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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 187 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: ‘Jori’ Ruched Sheath Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Diane von Furstenberg 'Jori' Ruched Sheath Dress | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I love the color of this dress, and I think the neckline and the hemline both avoid the problems DvF dresses sometimes run into (too low cut, too mini). Yes, this has more of a summer vibe to it, but it's priced as such (40% off) — and I'd start wearing it in February with dark purple/black accents for a spring/Pucci vibe. It was $325, now marked to $195 (sizes 0-14) at Nordstrom. Diane von Furstenberg ‘Jori' Ruched Sheath Dress Here are a lower-priced option and a couple of alternatives available in plus sizes. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected].

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Comments

  1. Anonanon

    Wise ladies — I have finally decided to start wearing dresses and skirts to work after years of always wearing pants. (I wish I could afford this dress!) But I have embarrassingly clueless questions about what to wear on my legs. If I’m wearing basic heels, do I wear pantyhose? Tights? Can I wear either one of those in any season, or are tights only for winter? I’m ALWAYS cold, so I’d like to wear the warmest appropriate option year-round. Also, colors — what color tights would I wear with, say, a gray dress and black shoes? Blue dress/blue shoes? Any guidance appreciated!

    • Cb

      I wear dresses and skirts exclusively and wear black tights in the winter (sometimes burgundy or navy) and bare legs or nylons in the summer. I’m in academia so bare legs are totally fine.

    • Icicle

      I think that the 2/3 rule works for colored legwear.

      2/3 Rule:
      Of the following:
      a. Skirt/dress
      b. Colored legwear
      c. shoes/boots,
      >= 2/3 of them are to be the same color.

      Aforesaid rule is n/a to sheer flesh(yours)-toned hose.

      • Anonymous

        If you’re wearing a dress rather than a skirt and your tights match that dress (but shoes are a different color) is that too much of one color?

        • Icicle

          Maybe.

          Some people can rock the Office Goth look. For others: how about a scarf? Or some other bit of pattern / sparkle / color? Can’t tell in the abstract if it works, but maybe time to pause and ponder?

    • Wildkitten

      CapHillStyle has a rule that your tights should either match your shoes or match your skirt (or match both). I don’t always follow it, but I think it’s a good rule of thumb.

      • Parfait

        I’m a rebel! My dress is purple, my tights are grey, and my boots are black! You cannot stop me!

    • Anonymous

      I think I read on CHS that an informal rule is that out of skirt, tights, and shoes, 2 are supposed to match.

    • LilyB86

      IMO, tights will look funny/inappropriate from April-September unless you’re in a really cold climate, I guess. I still think black pantyhose look better than tights, but tights are fine (just stay away from the really thick ones/sweater material ones). In the spring/summer you can wear nude hose if you need the extra warmth.

      With a black or gray dress, black or gray tights (but I generally think the tights should match the color of your shoes). This is why I like black hose as opposed to tights- they are less stark and go perfectly well with any color dress/shoes.

      • January

        +1 to black hose ;) (Tights have their place, too! But I think they’re more casual).

        • Anonymous

          Ignorant question- how does one tell the difference between black tights and hose? I thought it was a matter of sheerness. Is that wrong?

          • Idea

            This. People on this site are so TeamTights vs. TeamHose, and I’m just like, ok, her legs are covered in something that is not argyle.

          • Anon

            I think most of the difference is how opaque they are. Tights IMO are 80-100% opaque. The rest of the difference is how shiny they are. I consider anything with a matte/mostly matte finish tights and anything that is not matte is hose.

          • LilyStudent

            Anon, where do matte hose fit then? (Sorry, playing devil’s advocate). I have a ‘thing’ about shiny, so I wear matte 7 denier hose in the summer.

          • January

            Ha! I might join Team Argyle, now that you mention it.

            For the questioner, I think of tights as more opaque, with a thicker fabric. My views on tights vs. hose are largely my mother’s.

      • Anon

        I think black hose is a dated look and would probably not wear them except with suits (though nude is preferred) or at an evening event.

        • ALN

          Thoroughly disagree. In the winter, with a suit, black hose look better than nude because that way it doesn’t look like you’re bare legged. Black tights with a suit looks more casual to my eye than black hose. I can see the preference for black tights in a business casual office though.

    • Alice

      I wear black tights in winter (often, sheer black hose under black tights for added warmth), sheer hose in fall and spring, and bare legs in the summer. In government, in DC, so business casual. If I am going to court or interviewing, and wearing a full skirt suit, I always wear sheer hose (even in summer or winter).

      I think the easiest rule of thumb for the color of tights is to match either your shoes or dress/skirt. So with a gray dress and black shoes, either gray or black tights (although black is probably easier, because it doesn’t come in different shades). However, I’m not the best at this–I tend to wear exclusively black shoes in the winter because I can never find tight colors that look right with my burgundy shoes or tan shoes….

    • Leggy

      I work in a business casual setting, so bare legs in the summer are fine. In the winter I stick to tights and use the match 2 out of 3 rule, where my tights either need to match my skirt or my shoes. So today I am wearing black tights with a grey tweed skirt and black heels. Yesterday I wore burgundy tights with burgundy shoes and a black skirt.

      I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively. Pants maybe once or twice a month.

    • Once Thrifted

      Business casual, and I had never heard of the 2/3 rule, but it’s brilliant.

      Today is navy patterned skirt, navy top, navy tights, brown shoes (but I would love to have had navy…)

      I own tights in gray, black, navy, brown, fuchsia, and teal. Of those, several are patterned/textured, one pair of fairisle sweater tights, and everything else is opaque. I don’t own any hose/sheers. Fleece-lined tights really are pretty amazing, too.

      In summer, bare is fine here too.

    • KittyKat

      I live in a polar vortex so take my advice under that context. I’d suggest black, navy, grey, grey heather, maroon and forest green tights. I typically reserve maroon and green with black dress/shoe combos, but the other 4 pairs of tights can go with anything. They are appropriate for almost everything, a balance of professional and weather appropriate.

      • Must be Tuesday

        I also wear green and maroon tights, and combine them with: grey skirt and black shoes, camel skirt and brown boots, navy dress and navy boots or heels. So, breaking the 2/3 rule quite a bit.

      • lucy stone

        Agreed! I wear a yellow skirt with navy tights and brown boots a lot in the winter and get complements.

  2. Anonymous

    Best habits to manage stress? I’m having issues with constant stress wearing me down, and I really need to get it under control. I already get as much sleep as I can, exercise regularly, eat very healthily, drink a lot of water, etc. I’m looking for sustainable habits over the long term rather than things to do in the moment when I’m having a particularly rough time (like taking a walk, for example). Any thoughts?

    • kc

      Get in a walk during the workday every day you can, weather dependent. Just 10-15 mins helps a lot. Also–meditation or breathing exercises.

    • Anonymous

      Therapy. It sounds like you’re already doing what you can in terms of self care.

    • Coach Laura

      Guided meditation tapes. 20-25 minutes a day. If I do it regularly, I can invoke the relaxation response in the “heat of the moment” as it were.

      • Carrie...

        Even just 2 minutes can help me. Do a search under “mindfulness” on the web. There’s a pretty good Harvard website that has links to a bunch of audio files. Just play one of them…. sit on a comfortable chair, close your eyes, breathe slowly, and follow…

        • Wildkitten

          There are a couple apps. They have different narrators so YMMV on who you find most relaxing.

      • AnonInfinity

        Yes agree! I’ve got an app I do every morning called Headspace that has been really great. There’s a whole series of meditations designed to reduce stress. I’m in the middle of that series right now, and it has helped me.

    • roses

      Well, it depends why you’re stressed, I think. The above things described are coping mechanisms, but they don’t address the source of the stress. Are you getting stressed out about things that other people don’t tend to get stressed about – e.g., everyday decisions about what to wear, your appearance, normal responsibilities at a job? If so, that might need to be addressed with therapy. If you’re stressed because of unusually difficult circumstances that aren’t going to go away, however, I’d look at everything you can do to make the situation easier on yourself. Outsource what you can, find a partner or friend to help you, take personal days as often as you can get away with. In either event, do everything possible to be kind to yourself.

      • Must be Tuesday

        This. If you can eliminate or reduce stress rather than finding more ways to cope with it, that is a better strategy. Horrid job? Start looking for new employment. Too many obligations with community, kids, etc.? Start saying no to things. Bad relationship? Fix or get out. Stressed over things that don’t typically cause major stress? Get tested and possibly treated for underlying anxiety or other issues. Only look for more and better ways to cope if the sources of stress cannot be eliminated.

    • Anon

      Drugs. I tried valiantly to feel better, doing everything you describe, but didn’t feel any better until my GP prescribed 10mg Prozac daily.

      • roses

        This isn’t good advice without knowing why OP is stressed – and without consulting a psychologist.

        • Batgirl

          You can’t typically get these drugs without visiting a doctor so I think it’s sort of implied that she would.

          • roses

            A lot of doctors though will write a script based on self-described symptoms if you ask – you don’t necessarily need to see a therapist to understand the source of your stress. I’m really not anti-meds at all for those who need them, but I think taking them without carefully examining whether it’s your brain chemistry or life circumstances that are making you stressed is the equivalent of self-medicating.

          • Anonymous

            You might think taking meds prescribed by a doctor is equivalent to self-medicating, but you’re wrong.

          • roses

            Agree to disagree, then. To emphasize though, I do not think taking meds prescribed by a doctor experienced in mental health issues, to whom you have spent time discussing your symptoms and life circumstances, is self-medicating – that is the definition of appropriate medication. But there are many doctors and psychiatrists that will simply write you a prescription if you say certain “buzzwords” to them. The patient needs to take some responsibility to ensure that they fully describe their symptoms and life circumstances to a qualified person that is actually weighing what they are saying, to ensure that they are receive medication only where appropriate.

          • Batgirl

            @roses, I see your point. I think it’s good to consult with a psychiatrist before hopping on antidepressants — or to discuss your underlying symptoms and circumstances with your GP. But that said, I think there are times when antidepressants make sense and help even if you haven’t identified the root cause of your depression or anxiety. Sometimes anxiety and depression are problems in and of themselves–chemical conditions in your body–and not solely related to an event or problem.

        • roses

          @Batgirl – that’s exactly what I mean! Medication is appropriate when, after careful consultation with a qualified professional, you determine that your depression or anxiety is not caused by an outside source and can’t be cured with lifestyle changes or therapy. But taking meds when lifestyle changes are more appropriate, to me, is like taking vicodin when you have a broken limb – it might dull the pain, but it won’t solve the underlying issue.

          • Senior Attorney

            Right, but if you do have a broken limb it is absolutely appropriate to take vicodin to dull the pain while the underlying issue is resolved over time. Similar with antidepressants, I think.

    • Idea

      My therapist told me to eat more “raw” – not necc. like Alicia Silverstone, but a piece of fruit or raw vegetable salad at every meal.

        • Idea

          I am not sure what you’re asking here – I think I conveyed it pretty clearly.
          To clarify:
          My shrink who does my medicine management suggested that I eat more raw fruits and vegetables, suggesting, for example, a raw piece of fruit like an apple or banana or more side salads at every meal.

          If there’s something specific you’d like me to follow-up with, please let me know.

          • anonymama

            Maybe the crunching helps relieve stress? And/or the additional fiber helps keep blood sugar regulated and digestion moving along. It does seem sort of out of left field but it’s also one of those things that of course can’t hurt and is good for you in other ways, so why not to relieve stress too (like drinking more water).

      • Hannah

        The OP is right. My cousin has said for years that eating a lot of raw vegetables each day is a natural way of detoxing and keeping your digestive system clear, and if you are clear on the inside, you will be less likely to be stressed; i.e., if you are less “backed up” on the inside, more free flowing your mind will be, your ideas will be more free-flowing, and you will not dwell on things in a way that gets you stressed. Also, if you can get more aerobic exercise of any type, that is also a very good way to de-stress. This need not be strenuous exercise — yoga and walking qualify. Good luck to you. I would stay away from meds if at all possible. Too many people these days start in with the pills and then find out later their liver and kidneys are shot. Never a good thing to discover when your metabolism slows down.

    • Ellen

      Yay! TPS Tuesday! I love this sheath dress in BLUE and I love NORDSTROM’s! I will have ROSA get this for me to try on in size 2. I no longer am size 0 b/c of all the excercise I am doeing, I think, but Dad is mad b/c he wants me and Rosa to be the same size. FOOEY!

      As for the OP, do what I do. Fitbit 10,000 step’s a day, tho you can alway’s get an APP on your iphone. I do both and then compare the 2. I am having a littel difficulty getting 10,000 step’s in b/c of the cold and bad weather, but Dad insist’s b/c I am weareing a new coat and there is NO excuse, he says.

      That’s what you need. A routine where you MUST attain a goal to keep you calm. I have to sit on my tuchus all day, so in some ways it is good that I do 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 on my way home. The good thing about it is that I get to leave early b/c the manageing partner does NOT want me walkeing home in the dark, and it get’s dark early in the winter! YAY!!!!!

      PS: I apologise to the Entire hive for saying thing’s that were NOT sensitive. I have been in modderation and wish to get out of the modderation, so dad say’s the best way to do so is to apologize to the ENTIRE hive. Please acept my apology and i will be more sensitive to those who took offence.

    • Idea

      Also, I love Diet Coke, but my doctors have told me they’d rather I have more calories than artificial sweetener, since it is so linked to depression and anxiety.

      Also, see your friends! Don’t forget about that part! They like you.

  3. Clementine

    In this vein, has anyone ever tried hypnosis to help reduce worrying/anxiety/stress?

    • Carrie...

      I think that by the time you are contemplating this you should consider calling your primary care doctor for an appointment. Time to talk a little bit about what’s going on, consider starting a medication and ideally – both.

    • L

      I have. It’s been moderately helpful, but I haven’t really ever gone ‘under’ yet. I suspect with a few more sessions it will stick.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Yes, it was helpful but you have to follow up w/ self-hypnosis exercises that I am terrible at making time for. I used it to cut down on some stress induced compulsive behaviors.

  4. homebody

    My stylist recommended an ammonia-free gloss treatment to help my hair, which I damaged after dying it at home. It’s dry/frizzy and prone to breakage, a little lifeless and dull.

    Any experiences with a gloss treatment? I like the color, so would probably choose a clear gloss. Is there anything that could go “wrong”? I am thinking of getting it done this weekend before all the holiday events, but don’t want to accidentally make my hair even worse. Are there other restorative salon treatments I should consider?

    • TNTT

      I tried this with a clear gloss and honestly hated it. I don’t know that anything can really go “wrong,” but my hair went from dry/damaged to greaseball city.

      • Diana Barry

        +1, I had this reaction too. Only did it once. I think a once-a-week hot oil treatment would be better, especially if you have thin and/or fine hair.

    • Anon

      Gloss doesn’t really do anything in my experience. I would skip the salon treatments and use a good conditioner and maybe a styling serum.

    • Mountain Girl

      Olive oil – leave in for at least 30 minutes. I leave it in overnight if my hair is really dry. Just know that you will have to change you pillowcase in the morning. Shower and wash your hair as normal in the morning. The temptation is to wash it extra to get the oil out but you won’t need to do that. Just wash normally and condition and style as you usually do. In the winter I find that I could do this every couple of weeks with no ill effects on my hair. And, don’t us expensive olive oil. Cheap stuff from the dollar store will work just fine.

  6. (former) preg 3L

    I’m fairly confident it’s time to replace my hair dryer. What’s your favorite (under $50) hair dryer? If your favorite is more than $50, why should I spend so much on a hair dryer? TIA!

    • LawyrChk

      I prefer the bike-short style Spanx for the reasons you mention (instead of a slip).

      • tesyaa

        Do you wear that on top of your hosiery? Interesting. I was also going to say that I have a short, tight slip (similar to a spanx slip, maybe) that doesn’t slide around much, if at all.

      • Scout

        I’m wearing one today and I love it. I wear them at least a few time a week. It’s super comfortable and it negates any type of weird lines and awkward bunch or cling. I wear them over my tights or hose.

    • MNF

      I ordered the gap body slips based on a recommendation here and have been very satisfied.

      Also, are you wearing a pencil skirt? Could it be a fit issue – I’m in between sizes and sometimes a pencil skirt will bunch up in the front if I’ve put on a few pounds?

  9. hollis

    I’ve had my Rebecca minkoff medium mab bag for only 2 months (and handled with care) and the handles are wearing through where they connect to the bag. It was a gift (purchased from nordstrom) and I don’t want to return something I’ve used for 2 months. Anyone else have this problem? Does this happen with every bag that attaches handles to bag in a way that they are supposed to stand up (rather than attaching with hardware that enables the handles to flop down the sides)?

    • TO Lawyer

      Talk to nordstrom – they may send you a replacement. FWIW, My Rebecca Minkoff (purchased through the outnet) had some problems although not with the hardware and they sent me a brand new one.

      if not, contact Rebecca Minkoff. They have great customer service

      • Anon in NYC

        I agree with this approach – Nordstrom’s first, then Rebecca Minkoff. I agree on Rebecca Minkoff’s customer service – I’ve definitely asked them to repair bags for me that are about 2 years old, and they’ve done it at no/minimal charge.

    • Anon2

      I had the exact same issue on two of the bags – my original bag and a replacement. I was convinced it was just a one-time defect by the sales associate. But, after happening twice, that’s not a one-time defect -that’s a structural problem. I didn’t overload it – just daily, working-girl wear and tear.

      I got mine from Bloomingdales, and they took it back for a full refund (Nordstrom will, too, I’m sure). Loved the look, price point, etc, but I need quality construction and it clearly missed the mark.

      • Julia

        Nordstrom will absolutely make it right for you. Either a refund or a replacement.

  10. anonymous

    Financial help please! I am a new lawyer in Boston making big law salary. I have a manageable amount of student debt, and decent amount of savings. I am single but in a serious relationship. I just opened my first 401K (at a different financial institute than where my savings are located). I do nothing fancy with my savings at this point.

    I would like to meet with a financial advisor to see if I should be managing my savings differently. Do I seek out an advisor at either the bank where my savings are, or the bank where my 401k is now? Do I find an independent financial advisor, and if so, where do I find that, what should I be looking for, and how much should I expect to pay?

    Thank you for the help!

    • Zelda

      I’ve just been researching this same issue. You should try to find a financial advisor that is fee based, not commission based (which might rule out both banks). If your job offers free financial advisor appointments (either through your 401k provider or independently) I would definitely start there. Otherwise, I’ve had multiple recommendations for Learnvest at this stage of financial planning. Other resources for finding a financial advisor (they should be a certified financial planner) include Dave Ramsey’s website and letsmakeaplan DOT org. Outside of Learnvest, expect to pay at least $100-$300 per hour.

          • BB

            Awesome. Sorry to ask what is probably a pretty basic question. I did a quick 10 second browse of their site and couldn’t find the info…thought it was just easier to ask here. I’m totally going to look into it in more detail tonight! Thanks!

    • Zelda

      My response is stuck in moderation, but the brief summary is (1) check to see if your job offers free advisers, (2) try Learnvest, or (3) find someone who is a certified financial planner and fee based.

      • Wildkitten

        If you are doing not-the-cheapest there is a discount code in the Learvest book that is probably a bigger discount than the price of the book. It might also be that your library has the book and nobody has used the code yet.

    • Digby

      If your 401k is with Fidelity, you likely get access to their financial planners as a result – the brick and mortar locations, which have salaried financial planners who allegedly are not given incentives to push Fidelity products over better/cheaper non-Fidelity products.

      Or NAPFA – the national association of personal financial planners – I believe everyone on that site is fee-only.

  11. Batgirl

    Does anyone have any recommendations for a basic, non-frumpy, v-neck sweater that doesn’t break the bank but also doesn’t fall apart after being worn/laundered a few times? Preferably non-wool. My go-to of Banana Republic has failed me for the last time–why has everything gotten SO terrible and low quality there? I don’t expect it to last long, but I expect things to at least last the season!

    • cc

      I felt a lot of second hand embarassment. The idea was fine but the execution cringe worthy

    • EK

      I don’t get what she is wearing a low cut sequined shirt(?)

      Sort of undermines the point?

      • Wildkitten

        I mean. She’s recording a music video in which she sings and dances. I think my work would find it more troublesome if I do that at the office than if I wear sequins. It’s a parody.

    • OttLobbyist

      +1 It could have executed a bit differently, but some parts were pretty funny. Now if only I could get all the versions of that song out of my head…

    • Scout

      Is a similar vein what do you guys think about the reappropriation of the term “b****”? Is it ever okay to refer to yourself as one? With the added meaning of powerful woman who dgaf? Or is the stigma of the nasty word just always stay?

      • Wildkitten

        Have you seen the TIna Fey/Amy Poehler skit? I think that’s what took it back.

  13. Hildegarde

    Gift shopping advice needed:

    I’m getting together with friends one evening this week for a white elephant exchange. The person hosting the party said to bring a gift that will make everyone laugh except the person opening it, so basically something silly, dumb, or obnoxious.

    Now, I hate giving and receiving items I am just going to throw away or donate, so I would like to get an item that is funny but still useful, if possible. This is a group of close friends all in their early 30’s, evenly divided between men and women, maybe 75% of whom are married. The group also has a somewhat irreverent sense of humor, so I’m not worried about offending anyone. We do not know in advance which person will open our gift.

    I realize this may be an impossible task, but does anyone have any ideas for something that would fit these criteria?

    • Anon

      What about a huge bottle of lube? It would probably embarrass the recipient but wouldn’t be wasted…

    • anon

      Anything from the “home goods” section of your local Craigslist. Ugly pie plates; ugly matching salt & pepper shakers, velvet elvis poster…Odd personal grooming devices or those wacky as-seen-on-tv kitchen implements.

    • lsw

      If you have time, check out a thrift store near you. All my best white elephant finds have come from thrift stores, including a pair of creepy plant pots shaped like babies and a four foot long pillow embroidered with cats. It will guarantee that no one else will get the same gift!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know how “funny” this is, depending on the crowd, but there are these coin jar piggy banks now that tally up your “deposits.” So every time you add a coin your new balance flashes on the little screen.

      It was funny for my secret santa recipient because it was a joke about how she (who is in charge of finances for our group) makes us count every penny. (where I work, we have a secret santa exchange where the goal is to make the gift as snarky and funny as possible but at least we know who the target is in advance).

      I feel you on not liking to buy something solely for the purpose of a gag; it’s not just wasteful of time/money but of planet resources, etc….That’s why I thought this bank thing was funny and at least somewhat practical. If someone gave me one I would definitely use it but I wouldn’t buy it myself (I count and roll coins the old fashioned way). You can buy them at radio shack or tj maxx for about $8 to $10.

    • LawDawg

      Just about anything that is sold in the “As Seen on TV” section of the store. Chia pets are a classic. Newer ones are those burger stuffers, veggetti (to make veggies into spaghetti?), flex seal, etc. A few years ago, I was at a party where a shake weight was given. It was picked randomly by a gay man and it made everyone’s night.

      • Viv

        I would think Ellen would be able to suggest an appropriate gift but not fleece tights! Chia pets are hot!

    • Meg Murry

      Not sure if its what you are going for, but I’ve seen amusing responses when someone wraps up a box that is just rolls of coins – it’s heavy, so it tends to get a lot of people grabbing for it, but its actually something “useful” to come away from the swap with. I’ve also see a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, with the coin rolls in the middle.

    • Lyssa

      Assuming you expect that folks are drinkers, you could go to the liquor store and look for the most tacky silly themed product you can find. They usually have a lot of them, but booze is still booze.

    • Jdubs

      Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook
      Google it if you need a good laugh.. and if this would go over well in your circle.

    • Anon

      There are a lot of wines that have funny names. You get the inappropriate laugh and the person can still drink the wine.

    • Hildegarde

      These are some great ideas; thank you all! I will hit up my favorite thrift store and possibly the liquor store over the next couple of days.

      • Hollis

        Funnier still would be a bottle of expensive booze, but half empty. Someone I know did this in order to meet a price limit that was less than the cost of the whole bottle of booze, and we all thought that was pretty clever.

    • Philanthropy Girl

      I’m pretty sure I’ve received rolls of toilet paper in white elephant gift exchanges.

      If you care to spend the extra time and effort, it isn’t too hard to find it printed with sports teams/political figures/other odds and ends that people could find humorous to use as TP.

    • anon

      Best white elephant gift I’ve ever seen: A framed picture of the gifter (you). The frame is the gift – it could be from Goodwill, or something new and nice, but a nice big 8×10 of your smiling face. It’s been years and I am STILL laughing about that.

    • Parfait

      I sent my brother a 3.5 pound bag of peanut m&m’s. It made ME laugh, anyway, and I am pretty sure it will get laughs when he opens it.

      and hey! Candy!

  14. Anonymous

    My supervisors just gave me a $400 gift card to Nordstrom for Christmas! How generous! Last year they gave me a $300 gift card to Coach. I really appreciate their thoughtfulness…

    Regarding gifting up….last year after they gave me the $300 gift card I put together little food baskets from a high-end food store for them. They cost me about $75 each. Think olives, cheese, etc. I have no energy this year to do anything. We aren’t doing presents for anyone, even family. I’m pregnant with twins and stressed out….not to mention that $$ is a bit more of an issue this year. Is it okay if I just give them a Christmas card thanking them for the thoughtfulness? I feel like such a scrooge but I seriously can’t handle Christmas this year.

    • cc

      I think a lot of people answered you when you posted this before- the gift baskets last year was overkill- you shouldnt gift up. Dont do anything this year

    • Mo

      Yes. My team gave our assistant a gift card her first year with us, and she spent it on gifts for all of us that she had rush delivered to our houses to get to us before Christmas. We felt like jerks.

    • oil in houston

      a card would be more than enough, they’re your supervisors, they shouldn’t expect anything else in return apart from thank you ….

    • LawyrChk

      If it’s your supervisors, no need to gift them anything. Full stop. Though if you feel like you must, a heartfelt thankyou card and a plate of cookies is absolutely sufficient. Enjoy your Nordstrom shopping spree!

    • cbackson

      You don’t need to give them anything – just a sincere thank-you and good wishes for the holidays if you celebrate them (orally or in a card).

    • Senior Attorney

      In case you missed my response yesterday: Please do not gift up. Please. Your supervisors do not want your gifts. Swear to God, they don’t. Just say no to gifting up.

      • Anonymous

        I did see your response from yesterday but it was late in the day so re-posted today. Looks like the consensus is – give them a card. That’s an easy one to cross of my Christmas list!! Thanks everyone!

  16. Anonymous

    Does anyone wear cashmere sweaters in the summer, or year round except the hottest months? I live in the mid-Atlantic area, so summers get fairly hot and humid, but my office is always freezing. I haven’t bought cashmere until this year, and I’m wondering if I could almost year round wear out of it.

    • anon

      I’d totally wear a lightweight cashmere v-neck or cardi in the summer, but probably one with 3/4 or elbow sleeves. Longsleeve cardi over a shell or tank would be fine. Obviously if you want year-round wear out of it, choose a color that reads more season-less. I wouldn’t wear a forest green sweater in the summer, but I would wear pink or camel or gray.

        • anon

          I guess it would depend how it’s styled. I love purple (and all jewel tones), as they look best on me. I wouldn’t be afraid to wear it!

    • Icicle

      I wear it year round (and I live south of you). I have some summer-weight cashmere (and summer-cut items — bracelet sleeves, flyaway cardis), but probably would shift more to cardigans of my usual cashmere if I didn’t have the summer-weight items.

      One thing to be on the lookout for is texture. Fuzzy (or pilled — ack) cashmere sometimes looks funny against summer clothes that are lighter or more likely to be cotton. [Just like how flannel is a winter fabric, but worsted wool usually is fine year round.] My summer cashmere (LE from about 8 years ago) is thinner and has 3/4 sleeves and helps me a ton. I link LE sells “all-year cashmere” or something similar, but haven’t tried it this time around. My old stuff is pretty solid and has no pills.

    • Zelda

      My mom has a collection of cashmere twin sets (short-sleeved sweater and long-sleeved cardi) that she wears year round.

    • MJ

      Yes–I wear cashmere year round, always with something under, as it makes me a smidge itchy (and cuts down the dry cleaning bill too). There are some colors and stykes which seem more wintry (turtlenecks, wine-colors). I usually wear a non-iron shirt under and a v-neck over, with a pencil skirt and heels. If it’s hot outside, I’m in a shirt, and cold inside, sweater goes on. Not sure how this would work with humidity, as I’ve been in CA for the past few years, but…I could see the sweater not even needing to ever leave my office.

      I do have a quite fancy cashmere sweater from Saks that I bought about 15 years ago which is my “office sweater.” Fancy v-neck, can be worn over nearly anything in a pinch, often stolen by co-workers. Office cardi might be the way to go for summer. ;)

      Cashmere for-eva!

  17. walking commute

    I will probably post this again tomorrow, as I don’t know it will get much traffic today, and I don’t have time to post later in the afternoon. BUT–

    If you use walking as your primary means of commuting, does your employer/office culture cut you any slack as regards your attire in foul weather? That is to say, if your office is generally conservative, are you expected to maintain very conservative attire even when you commute in rain/snow?

    If you don’t get any slack, how do you overcome this? Do you keep extra clothes in the office/pack your workday wear with you? Not walk on bad-weather days? Or are you given some leeway with clothing choices, like say trousers and/or boots rather than skirts/dresses/pumps/hose/tights??

    • Anon

      I work in a casual office and either walk or take a bus + walk, but we definitely get slack during bad weather. That being said, in winter I would usually wear two pairs of tights + commuting boots (either carry extra shoes or have them at the office) and a skirt/dress, plus my giant winter coat or rain coat. After arriving a work, I pull off the extra tights and swap out the shoes. I found that it was easier to look (and feel professional) in skirt/dress than trying to figure out how to keep pants not gross on my commute.

      • Zelda

        I would often wear a variation of this when walking to law school in the Midwest, though I’d keep the boots on at school. You can also wear leggings or sweatpants over tights/under boots and remove them once you arrive at work. Layers are your friend!

        I always commuted by car when I worked in the Midwest, but in general people didn’t wear snowboots in the office. Nicer boots (leather or equivalent) were acceptable but most people just changed shoes at the office since nice boots often aren’t practical in serious snow.

      • walking commute

        interesting thought about looking professional without trying to keep pants from getting gross. I hadn’t thought about that. I can totally see how a skirt + tall boots is probably less likely to get yucky than a pair of pants (even with heels or boots, unless they’re tucked in)

    • Diana Barry

      When I used to walk to work, I would get to work, immediately change in the bathroom, then go into my office. In winter I would wear sweatpants and in summer I would wear workout clothes. I always packed my workwear in my bag – almost never wore it on the way in.

      It totally depends on the office, though – some places will let you wear your snow boots on snowy days, and in other places that is Right Out. I would ask more people who have been there a while, if you are new.

    • Anon

      I always changed out of my snow boots into regular shoes once I got to my office. I usually wore dresses/skirts and a pair of warm leggings under them (and tights) then took the leggings off once I got to work as well. If it wasn’t slushy outside then I would wear my dress pants and usually my snow boots (for warmth and because they worked best with the hem length on my pants) and would change at work. My mom always thought I was strange for walking to work in a skirt on bad weather days, but it really was easier than pants if it was at all wet outside.

    • nutella

      I walk everyday — even in polar vortex! — and it’s all about layers. I wear dresses/skirts almost everyday, so I slip on leggings under the skirt and over my tights, which I then peel off when I get into the office. You should have proper shoes/snow or rain boots and woolly socks for very cold days. Likewise I have techgloves so I can use my phone while walking. Proper headwear, too, as for me my hair can frizz easily, so I have a hat and then the hood of my coat on over to keep my hair looking smooth. All of these layers come off when I get to my office very easily and very few people know I walk and wear all these layers. Also, always have an umbrella either in your bag or at your desk! And proper walking shoes — even when weather is not inclement.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I drive to work but on regular cold days most of us wear wool pea coats but on the crazy slush/snow days many of us are walking in with our ski jackets on. We still wear business attire but we enter and exit the building in more casual garb than usual.

    • CKB

      I walked (15 min) to the train for my old job. I’d often wear 2 pairs of tights with my dress, tall snow boots, boot socks (to protect my tights from the faux fur at the top of my boots) and my parka. A selection of basic work shoes were kept in my office at work year round (I’d carry a pair I didn’t want to keep at the office) because I’d commute in walking shoes in the summer, rather than pumps. I’d take off any extra layers & switch my footwear when I got to my office. Nobody batted an eye if they saw me walking down the hall all bundled up first thing in the morning.

  18. EK

    Slightly trolling but I want to say that gap has amazing fleece tights. Very warm and comfortable. I’ve run them through the washer and dryer several times without them stretching out or pilling.

    For those that live or work in the tundra, I highly recommend.

  19. Anonymous

    Can someone recommend good quality cashmere around Talbot’s price point? I just got the Audrey sweater and it’s soft and beautiful, but also enormous, and I got the petite xs. I’ve had the same issue with Land’s End in the past, and it seems that those are the most highly regarded brands on here.

    • lucy stone

      I like my Charter Club cashmere from Macy’s almost as much as my Talbots, but I am a much larger size than you so can’t tell you if it will fit as well.

  20. MJ

    I know Talbots’ sizing is enormous, but have you considered kids’ cashmere if you’re at the small end of the size range? (Not sure if this would work if you’re lanky, but…JCrew, nordys and garnet hill all have pricy sweaters for tots). Worth a try?!?!

    Does Boden run small enough for you? Try there too. Also maybe Pure Collection, their sister brand.

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