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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Dual Ombré Linen Blend Sweater

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Tie-dye seems to be the look this summer, doesn’t it? Even now, when dress codes have relaxed significantly, I can’t envision wearing anything tie-dyed for work, but this ombré sweater has a similar vibe. This would be great for a work-from-home day, or a more relaxed office. The linen-blend fabric is perfect for breezy summer evenings or overly air-conditioned offices.

The sweater is $275 and available in sizes P–L. Dual Ombré Linen Blend Sweater

A more affordable alternative is this linen top from Vince Camuto that has a dip-dye effect. It's $129 and comes in sizes XXS–XXL.

P.S. Earlier this morning, we published the first official post of the Corporette Book Club — check it out! 

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Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

325 Comments

  1. How did you figure out how to develop a sense of how to decorate your house / apartment?

    I’m in my mid 20s and so far in terms of wall and table decoration I have a few framed landscapes of places I’ve been / lived, a framed signed poster, and then a few framed pictures. For example I really like the musical Hamilton and I like quotes in general – I have a small (non Hamilton) framed quote on my desk at work. Would it be childish or look too much like a dorm room to put up a nice looking poster of a Hamilton lyric?

    I know it’s my apartment, decorate it however I like, but I also don’t want to live in a place that looks very “young”

    1. I think posters do read as being young, in the size and usually the design. I’d take a step back and see what you think your apartment is missing–is it a cohesive look? Does it feel bare? If that’s the case, usually the best solution is a rug and curtains, rather than individual decor pieces. I like the Live Your Style channel on youtube which has a whole series on finding your style and easy tips for making apartments and rentals feel more homey. I’d try following those tips and then decide on the decor. Another way to find your style is see which stores are your inspiration stores (like if you could live in a catalogue, which one would it be?) For me, that’s probably Ballard (traditional/transitional with bright colors and feminine accents). But you might gravitate to CB2, West Elm, Pottery Barn, etc. Heck, even IKEA has some wonderful rooms that are put together well with design and care. Apartment Therapy also has good inspiration but I find it leans more boho/eclectic. Lastly, I’d look in your area for a “design coach” or an interior designer that does a-la-carte consultations. I’ve been surprised to find several that offer design coaching for $75-$150 an hour. They could come in person/(Zoom, nowadays) and help you see what’s missing in your space and give suggestions. House of Valentina on Youtube has a more Scandinavian/European look (with tons of black as a power color) and hers are 100% virtual and $150, for example.

    2. I’m about your age. In terms of wall decoration, I have:
      – a string of paper birds I was given by a friend
      – a few framed prints of varying sizes from local art shops
      – one of those IKEA frames with the three 6×4 windows in it, containing three postcards from the Dior exhibit at the V&A last summer.

      One thing that helps vaguely is that they’re all in black frames (the birds aside) so it looks ‘intentional’ – if I were to get a Hamilton poster I would get it framed too.

      1. Yeah like I’m late 30s and 100% of what you described sounds young to me. And? You are young! Enjoy it!!

        1. +1. If you’re young, still moving frequently, and not spending a ton of money on decoration, it makes sense that your living space reflects your stage in life. Don’t try to rush your taste forward in time.

        2. Exactly! Nothing wrong it being young as long as you like it! I’m not moving so frequently any more (I own this place) but still unsure about this whole decorating thing.
          (My living room is millennial pink… but it was already that colour when I moved in!)

    3. I generally think that any “art” consisting of inspirational quotes or lyrics reads as juvenile. I think a nicely framed concert poster is fine.

    4. I think posters in general look young (even when framed) unless its something like a funky vintage advertisement or vintage movie poster or something similarly arty. It’s your house, you do you, but that’s my 2 cents.

      1. FWIW, I’m 28 and in my living room have a piece of original art I got at a charity arts show for like $150 plus a large print on canvas I got at TJMaxx for under $100. In my bedroom, I have two framed photographs taken by my mom and a framed vintage print of a flower (gift). Nothing was very expensive but they look nice and sort of eclectic.

    5. I think everything you said sounds perfectly nice – especially landscapes that are meaningful to you – except I personally don’t care for quotes as decor.

      Hamilton in particular – while amazing – is so ubiquitous at this point that even other movies can make jokes about quoting it (see the perfectly timed Immigrants line in Knives Out). Doesn’t mean certain lines can’t be particularly meaningful to you but counts against you in the “young” department.

    6. I think about the overall effect of a room (including feeling, textiles, lighting placement, architectural elements, etc) I want vs collecting stuff, if that makes sense. I buy stuff I like but work it into the decor – posters can look great if well placed whereas sticking a bunch of merchandise from shows you like around an apartment or having lots of decor items with quotes would be too much of the same. You want some contrast or variety.

    7. Pro tip from an old: When you are on vacation, buy a piece of art. I usually pick up a pretty ceramic piece, print, etc. Over time, it will add up, and each selection will fit together organically because you are picking things that you like. My house is decorated with art from the places I have visited, and I really like it.

      2. +2. The things in my home may not all “go” together in a traditional sense, but I am surrounded by things I love that remind me of adventures!

        1. It sounds like you are the unique thread that ties them together! I would guess that this comes through for people who know you or get to know you partly through the things in your home.

      3. +3 my home and my office (which I never see anymore and am tempted to go get my decorations from because I miss seeing them) are decorated with art from travels. I also keep meaning to do a gallery wall of framed pictures I’ve taken while traveling, though I never seem to get around to it.

      4. I have done this as well and I love it. Each piece or print has a special meaning.

      5. +4
        Over the years, I’ve accumulated a nice collection of items from my travels and make my home unique, show my interests and history.

    8. I would totally look at Etsy for something that reads “more intentional” – I recently bought my lawyer brother some cool Star Wars Prints that I put in nice frames that look like National Parks posters.

    9. Re: how to learn – Pinterest. Save photos of rooms you like. After you save enough of them, you’ll notice patterns and can figure out what you’re missing – painted furniture for a cottage look, sheer white curtains for a boho look, etc. Then it’s just shopping :)

    10. I think one poster can look ok, but it starts to look young and cheap when you have more than one. I’ve grown my art collection over time and it’s eclectic, which I think works – some is from my cousin when he was a freshman at RISD, some is from a noted Eastern European artist my husband is friends with, some was painted or sculpted by my aunt, and some is from our travels. A lot of it was free. See what catches your eye when you travel and buy things you love (and make friends with artists!)

      1. My grandmother was friends with a lot of artists and we “inherited” so many nice pieces when my grandfather downsized. It’s a really great way to collect art.

    11. Mid-late 30’s now but in my mid-20s I had the following pieces (all of which I still have and are still up):
      – A set of 3 small landscape scenes from East Africa (bought on vacation with my parents to Kenya at a craft market when I was 11 with my pocket money!)
      – A mask carving (gift from parents the Christmas after the trip above because I’d seen it but hadn’t been able to afford it)
      – A 3 part black and white desert landscape on canvas that I think was from Ikea (it was a gift – my first apartment after college had a huge wall and I had no idea how to fill it)
      – A print from Prague (took a trip there while studying abroad)
      – 4 black and white photos of London (bought while I was studying abroad there). 3 are framed together, one is framed on its own
      – A protest poster from the 1970s that I was gifted by a community theater that I volunteered at in college. It was enormous and the paper was very fragile so I didn’t display it. I kept it though and when I started my biglaw job and bought a house I had it professionally framed.

      Everything has a story and I still love each piece. Its ok to live with the blank space while you find things you really love.

    12. I’m with you, mid 20s, moving in a month and I’m determined that I actually like the way the new apartment looks, I know what I like when I see it, but have no way to make it happen.

      I do think though that quotes / posters look young.

    13. I’m in my mid 20s as well. All my furniture is in the same style – Mid Century modern. I think it helps my space look cohesive. My couch and my dining chairs are in the same fabric. Everything has simple lines. I know it can be a lot to buy new furniture all at once, but look around for deals and if you know you’ll keep it for a while, it may be worth it. Think Hayneedle, Wayfair, Overstock. If you’re posting about it, it must be on your mind you so maybe think what you’re willing to spend for something that you could keep for 5-6 years. I have recently just moved and am also struggling to find “afford” art. I was thinking about doing an accent wall of removable wallpaper. Don’t be afraid to buy replicas of art you really like! Check places like Society 6 or Art.com. And I know I just mentioned cohesive for the big items above, but maybe think about a gallery wall. You can keep the things that you may still like but don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone.

    14. I think style is an emergent property, so I’m very much a fan of Pinterest (or your favorite analogue equivalent) for this sort of thing. Add lots of things you like and see what kind of vibe emerges! The Pinterest algorithm can either help or hurt here, imo.

    15. I am a child of hoarders and also grew up in northern NJ, so everything was just overdoneth beyond wild extremes (and then encased in plastic, sometimes with fringe or gold trim and/or tassels). I have a pretty severed aesthetic as a result and want, as Edina Monsoon said upon the anticipated arrival of her minimalist friend, SURFACES.

    16. Be sure to check out Etsy for more unique/artsy takes on Hamilton prints. There are so many talented shop owners on there who sell affordable pieces that nod to pop culture without reading immediately as fan art. My fiance, for example, loves Seinfeld and Scrubs…I purchased him 4 beautiful watercolor prints on Etsy of scenes from both shows that just look like art prints to someone unfamiliar with the subject matter.

      1. Suggestion if you want something more arty with a Hamilton-esque feel to it–see if you can find a print of Roger Brown’s American Landscape with Revolutionary Heroes, which has always felt very Hamilton to me (before Hamilton was a thing). The original is in the North Carolina Museum of Art and they may have a print, though their online store is currently down (of course).

    17. I don’t think posters are inherently juvenile – I like styling them in a more mature way. I’ll frame them in a real frame (not a flimsy poster frame), and put them with other items in a gallery wall sometimes. Also, some posters look more “arty” than cheap – I tend to go for those. Sometimes its fun to put more quirky art in a bathroom or bedroom, vs a room you’d like to be more formal or adult.

    18. I am late to this, but in my 20s I had framed posters of two operas I had seen that had deeply impacted me – Porgy and Bess and Madama Butterfly. I don’t think it was juvenile – I still have both of them, just hung elsewhere. I ended up putting the Madama Butterfly print in my office for a while and I think it looked really nice there. It certainly sparked conversation with other music/theater lovers.

      So specifically to your Hamilton (and I don’t blame you, it’s a great musical, and if you like, we can debate whether it is actually an opera) then I think the key is a nice frame and a reasonable size.

      For me, Art is what is meaningful to you, and everyone else can shut up. Your home is a place that should delight you. It’s not a gallery for others to enjoy.

  2. I asked for recs on my sore tailbone when cycling last week and someone suggested it was a placement issue, that I needed to make sure my sit bones were connecting with the seat. I’ve made a conscious effort the last few days to move backward and it’s made a huge difference! And after a bit more practice with my giant toddler on the back, I’m feeling a lot more confident and stronger on the road. Highly recommend the Topeak rack system, super easy to swap a kid seat for a bike basket or panniers.
    Thanks team!

    1. awesome! make sure you’re pointing your tailbone at the road behind you, not down at the seat post (so your back is flat, not curved) and that will be so much more comfortable

  3. Easy question on a Tuesday: Does anyone have a nail buffer they can recommend? I like the simple sheen of buffed nails (so much simpler than polish) and have tried a bunch of options over the years to get it, but the only one that really worked has been discontinued.

    1. I use those 4-way ones that you can buy at the drugstore. The file style is more flexible and easier to use than the block style for me. I have strong, fast-growing nails so they can handle roughing up the surface as part of getting the shine.

      1. Threadjack on a threadjack – have you always had strong nails or do you take a supplement/use a hardener? My nails bend and peel constantly.

        1. Mine do too and I’ve tried every nail strengthener and every supplement (even those specific for hair & nails w/biotin) and nothing works. I’m convinced it’s genetics. But if anyone has a suggestion, please respond. I used Nailtique (I think that’s what it’s called) and it seemed to help but then they started to peel again.

          1. I do think it’s genetics. My grandmother and I have the same nails – short, bendy, peely. My sweet grandmother has put nail strengthener on her nails for 96 years and it’s never really made a difference :)

          2. Yes, genetics. I also have the short, bendy, peely nails. My daughter has my husband’s grandmother’s nails exactly – they grow long, strong and never break. They even look like hers.

        2. I think it’s genetics. I am hard on my nails (cook, lift weights, hand wash things often) and my nails grow like gangbusters, as do my son’s. My mom has terribly weak nails and has never been able to make them grow. She just does wraps now (or well, did before) and that’s about the only way she can have them grow past her fingertips.

        3. I don’t use supplements, it’s genetic good luck. The downside is that manicures (including gels and dips) grow out super fast so I keep natural nails the majority of the time. My hair grows fast too. My nails did need some TLC after removing artificial nails several times and the nail specific supplements seemed to help them recover.

        4. Eat jello. Seriously. I played classical guitar a lifetime ago (requires strong fingernails) and consuming gelatin made a noticeable difference.

          1. I too have tried Biotin supplements and wasn’t sure if it really worked. I think collagen supplements work a lot better. i take youtheory collagen supplements from Costco and I think it has really worked to enhance my nails and hair. My nails in particular seem to grow a lot faster and stronger.

      2. I used to have thin, easily breakable nails for my whole life, but now they are relatively strong. I bought Japaneese manicure set and use it once every few weeks.

    2. Dior nail glow is great. It’s all I use now (apply once a week) and has made huge difference in protecting my weak nails

  4. Talk to me about types of window treatments – what in your experience have been the pros and cons of curtains vs. shades vs. blinds vs. some combination?

    1. We bought the Hoppvals cellular blinds from IKEA and have been pleased with those. Not ugly, metal pull blinds but also not expensive window treatments. With tweens who aren’t particularly gentle even when prompted, they are perfect.

      1. Realizing my wording about metal pull blinds was rude. I’d only had the cheapest of the cheap metal once’s, hence their being ugly. I’m sure there are more expensive ones that look nice, but would want to make sure they didn’t have a cord (strangulation risk for children)

    2. We did a new build several years ago and had to get all new window treatments installed. We just went with blinds on the majority of the windows.

      For the sliding door, we got this roller shade instead of vertical blinds. We have cats so the shades are pulled up partially so they can still look outside.

      Honestly, I’m not very good at interior design so blinds were the easiest decision and the company came and installed everything. I didn’t want to mess with finding the right style of curtains and figuring out lengths and installing curtain rods.

    3. We love our roman shades (blinds.com did a great job). In some rooms we have top-down roman shades for privacy/light, in other rooms we have the regular (cord free) ones. In the bedrooms, we have pull-down blackout shades and curtains in front of those for a softer look.

    4. Curious about this too! We have curtains up on some windows in our downstairs living areas and fabric shades in all bedrooms but I’m seriously considering plantation shutters for our family room. We have a shed-y cat and dog – I would assume wood shutters are best for allergies/easiest to keep clean?

      1. we put plantation shutters in to our new home. It is obscenely expensive and we have a lot of windows (we used cellular shades in the bedrooms and upstairs where not front-facing) but they are absolutely fantastic and I highly recommend. You can do parts of the house at a time, too, to spread out the cost.

    5. I’ve learned that you should think in terms of two things: light and privacy. Ask yourself in each room: is this a room where I will need privacy? Is this a room where I will need darkness? Depending on your answers, choose window treatments that do or do not provide what is needed. If you need darkness and also privacy (e.g. bedroom), blinds are a great option because the tilt allows you to adjust and allow some light in while also keeping you private. If you need privacy but not darkness (living room windows along the street, for example), consider top down honeycomb shades. I really wish the people who sold us our house had used these in public spaces on the first floor! Honeycombs apparently also help with heat reduction from the sun (important in hot places). When you are going for decoration and impact, fabric curtains can be added. Inexpensive roller shades can often be added behind things for extra light-reduction.

    6. I have cellular shades from Lowe’s because my research indicated they are the most energy efficient window coverings. I got the type without a cord (a bit more expensive, but worth it, in my opinion). I love them because they’re simple and look very tailored, and they were very easy for me to install on my own. I put them inside the window frame because I like that look and because it leaves me with the option of adding curtains to the windows as well.

      In my former house I had wooden shutters indoors, and those were really really nice. The only problem was that the mechanism to open the blind part got loose after some time, so you had to have them completely open or completely closed. I’m sure I could have gotten that fixed, but I never bothered.

    7. I’d recommend slatted wood blinds in white on pretty much every regular window where you would like to control how much light actually gets through and how much privacy you have at every angle, and then perhaps put decorative curtains around the window as well.

      The top-down/bottom-up cellular shades seem fantastic for privacy if your home is not surrounded by tall buildings, but you will not achieve full darkness with them in a room.

      The best curtain/blackout combination I’ve discovered so far (in an urban bedroom with sliding glass doors, so trying to block artificial light at night without entirely blocking morning light), was to use curtain rings, textured cotton Ikea curtain panels hemmed to size at a dry cleaner’s, with BB&Beyond blackout liners clipped to the back of the curtain panels using the same curtain rings.

      In generaly, hang curtain rods as close to ceiling height as possible.

      1. I have those in my whole house and LOVE them. Didnt get wood, got fake wood it was cheaper you can’t tell.

    9. I just had my condo renovated this past winter and had curtains replace the vertical blinds over my two sliding doors.
      In my bedroom, the curtains have a black-out lining in them which is really helpful on the weekends when I sleep in late. There is no sheer here since I want to get as much light in as I can since the apartment faces north.

      In the living room, floor-length curtains again replaced the vertical blinds on my sliding door. In the big window, I have Hunter Douglas Silhouette window shades with floor-length curtains over the blinds. These blinds do a good job of not blocking all light into the room but providing some privacy since the window opens straight into the room. In the morning, there is a very diffuse light in the living room but not blinding the person sleeping in the sofa.

      The nice thing about curtains is that it provides another layer of color/print/texture to the room’s design.

  5. Does anyone have books or other resources for parenting a child of elementary school age, especially around social issues? The toddler years came intuitively to me (maybe because I’m a toddler in my head lol) but my rising kindergartener is occasionally having issues with friends and interpersonal interactions and I’m not sure how to talk to her about them. It’s all normal stuff, like A sat with B at lunch today at camp instead of with me and I’m afraid she never wants to be my friend again. I want to respond in a way that keeps her talking to me but I don’t always know what to say. Also one of her friends is showing bullying tendencies and I want to know how to correct that in my own kid if she heads down that path as well.

    1. Not specifically, but I follow A Mighty Girl on Facebook, and they have lots of fantastic book suggestions for both girl and parent. There are definitely bullying books (of differing age levels).

    2. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
      Little Girls Can Be Mean (but please do not take the author’s suggestion to have the child write a letter to the bully)
      American Girl Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends

    3. “A Kid’s Book About *fill in the blank””

      We got racism, feminism and divorce. I think there’s one on bullying in their library too.

  6. ISO recommendations for built-in bra/shelf tanks. I’ve gotten addicted to wearing nursing tanks, but I’m not breastfeeding anymore and I don’t want to wear them out before I have another kid. The only ones I’m finding are at Express and Duluth Trading. Any other sources I should check out? Can anyone put me in a time machine to my middle school when this style was ubiquitous?

    1. Sporty stores? Title 9, Athleta, Patagonia, EMS, REID? Otherwise maybe Target would have some or inexpensive nursing tanks?

    3. I can recommend the ones from Duluth, but the bust part runs a little large, so they’re only good if you’re moderate to busty.

    4. Honestly I weaned my youngest a couple years ago and had the bravado tanks converted to regular ones by a seamstress. Never found any other that are sized by cup and band size like those vs small med large

    5. Garnet Hill usually carries a few fancy Hanro of Switzerland ones. Search on Herroom.com. I also just saw some on Eddie Bauer.

  7. I live in NYC and am trying to date. I’ve had a few decent online dates with one guy, and we’ve texted almost daily for the past few weeks. We’re now planning to meet in person (obviously in normal life it would’ve happened weeks ago, but we live far apart and it’s not simple). We can meet in the park and start with social distance. But usually I’ll kiss and sometimes garden on a first date if there’s chemistry, seeing how things go, accepting it might not work out. But now even minor physical contact seems like unprotected gardening, in that I’d want to talk first about his overall risktaking comfort, especially in-person contact (dating or platonic contact doesn’t matter, just overall intensity/risk). Given that personal contact is riskier than usual, ideally I’d want to feel like we’re on the same page about wanting to move toward a relationship, too. Yet of course we haven’t had those conversations…we haven’t even met! It would make perfect sense for him to be seeing other women (I’m talking to multiple guys online but no other meetups yet). I’ve gathered from conversational context that he’s at minimum following basic safety guidelines/working from home.

    Curious about what others would do/have done. How much is appropriate to ask about, and when (while planning date, at start of date, only after chemistry emerges…)? I have a hard time finding guys I like, so I don’t want to waste a good chance, or make things completely weird, or act more standoffish and rigid than I normally am. Of course we don’t know each other enough to date exclusively, but if he’s making the (totally valid) choice to be seeing others in a way that seems risky to me, I might not want to date him. If I like him, I’d be willing to hold off on meeting other guys until I see if things develop with him, but that might be a little intense to propose mutually…

    Would especially appreciate responses from people who are living cautiously. I’m not one of the elevator posters but if I know that if I lived in an elevator building I’d find it stressful to navigate, and don’t think it’s helpful to call everyone who’s concerned “anxious” as they try to figure out how to live. I’m not high risk but I personally know several women my age (under 40) who have died or are still disabled 3+ months after getting sick.

    1. I like to think I am living cautiously, but also am attempting to date in the time of Corona.

      Since this is not normal times, I think it’s perfectly appropriate to talk about risk tolerance levels and what the other person is comfortable with. I have done this and it hass be well received. Honestly, I don’t want to date anyone who is interested in throwing caution completely to the wind right now, but I am okay with meeting up and being socially distant if the other person and I are on the same page (or close enough) and have discussed our risk tolerance and how we want to conduct a socially distant date. If I am not comfortable with the person’s approach, I would not meet up with them and consider it a bullet dodged. I think your analogy to unprotected sex is a good one. If I want to use protection (duh) and someone else doesn’t, that’s a huge red flag and I walk. I take the same approach with dating during Corona. No dude is worth permanent health damage to me.

      1. Thanks, I think the comment about not being into the conversation being a red flag is helpful.

    2. I wouldn’t bring it up until you know you’re interested (so, during or after the date). I’d probably state what I am comfortable with, i.e. physical contact with one person only, who is doing the same. I think someone who is interested in dating you and is taking good precautions would readily agree, and anything other than that (including a vague response or deflection) tells you you’re not on the same page.

      I feel for you. Talking about exclusivity (sort of) on a first date is not what anyone signed up for.

    3. I’m in a similar situation and I do a first date in a park or for a walk without a lot of questions but talk about it before getting closer. It hasn’t been awkward! Guys are living through Covid too they’ve all been perfectly receptive to a “hey here’s what I’m comfortable with what are you doing” convo.

      1. Thanks, this is great to hear, and it makes sense that decent guys would be receptive to the conversation.

    4. Yeah COVID has made me a total prude. I used to go out with three different guys a week. Now, no cuddling no kissing no gardening until I’m comfortable talking to you about exclusivity. I suppose the upside is I’ll be much more picky about who I spend time with – no longer will a meh first date get a second date, I’m only going out with people I’m excited about. We’ll see how long that lasts before I get desperate.

    5. I’m in the same boat. A guy was a little weird with me when I suggested a second virtual date. I just don’t think you can be too careful. It’s SO weird and it’s making me not even want to try. I fear that people will latch onto the first prospect because of loneliness and COVID stress. I had a full, active life before this and never felt the profound loneliness that COVID is making me feel, and I worry it is going to make me make bad dating choices.

      1. I’m with you on all this…except instead of bad dating choices, it would be no dating at all for me! :) Which maybe is a bad dating choice too, given how lonely I am!

      2. +1000 to this. Loneliness + a relationship that recently didn’t work out + being at a stage in my life that I do want to try and put myself out there to find my person but how the heck?? I’m like OP and am not too ashamed to admit I garden when I feel like the person is worth it. Because I had that mindset before, it’s hard for me to even get excited about a new type of dating. Especially since I recently had something not work out but because we had been seeing each other for months, we were okay with spending the nights, cuddling, and all the good couple stuff. Now that I don’t know what that looks like at this point and I have to learn how to date differently, it makes this gal who wants to try feel caught in a catch 22. There are obviously bigger problems in the world but I’m happy that more ladies on this board are openly posting about dating/gardening struggles, wanting a relationship, and how to navigate.

      3. @ 11:25 – I don’t see it as you making “bad dating choices” if they are deliberate. I think it’s fine to say “eh, this is a hot guy I’d probably have a few one night stands with in non-COVID times. In COVID times, we are going to date exclusively for awhile so we can enjoy time together but I know this isn’t my future husband.”

        I also like the idea of agreeing to be physically exclusive early but that it doesn’t preclude you from still virtual dating and if you click better with someone else, you either break it off with number 1 for number 2 (physically) or you have a conversation with number 1 about changing the exclusivity arrangement or breaking up.

    7. Silver lining, this has been a good litmus test. I don’t begrudge anyone their own comfort level with COVID, but you absolutely must respect mine. Kinda like condom use, which is also a good litmus test, but by the time it’s an issue it is SUCH a letdown when the guy fails. At least I’m not amped up and ready to go when a guy scoffs at COVID boundaries.

  8. Hi all. I’m kind of struggling today and would love some advice. While (thankfully) all my loved ones are healthy, our jobs haven’t been hugely affected by Covid, etc. — I am increasingly despondent over the state of affairs in this country. The news that international students whose colleges are going online are going to be denied access back here is like the final nail in the coffin right now, as I am heavily engaged with a student group at my alma mater and this affects some of them. It’s not their fault the universities are going online, and i’m hopeful our alma mater will come up with some b.s. “in-person” class where they do jumping jacks in a meadow or something to get around it, but I find myself increasingly mad at a) my extended family / relatives who are lax about social distancing / masking / etc. – even though they don’t live near me – and b) my extended family members who have supported Trump and will likely do so in the fall – even though they don’t actively discuss it with me (so it’s not like they are picking fights with me over it). I know the mantra is “control what you can and let go what you can’t,” but I am having an exceptionally hard time doing so right now, and my blood pressure is through the roof. I’d love some suggestions.

    1. Honestly, with the state of things, if I were an international student, I wouldn’t want to come back right now. Everyone (even those who are being lax about social distancing and masking) is impacted by this right now. There is literally no one that’s getting out unscathed.

      1. While that may be true for wealthy students from wealthy countries, there are also students from poor countries, here on scholarships that face much bigger hardship at home. Many don’t even have internet where they live (not for lack of money but for lack of infrastructure) so going to school remotely from their home country is impossible.

    2. Disengage. Mute, unfollow. Meditate. Long walks. Yoga. Not because I’m downplaying the struggle but because your mental health matters!

    3. Four months until election day. Six months until a new administration. I really believe this nightmare is almost over.

      1. And no matter what the polls show, no matter how big of a pre-election lead is racked up, VOTE ANYWAY. Do not get complacent.

      2. The nightmare of a great economy, a President who loves America, record low black unemployment, the American embassy in Jerusalem, ISIS demolished, pulling out of Afghanistan after almost twenty years… that nightmare?

        OOOHHH!! I remember the problem. Trump does not soothe your status/class vanity.

        1. Yeah, he’s loving America to death all right. 150K dead and countless more disabled is such a love letter to America!

        2. A president who loves *white America. FTFY.

          He’s a colossal moron and any “victories” that happened on his watch, he stumbled into accidentally.

          1. Nah, he just loves himself and the adulation he gets from white America. Nothing to do with loving his country or its citizens.

        3. Trump is also the first president to support gay marriage before becoming president and supports Israel.

          1. He also enacted some criminal justice reforms that I have to wonder why no one else did. So random his work with Kim Kardashian, but I am finding myself strangely supporting it.

          2. Any support he may have shown for gay marriage prior to becoming president is undone by having Pence as his VP. And supporting Israel is a big negative in my book.

          3. we get it, orange man bad… seriously that argument is so boring and lazy. i’ll assume you don’t support Isreal because BLM doesn’t or you’re an anti-semite.

          4. He was only okay with gay marriage because it’s the law of the land and because it’s no longer considered politically costly to be in support of it (or at least not actively against it). This is thanks to Obama and the work of Democrats. Obama was almost certainly personally in favor of legalizing gay marriage before becoming president, it’s just that public attitudes in 2008 were vastly, vastly different than they are now. Republicans who aren’t openly against gay marriage get no credit for being late the the party. And that goes quadruple for Republicans who are okay having VPs who are 100% against gay marriage.

        4. …great economy? Not really. Look around.
          …loves America? If by America you mean upper middle class straight white religious men or persons whose name ends in “Inc.” then, sure okay. But I can’t say I really feel loved by Trump when he’d much rather grab me by the p*ssy and cut off my right to an abortion than listen to anything I have to say. (While also mocking me as a godless bleeding heart liberal snowflake antifa thug-loving feminazi).

          I’m not even sure what it means to say that Trump doesn’t “soothe [my] status/class vanity.” What does that word salad even mean?

        5. No, the nightmare of a corrupt politician who is enslaved to Russia and actively wants and is running the kind of corrupt government found there.

        6. This is a troll post (Anon at 10:45 a.m.). Ignore it. They’re just trying to get a reaction

          1. It’s probably LaurenB responding to herself. She posts her support for POC then posts racial slurs (spelling them out) she supposedly thwarted. Then she claims all black people are too sensitive to well-meaning remarks from white people …

      4. I’m not so optimistic and truly terrified he will be reelected. And for all of the people that say “don’t like it, move” we can’t because other countries aren’t allowing Americans in right now because of our terrible handling of COVID.

        1. And other reasons. A lot of countries we could have easily visited before still forbade us working there / potentially taking jobs from locals. Ethically, I can’t work except where I am licensed, so there is also that. Unless you are a novelist, I think it’s not so easy.

          1. Sorry for the double post above. The first one posted before I finished writing it somehow. I must have found a keyboard shortcut.

            Anyway, yes, how ironic that those that vehemently oppose immigration in the US think other countries should just accept us fleeing liberals with open arms. It doesn’t work that way even in non-COVID times. COVID just makes it even harder to escape on a temporary basis.

          2. Unless you’re a *wealthy* novelist. Even novelists can’t just pick up and move to another country because they want to and have geographic flexibility, you have to demonstrate that you’re financially capable of supporting yourself.

      5. I just really hope this isn’t a case of out of the frying pan, into the fire. My nightmare is that the next administration will be blamed for the inevitable fallout of this administration (the economic effects of pandemic that we haven’t felt yet; food shortages if we keep destroying food to manipulate prices; and more illness and death since it’s going to be hard to turn the pandemic train around overnight), and then our current president or a candidate built on his model will run again and win in 2024.

    4. I don’t know if I have any suggestions but I’m right there with you. I thought I would get to see my nephew on his first birthday in a couple weeks – but with cases rising in both our states, it’s too risky. We had a family “staycation” planned for August and I think that’s out, too. When I see people bleating that they won’t wear a mask and that it’s all a hoax, I want to scream-cry.
      So far muting FB has helped the most. I’m still really, really sad and I spent a chunk of last week in tears. I know I have it comparatively easy but I truly miss my family.

    5. Exercise, stay off of Facebook, donate to causes you care about, and vote. That’s all I can do and it’s taking the edge off (barely). The anger at my fellow Americans can’t get much higher…

      1. Also, I’ve gotten angry at my fellow progressives too. This is partly a me problem and I know that I’m stressed, but I’ve found it so aggravating to be told that if I want to be an “ally,” I have to use exactly the right words and have exactly the right political positions or I’m a monster. I feel like my ability to think for myself is being criticized right at a time when I’m trying to advocate for myself and my own safety due to my two high-risk conditions during this pandemic. It’s a really weird time.

        1. This has been a problem for me too. I thought that throwing myself into advocacy would help me feel like I was making a difference, but I’m spending more time checking my own phrasing and self-censoring than I expected and it’s just made me more tired and sad. Someone told me that intersectionality meant I HAD to support the BDS movement against Israel and I gave up for the day.

          1. Ugh the gate-keeping and purity testing is exactly why I am no longer affiliated with a political party. I’m done trying to appease people who think we all need to be carbon copies of one another.

          2. Seriously. There’s an Atlantic headline about how J.K. Rowling is Voldemort now and I’m completely over the 100% conformity expected on that and so many other social issues right now. People seem to care more about rushing to get their correct opinions seen publicly than about actually doing anything good in the world.

          3. +1 if I get told I’m not a good enough activist, I’m going to lose it. So many of those infographics are just factually wrong, people will tell me that I am wrong in my own damn field of study and then cite an infographic created by an influencer and I just can’t anymore. I feel like a lot of very left leaning people are getting alienated.

          4. FOR REAL. There’s no room for nuance any longer and if you stack rank issues accordingly to how much they mean to you, you’re a monster. I will never have the bandwidth to care about all of the things equally.

        2. Seriously. I am donating to a food bank. And otherwise, keeping my blinders on and muting everything. I feel like there is so much suffering and instead of everyone grabbing an oar and rowing, a good chunk of daily noise is from people taking the oars and hitting each other. I fear we are becoming our own circular firing squad.

        3. Yes, thank you for this. I feel this too, and it’s alienating and exhausting. You’ve helped me by putting it so well.

        4. +1, there is no room for discourse. I think we likely all agree about the problems in our society but cancel culture makes it impossible to have a data driven discussion on the results we have seen in our various communities of trying different social programs and policing approaches. We could learn a lot from each other but aren’t.

          3. I wish we knew how to do that, though. There are some great initiatives out there (Heterodox Academy comes to mind), but they’re not widespread.

          4. It’s not cancel culture, it’s consequence culture which seems so oppressive because certain people aren’t used to having consequences for their actions.

          5. Hard disagree. You should not have “consequences” like job loss and online mobbing for expressing a different opinion. You know that that kind of bullying doesn’t actually change minds, right? If your goal is to get more people to agree with you, you might want to try debate and appealing to common ground.

          6. But it’s not a mob deciding to fire someone. It’s a business making a business decision (because let’s be real, they don’t make decisions that are not based on money) that they don’t want to be associated with someone with reprehensible views. The free market works both ways.

          7. I disagree with that as well. When public educational institutions and charities are axing people for wrongthink after the online mob tells them to, that goes beyond “free market” decisions.

          8. Don’t want to lose your job? Don’t do dumb shit publicly. Otherwise your job may deem you not worth the reputational risk. That’s capitalism baby! I thought y’all worshipped at the altar of this shit.

          9. The problem that expressing anything other than the progressive party line is now “dumb shit” that could have you losing your job. That’s not right.

          10. Anon@12:26, I don’t think we’re anywhere near ‘wrongthink’ territory. Expressing opinions is clearly a sacred civil right, but we have always had nuances to this freedom of expression (death threats or inciting violence were never ok) and we’re renegotiating these nuances periodically, for example thinking about hate speech and balancing freedom of speech with the harm done to others. There is a world of nuance between saying ‘I think a certain policy/tool is the wrong way to address systemic racism/sexism’ and denying that these issues exist, for example.

          11. Again, that’s the free market — if you don’t like it, leave :)

            No one has lost their job for being a decent person. The backlash is limited to people who are credibly accused of sexual misconduct, or are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.

          12. Ugh @ 1:24, you can’t just leave, no matter how much we may want to. See discussion above.

          13. @1:48 I know, I was mocking the rightwing nutjobs who love to yell that at anyone who looks vaguely brown and dares to voice an opinion. It’s an idiotic suggestion even in normal times.

          14. You don’t get it. It’s not cool for you to unilaterally decide and enforce what’s racist. You are contributing to a worse marketplace of ideas when you support environments where people can’t even say things like “I support socioeconomic-based affirmative action instead of race-based” without getting cancelled and shunned. There are so many Puritan overtones in your approach and it’s alarming and bad for society.

          16. Honestly, no one is unilaterally deciding. Society changes with the times. Either get on board or don’t but then you can’t complain when you have to face the consequences.

            And no one has really been cancelled. Society continually shows so much grace and second chances for white people (especially men) that is rarely extended to BIPOC.

    6. Read more news, not less.

      The rule around online classes and visas has, AFIK, been in effect for decades. There was a waiver for it in the spring because of how rapidly things happened and how unprecedented the situation was, but the “new rule” is simply reinstating a rule that existed right up until February.

      It’s easy to be mad when you think things are new and different, and therefore, deliberately hurtful; it’s easier to take it in stride if you understand the full context.

      1. This is true, but it doesn’t change the impact for the fall. And people who work with students know the many ways student visa holders have been affected all throughout this administration.

      2. It’s also easy to be mad when you have no idea how the government works and no idea of history and all you do is read headlines.

        1. Like the poster from yesterday who wanted books to read re Hamilton . . . I know it was a sincere Q, but for as well-read and enlightened as this board is, sometimes it is just like the world writ large, no better and no worse

          1. Wait…how are we now turning on somebody saying they’d like to learn more about any subject and shame them for not already knowing everything about every subject?

          2. I asked about Hamilton yesterday. You know, I almost didn’t ask it, because I thought there’d be some way someone would turn it into some sort of political offense or something. Then I thought, no, that’s stupid, I’m making it clear that it simply made me think about how much more I could learn, and how dumb would someone have to be to take issue with that?

          3. Sadly there is no topic benign enough for this forum. So much rudeness and judgment over every little thing.

      3. “It’s easy to be mad when you think things are new and different, and therefore, deliberately hurtful; it’s easier to take it in stride if you understand the full context”

        This is true, but sometimes the opposite is also true– the deeper you dig the more you realize how entrenched harmful/discriminatory laws and policies are. (Not saying this applies to the visa issue– really not my area of expertise and I don’t know enough to comment.)

      4. You’re correct that this is reinstating an existing rule, but the situation has changed dramatically. The proportion of online classes is vastly greater, and not because anyone much wants to teach online. It’s safer! In my (blue and relatively rural) state, we are not fully reopened. My university is in large part leaving choice of teaching modality up to faculty, but heavily pushing online teaching. Oops – but if I teach online, I may lose several students because they need in-person classes.

        1. I’m fully aware that this is reinstating an existing rule; however, the world has changed since the beginning of 2020, and schools that are going online are doing so because that is a safer thing to do. We should be encouraging smart people from all over the world to come here and learn / study — and we should be shaming the US citizen morons at Party-On-State-U who flocked to Florida beaches during spring break.

          Oh btw for the people who are trying to pull the “Trump supported gay marriage, Israel, blah blah blah” – don’t even. I have lawyer friends that worked on some of his properties who are still waiting for the seven figure checks he owes them. I have other friends in the trades who did work in his Atlantic City casinos that are waiting for their money as well. Don’t be so unsophisticated that you think that we don’t know he’s been a charlatan for years; we know better.

      5. Sure. But given that there was an exemption from this rule due to the national emergency – which is still ongoing – you don’t think that the decision to reinstate the rule/end the exemption is unnecessarily cruel? Especially for students who are in the midst of a course of education, and whom don’t necessarily have easy options for either returning home or transferring to another school? “More news, not less” would also encompass Stephen Miller’s virulent anti-immigration policies that have ripped families apart and broken the back of our (admittedly far from perfect!) immigration system? So while I appreciate what (I believe) you’re trying to convey to the OP, I think you are also taking quite a pointed view of the situation.

    7. LaurenB, I totally hear you and I am right there with you. I am trying to find a balance between sticking my head in the sand and staying informed but with boundaries for my mental health.

      What has helped me, oddly, is the realization that things have always been awful for most people, but I just never had to face it because I’ve had a comparatively easy life. Trump, COVID, George Floyd, etc. is forcing me to face it on a daily basis. But one person cannot carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Think about what you can do to make a difference, whether it’s calling your representatives, becoming an advocate or ally, donating money, getting more political involved, whatever. Do that thing, repeatedly. Taking action really does help. It might not seem like much because you’re one person, but if every person does a little, it adds up. Also, you may not be able to change everything, but you can affect the people and places in your orbit a LOT, and that does matter! Think of the story about the guy throwing starfish back into the sea: might seem futile, but it made a big difference to that one.

      Also, recognize that you alone cannot change the world and we are all caught up in movements and madness much larger than ourselves. Give yourself the grace to know when you need to take a few screen-free days and take care of yourself.

      And stay off social media! Seriously.

      Sending you hugs.

  9. Amy Cooper (of the Central Park incident) has been charged with making a false report to police. I’m glad.

    1. Good, but that was also 100 years ago and my outrage is DOA. This year is doing me in.

  10. This is totally random, but I was wondering if the law associate who went off the grid for that canoe trip last year when there was a deadline is still reading this site and can provide an update. Did anything ever happen now that it was a while ago and the US is trash?

      1. How did you link to specific threads like that?? I’ve never seen that before, and it seems very useful for this site.

        1. I assume you mean how did you find the comments, vs how to link to a specific thread? In the search engine starting with G, do site:corpor3tt3 dot com (replacing with e’s and . ) and then the topic you want to search.

          That’s how I found the nearly-identical question about Jessica Mulroney’s “un Canadian” makeup (lol) that I remembered from earlier this year…

          1. Oh wait, I realize now the link goes to the exact comment – that is a new trick I haven’t seen before! Withdraw the above, and co-sign the question :)

        2. If you hover over the date underneath the poster’s name, it is a link. You can right click, copy link address, and paste it.

  11. My 72 year-old MIL is flying to visit us in a couple of weeks and I am getting more and more nervous about it. She will have an N95 mask and shield on, but I keep reading about cases soaring and this visit is to see her grandkids, which i understand is important, but not essential. Asking her to not come will probably not go well…ugh. Thanks for reading my vent.

    1. If you don’t want her to come, ask to “postpone” it. You get to set your own boundaries and it’s a freaking pandemic. If anyone gets hurt about your boundaries, especially in this scenario, that’s their own problem.

      1. +1 million. This is not an essential trip. Say that cases have spiked since she booked and you’re no longer comfortable.

    2. We aren’t letting MIL visit. We’re in an old hotspot (northeast) and she’s in a new hotspot (southeast). We’re not allowing a visit, let alone visit via a flight. But then the comment yesterday about someone’s friend being in a house with positive cases and was going to fly back home today… NFW.

      2. I mean sure if you don’t mind lung damage. The most paranoid ppl I know about covid are DH’s sports obsessed friends in Europe. Many of the leading sports hospitals there are seeing significant lung damage even in cases where the athletes felt like they only had a ‘minor’ case.

      3. Deaths are a lagging indicator. Covid doesn’t kill immediately; when it kills, it normally takes 4 to 6 weeks. Let’s see if deaths are still down in another few weeks. Given the increased hospitalization rates in many new hotspots, I’m sadly not helpful

      4. Going to hop in here again to remind everyone that death is a lagging indicator. Cases surge (past several weeks), then hospitalizations (now), then deaths. Look at the graphs from NYC etc. in March, April, May. Please stop spreading this talking point.

      5. Tell that to my portable oxygen tank that I have to keep by my side at all times due to the lung damage from Covid.

      6. Nick Cordero, a healthy active 41 year old with no preexisting conditions, took 91 days to die from hospital admission in March to this week.

        I didn’t know he existed before all of this. I’m grateful his story is out there because it’s not just a fat person thing. It’s not just a diabetic thing. It’s not just an old person thing. It’s not just an asthmatic thing.

        I’m no anxious person and we are absolutely out and about as state and local guidelines allow for the most part (still not dining indoors or getting a mani/pedi) in my old northeast hotspot state that continues to have declining cases and open up. But, I’m also the sister of an ICU NP who treated COVID patients exclusively for 90 days and was signing 2-3 death certificates personally in a single shift. Her first ‘good day’ was in May when she ‘only’ signed one.

        Damn this narrative is so dangerous. Deaths are most certainly coming.

      7. The explanation for deaths not following the increases in cases is that many of the positive cases are in younger people. That would seem irrelevant to the case of a 72 year old….

    4. Are you sure that visiting her grandkids isn’t essential to her? Have you had an open conversation where you discuss risk tolerance, what ifs, etc?

      1. It doesn’t matter if grandma thinks it’s essential. The parent gets to make the choice and it’s not up for debate.

          1. OP here – grandma is a retired nurse and believes that she can fly and avoid getting it. She is very well-read and up to date on all of the latest info and research. I trust her but I am also so hesitant and worried.

          2. Why does her being a retired nurse make her special and unable to get it? Or carry it? Honestly, I would be more concerned about her bringing the virus into my house and infecting my family. The lung damage afterwards is not to be messed with.

        2. Great, another example of people not wanting to sit down and have a conversation.

          If the 72 year old mother does not have Covid, is willing to take the risk of contracting Covid while traveling to see family and also has the ability to shelter in place at the residence of her grandchildren for 14 days if she contracts Covid, then I don’t see the problem if the OP is also okay with this situation.

          1. “If the OP is also okay with the situation.” It doesn’t sound like she is, hence the comments. It’s not grandma’s right to fly in and infect the entire family.

  13. A very close friend had to indefinitely postpone her wedding due to COVID, and it now looks like they may choose to have a much smaller (<10 people), local ceremony instead which I will not be able to attend. I'd still like to send something to celebrate the occasion, but am having trouble coming with ideas since they're not registered. Did any -rettes have anything they truly appreciated as a wedding gift? Any suggestions are very welcome, thank you!

    2. I agree to cash, as suggested above. Also, if you are set on doing something physical, a fancy champagne gift basket with chocolates, nuts, etc. is also a go-to for me for celebratory gifts (can you tell? I recommend it here every time a question like this comes up.)

      1. I realize I didn’t necessarily answer your question! As far as gifts we received that we truly appreciated, those were almost exclusively from our registry and were either items that we needed but were expensive (bedside lamps) or were just extremely practical (hangers and a clothes steamer). I think that not registering is an accepted signal that the couple doesn’t want these types of gifts, and would prefer cash.

      3. Going off this, if you can/want to gift alcohol, consider sending a bottle of mead for the “honey moon,” which is not only a fun play on words, but mead did play a big role in the original “honeymoon” before it evolved into what we do today.

        But also, mead is delicious!

    3. I appreciated everything we were given, but we were also very particular with our registry. The registry had items ranging from $20 (iced tea glasses, washable wine glasses, bread basket) to $300, and I think of the people who gave them to us every time we used them.

      If there is no registry, I would go with a lovely bottle of champagne or maybe a decanter set.

    4. I didn’t register because I didn’t want to select presents for people to buy and didn’t really want so many presents (cash or otherwise).

      I really appreciated small, thoughtful gifts from people who cared about me. I treasure those things because they help me remember the people who gave them to me. Even if they’re not my style, I can keep them tucked away.

    5. Just to factually answer your question, one of our friends got us a Le Creuset Dutch oven for our wedding that I had no idea that I wanted and 10 years later we still use it, I think of him every time we do, and think how he hit the nail on the head for the rare gift that was off registry that was truly appreciated. (This probably shouldn’t matter but even more random that it was a single guy friend).

      Of course, there are many reasons this won’t be welcome for everyone but just to share.

      1. +1. Unless they have an extremely tiny kitchen and/or move a lot, this would be a wonderful gift.

    6. This is very much “know your recipient,” but somebody got us a sign that said “Chateau Our Names, est. 2016,” and it just fits above the doorway in the kitchen and I love it very much. Also somebody* got us a very elaborate etched cutting board with our names and a bicycle motif, and I like that a lot and have it on display although it’s too fancy to actually use. If you go to etsy and search for “personalized cutting board” and “bicycle” or whatever key word is appropriate, you will find lots of options.

    7. Cash is king when there’s no registry, perhaps with a bottle of Champagne or something else that’s celebratory if they drink? With the caveat that I am *supremely* picky, I loved the gifts my husband and I painstakingly researched for our registry, and very much appreciated (but almost always didn’t like and/or need) the gifts that were off-registry. Those pretty much all ended up being donated.

    8. If you’ve never been to their house or paid attention to their kitchen, please don’t send those kinds of items. We are in a similar situation to your friends (cancelled big wedding; received a few gifts), and a friend sent us a kitchen item. We already have so many kitchen things (I love to cook and bake), and this item was a repeat and wasn’t high end or otherwise special, so it’s just an extra thing to store or donate. We’re very appreciative of the gifts we’ve received, but I would go with cash, a gift card to a takeout place they like, or a consumable you know they like.

  14. I want to buy a Harry Potter boxed set for my best friend’s baby, which is due later this year. Are there any special collection sets that anyone can recommend? My own set is paperback from Scholastic and I’m actually not happy with the quality – the ink is smudged in a few places.

    1. I wonder if this is a better gift for an older child? It’ll be so long before they can read it together. If you want Harry Potter though, I’d do the illustrated first volume, I read all sorts of random things aloud when I was up in the middle of the night with my son and this would have been a fun one.

      1. I thought of that, but I’ve heard a bunch of parents have had fun reading it to babies so the parents can benefit too! That’s my idea here.

        1. Oof. Those are better parents than I. I could barely manage Sandra Boynton books for the first couple of years.

          2. Yeah, my baby likes to turn the pages and murders any non-board book. There is no keeping this kid still while reading to him. Baby is also not content to sit on my lap and chill – maybe the first month but after that it was game over. It would definitely go on our shelf for 8 years or so. :)

          3. I’m the one who reads Narnia to her baby. He doesn’t squirm; he sits in our laps, smiling and beaming like he’s on a TV commercial.

            This is not a result of my parenting, trust me. This is a result of having won the baby lottery and, counterintuitively, is why we are not having another. If this were a result of parenting, not only would we have more kids, we would write a book about it and retire off the profits.

      2. Seconding the illustrated versions! They’ll be great to read to the kid later and while all 7 aren’t out yet, you can give the rest as birthday presents later in the kid’s life.

      3. We read to our six-month old baby every night; he’s currently working his way through Narnia. At this age, we read books that we enjoy because for him, it’s just about hearing the words and spending time with Mom and Dad.

        1. Yes, I remember when I had my first realizing that books with tons of words are what you really need for itty bitty babies. You’re supposed to read to them, but they just sit there like blobs and don’t interact. So reading, say, a 5 page picture book to a 4 month old takes like 2 seconds and then it’s like, okay, now what? Hours and hours left to entertain this baby that barely moves….

          1. (I mean, not that a baby needs entertaining all the time and can entertain themselves staring at a mobile, but you know what I mean).

          2. I was that mom reading articles from Vanity Fair out loud to my small baby. Baby books did not have enough words. We also worked our way through several novels.

          3. Hah, Never Too Many Shoes, this is what I plan to do :-) Baby can enjoy me reading what I want to read the first few months.

    2. The hardcover illustrated books are lovely, although only the first couple have been published. Perhaps by the age the child would be interested, more of them will have come out.

    3. I second the recommendation for the illustrated versions – those are beautiful. They are more pricey, so you could gift one at birth and another one each year on the child’s birthday. By the time the kid is old enough to read them, they’ll have the full set.

    5. A baby won’t be ready for those for ages. Plus do you want to support JK Rowling right now? What about Goodnight Moon, The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar, Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site, Mother Goose, or countless others?

  15. I know it’s a little silly, but I wanted to update the hive. I posted back in December because I was excited about a first date (I hadn’t been excited about many first dates since my divorce). We just got engaged! After getting ending a 10+ year marriage in my mid-30s, I didn’t think I would ever find this kind of head-over-heels love again.

    7. Thank you for sharing this! As a 33 year old currently going through a hard separation, this is really encouraging to hear.

  16. Do any of you get completely wiped out – just bone-tired exhausted – and need an entire day to sleep once every 4-6 weeks or so? (I’ve checked and it’s not related to my cycle.)

    My mom and my aunt have done this my entire life – just those days when they’re absolutely exhausted and can’t manage to change out of PJs or cook a meal or do anything other than lay in bed/on the couch. Now in my late 30s, I’m finding it happens to me, too. I always (silently) chided my mom and my aunt for being lazy, but now that it’s happening to me, too, and I’m wondering if it’s something more about how we’re wired. We’re all healthy – normal bloodwork and such, though we’ve never gone to a doctor about this. My husband – who I really do think is part Energizer Bunny – is utterly baffled by this need and pops out of bed at 5 am like he’s a rooster.

    1. Absolutely, but I don’t actually get to take that day. I think it’s because I am running flat-out all the time and never get a break. Re. the husband thing, my husband thinks he is as busy as I am, but he gets plenty of downtime whereas I do not. For instance, on Saturday morning he sat on the couch and read a novel for hours while doing the laundry. During the same time period, my Apple watch said I walked 3 miles just cleaning and doing meal prep. Of course he has the energy to pop out of bed at 5:00 a.m.

        1. I have never met a man who worked as hard as his wife, or who would admit that she worked harder.

    2. In normal times, I’m doing something after work 4-5 nights a week and have very busy weekends and an at times super intense job. I try to block off one night a month (Ideally a weekend!) to do nothing.

      I’m a big extrovert, so I have social plans most days a week, and my hobbies are all athletic which can be tiring. I definitely need a day where I lie on the couch, do nothing, and recharge.

      I know my mom has a few friends who do this too. One is a night shift nurse who runs several 10ks and half marathons a year. After her last night of work for the week she’ll often go do things for the entire day (like drive to the shore, spend the day on the beach and then go out for dinner without napping).

    3. I don’t sleep, but I need a day in bed or a British ‘duvet day’ every month or so. I always feel better afterwards, it’s hard to make time for with a toddler but if I don’t take it, I end up really ill. I read books and rejoin the world around 2pm.

    4. Any chance you (or they) have silent migraines? I’ve had migraines my whole life, and seem to have more of the ‘silent’ ones as I get older (you get aura, nausea, vertigo, fatigue, etc. but no pain). Migraine exhaustion is indeed full body, and sometimes it feels like a mild flu. For me they are very closely linked to my cycle, stress, and atmospheric pressure (ie – when you have those random days when the temperature drops or spikes 20 degrees overnight and a storm rolls in).

      1. I get these too, especially when there is a storm trying to break through. The pressure relieves when it finally rains. Just thinking about it I’m giving myself a cloudy head. Ugh.

      2. Wait that’s what they’re called? I’ve definelt gotten migraines without the headache but didn’t actually know it was a thing

    6. In the Before Times, I would sleep 10-11 hours each weekend night. Some of us just need more sleep than normal life allows, but the pattern in your case is unusual.

    7. I spend a weekend day in bed many weeks, but it is usually after a late night involving drinking and just because I can since I am single no kids and thus no obligations. It is rare that it is due to deep exhaustion.

    8. I don’t have the exact same thing, but I basically have to take at a 2 hour nap at least one day of the weekend, and preferably both weekend days. I sleep 8 hours daily otherwise, so probably not sleep debt. It’s also just part of how my body works at my current age.

    9. My friend who was always tired every day ended up getting diagnosed with a sleep disorder.

    10. I do something similar where a few times a year I get exhausted like that and if I try to power through, I wake up at 3:00 am vomiting for the next 7 hours. Take the day off and sleep all day, and I’m usually fine by late afternoon. I’ve had this pattern for…the last 25 years? I’ve done vague googling but never been able to figure out what it is or what triggers it. The silent migraine theory someone mentioned is interesting – I’ve never heard of that before.

  17. Boston butts were on sale and I got one that was almost 8 pounds (but it was $10!). My math is that that will be 16 hours to cook (so could do 8 in a slow oven today and let DH finish it on the charcoal grill with wood chips tomorrow). Or cut into two pieces. I am used to doing this in an oven in the winter but have outdoors and a charcoal grill now (OTOH, it is the SEUS so it may also rain some; maybe this doesn’t matter unless it is storming). It is percolating with its seasonsings now and even getting it up to room temp will take a while (as will heating the grill) so I have Time To Ponder And Ask Friendly Internet Strangers.

    noted: if I WFH, I should be doing stuff like this b/c when ever in my life will I be able to other than retirement

    1. Great score! How quickly will you eat 8 lbs of pork? Unless you are sharing, I would cook half now & half in a week or two.

    2. if it matters, meat absorbs more smoke flavour in the early stages of cooking, so if you’re going for a BBQ effect, you’re better off starting it on charcoal and finishing it in the oven rather than the other way around…

    3. I also scored this last weekend!! I ended up cutting 8lbs into 4 pieces. The small one took 3 hours at 225 and the one with the bone was like 7. The nice thing was We could have some the same day and there was more delicious crust.

  18. I am brand new to the dating app scene, and I’m finding it so strange and difficult to navigate. I am not sure how picky I should be, or if I should try to keep an open mind and give men a chance even if I’m not feeling an immediate spark of interest. And to be totally honest, I’m not sure I’m even capable of feeling a spark towards someone based on just a few photos and some profile info, so if I’m waiting for that I might never connect with anyone. All my past serious relationships have been with people that I knew for awhile before we got together, so I don’t have a good sense of how interested I “should” feel towards a near stranger.

    Also, how long do people usually talk and get to know one another before an in-person meeting? Obviously, the situation right now is weird in terms of meeting people, but I’d probably be okay with drinks on a patio or a walk in the park with someone new if the conditions were right. Is it sufficient that someone seems reasonably nice and not weird based on texting, etc., prior to meeting up with them, or do people usually wait for some kind of deeper connection before taking that step?

    I realize there no one right way to do this, but any thoughts on rules or best practices people have come up with would be very much appreciated. I am feeling overwhelmed and need some sense of being in control!!

    1. There was a thread on this yesterday you might check out re: how much interest you “should” feel. We also had one a few weeks ago.

    2. There was just a post about this yesterday. My pre-COVID recommendation would be to get to an in-person meeting as soon as possible, but obviously things have changed. Now I’d say get to a video date ASAP so you can get a vibe for the other person in a safe way.

    3. I agree – I move to whatever in-person means right now asap. I hate texting / messaging forever and thinking I click with someone virtually only for the date to be a total bust. I would get to socially distant date walk or Zoom/FaceTime date with someone I was interested in asap. I can tell almost immediately based on the initial messages whether I want to meet up with someone, so I do not wait for any type of deeper connection (which is hard and/or misleading on text/messenger IMO). If I don’t feel it when initially messaging, I unmatch and move on.

      I would say I am moderately superficial when I swipe. There are certain things that are total dealbreakers for me – some rational, some not. You get to decide what those are and immediately reject profiles that contain them. I also am not afraid to reach out first if someone looks interesting.

    4. You’re probably not going to feel a spark looking at profiles, so it’s important to meet in person. I would exchange a few messages to make sure the person met my criteria (attractive to me, capable adult, seemed like someone I could carry on a conversation with, not a sociopath) and meet up! Don’t get caught up in messaging back and forth forever – people are totally different in person vs on paper (or on screen, I guess).

  19. Another interior design question – I just moved into a new house and I want to move my furnishings and decor away from MCM and more towards modern traditional/transitional (whatever that means), but I’m having trouble finding inspiration because nearly everything I see in blogs, Pinterest, etc is Farmhouse or variations thereof. Besides Ballard as someone mentioned above, what other companies, blogs, sources etc can I look to for inspiration? I’m looking for comfortable, cozy, sturdy, and more on the timeless side of things. Are there key words I’m missing?

    As an aside, I can’t tell if my style is changing because of the new house or because 2020 has me so freaked I’m craving the 90s in more ways than one (Baby-Sitters Club, anyone?).

    1. I don’t understand MCM vs other styles very well, but I sympathize with your struggle to find pictures that don’t follow the current ubiquitous template. Sometimes I’ve had luck searching for a particular color scheme, because that filters out the stuff that is all decorated in neutrals. I also use the words “maximalist” and “eclectic” , or sometimes “British” to find what I would consider coziness, but it is a particular style of cozy that you might not like.

      As an aside, I just moved into a house that is still 100% committed to the loudest early 90s styles– maroon, navy, and many colors of green; deep pile carpets and elaborate curtains; and so so many florals! I don’t want to live with it forever, but I like it more than I would most eras.

    2. I actually find Architectural Digest and more regional magazines like Southern Living to be great at finding a wider array of styles besides the ubiquitous MCM stuff. Apartment Therapy site does have a lot of this style, but I enjoy some of the featured homes that have clearly mixed old and new in a cool way.

    3. Veranda is sort of transitional, you might take look at them. I also look at Architectural Digest to find designers I like and then buy their books. I also Pin images I like, they can be really helpful when I have budget. I usually swap out one interior thing a year and then reshuffle everything.

    5. I’d go to a site like wayfair or houzz and look at the words/labels used for filtering styles when you’re searching for photos or products. That will give you a feel for the kinds of words people use to describe different styles.

  20. Here’s another home decor question: how much privacy do you get from light-filtering shades? Could you change your clothes with them, for instance, if it’s light inside and dark outside?

    1. Depends on what you need for privacy. It will show your body outline as long as light can get through.

    2. During daytime (light both outside and inside) it wont show even an outline. During nighttime (light inside, dark outside) it will show the body outline as a shadow, may be slightly distorted depending on the interior light position etc.

  21. Thanks to the long weekend and coronavirus, I am almost all caught up on my tabloid news. Including Jessica Mulrooney. I have one Q though — do Canadians generally wear that much makeup? I’m too used to the casual racism and mean-girl tactics of rich/powerful people who regularly operate that way, sadly, but the contouring and shininess was startling. I always thought that a Canadian look was woodsy and almost preppy with no visible colored makeup. Obvs there are big cities in Canada and it’s not all a Pendleton calendar shoot of clothes, but I live in the SEUS not far from Tammy Faye’s original stomping grounds and have not seen that much product in a while.

    1. Literally what? Obviously no. Would you judge all Americans by Kim kardashian? This post is weird.

    2. What? Yes, Canadians wear make up, just not as much as she does because she’s a TV personality. Canada has several international cities with populations over a million, some of the best universities in the world, and other incredibly ‘developed’ things, infact Canada is consider more developed than the US in virtually every marker there is from healthcare to social equality.

    3. WTF? This may come as a surprise but there are over 30 million Canadians and we don’t all live in the woods

    5. I have no idea who this person is so I looked her up and I’m so confused. She doesn’t wear a lot of makeup. Regardless, the makeup world in Canada is pretty much the same as the makeup world in the US.

    6. My view of Canada is largely hockey-centric and more recently, the original Love it or List It (small old expensive houses with good neighborhoods and shockingly high prices) and Ice Road Truckers. I think if you have a problem, a Canadian should be able to assist !

      And then I went there and straight-away, ran into a Tim Hortons.

      I know on this board people want to be “Canadians have big cities and are more sophisticated” but we kind of love you big and rugged too.

    3. I sincerely hope she tries to ‘save herself’ and handover ever iota of information and video she has. That would be incredibly satisfying to watch them all go down.

    4. I’m honestly curious why people think this is a real risk. Do you actually think she’s going to commit suicide or do you genuinely buy into conspiracy theories about it?

      1. It is the only conspiracy theory that is even remotely believable to me. There’s more than meets the eye here.

        2. It’s also very easy to dismiss something as a conspiracy theory when it’s actually revealing deep corruption. Dictators around the world love if investigative journalism gets dismissed as crazytalk.

        3. +1 there are so many wealthy and powerful people implicated (and those are just the ones we know about!) and the Whole situation with epstein was so fishy.

      2. I believe the conspiracy theories about it, starting with Epstein didn’t kill himself.

        The more you look into it, the more suspicious it all is imo, and there’s pretty much nothing that disputes that the conspiracy is inaccurate. Absolutely crazy!

        1. My favorite joke I heard at that time was – “If you were surprised to hear that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide, just imagine how surprised he was!” I am very non-conspiracy theory either, but this one I can believe.

          1. Heh.

            It’s amazing how few people actually think he committed suicide. Left, right, old, young – everyone thinks he was offed.

    5. She will be killed, she has dirt on too many wealthy powerful men. How they go about explaining that murder, I don’t know but I’m thinking COVID, maybe even an inmate stabbing? As for the date I think the 20th.

  23. Apologies if this has been asked before, but what are the best light-weight masks you’ve found? I bought a few from Etsy, and they’re really thick and make me sweat a lot. Looking for a thinner, cooler (temp-wise) one. Thanks!

    1. Piggybacking on this, can anyone recommend a mask that is cut lower under the eyes? I keep struggling with mine going up too high and getting into my eyes.

    2. Stark’s Vacuums makes some that are so comfortable, even for long walks in the heat.

    3. I just got a set from Athleta that are much lighter than either the homemade quilting cotton or commerical jersey cotton ones that I had previously. There’s a line between ‘super light weight’ and ‘not actually preventing the spread of covid’ that is tricky, but these seem reasonable.

    4. Athleta’s (the 5-pack-haven’t tried the 3-pack w/ mesh interior.) They’re very lightweight with a nose wire and adjustable ear pieces. Also like Banana Republic’s. Old Navy (no nose wire) and Gap (nose wire) are fine after shrunk bu washing and drying but not as good.

    5. Ooo! I have new rec for this! I bought some Onzie masks (available via Zappos as well as their site). Have never bought anything from the brand and they are great! Super soft, breathable and sweat wicking yoga wear fabric. Ear loops made with tubes of the same fabric so also soft. I struggled to go outside for longer than 5 minutes previously because I would be dripping in sweat under the mask, and I was just vaguely damp with these after a 30 minute walk.

    6. I really like masks i’ve bought at a Cape Cod MA store called Tuff Kookooshka. Fun patterns and really comfortable and light weight. My daughter like them too. Highly recommend.

  24. Anyone have wireless earbuds they recommend? My wired headphones from Apple are always breaking in less than a year, so thought I’d switch. I’ve been reading reviews and ordered a pair, but the sound quality was much worse. Are AirPods really worth it? I’d prefer not to spend that much, but wondering if I need to up my budget. Have people had the same pair for at least a couple years?

    1. I’ve only had my Airpods since Christmas but I love them and think I could not get by without them. If I lost one or both of them or they stopped working, I would replace them in an instant.

    2. The AirPods Pros have been worth it for me, but I got a good deal through a promotion my credit card was having and also used points. I don’t know that I would pay full price since I’m not a huge sound aficionado.

      1. The comfort of the AirPod Pros as compared to other Apple products – totally worth it. The two settings for noise canceling or some transparency – great for conference calls to ensure you’re not shouting. The Bluetooth connection never goes haywire. 100% worth the money.

      2. My AirPod Pros have been the real MVP during WFH. We spend hours together each day.

      3. My Air Pod pros and I spend 5+ hours together on conference calls. They’re the mvp while working from home.

    4. I love Airpods, I have both first gen and 2nd gen and I think I actually like 1st gen better. I’m not an Apple stan but all other bluetooth headphones are trash compared to airpods IMO. They just fit my ear so YMMV.

    5. My 25-year-old has been using some from Anker that were only about $50 and is very happy with them.

  25. There were a few threads a couple weeks ago on being in relationships where you have different incomes and how you split expenses. My partner and I have started doing the $5,000 52 week challenge you can find online (I think we printed it off a money blog?) where we contribute a different amount every week and in the end will have $5,000 from each of us, $10,000 total. We created a joint banking account for it and each have separate access to it. You could do any amount you both agree to, doesn’t have to be $5,000.

    We each contribute proportionally to our daily living expenses based on our incomes, but this side account is our fun money. It’s helped us budget for trips and activities and avoid money tensions since we have different incomes but also different approaches to financial management. I feel less pressure to contribute more to all our activities and the unnecessary but nice finer things, which we both enjoy, since I make more money but wouldn’t spend as much by myself/with my friends as we do together. He’s actually become more of a stickler, reminding me about the contributions when I forget, and also started changing how he manages money in general. It’s been a win win so far and become a fun game – we’re about half way there already!

  26. Bumble Grumble of the day – when guys use their “24 hour extender” on you but then don’t respond to your message. Why are you even here?!

    1. I think that feature is so dumb. If you really are interested, you’ll respond within the 24 hrs. The end. No need for interest-signalling with an extender feature, doubly so if you don’t even respond. UGHHHH. When I was on Bumble constantly, I always thought super like and extender were dumb money grab by the app to get guys to pay.

  27. Well, I’m being told I have to go back to the office at the end of the month because the higher ups think it will be better for “interpersonal relationships” and “team building” and “morale” if we’re back in the office.

    Exactly how is my morale improved by unnecessarily exposing me to a disease when I’ve been doing my job just fine at home for the last four months?

    I’m gonna need more masks.

      1. +1, the best idea I’ve seen here is to ask your manager how you would be protected assuming someone is presymptomatic and at their most infectious…

    2. My office did that too. Until employees started testing positive and they realized how much of a hassle it was going to be for business operations. It boggles the mind that we had to go through this little exercise for them to decide it was a stupid idea. Now we’re all back at home for the foreseeable future.

      1. Yup. Exactly what happened to me. 2 weeks back, with a surge in the community and a constant trickle of cases in the building. It just so happened that at exactly the same time, I called my boss to say I’d been exposed (elsewhere) and got an email from the CEO instituting WFH for the rest of the year.

    3. My boss wants us to come back “so we can all be friends.” Um, I’m not your friend. We’re coworkers.

    4. I’m sorry your higher ups are so stupid. We just got notice that we will be WFH until sometime into September. There are some departments in the company that have to install equipment at customer sites, but they have to be masked, social distance, etc.

      I asked about going into the building to get some supplies from my desk and I’m required to wear a mask at all times in the building.

    5. My good friend went back this week. She lasted a half day. Her coworkers were sharing pictures of them partying over the weekend and she noped right out. Luckily, her boss was supportive of that decision when he realized there was no way to protect those that were properly socially distancing from those that weren’t.

  28. we put plantation shutters in to our new home. It is obscenely expensive and we have a lot of windows (we used cellular shades in the bedrooms and upstairs where not front-facing) but they are absolutely fantastic and I highly recommend. You can do parts of the house at a time, too, to spread out the cost.

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