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Updated: Jan 5, 2024 246 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Floral Jacquard Keyhole Blouse

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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A woman wearing a light purple top and jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Now that the glitz of the holiday season is officially past us, I’m looking for all the bright colors I can get my hands on to get me through the rest of the winter. This orchid-colored floral top from Loft would help elevate my mood on even the dreariest of days. I would pair it with navy or icy blue for a gorgeous winter look.

The top is on sale for $37 at Loft and comes in regular sizes XS-XL and petite sizes XS-L.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anonymous

    I have moved into a place with a very white bathroom with a glass shower door. Everything feels like it looks so dirty, so fast, despite cleaning it on the schedule I did in my prior apartment. Any tips? Favorite products?

    • Anonymous

      Keep a squeegee in the shower and do the door when you’re done, before getting out. That helps with the streaks.

    • Anne-on

      The method daily shower spray is the best thing I’ve found to keep the glass looking good in between deep cleanings.

    • anonshmanon

      If you have buildup (might also be that your new place has different water), I can recommend the scrubby brushes that you stick on a power drill. Saves a ton of time over doing it with elbow grease.

  2. Post yesterday about the bad gyn doctor

    Catching up on yesterdays thread about the GYN who refused to give a HPV vaccine . . .

    I saw your reply about him being very well-known, well-respected etc. Just an anecdote here, but I also had an experience where a reproductive endocrinologist specializing in my exact issue, best in the city blah blah blah was unconscionably rude. I mentioned an issue I was having and he brushed it off, gave me a prescription but didn’t take it seriously or actually diagnose it.

    The issue came back a year later and I couldn’t make myself go back to him because of how obnoxious he had been. I found a doctor from a good university hospital, who was solid but not as well-known or specific. He diagnosed the issue very systematically, made no odd comments, and did the procedure to fix it. It was max 2 months from first appointment to situation fully solved. And that previous doctor didn’t even try. In fact I found out that the prescription he gave me isn’t even a reasonable first response – no idea why he went with that.

    • Anon

      Second this. I went to my most recent gyn with very low expectations. He’s a million years old and has his affiliation with a local crisis preg center mentioned in his bio. But, he was the one with availability and took my insurance.
      He not only was on board with my desire for a hysterectomy, he shook trees to get me through the bureaucracy and get scheduled quickly, AND brought up getting the HPV vaccine when he saw that I was in the age range for it to be recommended/covered (I was too old when it first came out, and it’s since expanded). I was shocked at how awesome he was.

      • Post yesterday about the bad gyn doctor

        Yes – the first doctor I went to was a younger man, and after that I thought I only wanted a woman doctor. However the only doctor available at that practice that day was an old man – and he’s been the best.

        • Seventh Sister

          I’ve seen a handful of male gyns and with one exception, they were quite empathetic and not at all condescending. My regular gyn is a woman who’s a pretty “suck it up buttercup” type, which I don’t really mind/sort of enjoy, and I expected more of the same when I had to meet her partner. Instead, he was quite solicitous about a side effect I was experiencing and offered a couple of solutions that weren’t, “come back in a few weeks if this is still happening.”

    • Smokey

      This was a long time ago (late 70’s). When I was in my late teens, I went to a gynecologist, maybe my first time ever, and asked for birth control. He refused because I wasn’t married or in a steady relationship. I remember him saying something like, “well, it’s not as if you’re going to kill yourself if you get pregnant”. I was too young and easily intimidated to push back or file a complaint. Needless to say, I never went back to him and have seen only female gynecologists since. The thread yesterday reminded me of that experience.

    • Anonymous

      There’s a reason there’s a compiled list of gynecologists willing to perform sterilization on women without those same ridiculous hoops on the internet. Women’s health needs are too often dismissed/ignored, especially by men.

      • Anonymous

        Yep, I had so many awful obgyns who did not believe in bodily autonoy I had to use the list to get sterilized. The whole experience was so dehumanizing.

      • Anon

        Last I checked, Nancy’s Nook on FB was in part a list of doctors who know jack all about endometriosis. Seems like it’s rare to get competent care without effort when it’s women’s health!

  3. Anon

    How do other companies with salaried employees handle brief periods of time off during the day?

    My company just started a new policy that any personal time during 8-5 (minus an hour for lunch) needs to be taken as a 2 hour chunk of PTO. I’m salaried and routinely start at 7:30, stay late if needed, log in briefly on the weekends (all for work flow reasons). I’m so annoyed they’re now trying to nickel and dime my time.

      • Anon

        Like at lunch, do you badge in and out? Have a time limit? Or otherwise get tracked? I go to lunch at 11 (starving by then, even with desk snacks) but some people go as late as 1.

        Is not everything possibly lunch?

        Maybe different story if it is lunch + a spin class.

        • Anon

          Also, if you have a doc appointment, it doesn’t seem unfair since the total away from desk at key hours may be 2 hours. Could you not make it up by staying later? IDK — that would work for my job but possibly not for every job. My teacher friends have to do this but in half day increments, so this seems more humane than that.

          • AIMS

            I think if your job requires you to be present like a teacher or a doctor, that makes sense. If my job requires me to do 8 hours of work and that work can largely be done within a certain but not exact time window, I would be very annoyed to have to take PTO because I wanted to run some errands during the work day and planned to either come in early or leave late to get it done.

    • Marketiere

      We don’t account for brief time off during the day. Honestly, unless they’re going to be out all morning or afternoon – I don’t worry about my direct reports being out at all. For salaried employees though, I still don’t have them use PTO.

      When I worked in engineering, all of our time had to be accounted for in 15 minute increments because it was billable back to the customer. If your hours are billable, then the PTO could make more sense if they don’t want to cover that time as an overhead expense.

      • Anonymous

        Not all working hours are billable to a client though. This policy just encourages over billing. Maybe it’s different in engineering than law. I know of a law firm that required its paralegals account for 8 hours a day either as billable time or PTO, no nonbillable codes were permitted. If I’m sitting at my desk waiting for work then I’m not taking PTO for that. I’m assuming that people just billed clients for things that aren’t billable rather than using their own PTO time for hours they’re at work.

        • Anon

          There’s typically a code for non billable overhead. It doesn’t mean every minute is being billed to a client, just that every minute has to be accounted for.

        • Marketiere

          Yes – sorry. To clarify the time spent working on non-billable items would be charged to a separate overhead code.

      • anon

        Salaried engineer with billable projects here. We do have to track our hours with weekly timesheets (year end bonus is based on annual billed hours), but we’re allowed to flex our hours. If I have a dentist appointment in the morning I can make up for it by working later in the evening, no need to use PTO unless I want to.

    • Anon

      My company does not care, and I would be super insulted if that were to become the culture. I do excellent work and get excellent reviews. Sometimes I step out for a medical appointment, an errand, or honestly just to get fresh air. I routinely start early and end late. If my boss starting micromanaging my time like that, I would quit.

      • Anon

        +1 this is me minus the working late. I do have to complete a timesheet because I work for a federal government contractor, but my boss does not care when I work or where I work as long as I am either available when she calls or call her back in a timely manner. It has never been an issue, and I would be insulted at being treated like a child. I too, would look for a new job.

        • Anon

          I suppose I should add that I can flex my time basically however I want, as long as I get my 40 hours in a week and am reasonably responsive it doesn’t matter.

      • JD

        Ditto. My company can only log 8 hour FTO/PTO for full time AMR employees. The general policy is that if you can make at least half the day, no need to take FTO. If you were to have more frequent appointments, that would probably become a discussion with your manager. I’m in a customer facing group that even has assigned phone hours for salaried employees, and we can be quite flexible overall. If an employee starts the day but calls out sick midday, we don’t even require them to take FTO (but a manager would be monitoring to make sure that doesn’t become a habit). The assumption is people are meeting the work requirements for their role and some appointments are expected.

    • Anon

      I’ve always been salaried but nickel and dimed for short time off. However, you can take 1 hour of PTO.

      Now that I’m a Fed, I’m on a maxi flex schedule so it’s easy to adjust as needed.

    • Anon

      That would really annoy me. I don’t take PTO unless I expect to be offline for the better part of a half day. Things that take 1-2 hours (like doctor’s appointments and kid’s school events) I don’t use PTO for.

    • Cora

      My company doesn’t care as long as you make up the time, either that day or later in the week. Agree that its nickle and diming.

    • Anon

      This is ridiculous. Does one 10-minute phone call to your doctor’s office require two hours of PTO? What about an extra bathroom break when you’re not feeling well? This isn’t going to work for them.

      • Anon

        I find that employers tend to view going “offsite” differently than “homing from work”. No one has ever called about making a phone call / booking personal travel / paying a bill on company time, but every employer I”ve had has made us use PTO when leaving the office.

    • Anon

      Federal employee here. Different groups in the same agency have handled it differently, as a brief absence during the day is AWOL and can mean our health insurance wouldn’t cover us if we were in an accident, as we’re told. Currently we can earn a few credit hours so they can document the approved absence without using our annual leave. Can you push back as a group? How can they justify a 2 hour leave charge for a half hour absence. How does lunch work? Can you take an early/late lunch (e.g. 10:30 or 2?)

      • PolyD

        Also a federal employee and I have never heard of this – insurance not covering you if you are not “on leave” if you step away for an hour or so.

        We have a lot of employees who stop work for an hour or so to pick up kids or whatever, and I am pretty sure they are not using leave every time they do this.

        • Anon

          I guess it depends on your schedule? Everyone at my office is Maxiflex but we all set up our normal schedules differently (4 10s, 9 9s, 5 8s). But, since we’re on Maxiflex, we have a lot of leeway for things that come up during the day.

      • Anon

        Employee benefits attorney here-health insurance not covering you if you are in an accident is hogwash. I have no opinion on the rest, but that is not how anyone’s health insurance works.

        • Anon

          I think they mean worker’s comp insurance? That’s tied to whether or not you were performing job duties.

        • Anon

          I’m not saying it’s accurate, just that it was part of the rationale some supervisors used to require an approved leave request before we took 15 minutes to run an errand, unless it was around lunch time. Even if we worked 60 hours a week. The ones who were more flexible had no such concerns. I assume the actual rules strictly required leave to be taken.

    • Anon

      In my company, this type of clock-watching is diametrically opposed to how salaried roles function. And the Dept of Labor has strict guidelines regarding which roles are exempt or non-exempt and precisely what that means. Individual companies cannot make up the rules on their own.

      • Anon

        While it is accurate to say that the clock watching is inconsistent with FLSA exempt employee status, enforcement is u derstandably focused on non-exempt employees who are being shortchanged on items such as hours worked, minimum wage and overtime.

    • anon

      I know a lot of people don’t like unlimited time off, but it works well at my company. I can cake a couple of hours off during the day for a doctor’s appointment, etc. and not have to worry about tracking it or making up time. I still fill out a time sheet and log my time off. As long as I get my work done, it’s not a problem.

      OP – you are justified in being annoyed.

    • anon

      It depends on a lot of factors. Do you have a generous leave bank to draw from? My employer also requires us to log our time off during the day, but I don’t feel like I’m losing that much because our leave banks are pretty deep. The mandatory 2-hour thing is annoying, but I’ve heard of worse.

      My guess is that they needed to keep closer tabs on leave time because of people abusing the system, and for that, you have my sympathies.

    • buffybot

      As a salaried employee, I have never worked for a company where short breaks for doctor’s appts, kid related errands (like going to a school event) or otherwise were treated as something that required PTO. I’ve worked for a law firm (so, understandable – they’ll get you on the billable hours one way or another) and two major financial firms. Then again, I’m regularly on early morning or late night calls because of international time zones, because the work gets done when it needs to get done. I don’t limit my working hours to 9-5 (or even 8-6) so you’d better let me live my life — and I feel the same about the people I manage.

    • No Problem

      In your shoes, I’d discuss this in detail with my manager. If you work 8 hours despite being out for an hour for an appointment (because you worked earlier in the morning and later at night to make up for it), would you need to take 2 hours of PTO? What if you were gone for an hour and still worked 7 hours? Etc, etc. If you are told that you will still need to take 2 hours of PTO, be clear with your boss that moving forward you will not work more than 6 hours on a day when you need to be away for any period during 8-5 (let them understand the impacts that will have on workflow). Ideally, your boss will understand how ridiculous this is and talk to their boss and/or the powers that be about it. Like another poster said, this policy might also run afoul of state and federal wage laws for nonexempt workers.

      I am an exempt employee who works in a company where we bill our hours, so any week with fewer than 40 hours requires PTO in there somewhere (I could work 4 10-hour days and put nothing on my timesheet for the 5th day and be totally fine).

      • Anon

        This is the answer. I worked for a manager who required me to take 4 hours of PTO if I needed to leave even five minutes early. In retrospect, I wish I had nailed his butt to the wall on that and peaced out at 1 pm.

    • anecdata

      My company is very unusually butts-in-seats for our industry (tech) : no hybrid allowed, badge tracking in and out, automated email to your skip level manager if you badge in a second after 9 or log less than 45 hrs/week, must account for your time on projects in 30 minute increments (and we’re not billable, this is for internal tracking) — and even we don’t require this. As long as we make up the time in the week, I’d be comfortable taking up to ~2 hrs for a personal errand without telling anyone (like very occasionally – a doctor’s appointment once or twice a year – because we do need to generally be available during core hours)

      • anon for this

        Oh my, that would drive me bananas. At my prior federal agency I had a very strict manager w/r/t time and attendance, anything 15 minutes or more required us to bill leave in 15-minute increments. My current manager couldn’t care less about small gaps – as long as we get our work done, she only wants us to put in if we are taking an entire day of leave. It’s been a bit of cultural whiplash for me.

      • NY CPA

        While we dont have the same level of intensity of butts-in-seats, we also do the internal tracking of time so we have to hit weekly minimums. If I take 2 hrs in the day to go to doctor, have appt, and back, and I dont make it up elsewhere in the week with longer hours, I have to book PTO.

    • Anon

      That’s completely bonkers and I’d raise a huge fuss. If they have performance issues or people abusing the system and doing errands all day long, they need to deal with those individuals. But I’m not taking two hours of PTO to run out and make a return or pick up a prescription for 20 minutes.

    • Anon

      This is how my organization (gov’t, so rules are different) manages nonexempt folks who drive in for just part of a work day. There’s an existing, old FLSA rule that you have to pay people from the moment they start working, and we didn’t want to start paying hourly (nonexempt) employees for commute time if they started work at home then drove in for a meeting. So we say you need to take a break of at least 2-hours to insure the commute time is actually available for personal errands, etc. (We also try not to schedule in-person meetings that start in the middle of a day).
      For our salaried employees, we aren’t as strict but do require at least 80 hours of time (actual work time, or eligible uses of sick or vacation) per pay period. We see it as a public accountability issue. But, the two-hour thing is super weird if you’re otherwise balancing or making up that time … is the policy only for when you don’t have a plan to make it up later?

      Not a great retention strategy and I can’t understand why any employer would want to move in that direction in this labor market.

    • Anonymous

      You should ask about overtime for the 30 minutes in the morning, staying late, etc.

    • Anonymous

      Anything over 2 hours is a 1/2 day PTO. Under 2 hours is a not recorded. Once in a while we need to work overtime so they trust that it all shakes out in the end.

    • Nesprin

      If they require PTO for any time off, then there is no reason whatsoever to work unpaid overtime/weekends.

    • Anon

      I worked for a law firm that tried this. I pointed out it was not consistent with the necessity of working outside of 8-5 (which I regularly did) and they knew how much I was working because I billed in six-minute increments. I also said that if the expectation was that I would work between 8 and 5 and had to take PTO if I had a personal appointment those would be the only hours I would be working. They did not get to expect me to work until midnight one day and then expect me to work 8 to 5 the next.

      They backed off pretty quickly when I told them I worked way more than 40 hours per week on average but if they thought I was going to work 80 hours one week and be at my desk 40 hours the next they were nuts (and I could and would have quit and they knew it). Now I only take PTO if I am going to be out (and I mean not responding to nonemergency emails out) for a full day.

    • Peloton

      > routinely start at 7:30, stay late if needed, log in briefly on the weekends (all for work flow reasons)

      Time to stop doing all of the above. You can say that you understand that the company is now very concerned about ensuring that people are available during core business hours, and you share that concern, so those are the hours you will be working from now on.

      These sorts of policies winnow out talented and hardworking adults. Drive me nuts.

  4. Anon Anon

    What’s your favorite frangrance to wear, either on yourself or smelling on others? (Asked with the understanding that scents are challenging/trigger headaches for lots of people.)

    Mine are:
    -Armani Acqua di Gioia
    -Various Acqua di Parma scents
    -Kiehl’s musk

    • Maudie Atkinson

      When I wear scent, which is not as often as I would personally prefer, I wear Jo Malone No. 154. I bought my first bottle in the wake of my divorce to replace another scent I associated with my ex, and it felt like an extravagance under those circumstances. Now, it’s a nice reminder to treat myself the way I would a dear friend.

    • anon a mouse

      I like heavy florals. My favorite recent purchase was a Tocca fragrance sampler – I really adore several of the scents they make, including Florence, Stella and Belle.

    • Anon

      Serge Lutens Fleur d’oranger. It’s orange blossom, but a little spicier and less floral than other iterations. I’ve been wearing it for years and love it. I love pretty much anything by Serge Lutens.

    • Anon

      I currently like Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Bosca Vanilla. It’s a light citrus vanilla scent. It’s from their Forte line so it has a bit more lasting power but still isn’t a sillage bomb.

      My favorite before this one was Diptyque Kyoto, which is discontinued but is an earthy rose scent. The closest one Diptyque currently offers is Eau Rose EDP (not EDT, which is a different scent.) I also like Fleur de Peau from Diptyque, which has to be worn to be appreciated – it completely changes in the first 30 minutes on skin.

      I have a huge perfume collection because I’m interested (I even went to perfume school for a week!) but honestly I am bad about rotating through my collection and I just gravitate toward my long time favorites instead.

      Oh, another recent favorite is Guerlain Shalimar Millesime Iris – a newish Shalimar Flanker where they dial up the focus on one characteristic note, in this case Iris.

      I also have a sentimental attachment to Une Matin d’Orage EDP from Goutal, which I bought on my first ever trip to Paris. It’s a watery floral – meant to resemble a garden of white flowers after the rain.

    • Anon

      I love white florals. My favourite is Kai. It’s gardenia and smells heavenly. If anyone has white floral perfume recs, please share!

    • AnoNL

      In the last few years, I religiously restock these 4, so that I have them in my fragrance drawer:
      * YSL – Libre
      * Narciso Rodriguez – Musc Noir Rose
      * Chanel – Chance
      * Chloe – Chloe

    • anoncat

      Bulgari Au Thé Blanc. A super comforting, unisex scent that I share with my husband. We discovered it in a hotel who carried their toiletries, where we stayed to celebrate our engagement, so it’s associated with lovely memories.

      • Anon

        I don’t wear scents and for various reasons that is the right approach for me, but I love this story and it sort of makes me want to wear some!

    • Senior Attorney

      My husband bought me some Jimmy Choo I Want Choo perfume last Christmas (a year ago) because he recognized the name from my wedding shoes, and it was an unexpected hit with both of us.

    • Lexi

      Mine are Indult Tihota, Baccarat Rouge and Burberry Her. Have a bunch of others, but those are my main fragrances.

  5. Nora

    ** Weight post **

    I somehow may have . . lost weight? . . . over the holidays. I did have a bout of food poisoning but its been >1 week since that fully resolved so I don’t think its just that. I was tracking calories for a while but stopped completely in early December. Since then I’ve been focusing on being more mindful of what I’m eating and whether I’m hungry – inutitive eating I guess, and frankly, trying to eat 2 meals a day not 3, and I guess it has sort of worked.

    • Anon

      Nice!

      Make sure you still getting enough of your important nutrients if you are missing a meal (ex. especially calcium/protein). But for me I am not a breakfast person, but eat something small so I can take my meds, and that works well for me.

    • Sunshine

      If losing weight was your goal, congratulations! Sounds like this has been a pretty easy change, so you shouldn’t have a problem keeping it up. Even though I am a morning exerciser, I do not get hungry until about 11:30; I do drink coffee with whole milk in the morning, so I’m sure that’s part of the reason. Breakfast to me just sounds gross. So, like you, I eat two good meals a day and my weight is pretty steady that way.

    • No Problem

      Awesome! Assuming you’re interested in losing weight. I will say that I got a stomach bug once in college and it took ages for me to regain the 3-4 lbs I lost in those 24 hours. But I was very thin back then. Subsequent food poisoning episodes have seen a weight rebound within a week or two.

      The only thing I’ll say is that if you continue losing weight – especially it’s rapid and prolonged – and you don’t think your eating habits have changed that drastically, to get in to your PCP for an exam and some bloodwork. I’ve unfortunately heard too many stories of people losing tons of weight without trying only to find out it’s because of an undiagnosed illness.

      • anon

        +1

        I was losing weight unintentionally – no diet/exercise changes – and after 10-15lbs pounds started to worry I had cancer or something. It turned out I had an autoimmune disease.

  6. Anon

    After yesterday afternoon, I thought about wallet-on-chain type purses. Does anyone have or use? I need something so I don’t have to bring a laptop tote everywhere with me (vs today, when I hand carried my wallet and phone, but could shove them into pockets, along with my car keys). Yay or nay? Was looking at the AllSaints Fetch, which is under $200. The Fendi wallet last night was great but too spendy for me.

    • AIMS

      I don’t, but I got a smaller wallet a few years ago and started having a small cross body that I can throw it in. For some reason I like that better than just a wallet on a chain. Maybe because there is usually one or two other things I like to throw in the small bag that can fit but not easily in a wallet on a chain like phone, keys, lipstick, etc.

      • Anne-on

        This. I actually just consigned my wallet on strap as at best I could fit a phone, cash, two credit cards and a lipstick inside of it.
        I’m eyeing the Lo and Sons Pearl, or the Strathberry crescent shoulder bag as a replacement, will report back if I purchase. I’ve got an earlier version of the Lo and Son’s convertible belt bag which I highly recommend btw – the size smaller than the Pearl. It’s very sturdy, has held up well for 5+ years now and is perfect for tossing inside a bigger bag. It’s my primary ‘evening’ bag when I travel for work

        • CK

          Over the summer I bought my mother a bag from Quince that seems very similar to the Lo & Sons Pearl. Quince has been hit or miss for me and I am really impressed with quality of this bag and it runs just shy of $120. I can’t do a wallet on a chain because I generally need to carry more so I have a small bag that I can fit into a tote.

        • AIMS

          I found the Pearl to be too compartmentalized, if that makes sense. I am not that organized and the dozens of little compartments that are very specific in their intended purpose just took up space and didn’t get actually used after the first day. It’s just too annoying to put a pen or lipstick back in its exact place.

          I have something similar to this and find it very useful: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/allsaints-half-moon-leather-crossbody-bag/6796873?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FBrands%2FAllSaints&color=001

          • Anon

            That is so interesting! I am the exact opposite. I love all the pockets in my Pearl because it keeps me organized and I hate having to dig for things.

            Just goes to show how different people are.

    • anon

      I don’t use a wallet on chain because I need reading glasses and can’t fit them, a phone, etc. in a wallet on chain due to the shape. I use a small crossbody instead and put it in my larger work bag.

  7. Anon

    I just started a job with longer hours (but more money and more time off!) and I am struggling a bit with up keeping my apartment – I need to revamp my tidying / cleaning schedule and how I organize my apartment. If I have a system in place, I’m good at doing it but I’m bad at creating a system. Any tips?

    • go for it

      two thoughts:
      1) more money can mean a cleaning person biweekly perhaps
      2) set it in a calendar on a weeknight (for me I do paperwork on Monday nights)
      cleaning is generally 1 hour on weeknight too

      • CK

        A cleaning person helps a lot. I have someone come once a month and I find that’s enough for me and I can reasonably keep up with it in-between visits. When I had a live in partner I needed more frequent visits.

      • Anon

        yep, get a cleaning service or up the frequency of the one you have. I would love weekly cleaning if it were in the budget (we have biweekly).

    • anon

      Cleaning is different from organizing/decluttering. This is what I do for cleaning on a daily/weekly basis:

      Daily
      1. Make my bed.
      2. I keep a washcloth on the bathroom counter and wipe excess water off the counter when I’m done.
      3. Dirty clothes go into the laundry basket.
      4. At the end of the day, all the dishes are done and counters wiped down.
      5. I also make sure my couch cushions are straightened and blankets folded.
      6. Sweep kitchen floor if needed. I have cats so I do this more often than not between vacuuming.

      Weekly
      1. Vacuum all carpeted surfaces.
      2. Vacuum or sweep kitchen floor and use steam mop.
      3. Wipe down/dust end tables and coffee tables.

      I will clean bathrooms/toilets on an as needed basis.

      For organization, the biggest thing is to have a place for everything. Put your keys, purse, etc. in the same place. Have a place for your shoes. I like using baskets to corral items. You may need to experiment to find a system that works for you.

      On YouTube, I like Caroline Winkler’s video “You’re doing home organization WRONG.”

    • anecdata

      Since you have longer hours now, I’d work backwards on creating a system: start from how much time you have available/want to spend cleaning, and fill that with the stuff that has the most impact (instead of starting from “here’s all the cleaning tasks I want to do”). Then do that for a few weeks and reevaluate (is it clean enough, or do you want to either dedicate more hours or more money to get more cleaning)

      When I’m working longer hours, I find cleaning pretty manageable – there’s something relaxing about doing dishes when I’m braindead – but have definitely found more cognitively taxing life admin (eg. Taxes, figure out how to refinance mortgage, plan a vacation) hard to keep up with, and sometimes need to dedicate a PTO day for working on them.

  8. anon

    what are people wearing for winter coats to work these days? I thought wool coats had gone the way of pill box hats but all of a sudden I’m feeling rather underdressed in my black knee length puffer…. i was eyeing a coat at j crew that is only final sale so not risking it and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of middle ground pricing at Nordstrom, suggestions?

    • Anon

      I have an older colored wool coat from Lands End that I always get compliments on. Check Boden. I don’t wear the wool one dail (have grim black puffer), but use it weekly when I want to feel delightful. Also, faux fur coats are very warm, so I wear that for fun / festive winter times.

      • shanananana

        yep, was going to say I have a lands end wool coat in rotation that’s at least 8 years old and excellent. You used to be able to filter by warmth rating on there. One of my others is Talbots and while I bought entirely for the color, is also quite warm for all but the most frigid days. Then its puffer. I’m not freezing for fashion anymore.

      • A

        unfortunately lands end no longer offers anything like the staple one they had in prior years.

    • Anon

      I’ve always worn wool coats to work and I’ve had good luck finding them at Macys. Also, I’ve found some in that style from Old Navy that I’ve liked and have held up really well. My go-to wool style coat is from ON and I’ve worn it most days in the winter for 4 years. For $60, you can’t beat that PPW. I wear it more than my actual wool Calvin Klein one from Macys.

    • Anon

      A charcoal knee length puffer, same as the 5 other colleagues I went to lunch with yesterday.

    • PolyD

      Wool coats have gone the way of the pillbox hat because very few “wool” coats are made with enough wool to be warm. In my opinion, that amount is at least 96% wool, and I haven’t seen coats with that much wool in a long time. Maybe at the very high end of coats they still make those.

      • anon

        That might be part of the problem. Mine was definitely a wool blend from a department store and was never all that warm or comfortable.

      • Betsy

        Agreed! I have a vintage wool coat that I found for a very reasonable price on Poshmark that is 100% wool and it keeps me toasty and warm. “Wool” coats made of 40% wool and 60% synthetic just aren’t warm.

      • AIMS

        Agree that it’s harder to find all wool coats or even ones that are mostly wool, but it can be done.

        Also, fwiw, I got a stadium cloth 80% wool coat from JCrew this year and find it fairly warm for regular NYC winter days, particularly when paired with winter accessories (hat and scarf make the biggest difference, imo, because even my super warm puffers aren’t great if I don’t pair them with proper accessories).

      • Anon

        My main coat is an actual Loden coat that’s older than me, bought from Poshmark for about $100. It’s warm, roomy enough that I can layer under it and I get tons of compliments. Only thing that might be a downside to some is it’s really heavy, as in, it weighs a lot. I don’t mind, but others might.

      • anon

        It’s not always percent content but, but gross content matters as well. I bought a J Crew Factory coat that was supposedly 90% wool but it was overall very thin and flimsy so 90% of not a lot is still not a lot. In contrast I have a Soia & Kyo coat that was 70% wool but it is much thicker and so that 70% translates to more wool. Hard to sush these things out until you can try the coats on in person.

        To the OP, I don’t know what the trend is anymore. I moved to the PNW and the entire region is casual as a whole so I hardly take my wool coats out of the closet anymore. It’s all been puffer jackets and raincoats for me.

    • anon

      I feel a little underdressed in my puffer but I just can’t stand wearing wool coats. Mine bit the dust 2 seasons ago and I haven’t replaced it. I went for a streamlined black quilted puffer and dress it up with a pretty scarf, hat, and gloves. I get away with it, but I’m well aware it’s probably not the most fashionable choice.

    • DC Pandas

      Anything goes in 2024!

      I wear a mix of coats into the office depending on the weather and my method of transportation (bike, bus, train).
      -long stadium style parka (Adidas Condivo)
      -short ski coat (similar to North Face Freedom Insulated Jacket)
      -hip-length furry hood parka (LL bean insulated parka)
      -long formal coat (j. crew lady day topcoat)
      -short formal coat (madewell double br**sted)

      I find that having a nice sweater, blazer, or other indoor topper helps me feel put together when my outerwear is a bit more geared toward weather than fashion.

    • Anon

      Wool coats are not out!? I have the Aritzia Cocoon and love it when I want to look nice, but they have a bunch of other good options.

    • Anne-on

      Take a look at Boden, they’re having a sale now and the quality is better than Jcrew and the sizing on coats isn’t as finicky as their dresses/tops. Talbots also has great options but they can run big. A classic wool peacot or stadium coat in thick wool would be my pick – I get bored of black so tend to go for olive/red/navy/grey.
      Winter coats vary so much based on location in my opinion. In cold weather areas nearly everyone I know has a coat ‘wardrobe’ (myself included). I have 3 wool dress coats (hip length, knee length, ankle length) but the second the weather turns sloppy in any way we all break out the serious winter gear (parkas of various lengths/warmth, ski jackets, waxed coats etc.).

    • Anonymous

      I live in Chicago so my thoughts should be taken in the context of the weather there. Wool coats are unquestionably more polished than puffers, although I own both. A word of warning, wool coats are much warmer than wool-blend or polyester coats, which are what I believe all jcrew sells now. I find a wool coat is at its warmest when I’m wearing a blazer underneath because there is no chance for the wind to get up the sleeves. In general, you want to size up for wool coats to allow space for sweaters, etc. I’m having trouble identifying the cause of your hesitation. Is it that you think you won’t wear it much? Frankly, if you wear it infrequently (and it’s not trendy) it can last for 20 years. I also think it’s one of those things that is good to have on hand. I vividly remember attending my grandmother’s funeral in Alabama in the winter. It was unusually cold and her sister showed up in a bright pink puffer.

      • Anne-on

        You know you’re of a certain age when you intentionally have funeral outfits. I had just purchased a plain black wool dress right before my Grandmother’s funeral in my 20s and I’ve always kept a plain black dress that fits comfortably since then. Rushing out to try to buy something appropriate on top of travel/funeral arrangements is tortuous.

        • Anan

          Off topic, but my mother, who is visiting, just asked me to pick up a box of sympathy cards. I guess one also gets to an age where one buys sympathy and get well cards by the box.

          • AIMS

            I have these for work. We often get notified when someone’s parent/spouse/other close relation passes and i like to send a card, which is much easier to do if I have them readily available.

          • anon

            I have a box of personalized notecards that I use for sympathy notes and thank you notes. Letterpress personalized notecards aren’t that expensive on Etsy these days and I find them really useful to keep around.

          • Anon

            It’s so rare to find a “good” sympathy card that I stock up when I do.

      • Trixie

        I have had knit cuffs added to my wool coats–makes the sleeves much warmer. A tailor can do this.

    • Anon

      I have never once been under the impression that wool coats are out. They’re everywhere in my city. I’d say they’re more popular than puffers.

    • Anon

      Who are all these people with only one coat? Good grief, I have a range of everything from puffer to wool to casual to formal to fun in varying degrees of warmth. Coats are a major part of my wardrobe, I cannot relate to this at all.

      • Anon

        Same, but I’m Canadian and we have a million kinds of weather that I need different coats for.

      • Mpls

        I know, right? I have both puffers (3 – regular use, extra cold use, and sweaty shoveling use) and at least 3 wool-ish coats that I rotate thru during the winter. When winter/coat season is 6 months long, a girl’s got to have options.

    • Senior Attorney

      Check out Talbots. They have some nice wool coats. Word of warning, though, they’re cut big in the hips and as I’m an inverted triangle they didn’t work for me.

  9. Shanananana

    Does anyone have any templates or resources for tracking projects they would be willing to point me towards? I am taking over managing the progress of various projects for our internal team and am looking for ways to keep it all straight as well as be able to report on status fairly easily. I know there have been some discussions in the past, but wanted to see if anyone had any new resources they are liking.

    • anon

      Are you familiar with Gantt charts? It’s a rather old school method but still works.

    • Anon

      I like using Trello, Monday.com, or JIRA.

      You can use kanban boards or just status boards if there are lots of little tasks.

      Gantt charts are a pain to maintain but do show dependencies well. I don’t love Microsoft Project. Jimmying a Gantt chart in excel can really be annoying unless you’re great at Excel.

  10. Anonymous

    I can’t remember if I posted here or on the mom’s s*te about advice for attending my grandmother’s funeral with children (5-10) but it was yesterday and my kids really rose to the occasion. There were a LOT of good questions about religion afterward as my grandmother had a Full On Catholic Funeral (viewing with prayers, hour of church with incense and the whole 9 yards, gravesite blessings, meal after, motorcade in between everything etc) and my kids have never before set foot in a church. I also was in the catholic church I grew up attending for the first time in easily 25 years and while 95% of it was the same, the 5% of changes made it seem like it went BACK in time (is it possible for Catholics to get even less progressive?!), not forward. So strange.

    • Anonymous

      I swear the change from “and also with you” to “and with your spirit” is the most alienating thing they could have done. Like take a comforting well worn phrase anyone who’s ever been any kind of Catholic knows and can remember and engage with when they come back from random reasons and just up and mix it up!

      • Anon

        Do half of the people revert back to the old way? I’d almost do that on purpose.

        May the Force be with you.
        And also with you.

      • Anonymous

        Op here, I noticed that too!! There were a couple of other minor changes and my autopilot was totally messed up. Was there some kind of source material change in the past ~25 years?

        It’s like when I was in Catholic elem and everyone was talking about Vatican II.

        • Mpls

          Yes – Pope Benedict (the first pope to resign, btw, and who was a conservative type that’s probably still bitter over Vatican II) decided there were aspects of the Mass that weren’t formal enough or something and decided to change up some language. It’s stupid nit-picky stuff.

          • Anon

            Wrong. The directive was written under Pope JPII, but (due to how slowly things move) was enacted during Benedict’s tenure. It was to more closely align the English translation with the Latin text. I happen to like it, and if you regularly attend Mass it’s totally familiar by now.

            Also, Pope Benedict in his Cardinal days attended and contributed to all sessions of Vatican II (and was actually known as a “progressive Cardinal” back then). Towards his death, he affirmed “that Vatican II not only was “meaningful” but “necessary.””

        • Anonymous

          People who go to church got the source document. People who don’t go shouldn’t complain about it.

        • anecdata

          Not a source material change (ie nothing changed in the Latin) but a translation change. In my heart, I still miss “and also with you” a little… But one thing I like is that the new English translation more closely matches a lot of other languages’ translations, so it feels more familiar when I’m at a service in another language (eg. the Spanish has been “y con tu espiritu” and the French “et avec votre esprit” forever, and that was always hard to remember when my translating brain was expecting “tambien”

      • Anon

        OMG I’ve only been to church for funerals in the last 5 or so years, and I’ve still been saying “and also with you” – I didn’t know it had changed!!!

        • anecdata

          Don’t worry about it – it’s very very common at weddings and funerals for there to be folks doing the same! But if you’d like to know for next time, something like “2011 pew card” will probably get you tons of pictures of cheat sheets of the changes in the congregation’s parts

      • Turtlemania

        Wow, this was news to me! Guess I haven’t been to church in quite a while. That was always my favorite part (as my family had to stay in the pews during communion since we hadn’t been baptized).

  11. Anne-on

    PSA for those looking for high quality sweaters – I just bought a few at Talbots during their end of season sale and they have great options. You can sort by fabric to ensure you’re getting all natural fibers. The usual advice – the clothing runs a bit large so I usually take a XS/S vs. a S/M in other brands.

  12. Anon

    Favorite easy / quick vegan dessert recipes? Hosting some friends to watch the college football championship and have a few vegans coming.

    • Anon

      Brownie mix is often vegan, just watch out for the kind with chocolate chips, which often but not always have milk.

    • anon

      Most premade (frozen and graham cracker) pie crusts are vegan. I’m not a confident baker but I made Nora Cooks’ pecan pie with a frozen crust for a group of omnivores recently and it was a big hit. Or just popping in a can of fruit pie filling and topping with crushed graham crackers would be even easier.

      A sundae bar would also be fun — get a few flavors of nondairy ice cream (Ben & Jerry’s and Van Leeuwen are the best IMO) and a container of Cocowhip. Most bottled chocolate syrups are “accidentally vegan.”

    • Anne-on

      Rice krispies treats made with coconut oil is my go to. Whole foods also has the vegan Rubicon cupcakes which are fantastic and my whole family will happily eat.

      • Anonymous

        If you try this be sure to get vegan marshmallows – they usually contain gelatin

    • Lydia

      Hummingbird High has an amazing vegan chocolate chip cookie recipe in her cookbook!

    • emeralds

      If you’re looking for really easy and really quick…I buy a tub of vegan ice cream and call it a day. The So Delicious brand seems to always hit.

      • edj3

        Vegan here, I love Oatley ice cream–the coffee flavor is my favorite but the vanilla is great.Haven’t tried the chocolate because I tend to make double chocolate teff cookies from the cookbook Run Fast, Eat Slow. They are also gluten free, if that matters.

    • Jules

      I always post this, but the Marie Callender fruit pies – which come uncooked and frozen – are vegan and are the bomb. For NYE I made a from-scratch coconut cake (Smitten Kitchen plush coconut cake, with a glaze and coconut on top) and a Marie Callender cherry crumble pie, and the pie was by far the more popular item.

  13. UK Trip Help

    I have a friend’s wedding in North Yorkshire, UK this fall an am looking to make at least a week-long trip out of it. We want to visit London, Oxford, Bath, and Edinburgh as well. We’d likely end the trip in North Yorkshire and spend at least 2 days there for the wedding. A few questions:

    1) Is 7 days feasible for hitting all these places? How would you re-shape this itinerary?
    2) Is renting a car the best option or is public transport a reliable option? I’ve been to London and the Cotswolds and recall the latter not being as convenient to reach.
    3) Any reccs for where we should fly in/out of with this itinerary?
    4) Any recommended, affordable places to stay?
    THANKS!

    • Cb

      That’s a lot in 7 days, less than 2 days in each… Edinburgh to London on the train is 4 hours. I’d fly into Edinburgh and make my way south to London on the train, flying out from Heathrow.

    • Anonymous

      No way! That’s a crazy itinerary. You’d spend all your time on travel and struggle to get it done. Edinburgh is literally in a separate country cross it off your list. London and North Yorkshire is a week long trip. Bath as a day trip and Oxford as a day trip from London is doable but unless you don’t care about seeing London I’d pick one.

    • anon

      This itinerary is sadly not realistic. Driving in the UK takes a very long time and if you’re not used to driving on the other side of the road and driving a manual, it will be even worse. Train travel can also be very unpredictable with delays, strikes, etc. There are also no big airports in North Yorkshire, so you’ll probably have to travel back down to Leeds or maybe go to Newcastle to connect to get out. If I were you, I’d cut out Edinburgh, fly into London and make your way to Yorkshire and then figure out how to get home from there. Or start in Edinburgh and make this more of a Northern Trip, maybe go to the Lake District and save London, Oxford, etc. for another trip.

    • Anon

      Pick either Bath or Oxford. I think both are lovely but if you like Jane Austen, it’s Bath.
      You’re trying to cram too much in 7 days.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      That’s way too much and I’m not familiar with North Yorkshire, but just looking at the map, if you ended there, you’d end up backtracking as it’s in the middle. I would skip Oxford and Bath, fly into London, stay in London for a few days, attend wedding, then go spend a few days in Edinburgh and fly out of there (or do the reverse). I’d take the train between cities, if an option for where you’re going in North Yorkshire.

    • anon

      Can you stay longer? Edinburgh and North Yorkshire is a nice week (maybe even add York), then down to London from which Oxford and Bath are doable day trips or overnights. But I would streamline. Driving in the UK takes a lot longer than the same distances in the US, petrol is a lot more expensive, city driving and parking is a nightmare. And the trains are just horribly unreliable at the moment, I dread intercity train travel because it’s disrupted about half the time, which is bad enough trying to get home – it would be horrible if it’s hours of your holiday you’re spending in some miserable overcrowded station with your hotel for the night booked 200 miles away and no certainty you’ll be able to travel. The basic rule of thumb in the UK is it’s easier to go up and down, particularly to London, than it is to get across, so Bath and North Yorkshire in the same holiday is difficult. I would probably start with the flight (depends where you’re coming from, but into London is almost sure to give you the most options of airline, time, stopovers and cost) and the wedding and then go from there.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not a sensible itinerary, but it can sort of be done by train but you’ll be exhausted. Personally I would skip Bath, and keep the rest.

      Day 0 – arrival
      Fly to London Heathrow.
      Take the Heathrow Express to Paddington station This is a 15 minute ride from T 2&3, a little longer from T4&5.

      Take the Great Western Railway from Paddington station to Bath Spa railway station. The train is a direct route and takes 1 hour 20 minutes and there is a train approximately every half hour.

      Check in at your hotel, have meal, go to bed and be kind to your jetlag.

      Day 1 – Bath Spa
      Be a full day tourist in Bath. You do not need more than a full day, Bath is a small and compact city. Do not go on Sunday, everything closes early.
      Stay at your hotel for a second night.

      Day 2 – Oxford
      Have breakfast in Bath and then take the train to Oxford. You will need to change trains at Didcot Parkway, which is 15-20 minutes from Oxford. The whole journey will be around 65 minutes and there are approx. hourly trains.
      Check in at Oxford hotel, choose something very central. Enjoy an evening in Oxford, maybe an evensong?

      Day 3 – Oxford and London
      Do touristy things in Oxford, have lunch or afternoon tea and then take the train to London. You’ll arrive at Paddington again. Either direct, or another change at Didcot Parkway. 55 minutes total.

      Stay in a hotel close to an underground station. (Your train towards Yorkshire will most probably go from King’s Cross, so Bloomsbury in walking distance to Northern line or Euston would be great). See a West End show.

      Day 4 – London
      Spend the day in London – you can easily spend a week in London, so expand if possible.

      Day 5 – London to Yorkshire
      Spend the day in London and take an evening train (Transpennine or LNER) towards Yorkshire if there is a relevant train station. Otherwise, this is the time to get a rental car. By train you’ll get to North Yorkshire in 2.5 hours, by car it’s a little more than 4. Train would be best.

      Day 6 Wedding

      Day 7 Train from relevant train station in Yorkshire to Edinburgh (Transpennine, Cross Country or LNER). Around 3 hours.

      Stay somewhere close to Haymarket (or Waverly station). Go see the castle, walk down the Royal mile, see Arthur’s seat and maybe the royal palace. Have dinner in Haymarket.

      Day 8 Tram to Edinburgh Airport, fly home.

      • OP

        OP here – thank you all so very much, especially to the commenter with the detailed itinerary. I mentioned to my bf yesterday that Edinburgh doesn’t make sense ATM unless we extend the trip days…which is contingent on leave approval…so I appreciate the affirmation on that. Also did not realize public transport could be troublesome! Thanks again and open to any more feedback!

        • Itenerary anon

          I would still consider the trains reliable in general, but your problem would be that you have very little wiggle room, so that a small change or cancellation (advance tickets would be valid for next train) could make a lot of trouble in a tight schedule.

          In general, traveling by train in the UK as a tourist is delightful. Fabulous views of the countryside, cakes and wine if you want, and OK prices as long as you can plan ahead. Prices are horrible on the day, though. 80-90 days before traveling is the perfect time to get a discounted ticket.

          Absolutely do not plan on driving in London. If you get a rental car, you want to drive in the countryside, not where there are trains, tubes and buses.

  14. Mortgage pre-qualification

    Dumb question: how do I know whom to reach out to at a given company to get the process started on getting a mortgage? We’d like to contact a few banks for pre-qualification to be able to compare offerings, but we don’t have relationships at many banks nor do we have friends / acquaintances who have contacts. Is there a downside to just using the generic “get started” website pages?

    • anon

      Is there a mortgage broker in your city you can use? Looking back I would’ve liked to try that.

      I personally reached out to the mortgage department of my credit union and several others from an online aggregate website. Ended up going with the most responsive one.

    • Anon

      Don’t give them your real cell phone number unless/until you are ready to move forward. They will hound you to death forever.

    • Anon

      Ask your friends for recommendations on mortgage brokers. Don’t be afraid to shop around.

    • rates

      find a local mortgage officer at a bank/credit union to get the prequalification, it doesn’t matter where if you’re just shopping. Once you’re offer is accepted get online rates from like quicken, rocket etc and pit them against each other. Granted I’ve only done this when rates were sub 4%, but if you have good credit etc it should still work.

    • Anon

      A credit union will often be your best bet/have the best rate options (we got a rate of 4.3% in 2022). I would also ask your realtor for a recommendation. Smaller and local outfits are usually more responsive and better able to move quickly, which is critical in this market

  15. Anonymous

    I want to get in the habit of eating breakfast. I leave my house fast in the morning (less than 20 minutes after rolling out of bed). I prefer hot food. I hate oatmeal. I’d like to try some breakfast burrito/sandwich options that I could theoretically nuke and safety eat on my way to work. Any recipes you love or tips, ideas welcome!

    • anon

      You could try making homemade egg bites or buying them from the frozen section. There are lots of breakfast sandwich options in the frozen aisle as well. The breakfast burrito recipe from Once Upon a Chef is good.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t have a recipe, but you can definitely make a bunch of burritos, wrap them up tightly, and freeze them. Egg muffins are also an option, and they can be frozen, but my experience with those has been hit or miss, with more cheese being a step to the positive for flavor and texture.

    • Anonymous

      Hot food you can eat in the car is a struggle. Maybe I’m unusually clumsy, but there’s a high likelihood I’m going to end up wearing anything I try to eat while driving. I think your better bet is something you can microwave and eat as soon as you get to the office. You could do burritos, though an eggy burrito bowl will give you more variety and options for the calories. Shakshusa is a good option. Those little egg muffin things that you bake in a muffin tin are also good and could theoretically hold together in a car (but not for me, I’ve tried).

    • Anan

      I often just take whatever leftovers I have in the fridge and wrap them up in a tortilla for breakfast.
      My other favorite breakfast on the go is waffles sandwich with peanut butter, bananas and everything seasoning. I make a big batch of waffles all at once and keep them in the fridge, pop them in the toaster oven to reheat in the morning.

    • Anon

      I hard boil a bunch of eggs at once, and then in the morning: toast an english muffin, slice an egg on with some cheese, broil until cheese is melted then make it a sandwich. Wrapped in foil it usually stays warm for a bit.

  16. Budgeting Spreadsheet

    With the Mint budget app closing down, we have decided to track our expenses old school with an excel spreadsheet. We bank in two currencies and have not found a good tracking app that can handle accounts in different countries.

    Have you ever purchased a pre-made excel spreadsheet for budgeting or financial tracking? Or found a good free one online. There seem to be a ton of options so interested in any personal experiences. Thanks!

    • Anon

      I downloaded and personalized the Pear Budget one (free). Have used it happily for years, took a couple hours initially to personalize, maybe 45-60 min at the beginning of the year to set the budget, and about 30 minutes each month to update. Don’t deal with multiple currencies so not sure about that.

  17. Jane

    What are people wearing to yoga these days that are comfy, don’t show too much skin while doing poses and don’t make you heat up? As a menopausal woman with a pooch and big bust, feeling insecure after joining a fancy yoga studio, all the tops seem cropped or cut too open and the leggings feel too tight! Specific links would be VERY helpful. Size 12 if it matters!

    • Anonymous

      I just buy all my workout gear from Under Armor. The brand feels like it’s more geared towards functionality rather than fashion like Fabletics and similar stores and they have a wide variety of options.

    • Anon

      Lululemon align high rise flare leggings for me. The cheaper look-alikes are not the same. I mostly reach for Beyond Yoga tank tops but you can also check out Athleta in talls or even Gap/Old Navy.

    • Anon

      As a fellow menopausal woman who just started yoga, I need thin, loose, floaty, cool, enough coverage to not feel bad about myself, and comfort. No way do I want skin tight anything… So uncomfortable. Even the sports bra is too much pressure at times. So I found the best combo for me, and multiple women in my class have come to me and asked what I am wearing.

      I buy the simple thin wide length “lounge pants” at Costco that someone on recommended here. They usually have them advertised in spring/summer. They look like a thin pajama pant or something. Very cool, elastic waist, easy and comfortable and move great with all yoga positions. Honestly, you can find something like this in many places, but at Costco they were so cheap. Like on sale – 2 pairs for $12 or something.

      And then I have sports bras – I’m small, so mine are cheap from Old Navy and Costco. You find your favorite,

      And then I found the greatest top (also at Old Navy) and it is sleeveless, long but with side cut outs that allow tons of movement and make it very cool, and it covers all midsection pooch. So cheap, easy, washes fine. They don’t have as many colors now, but I have all of them. Just buy a couple and try it out. They are on sale for only $6 after all discounts!

      https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=537957022&cid=1030828&pcid=1030828&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3AOld%20Navy%20Active%3AActivewear%20Tops&cpos=108&cexp=2926&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D1030828&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24010509570267035425765#pdp-page-content

      I wash all my clothes on delicate and hang dry.

  18. Anon

    Part vent, part seeking advice. I learned that my department is an up or out model. For various reasons, I didn’t expect this when I started. But while talking to more tenured colleagues, I found out that if you have solid reviews for X years they’ll push you into a promotion whether you want it or not. My manager waved away my concerns about the expectations and duties for the next level. Yet colleagues have told me off the record that the role is exactly what I’m afraid of.

    My manager started giving me responsibilities typical of the next level and I despise it. The stress, the unpredictability, the long hours. I feel like I’m already failing and I wonder if I’m self-sabotaging to avoid a good performance review. I realized it’s time to start job hunting. I guess I’m looking for reassurance that at the 7-10 year mark (I’m early 30s) it’s possible to find a job in the low six figures that lets you coast at the same level for a long time. I’m in tech if it matters.

    • Anonymous

      I reached out to my bank, someone referred to me by my broker, and someone referred to me by a friend. Used the person referred by my broker who was great.

    • Anon

      You’re at a perfect place to make a jump to another company. You’re moving up and gaining responsibilities, which shows that you are a high performer. You have been there long enough to not be a job hopper but not so long that the new company would feel like they had to break you in.

    • JD

      As someone said, look at other companies. You might be able to get more money to do the same job. Also you’re in a great position to network internally. People can be more candid about what groups to try or avoid. However you’re less likely to get a salary bump with a lateral move. If you’re happy where you are, I don’t think it’s necessary to chase more money/responsibility. But be careful about how you present that so you don’t limit your options.

  19. Anon

    How many sub-par towels is too many?

    I have a dog, so some thinner or torn towels are for drying the dog on rainy days.

    For worn but passable, how many?
    For doggo, also how many?

    And do you just keep some in your car, in case of spills or other calamities?

    Family of 4. We used to have frequent family visiting guests before COViD. Elderly folks don’t travel now and we come to them.

    Some towels are bath towels and some work kids towels. They used to need and lose at y summer camp but have aged out of that, so an abundance exists at our house. Trying to cut them down to smaller use sizes generated a shocking amount of lint, including in the wash.

    • Anonymous

      I have no idea how many is “too many” but I have a ton. We also have a dog and kids, so I can find uses for them all the time. For ones that are really worn, I generally toss rather than wash after a particularly yucky mess though. That’s the life cycle of towels in my house – guest, MBR, extra/kid spills, dog, trash (our kids are still little and have kid-sized towels, so same by they start at the MBR level).

    • Anon

      I don’t bother keeping any subpar towels. If I need to dry the dog, we just use our regular towels and toss them in the wash after. Same goes for all linens. Once we cut down to just what we need (one in use and one in the closet, so 2 sets of sheets per bed, 2 towels per person, etc.) I got all kinds of storage space back and have never had a problem with this approach.

    • Anon

      I like to have enough downgraded towels to sop up one big plumbing incident.

      I hate thick new towels though, so I also keep some worn in but not ratty ones for myself to actually get dry, even if they’re not what I’d put out for guests.

    • Anonymous

      You have to hem or bind the ends to avoid lint.
      Honestly, keep all of the towels you have storage room for. You never know when you will need to sacrifice a towel to a horrible mess.

      • Anon

        I downgrade towels from main use to backup towels if they are still acceptable for human contact, then to general cleaning use, then car washing only, then they go to the “one last use” pile. I like that last pile for very gross stuff so I can just toss the towel in the trash.

        I do keep a small number of downgraded hand towels stashed throughout the house (one in the TV credenza drawer, one in our study, etc.) because they are so handy to have within easy reach in case of a spilled drink or houseplant overflow.

      • Anon

        This is me. I have old animals so I have a lot of messes. I have a couple nice human towels for me, and everything else is expendable bc sometimes they just aren’t worth washing. I probably have 20 dog/animal towels?

    • anon

      I have a whole plastic bin of them in my basement. I foster kittens so I use a lot when setting up their area and frequently wash them so I need to have several available in rotation.

      • Anon

        Ugh! You get kittens regularly! I’m envious… if i did that I’d end up with a dozen or more adult cats haha. How fun! and thank you for being a foster.

  20. Anonymous

    My bff and I ate taking our partners to see Joe Pera in Austin. I’ve got accommodations covered but we want to incorporate a spa day while we’re there. What’s your favorite spa in Austin?

  21. JD

    Interesting article in New York Times from a bagmaker/leather worker who assesses the quality of leather bags on tiktok. First time I’m trying to post a gifted article but here goes:
    https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/04/style/luxury-handbags-leather-goods-tiktok.html?unlocked_article_code=1.LU0.sDIy.77eUCy3vk1bv&smid=url-share

    He finds most luxury brands are all mark up, but recommends Bottega Veneta, Strathberry, Polene, and Coach for the actual quality of their bags (on average at least).

    I don’t buy real luxury brands anymore, but Strathberry, Polene and Coach are in my price point.

    • Anon

      Coach has really stepped up in quality lately – In my amateur view. They’ve moved away from the logos and are now producing more leather bags that look like the original coach styles. I’ve had my eye on one of the new Tabby styles.

  22. anon5

    I’m a first year law student and have some questions about interview attire for judicial internship (state supreme court and state court of appeals, specifically).

    My favorite suit is a navy dress suit from Ann Taylor, but the problem is it’s a hard color to match with shoes because the navy is very dark. It’s too dark for black shoes (it looks like I thought the suit was black!). I have a pair of obxlood/brownish pumps that look great with it, but is oxblood too casual for an interview with a judge? These are the shoes I have: https://www.colehaan.com/womens-mylah-pump/W27899.html

    Alternatively, I have a couple other shoe options in navy suede: a three inch stiletto, or a low block heal. But the navy of those–particularly the former–isn’t a perfect match with the suit. All shoe options are easy to walk in.

    Planning to accessorize with a classic pearl necklace. The dress has a high-ish square neck so the necklace ends up usually going under the necklace and just poking out at the sides, but that’s ok right?

    • Anon

      Black patent shoes are the answer here. Make sure they aren’t scuffed, but they look just fine with dark navy.

      • Anon

        Black patent is a spring leather, so someone old enough to be a judge might find it to be an odd choice. Burgundy should be fine.

    • Anne-on

      Oxblood/Cordovan pumps are formal, classic and perfect shades to wear with a navy suit. Those shoes look great and the entire outfit sounds ideal – good luck!

      • AIMS

        Plus one, wear the shoes you linked to. FWIW – and maybe this is just my experience, but an appellate court can be more casual than a trial level court. Obviously varies by court but ime the fact that you don’t see lawyers/the public on a daily basis sometimes means that people dress a bit more casually (but still conservatively).

    • Anonymous

      I can’t quite decipher your necklace question, but the general answer is that the length and arc of the necklace should be a good fit, proportionally and in shape, for the shape of the neckline. It sounds like your necklace doesn’t play well with the neckline.

      Regarding the shoes, I have no idea. Just that I could not deal with working in an industry where those pumps were deemed casual and got points knocked off for you during an interview. So it’s probably a good thing I’m not a lawyer!

      • anon5

        Hah, fair enough on the shoe comment!! I worked in consulting for almost a decade and always felt comfortable adding a splash of something interesting, like a snakeskin shoe, colored tweed blazer, or brightly colored shell. But I’m now realizing law is a totally different ballgame, especially trying to intern/work for an appellate judge. It’s very conservative, hence wanting to double check formality. I’ve always somewhat liked dressing up for work so I’m not too fussed about having to figure this out. I am glad, however, that I don’t think pantyhose are usually a thing in my region (though I think I’ll put them on for interviews). Good grief I HATE pantyhose!

    • Anonymous

      There’s nothing more conservative than what you’ve described including the oxblood shoes. This is all fine

    • Anonymous

      Navy suits are so hard for me with shoe colors–I usually wear nude-for-me shoes with navy. But I think the oxblood is fine and yes, can’t go wrong with a classic pearl necklace.

    • Anon

      Oxblood sounds perfect to me, as well as navy suede in a lower heel. You don’t have to exactly match the suit because the suede is a different texture.

      Pearls are perfect for any occasion but yes to this one.

      Good luck!

  23. txanon

    Travel question

    I am planning a trip to Egypt in Spring 2024 with my mother. She feels much more confident with a group and so I have agreed to join a tour. I have cost limitations that rule out some of the most luxurious options and I need this trip to be 9-ish nights long for work reasons so that has left us with Intrepid Travel as our best option. We are looking at one of their Premium tours. Does anyone have experience with Intrepid?

    • Anon

      I have done a bunch of Intrepid trips (as well as G Adventures, which is basically the same thing and worth checking out) and highly recommend them. These trips generally have a good mix of free time as well as interesting, small group, local culture activities and experiences. I’ve been all over the world with these two companies (usually solo) and while some trips have been better than others, overall they’ve been great. I do always recommend calling ahead and seeing how many people are on your trip, as well as a general breakdown of ages and solo vs couples. That probably won’t be as important for you and your mom, but if I’m traveling solo I want to make sure it’s not just going to be me and a bunch of old couples or something. Have a great time!

      • txanon

        Thank you for this recommendation! I will check out G Adventures and give Intrepid a call to get an idea of who might have booked the dates we are looking at

  24. Chl

    Does anyone have anything from the brand Kule? It speaks to my inner desires to dress like a preschooler.

    • test run

      I have the terry sweatshirt/shorts set and wear the pieces separately and together all the time. Felt kind of silly paying so much for them, but the cost per wear has got to be minimal at this point. Currently pregnant, but I’d definitely buy more from them in the future.

    • Anon

      I buy it for my teen, who is still 6 at heart and drawing all of the unicorns from My Little Pony.

    • Senior Attorney

      OMG I want to buy every single thing on that site. The stripes…

    • NaoNao

      Yes, I have a cashmere cardigan I LOVE. I got in on TRR and it was worth every penny. However the tee shirt I got with a coupon from the site itself full-price was a bit disappointing, I think it might have a mixed textile (not just 100% cotton) and started to have an odor after only a dozen wears or so. I wound up passing it on to the thrift store hoping someone else could work some Oxy magic on it.

  25. JD

    As someone said, look at other companies. You might be able to get more money to do the same job. Also you’re in a great position to network internally. People can be more candid about what groups to try or avoid. However you’re less likely to get a salary bump with a lateral move. If you’re happy where you are, I don’t think it’s necessary to chase more money/responsibility. But be careful about how you present that so you don’t limit your options.

  26. Anon

    Update from my upper arms. Some time ago someone recommended Am Lactin for keratosis pilaris. I am now on my second tube, which I use on my upper arms after every shower. My arms are now baby smooth, as are my elbows. Not a bump or a rough patch in sight. It’s kind of amazing, actually, after years of bumpy upper arms! Thanks to whomever recommended it!

    • Cora

      I don’t know if it was me but I’m a big Amlactin fan, glad its been working for you!

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