ByKate Antoniades Hours Updated
Comments 379 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Clean Silk Boatneck Blouse

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Everlane relaunched their silk collection this week with the name Clean Silk and the tagline “More beauty. Less waste.” The company now uses safer dyes and has moved production to a more energy-efficient, LEED-Certified factory. By 2020, they aim to use silk grown from regenerative organic farming, and by 2022, their goal is to use silk dyed and washed with 100% recycled water and 100% renewable energy. (You can find more brands who've made a commitment to sustainability in our Slow Fashion Shopping Guide.) One of the new Clean Silk offerings is this pretty boatneck blouse. It's described as having a square fit — and it seems to look different in each photo, somehow — but I think the front seam breaks it up a bit and helps make it look less boxy (as does the silk itself). The sleeves are described as “voluminous,” but I wouldn't go that far — I think the shape is subtle and a good match for the rest of the top. I like the boatneck, too. The blouse comes in sizes 00–16 in four colors: a light lavender, mustard, black, and white. Note that black is the only option that doesn't appear to be somewhat sheer — so either stick to that for work or wear a camisole. Clean Silk Boatneck Blouse A plus-size option is at Nordstrom. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

379 Comments

  1. I recently took on an executive position and cannot handle as much home stuff anymore. So…I’ve hired a college student for 20 hours a week. She is going to do daycare drop off, but I’m trying to think of other things I can offload right now. The list is currently – grocery shopping, misc errands, some meal planning, light clean up. Anybody have any creative ideas of what you would get off of your plate if you were in my situation?

    1. A few loads of laundry – like kids clothes, towels, bedding, etc. I’d still do my own but would love to offload the rest.

    2. Packing lunches, switching the kids’ summer clothing out of their drawers and putting in fall/winter clothing, packing up hand-me-downs or outgrown items and donating or storing, birthday gift buying (for people in your life and for all the parties kids attend), birthday event planning (for your own events), getting fall sports registrations completed (not sure how old your kids are) and buying needed supplies, changing bed linens, doing the kids’ laundry, emptying daycare bag and packing it up for the next morning, library book management (renewing books, returning books, requesting books–again this may not apply if your kids are very young), dry cleaning pick up and drop off.

      1. PACKING LUNCHES!! YES!! Sorry for yelling. But for some reason this is the hardest thing for me to do, haha. I would love someone else to do this!

    3. Laundry, bed changing, clean out cupboards and reorganize, clean out fridge. And either cooking or chopping/prepping.

    4. Kids laundry for sure. Have her wash, dry and fold their clothes. If timing is an issue, you can put it in the washer at night and she can put it in the dryer when she arrives in the morning.

    5. A few additional ideas: Laundry; storing/sorting kids’ clothes that no longer fit or are out of season; making sure we always have household essentials (toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, etc); packing kid’s lunches (if daycare doesn’t provide meals).

    6. I’d think about some desk based tasks as well – 20 hours of physical labour / errands / cleaning might feel like a lot. Booking holidays, receipts for reimbursements, holiday or gift shopping, online clothes shopping.

      Also, send her to buy 20 birthday cards and an assortment of special occasion cards. Your life will improve dramatically.

    7. Oh gosh… any of my weekday log jams in housework:

      Laundry: folding, putting laundry in washer, moving laundry from washer to dryer. Same for the dishwasher – just making sure it’s loaded/sink is empty and it’s turned on. I’d rather put my own stuff away so it’s in the right place.

      Emptying trash and taking it out, replacing trash bag

      Wiping down counters (no intense cleaning; just a surface wipe with a Lysol wipe daily would bring immense amounts of happiness to my life….)

      Defrosting that night’s meal – how many times have I forgotten to pull the chicken out of the freezer?! – or actually prepping it so it’s grab-and-go when we get home.

      We have a pool. I would love for someone to just remember to dump a gallon of chlorine into the pool on the same day each week. Amazing how hard that is to remember but how simple of a task it is.

      Sweeping falling leaves and crap off the front porch.

      We have a house cleaner, but even vacuuming dog hair (and my hair…) that falls between cleanings would be ENORMOUS.

    8. Emptying the dishwasher? Assuming you run it after dinner each night, it will be so great to be able to just fill it without emptying first when you finish eating at night.

    9. – Research/planning/misc admin-type work (e.g. “find 3 replacement refrigerator options in $x price range with features 1/2/3 and high ratings from Consumer Reports”, “make dinner reservations for 8pm on Friday at ___”).
      – If trustworthy, consider setting up something like LastPass so she can manage rewards accounts/check on your autopay bills/etc.
      – Specific errand ideas: directed shopping for the kid(s) (“3 pairs of shorts in size X, any color but green, around $25/each”), handling returns (package & drop off at UPS store/take back to retailer/whatever)

      1. I just had to laugh at the refrigerator example, ours just died and after extensive research, there is one, ONE, refrigerator manufactured today that will fit in the space in my kitchen for a fridge. No consumer reports, no price checking, no shopping around, etc. My pro tip after this is if you’re doing a kitchen, avoid a counterdepth and do not build a to-spec cabinet around your appliance. In 10+ years when you need a new one, all the specs will change.

        1. OMG, THIS SO MUCH. We just had to redo all the cabinets to fit a new fridge because nothing would fit in the old space unless we got a much smaller fridge! Why aren’t there standard fridge sizes?!

          1. Yes! We had to remove a cabinet that was next to our fridge when our new one was too wide. We could have re-installed it, but we ended up liking the open look it gave and did not really need that cabinet.

    10. Do you know about Fin- it’s a virtual assistant and It might be a way to get some projects off your plate.

    11. I advise against asking her to do any heavy cleaning – that’s a separate job from mother’s helper/assistant.

      1. Agree – we have a regular cleaning lady. This is to handle the other stuff that is falling through the cracks.

    12. My 17 year old daughter did some mother’s helper stuff this summer. She did some childcare but since mom was home and baby was a breastfed newborn, there wasn’t much to do with the baby other than change diapers.

      So she did some laundry (baby’s laundry, household towels, etc). She did meal prep (cutting up veg etc for a recipe the mom had laid out) and then washed everything she’d used to do the prep. She entertained the older child when she got home from preschool (endless games of chutes and ladders and learning the names of each and every preschool classmate) and gave the preschooler an after school snack. She emptied and filled the dishwasher. She put away toys.

      None of this insulted her and she was even slightly bored. I wouldn’t worry too much about what you ask the college student to do. Basically whatever tasks you would do if you weren’t so busy.

    13. Paperwork!!! Clothing returns, car registration, tossing junk mail, organizing bills, updating auto insurance. Also, taking the car in for maintenance, meeting with service people (exterminator, home repairs, landscapers etc.), setting up instacart or other accounts.

    14. I, too, recently hired one of these. Lifesaver! In addition to what’s already been mentioned, I had her organize my linen closet, walk the dog, and sort and organize toys.

      1. There was a nanny group on Facebook. I live in a college town, so there are tons of students looking for part time work.

      2. I did this job. I am pretty certain I found the job through a flyer put up around campus. I know they got several applicants that way. Then, after I couldn’t do it anymore and several of my sorority sisters had filled in successfully on specific days, it became a situation where the family just hired through my sorority every year.

    16. Just having someone pick up the living room and play room makes my day so much better. Like clockwork, my nanny has the kids help pick up their toys at 6pm and they play outside until we get home. I’m less worried about clean and more worried about stepping on a Lego.

      I agree, keep it kid-centric. My kids are a bit older and they can do their laundry with supervision, but we have always had a kid laundry basket. Ask her to pack lunches, set out a recipe to prep (just ensuring the crockpot is on is a big deal for me!)

      My nanny also keeps a calendar for the kids which is a HUGE help. (Spelling test on Thursday, field trip on Tuesday, Permission slips due on Friday, etc.) If PTA needs cupcakes, she will bake them with the kids and have them boxed up for the next morning.

    17. Have her sift through the fridge and pantry to toss expired items. Purchase replacements or add them to the instacart. Also have her check laundry detergent, dishwasher tabs, garbage bags, hand soaps and replace as they empty.

      Bento-box style meal prep and snack prep. I would die for someone else to stock my fridge with healthy grab and go options.

      Tidy up cabinets, linen closets, the fridge, etc. Clear off surfaces so the house cleaner can get a deep clean. Contain all of the art/notes/etc that comes home from daycare in dedicated bins. Bring in all the random odds/ends from the car and dispose of the trash. Run the roomba and move it between floors/rooms.

    18. Amazon returns, shopping, make dinner, make beds, laundry. Youre gonna love this.

  2. Apologies for initial TJ.

    I’m officially an old this year… 60. I do take Synthroid and Premarin.

    I’ve been taking viviscal for about 9 months for thinning hair. I really do have new hair growing in my front hairline … places which were long ago abandoned.

    However, I’ve started hearing and reading about collagen. I’m wondering if anyone here in the hive has used both Viviscal and collagen supplements.

    I’m thinking I really need collagen: hands looking old, massive cellulite last two years, used to have long and strong nails and now they peel and nick all.the.time, and there’s no elasticity nor bounce-back in my skin period.

    Thoughts and experiences as well as brand ideas appreciate. I’ve been looking at some of the little tubes you pour into a hot drink…?

    TIA

    1. I don’t know about collagen, but I will say that the Nature’s Bounty gummies with Biotin for Hair, Skin and Nails (from Costco) have made a definite difference in my nails.

    2. There is little to no evidence suggesting ingesting collagen helps with your skin/nails except to the degree that increased protein in your diet does — so increasing protein overall helps, collagen supplements don’t “target” your skin/nails. I use collagen peptides in my coffee and I like them to up my protein intake, but that’s really the only reason.

      I’d look in to biotin and maybe a topical for hydration as well (oil, hyaluronic acid, etc.)

      1. Thanks you! I was looking for evidence (being a scientist myself) and couldn’t find any evidence. Thanks for saving me money! Appreciate it.

        1. More evidence: I asked my nutritionist about taking collagen given that I have a disorder that affects my ability to produce collagen. She explained that, as others have posted, your body will metabolize whatever you ingest and then synthesize collagen from there. Eating collagen supplements helps insofar as it provides your body with the right building blocks, but you could just as easily do this through getting those building blocks in your diet in other ways. The collagen you ingest certainly wouldn’t directly translate to your tissues.

    3. I’ve heard from several people that collagen helped their joint problems, and that they saw a bit of skin improvement as a happy side effect. I don’t know anyone who sought it out specifically for skin, though.

      Have you considered whether your Synthroid is fully doing its job? You may need your dosage tweaked. Also, some people don’t thrive on artificial thyroid meds, despite getting good numbers during bloodwork. Switching to natural thyroid meds may be worth a try, since they contain both T3 and T4. Levothyroxine only contains T4.

    4. I am around your age. Rogain foam for women around my hairline has made a huge difference for me. Takes about 4 or 5 months to kick in but really works.

      For body I do weight machines at the gym 4x week and the elipictical which also tones my legs. Cellulite is more obvious due to loss of muscle with age. Build the muscle back.

      I use lasers at the dermatologist on my hands and neck to get rid of brown spots. For weight control I do intermittent fasting only eating between 12pm and 8pm. Collagen did nothing for me but you can get restalyn injected into your hands to smooth over the veiny appearance. I don’t care enough to all that. It sounds vane but keeping up my appearance makes me happy and I can afford it so why not.

    5. Collagen can be synthesized by your body, and is, every day. Eating collagen will not make any changes. Healthy diet will include building blocks your body needs to synthesize collagen – as long as you eat enough protein. For skin, dermatologists recommend retinol and AHA’s BHA’s.

    6. Duri rejuvacote saved my peeling, splitting nails. I never had long nails until I found this product, but now I have to clipa nd file them once a week. You can buy it on Amazon for about $8.

  3. In the past, you all have been helpful for book recommendations for girls with ADHD. Do you have any for anxiety? We agree with the ADHD diagnosis, but lately we’ve been seeing a lot of manifestations of what seems to be anxiety. And we’re heading into the tween years, early puberty has started, so it’s a sensitive time all around.

    Our pediatrician notes that they are often co-morbid, especially if there is any family history (which there is: my husband and his immediate family all seem to have some issues in this department that they seem to either self-medicate for (doing things like using Ambien recreationally, binging, becoming Emily-Dickinson-like recluses)). They suffer a lot and then they seem to suffer again from shame at what they do to cope. I don’t want that for my daughter.

    In light of what I anticipate will be some family resistance (just going over the psychiatrist checklist of symptoms and family history has been met with defensiveness), are there any good books out there that would be helpful to read?

    My personal take on this is that things like yoga, being out in nature, swimming, and unplugging from screens will all be helpful in general. But from seeing others deal with the struggles, I feel like I need to be better informed (and I’ll definitely discuss with the ped/psychologist who does testing, but they only have so much time for general parent discussion and background education). Also, FWIW, we stopped ADHD meds b/c they seemed to ramp up the anxiety symptoms (but they are still there, after a month off)(academics / classroom disruptions weren’t ever a problem).

    1. Not specific to girls, but I’m currently reading “Calming Your Anxious Child” by Kathleen Trainor. Each section deals with a different type of anxiety, including case studies and strategies for managing anxious thoughts/feelings.
      Not exactly what you’re asking for, but related and helpful if your daughter is older, is “Untangled” by Lisa Damour.

      1. OP here — Untangled is great. I read it in fits and starts and need to reread (probably an ongoing task, like my perpetual reread of How to Talk so Kids will Listen . . .). Thanks!

    2. Good call on stopping the ADHD meds. I have both ADHD and anxiety and the meds made my anxiety 100% worse. Despite that, I stayed on them for ~5 years and now really regret it.

      As far as treating anxiety goes, I have found cognitive behavioral therapy to be very helpful. It helps me reframe my internal thoughts in a way that eases my anxiety. Too much emphasis on mindfulness was not especially helpful for me, but I understand some people find it very helpful, so it’s a very personal question.

      2. A third vote for stopping the ADHD meds. My teen daughter’s anxiety went through the roof when she was on Vyvanse.

    3. Depending on her level of anxiety, Claire Weekes’ books, while dated, have been enormously helpful to me. I’ve had GAD and panic attacks since I was a teenager.

    4. Second CBT and spending time in nature. Also strictly limit electronics and social media, which are tied to anxiety in all adolescents.

    5. My nephew, now age 25, suffered from “social anxiety” as an early teen. His parents had access to free therapist through their work and he saw a therapist for awhile. It gave him someone totally disconnected from family to talk to, and he thought it very helpful. He also listened to some specific podcasts/music to help him through anxiety. (He has now served four years in Marine infantry, including a stint in Afghanistan, and is studying English and Italian at our state university!) I think he will always be more of an introvert (he got that from me), but he is very content with himself and his life now.

      1. Any podcasts recommended for anxiety? I myself would find this helpful.

    6. I have ADHD and anxiety. There are non-stimulant medication alternatives (Strattera, Wellbutrin) to look into. ADHD minds don’t always find the same things calming, so don’t be amazed if yoga/meditation type things backfire. CBT can be helpful for anxiety that’s situational or that involves thoughts or worries, and I imagine most teens have some anxiety of this kind.

    7. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), combined with individual therapy, can be really helpful and is very focused on learning & applying skills. I was older than your daughter when diagnosed (was in grad school), but DBT made a huge difference. I wish I’d had the chance to learn those skills early in life!

    8. For CBT the book “Retrain your Brain” by Gillihan is good along with “Mind over Mood” by Greenburger.

    9. I don’t know how old your kids are, but I read “When Panic Attacks” in grad school for my own anxiety and it helped SO much. If this is a book that you could read and impart some of that wisdom on to your kids, I think it would be helpful. Journaling can be helpful too, I also did a lot of creative writing when I was a kid and I think that really helped my anxiety.

  4. I know many of us here are AAM readers, and I was dying at one of today’s questions — is it unprofessional to bring your own beverage to an external meeting?

    I’m shocked this is a thing people worry about! (Though perhaps I shouldn’t be, after reading this page for so long!) I carry drinks around the office literally every day, including to internal and external meetings with folks I’d consider VIPs. I’ve even brought my reusable cup to job interviews. No question here – just cracking up this morning.

    Happy Wednesday!

    1. I am 100% with you. My one caveat is that if I have a meeting at my office with clients, I won’t bring a beverage in that is clearly nicer than what our firm offers clients. So I won’t bring my coffee shop coffee in (if it is in a coffee shop cup that gives it away – reusable tumbler would be different). I always bring my own water bottle in. If I’m having my own tea, I will always offer some to the clients (I tend to leave my tea bag in the whole time so it is obvious). Lots of clients bring their own water bottles, etc.

    2. Lol that’s ridiculous. I think maybe it would be unprofessional if you show up late to a meeting with a fresh Starbucks. But bringing my own cup of coffee? No way.

    3. I don’t think it is professional to show up at an interview with your beverage actually. I mean if it just stays in your bag sure but not out.

      1. I mean, I wouldn’t show up with some goofy frappuccino or something unusual, but I wouldn’t blink if someone brought a basic coffee or water to an interview. Whether I’m the one being interviewed or conducting the interview, I get thirsty when I talk. I wouldn’t hold that against someone.

        1. I wouldn’t do it only because it may be hard to hold your bag and/or coat, coffee and shake hands. And what if you spill? Maybe I get nervous too much, but I can see trying to pull out a writing sample or something and spilling.

          I do love to bring coffee to meetings though. It gives me something to do with my hands and just generally acts as a helpful crutch.

        2. Laughing at the idea of showing up to a meeting with a Unicorn Frappucino. I read this too – was shocked that it was even a question!

    4. I don’t drink coffee, I drink diet mountain dew, which is an obnoxious color. I think it would look . . . off . . . to show up with a DMD in a bottle or can and drink from that.

      Somehow, it is OK for the coffee people to show up with a Starbucks cup. Or something in a travel mug / other reusable opaque container.

      I think my DMD would be OK if I put it in similar things (which I often do, b/c I really love them over crushed ice).

      But this is way overthinking it. I wouldn’t do it at an interview or client meeting (perhaps there is an exception for “I just got in from the airport and just needed caffeine”).

      1. I have been to tons of meetings where people bring in their soda of choice (including DMD). It’s not unprofessional. But if you’re the host, I think you need to be prepared to offer some to others if is obvious.

      2. I think you’re probably right, that people would look askance and consider it ‘unprofessional’. But I suspect it’s ultimately because of class sterotypes about the typical ‘dew drinker and latte drinker. What a sad society we live in, sometimes.

        1. I get a lot of comments, like drinking DMD totally misses the point of the jolt the sugar gives you. [Never mind the decaf DMD I’d drink when I was pregnant.] Haters gonna hate.

        2. Yeah, in an above comment, the poster was making the distinction between normal coffee (professional) and frappuchino (judgeworty). I mean, come on!

          1. That was me – and even as I typed it, I wasn’t sure why I was making a distinction. I guess because a drink with whipped cream and chocolate drizzles and sprinkles and all that seems really high maintenance (particularly if we’re talking about an interview setting or a high level meeting where the goal is to impress).

            Re: not bringing a drink because of an expectation someone will offer you one, I work in gov’t so you’re really lucky if there’s a water cooler AND cups available (bottled water “for the office” is not a thing). There’s no expectation you’ll get offered a drink, and I’d rather bring my own and not risk it.

      3. I also drink DMD instead of coffee – I once had a British boss ask me after a year of working together which electrolyte/vitamin packets I was putting in my water, which I thought was great. And yes, over crushed ice is the best!

    5. Just don’t carry it in your Birkin bag and you’re fine.

      The things people worry about.

        1. Well now I’m imagining someone sitting down in a deposition or something and putting their Birkin on the table and then pulling out like a Takeya cup or another travel mug…..and laughing.

    6. It seems the really startle people (like- throw them off their game a little) when I carry a lid-less coffee cup downstairs. It’s weird what people fixate on?

    7. That made me laugh too and I thought it sounded like something someone would ask here. (Are ponytails professional?)

    8. External or internal meeting ok. Interview not ok. I would be taken aback if someone brought their own beverage to an interview – we offer them a beverage when they arrive, usually water.

      1. Disagree. A bottle of water is completely appropriate. Not every company/organization provides beverages. I recently had a 2 hours interview and it was hot outside – I was very happy I had a bottle of water with me or I would have either been very thirsty or had to excuse myself to get water.

    9. I just went through a bunch of executive meetings with my coffee in my reusable storm trooper mug…. so thats where I fall on this issue.

      1. From where does such a mug originate because I think that’s the most important question in this thread clearly.

        1. It is a tervis tumbler – one of the double walled plastic ones. Mine is 32 (??) Oz and has a giant storm trooper face on it.

        1. Have you seen the heat responsive mugs that change from “I swear I am up to no good” to “Mischief managed”? This reminds me that I should add that to my wish list for gifts…..

    10. Oh, they are incredibly hysterical over there over nothing. I don’t know that I’d bring a Starbucks coffee to a job interview (just because I’d spill it on myself), or perhaps to a first meeting with a client, but it’s normal to walk around with a Starbucks or similar coffee (whether disposable or your own mug).

      And they are incredibly two-faced over the whole “judging the frappucino vs the coffee.” Any other thread about food in the office, and they get sanctimonious about judging people for eating daily McDonald’s. On one hand one shouldn’t judge someone for eating daily Big Macs as opposed to salads because their food consumption is None of Your Business (which I agree it is) but all of a sudden it’s ok to judge someone because they ordered a Frappucino instead of a regular coffee? Spare me.

      I think the only time a Starbucks comes across as “off” is if you are late for a meeting and you carry a SBX in, which indicates that despite running late, you still had to stop in and get your darn coffee. Otherwise .. who cares?

  5. Looking for reassurance that starting a new career at 30+ still gives a person plenty of time to climb the ladder and start a family. I’m basically planning to take the Chandler Bing route (except not in advertising). Hit with me with your best anecdata!

    1. so many of my friends from law school started school when they were 30+ (and had careers before law). we are only 4 years out so i cant really speak to “moving up” but they are thriving in their new careers!

      1. I graduated law school at 28 and while it took me some time afterwards to figure out exactly what I wanted to do, I have been promoted in my legal-adjacent career and have had no issue proving my work and moving up.

    2. Really depends on the industry and how far over 30 you are, I think. Starting as a first year associate in biglaw in your late mid to late 30’s would not really give you “plenty of time to climb the ladder.” But starting very close to 30 would probably be fine.

      1. I went to law school at 50, and have No Interest in biglaw. It works. Find your jam and go for it!

    3. You have 30 years left in your working life. You’ve got time to have a couple more careers if you really wanted. As far as kids go – I think that’s independent of the career side. I figure grass is always green when it comes to determining the “idea”l timing to have kids. The only ideal time is when you have a partner you trust. The rest you just have to make work.

    4. I entered law school at 34, and at 39 am a third year at a biglaw firm. Don’t regret it one bit.

    5. I started my “real” career at 29. It took me that long to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after a lot of trial and error. I do feel behind my peers, because I don’t make as much money and it will take me longer to feel settled. But I’ve climbed the ladder quickly – I’m 33 now and making twice what I did two years ago.

    6. I started my career at age 31 (financial industry lawyer) and have quickly moved up. I’ve likely moved up much faster than I would have if I’d started when I was younger. It’s helpful to not have to worry about looking too young, and I am much more poised and strategic than I would have been in my 20s.

    7. Do it! Life is long. I completely changed careers at 30. Graduate school followed by a job just above entry level in my new field. Steady promotions over the last decade; had a kid along the way. I am so happy with my path and can’t even imagine how miserable I would be if I had stayed where I was. Go for it!

    8. I am doing that right now! I’m doing a one year masters program to make a major career change. I was so scared that no one would want to hire me but actually I ended up getting a great job offer already, halfway through the program. I think the key is to really focus on networking and also to try not to let the age difference get to you. Being a little older than the average entry level candidate can be really helpful – you’ve got all the soft skills that early 20-somethings are still figuring out.

      The one thing I’m really struggling with is how this will affect the timing of having kids. We had been trying unsuccessfully for a year before my career change and stopped once I started this program. If all goes well at the new job I hope to start trying again after about 6 months, but I’m stressed out about the potential for an early pregnancy to hold me back in my new career.

    9. Law is my second career. Had a baby at 38, became a lawyer at 41 and am now a partner. Nobody needs to know exactly how old you are.

    10. I started in public accounting a month before I turned 29. It was fine. There were people of all ages at different levels, including a guy who had worked at best buy for years before going back to school to become an accountant in his late 30s/early 40s. It’s totally doable.

    11. A former law partner started law school after four years in the military and 15 years as a farmer. He did great!

    12. I did not start a career at 30 but moved across the country with my husband a few times which felt a bit like starting over. It always works out. You will do well!

    13. I graduated from professional school the year I turned 30, had three kids in six years and was promoted to the next major level in my job ahead of schedule in that same timeframe. Similar to previous poster, I am poised, confident, and strategic in my career in a way I wouldn’t have been in my 20s and I think it’s helped me “catch up” quite a bit in terms of an objective timetable or career ladder.

      You can do it!

    14. I graduated from law school at 30 and left private practice for an entirely new career (still legal) in government 12 years later, still going strong and gonna be 60 this year. Oh, and found time for a child and three husbands!

      As somebody said above, life and careers are long!

    16. I know someone who became a lawyer at 50 and is now very good at it. Live your life.

    17. Super late to this, but if you’re still reading: I graduated from law school at almost 28 (not that late, really) and after a clerkship and about three years of practice moved to a new city and started in an entirely new and pretty specialized field of law at age 33 – not completely starting over, but close. Ex-H started a new career, in academia after working in nonprofits and activism, at age 36. He did have his Ph.D. already, though.

      You can do this, 30 is young!

  6. I need advice on scheduling a move. It is new construction and the builder said not to schedule the movers for the same day as the closing in case something goes wrong. So how many days DO I wait? Three? a week? I have some leeway because I can stay in my apartment up to 2 weeks, but obviously I’m excited to get in my new home as soon as possible.

    1. You are going to want to book a deep clean after all that construction so put that into your schedule.

      Also are they doing everything? Blind installation/curtains , painting, heating/ac filters, fire/carbon monoxide detector installation, lightbulbs, scotch guarding carpets, hanging pictures/shelves etc might want to put plan a few days for you or a handy person to come do those tasks before you move in.

        1. +1 to blinds (although temporary shades also work). Also consider upgrading from builder grade carpet and using an eggshell paint in high-traffic areas like hallways — most builders use matte because it’s easier for touchups.

    2. When is your walk through, and do you get an early walk through to see/develop a punch list? I would hold up the closing for punch list items, and then allow 3 business days before the movers are scheduled to show up. If you’re all clear for those three days you can start bringing things over in your own car.

      1. yes there is a walk through a full week before the closing for a punch list, and then another the day of. I didn’t even think about needing a cleaning. That’s on the list now!

        1. Get someone to clean who is prepared to do construction cleaning. Drywall dust, new carpet fuzzies, saw dust etc are too much for most vacuums. You will want someone to wipe down the walls, vacuum out the vents, clean up grout dust from the bathroom. This isn’t a normal cleaning job.

    3. Not new construction, but when I was moving from an apartment to a house, I gave the apartment building two weeks notice. My partner was sure we wouldn’t need that much time, but then our closing was delayed a week. We moved 80% of our stuff the day after closing, but then it was so helpful to have the rest of the week to move the last 20% and clean the apartment once it was empty. I’d suggest first talking to the movers about their flexibility in case you do have a delay, but plan for at least a few days.

      1. Hgh. Are they me? Supposed to be done in March. Still not done and our lease ended in June. We’ve been living in a hotel and I’m so over it.

        What is up with all these delays? If I made this many mistakes and caused six months of delays, I’d be fired!

        1. New construction is notoriously bad. If you sign their contracts as-is, you really have no remedies for their bad behavior. Those are very builder favorable contracts.

    5. I would give it the full two weeks, simply to let my new place air out as much as possible from all the new construction materials and the chemicals they are giving off before I had to start living in them. I’m not chemically sensitive, but even so…get me around brand-new construction and the chemicals start to do a number on me — all that new carpet, paint, and everything else.

  7. How many of you who have PT help have workers comp insurance on your helper?

    E.g., if I hire a teacher (real job, workers comp there) as a sitter, I have gotten workers comp ins before if she drives my kid around (and it is expensive! much cheaper if they sit but don’t drive).

    Does anyone else do this (and importantly: has anyone else had to use it)?

    We want to get a second helper b/c our teacher helper is less available when school starts back, but the insurance cost is almost as high as having a second sitter who drives.

    1. Not sure what workers’ comp at a sitter’s other job has to do with whether you buy workers’ comp or why driving matters since plenty of injuries you’d want workers’ como coverage for can happen in the home.

      In California, it’s criminal to fail to procure workers’ comp, so I always maintain it. Also, if there’s some horrible accident, I want to make sure there’s coverage for the bills that’s not my retirement fund.

      For individuals driving their own cars, I also buy non-owned vehicle liability insurance.

    2. We have a nanny that is part-time during the school year (about 12 hours a week), and I have workers’ comp insurance on her. She works in my home. I understand it to be the law in my state.

    3. This is really state dependent and often varies depending on how many hours they are working and how much you pay. You need to research your own state. For example, in mine you have to have w/c insurance for a employee providing childcare in your home if they work more than 52 hours in a quarter. Then there are separate requirements for withholding payroll taxes if you are paying more than $750/quarter. If you are just hiring an occasional sitter, you do not need w/c coverage (and they would probably be covered by your homeowners insurance if there was an accident). Some homeowners’ policies also provide some level of worker’s compensation coverage for people working under a certain number of hours. (And some of them exclude household workers who work MORE than a certain number of hours.)

      You need to check your own state’s rules and your own homeowner’s policy. The experience of people in other states with different policies may not do you much good.

  8. Getting married in 2 months and curious if there are any beauty treatments the hive thought were worth it before the big day? I’m considering a Clear & Brilliant laser treatment (have an appointment next week but may cancel it).

    1. Trying something new that close to your wedding seems like a risky move. You never know how your skin is going to react.

      1. +1 – I wouldn’t do anything dramatic with my skin that I hadn’t done before. I’ve seen a lot of people get eyelash extensions- they’re supposed to mess up you underlying lash but look great in the meantime. I’d be tempted to try them for a wedding or big event.

      2. Anecdote: I did teeth whitening (not for my wedding) and had a horrible allergic reaction that made my face swell up like a chipmunk. If you do it, do it well in advance.

    4. Get lots of sleep, hydrate by drinking water, don’t go too crazy eating/drinking even though it’s hard with all the celebratory moments, schedule some relaxing massages. IMO, most beautiful brides are the happy brides who aren’t stressed and are comfortable in their skin!

      1. I agree with this 100% and I would add to also schedule some workouts/workout classes between now and then – NOT for losing weight, but something that you enjoy and make you feel relaxed and give you energy. So maybe some yoga or running if you enjoy either of those.

    5. A medical pedicure. It’s a dry one with no foot bath and your feet look amazing for weeks. It is performed by a podiatrist with high standards so you won’t worry about catching something nasty or underpaid workers.

    6. I booked a regular dental cleaning (which gets the coffee stains off my teeth), and a facial the week of my wedding. I told the woman doing the facial that my wedding was in two days and to be gentle with the extractions, and I thought my skin looked great at my wedding.

      1. Oof … a facial two days before a wedding sounds like a recipe for disaster.

        I agree with everyone saying nothing drastic. I did eyelash extensions a few weeks before and loved them. I’d still have them now if they weren’t so expensive and supposed to be terrible for your natural lashes.

    7. I had lash extensions put in maybe a week or so before, and I did an airbrush spray tan (the kind applied by a person and not a booth, which I test ran about a month beforehand, then had application maybe three days before the wedding, iirc.

      Very happy with both of these, then and now. I am very pale and the tan came out great against my dress, looks natural in photos. The lashes were beautiful, and I wish I could wear them all the time but it’s more expensive than mascara and since I wore them for about a month, the shedding did thin my own lashes. that took about a month to grow back to normal, so totally worth it. If I were to do it again I would just have the lashes removed after 2 or 3 weeks.

      Congratulations, and have fun!

  9. Would you use a $50k inheritance to pay off student loans at 6.5% interest if you were 35 and only had $30k saved for retirement? I’m trying to weigh the time-value of investments against the time-value of interest. I pay $4500 per month against my loans and would shift that to investments.

    2. I would. You would be getting a guaranteed return by eliminating the middle-interest loan, plus lowering your monthly expenses. It sounds like you are doing great, but to my mind, having lower monthly expenses creates some appealing flexibility and freedom, even if you never take advantage of it.

    5. We paid my student loans off, higher interest first, aggressively before investing a ton in retirement funds, just because especially with the interest rates right now, nothing is returning 6.5% interest year over year. I will admit though, my husband is in finance and he is the one who evaluated the detailed cost-benefit analysis on it (there was even a spreadsheet) so I can’t tell you the specifics beyond that.

      Also being free of student loans has really made day to day living much easier for us as it’s really eased our monthly expenses, so it’s something to consider.

    6. Yes. I would And in fact I did. That 40k from granddad was instrumental in paying off my law school loans in 7 years and there’s an incredible freedom now that I am debt free.

    7. Maybe. But I would also think about refinancing the student loans so I am not paying 6.5%.

      1. So, question on that: Not the OP, but I also have student loans with 6.5 – 7% interest rates, no other debt, and a credit score that vacillates between 790-809. SoFi advertises 2% refinance rates… but offered me 4.5% which isn’t worth giving up the protections on federal loans. What gives?

        2. I think the lowest rates are for short term refinance – like 5 year term. I would say it depends on your own tolerance for risk and life circumstances. But for me 2% interest makes a big difference and I am in a place where I’m comfortable with the trade offs. But in OP’s example, she could, for instance, put half the money towards loans, refinance the rest at a lower rate so that even without protections it will be manageable in case of emergency (and let’s face it, your federal protections are limited in time/scope anyway) and invest the rest in a low risk mutual fund.

    8. My inheritance came in the form of IRAs, so the tax penalty to cash them in to pay off my loans wasn’t worth it. Otherwise, we probably would have paid off the loans.

  10. Where do you ladies buy nicer jewelry? I want to upgrade a few pieces to real gold/silver/higher quality stones & metals, but I don’t really know the best places to look. I love the design of say, David Yurman, but it just seems like you’re paying so much for the name rather than the stones, metal, and design.

    1. I buy my nicer jewelry (custom and off-the-rack) from a local, woman-owned jewelry store.

      Do you have any friends you could get local recommendations for?

    2. Is there a jeweler in your town that has a good, longstanding reputation? If so, I’d walk in there and introduce yourself. Look at some pieces. Describe your style. Ask if they will send you photos of things that you may like from time to time. Build your jewelry collection slowly and thoughtfully. I’m South Asian – jewelry is a whole thing, and I have a relationship with my jeweler.

      If you don’t want to go through all that, or you know exactly what you want, Blue Nile is a good option as well. But I like the hunt and the whole thing.

    3. Catbird and Local Eclectic, but that might not be the aesthetic you’re looking for. If there’s a name brand you want, like David Yurman, check somewhere like The Real Real.

    4. Depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re just looking for say, solid gold hoops, Amazon and Amazon collection jewelry is goos quality and a nice price point. Costco is also a go-to for simpler pieces and diamonds given the ultra-low markup (14%) and the warranty. I love my crossover hoop earrings from Amazon (formerly called Duragold). They’re two-tone and so pretty in person. They remind me of Cartier as well.

    5. Definitely local jeweler. Mine is a full bench jeweler meaning they make a lot of their own stuff, so if I want “just like this but different” they can do it. In fact, most of my items from them have been customized in some way.

      1. Also, I should add that they are MUCH cheaper than David Yurman or other brand name jewelry, especially now that they know me and I’m a return customer. The price on the items in the display is just a starting point. ;)

    7. I would also check some higher end antique stores in your town, I’ve found some beautiful jewelry at antique shops. Sometimes it can be pricey but it’s also of a quality and design that you just can’t find anymore and wouldn’t be any more than buying new.

      1. Does anyone have a recommendation for a good jeweler in DC? Especially one who can make pieces, as I have a stone I want set.

        1. I recently had a custom engagement ring made using stones from my grandmother’s cocktail ring – we used Today’s Cargo on King Street in Old Town. They were fantastic and I highly recommend them. I now have something truly unique that’s part custom/part heirloom and I thought their pricing was fair and turnaround time was reasonable.

  11. Anyone here a member? What’s the point? It seems like a really expensive gym/lounge or a country club for NYC. Husband wants to join for networking purposes. Anyone have experience to share?

    1. I am a member of a reciprocal club (which I used nearly daily for the gym) and stay at the NYAC when I am in NYC. I love NYAC — so much history, clubhouse is very convenient, good gym. Have never been to Travers Island, but would love to.

      I guess it boils down to are you a clubby-joiner type of person? Is he?

      And it’s good for loose networking, but if you’re looking to actively and overtly network for work all the time, that is really the wrong vibe (at least at my home club). I met a lot of great people (many of whom don’t fit the private club stereotype) that I might have missed had I just stuck to working my BigLaw gig and going home exhausted at the end of ever day.

      My reciprocal club was the only wild luxury I ever had in BigLaw (never traveled, old paid off car, etc.) and it really added to my QOL. But I totally get that it is 100% not everyone’s jam.

    2. Lots of friends and my ex are members and I belong to a different reciprocal club in the area. As far as networking goes, there are a lot of opportunities to meet people, and they have a better variety of events than a lot of other clubs. But, yeah…it’s basically a country club. If you are active members, join committees, and attend events your network will expand. However, from what I’ve seen at the many events I’ve attended, the networking is more social than business-oriented.
      The Travers Island facility is gorgeous. But again, basically a country club.

    3. Not OP, but related question: Does anyone belong to The Wing DC or NYC? If so, how do you use it? Do you find it to be worth the investment?

  12. Can I get your best tips for working with legal interns? Specifically, I’m wondering about assigning work. I have some small projects that I think are the right level for a law student that would also be a tremendous help to the company if she did them well. Is there anything I can do to make it more likely that the work she does is a good experience for her and is also something we can ultimately use?

    1. Personally, I don’t think much is usable. They just don’t know enough nor are they around long enough. So I would give her whatever you think can be polished with several go-arounds, ie do not expect usable work product on the first try.

    2. Be sure to give the intern an idea of how long the project should take. Not just when you need it by, but something like “I expect this research and memo will take 8-10 hours. If you get started and don’t think that is feasible, let’s talk about it.”

      1. And, plan for a check-in after 25-50% of the project to make sure it’s on the right track. It’s frustrating for both sides if the deliverable isn’t what’s expected.

        Once the project is done, try to explain to the intern how the research will be used and its overall value, so that they can use it as an example in future interviews.

        1. this this this. I do this with my summer associates – I try to explain the big picture at the initial discussion of the project, and check in after a day or two (depending on whether I know they’ve had time to look at it). Then, at the follow up, I ask about what they’ve done, how they think it’s going, what questions have come up while they’re working on it, and, if I sense it’s necessary, reiterate how this fits into the big picture.

    3. Write it down and to the extent practicable break it down into steps.
      I think sometimes people get nervous when being assigned work and they may not be in the habit of taking good notes yet, so the more instructions you can give, the better. A sample of what you’re looking for would be great, too, if you can provide one.

    4. Provide good feedback. If something is wrong or isn’t what you’re looking for, let her know and explain why. That way she learns, and you receive good quality work.

    5. Describe the assignment in person, then send a follow up written email of the assignment (this helps make sure the intern understood the assignment). Specify work product (memo, email, brief point etc.). Schedule a check in when the intern has done sufficient research but before they start writing for them to describe what they’ve found so you can make sure they’re on track. Explain all edits of work product to them in person.

  13. We need to move a relatively small amount of my late FIL’s belongings to us. Florida to Massachusetts, maybe 2 dozen averaged sized boxes. No furniture or oddly sized pieces or anything.

    PODS & 1-800 Pack Rat are both > $2,250… we’d need (at most) the smallest container they offer – 7 or 8 foot containers.

    Short of renting a small truck and doing the move ourselves, which we are trying hard to avoid doing, are there any creative solutions out there? Trying to spend around $1,000-$1,500, but maybe that’s just not realistic. TIA.

    3. Imagining these are around the size of copy paper boxes or slightly large, can you send them UPS Ground or whatever the slowest US Mail option is?

    4. Amtrak! You bring it to the station and then they deliver it to your closest station and you have 3 days to pick up. I shipped 95 pounds of boxes and suitcases about a 4×4 cube of stuff for 50 bucks from nyc to Minnesota. Took 5 days to arrive.

      1. I’m forever grateful to the friend who told me about this. I shipped over 500 lbs of stuff and it was so easy!

    5. Assuming you do not mind to pack everything yourself, I used U-Pack for about the same distance and it was in your price range. You pack the boxes, and they load the truck, drive, and unload.

    6. Try Get it Gone – they did a move from NH to FL for me, not sure of your cities/towns in each state but they combined my move with another one, which saved money, if you’re not sensitive to timing.

    7. Check out uship.com. They sublet extra space in cargo trucks for small moves. It’s great if you are flexible on timing. I used them to ship an oddly sized piece of furniture to a relative and it was very reasonable. You’ll need to know the measurements of your load.

    8. Honestly, try USPS. My father is a letter carrier and has described customers who move almost all their belongings cross-country for way cheaper than hiring movers, even if they buy insurance on the packages. Especially if your boxes are regular, average sized and not especially heavy, this would be super cost-effective.

    9. Just a note on Amtrak – they put the boxes on the trains when they have room for them. So you don’t get a guaranteed delivery date. It was fine with me the last time I moved, but if you need to know when you’re going to have them, it might not work.

    10. I think U-Haul may offer something similar to a POD that is both smaller and less expensive.

  14. I’m hoping for some job advice from the hive, although I’m not even sure what about. I’m a senior associate in Big Law and frankly, I’m tired.

    I don’t work in a crazy white shoe firm where everyone bills 3,000 hours a year, but I am just done with the late nights and unpredictability. I like the substance of my work, and I like the people in the team, I just wish it was more regular hours and less last minute ‘omg we have to draft this 300-page document in the next two hours’. I work in a niche finance practice area so some of it is just the nature of transactional bank work, but the team is struggling. We can’t keep juniors/mid-levels or hire new ones because there’s a bad rep in the market, and that just makes things worse for the seniors because there’s nobody to delegate to. I’ve been here since law school and apparently am a shoe-in for a promotion next year (believe it when I see it), but I’m not sure I can take another year, and I’m not sure it would improve much after that either.

    So here’s the thing: I not unsurprisingly have Stockholm syndrome. The partner I work for has mentored me from a baby lawyer to where I am now and he sees me as his successor to hand his clients down to. I could do very well here, but for the hours, and while he would do plenty to try to keep me, I don’t think he can really give me exactly what I want because of the clients we work for and the nature of the industry our clients are in.

    I’m still wondering whether I should just suck it up for another year and take the promotion, and then finding a new job might be easier, but at the same time ugh. I’m meeting some headhunters in the next couple of weeks but I have no idea how to know what I want to do since doing my current job 9-5 is what I would love, but isn’t exactly an option. How do I get my head around what the best next step is and get past the fear of leaving (or even thinking about leaving)?

    1. Ah. Your last sentences start to get at the core: fear of leaving and moving into the unknown. I’d deal with the fear directly, not get tied up in all these other details.

      I will say this: It’s a rare job that become less stressful after a promotion.
      I’ve started over many times in my worklife. It always scary, and life always goes on.

    2. Seniority can become a problem for moving within law. I don’t know whether moving will become easier once you’ve been promoted, especially if the clients are not mobile.

    3. I watched the Defiant Ones about Jimmy Iovine and Dr Dre. Jimmy Iovine said something that has been a crucial piece of advice in my life, and I keep coming back to it. Let fear be your tailwind, not your headwind. Fear is good. Fear can be useful. But don’t let it keep you back. Make it push you forward.

    4. I left big law as a 5th year to go to government. Similar to you- I actually really loved my work, enjoyed working with (most of) the people in my group, and was viewed highly by others at the firm. Also had two very good mentors. BUT. There was very high turnover, the hours were a lot (2300-2500 hours per year, on average), and I was worn out by the endless number of late nights and unpredictability. And life didn’t seem to improve once you made partner. If I could have done that job 9-5, or even 9-7, I absolutely would have stayed. It was a very hard decision to leave, even though most of my friends and family thought I was legit crazy for considering staying there for the long term.

      I’m two months into the government job, and the quality of my life has improved dramatically. Several people have told me I look and act less stressed / more relaxed. I do miss the work and my friends at the law firm, and it was definitely scary to make the move and have to prove my self at a new job (which I’m still adjusting to), but I’m overall glad I took this opportunity to focus on my personal life.

      One thing that stuck with me when making the decision was that, if I really missed the firm, they would very likely take me back (or I could do the same type of work at another firm). Now that I’ve worked 9-5 for two months (and actually leave at 5!), I cant imagine going back to those hours. But it has given me some comfort that I likely could if I wanted to.

    5. First, I sympathize so much on the topic of recruiting and retaining juniors/mid-levels. My view is that it is not going to change and frankly, I only see it getting worse. I came out of law school during the crash. There is just a dearth of mid-levels and senior associates on the lateral market. Without good mid-levels and senior associates to assist, training the revolving door of juniors becomes next to impossible. Couple that with a terrible reputation and you are likely going to be without good help for awhile. We also have trouble recruiting, but I find our situation is primarily driven by the competition. There just are not that many people on the lateral market. So, beware, the next option may not be great for that either! I just try to survive by training and talking up the shining junior stars.

      In terms of what to do next, this is very much a loaded question and so depends on where you are and what “promotion” we are talking about. For example, if you are a finance associate at K&E and up for partner next year, then you are almost certainly going to get “promoted” to non-share partner, as is the K&E way, but my understanding is that you are basically starting over in the K&E rat race. Now, you are gunning for share partner and are starting from scratch. In addition, most if not all biglaw firms are going to understand that a 2012 “partner” at K&E is a NSP and are going to still view you as a senior associate vis-a-vis their structure.

      If you are inheriting clients, becoming a rainmaker, etc., you are never, from my view, going to get control of your life and schedule because now you are 100% the person that clients are calling. You are the one that has to delegate out the work. You are the one that has to negotiate the bills. It. Only. Gets. Worse!

      Lastly, if you are on the bank side, I’d see if you could do a two to three secondment. You will get a feel for in-house and see if it is for you. If you are on the issuer or borrower side, it’s harder, but maybe you can get a secondment in-house at a larger client.

    6. I am going through basically the same thing now, except I don’t mind the hours. My beef is more with not having enough responsibility on my matters, and having less now that I did years ago due to mergers etc. changing the culture.

      You have to let yourself look at other things, and be open-minded to the point it makes sense. It can take a while and there are probably going to be some bumps down the road. I’d also try to improve your current situation at the same time.

      I can share my experience over the past 9 months of job searching. I was really really (really) disappointed – I got an offer for what I previously thought was my dream job (AUSA) and turned it down based on what I learned during the interviews. It was so disappointing. That made staying in my current job even harder, and I felt like I had no idea what to do since I don’t want to stay in biglaw, don’t want to go in-house, and have kind of given up on government too. I am moving on to considering other options and feeling better about, but it has been a rough road and I expect there to be yet more bumps.

      1. What was it during the interview process that made you change your mind about becoming an AUSA (and were you interviewing for civil or criminal?)?

  15. What’s something small you do on a regular basis that you find makes a big difference in your life? For example, I recently started cleaning my kitchen sink and main counter every night before going to bed, even if I didn’t cook that day or it doesn’t *look* dirty. I don’t know why, but it puts me in a much better mood when I get up to make my coffee the next morning.

    Next goal: plan my work outfits for the whole week on Sundays.

    1. I am most productive in the mornings, so at the end of each workday I make a list of things I need to get done the next day. When I get to work the following day, the first thing I do is check my list and knock out as many items as possible.

    2. -making my bed everyday mentally makes life feel so much more together
      – all annoying tasks I tell myself “future me will be thankful I did this now”
      – never leave a space without taking something with you that belongs elsewhere
      -write everything down. You will forget.
      -always have a stack of cards at your desk and home so you are ready for birthdays, thank you etc.

    3. I bullet journal, but not a Pinterest worthy bullet journal. I do a daily list of tasks I need to accomplish and check them off. I write down, physically write down, every single thing I absolutely need to do and it is so much more effective than a list or reminder on my computer. I am not sure why but there is a whole community of people who agree. My journal is part task list, part appointment book and part diary. I’ve recently been updating an annual task and it has been invaluable to go back to last year’s journal and review my notes and dates and sub-tasks.

      I keep my bedroom picked up and always hang up my work clothes. I try to keep my closet organized but every once in a while I go in and restore order (skirts together, blouses together, ranked by color, etc) This makes getting ready in the morning so much easier.

      I wake up slowly and do things like this before I hit the ground running for work. Otherwise I’m in a bad mood all day.

      I try to shower at night so that I can just get dressed and brush my teeth and do minimal makeup and skincare in the morning.

      I make my bed. I wouldn’t win any awards for hospital corners but it looks presentable and inviting when i get home.

    4. I agree with cleaning the counter before bed. Waking up to a clean space sets the tone for the day. I also:

      – Keep enough stamps and cards on hand for last-minute birthday cards
      – Plan out what I need to purchase for my outdoor hobbies well in advance so I can take advantage of a sale when it happens with all the background research already completed
      – Download interesting podcasts in advance of my commute so I’m not glued to my phone looking for something when I need to be heading out the door
      – Attempt the “touch it once” style of decluttering/cleaning (work in progress)

    5. I don’t let myself sit down while dinner is cooking, and instead do light tidying like wiping down counters, putting away dishes, picking up miscellaneous flotsam, throwing in a load of laundry, prepping the coffee machine for the next morning, etc.

      Depending on the recipe, this usually works out to 15-30 minutes per day. It doesn’t feel like too much to handle for after work, but it does add up over the course of the week to a respectable amount of time. And it keeps the house from completing the descent into chaos by Friday.

      1. This is a great idea. I’m always surprised at how much tidying I can get done in 15-30 minutes if I just do it.

    6. I’m just going to come in from the opposite end of the spectrum which is that my husband and I have very different ideas about how clean the house needs to be (I’m messier than him).

      We also sleep in different bedrooms (GREAT for our marriage as smothering him would probably have put a crimp on the relationship) and there used to be a lot more tension about how clean/dirty our house was. So something my therapist recommended was essentially making an agreement that “my bedroom” (which I just redecorated) is my space and he doesn’t get to judge it. So I DON’T make my bed (I don’t really see the point) and generally don’t have to have it be perfectly clean, though I also got myself a fair amount of closed storage when I redecorated to try to cut down on obvious clutter.

      In sort of trade, I’ve worked harder at making sure that my stuff in the rest of the house is at least stored in places it can’t be seen, even if it doesn’t make a ton of organizational sense to HIM.

      Giving myself permission NOT to worry about making my bed or whatever is nice and gives me more energy to deal with the other cleaning stuff, which is just never going to be something I care about as much as he does.

      1. This is a great point. Sometimes, it’s about doing less, not doing more. I think as high achievers, it’s super easy for all of us to fall into the trap of self-improvement, when some of this stuff just does NOT add value to our lives.

    7. – Make my bed every day
      – Put gas in my car every Saturday
      – throw away trash from my car every time I get gas
      – Run the dishwasher every night and empty it every morning (I don’t live somewhere with water restrictions)
      – Batch cook hard boiled eggs for breakfast 2x per week and batch cook 3 lunches so I don’t eat out

      1. Even if you don’t live somewhere with water restrictions, wasting water is unnecessary. I’m not saying this to judge, but since you commented about the water restrictions, that sounded like you were saying that it’s not necessary to run it at least some of the time.

        1. She knows it is unnecessary, but she is citing this as an example of something she does that makes her life easier. It is perfectly reasonable to run the dishwasher every day if it makes her life easier.

          1. Sure, maybe one person running the dishwasher every day in a region where there are no water restrictions isn’t the end of the world. But when everybody thinks that way and everybody acts that way, we get to a point like the one we’re at where we’re destroying our planet. So, just try to be a little less selfish and a little more mindful. Please.

        2. yes, we are a family of 5 and don’t run our dishwasher daily! Every other day or sometimes, every third day. I also don’t rinse dishes before putting them in-they still get clean…

    8. When I pull tops out of the dryer, I hang them up in whatever order they get pulled out in, freshly clean to the right of already hanging. Then I wear them from left to right. Whatever top is leftmost is the one I’m wearing that day. I grab whatever skirt/pants/cardigan/blazer that matches and is clean. Cuts down enormously on morning dithering over what to wear, and makes sure I wear all the tops I own.

      1. I do something similar – at the start of the season, everything is pushed to the far left of the closet and then moved to the right side as it gets worn. If something is still on the left at the end of the season, I seriously reconsider whether it needs to stay with me or be rehomed.

    9. I take a lunch break. I leave my desk and usually leave my office. Sometimes, I meet my husband for a lunch date. Sometimes, I have lunch with a friend or colleague to keep my network up. Sometimes, I have lunch by myself and read my book or take a walk.

    11. Making my bed is a big thing, like Anon at 10:34 said. It sets the right tone for the day if I don’t leave the bedroom in disarray.

      Taking out my clothes for the next day and leaving them folded on the dresser or hanging on a hook or doorknob. Having them and my bag out and ready to go makes things easier, especially if I find myself running late.

      Keeping shoes at work. That way, I can wear whatever I need to commute.

    12. -Making my bed!! I’ve seen so many people preach that gospel on here and the Internet generally. I finally started doing it a month ago and it’s astonishing the difference it makes – for my morning, my day, how I feel, how my room looks. I’m a total convert.
      -Running the dishwasher at night and emptying it every morning. Also a recent change that I’m loving. It’s the best way to stay on top of kitchen clutter and to keep a clean sink, which makes me happy in the mornings.
      -Meal planning for the week. I’ve been doing this without fail for about five years and it is critical to a functioning household with two working parents. Might not count as something small, as it can take a little more time and be a pain in the butt, but it pays exponential dividends so I’m counting it.

    13. exercise 4-5 early mornings per week
      run dishwasher every night and unload after morning exercise
      make bed daily
      wash ALL clothes on weekend (i.e. finish the process include putting away)

      I really want to line up my clothes for the week but am still not there.

    14. Similar to the OP, I clean the kitchen immediately after dinner and don’t sit down until the kitchen is “closed” for the night. It makes it so nice to be able to sit and have an after-dinner drink by the fire, or watch a little TV, knowing that I’ve done my chore and the kitchen is ready for the next day.

      Also making the bed every day, running the dishwasher every night.

    15. I iron/steam my clothes that I just laundered on Sunday. I usually do my laundry on Saturday so that by Sunday the things I hung up are dry and then I steam/iron them before I take them back to my closet. Then I sort of put together my outfits for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have every outfit planned, but as I’m putting my clothes back that I just washed/ironed I sort of group items that I want to wear that week. Like I’ll wear these pants and these skirts with these blouses, etc. but then in the mornings I just go to this section to pull from. It’s so nice to know that everything in my closet is ironed/steamed and ready to wear and saves a ton of time.

      1. Each weekend straightening up one drawer, shelf or garment type.
        Buying cards, wrapping paper and tissue paper in advance. Including wine bags.
        Always having a couple of hostess gifts on hand.
        Keeping a bunch of lists so when I run errands I can knock out as many things as possible.
        Hanging my clothes when they come back from the laundry/drycleaner into outfits so all I have to do in the morning is grab one and some shoes.

  17. Thank you to whoever recommended the Jcrew pouch to put in your tote! I haven’t lost my keys or wallet in the bottom of my purse since I got it, and I’ve taken it to coffee or lunch every day.

      1. Yep! I got the large on super sale and this season’s is super cute (blue tassle version)

  18. This is maybe a dumb question, but Can I go to a nutritionist just for support in losing weight? I’ve been trying WW and consistently failing at it and think I need more support, but I always think of nutritionists as people who help if you have specific dietary issues and mine is just that I eat too much!

    1. I would say yes. If traditional calorie counting doesn’t work for you, you may need different meal planning and may need to be assessed for other issues. I mean, it can’t hurt.

      You probably won’t be able to get your insurance to pay for it, though maybe depending, but I think seeing a certified nutritionist sounds like a good idea to get more tailored advice.

    2. I would think you could do that! I’m sure nutritionists deal with this all of the time, and should be able to work with you to help you meet your goals.

      Alternatively, have you considered seeing a therapist about it? I ask because I recently started seeing a therapist for health-related anxiety, and one of the things I’ve been considering bringing up with her is my relationship with food. I’m overweight, and am a big comfort eater, so I tend to binge eat when I’m stressed, sad, angry, etc. Some sort of counseling in this regard may be more helpful than a nutritionist.

      1. +1 to your second paragraph. I started addressing my food issues with my therapist at the same time I started seeing a nutritionist who focuses on intuitive eating. Both have been really helpful for me, although the nutritionist maybe more-so. I don’t weigh myself but I can tell that I have lost weight. I am down several clothing sizes.

    3. Not a dumb question! Great idea!

      WW does work but it’s lifestyle change. It’s not a fad diet. A nutritionist would be great at coming up with ideas for meal planning that work for. If you are over eating, a nutritionist can help with strategies around what to eat to help you feel full and what to do after you have fueled your body but you still want to eat.

      That said, if you feel your overeating is an emotional response to stress, you might what to think about a psychologist who addresses eating issues.

    5. I’m working with one now. We meet weekly- she has me track what I’m eating in MFP, and then gives feedback and suggestions. She gives me general calorie and macro goals for each week, and we set measurable goals and KPI’s. She’s Chicago based but works with clients remotely- happy to make a rec if this is something you’re up for.

      3. I am working with a nutritionist in DC and have a similar set up. We meet biweekly but otherwise its pretty similar to kk. I’m down 17 lbs! It is not covered by my insurance, but some might cover it. I pay $60 each visit.

        1. would you mind sharing the name of your nutritionist? I’m looking for something like that in DC

          1. Rebecca Mohning – Her company is Expert Nutrition. Its easy to find on the big search engine (hoping to avoid moderation)

      5. I pay $150/month. It’s Beyond the Box nutrition- in Chicago. They originally worked with a lot of crossfit athletes but now also work with a huge group of professional people.

    6. Wow thank you all so much. This is just the boost I needed. Calling for an appointment at lunch.

    8. I have joined a program called StrongerU where you get a coach who tells you how much to eat each day in the form of how many grams of fat, carbs and protein and you track it and send it in to the coach at the end of the week. The combination of structure, but freedom to eat what I want, plus accountability, is working for me.

    9. This is what I get from StrongerU. You get an individual coach who gives you the right amount of carbs, fat and protein to eat. You pick what you want to eat within that framework and submit your records at the end of the week. Its a good combination of structure, flexibility and accountability and is working for me. I recommend it. Pricey, but without the accountability I was unable to lose weight and now I have. I am about to re up for a year.

  19. Has anyone had solar panels installed on their house? If so, do you have any regrets or wish you knew something going in that you know now? DH and I are considering taking the plunge and buying them outright (not leasing). Our jurisdiction offers substantial tax credits to make it an affordable process. I’m especially concerned about whether they live up to the advertised rate of return and whether anyone experienced any structural issues on their roof as a result.

    1. We purchased solar panels for our house about three years ago, and we’ve been very happy with them. We were told that they would generate about 40% of our electricity usage, and we are getting that averaged over the course of the year.

      Our roof was nearing the end of its life, so we replaced the roof before we had them installed. Its expensive to have them removed and reinstalled if you need to replace the roof. They are very lightweight, and we’ve had no damage.

      It took a while to get the power company approvals in place. Our panels are pretty dirty from pollen and dust, and my husband tried to hose them off, but it didn’t work. Its also not affecting our electricity generation, so we’re not going to worry about it any more.

    2. Neighbors did this and have been very happy with them. The only issue was that when they had a roof repair (unrelated to the solar panels) it turned into a complicated logistics puzzle – panels had to come off, then roof had to be fixed, then later the panels had to be reinstalled. I think it was pricey to do the solar piece on top of the roof repair.

    3. My parents have them. I think they put them in about a decade ago? They love them. My dad is cheap and a hippy and gets a thrill out of knowing that he only paid the power company $4 that month. No issues with the roof. One thing to check out is the company’s warranty/ repair policy. The panels can be expensive to replace/repair if damaged, although they really are pretty sturdy. My parents live on a golf course and they’ve withstood lots of errant balls.

    4. I would recommend you check your jurisdiction and whether there is a minimum grid fee / power bill per month where you are. I have friends who have discovered this after the fact.

    5. I work in renewable energy (not residential, though), and yes, the technology is mature to the point that they are stupid reliable. Make sure your installer uses Tier 1 panels. Make sure the company selling to you is showing you projections with shading factored in (if your roof is shaded by big trees, they will produce far less than an open roof with no obstructions). The panels and inverters will be under manufacturer warranty, but make sure you know what the installer’s labor and workmanship policies are.

  20. It used to be:
    The Netherlands
    The Bronx
    The Ukraine
    The Dales

    Now it is:
    The Netherlands
    The Bronx
    The Dales
    Ukraine

    Are there other plural place names with The in front of it (or missing)?
    Was Ukraine the only singular place that somehow got The in front of it (for a while)?

    We don’t say The Connecticut (or The Wales).

    2. It’s ‘The Netherlands’ because it’s made up of more than one ‘land’. Holland is the biggest but there are others.

      It was never ‘The Ukraine’. Never heard that before.

      ‘The’ is reserved for plural places.

      3. In the case of Ukraine, it has to do with political changes in the country. It’s not just a random change. Wikipedia says:
        “The Ukraine” was once the usual form in English, but since the Declaration of Independence of Ukraine, “the Ukraine” has become much less common in the English-speaking world, and style-guides largely recommend not using the definite article. “The Ukraine” now implies disregard for the country’s sovereignty, according to U.S. ambassador William Taylor. The Ukrainian position is that the usage of “‘The Ukraine’ is incorrect both grammatically and politically.”

        1. +1 Ukrainians and Ukrainian Americans in my experience care about getting this right.

    4. The British Virgin Islands; the Maldives; the Congo (not exactly current); the United States of America; the Bahamas; the People’s Republic of China; the Dominic Republic, the United Arab Emirates, the Czech Republic, the Philippines, the United Kingdom … I think there’s probably loads and I don’t think its singular vs plural because there’s also the Hague, the Sudan, etc. Google seems to suggest that if the name has a common noun, is a group of islands, or based on a geographical feature, you use THE (although this last one is on the decline); if it’s just a proper noun (like Spain), you don’t.

      There’s a slate article about this too, but it sheds no light on why the Bronx has a THE in front of it. http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2009/10/why_is_it_called_the_hague.html

      1. It seems to need an S when the country is a plural of something (The Bahamas, The Philippines [The Philippine Islands], the Maldives). Not sure how Hawaii (The Hawaiian Islands) escaped this fate.

        So The Bronx may just sound right b/c the X makes it sound plural.

        The US is even plural in Spanish: Los EEUU or Los Estados Unidos (so maybe that confirms that THE is here to stay).

    5. Let us, as US Americans, not forget places such as the Iraq, everywhere like such as and…

      …oh, Miss Teen SC, 2007. I still laugh about your slip up (sorry?).

        1. Me too. I have a friend who still throws a “such as” into random conversations just to make both of us laugh.

    6. The Soviets referred to it as The Ukraine as a region of the USSR. Upon gaining independence, the country is now Ukraine. Referring to Ukraine as The Ukraine is a slap in the face to Ukrainians, especially since 2014. Eastern European geopolitics is fascinating, but also dangerous.

      1. Well, yes, it has become political but the reason that it used to be “the Ukraine” as opposed to just “Ukraine” when other Soviet republics weren’t is because the name itself refers to its geography, which would place it in a certain kind of old school tradition with respect to place names. There is no “the” in Russian or Ukrainian, for that matter.

  21. Please help me dress myself for lunch with my boss visiting from his home city. I normally WFH. He stated he will be dressed casually in jeans. My jean choices are straight skinnies and bootcuts. Both are decent dark denim and can be worn with flats. He mentioned walking to a viewpoint so I will wear flats. The skinnies have a stretch waist so I can’t tuck in a top. So… Skinnies or bootcuts? Silk shirt and blazer over that? Is no-tuck OK for a looser shirt or is that a purely casual look?

    I have a few sheath dresses (which is what I normally wear when I travel) but they are really conservative and will probably be out of place.

    1. I’d probably go with a top you can tuck in but also balance the top and the bottom, so if it’s the skinny jeans, I might go with a blousier top that can be tucked in and still hide the waistband whereas if you wear the bootcuts, I’d go with a more fitted shirt.

      Also, honestly this sounds almost like a casual first date, so I’d just wear whatever you’d wear to that (only joking, but just wear whatever you’re most comfortable in and unless it’s a really hot day, I wouldn’t do a dress).

      1. Thanks! That’s helpful. Blazer or no blazer? I tend to feel more comfortable in a third layer. I have a fringed tweed one that’s fairly casual? Or a jean blazer (different denim than bottoms)?

        1. You can wear the blazer to lunch but would probably want to take it off for the walk so choose your blouse with that in mind. Also- you don’t want to make your boss feel underdressed or like you didn’t listen when he said he’d be in jeans, so don’t overdo it.

        2. I’d definitely go with a blazer of comfortable weight or structured cardigan over the all denim look (though if you have a leather jacket you like, that could be fun), but if you’re going for a walk (and I don’t know where you are), just be prepared that you might want/need to take it off.

          When it’s hot, I sometimes use a scarf to give my looks “completeness” if it’s not comfortable in a blazer but I’m generally a blazer girl as well.

  22. I have former Hermione Granger hair that I’ve recently started wearing curly (yay for natural hair products!). Mostly I can wear it down, but sometimes the weather or circumstances don’t cooperate.

    Does anyone else remember those plastic thingies that you could use to put your hair into an updo in the 90s? I’m wondering if there’s anything a bit more updated now. Most barrettes are not big enough to hold my hair in place, but I’d love to be able to put it up into a simple updo. When I do this without a contraption I end up with half a package of bobby pins in my hair and I still look messy, save formal occasions when I have hours to mess with it.

    Maybe this is a pipe dream, but if anyone would know, it’s the Hive.

    1. I just searched france luxe updo on amazon and got lots of hits for those plastic things. You might try that.

      I like the look of a chignon comb. You twist your hair into a bun and just stick one comb into it. It would work if your hair is curly enough and you like a loose updo.

      1. Ooh i hadn’t seen a chignon comb in action before. They’re lovely AND classier than my usual “twist hair into bun, secure with 2 small plastic clips”

    3. Do you mean a banana clip or a claw clip? I’m not sure I know which plastic thingy you’re talking about. Both still and exist and can be bought at Target or on Amazon. I’m also a fan of spin-pins for a quick bun with only one pin. I was skeptical and thought for sure they would become hopelessly tangled in my type 3b curls, but they don’t at all.

    4. France Luxe does make some bigger clips that manage to hold my giant mass of hair, but I would also recommend goody spin pins. Get a double set. Easiest solution I’ve found.

    5. I always wrangle my curly hair into a messy bun if I want it up and off of my neck. I can usually hold in place with a ponytail holder and a couple of spin pins.

    6. I have similar hair that’s about should length, and I have good luck using four inch plastic hair pins and a rubber band. Basically, I make a pony tail, twist the bun into position and secure it with two or three pins. The result is “undone” but in an intentional way. I also remain the world’s last user of those sock bun makers.

  23. Ladies, let’s talk shoes! My partner is saying that I have too many unnecessary shoes (fair point given our small home), but I feel like I don’t have much more than the average woman. How many pairs and what have you got? And how do you decide what shoes you’ll get the most wear out of?

    I do a lot of walking, so have comparatively few heeled shoes. Here’s my shoe collection:

    gray snow boots
    black suede knee high boots
    black heeled ankle boots
    black slip on sneakers/flat shoes
    colorful Nike sneakers
    leopard flats
    black loafers
    nude pointy toe flats
    2 fun/colorful flats
    1 pair casual flip flop
    tan summer sandals
    black pumps
    tan heeled sandals
    silver strappy heels (don’t like them, but keep them because I haven’t found a good replacement yet)

    Excessive or normal? Any gaps that I could use an excuse to go shipping?

    1. This does not seem remotely excessive to me . . . but that’s because I have far more than you do!

      I’m going to take a stab at this:
      – snow boots
      – rain boots
      – Dansko barn clogs
      – ~6 pairs of running shoes
      – rubber flip flops
      – 2 x “fancy” flip flops
      – 2 pairs Rothys loafers
      – two pairs patterned pointed flats
      – two pairs patterned round flats
      – one pair black pointed flats
      – three pairs espadrilles in various colors
      – ~12 pairs of heels (nude, navy, grey (faux leather and suede), snakeskin pattern, red, burgundy, green, leopard, black . . .)
      – 2 pairs summer wedges
      – 2 pairs open toe wedding/party shoes
      – 1 rose gold pair of heels that needs repairing
      – 1 pair flat riding boots
      – 3 pairs Shoreline Chucks
      – 1 pair fun NB sneaks for around town (pink, purple, and orange <3)

      I cleaned out a bunch I didn't wear in the spring . . . Gosh that is embarrassing!!

      1. I also have 6 pairs of running shoes! But only because I finally got rid of 2 of my oldest pairs … I had 8 last week.

        In my defense they have different purposes (road, trail, waterproof trail), and as I cycle through the road running shoes I keep them to wear while doing yardwork. But the too-old-to-run-in shoes collect and collect until I end up with 8 or 9 pairs…

        1. Hahaha yea, I didn’t include the junk pairs I have figured out what to do with. That might add four more!!

      2. I don’t think your collection is excessive at all! Here’s mine:

        Black flats
        Nude flats (these fit terribly and don’t get worn much. need to replace)
        Snakeskin flats
        Brown ankle boots
        Black tall boots (never gonna give you up….)
        Nude patent heels
        Black patent heels
        Nude heeled cage sandals
        Beige and gold cork wedges
        Brown and gold strappy flat sandals
        Rainbows flip flops
        Outdoor sneakers (when my gym shoes start to look gross they become “outdoor sneakers” that I wear in the yard)
        Gym shoes
        Merrell hiking sandals
        Navy vans
        Bedroom slippers

        Numerically, I think we’re about the same. I regard almost everything in this collection as a necessity and if pressed, I think I could only reasonably narrow it down by 2-3 pairs. In my case, each shoe fits a category and if it wears out, I replace it with one from the same category so the collection doesn’t really ever grow. I’m an anomaly though, because I hate shoe shopping. My only shoe purchases that weren’t planned to fit a specific wardrobe need were the navy vans and the cage sandals.

    2. I’m bored, I’ll do this.

      One pair of casual New Balance sneakers
      One pair of trail running shoes
      One pair of hiking boots
      Three pairs of heels for weddings
      One nude wedge heel
      One pair of nice black flats
      One pair of not-so-nice black flats I’m overdue to retire
      2 pairs of Birkenstocks
      One pair of Allbirds slippers
      One pair of flip flops
      One pair of Bean mocs
      One pair of Sorel snow boots
      One pair of brown leather riding boots (fashion)
      One pair of brown leather paddock boots (riding)
      One pair of ski boots
      One pair of climbing shoes

      I’m really low on work-appropriate shoes, but I’m all set in the outdoors/athletic department.

      1. Oh man, I didn’t include my actual riding boots – two pairs paddock and one pair tall!

    3. Oh goodness. I think you’re fine! I have, wow, 25, and I in no way consider myself a Shoe Person.

      Work: that I actually wear: 2 pairs low block heels, that I need to part with: 2 kitten heels, 3 pointy toe flats, 1 nude wedge from 2 summers ago

      Active: running shoes, hiking low, hiking high

      Casual: leather sandals, Sperry sandals, Sperry boat shoes, Nike sneakers, “cute” sneakers, suede loafers

      Evening: 4 pairs (nude wedges, nude sparkle, black suede, bronze peep toe)

      Weather: Bean boots, Bean mocs, snow boots, Croc flats for rainy commutes

    4. Do you wear them all on a semi-regular basis? If so, it’s not excessive. If you have a few pairs you haven’t worn in years, donate them.

    5. I have more in just about every category. If the issue is that they take up too much space, how are you storing them? Maybe there’s a better way? If the issue is that he’s being judgy, tell him to quit it.

    6. That really doesn’t seem excessive at all if you’re getting use out of all of them. We’re not like men who can wear the same pair of black Oxfords at literally every occasion. I think this is my collection right now, keeping in mind I don’t drive and have a bus commute and live in Canada:

      -1 pair casual sneakers
      -1 pair heavy duty Sorel snow boots
      -1 pair lighter snow boots for days that aren’t as bad
      -1 pair rainboots
      -1 pair black pumps for interviews (the only heels I own)
      -1 pair comfy black booties for everyday
      -2 pairs black booties (one leather, one suede) for going out
      -1 pair grey booties that are too small and I need to replace
      -3 pairs of casual sandals for summer
      -2 pairs of flip flops
      -2 pairs of wedges for going out
      -probably 10 pairs of flats in various styles and colours (loafers, oxfords, ballet…I wear these at work)

    7. I have 11 pairs of shoes for all seasons:
      – Black Birkenstock brogues
      – Brown Russel & Bromley flats
      – Black Gabor flats
      – Dusty pink hotter pumps
      – Burgundy hotter pumps
      – Black Gabor boots mid-calf
      – Black aerosol boots mid-calf
      – Brown Dubarry boots – calf length
      – Gucci Ace sneakers
      – 2 Birkenstock sandals

      And 3 specialty shoes:
      – Blue Meindl hiking shoes
      – 3 pairs of trainers for running and working out

    8. Glad to see my collection is not excessive!! I did forget 2 pairs: 1 pair of beige oxfords and 1 pair of patterned heels.

      I get decent wear out of most of them, and the ones that I don’t wear is because they’re for special occasions (the heels) or I’m not sure how to pair them with my outfits (but I still like the shoes). I did a massive purge last year and got rid of everything I didn’t like (i.e., bright red flats I bought on a whim and Sperrys that I just don’t wear anymore). The issue is storage mostly because my shoes (in my partner’s words) take up the entire entryway and are a tripping hazard.

    9. Is your partner male?

      B/c I have tons more shoes than my husband. But he has something like 10 pairs of black sneakers. Explain that.

    10. Don’t ask me – I just took a quick look and I appear to have 29 pairs… in my office.

    11. I live in a smaller place with my husband, and have exactly 22 pairs of shoes. Sometimes, this feels like tons because the shoes are all stored together, and it visually looks like lots. My MIL has a large home, and it looks like she has less shoes, because they are spread out in various closets, and garage. On the rare occasion that she visit and sees the ten pairs lined up in the entrance closer, is appears that I have lots as they are all out.
      I actually have a small notebook where I draw all my shoes, and the date they were acquired and let go of. Currently , I have:
      One pair of new balance runners
      One pair of gym runners
      One pair leather Ecco runners
      One pair of sporty canvass runners/ booties
      Three pairs of Naot sling backs
      Three sandals of varying heights, and dressiness
      Two fancier suede la canadienne boots with a one inch heel
      One pair of black suede boots kne high
      Knee high brown boots
      Mid calf grey boots
      Mid calf lace up boots
      Black suede blondo booties
      Rain gumboots
      Slippers
      One pair of low heat gold shoes that looks retro, and I’m keeping in case I am invited to a roaring 20s party…one can hope:)
      One pair of Mary Jane shoes, that are also retro
      A pair of wedge shoes that are two inches and my highest heel…not sure if I can wear anymore, so on the fence with this- bought them in Europe, and they are pretty, so may keep. I have lots of foot pain and issues, so cute and comfy is something I’m on the lookout for.
      I will be adding some new loafer type shoes, boots, and a low wedge, and donating a couple of worn out boots.
      I live in a city and walk most places, and I stand most of the day at work, so my shoes all,have to be comfy, and cute.

    13. Ha! I have 12 pairs of shoes just at work! I also have more work shoes at home. Under 25 pairs of shoes seems completely reasonable, and really low to me. 25-50 is my guess at what average is for women who work in a business casual or more formal environment. Over 50 and perhaps you could consider downsizing. I don’t think excessive starts until after 60 or so and even then there could be reasons!

      Here’s what I have (to the best of my ability to remember!):
      black wedges
      black block heels (these hurt)
      tan block heels
      grey heels
      grey snakeskin heels
      3 pairs black flats (one hurts and I should give away, one on last legs)
      2 pairs maroon wedges (one hurts and I should give away)
      blue suede flats
      nude patent heels
      black patent heels
      2 pair nude flats
      blue suede heels from my wedding
      purple fancy occasion heels
      Silver fancy occasion heels
      2 pairs of commuting flats
      1 pair gym shoes
      1 pair cute sneakers
      rain boots (not comfortable should give away)
      black flip flops
      brown flip flops (last legs)
      black wedge sandals
      black block heel sandals (these rub but only in one spot and are so cute and practical otherwise-argh!)
      tan sandals
      3 pair old navy flip flops (one pair live at the gym)
      2 pairs black booties (one suede, one leather)
      1 pair crocs
      1 pair multicolor crocs sandals
      blue peep toe wedges (these I never wear for some reason but I’m not sure why)
      winter hiking boots
      summer hiking boots
      old summer hiking boots that I now wear to walk dog / do yardwork
      water shoes
      3 pairs knee high black boots (flat, suede, high heel)
      1 pair brown knee high black boots

      I think that is 43 and I’m probably forgetting some …

  24. Has anyone ever used Intrepid Travel? My family (parents + 2 teenagers) would love to do an African safari and their prices are good, but maybe too good? Any other recommendations?

    1. Piper & Heath. I’m not sure where they rank pricing-wise – I don’t think their itineraries are cheap but they always seem reasonable to me for what you get. Co-owners are a married couple, husband is a native Namibian, they live in San Diego, conservation-minded.

    2. We used Rothschild Safari and I can’t recommend them highly enough. They listened to what we wanted and built us the perfect trip.

    4. I did an African safari with GAdventures, which is a competitor to Intrepid. We would often see an Intrepid trip, but I don’t have direct experience with them in Africa. (I did travel with Intrepid in Asia once, and had a great trip.) I loved my trip with G. It was great to not have to worry about getting between destinations, I got to see a ton, and the guides were knowledgeable. I highly recommend it for anyone who is willing to do a more-group style trip and doesn’t want to plan it themselves.

      I will note that I think it tends to be more adults. My tour was over 2 months, so was with multiple different groups. Between the apprx. 40 people I traveled with (at different points, it was never more than 12 at a time), only 2 were teenagers. They had a great time, but wanted to raise that point if it is something you would be concerned about. They may have tours that are more for families, I didn’t look.

    5. I’ve used Intrepid a couple of times, but it was about a decade ago. I originally started traveling with them because they didn’t impose an extra fee for solo travelers, though that occasionally meant sharing a room with another solo. My tours were well-run, with very knowledgeable guides, reasonable accommodations (not deluxe, but clean and safe), nicely-paced days, and interesting companions. It seemed like the crowd tended to skew young, probably because of the pricing, and international — one of of the trips, I was the only American. My trips with them were in the Middle East, North Africa, and South America.

    6. I just (last month) went on a safari to Tanzania and Kenya with a South African company called Jenman African Safaris, and in our group of 10 people, there was a family with two children (one a teenager, the other in her 20s). We chose this company because it was mid-range in price between a camping safari (which, nope) and the luxury “glamping” kind of safari. Our safari was amazing – great guides, excellent lodges/tented camps, good food. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

    7. It may be too late for you to see this, but wanted to add that I’m a big Intrepid fan! I’ve now done 6 Intrepid trips to Asia, Europe and Africa, on my own and as part of a couple. I like that there are different kinds of trips based on what you’re after (I don’t do the camping kind, that’s not my thing) & that there’s good info on how physically demanding they are, so you can choose appropriately (great when I travelled with my mum). Let me know if you have any specific questions, happy to share my experiences

  25. Fellow west coasters…
    I don’t remember summer smoke being such a regular thing when I was growing up. But now it seems like there are major fires every summer – what has changed? I’m in NorCal

    1. Climate change. Outside magazine writes about wildfires frequently if you want to check out their analysis. Also in NorCal and it’s definitely worse than ever.

    3. – effects of climate change
      – land use changes
      – wildfire suppression campaigns
      – fire deficit in the 1900s

        1. Thanks. I’m OP. I didn’t think it was solely climate change.

          I’ll ignore the rude response below.

      1. This is so unnecessarily rude. Hope your day improves.

        Check out the New York Times piece on causes of the fires (Behind Most Wildfires, a Person and a Spark: ‘We Bring Fire With Us’). While global warming plays a huge role, over-development is a huge issue that is not discussed (at least for those of us outside the state). It goes a little more in-depth on the causes 11:36 Anon posted above.

  26. Anyone think they currently live in a place that’s too “cosmopolitan” Grew up in a NJ suburb 2+ hours from NYC – very suburban. Very white and Asian, no public transit, no visible homelessness/drug use, rare to have 1 ESL kid in the whole school. Now live in Arlington Va which everyone tells me is such a desirable place in the DC area and housing values suggest desirability as well and yet, IDK I think the place I grew up was far more desirable.

    1. Nope? I grew up in Chatham NJ. It was rich and white and lovely, but as an adult I see how limited the world view was and how constrained the opportunities really were. I’d love to raise my kids somewhere with real diversity. I don’t see how being “cosmopolitan” is bad unless you’re racist.

    2. The DMV neighborhoods are microcosms. I don’t love many parts of Arlington bc they do feel too urban and not suburban enough for me – I lived in a part of Alexandria that was like Leave it to Beaver and loved it. It’s a block by block thing. Maybe there’s a different microcosm that would suit you better. If you’re renting, try checking out other areas.

      1. Where in Alexandria? I’m in Arlington for the close commute and everyone tells me it’s so great in north Arlington from the new high rises to the small homes close to the metro (like within a half mile). And yet — homeless people, everywhere I go shopping in actual suburbia in Falls Church, at least 50% of the population isn’t speaking English so I can imagine that’s how the schools are too. IDK I expect more from a high priced area.

        3. It makes me feel so hopeless that there are people like you who are so selfish and so cruel, with no empathy for other human beings. How will the world ever become a better place with people like you standing in the way?

      1. She means diverse and “real”. Too diverse. Too many real people problems that she shouldn’t have to be subjected to with higher housing and tax costs.

    4. I guess you prefer a more suburban, socially and ethnically homogenous environment with no visible signs of what people who are less socially and ethnically homogenous go through?

    6. So you’re saying your current neighborhood isn’t white enough?

      Maybe you should consider getting over that.

      2. Yeah that was my impression of this post too – wow only one ESL student. How lucky you were!

        Crawl back under your rock.

        1. Some of us pay good money for the neighborhood to look and act a certain way – so sue me. Besides I have no problems with Asians – smart, successful, respectful and they speak English.

          2. Asians in white NJ suburbs tend to have doctor, lawyer, banker $$$ so I think what you’re looking for is more economically homogenous. Bethesda and McLean are your best bets but longer commute and I wouldn’t rent because anyone can rent there and then you could have neighbors who aren’t doctors or lawyers.

          3. You are just making yourself sound more racist the more you comment. So, what Asians are the good minority, but others are not acceptable?

          4. She is NOT racist. She just prefers certain people she would rather live with. Personaly, I get a long with everyone and live in NYC, the melting pot of the world. As an attorney, I have been trained to do whatever the client wants, and that makes for good busness. The same goes for living arrangements. If I want to live in a nice place, I will have to pay the price for doing so and as long as it is legal, I say go for it. I would NEVER countenance allowing discrimination against people who can otherwise afford my apartement on the prohibited basis of race, color, creed, etc. If they can pay the rent, fine! Otherwise, FOOEY! That does NOT make me a racist. Perhaps an elitist, but NOT a racist!!!!!

            YAY!!!

      3. Yeah maybe I am misunderstanding but this comment is.. strange. I live in one of the most diverse cities in North America. I’m very much looking forward to raising my children in a place where they can interact with so many different cultures and be exposed to multiple world views. Crime is quite low in my city and not a concern for me. Its sounds like we don’t have the same definition of “desirable” – you do you, but I’m not sure what you are trying to say.

      4. Yes, I have another comment in mod that is not quite so diplomatic, but that was my take too. Gasp! People who aren’t as white or wealthy as you living within walking distance! I really hope this post was just trolling.

    7. I’m confused. Do you want to live somewhere overwhelmingly white and Asian where you can pretend homelessness and drug use don’t exist because the socioeconomics of your neighborhood hide them from you? Then, cool I guess, go live someplace less “cosmopolitan”.

      Personally I find overwhelmingly white suburbs creepy, fake, and insular. So I’ve never lived in one of those places and don’t want to. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    8. Homelessness and rampant drug use really tear a place apart. That’s why San Francisco has been getting so much bad press and is losing out on big conferences. I used to think that people escaping to the suburbs was all about white flight, but out here, it’s about not wanting to step on syringes outside your kid’s school.

      1. Kids stepping on syringes at playgrounds is a legit risk in Seattle and it’s just as risky out in the ‘burbs as it is downtown.

        I’m also a bit taken aback by the rampant, out in the open drug use. I literally saw someone shooting up with their toddler next to them. It’s devastating, horrible, and I don’t think the average person has any clue how to help. I write checks to organizations engaged in the cause, but there has to be something between writing a check and letting someone live rent free in my basement.

        1. You can carry Narcan in your purse, learn how to use it, and educate others to do the same. That’s what you can do.

      2. Yes, this. The OP comes across undiplomatic but I agree with the point that at some level “success” means that I and my children don’t feel threatened when we step our house or go about our normal day. Does “success” mean something different to you? That’s fine, and we all have our own risk assessments.

        The below happened just a few months ago at a dealership blocks away from my home and where I’ve taken my car.

        https://www.ajc.com/news/national/police-woman-raped-seattle-car-dealership-bathroom/dPL33y65lMlMXpe6rYVhsK/

        There is also a person sleeping in their car literally in front of my house every night. Every morning, there are drug-related items left out on the grass area lining the sidewalk my kid plays on. The person uses our trash can for, from what we can tell, his own poop. Like, I’m glad you’re putting it in the trash but why should I have human sh*t in my garbage can to begin with? I have reported it to the police and they DGAF because that’s Seattle’s policy. So the idea of moving the heck out of here and someplace the people haven’t ruined yet has certainly crossed my mind. I don’t know why we treat homeless people like they’re some kind of untouchable magic faeries and not PEOPLE. Like every one of them is just one kind word away from total reformation. There are disrespectful people everywhere, and some of them are homeless. Where as non-homeless sh*tty people can contain it within their homes, disrespectful homeless people are bringing their sh*ttiness out in the open and affecting everyone with it. I’d rather be in a place with a smaller concentration of the latter. We are so quick here to give advice about dumping incompatible men – what about getting away from other hurtful and bothersome life factors? Why is this such an untouchable subject?

        1. Oh christ. I’m really supposed to believe that rich OP hanging out in her Arlington suburb was complaining about stepping on needles? She just was not. You are intentionally misconstruing what she said and what other posters have said, and there’s no other way to put it. No one was arguing that people should be forced to live somewhere they feel unsafe. She was just being openly racist and that’s not difficult to see.

          “I don’t know why we treat homeless people like they’re some kind of untouchable magic faeries and not PEOPLE.”

          Well, you’re right that we don’t treat them like people. Half way there!

    9. Who cares? Wow, you like one type of suburbia (white suburbia) more than another. Alert the media! Hey guys! DAE have preferences!?!? I’m being harsh because I’m irritated by the sound of your dog whistle. We know what you’re asking.

    10. Okay, so you want rich and white and to not be confronted with visible evidence of any social or public health problems.

    11. Yes! My neighborhood is sooooo cosmopolitan. There’s nothing but b-list movie stars with their boobs arranged to look like babies’ butts and sex tips involving scrunchies and donuts as far as the eye can see! It’s dreadful.

      (Wait. Do you mean diverse? Your neighborhood is too diverse for your tastes. In that case, you suck as a person.)

    12. Uh, America in general is more diverse now?
      FWIW my husband grew up in a midwestern college town and also hated living in DC, and we lived all over the metro area there. We’re now in the Southeast US and he’s way happier.
      What makes a place more “desirable”? Personally having grown up in the sunbelt, I like newer houses that are unlikely to have ever had lead paint in them. To each her own.

      1. Some of the NJ towns where I can guess OP grew up aren’t that diverse even now – that’s what she’s looking for but with big city job prospects.

        1. Mostly the expense and the snobbery and the lack of college football atmosphere.
          He’s not racist like the OP. I met his ESL friends from high school :) He’s so…. cosmopolitan

          1. “He’s not racist, he has ESL friends.” That is not the test for whether a person is racist.

      1. Shocked everyone couldn’t tell. I bet this is the same person who often posts here about how much she dislikes people who don’t speak English.

    14. Love all the screaming at OP. I get what she’s saying and I tend to agree esp when it comes to buying a property because it’s a long commitment. For all of you yelling – show of hands, how many bought in an neighborhood that’s less than 80% white? How many did NOT make it a priority to buy in the “best” district which is the polite way to say what OP is saying? How many of you have neighbors whose professions/incomes are wildly different/lower than yours? I’ll wait . . . .

      1. Me. BERKELEY. I love where I live. My kids attend diverse schools and are getting a great education. We do not live in the hills.

        1. I’m not OP, but I just left Berkeley because I didn’t feel safe walking at night there – and that was on the North side. There are way too many armed robberies now.

      2. I do, on all counts. That said, I haven’t commented here and people should live wherever they want. Otherwise, I don’t share OP’s perspective

      3. IKR? People are being totes harsh. It’s like, so unfair. I totally get what she’s saying. I HATE stepping over all the homeless people on my way from a mani/pedi. Hello, I just got my toes done, they’re still wet, and you’re in my way with your body and your only worldly possessions that you’re trying to keep dry. I do leg lifts in barre class, thank you, don’t need to be doing extra stepping over you and your needles. The fact that you have no where to live and not enough to eat and not enough medical care and thus are visible to me makes me uncomfortable and *my* discomfort is unacceptable.

        I can’t even tell you to get out of my way, because you don’t speak English! Oh, wait, that’s right. Mexicans are taking our jobs, they’re not homeless. Reframe: I’m irritated that someone whom I would never deign to talk to refuses to learn my language.

      4. I do. It’s advertised as America’s most diverse zip code. And I feel guilty for adding to the gentrification of my neighborhood and that I perhaps took a house from a family that needed it more?

      5. *raises hand* I specifically chose my neighborhood for the diversity – both ethnic and socioeconomic. My friend’s nanny lives here, as does the shoe repair guy, as do many professionals (including me) and everyone in between. Tons of immigrants, interracial couples, and people who have been in the US for multiple generations. It has great public schools, and also great restaurants. And yes I own and have a kid.

      6. So, I’m white. My husband is black. We bought in a gentrifying neighborhood where we have neighbors of all stripes. We also have a HHI north of $500K. It’s important to me to send my future kids to schools that are diverse.

        Since I pass your test, am I allowed to think this woman’s racist? That it’s horrifying and hurtful that she would think less of my husband or my kids because they’re not white?

      7. Me. ATL. Love my working class diverse neighbors. I’m white, but stark white areas make me feel really uneasy.

    15. Please go consult with your friend, David Duke. This English-speaking Asian wouldn’t want to live next to you no matter what.

    16. Ahahaha, I was just explaining to my husband last night how much I hate Arlington for how drearily white bread it is and miss the District. So, while I loathe Arlington, it’s the lack of the “cosmopolitan” that gets to me.

  27. Ladies, have we discussed classic women’s button down shirts lately? What fits, what doesn’t, what wrinkles beyond recognition? The last one I had was in college – and it was attached to a VS bodysuit haha, so I need a little guidance ;)

    2. I’ve given up on classic button downs. Matte silk (or imitation fabrics) feels more modern, and the fluid drape makes it easier to find a good fit… a silk blouse with a bit of slouch to it looks elegant; a too-voluminous cotton top just looks puffy and awkward.

    4. MMLF Lagarde is the only one I’ve kept in my closet. All the others didn’t fit my moderately-large-busted self/wrinkled/were too much work.

    5. I don’t know what your body type is so it’s hard to give advice, but I’ve had good luck lately (oddly enough) with the slim cut button downs from Charles Tyrwhitt which is a men’s brand but accommodates my large rib cage but small bust well. Never pay full price, their stuff goes on deep discount all the time.

      Otherwise, for women’s cut shirts, I like Brooks Brothers.

      Those are both for suit-style button downs, for silk-blends I’ve had good luck with WHBM, Pendleton, and….maybe it was Boden? I don’t remember anymore.

  28. I iron/steam my clothes that I just laundered on Sunday. I usually do my laundry on Saturday so that by Sunday the things I hung up are dry and then I steam/iron them before I take them back to my closet. Then I sort of put together my outfits for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have every outfit planned, but as I’m putting my clothes back that I just washed/ironed I sort of group items that I want to wear that week. Like I’ll wear these pants and these skirts with these blouses, etc. but then in the mornings I just go to this section to pull from. It’s so nice to know that everything in my closet is ironed/steamed and ready to wear and saves a ton of time.

Comments are closed.