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Updated: Oct 12, 2021 87 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Knotted Headband

Coffee Break

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I think I was updating an older story about hair accessories when I found Lele Sadoughi at Nordstrom — if you're on the hunt for upmarket hair accessories (the pictured headband is $65, for example) then you should definitely check the brand out. There's a collaboration with Lily Pulitzer, and I'd put the brand up there with hair accessory great brands Ficcare and France Luxe. (This knotted sweater headband is also stunning.)

For my $.02, I wouldn't wear headbands like this for a Big Day like an interview or court appearance — but I think they can look nice on Zoom calls as well as elevating a casual outfit at work in a preppy, pretty kind of way.

Some of the other nice hair accessories for work on the market right now…

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Sales of note for 9.10.24

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Horse Crazy

    Looking for some nice boxer briefs for my SO – a step up from the Hanes he buys himself, but maybe not the $34/pair price of Tommy John?! Or are they really worth it? I’d like to spend closer to $10/pair. Any suggestions from the men in your lives?

    • test run

      My husband likes Mack Weldon and Everlane, which a quick google confirms are…$32 and $24 dollars a piece, lol (I guess he’s fancier than I had realized). Looks like everlane does some 2 for $40, and maybe they go on sale? Having said all that, my personal favorite ones that he owns are Jockey – they’re a couple years old, but I think this might be the closest current version: https://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-mens-ultimate-freedom-boxer-brief?color=0030

    • anon

      Lucky (yes where you used to shop in high school) has good options in-between Hanes and Tommy John. Also, if he works out, Lululemon is surprisingly good, and last I recall not Tommy John prices. Hubs has really mixed thoughts on Tommy John, he refuses to admit they live up to the hype yet he wears them with a pretty high frequency. I will warn you, we all learned our lesson that husbands cannot be trusted with long underwear (unless you live in a cold climate) as a not insignificant number of them started wearing them at home.

    • KW

      DH recently switched to Duluth Trading Company’s Buck N@ked Performance Boxer Briefs and LOVES them. They usually have sales too so definitely don’t pay full price.

    • anonshmanon

      DH has been liking the Ex officio boxer briefs, and the pairs he got 4 years ago still look like new.

  2. Halloween potluck!

    Very low stakes but hopefully fun q: I’ve been invited to two events over Halloween weekend and asked to bring classic Halloween treats to both (I adore the hosts and am glad to do so). But… I didn’t grow up here, and Google has overwhelmed me. What is an easy treat to make? And bonus points if I can make just one thing in bulk that can be divided up for Saturday night as well as Sunday brunch. Can be savory or sweet. I think the sillier/more classic the better :) thank you all so much!

    • Anon

      Rice Krispy treats were the first thing to come to mind for me! Easy to make a lot of them, and you can always dress up by mixing in m&ms or similar.

      • Anon

        Same, I was going to suggest Rice Krispies treats. You could shape or decorate them with Halloween themed things if you so desire.

      • Vicky Austin

        Yes! These will make you very popular and are super easy: https://smittenkitchen.com/2009/11/salted-brown-butter-crispy-treats/

        I also love S’mores Cups for this time of year (from One Pan & Done by Molly Gilbert, which is a gem of a cookbook). The amounts below make one 12-cup muffin tin full, you could double it no problem I imagine.

        Cream together 8 Tbsp room temp unsalted butter and 3/4 cup light brown sugar in a stand mixer or by hand. Beat in 1 tsp pure vanilla and 1 large egg.
        Grind or smash 2-3 graham crackers to get a cup of fine graham cracker crumbs.
        Stir cracker crumbs together with 1 cup all-purpose flour and 1/2 tsp baking powder. Add this to butter mixture and combine gently. Scoop out 1/2 cup of this dough and set aside for later.
        Grease a muffin tin with cooking spray and press the remainder of the dough into the cups so each cup is about 1/4 full.
        Take 3/4 cup marshmallow Fluff and 1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips and divide evenly between muffin cups. Crumble the reserved dough on top and finish off with a pinch of sea salt. Bake about 15 minutes at 350.

        They are SO good.

      • Anonymous

        Dress them up as Frankenstein’s monster! There are a lot of cute recipes – I made a batch this weekend. Also made rice krispie pumpkins (dyed orange, scooped in a 1/3 cup measurement, used black frosting to make jack o lantern faces and added a candy corn stem).

    • Anon

      A layered pudding desert with Oreo crumbs for “dirt” with candy pumpkins on the “ground” and gummy worms poking out of the top and Milano cookies as tombstones that say RIP. You can do individual plastic cups or you can do two trays.

      • HW

        So good. I used to request that for my birthday cake as a kid. I want to say my mom made it in a flower pot but in hindsight that’s probably a detail my kid brain added. :)

    • anne-on

      The smitten kitchen salted brown butter rice krispies treats are AMAZING, I have to make two batches when I make them for a party because all the adults steal them from the kids table. If you’re conscious of allergens you can make cupcakes with Duncan Hines brand mix/icing allergy free by using oil instead of butter (no eggs, dairy, or nuts in the mix and icing) and tint vanilla frosting to be orange or just put orange sprinkles on the chocolate frosting.

    • Anonymous

      Wow. I did not know there were “classic Halloween treats” other than wrapped candies and small boxes of raisins.

    • Winter

      Witches fingers! Dip a pretzel rod in melted chocolate and affix an almond slice to the tip for a fingernail. Super easy, and amusing.

  3. Anonymous

    Shot in the dark but can anyone recommend good restaurants near the theater district in nyc? Is serendipity close? My 14-year old daughter and I are coming next weekend.

    • anne-on

      They’re not super fancy foodie type places but Dos Caminos, Bond 45, Le Marais, or the Irish pubs in the area (closer to 45th or 46th btwn 6th and 7th) are solid and understand how to turn a table in time for a show.

    • Anon

      Not too far, but I’m always a fan of La Bonne Soup, especially for a mom/daughter meal.

      • Cornellian

        love me some toloache. I moved away two years ago and I can still smell their shrimp quesadilla.

    • adnon

      Briciola! Very cute little wine bar in Hells Kitchen with very solid food. Went 2 weeks ago before a showing of Waitress! Serendipity is too far IMO, at least not walkable unless you give yourselves at least half an hour.

    • NYNY

      Serendipity is on the east side, and the theater district is west side, but they aren’t too far apart.

      John’s Pizza on W 44th st is fantastic, and it’s in an old, beautiful church. Totally worth it and convenient to many Broadway theaters, if that’s what you’re doing.

      I love Ariana Afghan restaurant, and one of the owners just got his family here from Afghanistan. The food is delicious and the service is wonderful.

    • Anonymous

      There are a lot of very decent restaurants on 9th ave, and all in the theater district should be able to get you in and out before a show. A friend with a daughter of similar age just went to Dim Sum Palace for their pre-theater meal. I’ve had good luck with Cara Mia and Marseille. You could also try Five Napkin Burger or Glass House Tavern. Schmackary’s cookies is fun for dessert.

    • Anon

      And now I’m sad because I just checked to see if my favorites are open and one is permanently closed (Esca) and one is temporarily closed (Osteria al Doge). *sigh*

    • Anonymous

      I just tried Bea and really liked it – would recommend. Schnippers in the NY Times Building has reliable burgers, salads, and milkshakes.

  4. anon

    I know that we’re supposedly in the great resignation and all that, but that’s not necessarily true for professional positions in my area (mid-size college town). I am completely over my job, but probably my career in general, and don’t have a clue what to do next. I have grown my skill set and am in leadership, which has put me further away from what I enjoy doing most. I don’t know how much longer I can spend solving these particular problems but feel so stuck. Partly because of the job market, and partly because of lack of imagination, I guess. I’ve always been in the government and higher ed track. I feel like I’ve pigeonholed myself in this career that has quite a few perks but also is grinding away at my sanity. Even if I try to step back, won’t I just be competing with people in their 20s and early 30s who are way more hungry and enthusiastic than I am? (You know, like I used to be?)

    • Anon

      Commiseration. Higher ed, but public higher ed in particular, is way less fun than it once was. I think this is a function of an increasingly competitive market in a polarized society where higher ed is no longer viewed as a panacea.

      • anon

        OP here. Yes, higher ed is my space, too. The fun and meaning in the work have evaporated for me. It makes me sad.

      • Anon

        +1 for public higher ed being way less fun. Seems like my life is un-f*cking the same 3 or 4 departments who make all the bad decisions and have no accountability. Why can’t their screwup employees be part of the great resignation??

    • Anon

      Yes, I really feel this. I’ve been applying for jobs and having very little luck. I’m trying to switch directions a bit for a complicated set of reasons, but I either hear nothing back or get interviews because I have lots of qualifications on paper, but can’t seem to convince people that I genuinely want to do something different and really have something to offer them. Just got another rejection this morning after an interview last week and it’s sad that I’m at least happy to have gotten a quick rejection instead of just getting ghosted like most of the jobs I’ve applied for (and even interviewed for).

      • Go for it

        Gently, try doing mock interviews with friends etc. as perhaps they will assist in getting to more of a the spirited conveyance of interest. All the right paper is only getting you in the interview, the nuance to hire is (in my hiring of staff experience) intuitive. I have to feel a spark, an enthusiasm that neither degrees nor resume can project. This is just my long experience in hires.

    • No Face

      Not in higher ed, but I definitely relate. I was so set on my career path prior to the pandemic. Now, the fun/cool parts of my work evaporated, but the drudgery is still there.

    • Anonymous

      My husband is in higher ed and I agree – it’s brutal right now. No morale, no sense of excitement. At his campus there’s enormous pressure to return to campus but no good reason to do so. It feels like they’re just being asked to perform set dressing for the undergrads.

      • Anonymous

        Also in higher ed, your comment makes me sad. How is having in person classes and a normal college experience “set dressing for the undergrads”. Should we make them stay on Zoom for all four years just so that professors don’t have to leave the comfort of their own homes? My college has required 100% vaccination and masks inside, so please don’t bring up safety as an issue. If you are a parent, I assume you will understand bettter when you are paying $70,000 a year largely for the “experience”.

        • Anon

          The undergrads are on campus and taking in-person classes and miserable too.

          And the in-person push has been so rabid that accommodations normally granted were being denied. I’ve never seen more contempt for students.

        • Anon

          I think this is a divide between the professors and the administrators. A lot of the professors, especially those who like teaching, are enjoying being back in the classroom. The administration wants to continue remote work.

  5. Cornellian

    Another low stakes question: I’m doing a mini-wedding? elopement dinner? this weekend and was fine with doing my own makeup, because it’s not that important to me. Now that it’s a few days away, I’m panicking. Anyone have any beauty youtubers or tutorials they love? I’m pretty fair, awful at eyeliner and I’ve been watching Bobbi Brown for the last three hours.

    Help?

    • No Face

      Congrats!

      For special events I find it much easier to book an appointment at a makeup place like Sephora, MAC, etc. My instructions are that I want to look natural, like I woke up looking like a perfect version of myself. It turns out well each time.

      Tell them you are going to a really nice dinner with your partner, so they don’t hear “wedding” and go overboard.

      • Anon

        Yes, and tell them your age and mention “wedding” so that they don’t think you are 20 and want heavy Kardashian-type contouring.

    • Anon

      YouTuber emilynoel83. I’ve been following her for a decade – so down to earth and great at pretty-but-special looks.

    • Maudie Atkinson

      You are totally capable of this! I did my own hair and makeup for my micro wedding last year, and I loved that I looked like ME.
      Lisa Eldridge has some great tutorials. If you don’t have foundation that is a really good match, it might be worth going to Sephora or the like to pick up some. Also gives you a chance to do a dry run and ask them for some tips! If you love it, go back for the day of. If not, practice on yourself.
      Matte finish for eyeshadows, blushes, etc., will photograph better than anything sparkly.

    • Anon

      I did my own wedding makeup based on Lisa Eldridge’s wedding makeup tutorial video. It was so, so helpful. Other tips that I can give you – invest in really good primers (face and eyelid), make sure your foundation is as close a match as you can get (Sephora should be able to help you with this, they did for me but that was pre-Covid) and that it doesn’t have any SPF, and remember that you don’t need to add in makeup you don’t want or need or aren’t good at. Eyeliner is great, but it’s not required. If you’re not good at it or you don’t want it, skip it. If you have time, money, and can find an appointment this week, maybe try lash extensions and/or brow tinting. They both make huge differences and would eliminate your need to deal with false lashes, eyeliner, mascara and brow pencils, gels, pomades, etc.

    • anne-on

      If you prefer to just book something I’ve had great luck with blow dry bars – almost every one I’ve been to in multiple cities does makeup too and you can ask for just eyes (lining, false lashes, etc.) which is a lot cheaper than full face (and I find foundation/blush/lipstick pretty simple to DIY if you’re not doing the whole baked/contoured thing).

    • kag

      Andrea Ali. Also, skip eyeliner if you’re not experienced at it – it’s tricky and not necessary.

    • NeglectedHeels

      I did my own make-up for my mini-wedding as well. I didn’t use foundation because I have never ever used it and thought it would probably go horribly. I found a new lipstick that looked like my lips, but better. I went to Sephora and had them teach me a simple, natural eyeshadow look and then I bought the product and the brush.

      The best thing I did was EYELASH extensions. Highly highly recommend. I will probably never do them again but for a wedding they were perfect. No mucking around with eyeliner or mascara. No worries that anything would drip down my face if I cried. They looked amazing. Bonus points, my normal very unaware husband said “they are just so feminine!”.

      Happy wedding weekend! I wish you all the best.

  6. Anon

    Has anyone been following the resignation of the dean at Montana’s law school? I tried wading in when I couldn’t sleep and . . . there seems to be a lot of drama in a very small school. I’m still a bit fuzzy on what happened. It seems like A said that B assaulted C and if the administration hears that from A (not C), then the school and title 9 admins must act. In a small town, maybe that makes more sense (it is also very clear who B is and implied that everyone knows B’s reputation). It made me feel for you all who work in higher ed — people make life complicated.

    My city has had problems with this sort of things in its school system (problematic handling, things never getting reported or put into official on-campus violence counts, etc.) to the point where the parents I know what their kids going to the police (the real police, as opposed to any “school safety” personnel paid by the school system) if anything ever happened to them. IDK what the answer is, but I have really, really dim hopes that any school can actually police itself, its staff, its perpetrator students and protect victims.

    • Anonymous

      Check out what just happened in Loudoun County, Virginia if you want an answer to the question of whether schools can police themselves.

      • Anonymous

        What happened? I’m local to Loudoun and am not sure what this refers to?

        • Anon

          A parent is accusing a school of trying to cover up the daughter’s sexual assault at the school.

        • Anon

          Trigger warning.

          His daughter was r*ped in the bathroom, v*ginally and an*lly, and the school said that they would “handle it internally” rather than getting the police involved. Daughter went to the hospital; said what happened; doctor ordered a r*pe kit; doctor, being a mandatory reporter, called the police.

          Loudon County transferred the student to a different high school, where he did the same thing to a differnet girl. School system claimed that there were zero incidents of r*pe on the campuses, which caused the victim’s father to stand up at a school board meeting; they had him arrested.

          Heavy class undertones here; the father is a blue-collar worker (plumber) in one of the wealthiest counties in America.

    • Griz

      I just graduated from UM law. It is (and was) a lot of drama. One male student assaulted multiple women in the school. A few of the women reported the assaults to the dean of students, who dissuaded them from reporting to title IX. She was a mandatory reporter and did not report the assaults as she was required to under law. She told women that there could be character and fitness implications if their reports ended up being lies. This happened to students reporting other gender-related violence issues as well. The dean of the law school similarly did not report sexual assaults to title IX.
      Both deans have now resigned. Hopefully this will create some space for change within the school, as it is the only one in Montana and it has a good reputation regionally. It is also worth noting that the University of Montana has a storied history with rape and sexual assault (see Missoula, by Jon Krakauer). The University is currently being sued by numerous female admin and faculty alleging sexual discrimination as well, and the school newspaper the Kaimin released a story yesterday chronicling a tenured computer science professor’s blog where he espouses sexist, homophobic, racist, and pedophilic views.

    • Anon

      I have a ton of stories from multiple schools, K12 and higher ed. Usually, the more I am in a position to know, the worse the stuff I know is. Also, where there is a problem, national attention and very public legal battles don’t seem to lead to real change.

  7. Anon

    Looking for a white long sleeve elevated tee with maybe a twist or knot detail at the front hem (something to be worn untucked). The trick is that I’m short (and flat-chested) so even a large girls size might work.

  8. Anonymous

    I have a closet of sleeveless dresses that I’d love to convert into fall clothes. Normally I just wear them with a blazer, but I was thinking about layering them on top of a white collared shirt or long-sleeve tee instead. Is this a hopelessly juvenile look, or could it somehow be on trend? I’m a 40-ish lawyer in an office that was historically business formal, but post-pandemic, no one knows what to wear :)

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s going to look really strange on anyone older than 12 or not belonging to a religion overly focused on modesty.

    • Cat

      I do (well… did….) this all the time, but think the trick is using a silk blouse under the sheath rather than a stiff b-tton-down.

    • anne-on

      Spanx (and others) make thin long sleeved bodysuits that would work well for layering as they don’t ride up. Jcrew had (has?) button down bodysuits that people evidently loved as every time I tried to buy one they were sold out.

    • carrie

      Take a look at the blog the Directrice. She is a 40-something lawyer that layers interesting blouses underneath her sleeveless dresses all the time.

    • CC

      I have also worn pussy bow blouses under sleeveless sheath dresses and it really works.

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