Coffee Break: Eva Mother-of-Pearl Knobs

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1. I thought these were earrings at first and I would actually like them better for that purpose – I think the design works better on a smaller scale. So pretty though!

   1. Ha! Me too. Then I saw the price and I was like what does that mean $28 for two? Aren’t all earrings in pairs? Then I realized they were knobs.

   2. Ha, me three! And I would have ordered them!

      1. Too funny, I thought “knobs” was going to be another dreadful earring term, like “huggies.”

   3. So glad I wasn’t the only one haha.

   4. One of my friends gifted me a similar light switch cover, also from Anthroplogy. At first I was like huh? But it’s a pretty little luxury I wouldn’t have bought myself.

   5. Wait… they’re not earrings?

   6. they’re earrings if you’re committed enough.

2. I’m interested to hear your favorite drugstore skincare products. I’m trying to lower the cost of my skincare routine.

   My current favorite is Toleraine Hydrating Gentle Cleanser from La Roche-Posay. I use this as step 2 of cleaning, following an oil cleanse (with Hada Labo oil, which I don’t think is drugstore but is drugstore priced)

   What are your favorites?

   1. Not drugstore, but drugstore prices – I use The Ordinary products and really love them. Very inexpensive! For true drugstore, CeraVe.

      1. I came here to say both of these! I use lots of drugstore products + The Ordinary.

         Morning: Cetaphil gentle cleanser, TO’s azelaic acid, Neutrogena hydroboost for sensitive skin if I’m feeling dry, CeraVe AM moisturizer + sunscreen

         Evening: Cetaphi gentle cleanser, TO’s niacinamide serum, Tretinoin (Rx), and CeraVe moisturizing cream

      2. I was just going to respond with both of these. CereVe salicylic acid face wash is one of my favorites, I use it on my face elbows and chest and some spots where I have trouble with eczema or generally want to exfoliate. The Ordinary is great, so if their higher end concentrates line by Deciem.

         1. For Airplane and Count C, what The Ordinary /DECIEM products do you use, specifically? I go to the website and I am… overwhelmed.

            I currently get my tretinoin/azaleic acid/niacinamide via curology, and I’m happy with that. But I’m always looking for a good course for antioxidants, always the elusive vitamin c, and exfoliants, as well as very hydrating items. And maybe some secret ingredients I don’t know about yet!

            1. Ah, so the ordinary’s retinoid is not as strong as Rx tretinoin from curology. But I would look at their guides. I found the regimen guide on their website very helpful – look at regiments based on whaat results you want – do you have irregular texture? hyperpigmentation? wrinkles? dry skin? Regimen guide will help you figure out what molecures and active ingrdients target what.

               If this helps, I’ll give you equivalents for what you have:

               curology tretinoin, so tretinoin is the strongest retinoid and Rx only, the Ordinary version is weaker than Rx strength but still effective. The Ordinary has options for you strongest is Granactive Retinoid (5% or 2%) or if you’re new to retinoids, retinol (1%, .5% .2%), $10
               curology azaleic acid: The Ordinary Azelaic Acid Suspension 10%, $8
               curology niacinamide: The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%, $6

               I use all of the above and other things, all approved by my derm, but I don’t want to overwhelm you.

               Hydrating: My favorite oil is their 100% Cold-Pressed Virgin Marula Oil. A serum option is Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 (put it on DAMP skin, Hylauronic acid is amazing, it literally pulls moisture from the air and hydrates your skin), if you don’t like serum and prefer cream then Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA (a great basic moisturizer, you can use this to mix with pea size dots of acids, peptides or other active ingredients for easy absorption and smooth application)

               Vitamin C: Here I would look at the options on the menu on the left under Vitamin C. They have everything from powder to cream to silicone suspension, this is just a preference thing. I think the starter is Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%.

               Good luck, remember it takes like 5 weeks of use to really see effects on the skin.

            2. We may have very different skin, so I am not sure if my routine will be helpful but . . .

               In the AM this is my routine: the Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%, Hyaluronic Acid 2% +B5, CeraVe daytime moisturizer, then The Ordinary Mineral UV Filters SPF 30

               At night my routine is: clean with TO Squaline Cleanser, a Paula’s Choice 8% AHA, then TO Rose Hip Seed Oil.

               My skin looks great (although certainly partly thanks to genetics, but no one guesses that I am 40.

            3. To add: I am only using the PC AHA because I had a big bottle of it and it lasts forever. I will swap over to a TO product once I am done so I only have to order from one place.

   2. Pixi Glow Tonic
      Olay Regenerist Cream
      ROC Retinol sensitive cream

   3. When I got my first pimples as an early teen, my pediatrician told my mom to get me Neutrogena glycerin soap, and 20 years later, I’ve used Neutrogena for every skin stage since then. My skin just responds super well to it. (I wear their foundation, too.) Anything from the brand that meets your skin needs would be a good bet.

      1. I remember that soap so vividly – even the scent of it!

   4. Alpha Skincare!

   5. Pacifica Super Flower face oil rivals some far more expensive oils that I’ve tried. Most of Pacifica’s products have great ingredients.

   6. I like knockoffs of the $$$ vitamin c serums – nufountain and timeless are both ones I reorder a fair amount.

      1. I also love Timeless – for the price is it a really excellent product.

   7. Garnier micellar water with the pink cap.
      CeraVe face wash
      I use Asian Beauty for the rest of my routine. Lots of CosRx products, which are in the $16 to $24 range (I buy them on ebay through AB sellers, like rosesrosesshop, iamlove-shop, dream.forcast. Sometimes the shipping takes awhile to arrive, but the products are all authentic.

3. Does anybody have a recommendation for an outdoor/patio rocking chair? Something that doesn’t look country but is comfortable and holds up well. Thanks!

   1. I have been looking at Adirondack chairs lately, so naturally my ad feed is all sorts of Adirondack chairs, including a rocking version. Overstock, Pottery Barn–everyone has one. I don’t need a rocking chair, but they do look comfier than the non-rocking version. Also, Article has a rocking outdoor chair with cushions that shows up constantly. It looks nice, but hey, Google–I’m NOT looking for a rocker. Send those to Cbara instead.

4. Ugh — I think that my kids have forgotten how to be good at multiplying. One kiddo who was formerly very advanced in math, struggled with multidigit multiplication today (had a sitter who is a grade school teacher over for some refreshing) and I swear the other one can’t remember times tables past the 3s. I feel so adrift and don’t imagine that distance learning will make the situation better. I think that we will be paying a lot of teachers to come over for tutoring in the late afternoon/evening, but I feel bad that this is happening (and for how they “hate math” and “are not good at it” vs “your distance learning was weak” and “you will get there with guided daily practice”).

   Is it just us? Are boy parents hearing this, too (I am a girl parent and very pro-math; not worried about my kids’ reading but a bit concerned that one is snickering while reading a book of Dilbert comics — how is this funny for someone who has never held a job and is just 12???)?

   1. I mean, I’m an adult with advanced degrees, and I don’t think I could do multi-digit multiplication if called upon. This to me is a skill where you totally lose it if you don’t use it.

   2. It’s not just you. Every child in the country is behind…behind on an arbitrary calendar we made up as a society, that we can adjust as a society in these exceptional times. There will months, if not years, of review when students get back in traditional classrooms.

      And there are some stupid jokes in Dilbert – a dumb boss can be sometimes read the same as a dumb principal, etc.

      1. Dilbert also has some animal characters who work in the office IIRC. The humor could even just be that an animal is using office lingo? I would also be concerned if a 12-year-old was fully on board with Dilbert–it’s always seemed mean-spirited to me, toward the wrong targets. I guess I’m also biased against Scott Adams based on interviews I’ve read with him.

   3. If your 12-year-old can’t remember how to multiply, there is a problem with your school’s math instruction that goes back farther than the pandemic. That concept should have been solidified years ago. You needed to hire a tutor anyway. If your 12-year-old is college-bound and was in sixth grade this year, she should already be through pre-algebra (at least in our very mediocre local public school system).

      1. Oh wow this is insane to me. Multiplication memorization is not important.

         1. I was great at this stuff when I was being tested on it but now? I just ask Siri lol

      2. Yeah I wouldn’t panic, but that does seem a little odd. I’m in my 30s and can still multiply, even though I’ve never been great at math and don’t have to do it by hand ever. Maybe it’s the stress of the times, but it could also be worth checking out the curriculum to make sure key concepts are getting taught appropriately.

         1. Maybe mental multiplication is a party trick not a key concept

            1. It’s … fine if you can’t multiply, but it’s basic arithmetic and needed to advance in any academic course. You can’t graduate high school without it. Whether you feel like it’s relevant to your daily life has nothing to do with the OPs concerns.

   4. It’s the middle of summer. Your kid is fine.

   5. This happened to my kids 20 years ago. No pandemic in sight.

   6. If they have just forgotten their facts, it is an easy remedy. I homeschooled for multiple years, and there is an amazing resource called Times Tales by Trigger Memory Systems that is solely for teaching the upper multiplication facts. I taught each of mine from scratch in well under an hour. I am a big proponent of having your multiplication facts down cold; it makes actual multi-digit multiplication so, so much easier.

   7. Oh gosh, I don’t have kids, but I know that I excelled at math when I had really good teachers, so obviously it wasn’t just me. We moved when I was between 4th and 5th grades and my new school was further ahead in math. I probably would have gotten overwhelmed, except that my maternal grandmother was an amazing math teacher who came to visit and tutored me until I caught up. So there’s an idea. Retired math teacher as a tutor? My grandma did that after she moved to Florida, just so she could be around kids and younger people when she was living in a retirement community.

5. Does anyone have any feedback on Weight Watchers? Is it worth it? I’ve never used any sort of program before. Thanks!

   1. I lost about 30 lbs on Weight Watchers 10 years ago. The program was quite a bit different at that time than it is now. Unfortunately, I gained the weight back (plus 10 lbs!), so it didn’t work for me forever. I kept the weight off for about 6 years. I recently decided to try to lose it again and want it to stick for real this time. I signed up for WW for a few months, and I did like some aspects of the program– I was signed up for the plan where you don’t track things like fruit, eggs, and most lean meats. I liked that a lot because I felt like I had a big list of foods I could eat without tracking.

      I fell off the wagon for a while because weighing and tracking food didn’t seem appealing at all, so I decided it wasn’t worth it to me to pay the monthly fee any longer. Now I’m focusing more on making small changes rather than tracking in hopes I can get healthier and if I have any weight loss as a result, that the weight loss actually sticks.

   2. I’ve done WW in the past (more than 10yrs ago) and I’m doing it again. Previously I did meetings, but this time I’m doing online only and I’m definitely less motivated without the meetings. But I like the new plans and I find that I have enough points to feel satisfied, which helps. If you need help getting back to sensible portions and making better choices, it’s a good starting point.

   3. Love love love it. I’ve lost 20 lbs since the end of May on it. It is totally worth it IMO to sign up for a plan with a personal coach – you can chat or speak with a coach any time you want or schedule weekly calls. I’ve had my coach since the beginning and it’s been great to chat with her every week for ~15 minutes – she’s good about talking me through issues (like when my mom came to visit and I was drinking a bunch of wine to cope, etc) and encouraging me with whatever my weakness is that week (exercise, carbs, whatever). And WW has their own “Facebook” that’s really inspiring and a great community.

6. How would you council this family:

   Dad is a mid-senior level finance guy, mom is a midlevel individual contributor. Both work full time. I believe- but am not sure- that Dad makes about 2x what mom makes, and they could survive on 2/3 of their HHI, though it would be a bit tight.*

   Kids are 3 and 5 (about to enter K). Daycare has been closed and they’ve hired a nanny for the summer, but the nanny has not been great at keeping the kids separate from Mom and Dad and nanny will be leaving at the end of the summer. Pre COVID, kids had been going to daycare 3x/week (grandparents watching 2x). Daycare for 3 y/o is reopening, but only for families that go full time. Will cost them an extra $700/mo.

   Older kiddo (5) has major behavioral issues and needs special services from the public schools, including a 1:1 aid during much of the day. He doesn’t have a specific diagnosis but he’s got severe anxiety, OCD and can get violent (throwing things in rage, etc). This is relevant because school is opening but only for 2 days/week and the rest will be remote. For a mainstream neurotypical kid, 3 days a week of remote learning for K is near impossible (I have a first grader who did it last year); for him it will be impossible. Special Ed resources are offering an additional in person day, but that’s it. They’d signed up for extended day, but the town has cancelled it.

   Option1: hire a nanny; see if nanny can watch 3 y/o 2-3 days a week and on remote days, also watch 5 y/o and get him to do his schoolwork.

   Option2: pay for full time daycare for 3 y/o and find a nanny/tutor for 2-3 days/week for 5 y/o plus the after school hours for the 5 y/o on in person days.

   Option3: mom quits; 3 y/o stays home with mom all day, mom tries to nanny/tutor 5 y/o 2-3 days/week.

   These are family friends of ours that have been trying to figure things out all summer. They are open to any and all advice, or I wouldn’t even pose the question.

   I think there might be an option 4 here, which would be to have mom work part-time (if her employer will allow this), on days when 5 y/o has in-person school, then send the 3 y/o to a part-time preschool (this would have to be a new school).

   There are lots of cons and very few pros to each option. The family is really on the brink of crisis (moreso than the rest of us). Wife/mom has talked about having to quit, and I’m not sure there are other options, but she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to be a nanny/tutor, she doesn’t want to have to be home with an energetic 3 y/o who desperately needs the socialization and a boy who really needs special services. They really can’t afford the dual option because of the full time daycare requirement, but would consider it if they could find a good person interested in the odd hours (really hard to do, they struggle to find a sitter because of son’s behavioral issues).

   Would love to hear any or all ideas. And before it comes up, I’m posting here and not the mom’s site because y’all are employers. What might you council a valued but fairly junior employee/mentee that was in this position? What accommodations might she (or dad) reasonably request? Dad could take a few weeks of CARES leave, but it doesn’t make financial sense as a long term solution.

   *Currently paying 1200/month in daycare fees, so any solution that eliminates daycare would results in that savings.

   1. Full time day care for 3 year old nanny plus school for 5 year old. Sounds like no one can watch 5 year old and do anything else. Also I’d look again at the school- is there a private school open all the time? Push the public school to do a private placement.

   2. I think it sounds like they need a full time nanny or a full time daycare, preferably one that busses to the elementary school. They could also look at a private schools that may go full time – where I live there are parochial schools that have special needs classes. I think it would help them to seek out local special needs parenting groups to see what others are doing, it ‘s going to depend on where they live.

   3. Are grandparents still helping or staying distanced because of Covid?

      The simplest answer here sounds like hiring a nanny and not doing daycare. Minimizes duplicate paid supervision, avoids having to find a great nanny who would only be offered a part-time situation in option 2 (agree that would be really hard!), helps with logistics of getting 5yo to and from school on days he attends in person, and Mom doesn’t lose her mind.

      1. I was going to ask the same question about grandparents. I have elementary school kids and local grandparents who have done at least 1 day a week (changed to “1 afternoon a week” once they started school) but… we’re not planning to rely on grandparents for any childcare once kids are back in school due to the risk.
         In this case, I say full time nanny, no daycare, to give some consistency. Also, I’m really worried about the high demand for nannies, so finding a nanny who is willing to do part-time (when she could instead get a full-time job) may be tough.

   4. No advice but when you laid out those options it really puts it into stark relief how awful the options are for working parents and schooling this fall.

      Absolutely out-there-crazy-idea – do they live near a college town? Would it even be possible to find a college student that has remote online classes and could watch the kids the days the student doesn’t have class?

   5. This is a tough situation. I think this family is going to be hard-pressed to find a nanny who can handle the 5-year-old’s needs, plus watch a 3-year-old. My son has special needs — although not quite as severe as the ones you’re describing — and finding a caregiver for him, particularly at ages 5-8, was incredibly difficult. It does not surprise me that the current nanny is having a hard time. The mom going part-time would be the best solution. Quitting is the last resort, for the sake of the mom’s mental health, but it probably needs to be on the table as a consideration. This is not a typical child care scenario.

   6. Definitely a nanny for both kids, with the 5 year old going to school when possible.

      That is essentially what I’m doing. My oldest (4) also receives special services at school. She will be there whenever it’s open for her development, but the nanny is my reliable source of childcare for her and my baby.

   7. I’d put money towards a private school for the 5 yo – I don’t know if they’d be back in person or what, but I’d at least start with finding a better educational option for him. I’d find a p/t nanny or cheaper p/t daycare for the 3 yo.

   8. Is full time daycare for both kids an option if they are able to handle the special needs? Ours is opening services for kids up to age seven, so we’re holding our five year old back a year from kindergarten to do another year in daycare.

   9. This sounded too much like a math story problem so I apologize for not sticking through it.

      Hang in there! You can do it!

   10. Autism mom here. There are no good answers but I like the mom-part-time thing the best. Is the kid in ABA therapy for behaviors? Might be helpful if not costly (family should research the controversy around ABA though). A lot of schools are putting special needs kids in the high risk 5 days a week group but it depends where you are. Call the local board of disabilities and see if they have suggestions?

   11. Get a nanny. Have the 5 yo go to school 3 days a week. Have the nanny do learning-ish activities with the 3 yo 1:1 on the days the 5 yo is at school. On days when the 5 yo is home, just have the nanny have fun with both kids. Not TV all day, but building blocks and scooter rides. Don’t bother having the nanny try to do DL with the 5 yo. It’s not worth the stress and 3 days of Kindergarten is enough. If the parents want more, they can do a little extra learning with the 5 yo on weekends.

7. Does anyone do 14:10 intermittent fasting? I have done 16:8 without problems but all my social media ads are telling me at my age I should be doing 14:10. (Mid-40s)

   1. Give it a whirl and see how your body reacts! 14:10 is basically the eating schedule that I grew up on (no food/snacks after dinner) though I don’t think my parents know what IF is.

   2. 14:10 is not intermittent fasting

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