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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 178 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Giraffe Print Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Escada Giraffe Print DressI always think of giraffe prints as being much tighter than this — so I love the abstract, ultra-closeup view on this chic Escada dress. I'd wear it with black (as styled here) and maybe also pastels, like a pale pink blazer or a cornflower blue cardigan. It's (gulp) $995 at Bloomingdale's. Escada Giraffe Print Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love Pricey Monday’s and this Girafe dress is a a great choice, Kat, but I can’t go to Bloomie’s b/c I scraped my shoe on their carpet’s! Also since I am useing Dad’s I-MAC, I do Not want to let him think I am a spendethrieft! FOOEY b/c it realy is nice!

    I stayed over today, and Myrna took the day off b/c she want’s to celeabrate with us tonite. Rosa is coming down with the Kid’s today and Ed should be takeing the train directley from Brooklyn. He should go to Penn Station but Dad says Wall Street is easier to Brooklyn for him. FOOEY b/c I am not crazey about Brooklyn. David is from Brooklyn and he is alway’s trying to get his hand’s where they do NOT belong. I know dad want’s me to consider him, but why does he have to grab at my body when ever we are alone? FOOEY! I do NOT grab at his body! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    The IRS Guy is in town and he want’s me to come to DC next weekend. I told him I have 600 hour’s to do to pay his bill so I can NOT go. At least I have a reason — he should have tried to get them to reduce the bill the manageing partner says and I think he is right. I was doieng every thing I could, but it was NOT enough, the manageing partner said. I do NOT think there was ANYTHING I could do to distract them from $65K we owe’d them. FOOEY!

    Rosa told Mom that Ed has been spendeing to much time at work and that leave’s her to take care of the kid’s with only the housekeeper. She want’s Ed to play a bigger role in the kid’s live’s but she understands that Ed has to work on big project’s for his bank. She say’s he want’s to be considered for manageing diretor, which is a lot like manageing partner in our firm.

    The manageing partner says he know’s a guy who can show us space on First Avenue between around 31st Street, which is cheap. He asked that I go with him this week to have a look. YAY! Because I will have a window, tho it is onley on the 4th floor, which is not to high, but at least above street level where you can see peeople peeing in the alley, like here. FOOEY!

    Mom is makeing matza ball soup and I already tried it, but dad chased me out of the kitchen yesterday and told me to walk 5 miles b/c of my tuchus. He said why can’t my tuchus be like Myrna’s tuchus? He said it 4 times in honor of Passover, so Myrna and I walked, and it was great! YAY!

  2. Male VPL

    Initial reaction: I like!

    And then: it reminds me of the digestive tract. Can you see the stomach and the entrance / exit? Now I can’t unsee it.

    • Brit

      Oh God. That is unfortunate. Because I can’t unsee it now either…that white at the bottom is just so unfortunately placed for that…

    • Anonylicious

      Well, I *was* about to say that there was finally an animal print I like, but now I can’t unsee that. Thanks.

    • Bonnie

      I normally like the picks on Mondays but this one looks to me like a Star Trek uniform.

  3. Q re OMG and MZ Wallace

    From last week, it seems that an issue with the OMG is if you put a laptop in it, it causes the bag to pull or be unbalanced since the laptop pocket isn’t centered. I’d think that is also an issue with any MZ Wallace bag with a laptop pocket (Belle, Jane). Can someone confirm? Also, any minuses on MZ Wallace (too big if not used for serious shlepping, hard to use as a purse b/c too big)?

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      I have the MZ Wallace “Kate” – it’s pretty large, so I guess the downside would be that it’s not “purse”-sized, but I really, really love the bag overall. Also, the interior compartment on the Kate is just one big compartment, so I’ve had no issues with balance when carrying my laptop. I think there’s a bag that’s one size down from the Kate that’s set up the same way – the Bedford, maybe? – that might be best-of-both-worlds for you.

      • Q re OMG and MZ Wallace

        So if you carry your laptop in an MZ Wallace, is the body padded enough? Or do you use one of those padded laptop sleeves? I’d worry about mine rattling around. I know that the OG/OMG ones are built so that there’s a padded sleeve within the bag.

        If we could roll Downton Abbey forward in time, I’d love to have this all be my valet’s problem.

        • Cb

          Could you get a thin sleeve? I’m too paranoid about spilling something in my bag to throw my laptop in there completely uncovered,

        • Killer Kitten Heels

          I carry it without a sleeve, but the Kate would easily fit a sleeve if you felt safer that way.

      • Bought based on KKH's rec

        It’s the Jane that’s one size down. It’s a bit bigger than a purse but not ridiculous looking like the OMG. I’ve had no problems with balance and I stuff it – some days it’s a laptop, iPad, kindle, shoes, scarf, work docs, makeup, plus the contents of my purse.

    • anne-on

      Why not look into the Brookline by Lo& Sons? That’s what I use for my laptop case and its perfect for a work everyday work bag. The OG and the OMG were both too large for me.

      • Bought based on KKH's rec

        I mean ridiculous looking on me. I’m way too short and small framed to carry the omg without looking like a kid playing dress up!

    • ContractsinTX

      I love my OMG, but I hate that my laptop knocks it over. If I would have known it did that in the beginning, I would have purchased the TT or went with a different brand.

    • A

      I just saw someone with the OMG this weekend and it looked great!! (don’t know if she had her laptop in it) She’s approx 5’3″-5’4″ and an otherwise petite asian and it did not look like luggage the way the OG does.

      • Anonymous

        What did the wearer’s race have to do with her size? Would you have used the phrase an “otherwise petite caucasian”?

  4. Polished Pinstripes

    I’m not seeing this as giraffe print or a digestive tract. My first thought was that a piece of abstract art had been printed on the dress. None of the above options are very attractive and I don’t think this dress will be finding a home in my closet.

  6. Everlane Update

    For anyone who’s interested from the everlane conversation last week. I received my white V-neck t-shirt in the mail. I really like it a lot. I found it to be true to size. But I think that the other t-shirt styles are cut differently than the V-neck and maybe others who thought they ran large bought a different style. The white’s still a little see through for me- I’m realizing I’m a huge prude- but will be fine with a cami underneath. I think that any other color you wouldn’t need anything underneath. It’s soft & I’m happy to replace my Jcrew t-shirts from last spring/summer. The Jcrew t-shirts held up terribly and have holes in the neck and at the bottom & completely lost their shape. So this seems like a better made and cheaper alternative.

    • TO Lawyer

      Thanks for updating. I might try the v-neck tshirts – I really need decent tshirts and I suppose for $15, if they don’t fit, it’s not a huge loss.

    • Anonylicious

      I love Everlane’s t-shirts. I’ve been wearing them for about two years and I don’t buy t-shirts anywhere else anymore. The v-neck is definitely the best cut, though.

      They even hold up to abuse pretty well; my last job involved a lot of travel, so I used a bunch of hotel laundry machines, which are pretty universally terrible and rough on clothes. But my Everlane t-shirts survived.

    • MJ

      Query – if your JCrew tees held up that badly, would you return? Mine have done really badly of late (hems coming out, etc.)…I am on the fence whether to try to return. JCrew is not Nordy’s–I am scared about their sneering reaction if I try to return them there. Has anyone had any luck returning worn, but bad quality, JCrew stuff?

      • San Diego

        I’ve returned shirts to them after the holes developed. It’s a known problem. Honestly, they can sneer all they want. I have basically stopped shopping there for a lot basics like t shirts. If they provide less than helpful service, I call Amex and they do a charge back. I don’t do this regularly but do tend to only shop at stores with customer service on par with Nordstrom.

      • Everlane Update

        I think returning my t-shirts probably just isn’t worth the hassle. But I agree with San Diego, I’m not shopping there anymore for basics.

      • Wildkitten

        My Jcrew sweaters keep getting holes. I wish I had the cajones to return them.

      • A Nonny Moose

        Yep a couple times. I returned jeans twice because they got a hole in the cr0tch, and returned a bubble necklace that had a “jewel” pop out. I got full price back for the necklace. For the jeans I got the lowest price they had sold at. This was annoying because I spent over $100 on them and the lowest sold was $30 or so but better than nothing.

      • tesyaa

        I haven’t ordered from J Crew in years, but even when I was heavily into their stuff (like 10 years ago) I found the knit tops and sweaters held up terribly – holes, pilling etc. I never had any problem like this with their woven tops and skirts. I can’t believe that their knits are still as shoddy as ever, and that they keep selling.

      • Anonattorney

        I always have really good service with JCrew. I shop there regularly and tippie sweaters and No. 2 pencil skirts have become my work uniform. At this point I basically have a personal shopper at the JCrew closest to me who recognizes me when I go in the store, knows my size, sends me emails when the store has special sales, etc. I’ve returned a couple worn-once things because the size ended up being wrong, and it’s been fine.

    • DontBlameTheKids

      How long is the shirt? I’ve seen varying reports on this. I have a long torso, and I HATE worrying about whether my shirt is covering my waistband. Does it hit mid hip? Higher? Lower?

      • Everlane Update

        I’m thinking back to when I put it on. I’m pretty sure it hit mid hip on me. At least it wasn’t long or short enough on me that that length issue crossed my mind. I’m 5’7″ with a small bust and an average torso length for my height. I’m usually a 4/6 and the small worked great. Hope this helps a little!

  8. Anon For This

    Long distance relationship TJ-

    The boyfriend and I have been together for over three years, with about half of that (including now) being long distance. I have always known he is The One, we have rings and baby names picked out, have had all the “right” discussions about finances and children and debt and all the things, he loves me, and is the greatest partner I could ever hope for.

    But every couple of months, usually close to (law school) finals time when our visits aren’t as frequent, I get pretty intense crushes, for lack of a better word, on some of the men I’m around pretty constantly. There’s never really a specific guy I’m interested for long, it’s more like all. the. men. are appealing. This weekend it popped up again. Nothing has ever “happened,” but I recognize that these are things that I would not be happy with my boyfriend if he did them/they happened to him (I phrase it this way because I once had a guy friend try to kiss me out of nowhere, not to suggest the “Oh, I slipped and fell” excuse is viable). I’ve also never felt these things when we aren’t long distancing it.

    When this came up once before I told him about it honestly and he was understanding and supportive, but I think bringing it up again to make myself feel less guilty just isn’t fair to him. Sigh. Any advice or commiseration? I feel like a wretched, horrible person.

    • Anonymous

      So . . . You’re straight? That’s the problem? And sometimes when you’re stressed and not getting any your attraction to men rears it’s ugly head?

      Girl this is not a problem. You aren’t cheating, you aren’t emotionally attached, this is just not an issue.

      • Diana Barry

        +2, no issue. I wouldn’t bother telling him about it. If it gets to the point where you are acting on it, that would be a problem.

        • AIMS

          Co-sign. And definitely no telling. Happy relationships are happy because the people in them don’t share every single waking thought they have.

    • Bonnie

      So you get horny and look at other guys because your BF is not around? There is nothing wrong with that so long as you don’t act. Just because you have a wonderful SO, doesn’t mean that you can’t appreciate what else you see.

    • Anonylicious

      It’s okay to look. Just don’t act on it! It’s like, just because you’ve chosen the best (for you) option on the menu doesn’t mean you can’t think the other entrées look yummy. But ordering them all would be gluttony and also you probably wouldn’t finish and then you’d just be wasting food and this metaphor has gotten away from me but why isn’t it lunchtime yet, y’all? I’m hungry.

      • Baconpancakes

        Dang, it’s only 10:30. I’m starving.

        But seriously, to the OP, just because you’re happily coupled doesn’t mean you’re dead! This is super not a big deal. You’re attracted to people. So, you’re human.

        • CKB

          This. I’ve had crushes during my almost 20 year marriage. And we’ve never been long distance for more than a month. I never told my dh, and I don’t really care to hear about his crushes on real people either (I’m sure he has them). I don’t mind hearing about his celebrity crushes, though. Oh, and we’re quite happily married, too. The crushes don’t even correspond with us going through tough times (as all marriages do).

          If you are alive, you will have crushes. Don’t act on them. Don’t beat yourself up over them. It’s a part of life. Doesn’t mean you love your boyfriend any less. Just means you are human.

        • Anon

          As my mom likes to say: “I’m married, not dead.” Looking is fine. Attraction is normal.

          • layered bob

            my mom says that too. I thought it was one of her “sayings” (she has many) but delighted to hear this is a common viewpoint.

        • Olivia Pope

          Agreed.

          And I ate Trader Joe’s beef tamales for breakfast because I was so hungry that cereal was not going to cut it.

      • January

        The other way I’ve heard this sentiment expressed is, “Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.” But I like your version better, because diet implies you’re restricting yourself.

        • mascot

          I’ve heard it expressed as “You’re married (or coupled), not dead or blind” Totally normal, just don’t act on it.

      • Anonylicious

        Update: I broke down and got potato chips, and crushing is still normal.

      • Lily student

        It’s dinner time here :) (also leech block means I can’t look at this site during the work day!)
        I’m about to do a fish parcel with white fish and Boursin, with potato wedges and baked beans. Yum!

    • anon

      I agree with the other commenters. I also think it’s mean and unnecessary to tell your guy about these feelings… in all honestly, if my bf told me about specific instances where he found another girl attractive/had a crush, it would be really hurtful and I think I’d find it hard to get past.

    • OP

      Haha, thank you to everyone for the responses- I needed the reminder that I’m human and the laughs. I’d told him previously because it felt very different having these feelings/thoughts without having him to come home to every night and I was freaked.

    • DontBlameTheKids

      Do not bring it up! Crushes are normal. I don’t believe in “the One,” because really, there are lots of “ones.” Otherwise your soul mate would be in China or India, statistically. Anyway. Guys look, girls look, but of course it hurts to think about and notice. So for heaven’s sake, let it go!

    • Joanna Toews

      I used to get really intense finals/exam time crushes ALL THE TIME, and god, did it torture me. I feel you, girl.

      Best advice I have for you: DO NOT GET DRUNK WITH YOUR CRUSHES. Staying sober was at times the only thing that kept me from making a huge mistake. Other than that… yeah, what everyone else said. You’re not a bad person, getting crushes is normal, etc.

    • Parfait

      Hm, I like those but I am not so sure about the Velcro closure. Does it bug you? I think I would rather have a real buckle.

    • Bonnie

      Not at all. There is an elastic built into the band so I don’t undo the velcro.

  10. (Former) Clueless Summer

    Vicarious shopping time! Anyone have suggestions on trench coats – the issue being I’d really like a mid-length coat(low hip/mid-thigh) in a non-wrinkling fabric. If anyone is familiar with the Club Monaco trenches, I love them because of the lovely fabric but they are knee-length. A belt is a must as well. Could be black or camel/almond coloured. If anyone has a particular trench, that would help a lot on recommendations!

      • AIMS

        Something is happening to my comments. Trying third time (apologies for potential repeats).
        Check out Uniqlo dot com, they have a great short trench in 4 colors. I am not posting a link because it seems to make my comment disappear (boo!).

    • Niktaw

      I have no suggestions other than looking at Nordstrom, but when I shopped for a trench this winter, I had the.hardest.time finding knee-length ones. All the cute ones were too short!

    • Brit

      bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=87049&vid=1&pid=556442002

      This one from Banana Republic comes in black or tan. When I clicked on the women’s tab, it had a notification for a 40% sale that ends tomorrow, but I don’t know if that applied to the coats too.

    • S in Chicago

      You didn’t specify price range, but I would make a pitch for Cole Haan if you can. Really well made and flattering. Sometimes you can get lucky with discounts on Bluefly, 6pm and Nordstrom RAck in store. (I own several styles that I’ve acquired through the years–two travel in different lengths and one anorak, but my favorite by far is still my basic trench.) All of them have held up wonderfully and look as great as the day purchased.

  11. Wildkitten

    Okay Ladies. Good Wife? Parenthood? What are our thoughts on the recent episodes?

    Did the TV script writers get together and decide since Joel was going to stop being such a jerk, they’d make Peter take over that responsibility this week?

    • NOLA

      Ack! Didn’t get a chance to watch Parenthood this week. I guess I need to go watch the episode online. Might have missed the last two?

    • LH

      I haven’t seen last night’s Good Wife yet. I was expecting a cryfest from the last Parenthood based on the previews but I barely teared up – I think they’re saving all the really emotional stuff for the finale (which is this week?) At this point I’m barely invested in Parenthood – I loved Joel and Julia for the first 4 seasons but Joel has been such an out-of-character jerk this season that I don’t care about that relationship anymore; I don’t care about Sarah and her rotating door of love interests; I don’t care about Drew and Natalie; Adam and Kristina’s school is too much like Kristina’s mayoral campaign…its just so blah.

      • Wildkitten

        That’s all true. I hate Natalie! The only relationship I like this season is Everybody Loves Raymond and Max.

      • SW

        I cried like a baby about Kristina’s friend and I love Hank and Max, but I don’t really care about any of the romantic relationships either.

      • Anonattorney

        Drew makes me want to scratch my eyes out. I like the actor, but his storyline is PAINFULLY AWFUL.

        I like Julie and the teacher. He’s cute. I also kind of like the satisfaction of seeing Joel figure out what he’s missing.

    • NbyNY

      Was it you WildKitten who prophesized that Alicia would dump Peter and that Fin would be the new love interest on Good Wife? After this last episode, I think you’re right. Should be interesting .

      • Wildkitten

        I had the Peter prediction but not the Finn one. I totally like Alicia with Finn but he mentioned having a wife – and he seems like too nice of a guy to have an affair. I don’t know how they are going to deal with that speed bump. I liked how his reaction to Alicia mourning Will was the exact opposite of Peter’s horrible reaction.

        • NbyNW

          I know Finn said “wife” but hoping he’s not still married. Not sure I would like that story line. Maybe they divorced after baby died. I also noticed his left hand was bandaged so ring status was unknown.

          • Anonattorney

            YES! That’s the same thing I thought – he said “wife,” but what he really meant was ex-wife/separated.

  12. LilyB

    I don’t watch Good Wife anymore, but Joel on Parenthood has been driving me CRAZY this season. I totally get why he would be upset, and I do think Julia was crossing a line with Ed, but as someone who draws a pretty hard line when it comes to cheating, I don’t think what she did merited him moving out at all. I’m kind of sad that she slept with the teacher right before Joel realized he missed being a family.

    • LH

      I totally agree. I think last week he sort of tried to explain that it wasn’t the “cheating” that caused him to move out – it was how poorly Julia handled his going to work and her staying home after years of the reverse. But a) this was too little too late, explained months after he moved out and b) why wouldn’t he want to go to counseling to work through that? the “cheating” was supposedly the reason he didn’t want to go to counseling. Joel has been so out of character this season, its driving me crazy.

      • Em

        I also feel like the show (and Joel, but it seems like the show is kind of supporting his viewpoint) is really pushing the idea that Julia is a failure because being a stay-at-home mom didn’t work for her. The truth is that’s a really hard job that not everyone is suited for. The fact that it did work for Joel for a long time doesn’t mean that Julia should have been totally happy to stay home “in return.”

  13. roses

    I majorly screwed up with work this weekend – I updated my iPhone software on Saturday, and in doing so forgot that I needed to re-enter my email log-in information to get my work email to update and receive new messages. I came in this morning to find 20-something unread messages about a motion we’re filing tomorrow. I of course immediately apologized to the senior associate I’m working with, who said not to worry about it, but I feel truly terrible that there were at least 3 messages asking me to do something, and I can’t help but feel that this reflects very poorly on me (I’m a second year associate). Is there anything else I should do to make up for this? Or tips for letting it go?

    • Q re OMG and MZ Wallace

      I’d say just let it go. The only time I cut someone from my “sending work to” list was someone who I knew to have a bberry on at all times, did not respond to e-mails re status reports, and when back in the office was pretty much annoyed that I had bothered to send e-mails (and follow-up on). So, no more work (this was when I was on travel, so needed someone in the office to mind things in my absence).

      You have a story and seem to have thought through avoiding this in the future. For the people sending you work, they probably handled another way when they didn’t hear back (so I doubt they dropped the ball). Bad habits over time and bad attitude are what is fatal for me.

    • LH

      Something similar has happened to me and just about everyone I know. It’s not great but it happens. You’ve apologized so just move on and do your best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Bringing it up again will do more harm than good. I agree that I would not stop giving work to someone becuase of a one time thing like this if they were otherwise good. (Somewhat related: this is why I panic whenever I go a few hours or so without a work email — I think the email is malfunctioning and I’m not getting messages. Sad but true.)

  14. Vicarious shopping help needed...

    …for liquid hand soap. I need to buy some for the bathrooms at my wedding, so something slightly high-end/spendy/luxurious is fine!

    Basically, I want a pretty label and not too flowery scent (ie, ok for men and women). If a peach or orange or beige color predominates, so much the better!

  15. military gf

    Can I just get some commiseration and maybe advice from you ladies this morning?

    My dog is going through a weird territorial (but not aggressive) phase regarding my bed and last week she peed all over it. Pillows, comforter, mattress soaked completely through. I’ve tried everything I’ve read (vinegar, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, febreeze, pet enzyme cleaner) but the mattress still stinks. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa for about a week and am so exhausted.

    The trouble is I’m really financially struggling at the moment, and while I have a plan to get my finances in order (and have an emergency fund for times like this!), I don’t think I can afford to spend even a few hundred dollars on a new mattress. I’m also moving in with my (mattress-owning) SO in August, so it seems like such a waste to make this purchase.

    What would you do? Suck it up and sleep on the couch for five months? Air mattress? Add to already horrifying credit card debt? Sigh…

    • Moon Moon

      Have you tried calling a professional upholstery/mattress cleaner in your area? Should be about $50.

    • Kathryn

      Could you try putting several plastic mattress protectors on top of each other… like 4-5? Just see if it makes a difference in the smell? I know this suggestion is kind of gross, as the mattress underneath is clearly not clean. But I would also have a really hard time spending a lot of money on a new one that I would only need for several months.

      Alternatively, Ikea sells cheap mattresses for about $100. They’re not comforatable, but you could buy an afforable memory foam topper (Target) to get you through the 5 months.

      Sorry that happened, that’s sounds incredibly frustrating.

    • mascot

      1) Vet check for the dog to rule out UTI/medical issue
      2) Will a fancy mattress cover (like you use for allergans) block the smell?
      3) Is the mattress small enough to drag outside and put in the sun?
      3) Get a waterproof mattress pad/cover for the future. Good for both pets and people.

    • Wildkitten

      I assume you’ve tried soaking it in Nature’s Miracle and flipping it over?

    • MJ

      Get a $200 aerobed from Costco. They’re fine to sleep on for a few months. Sorry this happened to you!

      • Olivia Pope

        I have no specific recommendations, but a high-quality air mattress is what I would do. A friend had a queen size air mattress that was incredibly comfortable and became the size of a full bed. And it will still be useful after you move in with your SO. Guests, trips, whatever!

      • Baconpancakes

        TJ: Does anyone have any additional specific recommendations for air mattresses (with electric pumps, please) that I won’t be ashamed to let guests sleep on regularly? Does the aerobed have any deflation problems? I’m wary of spending $200 on an air mattress, when so many of them deflate after a few uses.

          • Senior Attorney

            I have one from Costco (with electric pump) and I’ve had two guests give it rave reviews. Most recently I’ve had it inflated for several weeks and it seems to be holding the air fine. In fact, when I asked my Marine if we needed to get a bed for my guest area now that he will be staying over fairly regularly, he told me not to bother because the air bed was fine.

        • academama

          Bought the Aerobed one from Costco, returned it after it deflated on guests after only a few times of use, and the guy from Costco told me they don’t get a ton of returns but when they do, that’s why. We rebought the same kind from Costco and rest easy knowing return is not going to be a problem.

        • KLG

          We paid somewhere in the $75-100 range at Target for a queen double-high Coleman air mattress that plugs in to an outlet to inflate/deflate. It’s awesome and we use it all the time when we go to my parent’s house, family vacations, etc. It’s a little tough to use in my sister in law’s camper because it’s so high, but it’s great on the floor in a house. Obviously we don’t use it every night, but we do use it pretty frequently (and generally for a weekend or a week at a time) and we’ve had it for a year and a half or so with no problems.

          • Anonymous

            I have this one too, and it works great. I love that the pump mechanism is built into it rather than a separate device (which with past mattresses I always lent out and then lost track of).

    • L

      Honestly, what’s worked for me before has been Resolve (the pet stains kind). Spray until the mattress is wet, scrub and then blot with towels. Do this a few times (using new towels each time) and let it dry. If you can, flip it and do pee side and non pee side to try and get as much out of there as possible.

      also, if you really can’t take it, mission allergy sells vinyl covers that are relatively cheap (they can make your bed hot) but they seal everything in them, smells included.

    • Godzilla

      Can you reach out to any of your/his family members/friends for a mattress they were thinking of replacing? That way, you can get their mattress while they buy a new one. Obviously, it depends on your comfort level and relationship with people.

    • ContractsinTX

      I think it’s just an issue of styling. To keep it casual: loose and wavy hair or a messy pony; sandals; and simple accessories.

    • Baconpancakes

      It’s very sophisticated, but you could dress it down with casual sandals, a big sunhat, and very casual hair.

      I actually think normally maxi dresses trend too casual! This one is an exception, though. It’s very pretty!

    • Bonnie

      That’s very pretty but looks really low cut. Especially with a cami underneath, I think it would be fine for casual events.

  17. TAXES

    I am doing my own taxes for the first time this year. Should be pretty simple. For those that go this route, what do you do? I have heard of turbo tax but is that free? Software I have to buy? Can I just go online? Thanks!

    • Tax Chic

      If you just haveW-2 and 1099 income and not anything like a Schedule E, hrblock.com is online and not too expensive (can also do your state). Other commercial services are good for vanilla tax situations.

      • NOLA

        I just have two W-2s so I use hrblock.com. It’s pretty simple and walks you through all of the questions you need to answer.

    • Anonymous

      Like taxes for this year? On the last day? And you are asking what turbo tax is?

      • TAXES

        I am not asking what turbo tax is, I was asking if I had to go to Staples to get a CD-Rom of some kind or if I could just do it online. You sound like an utter pleasure to be around. Seriously. I bet people LOVE you and Kiwi above. National treasures, you both are.

        Yes. On the next to last day. Because I have a super simple return and it took me my lunch hour to do it. No thanks to you. Out of curiosity: would you have been more pleasant and responsive if I had been asking about next year’s taxes? Because that seems a much dumber question what with not having a W-2 for this year and all that….

    • Anonattorney

      You can just go to turbotax online. If you have to pay (and it will depend on how much you make), you just pay at the end when you pay your filing fee, or they deduct it from your refund. It’s very easy! They walk you through everything.

    • Philanthropy Girl

      I’m a big fan of Free Tax USA. Federal files free, state files cheap (think, $10-$25). It handles both W-9s and 1099s without an extra fee. We have pretty standard taxes – no fancy investments or that sort of thing – and it has worked really well for us.

      Be forewarned, the one (and only) time I waited until the last second to file, I got hate mail from the state because their servers were overloaded and didn’t accept my return and payment. I didn’t have issues with federal, but state servers don’t have the same capacity.

      Good luck!

  18. Paging Don't Blame The Kids

    Sorry for hardcore creeping on you – I read your furniture blog post and wanted to leave a comment but I hate giving out my email address.

    Annnyways – you were looking for an alternative for saving up for furniture and getting IKEA stuff you hate? Just wanted to throw this out there – craigslist & antique stores. Obviously there are some risks involved in getting furniture from a stranger’s home (I’m thinking primarily of bugs), but I got pretty lucky. I got all my (excellent condition) furniture from people moving or cleaning out rooms for new babies. Good luck!

  19. long-distance wedding

    I’m invited to a wedding on a Sunday in August in a remote location (a 4.5-hour drive from the nearest large airport and/or an 8+ hour travel day when you take into account the multiple flights to the remote airport).

    Flights are $600+. I’d have to stay for two nights because the travel time is so long, so that’s another $250-280 for hotel. All told, this weekend would cost me around $1,000.

    I adore the couple, but they are not my closest friends. Like, I’d definitely look them up if I were in their city, but I don’t catch up with either of them on a regular basis.

    I have the money, but I’m finding it hard to stomach spending close to $1,000 on just getting to this wedding.

    The couple lives in a major US city that I could easily get to, so I was thinking I bow out of the actual wedding and suggest meeting up the next time I’m in that city and taking them out to a really nice dinner or something…

    If you were me, would you go to the wedding?

    • Baconpancakes

      My rule of thumb for weddings is that if I wouldn’t find out about the engagement unless they posted it on facebook or sent an announcement, I probably shouldn’t go to their wedding.

      • LH

        I like the concept of this rule but my husband has found about 3 weddings in which he was a groomsman on facebook, and we found out about my first cousin’s wedding on facebook. I think its becoming increasingly common to skip telling people individually and just post a facebook announcement (which I think is terrible).

        • Rose

          I think this is interesting. Since Facebook became popular I never thought I would be one of those people announcing my engagement there. Now, when I’m probably getting engaged in the next month or so, I’m starting to change my mind. I would definitely call my close family and friends first, but then about a week or so later I might post something on Facebook. I think there are some people that would be invited that I wouldn’t necessarily call up.

          • LH

            Yeah – we told our immediate families (who told extended family) and people who would eventually be in our wedding party as well as some local friends who were invited but not in the wedding party. Then 3-4 days later we posted on facebook. Some long-distance invitees found out this way. I wouldn’t be hurt or offended if I found out on facebook (unless it was a very close friend) but I would definitely feel somewhat less of an obligation to go to the wedding if it were in a faraway place that was expensive to get to.

        • Baconpancakes

          This is a good point. I think to amend it – if it’s a surprise, (wait, they got engaged? when did that happen? I didn’t even know it was serious!) then that’s what counts as “finding out” on facebook. Confirmation of the proposal that you knew was going to happen might not be the same category.

    • LH

      I would probably not go to the wedding. I think your idea of taking them out to dinner next time you’re in their city is nice, but I would probably get a traditional wedding gift as well (although I would spend less than I would if I were going to the wedding).

      • long-distance wedding

        Oh, yeah, I agree. I should have specified that. The nice dinner would be in addition to sending a wedding gift.

    • Kathryn

      Nope. They knew (or should have known) when they decided to have a wedding in a super difficult location, that many people would not be able to come. I would just send a gift.

    • Clementine

      Would you regret it if you didn’t go? From your post, it doesn’t sound like it.

      If it were you, I would only go to this wedding if it was in my closest circle (define that how you will) or it was somehow an experience that I would regret missing. It doesn’t sound like it and I would probably send a gift (something in the $50-100 range) and a tasteful card suggesting we meet up post-wedding.

    • Cat

      I wouldn’t feel guilty about not attending. It’s an invitation, not a summons. The couple cannot reasonably be offended, especially so when it’s a tricky location.

    • Anon-athon

      Any chance we’re invited to the same wedding ? :) Basically, I’ve been trying to figure out the same thing. I’m good friends with the bride, but the trip would be very time-consuming and pricey. I do wonder to what extent they factored that into their planning.

      • long-distance wedding

        That would be funny (and also makes me a bit nervous, since I don’t want to out myself)!

        • Anon-athon

          Just realized that yours is in August — mine is in the fall, so no worries :)

    • mama of 2

      We got married in a medium-size, awkward-to-get-to city in Central California. When I invited people, I knew that many would not be able to attend because it’s a pain to get there. And I was totally okay with that! I hoped everyone would come, but understood that many would not. Unless you actually want to go to this wedding, I’d decline the invitation, send a great gift and a nice card, and call it a day.

  20. anon

    Last week I was passed up for a promotion in my office. There were multiple promotions given out, but they didn’t have enough for everyone. My bosses explained to me that even though I was more qualified than some who received promotions, they had seniority, which is what it came down to. I am so angry about this because I bust my butt daily here. My bosses also told me they understood if I wanted to leave the office because of this decision. I find that too be more than odd that they would say that. I have all these weird emotions that they are trying to push me out of the office and also anger at them. Prior to this, we have always had a great working relationship. I don’t know if I should try to look for another position or stay put until they will be able to promote me.

    • BB

      First reaction: If they said “we understand if you want to leave the office because of this,” they are politely saying ‘There’s no role for you here. You should look for something else.” This is not what you tell someone that you want to keep long-term.

      • Anonymous

        I agree with this. It’s my experience with family and friends in this situation that the promotion never comes. I would start looking for a place that will value your skills and not how molded your chair is to your butt from years of use.

      • hellskitchen

        I agree with this. For whatever reason, they don’t think you are a long term fit but your performance is still strong enough that they can’t come up with any valid reason to fire you. Withholding a promotion and saying they understand if you have to leave is probably the most direct sign you are going to get from them. I don’t even know if the seniority reason is built into the company’s policy – it may just be a good rationale for them to explain their decision to you. Regardless, dust off your resume and start looking for a job where your hard work will be better valued.

      • Meg Murry

        When I had a boss say something similar to me, it was also code for “there are policies here I don’t like and can’t change. I’m looking for new positions and you should as well.”

    • Olivia Pope

      I would start looking for another job. There may not be room for you to advance. Plus, I would not want to work on a place that advances people based on seniority.

    • MJ

      I would do just the minimum over the next few months to squeak out a good reference and then get the heck out of dodge. This is awful and disappointing news, but it’s a wake-up call.

      If you’re not that ambitious/don’t expect to be rewarded for your contributions, because someone who’s been there longer is allowed to contribute less than you and still be thought of more highly, stay.

      I echo what the commenter said about not wanting to work somewhere that seniority is the be-all end-all. I want a meritocracy. Why? Because I know my work shines. I have worked places where extreme emphasis is placed on seniority, and, in my experience, it leads to a lot of senior people with out-of-date skills relying upon higher-energy new hires who leave, often, because they figure out that they’re not going to get ahead due to the seniority. It creates a really toxic workplace. Definitely start looking.

      • anon

        Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I was pretty blindsided by all this because I know (and others know) that my work is superior to those who are promoted. Obviously my bosses know this as well. They even said they would give me recommendations if needed and they couldn’t think of a bad thing to say about me!

        It just really blows my mind. Why should I work hard if all I have to do is occupy a desk seat to move up the ladder? I also don’t really care to work with people who don’t value that type of work either.

        • Senior Attorney

          If they are talking about giving you recommendations, then for whatever reason they are telling you there is no future for you at this company. It all seems pretty crazy, but I think your only move is to start looking.

          So sorry this happened!!

    • LT IT

      Been there, done that. YES to looking for something else. This happened to me and I was not savvy enough the first go-round to take their hints that I wasn’t the type they wanted to promote. It took another 6-12 months and seeing another coworker promoted to a position I was imminently more qualified for to get me moving. Onward and upwards!

      • anon

        ugh, so sorry this happened to you too. such a crappy thing to do to someone. I think onward and upwards is the only way now!

  21. Anonymous

    Does anyone have experience using Match promo codes that are specified as for “new” users when you’ve done a trial before? I used a free 72 hour offer somewhat recently and am now back to being a nonpaying member. There’s a LivingSocial today for one month at $13 and I’m considering buying it, but I don’t know if Match considers me to not be a new user anymore. New customer promotions are so company-specific as to whether whether “new” means “never been a subscriber,” “not currently a subscriber,” “haven’t been a subscriber for at least 6 months,” etc., so I thought I’d ask here if anyone has personal experience. I tried googling but the terms I tried just bring up promo codes. Worst case, I guess I can buy it and use the Living Social guarantee to get a refund if it doesn’t work.

    • Anonymous

      Good lord just use a different email address. You aren’t under oath. Lately I’ve been wondering how any body on this site actually functions in real life.

      • Anonymous

        B!tchy, much? I’m perfectly aware that that is an option, but I have no interest in wasting my time creating a new profile, which Match annoyingly has to approve every word of, nor regenerating all of my saved communications.

        • Anonymous

          Just try it out. Buy the OG bag, wear the dress, ask for the raise. I feel like this site has just become endless mundane questions. there was one the other day that was literally how do I pack my own lunch. Not good lunch suggestions but literally how to I get food into the office.

          • Anonymous

            You’re welcome to stop coming here, as clearly the rest of us are just so far beneath your superior being.

      • Silvercurls

        By the same logic: if you don’t like what you see here, skip ahead! This is why the scroll wheel and the fingerswipe were invented.
        Last I checked this site had no requirement that all visitors must have their acts together 110% before they can read, post, or reply to comments.
        My grouchy response here also goes to the replies posted at 2:25 and 2:11 pm below.

      • Anonymous

        I didn’t want to have to go through the hassle of initiating a refund if it doesn’t work, but apparently asking a question on a site where many commenters have done online dating was the bigger chore.

  22. new york associate

    I need jewelry help. Where do you guys shop for reasonably priced jewelry that is of relatively high quality? I don’t have the money for real jewelry, and have just been picking up super-cheap jewelry here and there (like the kind that you find at the check-out counter at Ann Taylor or other random stores). But all of the cheap jewelry just looks actually cheap – and it starts to show signs of wear in about three minutes. Any recommendations for higher-quality but not expensive jewelry out there?

    My jewelry taste tends to run towards pearls, drop earrings, really simple necklaces. I have a really hard time shopping for stuff on Etsy.

    • TBK

      Not sure what options like this exist in NY (although I’m sure there are many), but have you looked at craft/flea/farmers’ markets? I’ve gotten a few fun things at Eastern Market in DC, which is like a permanent craft/flea type market. I’ve found you can get real jewelry on the less precious end (e.g., silver, turquoise, coral, garnet) for a decent price and in a unique style if you buy from the artisans. Otherwise I get things on sale at Macy’s.

    • Orangerie

      Dogeared jewelry (sold at Nordstrom and Zappos) has some nice, simple necklaces that hold up well. Their silver stuff is sterling and the gold-toned pieces are sterling dipped in gold.

    • Jenna Rink

      I’ve bought several pieces from PearlsStory on etsy, and been very happy with them. I have a couple necklaces from there that I’ve worn regularly for several years and they still look great. I also have a pair of pearl drop earrings that I wear all the time and they still look beautiful. Their prices are so good that the first time I ordered from them I was sure that I was going to receive total junk, but everything I’ve bought looks just as good in person as it does on their site.
      https://www.etsy.com/shop/PearlsStory#

  23. Famouscait - Reupholstery disaster update

    Thanks for the insightful debate on Friday about my re-upholstery disaster. I have an update and would love some advice…

    So my husband talked with the shop owner on Friday evening over the phone, and he (the shop owner) was really irate. We agreed to bring the chair back on Monday and discuss the details then. The owner said he could do the work how he wanted – we could not tell him how to do his job, etc. etc. He said he steam-cleaned the original fabric he left on the chair and it was his prerogative to do so. (This is totally unacceptable. He never mentioned steam-cleaning and I never would have agreed to such. He said he’d be removing the fabric).

    Fast forward to today, we weren’t able to take the chair there (its raining out and it would get wet in the back of the truck we borrow) so my husband and I stopped by. Told him 1) why we couldn’t bring the chair by today and that we’d bring it on Wednesday when the weather cleared, and 2) that we had put a hold on the check, and we wanted him to hear that from us before his bank told him it wouldn’t clear. That’s when things just got ugly. He accused me of thinking it was “slavery times” (this man is black; I am white) and started yelling again that he could do the work how he wanted and he absolutely wouldn’t be taking fabric off the chair. We reiterated again that it would be better to discuss all this on Wednesday when we’d be back with the chair. Exit shop.

    As I was driving back to my office, he called and left me a voice mail. Identified himself, his shop, and said that we could “keep our check and the chair. He didn’t want to be bothered by this any longer. Thank you and have a nice day.” This seems almost too good to be true, based on how deceitful and unprofessional he has acted up to this point. I have the voicemail saved on my phone; is this enough if we had to prove at some later point that he’d said the case was closed? Is there something else I can/should do to document that he said this?

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