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I've written before of my love of pretty file folders — it just makes me smile to have my Serious Grown Up Stuff (estimated tax payments or receipts or whee) in a hot pink file folder or whatnot.
(ALTHOUGH I have changed my filing practices a lot since we last discussed how to store bills — now I just ditch most bills after I pay them because, readers correctly noted, why keep a paper trail when it's all online.)
These pretty file folders look perfect for keeping at the office or at home — they're apparently inspired by the Japanese artist, Katsushika Hokusai. I like that the tabs are colorful, as well.
The 12 pack of folders is $17.99 at Target.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Psst — a few other pretty file folders!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Texas
Can anyone comment on at-home covid test reliability and, secondarily, ease of use? Although vaccinated and continuing to live a pretty stay-at-home 2020-type life, my husband and I are becoming increasingly concerned we will get infected sooner or later. While we would absolutely go get PCR tests from our doctor’s office, I’m also interested in the at-home tests.
Anon
They’re pretty accurate and easy to use (self-administered nasal swab). If you get a positive, I would recommend confirming with a PCR test because (if nothing else) an at-home test won’t be reported to your state. I just bought a bunch to test my 3 year old when she brings home bugs from daycare or we get a notification that she was exposed. I don’t personally see a lot of point in testing if you’re asymptomatic and have no known exposure, but I guess you could.
Allie
You don’t have to go to your doctor for PCR tests – at least near us there are a ton of private testing companies that are quick, easy, and take insurance. We have drive through sites where you can register in advance and not even get out of the car. I’d just google “PCR test near me” and look at the results.
Anonymous
The drive-thru sites are full in many places. They are in my area. You have to book 3 days in advance (which doesn’t do much good if you have symptoms) and even then there may not be anything within a 100 mile radius.
Anon
Same. Unvaxxed kid (too young) is back at school. I am sure it is just a matter of time even though we are vaxxed. I’m also wanting to know if anyone knows what a breakthrough infection symptoms might be like — ambiguous? Straightforward (loss of taste/smell)?
I ordered some Binax tests from a chain drugstore’s website but just put them in a closet to have on hand.
Anon
It varies SO MUCH. I know vaxxed people who had severe flu-like illness with high fevers and severe coughing, I know some who had mild flu symptoms like low grade fever and just feeling wiped out, and I know some who just felt like they had a sinus infection or cold (sneezing, runny nose, stuffy head etc. but no fever or severe fatigue). Some who lost their sense of taste and smell but it seems like that symptom isn’t as common as it was before.
Anone
My older child who had just 1 shot (was scheduled to get 2nd shot the day he tested positive for COVID) had flu-like symptoms for 2-3 days. Not severe, but he had a low grade fever, body aches, and pinkeye.
AugNon
Anecdotally, I’ve heard Delta is more runny nose/cold symptoms than Alpha (more cough/congestion).
Anonymous
https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/blog/at-home-covid-antigen-tests/
No Face
Thank you for this link. I used an Ellume test to verify my daughter’s last cold was just a cold. Glad to see its sensitivity and specificity figures are so high! I appreciated doing it at home instead of wrangling a sick kid into the car.
Anon
i just attended a meeting for my kids’ school about covid protocols and the doctors leading the call spoke about these. they said that if a test comes back positive, you can assume you are positive, but that there are a lot of false negatives, so you’d want to get a PCR test as well if the at-home test is negative
Anon
The specificity of home tests and other RADT is less than PCR and in low COVID prevalence situations (especially asymptomatic testing) false positives (and the resulting unnecessary quarantine) is more of an issue than false negatives.
Anon
+1 that doctor doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Anon
Or maybe the doctor was just really trying to get people to keep their sick kids home. I’ve already heard of two local cases where kids who tested positive were sent to school anyway because their were asymptomatic or the parents didn’t think they were “that sick.” And the reason I’ve heard about these is because those kids went on to infect other kids at school and then we got notified about positive cases on campus.
Anon
I absolutely agree that any child who has known Covid exposure, let alone a positive test themselves, should stay home. But I don’t think frustration about parents doing the wrong thing justifies giving misinformation about test accuracy to a large group of people, many of whom are well-intentioned and not going to break the rules. I think it’s a slippery slope from that to misinformation about vaccines and other things that can be really dangerous.
Anonymous
It depends on the test, but you can take two in a row. It’s pretty unlikely to get two false negatives.
Anon
That is not necessarily true. If your viral load is low, it doesn’t matter if you take hourly RADT tests, they don’t work with low viral load.
Anonymous
The key to getting trustworthy antigen test results is testing frequently. “Serial testing boosts sensitivity,” said Christoper Brooke, an infectious diseases expert at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. “The odds that you’re going to test negative twice when you’re infected are much lower than the odds that you’re going to test negative once.”
From the NYT/Wirecutter review above.
Anon
The odds are less, but they are not zero. It all depends on the test performance and the viral load of the infected person (this is assuming no issues with test collection and handling).
Anon
Thank you poster at 6:23. We can’t just make up things to try to get people to do the right thing. That is only going to lead to more distrust. It’s not that hard of a concept, rapid antigen tests are not as accurate as PCR. If you test positive, you need to quarantine or confirm with a PCR (appropriate in asymptomatic patients).
Anon
It depends. There is a large range of sensitivity and specificity for the at-home COVID tests. In general PCR test performance is better than all the RADT. This is especially true if they are used for asymptomatic testing. Serial testing can help, but there are still issues with that approach. Test collection and handling also make a difference. The sensitivities and specificities you see listed are what was found in the clinical trials for EUA submission – so in the real world the performance is likely worse. Here is a good overview, while it is not the actual research, this is a reputable source. https://www.darkdaily.com/2021/06/02/popular-science-review-finds-seven-at-home-covid-19-antigen-tests-easy-to-use-and-an-important-tool-to-slow-spread-of-the-coronavirus/
CB
They are easy to use. In the UK, we get 7 a week free. We test before gatherings and my husband has to check before heading back into the office each week. School kids are also supposed to check 2x a week. I’ve read the rapid flow tests are less accurate with symptomatic cases so if we are ill or feel at all funny, we just go through the drive through testing, But I think testing is much more available here, I could get a test within an hour, results within 24, and asymptomatic testing with very little effort.
Anon
I think you have that backward. The RADT performs better when there is a high viral load, this typically correlates with more advanced disease and clinical symptoms. PCR is better (because it is more sensitive and specific) for asymptomatic testing. The guidance for PCR testing when symptomatic is likely to catch cases sooner. Positive results from RADT should be confirmed with PCR, so this recommendation just speeds that process (because symptomatic people are more likely to test positive).
Anonymous
We use them. I preferred the rapid testing at Walgreens, which was free and returned results in under an hour. I think it might be the same exact test, but you didn’t have to pay for it. My second choice would be drive-thru PCR testing at a Walgreens or CVS, which returns results in a couple days. But unfortunately with the Delta surge, it’s impossible to get appointments at Walgreens or CVS in my city. I checked last week and the nearest appointment was more than 200 miles away. I really don’t want to go into a doctor’s office or my university employer’s health center, where I will have near certain Covid exposure, unless it’s absolutely necessary. So we bought the kits to test at home if we have symptoms or exposure.
AugNon
We purchased a box or two to have on hand during times when it’s not easy to get to a PCR test, and surprisingly went through 4 tests (2 boxes) in the space of a week due to runny nosed kids and a potential exposure of a vaccinated person.
My understanding is that the BinaxNOW works best on symptomatic cases, so good to confirm that a sore through/runny nose isn’t COVID, but is somewhat less accurate for asymptomatic cases, and overall pretty good in terms of accuracy, though not as good as PCR. I am in an area that is only moderately on fire right now, but seeing how it’s harder to get quick test results in other areas of the country, I went out and ordered a few more boxes to have on hand just in case.
JTM
A few months ago I got a SodaStream Fizzi – I really like being able to make fizzy water on demand, but I feel like my water isn’t fizzy enough? Are there any tips and tricks that I can try out? Or do I need a higher end version of the SodaStream to really enjoy it?
anon
dont know about the fizzi, but on mine i just press the button a couple more times than recommended for more fizz.
Anonymous
+1 – I do 5 buzzes. Just keep adding more carbonation. If it stops buzzing you need a new cylinder.
Anon
I’ve never been able to get water from a SodaStream fizzy enough for my tastes.
Anonymous
Maybe you need a new CO2 canister? If there’s a Bed Bath & Beyond near you they often take back old ones and give you a $15 discount on new ones when you trade them in.
Landscaping tips?
When we moved into our house it had decent landscaping, but we didn’t maintain it and now six years later we’re finally having someone rip it out and start over. It was also never really to my tastes – it was heavy on shrubby and light on flowers. I know I want more flowers, especially irises and peonies. I know both those flowers bloom for a relatively short amount of time around the same time, so I’m concerned it will look really bare and sparse the rest of the year. Should I add flowers that bloom at other times of year to balance those out? Any general tips? I’m working with a company and I kind of thought I could just tell them “I like these flowers and this is my budget” and they would give me options but they are expecting way more guidance from me than I expected and I know nothing about landscaping except which flowers I think look pretty. Help!
Anonymous
Be realistic! The reason you see suburbs full of shrubs and lawn is because they are easy. Do you want to learn to garden and work at it?
Landscaping tips?
No, I want to pay the landscapers to maintain it for me and they said can do that.
Anon
You can hire a landscape designer to help you with this. It’ll be under $1k in most areas for a standard front-of-house design.
Anon
Call almost any independent garden center and they’ll have someone on staff.
Anonymous
+1 – my mom used to do this for a small garden center. If you are ripping out your whole yard it is probably worth it. You need to consider climate, amount of sunlight in specific spots (e.g. your house may shade areas close to it, trees provide some shade, etc) and level of watering and maintenance you are willing to put up with.
Landscaping tips?
The company I’m working with has landscape design services and they’ve said they’re going to draw up plans and present them to me. The problem is just that they seem to expect a lot of input from me and I don’t know anything. We’ve been on their waiting list since mid-2020 and everyone else has year long waiting lists too so the timeline would be pushed back another year if we drop them, and I really want some flowers planted soon to bloom next spring. I’m sick and tired of how gross the outside of my house looks.
Anonymous
Try looking at landscape photos to figure out what you like. I have fun browsing home improvement sites like Houzz and they always have a ton of galleries to click through.
Try searching phrases like “low maintenance landscape,” “kid friendly,” “large yard,” “small yard,” “full sun,” or whatever describes your lot and your goals for the space.
Anonnymouse
A lot of this VERY much depends on where you live, your climate, and the amount of sun and shade you get. So, if you want to give us those details, the group may have some specific suggestions!
However, to answer your question – yes, typically you plan on replacing annuals (the ones that die after the season) based on what will survive at the time. Also, if you have perennials that die back in the winter, you can sub in something that will look good over winter.
For me, living in North Texas, we have short and mild winters, so I usually just wait out the fallow period (maybe mulch) vs try and plant new things for the winter.
If the company you’re working with isn’t the kind that can give you specific suggestions for your area, you may want to work with a master gardener or landscaper/landscape architect that is familiar with your climate.
Daffodil
I worked with a landscaping company to do this two years ago; I have a fairly large space in my front yard that I needed to fill after moving into my house. They had a person at the company designated to help plan landscaping like this, which made it easier. I had no idea what I really wanted, besides something that was relatively easy to maintain, and had some color.
End result: I now have multiple types of flowers and bushes, and from spring to fall something usually is in bloom (I’m in DC). I also have a range of heights (more so in a few years once the bushes grow). I won’t be able to name them all, but they include irises, daffodils, azaleas, hydrangeas, ferns, catmint, lavender, viburnum, popcorn rose bushes, yucca, and wisteria. They need a few more years, but eventually will grow to fill the space.
I’d also recommend walking around your neighborhood to see what other people have grown – I was able to at least get a sense of what most of these things looked like in person, rather than just in online photos, to see if there was anything in particular I liked and didn’t like.
Senior Attorney
Second the suggestion of walking around the neighborhood to get ideas. And take photos that you can show to your landscaping people.
Sunflower
I’d also buy an app called PictureThis. You can take pictures of plants in your neighborhood on your phone and the app will identify the plants. It’s a little expensive as apps go but it’s really been worth it to me. I must have been absent from school the day everyone learned the names of trees, flowers, and plants!
Calrayo
I’m in the middle of a landscaping project right now! Take some walks around your neighborhood specifically to look at what looks nice and seems to thrive. That always gives me good ideas for what’ll actually do well. A local nursery can also point you in the right direction. I like a lot of flowering shrubs to keep color going through the seasons. It depends where you are, but a lot of sages (salvias) bloom for a good chunk of the spring/summer and have beautiful color. Think about if your yard gets a lot of sun, shade, or in between; whether you have to deal with heat/drought or other conditions, and plan accordingly. Again, knowledgeable staff at a nursery should be able to help (“I want something that brings some nice color for a dry, south-facing garden” gives them a lot to work with). Good luck!
Of Counsel
The short answer is yes. You should have plants which will look nice outside of the bloom season for those two flowers.
Where do you live? This is highly location dependent. Do you have full sun? (Hopefully yes for irises and peonies.)
Landscaping tips?
Midwest, a little south of Chicago. This is my front yard and not under an overhang or anything, so I think it’s pretty sunny.
Anonymous
If you’re working from home, this is a great time of day to see what kind of sun you get. Landscapers like to talk in terms of northern / southern / western / eastern exposure for a particular garden bed, and hours of daylight and whether that bed gets morning or afternoon sun – the afternoon sun is more intense. This is very dependent on how your house is cited, not just whether you have an overhang there.If you can track these things for a couple of days you’ll have a much better outcomes.
Walnut
Daffodils, tulips, crocus in the spring. Salvia, rudbeckia and coreopsis for the summer. Mums and sedum in the fall, and some shrub grasses for winter interest.
Anon
Have your landscapers plant flowering shrubs and perennials and leave room for you to stick in annuals for bright, immediate blooms. You need to read about the differences between these things, and figure out what’s right for your climate. I really recommend getting a good book appropriate for your climate and learning a bit about different types of plants before directing your landscaper. Generally, garden beds have a mix of all of these things, and are oriented so that the tallest is in the back and the shortest is in the front. The best, most current plantings also have herbs and seasonal vegetables interspersed.
anon
Ask your landscaper for “multi-season interest.” I love irises and peonies, too, but they look nice for such a short period. You’ll definitely need other stuff to fill out the space. Also ask for a mix of bushes/shrubs, perennial flowers, with options for adding annuals if you want to.
It also helps to tell them if you’re working with a particular color scheme.
Anonymous
I wanted flowers and color when we moved to the ‘burbs, and it’s been a slow process to find the answer you want: container gardening. Flowers in the ground are a lot of work — deadheading and more — and they often only look nice for a week, max (irises, peonies). Sometimes the part that’s left after they bloom looks horrible (daffodils). Flowering shrubs are OK — butterfly bushes, Knock out roses, lily of the valley, hydrangeas, hibiscus, etc — but stay away from flowers.
Instead get some nice planters, put them where you can see them often, and buy annuals each year. Google “thriller/filler/spiller.”
If you want to, keep a “cut flower garden” somewhere near your house for daisies or peonies that you can cut and put in vases in your house. But watch out for bugs. And keep in mind the cut flower garden won’t necessarily look nice by itself.
Anon
In addition to what everyone else said, it’s also something that develops over time. I have a cottage garden that has eighty million plants for variety. There are things that bloom early (daffodil, hyacinth, lily of the valley, spanish bluebell, primrose, columbine), then in the next wave (canterbury bells, iris, peony, spiderwort, penstemon, coreopsis, astilbe, dianthus, catmint, lavender, phlox), and the next (hollyhock, coneflower, rudbeckia, galliarda, agastache, aster, mums). That is interspersed with annuals, some of which I start indoors (lisianthus, painted tongue, pansies, petunia) and some I direct sow (zinnia, cosmos, morning glory, balsam, marigold). Then I have shrubs/trees (like azalea, roses, japanese maple).
Due to the time of year focus on anchor plants/ shrubs, available perennials, and fall planted bulbs. Leave spaces when you don’t know where things will go. Next summer when blooms die down you can plant more things and add on to the collection. It’s also generally not a big deal to dig up small stuff and move it around.
Anonymous
Your garden sounds very lovely!
Anon
Southern Living and Sunset magazines have great gardening content, including articles on creating “multi-season interest” in your yard/garden that show different plants, appropriate for different USDA zones, that will work in each season. I focus on planting bulbs that bloom early spring through late spring and from there, I have perennial wildflowers and native ornamental grasses that take over. I also plant in containers, and for those I pick things that bloom at a certain time and then have nice foilage (“visual interest”) the rest of the year. I would recommend looking at some articles online and then bookmarking/printing out pictures of what you like so you can show your landscape designer and say “this is basically what I want my yard to look like but without a lot of work.”
Bear in mind that the things that will grow the easiest and require the least care and maintenance are the plants that are native to your area. I am in the Southwest and that’s especially true here; we have transplants come in who want peonies or hostas or bluegrass or other plants from where they came from in their yards, and are dismayed when everything they plant dies. To make it, plants here have to love sun and tolerate dry conditions, heat, and sandy alkaline soil; anything else is going to die quickly. You have conditions wherever you live that will similarly dictate the plants that will live easily or die quickly. Emphasize to your landscape designer you are looking for low-maintenance, close-to-native plantings and show them some pictures of what you like. They should be able to take it from there.
anona
I had the same issue and in somewhat similar zone as you (harsh cold winters, short summers) and did an online consult with someone I heard about from another friend who has a thriving garden. In less than $500 (depending on the size) she did an amazingly professional work guiding me through various decisions, including things I never even thought about: pests/watering/pets/my travels/soil building my habits etc as well as natives yet pretty gorgeous flowers that really helped me get the best out of the $$ I spent on landscaping/nursery who couldn’t be bothered to personalize their recommendations etc for my life. She has a different day job and this is a BIPOC small business so I don’t have a link to share but you can email her at gardenershelp0 (that is a zero) at mail of G.
Lap Desk
looking for a good quality lap desk to use while sitting on couch…adjustable height would be great….please recommend
Anonymous
Just a quick vent you can collapse if you want: but I’m so saddened that many of the most beautiful destinations in my state, California, are burning to the ground right now. I’m upset for the lose of structures and homes (and the associated terror) as well as the natural beauty. Lassen Volcanic National Park is my favorite park, Lake Tahoe is obviously world-famous for its beauty, and it’s just so hard to watch. Ugh. If anyone of you are there right now, I hope you are okay.
AnonMom
Just venting. My kid’s school just informed us that the attendance policy for absences means that unless we provide a doctor’s note, staying home (per the local health department order) awaiting a covid test result after a known exposure counts towards the yearly number of absences allowed before academic suspension. And get this: since school started last week, missing 3 days because labs are so backed up that test results are delayed means we already hit “more than 50% of the academic year to-date” in absences.
The thing is, our doctor’s office doesn’t write notes if they haven’t seen the kid for something. Since our kid wasn’t actually sick (at least, no symptoms), we didn’t make an appointment but just went for a free test from the local pharmacy. And the health department order says no going in-person if you are awaiting test results after known exposure. And zooming in for class doesn’t count as attending. So they are threatening academic suspension due to excessive absence. One week into the school year. For a straight-A student.
anne-on
What are the district’s policies? If this isn’t in line with those (or if the district’s policies are similarly insane) I would absolutely raise hell – local school board meetings, take it to the local news, contact mayor’s office, etc. If the child is doing the work and attending via Zoom this seems nuts.
Anonymous
This probably is the district policy
pugsnbourbon
+1 this is unreasonable. I bet you are not the only parent in this scenario; you’re always more powerful when you push back as a group.
Elegant Giraffe
+1 take your group to a school board meeting.
Anon
So they can suspend kids for following the Health Department orders? Raise hell. Get together with other parents and hire a lawyer if necessary.
Anon
Having put two kids through public school from k-12, never forget that just like in any other industry, it’s all about the money. For schools that is ADA (average daily attendance), where the money they receive is related to butts-in-seats. Over the course of my kids’ schooling years I received at least two official truancy notices based on my kids being out for totally legitimate things, but they didn’t generate ADA for the school. I just ignored them and nothing ever came of it. My kids both graduated on time, with honors of one form or another, and both are in college now. This had no bearing on anything.
This year is extraordinary. Fight it if you must, because you will win, but first take a deep breath and wait to see if it ever becomes a fight. It probably won’t. Do the right thing by your kid and let the chips fall where they may.
Anonymous
+1 on the taking a deep breath and waiting to see if it becomes a fight. I’ve also had a child out of school already for 4 days this year too (we get 10 in our district though). Technically we’re in the same position. This waiting for test results counts at this point. That said, I’m not losing my mind yet. Given how bad things are, I suspect things will change. Just keep track of when you were tested and the results so you can document it if and when it matters.
Anonymous
So their policy is “send them in”??!! What is this!? Holy moly.
Anonymous
Our district is this way too. They are also defining exposure so narrowly that they hardly have to test or quarantine anyone. It’s all about the $$$.
Anonymous
I would get the COVID tests at the doctor’s office from now on. I would also tip off the local media about the Catch-22 that the district has created for parents.
At least your district takes a doctor’s note. Our district counts all absences, excused or unexcused, against the limit.
Anon
I don’t know if this helps, since it obviously doesn’t matter to the people who have lost homes or who are frightened about evacuating and dealing with smoke, but fire is natural and an incredibly important part of the ecology of California and the entire west. It’s true that some of this is affected by climate change (and changes in land management), but there have always been fires, even really big ones, and that’s a huge part of what’s created the natural beauty of California. I don’t want to diminish your sadness, because there will be some real changes as the climate changes, and we should mourn them, but we have to figure out how to live with fire, and probably more of it in the form of regular, controlled burns, not just see it as the enemy. I live in a part of CA with regular fires, so I really understand how scary it is, but just like there would be no mountains without earthquakes, there would be totally different plants and animals without fire, and you shouldn’t think of it as destroying the beauty of the state- it’s one of the key forces that’s formed it.
Anonymous
Can you post that message again when people aren’t fleeing for their lives? There’s a time and a place.
Anon
Threading fail, but just trying to help OP, who talked more about natural beauty than people’s lives, though I suspect we’d both agree that’s most important. I feel like it should really go without saying that we don’t want people to die in fires and hope for the best for everyone dealing with this right now- I’ve evacuated for fires before, and it’s terrifying! Assume good intentions, rather than reading the worst into everything.
Anon
I agree with you that there is a time and a place, but I think this was just a nestig fail from poster and she was probably responding to a post above which soecifically spoke of destroyed natural beauty.
Anon
Yeah it was clearly a response to the person saying they’re sad about the loss of natural beauty.
Anonymous
That is no doubt very easy to say from the comfort of your condo in the city or house in the burbs. But both SF and Santa Rosa have burned, so you might give a bit more consideration to how you would feel if someone posted this while your block or burb were on fire.
Anon
When did SF burn? 1906? And SR was 2017….
Online Dating
After getting out of a (not good) long term relationship, I tried on-line dating for the first time. I met someone who seemed great (polite, texted back right away, asked me out and kept asking me out, easy to talk to, genuinely seemed kind and open).
We’ve been seeing each other a couple of times a week for a month and agreed before starting to garden that we wouldn’t garden with anyone else BUT my friend just figured out that he never deleted his profile. He’s been on-line dating for awhile so I am sure he is very familiar with how it works/it’s not a tech issue. That is a bad sign, right?
After the earlier post today, I’m beginning to think he’s someone who is just good at showing all the signs of being interested in a relationship without actually being in a committed relationship.
Do I try to figure any of this out or just cut my losses?
Anon
I think you’re catastrophizing. You should TALK to him first before you decide to dump him.
Online Dating
Thanks. I don’t really know how sensitive to be. I’m not sure where the line be reasonable and blind stupidity is with all this :(
Anonymous
I don’t think I have ever deleted a dating app profile in the situation you describe. I have just stopped using the service if it wasn’t relevant, but it wouldn’t occur to me to think somebody was using that as a measure of interest.
It’s quite possible that he’s like me, and just don’t think about the profile when not using it. (And a month isn’t long enough to do a digital tidying up.) It’s also possible that he’s actively using the profile and lying to you. I wouldn’t use this morning’s thread to decide which it is, that was a very different situation.
eertmeert
Ask him. “Hey, this isn’t something I was digging for, but my friend saw your profile is still active on XYZ. It threw me a little since we had talked about being exclusive for gardening. After that conversation I thought that also meant we weren’t seeing other people and I guess I also expected that meant we would deactivate our profiles. Did I miss something?”
I would make my tone matter of fact, just wanting to be on the same page sort of thing. The goal is him telling you what he actually wants/thinks, and not what he thinks you want to hear. I think his reaction to that will tell you a lot about where he is at.
Online Dating
Thanks, that sounds like a good approach
Anon
+1. Also, I’ve been online dating on and off for YEARS and sometimes I don’t do the full deletion of my profile because I don’t always pay attention. It has nothing to do with my commitment to the person I am dating. But yea you need to ask him.
Anon
I only delete my profile after it’s a real relationship, with exclusively defined and where we call each other girlfriend/boyfriend. Before that, I don’t generally use it if I’m seeing some but don’t delete.