know the area well. Thanks!

    1. Tiernan Dickens is wonderful – TDickens@EversCo.com but I am not sure if he does rentals. He may be able to point you to someone who does though.

       The woodley/tenley area is so small though I dont think you need someone who knows the area well- you should be able to figure it out on the basis of a map, craigslist etc. as long as you are able to visit

    2. Kathryn Wardenski at Long & Foster. I recently moved to DC from out-of-town and worked with her to find a 2bedroom rental – I was only in town for two days before I moved and she pulled together a lot of great options. Kathryn.Wardenski @ Long And Foster . com (no spaces).

18. Anyone have suggestions on how to word a thank you email after an interview where you think you they have come away with the impression that you are missing a certain area of experience, and that this is true, you don’t have that experience in that area, but that you are willing to learn? I’m struggling with how to make it not sound … bad.

    1. Honestly? If I’m interviewing you, I’ve either decided based on what you told me that (1) you lack certain experience, and for that reason, we can’t offer you the position, or (2) you lack certain experience, but based on what I’ve learned during the interview, I’m willing to overlook it because XYZ. Nothing that you put in a subsequent thank you note will change this.

19. And if anyone prefers Mr. Franco to Mr. Gosling, he is also an option. Also, socks!

    modcloth.com/shop/graphic-tees/to-be-franco-tee

    modcloth.com/shop/tights-socks/crazy-stupid-lovely-socks

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