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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
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The jacket is $498 and available in regular sizes 0–14 and petite sizes 0–14. Floral-Embroidered Stretch Wool Jacket
For a more affordable option, Zara has a navy embroidered blazer for $89.90.
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- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
They also make a floral-embroidered stretch wool dress that is all kinds of gorgeous (and, at $428, not in my budget).
Anonymous
Pretty picks. I find their suiting quality really good, my summer weight wool suits from them have worn really well. Casual tweed and chino fabric pieces were not as robust, I wore them out sooner than I expected.
Anonymous
Oooooh love!
Anon
Yes, this is beautiful!
Lobby-est
Gorgeous!
PSA veg recipes
I’ve often seen people here ask about recipes. I’m Indian and I’ve loved vegrecipesofIndia.com
There are photos at each stage, and the blogger is vegan so many substitutes for cream, etc.
Also a lot of her recipes are gluten free.
Arya
+1 to this. The pictures are very useful and the recipes are very accurate and traditional. Totally my recommendation as well.
Anon
How is this a moderated comment? Genuinely curious as to what about Indian food upset someone enough to report.
Kat G
“Moderated” just means it went through the queue because they didn’t use an email address. Working on removing that b/c it doesn’t imply management approval in context either.
cat socks
Thanks for sharing the link! I’m Indian and my Mom is a great cook, but I get intimidated trying to re-create her recipes. This looks like a good place to start.
Anon
It’s one of my favorite cooking websites, too.
Her bhindi masala recipe is part of my regular dinner rotation.
Biggestballsintheroom
Ooh, thanks for this – looking forward to perusing recipes.
Alanna of Trebond
Thanks for the recommendation! For those who need extremely step by step instructions, my favorite youtube channel is bongeats (outed as a Bengali, I guess…)
Anonymous
You guys. I know everyone has different levels of comfort for different things as the country opens up, so adjust what I’m suggesting to your own comfort levels.
We have been at home, basically sheltering in place leaving only for groceries and the occasional trip to the garden center for more plants, since March 12, with three kids 7 and under. DH has been working from the basement. I’ve been working as much as possible but nowhere near full time.
We went to visit family this weekend who live about three hours away in Rhode Island. We stayed with my dad and stepmom and my brother visited too.* They all had an absolute blast with the kids and DH and I got a bit of time off (we didn’t leave- we just were not the only adults!!!). The kids rode bikes and ate ice cream and played in the yard and went to the beach (which was nice and empty). The “beach” is just the strip of sand down the road from my dad’s house. Normally it’s rocky and buggy so we don’t go but you’d think it was the carribean the way my kids enjoyed it. They just filled buckets and collected rocks and splashed around. They wrote with chalk in someone ELSE’S driveway.
It was 3 days and I feel absolute I feel absolutely restored.
If you have low risk friends or family and can get away for a few days I highly, highly encourage it. And/or if you have a beach within a few hours I highly encourage getting out and talking a long walk.
*dad and stepmom are healthy and not quite 65 and have been also more home bound except for getting groceries. Brother has been visiting them since the start of things as he lives along and a few minutes away. Stepmom is a retired nurse and felt comfortable with everything. To each their own risk. We are
Not yet ready to visit my 80 y/on ILs or my grandma in her 90s.
Anonymous
I picnicked with two friends and it was so restorative. And just sat in a park reading for a couple hours. Delightful.
Seventh Sister
A couple weeks back, I had a takeout picnic with a friend in her community garden plot. It was so nice to do something normal again, especially since my city is now under a f-ing curfew and I’m stuck at home.
Anon
I’m glad you had such a nice weekend. We did a day trip to a beach on Friday and it was SO restorative. We didn’t see a single soul, my toddler had so much fun playing in the water and it was great to be outside in the fresh air and sunshine. DH and I were joking that after 2.5 months of quarantine that boring Midwestern lake beach might as well have been Fiji.
Anon
That’s nice you had fun, but people should adapt your suggestion to what’s permitted in their states. Three-hour one way non-essential travel isn’t permitted in mine as this pandemic rages on. Let’s all continue to do our part to help others make it through this pandemic and see if we can improve our own mental health through acts of kindness to all.
Anon
Ok, but the flip side of that is that it goes without saying that people shouldn’t be breaking any laws and it’s kind of condescending to tell people they need to make sure what they’re doing is legal.
Go for it
+1
Anon
Condescending or necessary? Obviously a lot of people have gotten quarantine fatigue. We all sometimes need a reminder that this is a marathon and not a sprint and that our actions impact others, even if they help ourselves. Yes, a lot of us hate running, but we’ll all be better off with less transmission and if people choose “responsible recreation” close to home.
Anonymous
Condescending and unnecessary.
Anon
But I’m not sure why driving 3 hours is a relevant detail here – from the virus standpoint that is no less risky than going next door to your neighbor’s house to hangout and swim. The bans against travel were put in place when there was a fear that hospital ERs would soon be overwhelmed, and car accidents are a leading cause of ER visits. There’s no longer any immediate concern about overwhelming hospitals. We’ve all heard experts talk about the risks of various activities, and everyone agrees that outdoor recreation is pretty low risk, and seeing family members who have also been self-quarantining is low risk. It’s pretty clear that OP is treating this like the marathon it is, and the nitpicking is exhausting.
Anon
Because driving long distances increases the reach and spread of the virus. In our state, we are told to recreate close to our homes only and to avoid transmitting the virus to rural communities in our popular recreation areas 2-4 hours away from our largest cities. It’s safe to say a lot of people remain unaware or have chosen to disregard that judging by news reports, social media, and reports from family and friends. Again, no one viciously attacked OP here – no need to turn this into a huge fight.
Anon
The idea that we need to stay “close to home” is not grounded in science at all and not espoused by many/most state governments, including my own. The last couple weekends I’ve driven 100+ miles both weekend days to spend time in state parks, never coming within 20 feet of another person. I’m far less likely to get or spread the virus than the people who are walking across the street to get a drink at a packed neighborhood bar or working out at their local gym. (This is also why I object to using mobility data as a proxy for social distancing, because often if you’re driving a lot, it’s actually taking you to a remote area where you can easily social distance.)
Anon
Yeah, we can all assume that people know enough to ignore advice that does not pertain to them.
Would you ask a man to litter his discussions with qualifiers?
Anonymous
+ 1M to your last sentence
Seventh Sister
Of course not. Men can just say and do things for pleasure, women have to worry about everything instead of enjoying anything.
Anonymous
She said to adjust to your personal circumstances. I’m not sure why this comment is necessary, kind, or helpful.
Anon
She said to adjust to your own personal comfort with risk, which is not the standard that we should be using to protect others around us. It’s OK for other people to comment and point out a different calculus to use without it being construed as a personal attack.
Anonymous
Sigh. Someone shares something nice she did and the immediate response is attacking her because it might be illegal somewhere. It’s just exhausting.
Anonymous
“It’s OK for other people to comment and point out a different calculus to use without it being construed as a personal attack.”
It’s kind of not okay, actually. The nitpicking and micromanaging strangers from afar and endless critiquing of other people’s choices has gotten seriously exhausting. I don’t know if you have recognized this, but no one is doing what you think is “correct” anymore. No one. No one is really that interested in having their Coronavirus-related choices judged by anonymous strangers on the internet. The quarantine is basically over pretty much everywhere and so I am not sure why people on this board are continuing to dig in on things like this. It seems so pointless. I don’t fault the OP for doing what helped her mental health and allowed her children to see their family members. Several states have been substantially reopened for a couple of weeks now and the sky is not falling (from Coronavirus – from racism, yes, but not from Coronavirus). You honestly don’t feel like there are more immediate concerns and priorities right now than shaming someone for going to see their family? Prissily judging someone for driving 3 hours in a car is really the contribution you want to make to the discussion today? If so, man – I am not sure what to say about that.
anonshmanon
The calculation of my personal comfort level and what risk I am taking/willing to take, definitely includes what rules are in place in my area, and how far I am willing to stretch them. The OPs qualifier was sufficient.
Anonymous
OP here. I did say adapt to your own comfort level which, likely, would include not breaking the law.
Anonymous
I’m honestly curious, where is 3-hour one-way non-essential travel not permitted?
I think that “checking on family members” is a broad umbrella and in my state would cover a lot of longer trips. I trust that my elderly parents are OK b/c there are two of them, but my elderly MIL lives far from us and needs to be checked on, especially if she does not respond promptly to calls/texts (and no way are we putting her in a nursing home now). She also needs help around the house on occasion and between storms and concerns re civil unrest in her city, that need is growing not shrinking.
Anon
Illinois still says stay at home, I think. But they have some of the strictest rules, if not the strictest, of any state. A road trip to visit family would be fine in the vast majority of the US by now.
Anonymous
Wow — that is really not helpful guidance to multi-generational families who don’t live under the same roof. Even under my state’s strictest SAH order, “checking on the welfare of family members” was allowed. We have to change my MIL’s lightbulbs because we don’t want her climbind a ladder. Ditto a lot of other tasks. But SHE is safer at home than moving her into a nursing home or elder-living facility, so we can travel to her. I feel that people who need to do this are doing this b/c it could be elder neglect if they don’t (and they’d still have their conscience to live with). Often we visit to take a survey of needed items and safety items (loose railing) and to deal with tree limbs that may need to be taken down. We do the shopping while we are there. We do the errands. Older people still break their hips and have falls and we need to minimize that, too.
Anon
I don’t know the specifics of Illinois’s order, just that they’re one of the few states that still has a SAH order. Checking on family was allowed under my state’s SAH order (since lifted) as well. However, I would argue that this is not “checking on family” since it sounds like OP’s dad and stepmom are doing fine on their own. Visiting a MIL who needs assistance and help around the house is pretty different.
AFT
IL Stay at Home lifted on Friday and we moved to Phase 3, so a trip this weekend would have been fine. Also, some state parks have been reopened and outdoor recreation has always been OK (even on SAH), so I don’t think this would have been barred under our restrictions (Source: IL resident).
Anonymous
I think that the problem (philosophical; not actual) is that when you check on relatives and enjoy it, it looks like a social visit. Especially if it is at the beach. But that ignores the fact that people aren’t robots. Not everything has to be a dreadful chore to be discharging the duty to check on older relatives. I can go to buy medicine (allowed) and wind up on a total shopping bender as long as it’s from Walmart (can still splurge on electronics), Target, Home Depot, etc. It seems that there is an element of joy-shaming (and I think that s*cks). I can go get allergy shots (allowed) and have a great time driving around, listening to music, on a pretty day. I don’t recall a law saying I had to take the shortest way (which runs into where my city’s protests have been, so avoiding that).
Anonymous
Anon at 11:30, this is a really astute observation:
“It seems that there is an element of joy-shaming (and I think that s*cks).”
I agree, and I think that’s the problem many of us are having with these discussions – it’s not even about what is technically correct/allowed, it’s about posters who seem intent on robbing people of any joy or enjoyment they can wring out of their lives right now. Why? How is that productive or empathetic?
Alex
Anon@11:39:
Some of it seems to be coming from an idea that if people are allowed to enjoy things, then they’ll start treating this less seriously. I believe there were people making the same argument on the post about color-coordinating masks.
CountC
Parts of Pennsylvania are still under a red stay-at-home order, which means other than life-sustaining travel is discouraged. Although on June 5, all counties in PA will be either yellow or green, and this travel would not be discouraged at that point.
Anonymous
Surely you can check on your nana though? A lot of little old ladies live alone in their houses (which are also older and don’t maintain themselves).
CountC
I honestly haven’t looked into that specific example because I don’t have family members who need checked on. You can certainly make an argument it is life-sustaining though IMO
Ribena
Scotland. We’re not supposed to go further than 5 miles (although we can, but it’s discouraged)
Anon
I think it’s pretty obvious she did not drive to Rhode Island from Scotland in 3 hours.
Anon
Also Australia. In my state we were limited to our local area, then 50km from home.
Anon
What she did was also not permitted by Rhode Island, which until today required a 14 day self-quarantine for any out of state visitors regardless of point of origin. (Starting today that only applies for people coming from states with active Stay-at-Home orders).
Anon
Not allowed in California either, the country’s largest state by population.
Anonymous
So if I live in LA, I can’t go check on my MIL in Oakland? Like if she needs someone to go to the doctor with her b/c she is not great at listening to new things and remembering fine details (and sometimes she is nervous driving to new places)? That is nuts. Just send her to assisted living where she can die quickly? Move her from her one-story house to our house full of stairs and germy kids? Sorry, but I’ll take my chances with the law here.
SMC-San Diego
I live in California and do not think this is entirely correct. The stay at home order always allowed visits to elderly or disabled people who require assistance; a lot beaches are open and more are opening this week; and in many counties even restaurants have re-opened – albeit with a lot of restrictions. California is allowing individual counties to determine what “Stage 2” activities are permitted which is leading to a lot of confusion.
And I second the idea that we need to stop being the quarantine police. It would be nice if we could assume that our fellow-Corporettes know and will follow their local laws. We have reached the point where a lot of judgment calls are going to be necessary and we are all going to have to evaluate our own risk, tolerance for risk, and make decisions accordingly. My decision may not be the same as yours – but as long as what I am doing is legal in my jurisdiction it would be nice to discuss it without implicitly or explicitly called out for it.
Anon
I don’t live in CA, but even the strictest stay at home orders usually have a number of exemptions. My parents visited us last month and we were comfortable that we were not violating the stay at home order because they were going to be providing full-time childcare for us while they were here, and that is an essential purpose (and then the order was lifted before their visit, anyway).
Horse Crazy
Haven’t you heard people in CA say “essential travel only”? Essential means checking on your MIL in Oakland. It does not mean going to the beach (not trying to pile on OP at all, just saying what’s allowed in CA).
Seventh Sister
I’m not sure that’s true. And even if it is, California is not running checkpoints to make sure that people are less than a certain number of hours from their homes. I haven’t had the “opportunity” to visit my in-laws that are 1.5 hours away, but I’m sure it would be permitted (or at least I wouldn’t get in trouble for it).
Anon
What on earth are you talking about? You expect me to post as my own name here?
Anonymous
Hahahaha I had the same thought. Like you can change the name but the tone stays the same and it’s pretty evident who’s speaking…
Anon
Yup.
Anon
Hi! I’m going to assume that’s aimed at me, formerly Pure Imagination. I didn’t start this thread, though, so you’re being creepy for no reason. Ask Elizabeth if she’ll verify the IP addresses for you if you haven’t started your own PI-tracking tool already.
Anon
Sorry you went through this. It’s really pathetic and frankly bizarre that people are playing “detective.” Hopefully they find inner fulfillment someday
AnonATL
We did something similar, and it was so nice to be out of the house for a couple days with other family that had been following similar social distancing to us. It was wonderful to feel normal-ish again, like a proper summer weekend.
I was nervous leading up to it, but we took all precautions in transit and didn’t go to the store or anything while we were there. It was just uncrowded beach and the house. The change of scenery and physically seeing family was wonderful and very restorative for my soul.
Of course follow your local rules and only do what you are ok with risk-wise, but it was wonderful for our family and location.
Mclawyer
So glad you enjoyed your trip to Rhody. Rhode Island beaches are fully opening starting today and we are beginning “phase 2.”
Anon
I love Rhode Island’s beaches.
Anonymous
For a contingent here, joy during a quarantine is not allowed if it involves actual people. Joy from a Netflix bender or zoom call or fitness goal done in isolation, clearly allowed.
Anon
Nah, that’s really reductive. People are worried about civil unrest, the risk of death or illness, and the negative impact of the virus on their lives. No one is here to “steal joy.” Let’s try a little empathy and not assume that everyone who is worried about virus spread is just a jealous hater of joy.
Anonymous
For months, it seems that for people who are doing social activities that are allowed in their state (e.g., visiting a friend outside), there is an avalanche of “stay inside at home or people will die” comments. Everything is black or white. No gray. No joy, either.
Anon
No grey and no joy definitely describes this place’s attitude. Funny to think how many of these people thought the whole thing was overblown just 4 months ago.
Alanna of Trebond
This is amazing and I am so glad that you did this for you and your family. Really a lovely thing to read on Monday morning.
Walnut
I was in a very similar situation, so when my family’s state opened up we traveled to visit my parents and siblings who were all quarantining at my parents home. I was working from the kitchen table when my Mom dropped a plate of sausage and eggs in front of me and filled my coffee cup. I nearly cried at just how nice it was to be taken care of and that week of human contact filled my cup in ways I didn’t expect.
Yes, there was a risk, but after discussing with all stakeholders, it was within all of our risk tolerances.
Thanks, It Has Pockets!
I’ll admit, my boyfriend and I have both visited family in the last few weeks. I went to my mom and dad’s for Mother’s Day, and we spent a few hours at his mom and dad’s last weekend. It helps that we live close to both families and don’t need to spend the night, and the weather’s been nice enough to keep the family gatherings outside for the most part. We’re also waiting two weeks between family visit just to make sure we didn’t pick up anything or infect anyone.
I think that as cases start to decline fairly significantly, and things start to open up, let’s not go crazy, but cautiously visiting family and loved ones isn’t the federal crime I felt it was back in April, when states were seeing case spikes and overwhelmed hospitals.
Anon for this
Distraction from the news question (I live 3 minutes’ walk from blocks that were set on fire this weekend…) – my family is planning a first time St John trip and trying to decide whether a villa near Cruz Bay or Coral Bay would be best. Looks like we can get a bit more for our money near Coral but Cruz may have more to offer as far as restaurant choices. We are a quiet bunch (prefer a drink on our balcony at sunset to barhopping; the Ozarks pool scene exemplifies the antithesis of our vacation style) but do enjoy the ability to follow our mood at dinner time (e.g., fresh fish vs burgers or super-casual shack style vs upscale). Votes either way?
Panda Bear
Sounds lovely either way! I haven’t been so can’t offer knowledgeable advice, but I would weigh 1) how many people are going? If it’s a big group, maybe getting ‘more for your money’ in terms of space tips the scales, versus 2) how long will you be there, and what is the grocery store availability? If you’ll be spending many nights eating out (and less able to make your own food/drinks), then you might prefer the place with more food options.
Anon for this
Slightly more nicely appointed places with slightly more space between properties on the Coral end. It’s a small group so we don’t need a huge place. The best view we’ve seen is a property overlooking Coral… but we’re not planning to spend our entire trip at the villa so trying to give “villa view” vs “villa location for access to variety of groceries and restaurants” the appropriate weight :)
Anon
The further away you get from Cruz Bay, the less people there are, so if you’re a quiet bunch, head away from town. You don’t have to go too far to be away from the casual day-trippers over from St. Thomas.
Anon for this
Thanks — how far is “enough” for it to feel peaceful? We’re looking at a few that are along the peninsula between Grand Cruz and Chocolate, for example, vs. a few that have (slightly spectacular) views from the hills over Coral.
Anon
Going north from Cruz bay, I’d say you’re pretty clear once you’re past Cinnamon Bay. It’s been a while since I’ve been there, but Trunk Bay and Cinnamon Bay are both places that get quite a few cruise ship tourists over from St. Thomas.
Anon
It’s been a long time since I’ve been so I’m hesitant to offer advice, but just wanted to say YAY for this trip St. John is AMAZING! If you want a perfect beach read leading up to it or while you are there, Elin Hildebrand has a recent series out that is based there & she references a lot of the actual places on the islands.
Another Anon
I vote Coral Bay having been to that area twice. Quieter and better value, and still near a ton of amazing beaches and enough restaurants/food options. Note that it will be a slow and hilly drive and you’d be best in a Jeep or similar.
Anonymous
Trying to decide what to binge watch next with my partner – Ozark 1 or Westworld 3? (Succession is AMAZING if you haven’t seen it yet)
Anon
I vote for Ozark
Anon
+1
Anon
+100
anon
Succession is outstanding. Ozark is good, but different. Loved House of Cards and would love to find something similar.
anon
Just started watching I, Claudius – the 70ies BBC version of House of Cards/Game of Thrones. All the intrigue and weird sex(weirder because it’s the BBC in the 70ies), but none of the on-camera violence. John Hodgeman (whose podcast I totally enjoy) made a companion podcast for the show, which was reason enough for me to watch it. I recommend.
cat socks
Ozark is great.
Abby
Currently on season 2 of Succession! Ozark>>>Westworld. Westworld 3 was confusing and disappointing.
Panda Bear
Ugh, such a bummer! I loved the first season of westworld so much… then I found that season 2 was meh, and now it sounds like season 3 is even worse.
Anon
Season 3 was very J.J. Abrams. It was very entertaining and seemed like it was going somewhere but then the twist ending was that nothing really happened.
Sadie
We agree Ozark is way better than Westworld Season 3. I agree that for me, Season 1 of westworld was the best and each successive one has been less good. However, based on how 3 ended I’m still going to give 4 a chance because it looked like it might go a direction I like. I won’t say more so as not to give spoilers.
I have some friends who did not like Ozark so I guess it’s a personal taste thing, but I love it. I definitely liked the most recent season of Ozark way better than the most recent season of westworld.
Anonymous
Ooh, this is a tough call because I thought season 3 of Westworld was really good – I was “meh” about season 2 so I didn’t have high expectations of season 3, but I really liked it. However, Ozark is an amazing show and now that you can binge all the way through the end of season 3 – I’d go with that.
Anonymous
Money Heist
Anon
+1 This.
Anon
If you’re taking alternative suggestions, Succession.
Anon
Thoughts on how to acknowledge this weekend with our teams? I want to make sure my entire team feels supported but don’t want to cause any more hurt or pain. Has anyone seen their company/ their boss do this well? I’m in leadership but not The Boss.
tk
I’m in Minnesota and several members of my team live right in the middle of the worst hit areas. I live a few miles away but the smoke and sirens still kept me up most of the weekend. 1 of my team is in the national guard and I assume she was deployed all weekend. Another shares a parking lot with a building that burned down and she has 3 kids under 7.
Here is what I plan to do. I’m planning to reach out 1:1 and just ask, ‘how are you feeling’ and ‘what can I do.’ I won’t assume I know what anyone is feeling. I won’t compare to my situation, offer solutions, or criticize / fact check people as they’re talking. And anyone who needs a day off today (or this week) will get it, no explanation needed.
Anonymous
My adult daughter lives in the MN Lyndale neighborhood and she exhausted. I’m an hour away and I’m exhausted. I’m sure your team is equally exhausted. Your team probably needs rest, and flexible work from home/work hours. My son in law’s Fortune 500 company offered to pay for a night or two in a hotel to get them some rest and into a safe place, but they don’t want to abandon the neighbors. Just be understating if how exhausting it is for them right now.
Anon
What people really want is flexibility and some paid time off for mental health, not feel good messages. Why not give your team the afternoon off without having to charge vacation? That would be the ideal scenario for me and for SO many people I know – for our employers to give us space, not to try to be our friends or support systems.
Anon
This is exactly where I was leaning – tangible support. I’ll advocate for a wider company action and give time off to my direct team now. Thanks!
Anonymous
I would find it bizarre if my company acknowledged the weekend. They’ve never cared about racial justice before! I’d like to see matching donations, all the time, but it’s not going to happen.
anonshmanon
By that logic, they should never begin caring about it? Because they’ve never done it before?
Anonymous
We have one black employee in a non support role. A “thinking of you” communication would be completely tone deaf. In any case there’s zero risk of this happening. I just think OP should do an honest assessment of whether this will come across well or not.
Anon
At the very least a public statement in support of the movement or even a kind of “acknowledging difficult times” statement could be useful. I’m not sure why you assume the white employees aren’t upset at what’s going on or that they don’t have people of color that they care about (maybe that’s you but lots of us care about people directly affected by police violence or care as, you know, human beings with empathy). Also are you saying support role black employees don’t matter? How elitist of you.
anon2
I don’t know what the right answer is here. We received a message from our CEO that obviously was PR’d up. That said, I have had the chance to interact multiple times with our CEO one-on-one and I do believe the message was sincere. Regardless, I am white and privileged and so what I am feeling isn’t all that important IMO (there was police violence in our capitol down the road this weekend in reaction to protestors, FWIW). I don’t know how this message was received by our U.S. POC employees.
Anonymous
Might just be me but I’d say — don’t and certainly not in any way that seeks a response. Don’t ask on a call how people are feeling. What are they supposed to say — dandy? No one wants to discuss the REAL issues with a boss or coworker unless that boss or coworker are already a friend in which case if it’s a real friend, you’ve already been texting last week/weekend. If you must do something just do a stock email to make yourself feel better but don’t assume people care.
Anon
I agree with this. The vast majority of people wouldn’t feel comfortable speaking freely.
Anon
This is where I am. We have “mental health check” as the opening bullet on every call agenda and it’s just…. unhelpful at best and dismissive at worst. Call your direct reports and 1:1 have conversations.
pugsnbourbon
No official word from our college president yet.A couple emails have been sent recognizing Pride month, and both noted that the first Pride was a riot against police violence toward black trans women. I was glad to see that.
Agree with other posters that time off without penalty is a good move as well.
pugsnbourbon
And please do not do what the white CEO of my wife’s company did, which was to use an out-of-contact MLK Jr. quote about nonviolence in a mass email to employees.
pugsnbourbon
*context
Anonymous
I’m resisting my normal Monday greetings – hope you had a great weekend/how was your weekend/and similar. I’m not in a position to give anyone time off, the least I can do is not be tone deaf.
Anonymous
I’m resisting my normal Monday greetings – hope you had a great weekend/how was your weekend/and similar. I’m not in a position to give anyone time off, the least I can do is not be tone deaf.
Anon
I’ll be the voice of dissent here and say that leadership at my organization has semi-frequently sent out messages abouy community spirit and appreciation for people’s efforts (work and covid-19). I like to read them, and have not heard any grumbling in response. That being said, it’s also a great place to work, they have been very flexible about recent stressors, and the decision-making process is relatively transparent. I would say they’ve respinded this way to all the emergencies on our 2020 bingo cards, although last weekend was not particularly eventful here.
Sloan Sabbith
There was an article I saw on LinkedIn that I’ll try to find and link about how to talk to your team.
Sloan Sabbith
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/katherinecastro1_katherinecares-blacklivesmatter-activity-6671623029006721024-IQQ2
Anonymous
For people who live alone in a hotpot area, what are you doing on the weekends? This weekend I did nothing besides read a book and sit on my apartment terrace and suntan, and make my meals. I enjoyed reading and relaxing, but I felt like I was wasting the weekend. I honestly can’t think of anything to do besides maybe go outside for a walk (but the walking area near my apartment was absolutely PACKED with families). Just curious what other people are doing.
Anon
Hiking, reading, organizing old family photos, knitting, talking to friends and family, practicing a second language, biking, planning vacations without dates, and YouTube fitness videos. I’ve found that if I spend too much time “relaxing“ with Instagram, I feel incredibly unrelaxed by the time the weekend ends. Even your downtime should include a light hobby like reading or playing music if you want to avoid that feeling. Sounds like personally need some variety and new hobbies?
Anonymous
I walk every day. Go in the morning if it’s busy. I also walk with friends- we wear masks and I think the risk is low. I also go for drives to walk in different places (we we are allowed to do).
Anonymous
At a friend’s suggestion, I started a paint by number. I find it really soothing.
anonshmanon
I have played a game on my phone to similar effect, it’s called I love Hue. You have to sort colored blocks and each level results in a pretty color gradients. Aesthetically pleasing and calming.
Anon
I enjoy that game, but it always gives me eye-strain. YMMV, obviously.
Lydia
I love this game and find it so soothing… it really helps my anxiety.
Anon
Gardening. The kind with plants and dirt. I’m doing everything from seed because I am not going to nurseries but everything is coming along beautifully, and it’s so satisfying.
Anon
Sorry, I meant to reply and hit report by mistake out of the blue… Nothing to report in the comment obviously! Just wanted to give this a +1
Anon
Hiking, gardening, quilting, cross stitch, reading, cooking, film photography (including developing). Quarantine sucks but it’s been a boon for my hobbies!
Anon
Ugh, hit report by accident, sorry!
Walnut
We were still under mandatory shelter in place this weekend, so it didn’t look much different from a physical perspective than any other weekend. Obviously the emotional response was VERY different.
anon
I am seeing an increase in 1 hour Outlook meeting invitations from colleagues during this WFH stretch….the invitations are not framed well – no agenda and they invite a small army of folks, some relevant and many not relevant. I am politely declining and clearing the calendar daily. Many of these meetings could be solved with a brief phone call or email to get 2-3 questions answered – there is no need for a group discussion. My calendar gets overbooked daily and I have to manage/politely decline several meetings. (Most of them get cancelled which shows you they were unnecessary in the first place). Any advice appreciated.
Anon
At my company, convention is to invite necessary people in the “to” line and optional in the “cc” line.
You keep declining the meetings and ask if there are any action items for you or need to interface with certain teams/personnel on the call.
Tea/Coffee
This. You are living my pre-covid life and i spent a fair amount of energy just triaging my calendar. I would regularly ask myself and the organizer “Why ME? What value does my presence add?” If there was a reasonable answer, I would make every attempt to attend. However, I get a fair amount of meetings where I am there as a just-in-case… depending on my level of trust with the organizer I frequently say “I am double booked, so sorry, please let me know if anything comes up requiring my action/input.” This really only works when I trust that the other person can recognize such a situation and report on it faithfully.
I have also Told my supervisor in the past, that I was triaging in this way in order to actually get things done and not lose my mind. It was completely understood (and has indirectly led to me getting some additional hands on the team, yay).
Anonymous
I think keep doing what you’re doing. I am doing something similar, as I keep getting invited to 30-minute meetings that could really just be a quick email question. Unfortunately I think saying “please don’t invite me to unnecessary meetings” is not an option because A. it will make you look bad and B. no one thinks their meeting is unnecessary, so you’ll continue to get the invitations. I am just saying as little as possible, declining what I know isn’t relevant for me, and if anyone asks why (so far only one person has) I just say I have a conflict.
anonchicago
I’ve noticed the same. A lot more waste of time meetings and check ins, and general meetings taking longer because no one is ever on the same page. No wonder most people say they’re working more during this time…
anon8
I think what you’re doing is fine.
This makes me thankful that my company has always had conference calls and online meetings even pre-COVID. It’s been a few years since my boss or any co-workers have actually been in the same building. Luckily this has made the transition to WFH pretty easy.
Walnut
Our corporate culture is to push back on meetings with no agenda and decline where you’re not needed. If the meeting is not a frugal use of your time, you’re empowered to decline.
OP
OP here, love this…thank you!
Ankita
Is it possible to buy eBooks from a local bookstore or smaller bookstore chains? I know people have posted recommendations along those lines for physical books before here. I’d like some ebooks (come quickly, I’m moving soon and don’t want to have to lug books) but I also don’t want to buy it from the river store (personal choice, let’s not debate that).
Anonymous
It’s called Amazon. You do not need to give it a cute name.
This website gives lots of tips!
https://www.indiebound.org/ebooks
Anon
Hi! For a long time using “Amazon” would put an otherwise benign comment into moderation–so the river store was used as a workaround, just like there are other workarounds for other moderated subjects/words. Please start with kindness and grace. I don’t think anyone who is trying to find an Amazon alternative for eBooks is really interested in giving it a cute nickname. Thanks!
Anonymous
I think the actual name puts you in mod for some reason
Anonymous
It doesn’t. It’s just an annoyance.
Anon
It does not, and never has.
anon
I have been put in mod several times for using the name.
Ankita
Okay, I thought it did, a million apologies for my grievous mistake
Sloan Sabbith
Ha.
anonshmanon
bookshop.org has curated offers from independent bookstores (for browsing only, I have not found a way to search these collections for a specific book), as well as a general online shop that you can search. It’s a nonprofit supporting independent bookstores (which is why I put up with the slightly clunky website). It looks like it forwards you to My Must Reads for ebooks/audiobooks, which looks like another independent platform.
Cat
If you haven’t looked into borrowing ebooks from your local library, start there! Very easy.
Anonymous
Libro.fm does this for audiobooks
Anonymous
Dammit I accidentally reported my own comment when trying to reply. Sorry moderators.
I also just found this list for indie ebook resources via google: https://www.indiebound.org/ebooks
Anonymous
Does anyone else fear that the activities of the weekend play into a DJT win? I mean the whole election turns on flipping 4-5 rust belt states back like Pa, Mich, Ohio etc. The demographic in those suburbs is 50+ year old white males. Maybe at first they even felt bad for Floyd and his family but now as it’s been a week all they see is — oh so they’re just burning things down and grabbing new phones, what else is new, well I’m a blue lives matters guy and here’s Biden’s camp providing bail money, yeah DJT for me.
I know that the protesters aren’t the looters, often it’s outside troublemakers or opportunists but does your average person know or care? I grew up in a community like this (granted it was in the northeast and it’s been years) but any minimal support for minorities vanished the minute there was trouble started — no matter who started the fire or looted.
Is the only hope that folks will say — I thought I voted for law and order and he’s hiding in his bunker and look at this chaos? That seems like a thin hope esp when he’ll put out a fiery dozen tweets or make a speech and people will say — see he stepped up. Believe me I want to be totally wrong on this because who wants 4 more years of chaos and joblessness. Anyone living in those states/esp the suburbs of them? What’s the feeling re DJT?
Anonymous
My feeling is that he is doing nothing. Nothing. Nothing about the pandemic, nothing about the uprising, nothing for anyone to support. How could this not make him look weak?
Anon
Agree with you but OP’s question was how is it playing in rust belt suburbs? Do they think he’s just hiding — which he is? Or do they think — nah he’s still strong because look the other side supports looters (when really they support a reduction in police brutality).
Anonymous
Why are you being the comment police? I was saying surely they must think he’s weak. No one is going to have a precise factual answer as to how a demographic is going to vote 5 months from now. I understand people are trying to check trollls here, but ignoring trolls is better & criticizing regular/normal posters will not help the cause.
Anon
If you think Trump has done nothing about the pandemic, you need to watch better news sources and educate yourself, both on what he is doing and the constitutional separation of powers we have in this country.
Anon
I am not a Trump supporter, but do try to form my opinions about nuanced issues from balanced-credible sources. But even with my good intentions, I find it exhausting to have to rise above his inability to be nuanced (and coherent and not stoking the fires of racism and violence) and then be asked to be nuanced to see his “good.”
Anon
Just because he’s doing stuff doesn’t mean any of it is good.
anonchicago
I totally agree with you, unfortunately. Don’t live in those states but family does and I travel to those states for work frequently. The protests and the pandemic have totally become a city vs rural issue to many people in this country and it totally plays into DT’s hands for re election.
Anonymous
Nope.
Anon
I don’t live in those areas but I’d be curious about how it is there too. But I do agree with you that the average person who doesn’t check the news all day long doesn’t know or care who is starting fires. My parents fall squarely in this demographic though are blue and live in NJ. But they watch the nightly news (NBC) and view it as gospel. They pursue no further news, they don’t question anything, and if NBC showed it — OMG it’s true. The 30 min nightly news is NOT nearly as analytical as MSNBC simply because it’s short. So yeah all they see now is people starting fires and grabbing Chanel bags and that’s that; sympathies for Floyd are there but not like they were a week ago simply because of the fires and stealing. If they were the red/leaning red types, yes this would make them stronger in their views of Donald.
Anon New Yorker
I worry about this too.
Anon
I hope you are wrong but I feel the same way.
Anon
Yes, I live in one of those states and I definitely think the riots will help Trump. However, I’m still optimistic about Biden’s election because things are such a sh1tshow with the virus and the economy. Trump was historically unpopular to begin with, and it’s hard to be an incumbent when everything is terrible.
Anon
I think the election is Biden’s to lose and it hinges on turnout. My fear is that Biden will run up a lead in pre-election polls and folks will get complacent, assume a win is a done deal and not bother to vote. I don’t think there are very many undecided voters, but I think there are a lot who won’t bother to show up if they think it’s a done deal.
Anonymous
This is where my thoughts are going. When you take someone who never had more than about a 43% approval rate to begin with, and send him into an election with a recent past history of a poorly-handled pandemic that tanked the economy for working class people AND widespread rioting that he failed to prevent or address, I think that means something. The only concrete action he’s taken recently was to sign that executive order about re-examining the Communications Decency Act, which may not result in any action (and which by the way many people are supportive of, including Biden). The country is literally burning down and that’s been his big action – let me sign an executive order that may not result in anything happening because a social media network was mean to me.
My thought is, the die-hard racists who voted for Trump wanted to see what’s been happening never happen at all, OR they wanted to see the National Guard and the military sent into the streets against the protestors to crack skulls. I think they will end up faulting him for not handling the situation (even though how they would have wanted him to handle the situation is sick and horrifying). They won’t vote for Biden but they probably won’t go out of the way to vote for Trump.
In discussing this with friends and family lately here’s what I think: for many self-acknowledging racists and casual racists who don’t identify that way but still are racist, Trump was literally their Great White Hope. He was going to restore America to greatness by silencing minority voices that had made things really annoying and uncomfortable for them, and canceling all the things they felt had sent the country off the rails, like affirmative action, abortion, offshoring of blue-collar jobs, etc. Look where we are now. None of that has happened. Over the weekend John Roberts refused to acknowledge that churches had a right to reopen in the pandemic because religious freedom and scolded Kavanaugh for writing a POS dissent. Abortion is still legal, prayer is still not back in schools, people are still not tolerating police violence against people of color, the economy is in the toilet and he has not done anything to protect low-wage workers, manufacturing or small business, etc. etc. etc. He’s done some bad stuff but the worst bad thing he’s done is nothing. He’s really done nothing that helped a lot of the people who thought the day that he was elected, “my good day has come.” I think many of the people who voted for him in 2016 are going to think he didn’t go too far enough and they won’t go out of their way to get to the polls in November. That’s my hope and I’m clinging to it!
anon
I agree with the last paragraph here. I think at the end of the day for a lot of the racists and ultra conservatives who were so pro-Trump don’t see any “real” change to any of the horrific policies they wanted him to push. Wall street is doing great but a lot of his base is not. He’s fought a lot with China, but there aren’t many factories reopening in America.
Anon
I’m really hoping this makes Biden choose Rep. Val Demmings.
Anon
I had not heard her name mentioned before, but I think this would be a terrific pick. Klobuchar is toxic now, and I think Whittmer is also not great given how controversial MI’s stay-at-home orders were. I love Elizabeth Warren personally and politically, but I don’t think that pick would help him in the rust belt at all.
Anonymous
Reminder that DJT won on the most narrow margins- under 1% in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. He has clearly chosen to antagonize as a strategy, but I am optimistic that 1% (and greater) will vote Biden.
Anon
At the same time, I think there are a lot of conservatives who didn’t vote or voted Hillary in ’16 because Trump was this total wildcard and they weren’t even sure he was a conservative, and now they’re happy because in terms of actual policy he’s followed a pretty traditional conservative agenda (tax cuts, environmental rollbacks, conservative judges, etc). There are definitely people who voted for him in’ 16 who won’t support him this time, but the reverse is true too.
anon
I think there are some people that will think the way you describe in the first three paragraphs but honestly I cannot imagine any of them not voting for DJT even if we turned the clocks back and this weekend had been business as usual.
Anonymous
In just the past few weeks, I’m witnessing a lot of enthusiasm for DJT from Ohio Kasich voters who were very, very slow to come around, as well as from Republicans in other swing states on social media. It’s alarming and discouraging to me.
I’ve seen no real enthusiasm for Biden anywhere, just (a) party loyalty and (b) “at least he’s not Trump.” I confess he seems like a weak and problematic candidate to me, so maybe I just don’t get along with people who see more in him?
I’m not optimistic, and I’m also concerned that an anticipated “second wave” in the fall may lower turnout a lot. I can only hope I’m wrong and that my circles aren’t the ones that matter.
Anonymous
OTOH, if Biden supporters think Trump will win, maybe that will motivate more democrats to go to the polls? I personally know (and have heard of many more) people in swing states that did not show up to vote for Hillary because they assumed it would be a landslide victory. Why take on the expense of childcare, time off work, an Uber because the bus doesn’t run at that time, when she’s going to win anyway? If people feel like their vote really matters, they’re more likely to undertake the burden of showing up. All the better if more states expand mail in ballots.
Anon
Ideas for being antiracist at work? It occurred to me that I can use my position of relative privilege as an upper middle class white woman with a decent financial safety net to be the one to point out my employer the glaring flaws in our office re-opening plan. I got the idea when three separate female coworkers of color privately messaged me (we’re all friends) to talk about their concerns. I know that two of them have raised the issue lightly with their own supervisor, but I figure that this is an opportunity for me to use my privilege and lower likelihood of retaliation to all of our advantage by advocating for safer policies. Anyone else have any other ideas?
Anon
What are the problems with your reopening plan?
If you are in a position to recruit or hire, work on outreach to less traditional candidates, universities with higher numbers of minorities, minority professional groups.
Anonymous
Not the original poster but My reopening plan originally had secretaries (our only back employees are support staff) returning to work in cubs. I asked that they be permitted to use offices if they want, since we have many unused offices, and that Request was granted pretty easily.
I also consistently push to hire more interns and to make sure our summer associate hiring is diverse. It’s a slow thing but at least now we make an effort to sponser local law school events from all sorts of different groups and get our name out to A diverse field of candidates.
I don’t think this is perfect or enough, but I think there’s real value to doing what we can.
Anon
That’s it’s extremely rushed, haphazard, and poorly considered. One issue is that all the senior people have offices, the rest of us have cubes, and the assumptions in the “plan” (if you can call a hasty email a plan) don’t consider the worse impact of mask non-compliance on the cube-dwellers.
Anonymous
This is definitely a place where you can use your privilege to help. Can they add plexiglass dividers to the cubicles like they have in stores?
Helping ppl you work with have a better return to work experience is definitely a useful contribution.
Anon
This is what I was driving at with my question at 10:08.
Labeling a reopening plan as “problematic” and highlighting its potentially racial impact is not helpful. It’s really not. What you need to do is to be able to explain why it’s bad and how to fix it. “For those of us in offices, it is easy to stay safe; however, the people who works in cubes are at a high risk of transmission of illnesses. Could we install Plexiglass dividers, do an alternating schedule so they are only in half time, and be flexible with WFH for those who have medically vulnerable family members?”
Anon
That report button is awfully easy to accidentally hit while scrolling on mobile. I did not mean to report this, sorry.
Anon
We’re looking ahead to our next vacation (obviously pending lots of factors at this point). We’re considering Hawaii, but open to any tropical destination. Budget (not including flights) is $2,500 – $3,000, and we’d like to stay for a week to 10 days. 2 adults, no kids. All inclusive preferred. Where should we go?
Anon
I don’t think there are AIs in Hawaii, and unless you’re traveling way off-season your budget for Hawaii sounds a little tight for 10 days (unless you’re happy in a motel or lower-end hotel). If you like AIs, I would look at the Rivieria Maya in Mexico – there are tons, at all kinds of budgets, and the area is gorgeous.
cat socks
I think that budget will be a bit of a stretch for a week in Hawaii. If you’re looking for an all inclusive, then check out Mexico. A lot of AIs in Cancun, but other areas to consider are Playa Del Carmen, Akumal and Tulum.
Never too many shoes...
The El Dorado resorts are amazing (the Casitas and the Sensimar) or, if you want quiet, the Blue Diamond Luxury Boutique cannot be beat.
Anonymous
Oops accidentally just hit “Report comment”, please ignore
Anonymous
DH and I have been to several AI-friendly destinations and decided Puerto Vallarta is our favorite and the place we keep returning to. Our best trip ever was to the Hyatt Ziva in PV. Tripadvisor has really good info.
anon
Hawaii is going to be tough (food, etc. are really very expensive in Hawaii given how everything has to get flow or boated in from pretty far) on that budget and there aren’t really all-inclusive in Hawaii.
Cancun/Rivera Maya has a lot of good all inclusive options around that price point, including several with adults only options if you want to embrace the no kids theme. Jamaica and the DR also have lots of good options around that price.
ANon
I don’t think there are really any AL’s in the US, no? I’ve often wondered if they were illegal because of the basically open bar…? I honestly have no idea, but have always wondered.
Anon
I don’t think they’re illegal. Club Med has a Florida location and I know of a few other non-chain AIs like Blackberry Farm in Tennessee. They are definitely rare though, and I don’t fully understand why.
Anon
I’ve already reported a comment without meaning to just by scrolling (mobile). Sorry, Kat! Sometimes I hit the reply button too, but I just cancel it. I’ll try to be more careful.
FFS
Yeah, I feel like that was one of the reasons they got rid of the Report option when they tried it out a few years ago. Lots of mistaken reports, but I don’t think they pay attention unless a lot of people are reporting.
Sadie
Yeah I think when they rolled it out in a comment somewhere Kat said they were going to focus on comments with multiple reports (ie, comments that are clearly problematic to at least a portion of this community rather than just one person being in a snit about a comment)
Anon
But now after a report, it says flagged? So there can’t be multiple reports
Lilliet
I’m happy to see this update back! But agree with mobile scrolling it would be an easy mistake to make.
Anon
Yes, sorry to have reported a post by mistake as well! Relocating the report button on mobile would be helpful :) Thanks!
anon
or make it a two-step process. Click once, then show a confirm report button to click a second time.
Anon
It would help if the report button had a confirm / cancel option.
no
Any quilters out there? I’m trying to up my game a bit since I have all this time on the weekends now. I’m finding picking a backing to be the most difficult part. I like using flannel but the wide flannels are often boring and 42 inch require piecing together. Suggestions?
Anonymous
I use Minky on lap quilts. It’s 58″ wide and doesn’t require piecing on most lap quilts. It also gives the quilt a bit more weight, which I like.
Anonymous
Hi fellow quilter! I live in the U.K. and have only used one Moda flannel as they are super expensive here. I’ve seen a lot of American websites suggest using patterned flannel flat sheets? I’m a sucker for a nice back and often end up spending a fortune so I’m always watching for nice prints on offer.
no
I did try sheets twice, but the weight just felt wrong to me. Maybe I need to spend more money on nice ones.
Anonymous
I second Minky because it is so soft. I actually buy clearance flannel sheets for this. Always big enough and can usually get some fun prints. Then I use the material in the pillow cases in the quilt somewhere to make the back match a bit…
Quilting
If you have scraps from the quilt top, can you run that through the middle of the flannel when putting them together and make a pieced back? I’ve done that before with non-flannel backs to use up fabric and it usually works well.
no
Oh I like this! I wouldn’t have to spend so much time trying to match the back to the front then either.
Anon
If you’re ever been fired or pushed out off a job (or left because you knew it was coming), did you ever fully “get over it.” Today is my 5 year anniversary at my new job. By all objective measures it’s good — nice bosses, good money (less than the prior job but also in a lower COL city), got me out of NYC where I didn’t want to stay long term; except I don’t like the work as much. I should be happy and I still find myself thinking of what might have been even though rationally I know I don’t want to be any place I’m not wanted. Ever have those lingering feelings after a job ends even years later? I wonder if it’s because that was my first real job.
AFT
I’ve left two jobs with baggage but powered by my own steam (once after a bad review, the other after non-promotion) – and if I think about it, I still get annoyed/hurt. I don’t really think about it much, though, and now that I’m in a position I like better, I can have a good/social relationship with the people who were responsible. Would it be helpful to you to look for jobs that are more in line with your former role?
Anonymous
I got fired from my first job where I was a stick in the mud who refused to execute unethical directives. That was several years ago and I am still not over it. It was a really toxic and abusive environment and I get triggered easily, I honestly think I have a form of PTSD from it. But it still hurts that I was fired, even if it was for honorable reasons. I haven’t let it go.
Anonymous
It’s been a little over a year for me and I never felt regret over anything except the steady decent paycheck. I didn’t make any growth at that job in 7 years. Nothing in my.life isn’t better now except my bank account and I expect to fix that over two years.
Thanks, It Has Pockets!
I got terminated from my first job too, and while I’m still not happy with how they handled it, I am glad they cut me loose because the reality is, I wasn’t happy there.
Anon
I was recruited last week by a “name brand” for a tech job in NYC. I turned down the interview because it was onsite (which is unnecessary and old-fashioned in my field), and the commute would have been over four hours per day. Moving is not currently an option.
Twenty years ago I would have pushed through and hustled for a few years to get that name on my resume, but I’m just not in that place anymore. I know that an interview wasn’t a guarantee of anything, and I know the situation would have been miserable and unsustainable, but damn, am I second-guessing myself. My Type A brain is trying to cannibalize my desire for work-life balance.
Anonymous
Well done! (and congrats on being recruited.)
Tell your Type A brain that it’s no longer the Sole Proprietor of your life, and that your heart, emotional intelligence, maturity, wisdom, general smarts, happiness monitor, and gut also get to weigh in on any decisions.
Anon
Over four hours per day? I complain when a weekend trip’s drive takes more than 3.5 hours. That we do a few times a year. I would view it as if they offered you a job in….Texas. Or some other place that was literally not possible, if moving is not. That in my mind is how impossible a 4 hour commute would be.
anne-on
Was it IBM by any chance? They are recruiting people HARD and that whole ‘everyone in the office all the time thing’ was hurting them before all of this, there was a LOT of talk about how unpopular it was and how hard it made it for them to find candidates. I think with the unemployment rate as high as it is they’ll obviously be able to fill roles more easily but I think you’re 100% not alone in that people are just not willing to suffer long commutes as much now that we have ‘proved’ working at home works very well for a lot of office workers.
Anon for this IBM question
Didn’t IBM just lay off like 7000 employees last week?
Anonymous
I encourage you to let this go. Not interviewing for a job you don’t want is a good thing.
Anon
Who’s on your WOC short list for VP? Where would you place Warren? Would she be better off (more powerful, influential, etc.) left in the Senate or as a cabinet member?
Anon
Kamala Harris. She was my pick for POTUS from day one.
Anon
Same, although someone mentioned Val Demmings above and that also sounds fabulous. I really admire Elizabeth Warren but he will win MA no matter and I don’t see a super liberal woman helping him in the Rust Belt where a lot of people are generally sexist and scared of the far left (I live in one of the key swing states). I think she would be much better off in the cabinet.
Anon
I commented above: Rep. Val Demings (D-FL) – WOC, retired police chief.
Other choices I really, really like: Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) – Thai-American, wounded Army veteran – checks that GOP box; Rep. Sylvia Garcia (D-TX) – Latina, outstanding thoughtful, experienced former state lawmaker, well-respected in Texas (all those electoral votes)
I think the big national names have too much baggage for a lot of voters.
Anonymous
I will stan Tammy Duckworth forever. I haven’t heard her name in the mix but I would be so pleased.
Senior Attorney
Same here!
Carmen Sandiego
I cannot overstate how much I like Tammy Duckworth. I would love for her to be the VP pick.
Anonymous
Yeah I am an IL resident so I am biased but I think Tammy would be literally perfect. Also, unlike Warren and some other potential picks, she will reliably be replaced by a Dem in the senate.
Aunt Jamesina
Yup, another Illinois resident here who would love this. She’s quite popular here.
anon
My list pretty much begins and ends with Kamala Harris. She was my #1 for president, so she’s my #1 for VP. I know her history as a prosecutor raises challenges, but everyone has challenges and I don’t think that’s a fatal flaw from an electability perspective.
I only recently learned that Keisha Lance Bottoms has been considered. I like her *very* much (am an ATL resident) but she’s a first-term mayor so she’s low on experience and was low on name recognition. Her public profile has certainly gotten higher recently, so maybe that elevates her into a viable option…hard to say.
Val Demings I feel like isn’t a real option – she has extremely low name recognition and frankly, if Kamala Harris faces criticism as an ex-prosecutor, I think Demings will face tons more as an ex-chief of police.
I’m sure someone will talk about Stacey Abrams but even though I supported her, voted for her, and donated to her when she ran for governor, I’m not in favor of her as a VP pick. She’s never held statewide office (and she wasn’t particularly high-profile when she was state senate minority leader) and it feels like since she lost the gubernatorial election she’s spent the intervening years mostly just angling to become VP. We had an open senate seat she would definitely have been the strongest candidate for and she didn’t run. Having a Black female senator from GA would have been huge and she would have been a really strong candidate – that lost her a ton of local goodwill.
Basically, I see far more enthusiasm for Abrams among liberal white people from other states than I do from any category of voter in her home state, and that’s not a great sign.
I would put Warren nowhere on the VP list. I don’t think she adds anything from an electability perspective.
Anon
Stacy Abrams would be a disaster. She’s a darling of liberal coastal elites, she’s exactly the kind of person Biden does NOT need running with him in WI, MI, OH.
Kamala is my pick too. I think a Biden-Harris ticket would be as close to unbeatable as you can get.
anon
Being from CA, I wonder how much Kamala Harris helps Biden win other states.
Anonymous
Val Demings. I’d leave Warren where she is.
Of Counsel
Yes – if he picks Warren the Democrats lose her Senate seat and we cannot afford that.
Anom
Is Kamala Harris able to fire up the left side of the party? I really wanted to see her get the nomination and would be way excited if she got the nomination, but I’m not terribly leftist (although I would also have been thrilled with Warren getting the nomination). I sincerely hope that Warren gets a cabinet position, but we desperately need a WOC as vp. And preferably black. A white passing Latina is not good enough unless she can really prove her bona fides. I am really in favor of a vp candidate who will make the Bernie portion of the party feel heard.
Anonymous
If you’re a leftist who can’t manage to get fired up about a black woman VP then I’m not interested in catering to you because you’re probably not voting no matter what happens unless we appoint Bernie. These people are loud but not numerous.
Anon
I mean I’m a leftist who will vote for Biden but I’m not fired up about Kamala. The fact that she’s a black woman does not negate her criminal justice track record.
Anon
I would say that if you’re a leftist whose first priority isn’t to get Trump out of office, you’re already a lost cause.
Pragmatic lefties will get behind Kamala, and her “tough on crime” stats will help convince moderates, whose votes are the ones that really count.
Jess
You know that key to leftists is that the candidate not just be a member of an oppressed group, but actually advocate structural change right? I don’t care about having a beer with the candidates, and I care about their agenda. It’s insane that some republic proposals involve more money going to people than Democrat’s proposals.
I have yet to hear a reason to vote for Biden that isn’t just “vote blue no matter who.” The Democratic needs to give people a reason to want to support them. I’ll vote Biden, but that’s because I’m white & privileged with a graduate degree, polls with no lines and free bagels and no family responsibilities and a flexible work schedule.
Anon
I still like Amy Klobuchar. A lot of voters (especially in the most important states) are racist and/or sexist and are not going to be accepting of a WOC. A Black or Latino man probably would have been my first choice for VP, given the deeply-rooted sexism that the 2016 election laid bare, but given that Biden has already. committed to picking a woman I think it would be safer to choose a white woman. Amy Klobuchar is from the Midwest and can connect with voters in the key states, and her status as a former prosecutor will make her appealing to Romney-style Republicans who are horrified by Trump but also horrified by the far left’s calls to dramatically scale back law enforcement and immigration restrictions.
anonchicago
This x1,000. The goal needs to be winning the election which is done by appealing to racist, sexist, old white people in the midwest. Women senators from MA and CA are not going to check that box and we’ll have a repeat of the nonsense news that came out about Hillary.
As much as I’d like to see a woman in the white house, we need to restore sanity first. By whatever legal means necessary.
Anon
Klobuchar is getting a ton of bad press right now since she didn’t prosecute the officer who killed George Floyd when she had the chance.
Anonymous
This isn’t right, there have been a lot of misleading click bait titles that suggest this, but if you actually read one, the case was handled by her successor. It went to the Grand Jury but did not get past them to an indictment.
Anonymous
It’s not true but the stain is still there.
Z
It came to light recently that Klobuchar declined to prosecute the police officer that killed George Floyd when she was the county DA. Several complaints had been made against him for misconduct, she didn’t go after him, and he killed someone. I think that she’s done for.
Anonymous
Isn’t it still true that the candidate most favored by Black women is Elizabeth Warren? What we need is someone who will drive voters to the polls, regardless of whether she herself is a WOC. I am more of Harris fan than a Warren fan, but I want a win. Of course I am not privy to any specific breakdown of numbers in the most competitive states, which is certainly relevant.
Anon
Anyone who would make a fine president, since I expect Mr. Biden to die of old age while in office.
Anonymous
Chicagoans/others in cities where widespread looting is happening, anyone considering leaving the city for a few days? My in laws are in the suburbs. I don’t think we’re actually at risk really but the civil unrest and curfews etc is making me incredibly anxious.
Anonymous
I live right in the heart of the rioting and looting in my city and I am very anxious. Residents have been signing up for round the clock shifts to keep an eye on the entrances of the building in case somebody tries to break in or start a fire. Not to confront anyone, just to keep an eye on things and call 911 if needed. I just heard there is another protest planned for tonight. I support the protests. And also, I am frightened living here right now. I don’t know what to do.
Anonymous
Leave if you want but just acknowledge you don’t need to.
Anonymous
BUT we don’t know what she needs and what the situation is or will be. She should go with her gut. In my city, protesters clogged a route to the hospital. Not good.
anon
How on earth do you know what she does or doesn’t need to do? I live in Philadelphia, where multiple apartments and rowhomes have been set on fire in several different neighborhoods. We’ve had at least one fire fatality so far. As someone else mentioned, our roads are blocked, making safe travel pretty much impossible. Yes, OP, I think leaving until things are less dangerous is wise.
Anonymous
My SIL is in Minneapolis and there has been damage on her block. She and her family left for one night and then returned hoping to protect their home. The rest of the family thinks this is nuts and is begging her to leave again.
My husband has a friend in our city whose car was vandalized and who saw armed KKK members on his street. We invited him to come stay with us, but he declined. I think he is nuts.
So basically, yes, I would go now. Don’t wait until the situation is so dangerous that you can’t get out safely.
HousecounseI
No. You have hit a nerve. There is nothing happening in the vast majority of the Chicago suburbs. However, there are a million rumors going around that “they” are coming to (fill in the blank with the name of an expensive lily-white suburb). People are posting fake screenshots of fake promises by fake people to come out and attack. I shut down multiple people online yesterday for posting falsely that the Neiman Marcus at Oakbrook was “destroyed” and that our neighborhood Whole Foods was on fire. Completely false. Fake reports are being made up to justify racism. I had to scold my own mother on a version of the Neiman Marcus rumor.
Unless they’re in a place where there is verified looting, and by verified I mean is it in the newspapers or in a press release by the local PD, or have they seen it with their own eyes, I would tell them to stay put. Don’t try to get into the Loop while the bridges are up and the trains are shut down, but if the grocery store is open, and your COVID-19 tolerance allows it, go.
Anonymous
Housecounsel, I think you misunderstood my post. I live downtown, there is looting on my block for the past 2 nights. Police are completely outnumbered and non-responsive. I am considering leaving to stay with my in laws who live in the suburbs, because as you said, there is nothing happening there.
Anonymous
If there has been looting on your block you need to leave now, in daylight, while things are relatively calm. What happens if there’s a fire or even if the fire alarm just goes off? I would not want to evacuate onto the street in the darkness and confusion. The fact that you are an innocent bystander will not protect you against either the police or the protestors. If you have children, it’s even more important to leave.
HousecounseI
I did misunderstand and I apologize. I thought your in-laws in the suburbs were asking if they should flee to somewhere far away. If you are in the heart of the looting in the city, yes, I think you should leave if you can. Again, I am sorry. I am extremely keyed up about this and I read too fast.
Anonymous
I think she is saying that she wants to get out of the city and go to her in-laws’ in the suburbs, not that she thinks the suburbs are at risk.
Anonymous
How close would you be comfortable getting? 1 mile? 2? I live close to work, which had windows broke. And firecrackers thrown inside at people last night. Not Chicago but another big city.
Anonymous
Even if you’re not that close, all day and all night its constant sirens, helicopters overhead, random sounds of explosions. It honestly feels like a war zone.
LaurenB
“I shut down multiple people online yesterday for posting falsely that the Neiman Marcus at Oakbrook was “destroyed”
1) Oak Brook is hardly a lily-white suburb, unless southeast Asians have suddenly turned white. It is affluent, I’ll grant you that, the horror.
2) I drove right by the N-M at Oak Brook less than 2 hours ago. The entire mall is barricaded and the front end of the store is boarded up with repairmen there. Would-be looters tried to throw a brick against the window but it failed to break through. It’s a shame that the center is closed when these stores *just* opened up a few days ago and the shopkeepers and restaurants were optimistic.
3) 50 people … 50 people! … entered the suburban Best Buy 2 miles from my house at 4 pm on Sunday and looted it. So please don’t play the “there’s nothing going on” card.
Anon
I’m not sure where you live, but Housecounsel was largely right. I’m in the NW Chicago suburbs with family near Brookfield and the amount of local FB posts where a friend of a friend of a friend warned someone’s uncle “they’re coming this way” was out of hand.
I haven’t seen verified reports on a suburban Best Buy being looted, but I’ll trust that you’re correct. Regardless, the vast majority of the suburbs were undisturbed this weekend other than preventative store closings. Yes, it’s a shame centers are closed and looting is occuring downtown and getting mixed up with the protest, but it’s unacceptable that fear-mongering got more local social media attention than the actual killings that preceded it.
Anon
I did just see the verified report of the Best Buy. My BIL and SIL live there. It does seem like it’s targeted more to strip malls near a highway vs residential areas.
hi hi hi
No, this (Chicago) is my home.
anon
I’m in Chicago, sort of gold coast. I am planning on staying put. I think Lori and team are trying to take appropriate action, balancing need for peaceful protest with protecting critical areas. I think the curfews were a good call, along with trying to manage where people are. I may be missing it, but I am not seeing residential buildings being hit. So, yes I get a bit anxious with the sirens and alerts, but we will get through it.
LaurenB
Two family members in Lakeview, one in Hyde Park. I have asked all to stay in their apartments for the next few days (which they are thankfully able to do – one is not working, one works from home, one is a student). I was supposed to go down and visit one on Wednesday and I texted this: “Let’s wait and see how the riots play out before we commit to visiting on Wednesday.” Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d ever have to text such a statement.
This scares me far more than Covid – Covid’s a virus, it doesn’t have ill intent; some of these rioters / looters clearly *do* have ill intent. The stores near me in the ‘burbs were looted — yeah, stealing a big-screen TV and shutting down the small businesses that just reopened helps absolutely nothing and is going to hand the election straight to DJT this fall.
Anon
My friend and her teenage son have offered to come over in a few weeks to help me move a few pieces of furniture to another room. What would you get for them as a thanks? Bottle of wine? That doesn’t really help out son.
Anon
Schedule it for the evening/happy hour and serve dinner or apps?
cat socks
Restaurant gift card. Maybe different ones for the friend and son.
Anonymous
$20 cash for son and wine for friend.
Anon
Perfect. That’s what I’ll do. Thanks, everyone!
Anonymous
This for sure.
HousecounseI
Cash or a gift card for a place that he frequents. Unless he is a very unusual teenager he won’t relish the idea of even more time with Mom’s friend, even for good home cooking.
Anonymous
I’d personally be really uncomfortable if you paid my son for this, or gave us substantial gift cards. Moving a couple of pieces of furniture from one room to another is a fairly small thing and fits into the normal give-and-take of friendship, and that’s what I’d want to be demonstrating to my son — we do stuff for our friends, simply because they’re our friends. Maybe send us home with a bag of cookies or brownies from a really great local bakery?
Now, if they have to drive for 50 minutes to get there, and have to spend a whole evening taking down beds and then putting them together again, flipping and hauling mattresses and box springs, taking apart heavy dressers with stuffed drawers, emptying huge bookcases and entertainment center and cords and equipment and moving setting it all back up again, that’s different.
Anon
I wouldn’t do anything – that’s a small favor. I’d just say thank you, maybe offer a drink, and help them out in the future with similar requests. I’d feel awkward if I spent 5 mins moving furniture and was given a gift in return.
Anonymous
say thank you and cover lunch or dinner – this is not that big of a deal and i would also feel weird if i were your friend and money was changing hands
Ruggable?
Does anyone have experience with Ruggable? Have you liked it? Does it hold up and wash as well as they claim?
After scrubbing the living room rug again this weekend, I am over traditional rugs in high traffic areas with 2 dogs and soon an infant.
Clementine
I have it in a kid room. It’s not as plush and soft as a ‘real’ rug, but… I LOVE IT. It’s in a kid room. You wanna know what i could do when kiddo puked??
Throw it in the washer! In my normal sized front loader. It’s honestly lovely and functional. Not sure how I would like a runner as the corners flip up a bit, but would recommend for kid rooms.
CountC
I have two and, if I needed any other rugs, would buy more Ruggables. I have washed the one in my living room 5 – 6 times and think it still looks good. I have washed the newer one in my office/dog room once, looks brand new.
My only struggle with them is that, as a person living alone, they can be hard to get back on the velcro pads without a lot of maneuvering and resetting because they do really stick to the pad! The larger they are, the hard this is for me. However, it’s a price of admission I am willing to pay because they can be washed in the washing machine!
Lily
We have two. They’re great for entry ways/hallways with lots of foot traffic, but they are not at all plush or comfortable to walk on, so I would not put one in a bedroom or living room. Maybe a dining room if you have messy eaters, maybe a playroom or basement. The corners do not always lay perfectly flat which is annoying but so far has not caused any trips. Basically, I wholeheartedly endorse for an entryway because they’re so easy to wash and come out looking great.
Anon
They don’t feel like real rugs, more like slightly thicker cloth over a pad. If you want that real ‘rug’ feeling you don’t get it, but if you want the appearance of the rug without the high maintenance, it’s pretty nice.
Anonymous
I have one for my family room. Agree it doesn’t feel like a real rug but it serves its purpose well in my family room. I have to admit that I rarely actually wash it because mine is quite large and it is bit of a pain to move the furniture and pull it up and go through the process (although obviously a lot easier than an actual rug would be). It curls up on one of the ends, which is annoying. I’d buy it again though, all that said.
KatieWolf
Piggybacking- does anyone have the 8×10 ruggable and has washed it in a standard washing machine? That’s what I’m looking at but I am skeptical that a rug that size would be able to be laundered at home.
CountC
I wash my 6’x9″ in my standard front load and it’s fine. They are not thick and compress up into a ball easily.
Anon
Suggestion:can you please find some way to better visually distinguish between the words reply and report under each post? Writing has been a pain today and half the posts are apologizing for incidental reporting… Thank you!
Anon
Any tips for remote onboarding for a new job? My manager scheduled a get-to-know meeting that turned into “welcome and now here’s an overview of our function”. I get that the manager is overwhelmed and I am here to help, but some rapport-building would have been nice. I can swim on my own despite being dropped into the deep end, but it’s not feeling great today.
Sloan Sabbith
I remote-onboarded an intern for the first time last week and it was rough. I have the feeling it was also rough for her, although I tried hard to make it welcoming. I don’t think most people know how to create that connection remotely with someone they don’t know while also trying to remember to tell the person all those things that you could show them in the office or that they’d be able to ask you about as they worked. No advice, but I’m hopeful other people have some.
Anon
Any suggestions for where to find a full bed (preferably with built-in storage) for a toddler? I do not want a twin bed, and I’ve had bad experiences at Pottery Barn/PB Kids so I would prefer to avoid that store.
Anonymous
Ikea has nice wood platform beds with drawers underneath. Not specifically for toddlers, but doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re looking for.
Ruth
L.L. Bean has historically had nice, solid wood beds with storage drawers for a reasonable price.