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Updated: Jan 4, 2021 332 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Fraser Slim Pants

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

In a perfect world, I’d get to go into the office wearing my coziest leggings every day. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me, so I’m always on the hunt for the next best thing. These fitted ankle pants from Madewell look super flattering and perhaps close enough to “real” pants to get away with wearing in a business casual office.

I would wear these with an untucked, blousy top and a blazer for a comfy, business casual look.

The pants are $88 and available in sizes 23–37. Fraser Slim Pants

A plus-size option from Liverpool is available at Nordstrom for $98.

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Workwear sales of note for 12.7.23

Our favorites are in bold!

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About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. How to show appreciation for clients' feedback

    Good morning, ladies:

    My role involves asking clients to look at prototypes of new products / enhancements, get feedback, and convey it to the development team. Our clients are accountants and attorneys, so the value of their time and analysis is tremendous.

    I’m in awe of the generosity these clients have shown and want to show our appreciation. While other vendors can give out Starbucks cards and the like, my company is small and not in a position to do that.

    What else may I offer? I’ve thought of sending handwritten thank you notes, but not sure how these would reach them when all are working remotely. When things return to normal, we plan to host cocktail hours at conferences, etc.

    Any suggestions as to what I can do until then to convey our gratitude?

    • Anonymous

      A discount on the product or an email. And dial it back on the ave thing it’s over the top.

      • Cat

        +1. Honest, matter of fact thanks, and a discount. Giving a token gift to participants would actually cheapen the gratitude IMHO – like “oh I spent an hour testing this out and now I have yet another branded water bottle” or “oh that was only worth $5 to them?”

    • Anon

      Is the cost of the cocktail hours you’re not hosting that much less than $5 gift cards?

      • Ellen

        I agree. Time is money and all of our time is worth something, even a di minimus amount, such as a Starbucks card. If you are up front and we know that we can get $5 card, most of us will answer your questions. It is much like anything else and this is how you get what you want, be up front!

        If you have a mentor, ask him or her and see what he/she says. The worse that can happen is that he/she says no.

    • Elderlyunicorn

      If I were your client, I’d love to know that my feedback (and time spent) was useful. What did your development team say about it? What changes might you make to new products based on what was shared? What enhancements are you going to prioritize now that you’ve heard what I have to say about it? That’s what i would value. I would also value the extent to which you understand my business and needs, and demonstrate that understanding through the questions you ask and the insights you can provide during the conversations.

  2. Anon

    My google skills are failing me, so I’m hoping someone can help.

    I have a personal iPhone and a work iPhone. They have separate iCloud accounts. If I got Air Pods, would they be able to switch seamlessly between the two devices? Everything I’m reading online seems to indicate that they can switch between devices on the same iCloud account, so I’m guessing not?

    • anon

      AFAIK AirPods are not related to an iCloud account. They’re compatible with non-apple products as well. What you’re describing I believe is a Bluetooth issue. I switch AirPod usage between my iPhone, work Dell, and personal Thinkpad all the time without an issue, so I don’t see why it would be any different between two iPhones.

        • The original Scarlett

          Yep, watches are account specific because they sync with your phone (owner of too many apple products here)

      • anon

        +1. I have mine paired to all of my work and personal devices, some of which don’t even have iCloud accounts. They will default to one device though, so you’ll have to select the AirPods from the Bluetooth menu if you want to switch between phones.

    • Airplane.

      So I had this issue with Apple Watch and I think the official answer is no but an Apple employee at the store was able to do a workaround and pair my personal Apple Watch with my work iphone even though it’s a different iCloud account. But then when something happened a year later and I needed it paired again they said no, we can’t do that. It’s kind of annoying but at the AirPod price point I might just get a second pair – maybe a first gen pair for the lesser used phone.

      • Lilliet

        I think that’s just the watch b/c it interfaces with apps on your phone (iCloud account, I guess but had never thought of that).

        • Ribena

          It’s linked to the specific phone, as well as the iCloud account. I run two iPhones on the same iCloud account but with different phone numbers – my work phone and personal. My watch is definitely linked to my personal phone rather than to both.

    • Lilliet

      I switch my Air Pods between my phone and my iPad seamlessly. Not seamlessly in the sense that the device can read my mind and connect them for me. Seemlessly in the sense that if I put them in and the automatically connect to my phone but I want them on my iPad, I can go into settings and connect them without any hassle. Mine always connect to the last device they were connected to, and AFAIK it has nothing to do with my iCloud account. I imagine the same would be true for your two iPhones.

    • The original Scarlett

      Yes, they can pair with anything Bluetooth, unrelated to your accounts. Also, might I suggest the Beats Pro earbuds by Apple instead, I find them so much more comfortable than either the AirPods or the AirPods Pro.

    • Anon

      I have way too many devices (work phone (Android)and personal phone (iPhone) work laptop and personal laptop (chrome book), kindle fire and a surface pro for work.

      Are AirPods worth it? Would use them a lot with my personal phone, a little for my work phone (phone calls are hard to hear on it), a lot on my surface pro (Microsoft teams meetings), and occasionally on my kindle or laptops.

      • Cat

        100% worth it. I got the Pros right before lockdown started and they have been MVPs. The bluetooth connection never drops, the choice of silicone earbud means they are so much more comfortable than the first-gen version, and the option to have noise canceling or “transparency” means you can hear yourself talk when on calls – no shouting.

        I switch between my iPhone and iPad routinely. You “pair” them once upfront, and then it’s a 2 second thing to switch (just go to bluetooth and select them, if you were most recently using them with a different device).

      • Anon Probate Atty

        I have the first generation AirPods, bought over a year ago. I LOVE them. I have small ears, so getting earbuds that fit comfortably and didn’t fall out of my ears had been a problem in the past, but the AirPods always fit comfortably with no issues, even after wearing them for long periods. Never had any connectivity problems with them. They sound great when using the phone, too. And I may or may not have accidentally left them in the pocket of a pair of pants that I soaked in the sink overnight a few months back, and somehow they still work just fine.

        • Airplane.

          I think I like my first gen better than my air pod pro. Where did the tap feature go? I loved tapping to skip a song in one ear and play/side in other ear.

          • Cat

            for the Pros, it’s one squeeze (on the part that extends downward, not the top) to play or pause, two taps to fast forward, and three taps to rewind. Same on either ear.

          • Cat

            Gah, should have said “squeeze” throughout, not switch to “tap” – it’s the same quick motion for all 3. Squeeze and hold to switch between noise cancel and not.

          • Airplane.

            Yeah I miss the actual tap. I think I’m not good at squeezing quick enough for play/pause. I sometimes get noise cancel when I want play pause even though play pause. Maybe it’s me.

    • Anon

      I switch my airpods between my iphone, ipad and peloton without any trouble at all. Sometimes I have to go in and select the airpods to connect or open/close the case to get them to register on the next device, but it’s not a problem. I’m not sure I’ve ever intentionally accessed my icloud account, and definitely didn’t use one to set up my airpods. I just had to pair them and go.

  3. anon

    Any tips for dusting off foreign language skills?

    I’m pursuing a job opportunity that will involve an interview in Spanish at some point. I have an undergrad degree in it and used my Spanish skills extensively for the first decade of my career but I’m afraid it’s been about 5 years since I was forced to speak/write in it professionally so I’d like to squeeze in some practice. DuoLingo is not advanced enough for the kind of refresher that I’m seeking.

    • Ribena

      Podcasts in the language and audiobooks are good for understanding spoken language. Actively speaking the language is harder to manufacture situations for, I’ve found. For reading, books and newspapers – but again, same problem with actively producing written language.

    • Blueberries

      I’ve heard from an older neighbor who lives alone that shelter in place has been really lonely. There might be an elder who would love to help you with your Spanish while also having someone to talk with during this time that they have to be home more.

      Can you call your local senior centers to see if there are any Spanish-speaking elders in your community who might like the companionship of phone calls in Spanish while they’re staying safer at home? Or put messages out on Nextdoor/Facebook that you’re available to chat with Spanish-speaking elders?

    • Anon

      Lots of podcasts, read the newspapers online, subreddits in that language, Easy Spanish Youtube channel (will have English and Spanish subtitles), individual tutoring/conversation practice via Verbling/italki teacher. Podcasts and Verbling lessons helped me the most (I was practicing a different foreign language, though). I was definitely paying attention to adding new structures to my own working vocabulary through the passive media consumption, I think it makes a difference to have a goal like that.

    • Anon

      For active writing, maybe join a Spanish language IRC server, Discord, or Facebook group relevant to some interest of yours? (Or, I don’t know if there are other chat or social media platforms more popular among Spanish speakers than the ones I know as an English speaker, but that could be worth finding out too.) For me the advantage of chat is that I have to produce reasonably correct written language reasonably quickly.

    • BB

      Go on italki and pay $20 to talk to a native speaker for an hour for the conversation part. Depending on the “teacher” you get, they may even be able to help you with a writing part (like you write something and they correct it for you live).

    • Anon

      Italki! Find a native speaker and start chatting. You can find all types of speakers, from certified teachers to language partners (non-certified, but still native speaker). It has been the single best thing I do every week to keep my Spanish skills fresh. I’m far from perfect at it, but I have totally lost the fear that used to keep me from jumping into conversations because I’m so used to speaking it regularly.

      You can also find teachers who will give you more of a formal plan with recommendations for reading, movies, etc. Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      The Latin American Association in Atlanta provides adult Spanish instruction, including private lessons. Since they are operating remotely, you could likely sign up from wherever you are and if you want something more tailored than they typically offer, just reach out to the coordinator. She is a highly-educated native speaker and may be able to work something out. It’s a great org to support with your money.

    • anon

      OP here – these are awesome suggestions! The idea about reaching out to an elderly Spanish speaker in my neighborhood is wonderful and definitely something I wouldn’t have thought of without the wisdom of this community. Thank you all!

  4. Dress help?

    Shopping halp needed! I got invited to a wedding in DC in late August. (I live in Maryland and will be driving to the venue.) What do I wear? Ceremony will be at St. Matthew’s. I’ve never been, so I don’t know what the dress code is like. budget is about ~$100, willing to order from reputable retailers in the US.

    Colors – I’m generally more of a solid jewel tones kinda girl but doesn’t seem appropriate for a melting DC summer… I look awful in yellow and pink. I’m a size 4, about 5’3″ for reference.

    Thanks! You ladies always have great dress recommendations

    • anon8

      I would check Macy’s. I think under the Dresses category they have a selection specifically for wedding guests.

    • anon

      Does the invitation not have dress code info? If not, let us know the time of the ceremony as that can provide some clues.

      • Dress help? OP

        It’s going to be at 2:30pm, and no, I never got a real invitation. Long story short, I got invited via FB messenger recently and I decided to attend to support the bride. Her family lives overseas and most likely will not be able to attend.

        • anon

          Earlier ceremony means less formal so you can wear pretty much whatever you want! Nordstom allows you to sort dresses by occasion, including “wedding guest.” There’s a berry-colored Ali & Jay dress that is currently catching my eye if you want to check that out. It’s the “for the gram chiffon midi dress” (silly name but cute style IMO).

    • The original Scarlett

      Personally I wouldn’t bother shopping and would expect it to get cancelled…..

      • Anon

        Yeah, I just plain wouldn’t go. Weddings are important and I plan to go to a small, outdoor one for my oldest friend in October (literally the only social event of the latter part of the year…), but I wouldn’t go to one in an indoor church. Per this point, I’d also expect it to get cancelled. Are you sure you want to go, OP? If you find a dress, I’d keep the tags on until the day of.

      • Dress help? OP

        Fair enough, but if it isn’t cancelled I’d like to support the bride by going. Just posted above, but her family lives overseas so highly unlikely they’ll be here for her.

        I’m willing to take the risk of attending the church ceremony and stay masked, but I’m passing on the reception.

    • Anon

      I got married in St. Matthews during September. Assuming wedding is still a go, St. Matthews is air conditioned, so if you run cold in large air conditioned venues you may want to consider that. Also, there’s no real extra dress code if you aren’t a conservative 70 year old Catholic woman like my mother (my mother and I had a MASSIVE argument when I wanted to wear a strapless dress- in her mind sleeveless tank style was ok, but Heaven forbid I have a naked clavicle! I bought my own dress and did what I wanted to!). I’d probably keep in mind that you are in a church (it’s a stunning Byzantine style cathedral), so probably avoid too sheer, too tight, too revealing. In life I steer away from all of those any way, so YMMV.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        I mean, I was raised Catholic but don’t practice, and I personally would not wear a strapless dress to a church. Or I would bring some kind of pashmina or topper for the church service and take it off for the reception. I would also avoid super short, clingy or revealing dresses. You do you, OP, but traditionally at a Catholic wedding you just try not to show too much skin. Not sure if this is religious or regional, but my family was a firm no on black at weddings too (for women – black suits for men are acceptable).

        • Pink

          This. I would not wear a strapless dress into a Catholic church ever, but if you choose a sleeveless dress, take a pashmina (you’ll need it for the AC anyway). I am not Catholic but my extended family is. At my cousin’s Catholic wedding, the older folks were hardcore judging the women without shoulder coverings and the ostensible Catholics who didn’t know when to sit/stand/kneel (it was not indicated in the program, ugh).

        • Anon

          I remember one non-Catholic friend being shocked at a friend’s ceremony about people wearing short, tight, strapless dresses but nobody who was Catholic thought anything about it. Maybe it’s just NJ, idk. Nobody where I live cares about modesty.

      • Anon

        Generally, in a Catholic church, you are supposed to cover your shoulders. A light wrap on top of the dress would be acceptable.

      • Never too many shoes...

        Right? I got married in a strapless dress in a Catholic church and nobody said a word.

        • Anon

          Also got married in a strapless dress in a Catholic church and have been to countless Catholic weddings with brides/bridesmaids/guests in strapless dresses…

    • Anon

      JCP is closing. Is there one at a mall by you or check online? It might be worth a look?

    • Abby

      I love Lulus for all things dresses and I think you could definitely find a dress under $100!

    • Anonymous

      I would do Rent the Runway a week or two before. The website is showing a ton of options right now

      • Dress Help? OP

        Ooh this is a great idea! Haven’t really thought about RTR in ages but this would seem like the perfect scenario for me.

        And thanks to everyone else about their advice re: dress types for church weddings! I’m not religious and the weddings I’ve gone to in the past several years have been held at gardens/wineries with really laidback vibes.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      Honestly, if jewel tones are your jam, there’s nothing wrong with wearing them in the summer, but if you want a more summer-ish color and pink and yellow aren’t good choices, I’d opt for light blue or maybe lilac. And if I were dressing for a wedding in a church, I’d try to find something with short sleeves, knee length, and not too much cleavage.

  5. Blueberries

    How do you figure out your plan for political giving? For charities, I’ve settled into a routine of charities I support and the levels I feel comfortable giving, but I’m having trouble forming a plan for political giving.

    My financial situation is pretty ordinary for this board. I’d love to focus on where my dollars would make the most difference. I have really nuanced political and economic views that I feel don’t matter at all in this moment—my priority this year is just getting Democrats elected.

      • Anonymous

        I just started this. My parents have been donating to them – my dad said he figured he may need them to be the nation’s lawyer :-)

    • Anon

      I give to certain feminist causes and then the main candidates of interest. It’s not the most nuanced, but at least right now, my priorities are electoral and fighting misogyny wherever I can

    • Equestrian Attorney

      Honestly, I have just been donating to the Biden campaign. I donated my COVID relief check (I was fortunate not to need it since my job has been stable) and then I set up a smaller monthly donation. I’m not the biggest Biden fan per se, but right now my priority is to get him in office in November. If you have any local candidates you like, that’s also a good avenue.

    • Anonymous

      I am in a red state turning purple. I give to Dems in races they can win, esp. where a win will flip a district, even if not my own, since I am in a very reliably Dem district and there has been no need to even campaign for federal office here. I have now learned that if you give enough once to someone, you will be on a list that gets distributed and you will get personal appeals from candidates forever after. I have shifted most of my charitable giving to political in the past 4 years, though the pandemic changed that a bit.

    • Allie

      I’d give to local races, which don’t get the attention or funding they need, or to an aggregator like the DNC or Emily’s list, which do provide a lot of needed services to the local races.

    • Anon

      Black Voters Matter. They support black candidates, help fight voter suppression and get people to vote.

    • Anon

      Give to candidates in your more local races! Like your local municipal government, state legislature, etc.

  6. Could someone explain health insurance to me

    I know this is stupid, but I’m asking it anyway. I’m dealing with having PPO insurance rather than an HMO for the first time in decades. I go in for a physical and the normal bloodwork, which is supposed to be covered by my insurer. Two of the tests–normal, part of standard bloodwork for a physical–have costs higher than what has been negotiated with the insurer, so I have to pay. Am I honestly just supposed to go into every encounter with the health system in this country not knowing exactly what’s being done and if I’m going to owe money afterwards? I mean, at the HMO *everything* was covered by preventative care. As best I understand, I now have to figure out what’s being done ahead of time, including getting all the codes, go to the cost estimator, and then still have no idea what’s being charged. This is insane.

    • Annony

      I’m very sorry to say this but yes, this is how it works. You might also go to a doctor who is in network, but they send your labwork to a lab that is out of network and … surprise! Or you are in a hospital that is in network but you are visited by a doctor who is not in your network and … surprise! And this happens to people who have “good” / employer sponsored plans.

    • Anonymous

      I have my medical provider contact the insurance company let me know what my portion would be in writing before any tests, etc. are done. My provider has been amazing at doing this. The provider has also waived the difference many times. It is worth a conversation with the billing department of your doctor’s office.

    • Anon

      If the provider is in-network, they are not allowed to ask you to make up the difference between what they charge and what the insurance pays. You should only pay your co-pay or percentage, subject to your annual deductible. If they’re charging you the delta between network payment and original charge, report them to the insurer.

      Also call the provider’s billing department and tell them they can’t do that. You’d be surprised and how many billing departments try to get away with stuff and then cave on the slightest pushback.

    • Coach Laura

      Yeah, the costs are unknown. The only known in a PPO is your copay, your prescription cost, your out of pocket max and your deductible, if any.

      I have always used my Flexible Spending Account funds for this, that way I budget for it from every pay check and always have a “slush fund” of money ready to pay a dental bill of $3000 for a crown or an unplanned ER trip. Calculate monthly Rx (birth control pills, anti-depressants etc) x 12, then perhaps 4 co-pays and $100 for extra costs. The problem with this is the FSA fund is usually use it or lose it. You would have to have over the counter drugs like contact lens solution and antihistamines prescribed by a doctor and spend down the FSA at the end of the year if you have funds left.

      Or if you have a HSA, those don’t ever expire and you can roll the funds over to successive years’ costs.

      I liked PPOs better, though I always had a FSA account to go with it, because it was cheaper on a monthly basis. YMMV.

  7. Anonymous

    I am sick of my butt showing when I go swimming or boating, and sick of worrying about my butt showing. I’m loving the idea of a rash guard or tankini top with board shorts – not sure about a swim skirt. Anyone have any they like? I saw some on athleta or similar but they seemed pricey, and I wanted to know if they’re worth it.

      • Anonymous

        I went the skirt route when I was always bending over to wrangle with babies. I have never gone back (sun coverage mainly) and now my tween is wanting skirts. They are cute!

      • Anonymous

        FWIW, I like the “mini” swim skirts. The longer ones were too much wet heavy fabric for me and float up in the water. The shorter ones are more straight and just tend to cover vs float up and are less heavy when wet.

        • Cat

          +1. The swim mini is my MIL’s favorite. It grazes over the hips but isn’t in the way when swimming.

    • anon

      Check out Lands End. They always have sales. Their board shorts also come with or without panties, whichever you prefer.

    • AnonATL

      Lands End has been having a summer sale, including lots of more conservatively cut swim bottoms. They have traditional bikinis all the way to a legging/skirt combo on the other end of the spectrum.
      I’ve been pleased with the fit and quality of mine.

    • busybee

      Following with interest. I despise the fact that it seems like all bathing suits now cut halfway across my butt. No I don’t want to show my cheeks to the world! I have a swim skirt from Athleta that I like. I have several Athleta items that have held up really well over the years. Athleta usually has a good sale in August so you might find something at a more comfortable price point if you’re willing to wait a little.

    • SmallLawAtl

      Garnet Hill has their swim skirt that on sale for $24. I have one in solid black that covers nicely without looking too frumpy.

      • Layla

        +1 to Athleta. I wear their rash guard tank and their Sand Sprint swim shorts over a bikini top or sports bra.

    • Anonymous

      I do TYR swim shorts with a long sleeve rash guard — mostly for sun protection. I really like both.

    • Anonymous

      I wear board shorts over my swim bottoms. I have some from O’Neill, Volcom, and Roxy. Sizing does not seem consistent across brands. I think all of them were in the $20-30 range.

      T9’s latest catalogue had some cute board shorts with a built-in liner. T9’s pricing is higher, but the quality is excellent. Their sizing can run pretty curvy/matronly, though, and doesn’t always work with a straight, athletic figure.

    • busybee

      I just checked and it looks like Athleta’s sale was in JULY this year, not AUGUST so please ignore my advice to wait for a sale *facepalm

    • Eager Beaver

      I know it sounds a little insane, but I have a swim romper that is perfect for this and I think it’s pretty cute. You may want to check them out.

    • Ellen

      Welcome to the Tuchus Club! You are in good company here in the HIVE, as our jobs require us to sit most of the day, and this means sizeable tuchii. Personally, if you have tried to spot reduce (including walking 10,000 steps a day) or Peloton or other stuff without success, you can always get a swimsuit with a skirt, or if that doesn’t cover enough, just wear short shorts, which will do more to cover for you, tho of course not in the swimming pool. Whenever I go to a pool, I have short shorts on, and only if I am comforatable showing my tuchus to those who are there, will I take my shorts off. At the manageing partner’s house, everyone is already familiar with my tuchus, so it is not an issue. If I am looking to meet new people, I will NOT go into the water, so I will NOT have a bikini under my short shorts, so there is no chance of anyone who does not know me seeing my tuchus. I do not know if this will work for you, but it has worked pretty well for me.

    • Coach Laura

      I like Title Nine’s swim wear, tops and shorts. I also like Columbia’s quick dry shorts – as someone else said – I have three pair. I just ordered a rash guard from Lands End but haven’t got it yet so can’t speak to it.

    • Thanks, it has pockets!

      I have some vintage-style Esther Williams bathing suits and I love them, my bum always feels sufficiently covered.

    • Airplane.

      Ha maybe this is the trashy Miami Beach in me beasting out but I’m in my 30’s and LOVE the bikini trends that is cut high and shows half the butt. And I still buy inexpensive swimsuits from like a lulus because I like having a different one every day when I’m at the water.

  8. anonymous

    I am feeling irrationally angry today. I hate covid and how so many people have died and how it has messed up so many aspects of life. I’m angry at China and how this virus probably started from the wet markets where wild animals are being sold. Isn’t that how SARS started too? Of course no one has learned from the past.

    • Anon

      It’s OK to be angry, but it’s not OK to be prejudiced against China (we don’t need anything in the “Kung flu” family or “ew gross they eat wild animals” camp). That isn’t acceptable. Zoonotic diseases can arise anywhere and if any country should be blamed for poorly controlling this epidemic, it’s the United States.

      I post this not to scold, but because I was horrified when my alma mater told people that it was “understandable“ to be “afraid of Asian people“ during this pandemic. I decided not to let similar attitudes go unchallenged.

      • Anon

        I read that China just imposed major restrictions in an area that has a bad outbreak of 100 cases. I get that they’re an authoritarian country, but we won’t even wear masks which is why we have 70,000 new cases every day. Being mad at China is not productive when we’ve just decided to let it happen here.

      • Anon

        I think it’s perfectly acceptable to angry at the Chinese government for their response/cover up/falsifying information early. That’s very different than being angry at every person in China. You can be mad at China and the United States for their botched responses. That’s perfectly acceptable.

        • Anon

          That’s not how the OP phrased it with the focus on the wet markets. It was reminiscent of the blame and judgment people placed on “bushmeat” during the Ebola epidemic in 2014.

          • Anon

            I am okay at being angry about endangered species being trapped and hunted to feed them to the wealthy as part of a wooy medical tradition; this is really different from people hunting for sustenance. But it’s also a problem that 99% of people aren’t contributing to in any way and can’t be blamed for.

      • Anon

        “and if any country should be blamed for poorly controlling this epidemic, it’s the United States”

        This is not true.

        • Anonymous

          The numbers speak for themselves though.

          We didn’t lock down like others. We don’t use masks like others. We still haven’t shifted into PPE the way we need to (my dentist told me yesterday he only has enough to go one more month and is freaking–that’s simply not OK). We keep bars open unlike others. And we’re more mobile than others. (Where we’re not blocked now). All of that is lack of control.

    • BeenThatGuy

      I certainly have felt unsettling rage from time to time since the pandemic started. Projecting my anger at the virus, or China, or people making what I see as risky choices never made me feel better. What’s helped me is focusing on what I can control: my environment, where/when/if I leave the house or being prepared for multiple worst case scenarios at anytime. Getting quality sleep, eating well and exercise has helped me too.

      • Anon

        Yes! Completely agree. Often I think, “Everything I can control is going kind of well!” and that actually helps a little. I control getting enough rest, keeping myself physically and mentally strong, wearing a mask and not being a COVID spreader, etc. etc. etc. And that matters a lot!

      • OP

        You’re right. I’m just having a bad day and just angry and grumpy. Directing my anger at China or the US government really is not helpful. Good point about focusing on things I can control. I think I was starting to feel out of control and my feelings spiraled.

    • Anon

      I feel you on the angry part. I got so mad yesterday and was like I HATE THIS FREAKING PANDEMIC! Besides the fear and anxiety, it is just inconvenient, annoying, and lonely! And it’s gone on far too long and there seems to be no end in sight. I am dreading winter months. At least now it’s easy to get outside.

      But hold off on the China blame. Blame China for other things like what they’re doing to the Uighur Muslims, but the pandemic itself is not their fault. Pandemics are not a surprise. They happen regularly over the course of history. We (the US) should have been better prepared for it.

      • Anon

        +2

        This is why I asked yesterday for tips to stop buying products made in China. Because of what they’re doing to the Uighurs

      • Anon

        China is absolutely to be blamed for covering up the virus and misleading the world. They banned travel to and from Wuhan with in China and let international travel continue. It is amazing that China and CCP are given such an easy pass here. I don’t buy products made in China due to rogue CCP and Chinese people’s compliance with it.

        • Anon

          I disagree that Chinese people are at fault; they were absolutely terrified by both this pandemic and some of the measures taken to combat it. Ordinary Chinese people also were warning as many people in other countries as they had contact with from the start.

    • Anon for this

      As someone who grew up in China, wet markets are a very broad term. Even in bigger cities, most people do not have access to western style supermarkets. Wet markets are all they have, which just means a less fancy version of the farmers’ market with meat/fish and they sometimes kill the animals there versus beforehand. I also note that Tsukiji Market (the famous Tokyo fish market) is also technically a wet market.
      I totally agree that it is stupid to eat bats but 99% of Chinese people do not eat bats. It is like if fried butter causes a pandemic (versus just high blood pressure or other chronic diseases), and everyone is like Americans are so weird eating fried butters. I am sure you’d tell me, no most people do not eat that.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you for this. Helps explanation why closing wet markets is not the answer.

      • Airplane.

        Thank you for saying this. I hate when westerners who have and always have and probably always will have access to a grocery store say things like “wet markets need to be shut down. It’s so simple” and act like that’s a obvious solution. I get the pandemic is terrible but this lashing out without context and logic and understanding of other cultures and countries is bad for all of us.

    • Anon

      I thought it was generally accepted at this point it likely originated in a virus lab in Wuhan? No?

      • Anonymous

        Whether that’s so or the wet market scenario, Trump could have kept it out of the US or from ravaging the US … obviously it is the Trump virus for Americans.

      • Anon

        Jeez, I did not realize thinking that was that controversial. I am not pro Trump & I do not watch Fox News.
        TBH it made me feel better thinking it was an accidental release from a lab than a wet market, b/c I would assume procedures at a lab could be extremely tightened up & more regulated going forward (since every country including China has an incentive for this not to happen again) vs. wet markets where at least from what I’ve read shutting them down in any meaningful way is not going to happen for a variety of reasons.
        But noted!

        • Anonymous

          I’m glad you asked, and thanks for this … it’s nice to know it was a misunderstanding

        • Anon

          I think the conspiracy is that this is true and it’s being covered up. It was a recognized possibility that was taken seriously from the start, but it looks like it’s not what happened. It’s also not just something people in the west came up with out of xenophobia; people in China were concerned that this could have happened as well.

          • Anon

            Thank you for this. I’m the poster of the original. I hear loud and clear that this is no longer the prevailing thought (maybe it never was), but I do think to suggest that I am a totally nusto Fox TV watcher per the responses b/c I even thought that was still a possibility seems a little over the top to me. It was a real speculation that people had.

            I didn’t say it was an evil cover up plot (cue my best Dr. Evil impression), in my mind if it was a possibility it was that it accidentally happened (although to be fair I didn’t expressly convey the “accidental” part in my original comment). Which I don’t think is any more anti-China than blaming a wet market, but I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong.

          • Anon

            I don’t even know if the dust has fully settled; it can be hard to tell if something was an accident (for example, if a naturally occurring virus escaped the lab, that would be a lot harder to recognize than if a clearly engineered variant with a “signature” escaped the lab; I think what we’ve ruled out is the latter possibility so far).

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I think what is frustrating is that the wet markets are open again. I definitely blame China for the wet markets and the misinformation/inaction at the beginning of the pandemic, and then selling safety gear to other countries as a ploy to seem generous. Spain and the UK were relying on tests manufactured in China that ended up being defective. And, of course, their treatment of Muslims.

      All countries, but especially China and the United States have to switch to a vegetarian diet to prevent future pandemics. The bonus is that it is also healthier.

      • Anon

        +100
        China covered up and mislead the world. They even said and WHO endorsed that there was no human to human transmission till late January when it was very clear that was the case. China didn’t allow any international panel to do an investigation about the origins of the pandemic instead resorted to bullying tactics against the countries which called for an open investigation.
        Being angry against China and taking actions such as boycotting their products in response to their handling of pandemic is 100% justified.

        • Anonymous

          What? I think the response you’re agreeing with was sarcastic. Are you going to become a vegetarian too?

          • Anon

            A lot of people already are and being disgusted at wet markets (and those who use them/turn a blind eye) from a cruelty standpoint is 100% justified.

    • Abby

      I normally avoid these topics on here, but I’d just add on to be careful when saying you’re angry at China. For many, it’s a quick jump from being angry at the Chinese government, to the people in China, to Chinese or Asian everywhere. Hearing friends of family (mainly my inlaw’s friends) say they blame the Chinese, is pretty hurtful (being Chinese myself) even though I was born in America and my parents are originally from Taiwan

      • Nuance

        When someone blames the US government for failure to contain the pandemic, I do not take that as blame on myself as an American. When someone blames the Chinese government from failing to contain the pandemic, they are not blaming you as a Chinese person. It is absolutely China’s fault. It is absolutely not any individual person’s fault.

      • Anon

        I mean people blame the US for stuff all the time and people get that that doesn’t mean they are blaming individual Americans. I’m not disputing that what you describe happens but it’s also not reasonable to say that you can never blame a country for anything because it might lead to the jump you described.

        • Awayt

          I have a lot of thoughts about this. 1) There’s a lot of racism that’s hidden behind messages like ugh wet markets because the underlying unspoken message is that “those people” are uncivilized, unclean and how dare they be poor and/or have different culinary and cultural practices. Like the poster above said, most Chinese people do NOT eat bats or other stuff you wouldn’t. Pork is actually the most popular meat. Also the whole animal rights, environmental rights thing is so often used as a shield for socially accepted racism. There are legitimate criticisms to be had, but I’ve personally dealt with so many racists that hide behind those issues that it makes me extremely wary. It’s akin to people just losing their minds and got overly angry over the blm looting and that was the point in the conversation where they decided to get involved. Ie legitimate concern but level of anger huge red flag. 2) People don’t separate the Chinese Govt from Chinese people in American discourse. They just don’t. That’s not the reality. that’s not a privilege that Chinese or Asian (because sometimes people don’t differentiate – and that leads to a really imo sad dynamic of intra-Asian hate) people have in this country. See above comment about also disliking Chinese people because they supposedly support the ccp. See every pew poll that surveyed views of certain nationalities by others over time, and compare them to periods of political tension and relative non-tension. We are susceptible to those dynamics. And Let me ask you this, have you ever so much as tried to change a local bylaw? What makes you think Chinese people aren’t protesting? Or that it’s so easy to do so? An interesting research study that came out recently suggested that the group of Chinese students studied became more patriotic and more supportive of the ccp after studying in the US. And that is a really unfortunate trend because these are probably the wealthiest, most pro-US kids, and they end up completely disillusioned and even more supportive of the ccp. I don’t know why. But I suspect the limitations of understanding around china’s sociopolitical systems to just : they make cheap things, pollute the environment, and are nefarious spies etc etc without understanding or attempts to understand the context, is probably key. 3) Asians have been targets of an alarming uptick in racist attacks since covid19. A few days ago an 89 year old grandmother was set on fire in nyc. Not only do Asian Americans have to deal with the same fears for our health and that of our families, we also have to fight the ignorance and hate. I guess what I’m trying to say is, try to gauge where your anger is coming from. Try to put yourselves in others shoes. Words matter.

  9. Homeowner Question

    I have two roof leaks in my house, with the contractor quoting me $5k to fix them. I’m a relatively new homeowner- is this something that I get my homeowners insurance to reimburse? Or is homeowners insurance something like car insurance, in that you don’t report the little things so that your premiums don’t go up?

    • Anon

      The latter. Don’t put in a homeowners’ claim if it’s basically affordable. In this case, 2 leaks in different places would most likely count as 2 claims (like 2 car accidents), and you definitely want to avoid multiple claims if at all possible.

    • Anonymous

      Homeowners insurance will only come into play if the damage was caused by a covered event. So a storm did the damage, a tree fell, etc. If it’s just normal wear & tear, homeowners will not be involved.

    • Nesprin

      Sorry nope- hoi doesnt cover maintenance or damage due to lack thereof. Hoi is for breakins, fires, earthquakes, injuries on your property etc.

    • Anonymous

      What type of roof do you have? Where I live, even the fanciest homes have asphalt shingles, and the cost to replace the roof is not much more than $5,000. I think ours was $7,000.

      • Anon

        I live in Pittsburgh and quotes I’ve gotten for new shingle roofs start at $15K. We also need box gutters, so that will bring us up around $20K. I’ve been saving for two years already, hoping to get the roof done next spring. We don’t have a fancy home, just an old one that is three stories high with a steep roof pitch, which could explain the higher cost.

      • Aunt Jamesina

        Fixing leaks can often involve far more structural work than just replacing shingles. Depending on the leak, $5k doesn’t sound crazy.

        • Anonymous

          That’s usually taken care of during a roof replacement, though. If she’s got multiple leaks, unless there was a single event that caused the damage (tree falling on the roof, etc.), that’s a sign that her roof is near the end of its life. I wouldn’t waste $5K fixing a roof that I was going to have to replace within a few years.

    • TheElms

      IMO homeowner’s insurance is for house fires, floods (if covered), trees falling on your house, drunk idiots driving a car into your house, significant theft, etc.

    • Jules

      Did you get a home warranty when you bought the house? That is the type of insurance that would cover things like this. It got me a new furnace, a new AC system AND a new hot water heater 2-3 years after I bought my house, and the premiums didn’t go up significantly from year to year.

      • Anonymous

        Whoa, my experience with a home warranty is that they want to continue to fix stuff rather than replace. And use companies with not so great reputations at that

  10. Hollis

    My normal neutral eye shadow palette (Tarte rainforest after dark) is discontinued, so I’m coming here to see if anyone can recommend another palette where you use most if not all of the colors for daytime/work. I don’t need a palette necessarily so if you have individual brands and colors for a subtle “barely there makeup” look, I would appreciate it since the selection is overwhelming. Thanks!

    • CountC

      Check out the Urban Decay N a k e d (not sure if that catches the filer) Pallettes.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I have the original, the rose gold, and the cherry. About half of the original shades would work for a subtle look (depending on your skin tone which half of the shades would work) IMO.

    • anne-on

      I really like Viseart for eyeshadow palettes – their ‘sultry muse’ option is great – I wouldn’t wear all of it, but I do use most of the colors.
      I’ve tried TooFaced/Huda/Urban Decay and there was a LOT of fallout (the shadow flaked and was just messy). I’ve heard good things about the Charlotte Tillbury ones as well as the Dior quads. I can’t get myself to pay for the PatMcGrath ones but those are supposed to be amazing. At this point in my lazy quarantine phase I just use the Laura Mercier caviar eye color sticks in a neutral shimmery shade to ‘color in’ my eyelids and call it a day.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        I have a Dior quad – can’t remember the name, sorry, but it’s great quality. They have a few assortments of colors with some nice neutrals – mine has a dark grey, a light beige, a pinkish beige, and a champagne sparkle.

        • Aunt Jamesina

          +1 I have the Backstage Eye Reviver quad and I love it (looks like it’s only available at Saks right now). I’m able to use it for both natural looks and more intense ones when needed and I basically haven’t touched the rest of my eyeshadow since I got it.

    • anon

      I bought the Urban Decay Naked Basics palette a few weeks ago and wish I’d done it years ago.

    • Makeup

      Tarts Tartelette In Bloom — all work appropriate, great pigmentation and staying power

      • Kitten

        I was also going to recommend this one :)

        I wear it almost everyday, and even use the darker shades as eyeliner with an angled liner brush. It’s 39 USD full price which isn’t bad for the quality and amount of product, in my opinion.

        If you want something super compact, I also recommend the Natasha Denona mini nude eyeshadow palette.

    • Carmen Sandiego

      Tarte Amazonian Clay eye palette is my #1 go to for daily wear. Close second is Tarte in Bloom palette.

      • Carmen Sandiego

        I also saw that you would be interested in singles. You can mix/match your own palette with singles from Anastasia Beverly Hills. I like Baby Cakes and Buon Fresco.

    • Anonymous

      I really like ColourPop eye shadow – staying power, very blendable, no fallout, made in US, price is very low for high quality. You can build your own palette. There are tons of options. I built one with all matte neutrals. It makes for easy reordering of the most-used colors.

  11. Apple Watch

    Can someone sell me on the apple watch?

    I’m an iPad / iPhone person. While I love my classic watch and it’s very sentimental to me, I’m increasingly wondering if I would enjoy the apple watch. I loved having a fitbit but it’s just one more dangle on my wrist (I’m a minimalist with wearable things) and always seems to be forgotten about after a while. Here are my questions:

    – emails/messages – do you really read things on that tiny screen? Is it sort of like a ‘beeper’ in that you see something come through, so them you go to your phone or computer to respond on a larger device?
    – HRM/fitness tracker – there’s no chest strap for the HRM. I workout a lot and would like this data. Is it reasonably accurate?
    – besides telling time, the above two bullets are the biggest functionalities. Is there anything else I might like or dislike about it?

    Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      If you aren’t interested, you aren’t interested, but I like and use my Apple watch for the following – fitness tracking, finding my iPhone (honestly, that may be it’s biggest use), being able to see and respond to texts or answer the phone without carrying my phone around (nice for kid activities and used to be nice for work events). You actually can respond to texts and answer calls on the Apple watch as opposed to other smart watches, which is a really nice feature in my book.

      • Anon Probate Atty

        Same! and yes, my biggest use is finding my iPhone, lol. But I also use it to track workouts, steps, set timers, answer quick texts, and stop/start/rewind podcasts and audiobooks. I would not say it’s a necessity, but I love mine.

    • Ribena

      Emails and messages – it depends on the message. If it’s “I’m nearly there” or “I’m running late” or “haha yes you’re right” or something like that, I can read it on my wrist just fine. If it’s more longer and complex I will take my phone out and I usually reply from my phone anyway.

      I use it a lot for functionality that hadn’t even occurred to me when I bought it –
      – you can make it ping your phone. Very useful for checking if I have it on my person when I’m locking my door, or for finding which stack of books it’s under or which room I’ve left it in.
      – timers! I use timers on my Watch ALL. THE. TIME. Either for things like cooking or housework, or time management in another scenario. “I’ll sit on this bench and read for half an hour before I go and get my groceries” or whatever – it means that I don’t have to clockwatch because I know my watch will alert me.
      – pausing or skipping backwards on podcasts or forwards on music. Absolutely fantastic for that.

    • NYC Girl

      I feel like apple watch is love/hate. I personally hated it b/c when I wanted to disconnect from my phone, I still got reminders to my wrist. (I know you can control which types of reminders get sent to the watch – so you could turn off work emails, for example, but during the work day I am tethered to my phone/computer and see all my emails anyway). Also you can technically respond to messages with voice dictation or a selection of pre-set responses, but I always had to pick up my phone anyway to respond. You can also technically answer calls but then you have to hold the watch up to your mouth like inspector gadget to talk.

      Meanwhile, my mom loves hers and likes it as a fitness tracker!

    • The original Scarlett

      I have no use for it now that I’m working at home. I’m not a fitness tracker type and I had it to subtly get texts while in long meetings at the office. Now that I don’t need that function so my I watch is collecting dust and my phone keeps bugging me to update it.

      • EB

        Yes, I haven’t charged mine in months, but when I was in the office I LOVED that I could check who texted or was calling very inconspicuously.

    • Anon

      I use it mostly for fitness tracking. I’m sure you can find articles about the accuracy of the heat rate monitor, but the one time that I wore my Apple Watch in an Orange Theory class, my watch and my OT heart rate monitor strap showed very similar heart rate numbers. The “calories burned” numbers, however, were very different. It’s not the most advanced tracker for running so if you want lots of running data, I’d look at another brand. I use it to read texts but usually switch to my phone to respond.

      • givemyregards

        Was going to say that I borrowed my husband’s chest strap heart rate monitor during a workout to compare against my apple watch and they registered the exact same thing, but the calories burned were slightly different. I also use mine to read texts, but not e-mail. Love the timer, ability to fast forward through commercials on podcasts, record workouts, count my steps, etc. I actually use it more now that I’m at home than when I was in the office because I’m more concerned about getting steps in since I’m not doing the walk from the parking lot, walking to meetings, etc. etc.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve really liked it with working from home. I have an irrational hatred of ringing phones. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. My day is so much nicer now that my wrist vibrates when I have a phone call. An unexpected bonus is that I can now answer the phone when my phone isn’t within reach.

      I also like that I’m not so tethered to my phone. The watch reduces the “I must look at my phone at all times” anxiety. If something comes in, I will get a notification that I’m not likely to miss, and I can figure out if it’s worth searching for my phone. To that end (because I’m always leaving my phone somewhere) the find my iphone feature saves me SO MUCH TIME that I would otherwise spend searching high and low.

      • OP

        Ooooh. Your last paragraph actually sounds incredibly appealing. I’m always chasing my toddler and don’t always have pockets on my gym shorts so I put my phone down and yea…. I’m very “on” with work at all hours these days so that in and of itself seems really appealing to me.

      • Anon

        Doesn’t it mean that you’re more tethered to the watch than you were to the phone, though? It seems like there isn’t the option to truly unplug unless you take off the watch, which it sounds like most people don’t do much.

        • Anonymous

          Not the person you’re responding to, but I guess it depends on how “unplugged” you want to be. I don’t put email notifications on my watch and it’s not connected to my work number. I can put my phone away and thus avoid the habit of opening it and scrolling social media. I don’t mind being “tethered” to calls/texts, because I a) don’t get that many and b) when I do, I usually like to respond relatively quickly. I’m not on big group threads or other scenarios where I’d be annoyed by constant notifications.

        • anon

          Wearing the watch feels less burdensome than carrying around a phone though. I also don’t waste my downtime scrolling mindlessly on the smaller screen, which is my version of “unplugged.” To go fully off the grid, you can easily turn on airplane mode(while still retaining the watch, music, and fitness tracking features).

          • givemyregards

            +1 – when I wear my watch, I look at my phone way less (particularly while driving back when I was commuting before COVID). I’ll just glance at it when a text comes in, maybe respond, and then go back to what I was doing. On my phone, I’ll respond to the text and then spend 10 minutes browsing instagram/twitter.

    • Anonymous

      I am actually using my Apple watch more now that I’m WFH than I did before, probably because I am working out on my own instead of taking classes and because I’m walking a lot more. Here are the functions I use:

      – Hourly stand reminders, which I turned off when I was working in the office because they were disruptive
      – Weather
      – Built-in Workouts app to pace walks
      – Third-party app to time and pace interval runs
      – Another third-party app to time stretches
      – Looking at daily activity summary, ignoring the rings because the goals are mostly not customizable

      Functionality that I used in the Before Times:
      – Remote control of iPhone camera
      – Turn-by-turn direction reminders, mostly while walking (I found them distracting while driving)

      Functionality my teenager uses regularly:
      – Finding her phone between the couch cushions, etc.

      Functionality that I have turned off:
      – Heart rate monitor–it is not terribly accurate, I don’t base my workouts on this, and I worry about the fact that there doesn’t seem to be any research into the safety of prolonged close-range exposure to that light on the exact same patch of skin
      – E-mail, phone, text, and other app notifications

  12. Anon

    I think we’ve said on this board that there people who make do with what they have and there are people who will upgrade to something that will make even a minor improvement (I think it was based off of a post about a tea kettle with a targeted spout)?

    If you’re in the first camp, what’s something you did upgrade and was worth it? If you’re in the second camp, what upgrade was not worth it?

    • Anon

      I’m in the first group. Sending my extremely fuzzy dog to the groomer for her bath is my game changer ‘upgrade’. When I do it myself, I can only do it if there will be at least 2 days of hot, sunny weather. Otherwise, she doesn’t dry completely and her coat smells like sour laundry. The groomer has a forced air dryer that blasts most of the water and a lot of loose hair away. If I planned on having more than one of my breed, I would purchase my own and go back to DIY.

    • anon

      I’m in the first camp generally, but upgrading tools/ buying the correct tools for a job is always worth it.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in the first camp. For me, the improvement that was worth it was our electric blanket (I know, weird to think about when it’s 95 degrees outside!) . We have a sunbeam one that has two separate zones each with 10 heat levels to chose from, so I can crank my side up and my husband can have his off completely. It’s so, so, so nice to slide into a pre-warmed bed in the winter.

      Also, self installing LED light strips under our kitchen cabinets. Huge upgrade for our work surface.

      • Anon

        Do you remember which brand of lights you used? I definitely want to to do that in my kitchen.

        • Anonymous

          It was the brand “Commercial Electric” from Home Depot. I think the pack I got was around $30. One day, we want to do a full kitchen remodel, so this was a good project to make our kitchen a little more user friendly for us while we save up.

    • Anon

      I don’t think everyone falls into one camp or the other. I think I’m a combination of both. For example I generally don’t upgrade technology (my phone/laptop/ipad work just fine without the latest improvements, I’ll upgrade them when they die) or my car or other “big ticket” items. But I’m a huge proponent of updating small things in life if you use them a lot. Deciding that spending money on fixing small annoyances was worth it has had a huge impact on my happiness. Recent-ish examples include (1) upgrading my closet hangers – I now have all black velvet hangers and my closet is so much more streamlined/pleasing to look at and my clothes don’t get tangled, small upgrade to get rid of plastic and dry cleaner hangers was 100% worth it, (2) new salad dressing holder (my old one had a top that leaked and it would make me annoyed literally every time I used it), (3) wide mouth mason jars to replace regular ones (much easier to fill and again so many less spills in the kitchen, meaning I’m more likely to actually use them for soups and breakfasts, (4) new matching glass food storage to replace my old mismatched tupperware which made me angry every time it toppled over in my cabinet or leaked or didn’t seal property and dried out in the refrigerator

      • anon

        This is how I approach things, too. I replace big-ticket items infrequently. I just don’t get a ton of joy out of a new phone or car or whatever, so that’s pretty easy. I am more likely to upgrade household stuff that gets used daily. Also, I became MUCH happier with my wardrobe when I adopted a buy quality/buy less mentality. My fast fashion purchases almost always have some fatal flaw that makes me want to replace them. I rarely experience that with my pricier items (partly because the quality is better, but also because I think much harder about the purchase).

    • Anon

      Ha, that was my comment on the tea kettle post. I’m irrationally pleased you remembered it :)

      I’m in the first camp, but I did find that upgrading to a better vacuum was worth it. The old one was still functional, but it didn’t work well on the carpet we have in our new apartment. Otherwise, almost everything in my apartment is old – inherited furniture, IKEA stuff I got on the curb or at the new IKEA my first year in college, old art, etc. I still wear a fleece I got in eighth grade and it’s in great shape despite heavy use.

    • Anon

      I’m generally the first camp but got a lot of COVID overtime and splurged on a pair of Allbirds. I loved them at first but after only a few months of moderate wear, they’re now giving me blisters. So not worth it.

    • Anon

      I love this question!

      I get irrational pleasure out of having things as long as possible. But when I got divorced about 2 years ago, I left behind almost all of the shared housewares and furniture and got all new, nice stuff. The upgrades that have been totally worth it — a few beautiful vintage furniture pieces (MCM credenza, desk, dresser), glass doors on my Ikea bookcases (with gold tone handles added, from the kitchen section of Ikea), all-clad skillet, staub pot. Also getting some art work professionally framed/reframed.

      But my laptop (2012), mouse (2009), phone (2018) are all on the older side for technology and I have no desire to replace them until they break. Many of my clothes are 5+ years old. I recently retired a pair of jeans that I bought in 2010 when they developed holes in the seat that couldn’t be patched. However, I did recently replace a 12 year old pair of birkenstocks with new ones and that was great — I got the old ones on sale and in retrospect the size wasn’t perfect for me, but the new ones are.

      • Senior Attorney

        Okay, you just inspired me to upgrade my vegetable peeler. Mine is dull and it’s been bugging me so a new one is on its way to me!

        • Aunt Jamesina

          I did this two years ago. I love my Jonas peeler by Linden Sweden, I got the one with the soft handle. I muddled through for almost a decade with a crappy one, and I’m not sure why I ever waited!

    • Anon

      One of the silly things I upgraded was one of those shower caddies/organizers that hangs from the shower head. After being frustrated that the cheap ones I was buying from HomeGoods kept getting rusty, I went out and bought the most expensive one there is ( from Simple Human and the thing was like $80). It’s wonderful and ginormous. I can even fit my pump bottles of shampoo from Costco in it. Really makes showering so much nicer!

      • Anonymous

        agree on all simple human products. We have one of the corner shower caddys that has a tension rod pushing against the shower floor and ceiling. It creates three shelves and two hooks in the corner of our shower. We’ve had ours since 2014 and it is super sturdy and hasn’t rusted. The home good ones always rusted on the way out the store basically.

      • pugsnbourbon

        This is timely – I can’t ignore the rust on my HomeGoods shower caddy anymore! I was thinking of getting a silicone one, but I’ll check out Simple Human too.

      • Silly Valley

        SimpleHuman trashcans are also relatively pricey, but so worth it for me – they’re sturdy, they look good, and they just work. I think I’ve had my kitchen trashcan/recycling bin from them for like 10 years now.

    • anon a mouse

      I’m definitely in the first camp, and my Dyson hair dryer is amazing. It makes me so happy every time I use it. Also, it was purchased several years ago, but I love my Miele vacuum. It’s so lightweight and easy to use, and does a great job. It was my first major adult appliance purchase and I love remembering the feeling I had when I brought it home.

    • anon

      I probably mostly fall into the first category, but there are a few upgrades that I’ve loved:
      -upgrading my activewear. This is a slow process since activewear can be super pricey, but I’m generally happier with the nicer stuff.
      -a better hair dryer makes a huge difference!
      -Replacing the cheap blender with a ninja blender.

      Next big thing is upgrading my car, which I’m having a hard time justifying as my current car is totally fine.

    • Anon100

      I mostly fall into the first camp for most things, but will upgrade for tech toys. For example, I’m totally cool with using my 15-year old rice cooker that only has an “on/off” switch but did I have to buy a Samsung Galaxy S10 phone last year when there are other perfectly fine Android phones out there? No, but I like

      The one thing that has made a MAJOR improvement in my life is a Contigo water bottle with a built-in pop-up straw that I bought at Target. I had been using water bottles with screw tops, but just never really liked the feeling of tipping my head back to drink. With the built in straw, I drink plenty of water now, especially during this heatwave!

    • Senior Attorney

      Yes! And they were playing the funeral live on NPR and I listened and cried all the way to work this morning. (Yes, it took a while to get out of the house…)

  14. Horse Crazy

    I have a job interview scheduled in 2 weeks, for a position with a different agency, but in the same building in which I currently work. I am working remotely now, but I went by the office to pick up mail last week, and I saw that the office for which I’m interviewing is not working remotely, and they are not wearing masks while they’re in the office (it’s only 2 people in the office, but still). Additionally, when the manager called to schedule my interview, he said he prefers it to be in person, but “if I really felt like I needed it”, it could be done over Zoom. He really made it sound like asking for a Zoom interview is a burden and not something he is in favor of. Here’s the catch – my current job ends in November, so I need a new job ASAP (I’m not contracted or anything – I can leave at any time). I only have one other application out right now. WWYD? I’m probably a 7 or 8 out of 10 interested in this potential job, but it’s definitely not worth it if they aren’t serious about COVID. Ughhhhhhhh.

    • Anonymous

      The interview process is a chance for you to learn whether the employer is a good fit for you, not just for you to convince the employer to give you a job. You have already learned what you need to learn–this employer is not taking COVID seriously. I wouldn’t bother moving forward with the interview process.

    • Anon

      Huge red flags. If they are this cavalier about COVID, what other aspects of the working environment be like? Will you get a guilt trip for taking vacation unless you “really felt like you needed it?” I’d say do the interview (via Zoom) but be hitting other opportunities hard.

    • anon

      Well, they’re clearly not serious about Covid, so you’ve decided that it’s not worth it to you.

      I’d apply to a lot more jobs.

    • Anon

      If you want to do the interview still, I’d ask directly what’s going on. “I was on your floor the other day and noticed no one was wearing masks, which is different from the universal mask-wearing we’re doing at my current office. Can you tell me more about the office’s approach to COVID?” I probably wouldn’t be that direct in most circumstances, but in this case, you NEED to get the most relevant information so you can do your job. You said there were only 2 people in the office – is it usually more?

      • Senior Attorney

        Depends on what their arrangement is. I’d go ahead and do the interview (via Zoom) and ask about it. Who knows? Maybe the two people live alone and are the only two people they interact with otherwise.

    • Horse Crazy

      Thanks, all. The two people in the office is normal (I would be replacing one of them who is retiring), but they are in a long hallway with many other offices, and they all have Dutch doors, so everything is open-air. I think I’m going to withdraw myself. Ugh.

      • Cat

        I wouldn’t withdraw either. The Dutch doors may actually be helpful if they are getting air out of the office you’d share with the other person. And perhaps they too would be willing to wear a mask if asked – perhaps those two just have a mutual arrangement.

  15. Anon

    Biking question! I’ve been biking to work for about a week and I love it. I’ve had my bike for probably 15ish years but hardly rode it in the last 8 or so years? My butt is so sore. How long do you chalk up for butt hurting to getting used to biking again and when do I give up and buy a new seat?

    Can’t remember if the bike seat bothered me this much when I used to ride it (though I didn’t ride it 2x/day, 5 days a week back then, so there was time to recover). I’m also a different size/shape than I was when I used to ride it (high school vs mid 20s).

    • Anon

      Are you wearing padded bike shorts? It will probably never get better without them.

      • Anon

        No – my work has no place to change so I commute in my office clothes.

        My commute is flat and only 3 miles so it’s not too sweaty

        • Equestrian Attorney

          I commuted to work in the bike a lot (pre-covid, my office is shut down now) and never wore padded bike shorts – I usually just wore my work pants unless it was a million degrees out. I do have a nice bike seat, but I think you might be able to get covers? The soreness goes away after a week or so in my experience. I forced myself to bike at a nice leisurely pace so I wouldn’t get sweaty.

          • Anon

            Yeah we have maybe 5 of us in my office (of 35 employees) who bike to work. We all wear our work clothes to commute in. Most of us only bike 15-30 mins each way

        • Anon OP

          Gotcha. Most bike seats are designed with limited padding with the assumption that bicyclists will wear padded shorts. Getting a padded seat cover will help a lot in this case!

          • Anon

            There’s a difference between support and padding. You want your seat to support you, which is why it’s important that your sit bones hit the seat properly. Padding that’s not well thought out can really interfere with this and also cause chafing in places you really don’t want to chafe. Any cushioning comes from elsewhere on the bike – the tires, suspension if any, the composition of the frame (steel vs aluminum vs carbon vs titanium or some combo of these materials). My most comfortable setup has almost no padding but the absolute perfect degree of support.

        • TheElms

          What about bike shorts under an aline skirt? You could just take them off in the restroom.

      • NOLA

        I bought padded bike shorts and didn’t feel like they made a difference. It mattered more that I sit back on my seat more.

    • NYC Girl

      I find it usually takes a few weeks after I get back into spinning/cycling for the but soreness to go away. If you’re only using the bike for commuting (and not racing or anything), then I would def upgrade to a more comfy seat!

    • CB

      I had a similar issue and someone here recommended making sure my sit bones were properly on the seat. This, plus tilting my seat back slightly, made an immediate difference.

    • New seat

      I switched out the seat that came with my bike to a woman’s specific one made by Specialized and it is amazing the difference that it made! The new one works much better with my sit bones. You may want to explore something similar in addition to a proper fitting.

  16. CBD oil

    Anyone on here use CBD oil for anxiety and actually think it helps? I want to explore that before I talk about more serious options with my therapist. I’d say I lean a little bit always anxious on a daily basis, and it can get severe, but I wouldn’t call it “crippling” on my everyday life…if that makes sense. If you do find it helpful, brands you recommend? Oil or gummies? Help a sister out, Lord knows I need it!

    • Anonymous

      My SO tried both the oil and the gummies and found them to be absolutely useless $200 bottles of off-tasting candy. YMMV.

    • AnonATL

      I used it for a while before getting pregnant and thought it did take the edge off for a while. Similar to what a glass of wine might do. I used the CBDistillery brand 500 mg drops maybe once a day if I was having a stressful day. It wasn’t like I took it every morning with my multivitamin, only as needed. I want to say I did some research on the best online retailers, and they were ranked fairly highly, but it was a while ago.
      The oil definitely has a hemp taste and burned my throat a little if I didn’t leave it under my tongue long enough. I chose oil because it was cheaper than any of the edibles, and I didn’t want to sink a bunch of money on something that may not work. Some places sell flavored oils in peppermint or other flavors to mask it, or I’ve read adding it to a cup of tea is nice. I usually just downed it and then took a chug of water or juice.

    • Anon4this

      I use it quite a bit since I can’t use cannabis during the day/at work/while driving, etc. I am a dedicated Floyd’s of Leadville user. I prefer the tincture because I think it works faster, but I also keep the gummies around as they are far easier to transport. For me, it makes a big difference. I will caution you to start with a very low dose and slowly increase!

    • emeralds

      It sounds like we might have similar levels of anxiety: I use CBD and it definitely helps me. Dunno whether or not it’s psychosomatic, and honestly if it is IDGAF. I usually compare it to the effect of going for an extra run or having a good yoga practice–it’s not a magic bullet, but for me it does take a noticeable amount of the edge off.

      I am currently taking a drop a day of the Urban Bio Pure Nano Drops Concentrated Nano Amplified CBD Additive, in my morning coffee. This is a quarantine-era ramp-up of my previous routine, which was rubbing some of their transdermal cream on my wrists if I felt extra-anxious or woke up at 3am and couldn’t fall back asleep. I’ve only ever used Urban Bio because I know someone who has worked with them, who I trust to report accurately on their quality control. I’ve never tried gummies.

  17. Anonymous

    I suspect there’s no answer/it isn’t possible but I’m someone who has recently (last 2-3 years) realized how passionate I am about economics and finance. Funny because I majored in those in college and liked them fine but was not THAT interested; in retrospect I think it’s because my school was a pipeline to NYC investment banking and the idea of doing spreadsheets for managing directors didn’t interest me. There were probably other job roles that would have interested me but at 22 (in 2002) I just wasn’t aware of them. Went off to law school. Did biglaw litigation (all financial services clients because I was in NYC) for a number of years and now with a financial regulator as a lawyer (not in NYC). I find myself geeking out for my own self (not because work requires it) regarding weekly jobless numbers or inflation rates or federal reserve press conferences or whatever. Is there any move to be made here that could put me professionally closer to these things? It wouldn’t happen at my agency — you’re either a lawyer or an accountant and there’s no flow back and forth between those positions. All I can think of is to keep an eye on/apply at the Federal Reserve but honestly there it’s the business analyst type positions that interest me more than the lawyer postings. Is this something that’s best kept as a “hobby”? Would you explore it thru networking?

    In terms of practical realities — I’m not tied to the government so I’ll take other private sector ideas if there are any especially in DC and Richmond. Also age cuts both ways here — I’m 40 which seems too old to make a change in one way vs. feeling like — this may be one of the last chances to make a change to what I want for the next few decades; and to me the benefit of being older now is that money isn’t as much of a concern now as it was. Obviously I’m not going to want to take a 50k job but it’s to the point now where a 20k pay cut for something I want isn’t as big of a deal.

    • Anon

      What about the policy research world? It’s a little more master’s and PhD focused, but I’m pretty sure places like Pew hire JDs.

    • Allie

      Second policy research if you’re geeking out about federal reserve press conferences. Policy research, think tanks, economic or research consulting firms

      • Anonymous

        I have a JD/MPP and work in policy research. Without a Ph.D. and research experience, it’s going to be hard for OP to break into the policy world unless she was a famous rock star in her previous position, in a field that’s relevant to the work of the policy org. For Ph.D.-level positions, she will be asked to do a job talk where she presents her own original research, similar to what you’d see at a faculty interview. Generally a JD is going to have a difficult time getting a Ph.D.-level position without also having significant training and experience in research methods. For a senior position, she’ll also need a lot of expertise in a particular subject matter area, and an extensive network of contacts and collaborators. If she has an incredibly impressive network and has a fair amount name recognition herself, some orgs will be dazzled enough to hire her in a senior role as a career pivot. For master’s-level positions in quantitative research, the JD will actually be a liability that OP must overcome with proof of her quant skills and evidence that she is actually interested in the work and won’t bail for a higher-paying position.

        Grant-making foundations are more apt to hire JDs, but those orgs don’t actually do quantitative research themselves.

    • Abby

      I work in finance at a big bank and we have a lawyer on our team as an adviser – I can share more details if you’re interested in emailing me: abbycorporette at gmail.

    • nuqotw

      What about becoming an antitrust attorney? I’m an economist who does stuff tangentially related to industrial organization and I sometimes imagine it would be fun to be on the legal side of it.

    • anon

      Fed employee here. You *definitely* want to network because the job postings are very bland and don’t always convey the real, interesting work that happens. Business analysts/financial services analysts have substantive, exciting work (if you already are interested in the topic). There also are different types of jobs at the Board (DC) vs the Reserve Banks (like Richmond). If you’ve been a lawyer at another regulator, you may be a good fit for a policy job – not drafting regulations but working to implement them and highlighting challenges, or connecting with the different groups to gain feedback on how things are actually working.

      • anon

        Another Fed employee here with a different perspective. I actually don’t know any ambitious, youngish people who are satisfied with the work that they’re doing (I’m at the Board). The monotony and bureaucracy are pretty soul-crushing and not at all what I thought I was signing up for. Reading Claudia Sahm’s scathing blog post and realizing that even our PhD economists (our prized possessions!) are also miserable was really heartbreaking.

    • Anon

      Have you lived in Richmond? I moved here two years ago and I hate it, just to throw that out there. If you like bigger cities, plentiful shopping (there isn’t even a Nordstrom here anymore), etc. then you won’t like it here. It just feels like one giant suburb. I’m constantly told it’s a “great place to raise your kids!” Well, I’m single and I don’t have kids, so.

      • Anonymous

        Ha yes I have lived in Richmond. I realize it feels like a giant suburb and once you’re out in Short Pump etc it IS a suburb. That to me is appealing. I know it isn’t for everyone though.

        • Anonymous

          There are not a lot of policy jobs in Richmond outside of state government. There is the Fed, though.

  18. Anon

    Ladies, how can I get my DH to wash his hands more thoroughly after using the restroom at home (#1)? Before COVID he never did it even though I pointed out he was touching the toilet handle to flush, which was germ ridden. Now post Covid he does do it, but I can hear him wash and it’s like a 3 second hand washing which I know is not adequate! I’m infuriated and exasperated, and we have a baby on the way in a few weeks – I’ve told him in no uncertain terms that he needs to fix this habit. If it matters, he’s hygienic and clean in all other respects, showers daily etc, it’s just this one issue which I am at my wits end at (and can’t really talk to anyone IRL about because it’s so embarrassing).

    • Vicky Austin

      Oh my God, you’re not the only one. Mine does this too. I really thought a pandemic would kick his ass into gear. Nope.

    • Anonymous

      You can’t. Men just don’t believe touching their man parts makes them dirty. It’s like touching greatness to them.

      • Anon

        Lol I gave up on arguing with him over the fact that he touches his man parts when he uses the restroom and focused my argument on the toilet handle but have still had no luck!

      • Anonymous

        It’s a guy thing. For me if I wake up and find my hands have wandered to my parts — like I wake up with my hands down there — I get up and go wash my hands before I touch my phone etc. I realize that may be extreme plus it isn’t 100% because it’s possible to touch one’s parts overnight and not wake up with hands there, yet to me some handwashing is better than not. DH OTOH sleeps that way wakes up touches the phone, the lamp etc. It must be like touching greatness.

    • Anonymous

      On the bright side, as long as he is washing hands after coming in from outdoors, this habit isn’t bringing in or spreading COVID at home.

    • Cat

      I may be the only one but I don’t think this is a big deal at home. The only way you would have Covid on your own toilet is if one of you got it there.

      • Anon

        I’m not really worried about COVID per se, it just strikes me as gross because he touches the toilet handle and then goes about his day. But I guess I’m not totally alone so that makes me feel slightly better.

        • Vicky Austin

          Yeah same, this bothered me in the Before Times and it’ll bother me in the After Times (whenever that might be).

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, honestly, I don’t wash my hands after #1 at home most of the time. Shrug.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, from a Covid perspective, it seems more important that he wash his hands when he gets home and maybe before using the bathroom. Obviously it is good to wash after, but sometimes it’s not really that messy.

    • waffles

      Same here. I have been on my DH about this for years. He’s paranoid about COVID but he STILL won’t wash his hands – and otherwise very hygienic too. It’s mind-boggling to me, not to mention embarrassing. Commiseration.

    • BeenThatGuy

      Thank you for posting. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone in my frustration about this!

    • Anonymous

      I pay 0 attention to what my husband is doing in the bathroom and don’t police his bathroom behavior at all. (Perhaps therefore) I’m 100% positive whatever goes on in there is completely sanitary.

    • sf chic

      Well, you could try showing him the video on how you are supposed to wash your hands. No one follows it… even me… but I try.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PmVJQUCm4E

      I’m a doctor, so I know the drill. But most people don’t realize how many “surfaces” there are to clean.

      You can remind him that kids are taught in Kindergarten to wash their hands for 30 seconds (the recommended time!!!) by singing “Happy Birthday” to themselves twice.

      The person who used to clean our home (before the pandemic) worked as a cleaner in a hospital for years, and should have had the best handwashing technique, but it never occurred to her that she should wash her hands in our home after taking the trash out to the outdoor dumpsters. We all get into habits…

      Also, in general it is better to wash your hands with soap and water than to use hand sanitizer. I make anyone who comes into our home now wash their hands with soap and water, even though they don’t want to (!!!) and they dry their hands with a clean paper towel. We have visiting nurses coming to our home to take care of an immunocompromised loved one who is very sick, and even THEY do not use appropriate clean technique. What can you do… everyone is rushed/lazy/forgetful/sloppy/stubborn/doesn’t care. Even me.

      https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/when-how-handwashing.html

    • Anon

      I’m sure he will wash his hands really well after he changes a dirty diaper and you can insist on good handwashing before he does anything with milk/formula because contamination poses a danger to the baby. Between those two things he’ll be washing his hands a ton and not washing after using the restroom may not really matter…

  19. Looking for more space

    Question for you practical-minded ladies: we are looking to rent a house outside of our big city this fall/winter for a few months to get a little more space. We found a great-looking one on Zillow, posted by the owners rather than a broker. We are going to tour it tomorrow.

    My question is: how do we make sure that they are the actual owners and this is not a scam? Maybe I’m paranoid, but I have heard waaaay too many stories (including first hand from friends) about craigslist scams where someone shows the apartment and friend puts down a deposit, then shows up a month later to move in and someone else is living there, who has no idea what friend is talking about.

    So what’s an easy solution? Is there some kind of third party we could pay to look into this- like the reverse of whatever background check they will be doing on us? I’m glad that the rent will be a little lower without a broker, but miss the reassurance that one would provide. (And the easy answer is not just to find a different house through a broker- it has been hard enough finding this one!)

    Thanks for any advice!

    • Anon

      The county government should have a property tax system available online that’ll name the owners.

    • Diana Barry

      Depending on your state, you may be able to look up the deed online and see who owns the house. The town assessor’s records (also online in my state) will tell you the owner of record and may even give you the book and page number of the last deed transfer, but be aware that if the house was sold recently, the assessor’s records will lag by about 6 months to a year.

    • Anonymous

      Real property attorney ehre – the easiest website for finding YOUR jurisdictions website is www. netronline.com – then public records, then your state, then your county….

      sometimes google seraches for things like “Fulton County GA tax records” actually get a bit confusing.

      • anon

        I work on road projects and often need to find quick property info for parcels the projects might impact. County name, state + “tax assessor” has gotten me to many correct county websites where you can do a map-based search.

    • Senior Attorney

      I’d just ask them for proof of ownership. If I were the owners I’d be happy to provide it. And you can verify it through the county tax records.

    • Anonymous

      OP here – thanks, all. I knew the commenters here would have excellent advice!

  20. Anon

    I don’t know how else to ask this….so here it is: any ideas on how to make friends right now? With whatever the other party is okay with, of course (socially distanced hike, park + wine, patio drinks). I am really struggling. The main problem is not having any outlet to discuss work with, which then kind of heightens everything else. I recently relocated, new job, etc. The guy I was dating really cares and our careers are similar, but giving things more time before we work on the friendship. I had posted yesterday about reconnecting with a GF from college, but small world, her boyfriend is actually really good friends with a consultant my boss hired to work with me…and this guy is a part of the problem. So I have to watch what I say. I’m in the DC area, would like to connect with professional women in their late 20s to early 30s in more than just a networking way. Posting this seems silly, but these are weird times and my normal way of making friends (workout classes, events, sport leagues) obviously aren’t happening.

    • Mal

      I heard a good piece of advice about this recently – since you recently moved, do you know anyone who knows people in your new city? Maybe ask them to introduce you. I know that “friends of friends” are sometimes a less scary way to connect to new people.

  21. Edna Mazur

    Investing HSA accounts, yay or nay? I’ve recently (within the past year an a half) become eligible for an HSA for the first time in my life. I’m just about maxing it out, but still using for family’s medical expenses throughout the year. I’ve got about $5k in there. I got a message saying my account was now eligible to be invested. Is this a good idea? Do people go conservative with this? I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on 401ks, IRAs, etc. but since the HSA is kind of a hybrid of might need now/saving for the long term, I’m not quite sure what to do.

    Family max out of pocket is $6,650 in network and $13,300 out. Does anyone know any good resources to walk me through this?

    • Anonymous

      I’d be conservative about investing it until you have a bit more of a cushion in there. I had a cushion of about $5K myself, got cancer, and blew thru it quickly. Not saying you shouldn’t do it, but I would probably have an extra year or two of out of expected out of pocket cushion before I did.

    • Walnut

      I use my HSA as a retirement account and invest as much as is allowed. Since you’re intending to use it for routine expenses, perhaps you’re best off keeping the amount of your max out of pocket in cash and investing the excess? You might also consider how much cash you have in an emergency fund to cover the max out network expenses should you incur costs in excess of your in network max.

  22. NOLA

    I love the jacket in this post! I’m going to have to check out Madewell to see if it’s available. Darn it, I was at Athleta on Tuesday and Madewell is next door and I didn’t go in.

    Speaking of, I had to go to the mall on Tuesday. Yeah, it was weird, but MAC discontinued my makeup and the new possibilities were confusing and the shades were named differently, so I needed to go in and try some things and make sure that I found something that will work and can order more of. While I was there, I ran down to Athleta to try on some joggers that I had seen online. Didn’t find them, but did find some awesome lightweight not huge joggers. I never thought I would spend $100 on athleisure pants but I love these pants. They’re kind of windbreaker type materials, but light and breathable and they fit really well. I ended up in a size smaller than I would have expected, but it’s partly because of how I’m built (straight through the hips and thighs). They’re the colorblocked Brooklyn jogger. I also really liked the Farallon Stratum jogger, but they were much heavier fabric. My first buy from Athleta and, although pricey, potentially worth far more than the ON joggers that turned out to be thick fleece and huge on me.

    • Cat

      Lol at the idea of running out of makeup. At the rate this pandemic is going, it’s more likely my products will go bad than be used up!

      • Anonymous

        To each her own. I am still leaving my house most days, going to work many, and on Zoom calls often. I also see my boyfriend and a group of other friends (mostly outside and distanced) regularly. I wear makeup for all of these occasions except a very quick run to the store.

    • Anonymous

      This is idiotic. In no way did you “have” to go to the mall because of a makeup “need.” There is a pandemic happening. You live in a hot spot. Stop going to the mall for frivolous things. Stop eating inside places. Stop posting here that you’re doing so and then being all faux surprised and hurt when people call you out on it.

        • Anon

          Um what? It’s absolutely a hotspot. You’re rated orange on globalepidemics.org and the surrounding areas are all red. If you’re going to get make-up, whatever, we can’t stop you, but it’s wrong and prolonging this pandemic for all of us.

        • Amber

          Agree, I am in NOLA too and have been to Lakeside mall a couple of times. No big deal!

    • cookie dough

      I’m surprised you were allowed to sample makeup. In my area, the stores have stopped literally any form of sample or product you can play with or try out.

      • NOLA

        He just put it on a tissue and gave me some makeup sponges. MAC is so weird. The have those N and NC whatever numbers and it has been years since I bought anything with those shades (I was using the BB cream) and I was getting conflicting information about what might work for me and what might be discontinued. I was in and out of there in a short time because I essentially knew what I wanted and just needed to be sure I had the right shade. The stores are actually handling quarantine and distancing really well, as far as I could tell, in the short time I was there.

    • Anonymous

      I’m so curious about people who prioritize buying makeup in person & using the samplers for a color match no less … hope macs not still using brushes that only get cleaned in the bathroom once daily. I truly don’t understand it at all, so I don’t even know what to ask.

      • Anonymous

        One question you could ask yourself is whether your concerns are based in current science, speculation, or generalized fear. Questions you could ask NOLA are: What about your current life necessitates wearing makeup (going in to work, Zoom, dating, bad skin, personal preference, etc.)? What protocols was the MAC counter using for sampling makeup given the current pandemic? Did the salesperson stay distant from you when possible? Was that person wearing a mask? Do your local laws require the mask or is MAC/the store taking additional precautions? Did you find the salesperson to be sensitive to the need to be expedient under the circumstances? Questions you could ask the Hive are: Is anyone aware of whether makeup companies are mailing samples or making individually packaged samples given the pandemic? How are you handling getting new products safely and cost-effectively these days?

        • Anon

          Literally no. We don’t have to play these complicated risk games for something frivolous. Wearing make-up is not a “need”, EVER, much less right now, and even if you insist it is, you order online. It’s not hard and it’s the right thing to do. You can go into the risk games when you’re deciding whether to attend a funeral or a small wedding.

          • American Girl

            Look, I wish more than anything everyone were staying inside right now — because we could end this thing in 6-8 weeks if we really wanted to — but as a matter of science, I’m not sure I agree with your assessment. Given the low likelihood of surface transmission, making a quick stop into a largely empty store in which the sole store clerk is wearing a mask seems extremely low risk. On the other hand, going to a wedding or funeral where crowds of people are socializing indoors in close proximity strikes me as extraordinarily risky — even though weddings and funerals are more important than buying makeup. I think Noah Smith had a really good article (or twitter thread) about how we can suppress the virus while leaving retail open, mandating mask-wearing, but banning personal in-person indoor gatherings. I’ll see if I can find it.

            Which brings me back to: this is why these decisions shouldn’t be left up to individual risk assessment but should be based on a coordinated, evidenced-based federal policy. Arrgh.

          • Anon

            Maybe weddings are frivolous, but I think most reasonable people would agree that they place more importance on attending life events for their loved ones than getting the exact right shade of MAC make-up in person during a pandemic. To each their own.

    • Pink

      I just wanted to chime in that I love MAC but I too find it impossible to pick a shade unless it’s in person. And I’m glad to hear you’re no longer a hot spot. I miss NOLA dearly.

    • Kitten

      Will have to check out those pants!! It feels nice to do “normal” things, doesn’t it? I’ve also been going out and doing things, masked of course and within my county’s guidelines. I also already had (nearly asymptomatic) Covid so my risk tolerance is likely higher than some.

      I kind of understand where the other more negative comments are coming from, but on the other hand i feel like the Covid cat’s out of the bag so to speak, so I don’t feel the need to martyr myself by staying in for 1+ years when the government isn’t doing much of anything to stop the spread. If we had done a serious lock down or other more serious measures, I would have 100% supported it and complied.

  23. Anon

    I replied to the threat earlier about donating to political causes but want to report to spread the word about Black Voters Matter. I donate to them because they support voter registration, policy advocate but also focus on development of infrastructure where little/none exists. This includes staff training, candidate development and network development (taken for their site). Many of the decisions on policing, education and others that impact people lives are made at the local level.

    I think it makes sense to donate to Biden in the upcoming election but generally I feel odd using my money to say “vote for this person that I like.” I feel more comfortable giving money to entities that help communities of color pick their own candidates

    • Senior Attorney

      Thanks for this. I generally don’t do political donations but this looks great!

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