Corporette.com

Updated: Sep 22, 2020 262 Comments · by

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Greta Ribbed-Knit Turtleneck Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

This ribbed turtleneck dress just looks so effortlessly elegant. I would keep this in my closet for the “I Have Nothing to Wear” days because it looks great without requiring a lot of thought and would be appropriate for a wide range of dress codes.

I would wear it with flats or sandals for a more casual environment and add some fun heels for a more formal look.

The dress is $165 and available in sizes XS–XL. Greta Ribbed-Knit Turtleneck Dress

This Norma Kamali dress is a bit more affordable at $125 (although you might want to add a belt for a more fitted look); this plus-size option is from Karen Kane and is $109.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

    • Anonymous

      This + a jacket is what I thought I’d see Elizabeth Holmes in for trial / lawyer stuff. But she has changed up her look quite a bit.

      Very lovely dress. My tween daughter asked the other day why clothes are only shown on a certain type of body, which I thought was a great observation. IDK how it would look on a shorter person who indulges in comfort food.

      • Anon

        Love and hate that she noticed that. You can show her certain websites like Nordstrom (I think) that show their clothes on a variety of body types. I also got a tip here that if sites have the same item in plus size to look how it looks on that model, as the model may really only be a size 10. I’m much closer in size to a 10 than a zero so it looks more like what it would like on me. Looking at Petites may help for seeing the clothes on shorter people.

        • Mal

          Yeah, I really appreciate websites that use multiple body types for ALL their clothing – because the typical model looks nothing like me. Universal Standard and Madewell are two brands I’ve noticed who do this. :)

          • Z

            I do appreciate that Madewell shows models of a couple different sizes, but they’re still all mostly 5’7″+, which doesn’t really help me 5’1″ self.

      • anon

        I think this would look gorgeous on someone pear shaped. I am firmly in the apple shaped category and am super envious of you pear shaped beauties! Clothes just look great on that body type IMO, but we probably all want a different body shape than we have…

    • Ellen

      I agree with Anon. Elizabeth does have a sense of style, even tho she is only 34 years old! I suppose Kat is taking a well needed break b/c of the pandemic, and Elizabeth is doing a good job filling in for her. I looked at the Norma Kamali alternative and agree that a belt is needed which makes it imperative that we do our best to minimize our belly pouches and tuchii so that the whole world won’t be able to see our silowettes and identify our bodily limitations.

      I am already working (before 9:00 a.m., a new record for me), but that is b/c the manageing partner wants me to set the example for the firm and encourage the other attorney’s and staff people to be @ their desks early each day we are here. Dad says he still wants me walking, which means me leaving to get her by 7:30 a.m. which is early for me. As a result, I can’t make and eat my hot breakfasts @ home any more, so I have to find a good takeout breakfast place on 3rd or Lex, or worse case, at Grand Central Market, which costs alot more, but at least is visibley clean. If the Hive is aware of a place for me, please share! YAY!!!!

    • Anon

      Me too. Especially since yesterday, I realised that my one sweater dress is five years old, starting to show its age, and is sleeveless.

    • Cat

      I love this, too. Unfortunately for this short hourglass, (1) elbow-length sleeves are the worst sleeves, and (2) the skirt would be mid calf. So I’ll just enjoy looking at it :)

      • Jess

        Hi Cat,
        As a short hourglass, why are elbow-length sleeves the worst? I’m probably a bit younger than you so maybe that explains part of my ignorance.

        • Cat

          They’ve never been good on me, lol!

          I find they chop up my body at the worst point since it cuts off my arm at its widest, which is also just below my bust, so it’s not a narrow area of my torso either.

          Sleeveless, cap sleeve, or 3/4 sleeves are all far, far more flattering on my frame.

          • Clementine

            Yep. I’ve since changed shape, but as a full chested human, elbow length sleeves visually widened the widest part of my top half. It wasn’t a flattering look. I’m tall so realistically most sleeves are bracelet length on me and that is a much better silhouette.

            As a phrase i learned from RuPaul’s Drag Race goes ‘it’s not the right proportion’. I used to say it was ‘fit’ but really – a lot of how an outfit looks is about the proportion.

    • Anon

      I love this dress! Unfortunately for me, my office has a Person Who Has Control of the Thermostat who seized control of the office temperature when she came to work here, and she keeps it set at 76 to 78 degrees. She has been allowed to do this by upper level management despite complaints. I haven’t been able to wear turtlenecks, wool, thick fabrics, or layers to work in years.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I always think I will love Iris & Ink (the Outnet’s house brand) but I ALWAYS return it because their sizing and fit are always SO weird. So don’t get it.

  2. Marine Layer Allison Pants Review

    Good morning all!

    I needed to reshop for some more casual pants now that I am WFH mostly and my suiting pants were snug and hemmed for 2″ heels. We have a Marine Layer store in my city and I head read about the Allison pants. I read some more online reviews and decided to try them. [IDK what I thought that store sold before this — life jackets? fly fishing gear? It is basically a clothing store that bills their clothes as comfy.] One review was from a hiking / outdoors site and I think these are too pretty for hiking but would be OK on a trail walk with sneakers.

    The pants: there is a bit of a tulip hem and they are designed to be slightly cropped. They aren’t very cropped on me, but I’m 5-4. I like the length. Some reviews have said that the legs below the knee can ride up and get stuck on their calves. I can see that happening. If you have larger calves, these might not be the pants for you or this might get annoying. The hem is cute I think and elevates the design a bit, but it might look odd with booties, etc. I wore them with Rothys b/c I am a Corporette Basic B*tch.

    The waist is elastic (but not tight). It is about at my belly-button level, so not too high. I wore with an untucked shirt b/c I usually wear that (or that + a sweater). I’m not a tuck-in-er. This might matter to you. Also, I am a bit of a pear and that is usually an issue with pants being too tight in the seat or the waist gaping — neither was a problem with these. I got a medium (Athleta size is top of S or bottom of M, depending on my vanity and what is already in my closet, I would describe myself as a 6/8 depending on cut, but the last pair of jeans I got were 10 curvys from the Gap).

    The front pockets are pockets. The back “pockets” are just fakes (so don’t use a seam ripper to open the tacked-closed part — I almost messed this up).

    I washed and hung to dry but you can also dry on low. Minimal wrinkling after a day of wear (90% sitting down at a desk — very comfy for sitting in, which not all pants are) and also from hanging dry. I like them! They are a lighter weight fabric, so good here at least 1/2 of the year. I chill easily, so not winter pants for me.

    • Katie

      These are cute! I’d never been in (or looked up) Marine Layer before but it’s on my radar now to consider for my next pair of WFH pants.

    • Cat

      Thanks for reviewing! Like you, “Marine Layer” as a brand name sounds like a spinoff from REI to me… so would never have thought to look them up myself.

      Sounds like we have a similar build so I will be bookmarking these.

      • Flats Only

        Spot on. I would have thought it was along the lines of Eddie Bauer in terms of crunch granola looking casual clothes, with perhaps an emphasis on nautical stripes.

        • AnonATL

          This is so my casual wear aesthetic. I strive to look like I just came off the trail at any given time but with better shoes.

      • Anon

        I think it’s based on the marine layer effect like we experience in San Francisco, which is basically fog on days that are hot for other people.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I’ve gotten tons of ML ads on social media and like the look of most of their stuff. I’m at more of an Old Navy price point, but with the info you’ve provided I’ll know what to look for on Ebay/ThredUp – thanks!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for this review! Ads for these pants have been following me everywhere online. And I’ve been so curious.

    • Anon

      Good to know! I have never tried their pants, but I have four different colorways of their “Boyfriend V Neck” which has been my WFH uniform.

  3. Ruggable -- shag and plush types

    Has anyone tried the shag or plush ruggable varieties? I have two of the flat-weave ones and was searching for something a bit fancier for a living room and master bedroom. The shag / plus ones look more fancy than the plain ones. I was leaning Not Ruggable for these, but I am constantly reminded that We Can’t Have Nice things and maybe I should just get Ruggables for everywhere???

    I have tried Flor and love the concept but I am totally incompetent with putting the tiles together and they did seem a bit office in my place (but I see how they would be awesome in a more modern house or a kid’s room).

    • Anon

      I know you said you didn’t need any more reasons – but I have a Non Ruggable cream/gray shag rug that my cat puked on this morning. Just bought it a month ago. Luckily, it wasn’t that expensive and I didn’t really like it that much anyway. But man, that puke went deep into the shag fibers.

      • Anonymous

        We treated our wool shag rug with a scotch guard type spray and have had good luck getting cat puke out for the most part.

  4. Please give me all your puppy tips

    We are getting a corona-pup! He is not fixed yet and 3 months old. We will get him from his foster mom this weekend. We have met him and he is chill for a puppy. Mom is a giant fluffy dog (maybe a Pyr?) and we don’t know anything about dad — he is a big puppy already and fluffy/white.

    I guess a Roomba is recommended. I think we have all needed supplies. We have kids that I think are old enough to help (certainly old enough to get out of bed and learn how to walk the dog and pick up poop (we are in a city)). I know not to put bags of poop in the neighbors’ trash cans. We have recs for doggy day care and walkers (if we ever leave the house again) and trainers (in all events) and I think doggy needs one final shot before we can have him around other dogs (will confirm before getting). Next door neighbor has a friendly dog and across the street neighbor is good with dogs and has teen kids who can also help if we ever travel again.

    • American Girl

      (1) Don’t wait until he gets all his shots to socialize him with other dogs — even our vet recommended this.
      (2) Dogs love routine. As with children, dogs need structure, discipline, positive reinforcement, and kindness.
      (3) Crate training is the way to go.
      (4) If you snuggle him lots as a puppy, he will become a snuggly adult dog <3

    • brokentoe

      Read the Monks of New Skete’s “The Gentle Art of Raising a Puppy.” Real monks that raise German Shepherd puppies as their livelihood. Great advice for training dog owners (and of course their dogs) who have puppies that will be big dogs.

      • Anonymous

        OMG — I have had this book for 20+ years. I bought, read, studied, and then got rejected by a rescue b/c I worked FT (and was single, so no one else home even if I was still at work). But I loved the book and just kept believing.

    • mascot

      Lots of socialization- his immune system isn’t ready for dog parks, but if you have friends with friendly, healthy, full vaxxed dogs, they can be good playmates. Usually rabies is that last shot around 14 weeks or so. Puppy classes are also great for this. We did ours through Petsmart- wearing masks, very small groups.
      We got our puppy in April and she’s been so fun. Enjoy!

    • Anonymous

      I adopted a corona puppy a couple of months ago and here’s everything I can think of off the top of my head:

      -set up a schedule and stick to it…puppies need a lot of sleep (like 16-20 hrs/day). At 12 weeks we were doing 1-1.25 hours awake followed by a 2 hr nap
      -puppies are often not great at self settling, so naptime may need to be in a playpen or crate
      -let the puppy settle in for a day or two and focus on bonding durinf that time- hand feeding is great for this
      -but then work on training right away! Puppies are sponges and it is much easier to train a good behavior than fix a wrong one. I use positive reinforcement training- there are tons of resources online. I have found Sophia Yin, Kikopup, and Zak George to be helpful (on y/t)
      -take the puppy out A LOT at first. Out to potty after waking up from a nap, after playtime, 10-15 min after eating. Reward puppy with a treat (I use my puppy’s kibble) after they go potty and say a cue word as they go so they associate that word with the action. Now, I can tell my 18 week old to go potty when we are outside and he squats almost immediately!
      -puppies don’t need a ton of physical exercise (vets suggest no more than 5 min per month of life, 2x a day to protect their joints) but mental stimulation is great to tire them out…puzzle toys, sniffle mats, training sessions, etc.
      -puppies have basically no immune system so follow your vet’s rec. re outside time until vaccinations to avoid parvo, esp if you share outside space with other dogs
      -that said, socialization is v. important. Introduce your puppy to new things, even if you have to carry them if they can’t walk on the ground due to my last point. Always reward (treat) them so they create positive associations. You can also set up playmates with vaccinated dogs or sign up for puppy classes.
      -get the puppy used to handling- play with their ears, paws, tail, mouth, etc. Treats for letting you do this. Many puppies need to be trained to enjoy pets too – they view hands as playtime and try to bite. Kikopup has a good video on this.
      -on the treats – I use mostly my puppy’s kibble for treats so he basically never eats his food put of a bowl. We use puzzle toys or training time for meals. He is very food motivated and would inhale his food in 30 seconds otherwise.
      -a few commands we focused on first were sit, down, come, and leave it. Puppies explore the world with their mouths and have no regard for their own safety so getting them to drop or avoid dangerous items especially is key.
      -be consistent! If puppy is not allowed on sofa then nobody can let puppy on the sofa.
      -the puppy101 sub on reddit is another good resource especially if you are having specific issues like biting

      They grow fast so enjoy the baby days! Congrats on your new puppy!

    • Anon

      Find a groomer and start his grooming routine early so he’s used to being on the grooming table, getting his nails trimmed, coat brushed, dried, etc. while he’s small.
      Regular grooming makes a big difference to the pet hair situation in the house. I hope Roomba’s upped their game in the last several years. My ex had one of the early ones and I have video of it pushing a dog-hair tumbleweed around the house. It couldn’t even hope to keep up with my fuzzy mutts.

    • Digby

      My best tips are: Decide on a command that the whole family will use to encourage the dog to go to the bathroom – sometimes they need to be reminded why they’re outside, and you want to be consistent, and you might not want to have to yell in front of the neighbors “Wolfie, it’s time to wee-wee.”

      If you have a yard, decide on the spot where you want your dog to go, and get everyone in the family to buy into it – only one spot of grass that might die, and only one place to pick up poop.

      Start grooming the puppy right away – get the dog used to everyone in the family brushing him and handling his paws – will make nail-trimming much easier.

      Get a couple of types of brushes/combs/slicker brushes so you can figure out what works for you and your dog. Maybe the foster mom has suggestions, or a Pyrenees website.

      Work with your puppy to be non-food-aggressive. You don’t want your dog growling at your kids or their friends if they walk by or pet him while he’s eating.

      A roomba is definitely a good idea, or a Swiffer and cordless vac, and definitely lint rollers.

      A dog bed with a removable/washable cover and a spare cover might be helpful. Also, a seat cover for your car if you have one and will be taking your pup anywhere by car. With shedding breeds, it’s hard to know how much shedding there will be until you have an adult dog and have lived through all four seasons.

      But most importantly, congratulations!

      • Anon

        We have one too but the other day, it fell down the stairs and I don’t trust it as much. My cat sleeps on the stairs and it fell with such force that it definitely would have killed her. Going to monitor it super closely now…if it even still works.

    • Anonymous

      I have a large fluffy white dog who may be part Great Pyrenees or Akbash Dog. I highly recommend the Furminator shedding tool.

    • The original Scarlett

      On the roomba, our dog loses its mind at the sound of a vacuum cleaner so you may want to see how that goes before getting one …

      • Aunt Jamesina

        Ours hated it the first week and didn’t even notice it by the end of the second. I feel like with a puppy you have the benefit of getting them used to things more easily than an older dog.

    • In-House in Houston

      All of these tips are good ones. I bought these pet grooming gloves and they are the best and our dogs love them. We use them outside, of course, and when I put them on our dogs follow me around the yard and want to be petted with them. They have little prongs on them so they grab the loose dog hair and I think it’s something of a massage for the dog. Congrats on adopting a dog (rather than buying). What are you naming him?

      https://www.amazon.com/Pet-Magasin-Grooming-Gloves-Complete/dp/B07H42K2H3/ref=sr_1_4_sspa?crid=3VY9VRUW37LGX&dchild=1&keywords=pet+grooming+gloves&qid=1600265566&sprefix=Pet+groom%2Caps%2C211&sr=8-4-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyODhXOElGU1g3NDRXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTMxMjMzQzkyMVhTOEFEN05KJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAyNDAxMThHMUFPNEY3NURSUyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

    • anon

      Since it’s a mix it may not be an issue but a great pyranees will likely be very stubborn. I’d recommend a trainer since they’re not the easiest dogs.

    • Anonymous

      Congratulations!
      Get the puppy comfortable with handling early — look in his ears and pretend to put drops in, same for his eyes — don’t wait until you have to do that for real.
      Hold off on the treats and use his kibble for as long as you can — don’t create a picky eater. If kibble is not high enough value, try another air dried kibble for treats, like Ziwi Peak — then you don’t have to worry about the dog not getting a balanced diet.
      I think the two most important commands are “drop it” and your command for recall — practice these every day until they are fool proof and then practice some more. Hopefully then you won’t have to watch him eat a dead bird or something equally as tempting to him.
      Have fun — getting a puppy 18 months ago is one of my best decisions (despite the fact that he rolled in some type of poop and I need to give him a bath today.)

    • Anon

      No tips but i love my roombas and thought I’d mention that I like my basic 600 series bump and turn better than my 800 series mapping model. (I have one upstairs and one downstairs). I have never ever had a problem with them sensing the stairs, unlike the poster above with the Eufy.

  5. None

    Laundry help! I accidentally washed a cream colored extra fuzzy fleece with something that ran a dark gray color. The fleece now looks dirty of course and it had air dried before I noticed. Any chance of fixing this? It was a pricier fleece so I’d like to try before I just buy some RIT and dye it all another color (or ruin it completely).

    • Aunt Jamesina

      I would try soaking it in oxygen bleach overnight, then washing by itself. Try 2-3 rounds if it doesn’t work the first time.

    • Flats Only

      After the other steps, try laying it out in the sun if possible. I’ve done that to remove “dinginess” from items with success.

    • Ellen

      I would try to put a little bleach into a wash and see if it cleans it up. If it’s fleece tights, and you can’t get it clean, give it to Goodwill.

    • SmallLawAtl

      White Brite by Out is a foul-smelling powder you mix with hot water to make a soaking solution. It is available in hardware stores and on Amazon, sometimes Walmart and such. The powder is much more effective than the spray version, so suck it up and get the powder. Soak overnight, and then launder on hot. An overnight soak gets red Georgia clay out of white polyester baseball pants (Georgia clay is red because it is basically iron, and baseball pants are just one giant rust stain), so I don’t know what it wouldn’t get out.

  6. 15YearsALawyer

    I feel… stuck. I am (thankfully) employed, but it’s time to move on and find a new job. (New coast will necessitate finding a new job). The thing is that I just don’t really know what I want to do next. I browse job postings and everything leaves me feeling just…meh. It’s really disheartening on top of what’s already been a disheartening year.

    • meh

      are you me? Same boat… I am just applying to everything litigation (I’m a litigator) and hoping that if I get to the interview stage I’ll be able to tell from talking to people whether I’d like it. Good luck!

      • 15YearsALawyer

        Same to you! (I am currently in litigation and trying to figure out whether to stay vs switch to something adjacent — eg compliance)

    • Anon

      While I’m not in law, so my advice may only help so much: apply for the meh roles that do require the skills you enjoy using and are in the realm of what you might look for. While unemployed this year, I applied for a meh job because a resume I had personalized for another position was perfect for the meh job. Guess who got the meh job and it turns out it was perfect for me, but I wouldn’t have known had I not interviewed. Plus my earlier job interviews were good practice for this and helped me acclimate to my job market, which has changed a lot since March.

    • No Face

      I relate to this so much. I left my last firm because the COVID19 policy was “breathe on each other and hope you have sick days.” I reviewed all kinds of job postings in hopes of being inspired, but I just wasn’t. I’m at another firm. I figure I can ride out the pandemic doing something I’m very familiar with, and then decide what kind of life I really want after I’m vaccinated.

    • CHL

      Check out the books Designing Your Life or Designing Your Worklife. Surfing job postings when you don’t know what you want to do is not a great way to either find an option or figure it out. More effective would be exercises to think about what you like/don’t like, talk to people that have knowledge you don’t about different jobs or orgs. This is a great time to talk to people and get unstuck. Good luck!

  7. Anon

    Someone here posted recently about Vote Forward (the letter-writing campaign to voters in various states). I wanted to signal boost it again since I’ve found this to be a great fit for how I want to contribute to getting Trump out of office. Unlike the text banking I signed up for, which only has Eastern time zone hours and a greater “all in one sitting” commitment, I’m able to print and write letters on my own time and even get away from my computer screen for a bit (which makes me feel that much more able to stick to this). I also feel like a partially handwritten letter is more likely to have an impact – I know I delete every junk text that comes in, but I’m likely to at least open a handwritten letter.

    The website is votefwd.org. I encourage you all to check it out!

  8. Bona

    I need ideas for cold weather pants for long walks outdoors. I’m looking for athletic pants instead of the jeans I usually wear, but most of them seem to be lightweight. Something fairly wind proof but warm is the dream. Do I look for “fleece-lined” pants or tights(?) or something else?

    • Anon

      I have a pair of fleece pants from REI that I like for that purpose. I’m not sure if the exact style is still carried, but you should check out their site since they always have plenty of choices (unless you’re plus-size, but I digress).

    • Anonymous

      How cold does it get where you are? I run outdoors, and I wear fleece-lined athletic tights in winter (Decathlon has a decent selection). When it’s especially frigid, I might wear shorts over those tights as well, or you could try thick joggers on their own or over long johns.

      • Bona

        Thanks. What do you think of Decathlon’s sizing? Is it true that it runs small or can I order my usual measurements?

        • Anonymous

          I’d order your usual measurements. My usual size is a 26 waist, and the 26×30 ‘Kalenji Run Warm’ fleece running tights are a good fit.

    • Cat

      I picked up some of Athleta’s cold weather leggings for winter sports and really like them. I think I got the Altitude style. I could really tell the difference when, rather than wearing those when leaving the house to go ski, I had on “regular” leggings with a tunic sweater to go to dinner – could not believe how much colder my legs were!

      • AnonATL

        Under armours cold gear line is also a great tried and true leggings and pants option. They are still very athletic and not so much on the casual end of the spectrum.
        If you want to wear real pants, I find even the thinner ones layered with good socks and leggings underneath if it’s below freezing to be sufficient. I typically focus on keeping my core and feet warm and my legs don’t bother me much.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I bought a pair of insulated pants from Am@zon last year: “Camii Mia Women’s Winter Warm Outdoor Slim Windproof Waterproof Ski Snow Fleece Hiking Pants.” They run small even with waistband sizing, but are warmer than the fleece leggings I have. They are definitely waterproof, but I still feel the wind a bit.
      Carhartt coveralls are also super warm, but less comfortable to walk in.

    • Anon

      Related, is anyone else frustrated at how hard it is to find non-tights athletic pants these days? I want to just throw on a pair of loose sweats/track pants over shorts sometimes and I can barely find anything that works. I also don’t want to run in skintight leggings that just never stay up on me. Even “joggers,” which don’t flatter me, are often so slim-fitted through the whole leg that they can’t be worn over anything.

      • anon

        A lot of people here recommended the old navy breathe on joggers which are pretty loose fitting and might work for you.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      I got two pairs of fleece lined pants last year at the Eddie Bauer outlet. It doesn’t look like they have the exact same style anymore (mine did not have a cargo pocket), but they have a bunch of options. I wore them to Iceland (although I wore a pair of base layer pants underneath- I run cold, this may not be necessary) and found them to be super warm and comfy. The ones I got did run large. I’m usually a M or L and got a S.

      I also wore a few of Old Navy’s “warm” jeans/pants essentially November to March last year. I also bought a pair of Old Navy fleece lined workout leggings but I didn’t like them- strange fit compares to their other leggings.

      If anyone is looking for excellent base layers, Kari Traa is fantastic.

    • MJ

      You want Athleta’s Altitude Fleece Pants (not the leggings) or any other pants you can find that come in Polartec. They are the holy grail. They are expensive. They sell out every year by November in most sizes. The pairs I have are 5+ years old. And they come in Talls (big for me)! These were my go-to dogwalking and hanging around a chilly house pants when I lived in Boston. Boston is very windy. If it was a super cold day (teens or below) I would layer with leggings, but only because that was for _standing around_ on the Boston Common to watch my puppy in the dog park. They are warm but breathable, wash like iron (recommend you not throw in dryer). These are the ones!

        • Bona

          They look like they’d fit like yoga pants to me, which is fine for my purposes. I think I’ll give them a try.

    • Anonymous

      For really cold days the answer is still layers, at least where I live (snow from October-April). Merino or silk leggings, and something windproof or thicker on the outside. For the windproof bit, I’ve had luck with buying pants for cross-country skiing (Bjorn Daehlie etc), they are often windproof softshell, and with a mesh or fleece/wool lining. Those styles of pants have good moveabilty, are made for cold weather (snow!) but may have less windproofing in the back for some models.

      I would think RAB, North Face, Patagonia and Colombia would all have something medium priced and high quality. Arcteryx if you want something much too expensive.

  9. King Bed

    Hi Furniture Gurus– We’re upgrading to a king (finally) and would love some suggestions of online furniture stores for a quality wood bed frame.

    Our aesthetic is classic / simple wood headboard and low profile footboard. Love pieces from Vermont Wood Studios (Classic Wood Bed, Vermont Shaker Moon Bed, Classic Panel Flat), but $2.5K+ is a tough sell.

    Would love to find comparable pieces for “all in” under $2K (less than $1,500 would be best) for a king-sized bed frame. Any recommendations for other wood furniture manufacturers/stores?

    Room & Board’s Grove Bed is a contender but the reviews mention there is a large, pillow-eating gap between the mattress and lowest headboard slat. We like the look of the Tuft & Needle wood bed but many reviews say it’s squeaky. Not a fan of true platform beds or upholstery (so the Thuma’s out unfortunately). Haven’t see anything at the other usual suspects: West Elm, Crate&Barrel, PB, Article.

    Any other places we should look? Not in a rush so long lead times okay.

      • Anon

        Actually (wish we could edit comments), the frame is from Bedworks of Maine, but we ordered through The Natural Sleep Store, which has even more choices that might fit your style.

    • Mal

      For the Room & Board bed, if the gap is an issue, often headboards are adjustable height-wise. Maybe double check that? That was the case with our new bed and fixed the problem.

      • Anon

        No advice on the gap but I just want to say I *love* my room and board bed. I’ve moved 3x with it and it comes apart and comes back together easily and is as sturdy as the first day — no squeaking at all, even during vigorous usage.

    • Bona

      Try Gothic Cabinet Craft. I have a platform bed from there and the wood is nice and it’s sturdy. Instead of slats, it’s a solid surface. They have some with headboards sold separately and other designs from different brands.

    • Senior Attorney

      If you are not in a rush I would highly recommend looking at estate sales and secondhand stores in your area, as well as Craigslist, of course. You can pick up wood furniture for a song (or the price of a truck or van rental).

      • OP King Bed

        Yes!! Our current queen-sized bed was a total CL score from years ago–simple design, solid wood, amazing craftsmanship from a local PNW store that’s no longer in business…the couple was retiring to Maui and had gorgeous classic pieces throughout their house. Total goals!
        We really just want our current bed in a king size and avoid this online shopping rabbit hole in a pandemic lol.

    • Anonymous

      I am here to tell you to buy the one you really love. I am very, very cheap. My husband usually tolerates this but drew a line at our mattress and bed (we got a custom made one in Amish country, it was about $3500).

      You will potentially be in this bed for the rest of your life. Do not settle. Especially when “settling” is a $1500 vs $2500 bed. If at all financially feasible, of course.

      • Anon

        + a million to this. If you get a slightly cheaper bed it will always be second best to what you actually wanted. Get the one you want.

    • Anon

      I was going to recommend Pompanoosuc Mills but it’s not cheap. Second to look for Amish furniture, if that is a thing where you live, but it may not be that much cheaper for solid wood. If you want to have this bed for a long time and can afford it, it’s worth the extra $$ not to buy veneer.

      If you do buy the Room & Board bed you can probably mitigate that gap with the heigh of your box spring.

    • OP King Bed

      Thanks for all the recs everyone! I have lots more options to explore.

      Jealous of all you East coast ‘rettes with Amish / Shaker furniture access. That’s totally my aesthetic.

    • Anonymous

      LL Bean. Have had a wooden frame from them for eleven years and still looks great.

  10. A.

    How does Loft sizing run? I want to purchase a couple pairs of the pants recommended here yesterday (pull on wide leg pants) but I’ve never ordered from them before. I’m an apple shape, 135 lbs, and wear a 6-8 in JCrew and Old Navy. The Loft pants are sized S, M, L, etc. Thanks in advance!

    • lydia

      loft runs big… I’d suggest a medium. (I’m 135 and a pear, with long legs, and I would order myself a medium in these pants, if that helps!)

    • No Problem

      I wear a lot of clothes from Loft. Loft runs maybe half a size big, if that. If you’re a 6-8 in other brands and 135 lbs (pretty close to my measurements and same size as me), a M will be perfect. A 6 elsewhere is definitely NOT a 2 at Loft as the other poster says. If that were true, I’d be wearing a 12 in Loft pants and I wear a 6 or 8.

      • Clementine

        My sister had a really astute observation about Loft: specifically it is the middle sizes that run big. So like I’m normally an 8 and a 6 at loft is loose on me… but the 12 and 14 are fairly standard 12/14’s.

        Sister’s theory is that they make it easier to get into ‘single digits’ but then true up later. Women who know they need plus sizes will go to stores that sell those sizes, they won’t automatically think, ‘Well, I am normally a 20 but will be a 16 at Loft and because their sizing goes up to 16, I’ll fit there.’ Ergo, the floating exchange rate that is women’s sizing.

        • Anonymous

          The small sizes run gigantic as well. I am a 2 in most brands, but at Loft a 0 is often too big.

  11. Hollis

    Does anyone have a duvet cover that they love? I’ve had the same (beige, uninspiring) duvet cover covering my down comforter insert for 15 years and need a Covid-motivated change. No max budget. Thanks!

  12. anon

    I’d like to switch to a bar shampoo & conditioner. What’s good? I’d rather not spend a ton of money. My straight hair is pretty easy, but some products do give me acne. TIA!

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Bar None by Brite, especially for conditioner. They seem to have stocking issues and will be sold out, so I stock up when they’re available. I haven’t noticed major differences between shampoo bar brands (most are perfectly fine), but there are a lot of AWFUL conditioner bars out there. Hated Lush, Spring and Vine shampoo bars are okay, but the scent disappears from the bar after the first couple of washes. I did like the shampoo bars from the Zero Waste online store, especially the Driftwood scent.

    • anonshmanon

      I’m interested in this too! Especially looking for recommendations for stuff that I can get at regular outlets (supermarket, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond?). Would prefer not to order online.

      • Aunt Jamesina

        I tend to want to do all of my shopping for household stuff in one person at one store, but seriously try the Bar None conditioner bars. Pretty sure I’ve tried every shampoo and conditioner bars sold by Target. The shampoo bars are all mostly okay, but the conditioner bars are awful.

          • Aunt Jamesina

            Shoot! They used to be available through Ulta, but looks like now it’s either their website or Urban Outfitters (of all places…).

    • JuniorMinion

      I’ve had good luck with ethique both the bar shampoo and conditioner. They sell sample packs so you can decide which of their shampoos / conditioners you like.

      It has done wonders (along with not washing my hair every day) for my hair texture etc.

  13. Vicky Austin

    I’m on the hunt for yoga tops that stay put when I’m upside down (I find shirt hems hanging in my face during down dog super annoying). Anybody have any recs in this vein?

    • Anonymous

      The fitted tops from LLL work well for me: Power Y tank, Cool Racerback tank, and the Swiftly Tech short sleeve and long sleeve (but not the tank–it’s looser than the versions with sleeves).

    • NYNY

      Not a top, but Hugger Mugger’s yogatard is amazing. I like the cropped kick flare version, but there’s also a full length fitted one. Going one-piece makes all the difference in inversions.

    • Tessa Karlov

      For a cheaper version of the lulu tank tops, check out yogalicious! I’ve found it at Marshalls and @mazon. They fit pretty well to the hips so they don’t fall in your face.

    • ATL

      I just tuck my shirt into my pants…granted I am doing yoga at home so don’t care if it looks dumb. I’m not doing a full tuck, but a little tuck in the front.

  14. No Face

    Somehow, I was bcc’d on an email from complete strangers about their upcoming November wedding. The email acknowledges “that COVID is still going strong,” and then details the following plans for the event:
    – Friday night party at a brewery for friends, cousins, and siblings
    – an indoor wedding on Saturday at a venue that can “safely” hold up to 400 people, but they will invite less than 400 people
    – a Saturday night reception, where they are limiting the number to 150 people for safety, because of all the eating, drinking, and dancing

    The blogger’s outdoor-only wedding with 20 people who quarantined beforehand was controversial here yesterday, meanwhile people are out here holding events like this one.

    I also was invited to my husband’s family’s business-as-usual Thanksgiving dinner, featuring at least one person flying in from out of state. From college. My family unit will not be attending.

    The fall and winter are going to be rough.

    • Cat

      ok… we are flying to Thanksgiving this year because we haven’t seen my husband’s family since 2019. But it will be 5 people total, all non hotspots, all behaving responsibly (unlike others here I do trust our family members based conversations we’ve had about what they are all doing), and we’ll all get tested prior. FWIW we flew recently for a family emergency and were very impressed with the experience (have been home long enough that we’d know if we caught it).

      That wedding, though. SMDH.

    • Anon

      I don’t really think this wedding thing needs to be hashed out again (weren’t there two threads on this yesterday?), but I’m personally preparing for a second wave and adjusting my expectations for when “normal life” will resume. I have a outdoorsy vacation planned for July 2021 (rafting – you have to reserve a year in advance) and I’m almost positive it will get bumped to 2022.

      • Anon

        Hahaha already loving this:

        The fact is, the handful of our gorgeous photos that I shared don’t tell the whole story. For example, most of the wedding was outdoors, except for the ceremony and reception. Everyone wore masks during the entire event, except for the dinner, speeches, and dancing. And everyone was socially distanced, except for the transportation to and from the event, the event itself, and the after-party. Jared and I took the health and safety of our guests very seriously, and it was our first priority in planning our wedding and not moving it.

      • blueberries

        Thank you for sharing this McSweeney’s piece! It’s such perfect satire of this approach (taken by people I love, but whom I wish would be safer).

      • Anon

        I loved this. We’re up to 35 cases and counting in my town of 30,000 from some jerks who decided to have an indoor wedding recently. I think there’s so much blame to be placed on the federal government’s response to covid and viruses are gonna virus, but gd, at a certain point you need to take some personal responsibility.

      • anon

        This is fantastic. I wish I could send this to a certain couple in my family.

    • Anon

      While I think that the wedding is probably not a good idea, I think we have to get used to the fact that people are going to make choices we don’t like. It’s apparent from this board that there’s a spectrum, and some folks think absolutely nothing is acceptable and some folks think everything is acceptable. I’ve just learned to let it go.

    • LaurenB

      What state is this wedding being held in? Btw I looked at Carly’s blog. It didn’t seem that bad honestly.

    • Anon

      Yesterday’s Miss Manners column had a question from a bride: she plans on getting married at City Hall this year and doing a reception when the pandemic is over. Her relatives are being nasty to her and telling her that the second event (with her in her pretty big white dress, traditional wedding festivities, etc.) is Bridezilla-y.

      It really made it hit home how much of the COVID-wedding shaming is just plain old wedding shaming. In normal times, people who make nasty comments about other people’s weddings are rightly seen as rude. The pandemic, however, gives them a nice excuse to unload on the bride. It’s sort of like how some people treat pregnancy as an excuse to make all sorts of comments about women’s bodies that, absent pregnancy, would get them thrown out on their ears.

      This is not to say that every COVID wedding is appropriate and that some of this stuff is not exactly a wise plan (see, Maine), just that maybe there are people who are constructive and those who are rude.

      • Anon

        I think there’s some wedding shaming, but also, there are people who are just so horrid that they deserve to be shamed. I’m thinking about the couple that got married in San Francisco earlier in the summer (it was mentioned here) with something like 100 guests where the priest helped them sneak in and out of the church so as not to draw attention to the fact that the entire gathering was in direct violation of the health order. Guests were asked to “use their discretion” on masks, hugging, etc. The bride, groom, and 10 other people or so all got coronavirus – and who knows how many of their indirect contacts did? This was especially galling considering how unequal the impact of the pandemic has been in SF. It has hit Hispanics in particular at WAY higher rates than whites.

        • Anon

          I’m bringing this up for a deeply personal reason: it’s always been important to me to be kind to other people about their weddings, say nice things or nothing at all, and support them on their wedding day. It’s one day for me and a lifetime of memories for them.

          My family was horrid to me about my wedding. If you’re a regular reader, you might remember some woman who asked for advice a couple of years ago about how her family treated her immediately after she announced her engagement; that is me. Got great advice here; had an objectively lovely wedding; there were six people who went out their way to be nasty, passive-aggressive a-holes to me about it. A few of my husband’s acquaintances had their own complaints (i.e. inviting 100 people total instead of giving my husband 150 invitations, ergo, they weren’t invited and that somehow made me Miss Rudeypants).

          My husband loved the event I put together; his family said it was wonderful; his aunt went of out her way to tell me how much she enjoyed it. But I look back on those wedding pictures and it’s so…. :/

          Don’t shame people about their weddings. Be constructive and if you can’t be constructive, RSVP no. No matter how justified you think you are in shaming someone about their wedding, you aren’t. Just don’t do it, ever.

          • Aunt Jamesina

            OP, what happened to you at your wedding sucks. My husband and I were on the receiving end of some really off the wall comments from a few of his extended family members (for doing things that are perfectly normal in our area like not being cool with people asking to bring an out of town family of six to our wedding two days prior, and not giving a +1 to his high school aged cousins). But I think this is completely different from your examples. Holding weddings during a pandemic with hundreds of people like it’s NBD is a really sh!tty choice, and I’m think we need to judge people when they’re putting others at risk and are going against health recommendations and the law.

          • Anon

            Yeah, I’m sorry about what happened to you but that has nothing to do with being a selfish a-hole who holds a large wedding during corona times. I’m gonna go ahead and shame those people.

          • Anon

            +1 to Anon at 1:40. These times are different, no matter how much crap you’ve unfortunately had to deal with before.

          • Anonymous

            The problem with the San Francisco wedding (and the Maine one) is not a wedding issue. It’s a large-gathering-during-a-pandemic issue. Calling out reckless, selfish behavior that gets other people killed (like the Maine wedding did) is not wedding-shaming.

          • Anon

            Then frame it the way Anonymous at 2:08 does: not a wedding issue (because it’s wrong to be rude to people about their weddings) so much as a “large gatherings” issue.

            Remember as well that if you’re going to shame people who have a big wedding now, you had better show up with bells on for the people who have a civil ceremony now and a big reception in 2021 or 2022. There are obligations that go along with throwing shade at people’s weddings.

      • Anonymous

        That’s a really interesting point. Generally, I’m not a fan of elaborate wedding re-enactments. They’re just tacky and strange to me.

        But, that said, I’m really sympathetic to everyone this year and I’m just done with all the covid-shaming. So I’m ok with regular wedding snark (calling you tacky for being tacky) but not ok with covid wedding shaming (calling you a selfish murderer for having a truncated as-safe-as-you-could-manage celebration). I think it’s because one person’s tacky is another person’s fabulous and it’s really not a value judgement on the bride as a person.

        FWIW, I LOVED miss manners’ wedding guide. The advice was snarky and hilarious but most of all SO reasonable. She encouraged a simpler and less extravagant kind of wedding celebration focused on being gracious to those you invited and not going broke.

        • PolyD

          I think everyone who had to put off their big wedding, but chose to have a small wedding for official purposes, gets a do-over for the big wedding whenever they can. I don’t care if it’s a “re-enactment” – I never really did, but I especially don’t now.

          Besides, after a year+ of no parties, won’t we all be up for as many big fancy shindigs as possible??

        • Anon

          Wait, so it’s okay to be rude and snarky over the flower choice but not when the bride and groom are hosting an event where people WILL get sick in the middle of a pandemic that is showing signs of a fall resurgence? I don’t think I can agree with that.

          • Aunt Jamesina

            Yeah, one is a public health danger and the other is just… bad flowers?

          • Anon

            Be constructive, not rude and snarky, whether it’s about flowers or basic safety measures. First of all, if you’re actually the type of person who has any standing to say something to someone else about their wedding, you’re a mature enough person to be mature about it. Second, reasonable people listen to constructive a lot more than they listen to rude and snarky. If they aren’t reasonable, then don’t bother having them in your life – JSFAMO applies to friendships, too.

          • Anon

            Exactly, Aunt Jamesina. I don’t think people are snarking about the public health emergency just to be @ssholes, but because they’re understandably stressed and concerned about how others’ actions impact everybody. Are they always super nice and serene about expressing those concerns? No, I’ll admit they’re not, but I also don’t think tone policing is the thing to be concerned about here.

          • Anon

            Well yeah, I don’t think it’s actually good to be full-on rude when someone is not taking coronavirus seriously, but I was just responding to the poster who was okay with “regular wedding snark.”

        • Anon

          I always found wedding reenactments to be a bit strange, but if we are asking brides to cut down their weddings to single-digit numbers of people, IMHO, they have free rein to reenact away once this is all over. It’s just not fair to put people in a no-win situation, or tell them that they are selfish for wanting their parents AND their college roommates at their wedding.

          On the wedding snark: the problem is that one person’s “tacky” is another person’s “socially mandated.” I had friends coming in from all over the country, so I invited their kids, had kids’ meals available, kept the reception G-rated (no garter toss), and had coloring books for them. Also, I made sure that everyone got a sit-down meal and an open bar, because if you spend a thousand bucks on a flight and a hotel, I can give you brunch.

          Yet I had people complain that I was wrong to invite kids and how tacky, and other people who complained that I wasn’t inviting 250 people because it was socially mandated for me to invite my husband’s entire workplace, Sunday school, and spouses thereof. If we couldn’t afford to feed 250 people, then we should have done cake and tea. Oh, and no booze because religion.

          Just stop with the wedding shaming, okay? Yeah, there are absolutely people who deserve it (like my sister, who refused to feed me, her MOH, at her rehearsal dinner – she literally made me get take-out), but even then, it’s probably best to keep a lid on it.

          • Anon

            I’ve been a vegetarian since forever; she had about 75 people at her rehearsal dinner and her caterer accommodated everyone’s dietary preferences except for mine. At the time, I guess I thought it was normal and was confused when my mother said that the caterer absolutely 100% could have gotten me a vegetarian meal; after planning my own wedding… caterers will produce a vegetarian meal for your MOH.

            She refused to be in my wedding party AND complained that she might not be invited to the rehearsal dinner. She also insisted on flying in so late (accompanying my father) that I had to schedule the rehearsal around her flight. Topping it all off, she wore blinding, see-from-outer space white to the wedding and spent the entire time telling me how tacky I am.

            I no longer speak to her.

            For reference, the longest friend she has is someone she’s known for like six years; she’s 42.

        • Anon

          Just a reminder to everybody who hates the second event: If you’re invited to one you don’t have to go.

        • Anon

          Don’t forget that for religious people, the civil ceremony and religious ceremony are both real ceremonies, not re-enactments. So, you can have a courthouse wedding but then two years later get married in the Catholic Church or whatever, and you are completing the sacrament of marriage which different from the govt blessing your wedding.

          • Anonymous

            Great point! Let’s not forget the very religious people who are legally married for years and then decide the sacrament matters so that they can have a fancy ceremony and party. C’mon that’s a stunt.

          • Anon

            Yes, the religious ceremony is the more meaningful event in many traditions. Anon at 4:07 doesn’t get it; there are a lot of reasons why the religious ceremony may wait. I’m Catholic, and it can take a lot of time to jump through all the hoops, including arbitrarily mandated wait times and lengthy bureaucratic processes surrounding “irregular” families. The church may not like it, but there are also old regional customs like clandestine marriages and weddings that happen only after the christening of the first child. None of these mean that sacramental marriage only “started mattering” when a couple decided they wanted to throw a party.

          • Anon

            Anonymous at 4:07, I am a devout Catholic who married in my husband’s Protestant church because my church mandated at least a one-year wait time. Well, I was 37 and did not want to wait “at least” a year. While I most emphatically do NOT judge people who use assisted reproductive technologies, my husband and I are both unwilling to do IVF. So we chose to get married in his church soon after engagement and give ourselves a better shot at natural conception.

            Are you going to call me less Catholic because I didn’t want to use IVF and wanted to have kids???

      • Anon

        Oh my, that reminds me of one of the wedding forums (Wedding Bee maybe?) that had several insane members and would call them pretty princess days or something rude and obnoxious. People are insane. Fun to hate read, though.

        • Anon

          Hahaha I actually love the name pretty princess days as someone who is not a fan of these wedding re-enactments. That said, live and let live. If you want to put on a white dress and throw a big party after all this is over, you do you, whether it’s to celebrate a wedding or just because parties are fun and I miss them. If you don’t like the idea of a re-enactment, don’t go. An invitation is not a summons. And if ever there was a good excuse to have a re-enactment, it’s this! That said, pretty princess day is a pretty hilarious name (that I would never say to a bride!) for internal chuckles

      • Anonymous

        Having a second, bigger wedding has been a thing since before Covid, and personally, I’ve always found it to be kind of gauche (though of course would never say that to the couple). A wedding is a celebration that accompanies a marriage. A party that happens months after the marriage is not a wedding, it’s just a party. Which is cool! Parties are great! Have a party for any and every reason you want! But it’s not a wedding, which means youre not entitled to all the wedding-specific stuff that imposes extra obligations on your loved ones, ie, don’t set up a registry and expect gifts to be given in connection with the party, or have bridesmaids and groomsmen in matching outfits they have to buy/rent, or have your shower and b-party shortly before the wedding, or get fussy with guests who don’t want to pay thousands of dollars to fly to a party where they’re not going to witness your marriage.

        My heart goes out to couples who need to be legally married soon and won’t get to celebrate their marriage with their community like they wanted. I’m right there with them – I’m going to miss out on having the wedding and honeymoon I wanted too. It sucks and it’s not fair. But they’re kidding themselves if they think their party 2 years from now is going to feel the same as a wedding.

        • Anonymous

          Exactly this. You either postpone the wedding or get married now and maybe have a party later. It’s in bad taste to expect guests to act like they’re witnessing a wedding when you’ve been married for two years. It doesn’t make you a bad person, though. And if you invite me I’ll never say a word. If you’re a professional blogger, I’m calling you tacky.

          This is true for anyone, regardless of whether you did it for health insurance, because of a deployment, because you were broke , or because of a pandemic.

          • Anonie

            Oh ok…so we have to postpone marrying the love of our lives for an undetermined amount of time because you think it’s tacky for us to marry now and hold our big, dream receptions after the pandemic? Yes, I also commented further down and, yes, I am taking this VERY personally since I just had to postpone my fancy wedding and my family and I will lose thousands of dollars in deposits if I cancel altogether rather than postpone the reception to 2021.

            My grandmother has wanted to see me in a wedding dress for years, but I’m “tacky” if I hold a second reception in 2021 so she and other loved ones can see me as a bride? Oh and my fiance and I aren’t living together before marriage for dear-to-us religious reasons, but our only options are to postpone our lives together for a year-plus or never get a “real wedding” and reception?

            I’m sorry for the fury seeping through in my comment but, good gracious, I haven’t read anything that has made my blood boil so much anywhere but the Fox News Facebook page.

        • Anon

          I despise your line of thinking because it is precisely why some couples are going to go ahead and have the wedding now.

          Offer people some grace. We live in extraordinary times.

          • Anonymous

            I mean, people’s sense of entitlement is what is causing them to have their wedding now. Not to be all “kids these days/get off my lawn” but it’s a bit immature to think that life will always cooperate with everything you want (by you I mean “one” not you specifically). If the worst thing that has ever happened to you is you got to marry the love of your life in front of 10 people instead of 100, then you should feel incredibly #blessed, not trying to figure out how to have your #bestdayever in exactly the way you expected, pandemic or no. It’s ok to feel sad and disappointed and angry. But it’s not that mature to create a fantasy world and expect everyone to play pretend with you.

          • Anon

            Anonymous at 2:43, you’re missing the point of a wedding reception.

            At my wedding, my friends got to meet each other and are now friends with each other. (My bridesmaids hugged each other when they met.) Family who never see each other got together. I met my husband’s extended family whom I otherwise would not meet. My mom got to meet a lot of my friends and loved every second of it.

            I would have married my husband in a hurricane, but getting everyone together is important in its own right. Once this pandemic is over, it’s more, not less, important for people to get together.

            Bill the thing as a renewal of vows or a one-year anniversary celebration; haters can stay home (which is, tbh, the best option anyway) and the rest of us can party it up.

        • Anonie

          Your “heart goes out” to those of us who didn’t get to have real weddings and receptions but you also think we’re “kidding” ourselves if we decide to hold a belated reception in 2021/2022 with our extended family and friends? That is really callous and cruel logic. So you (I mean ‘you’ in theory…I have no idea your relationship status) got to have a wedding party because you were so lucky and privileged to meet the love of your life sooner or later, but those of us who planned 2020 weddings just get the consolation price of your heart going out to us?

          UGH that is disgustingly mean. I write this as a woman who is now just hoping for a 9-person intimate wedding ceremony after postponing my fancy 200-person dream wedding to keep my guests safe during a pandemic. I’ve spent thousands of dollars and many hours of time on other peoples’ weddings over the years, but I’m lame if I want to celebrate my marriage with my friends and family at a later date? UGH.

          • Anon

            “I’ve spent thousands of dollars and many hours of time on other peoples’ weddings over the years, but I’m lame if I want to celebrate my marriage with my friends and family at a later date? UGH.”

            That’s basically the attitude, yes, and you’re not wrong to be enraged. It’s crass beyond belief and completely undeserved.

      • Seventh Sister

        I had a “little sister” in college who was Mormon and because she was getting married at a temple in Utah, her family threw two receptions – one in CA (where her husband was from) and one in CO (where she lived). I thought it sounded like a lovely idea then, and I still like it now! Except that I need coffee and alcohol in my life.

        I had a very traditionally WASP-y wedding with a church service, reception, etc., but I’d rather have had a small City Hall wedding and a big reception on another day. The dresses are so $$$$, why shouldn’t you wear it twice? People can STFU, but yes, even before COVID, some people will complain about every aspect of a wedding.

    • Anon

      i literally just saw pics on facebook from a wedding in PA at a venue that clearly violates the state’s guidelines (which are 25 people for an indoor event, no matter the size of the venue). bride’s brother is a doctor

    • Anon

      I am worried about holidays this year because my husband (who is not high risk) has decided he will not share an indoor space with anyone outside of our household. That makes the decision easy not to attend anything with his family. But he is increasingly upset that I am comfortable sharing indoor space with my “bubble”, which includes my parents, one grandparent, and sibling’s family. Everyone in my bubble obviously has exposure to different people and places than I do, but everyone is being as cautious as possible. This is an acceptable risk to me, but not DH, even if his only exposure would be through me.

      • Anon

        More and more evidence is coming out about how young people without high-risk conditions are suffering long-term lung damage and other serious side effects from COVID infection. I don’t blame your husband or others for wanting to be really cautious while we learn more about this emerging population.

      • Anon

        If your husband doesn’t want to be exposed to people in your bubble, I think at a minimum you should not meet them at your house. Unfortunately your husband is still then exposed to you after you’ve been exposed to them.

        At the end of the day both of you need to listen to each other and come up with a consistent approach for both of you . You come across as dismissive of his concerns.

      • Anon

        i also don’t blame your husband. clearly you both have different risk tolerances. so do DH and I, but we’ve decided to adhere to what the stricter person wants/is comfortable with. you and Dh can’t really have different bubbles.

        • Anon

          +1. Not saying that’s what this poster is doing, but I’ve seen a lot of other people dismiss every concern as “anxiety talking” or “paranoia” and that’s simply unfair to people who are trying to protect themselves. It’s not “paranoid” to want to limit your exposure to individuals outside your household, especially going into flu season.

          • Anon

            People accuse other people of anxiety or paranoia because they want to ignore the risks and keep doing what they’re doing.

          • Anon

            Yup, Anon at 2:23. I’ve noticed that in cases where two members of a couple have different risk tolerances, some are willing to defer to the stricter partner in a respectful way (usually a “joint” decision, even if it’s not really) and others get defensive and upset (and tend to air their complaints to others). I think I would find it very hard to stay with a partner who would not only dismiss my concerns out of hand, but belittle me to others.

      • Anonymous

        This is totally controlling and alarming. He wants to completely cut you off from everyone?

        • Anon

          No, the OP for that comment didn’t say he was monitoring her phone usage or forbidding her to FaceTime with her parents or even to do something outdoors with them. Let’s not make an issue where one doesn’t exist.

        • Anonymous

          Uh, no, he wants to not have his life ruined by becoming a COVID long-hauler. He’s not trying to control her, he’s trying to protect himself.

  15. Anon

    Has anyone here done couples counseling since March? Does the experience translate well when done remotely? DH and I would like to start but are unsure if it will be as effective not in person. It seems to me skype therapy is probably more effective than socially distanced + masked therapy.

    • anonshmanon

      If the therapist is a good fit, I think it can work over videochat. Esther Perel who has this great couple’s therapy podcast(Where Should We Begin?), has switched to remote counseling, and is still as awesome as ever.

      • Anonymous

        Huh? Doesn’t she … condone cheating or at least promote it as “a quest for aliveness”

        • anonshmanon

          There was an episode about a couple with an open relationship, maybe you mean that. Or could be something else, I don’t catch every episode. As I said, the therapist has to be a good fit, regardless of whether it happens in person or online.

    • Mal

      I feel like my remote therapy appointments have gone well…one piece of advice, though: turn off the ‘self view’ window on whatever chat program you’re using. It’s SO distracting for me to look at my own face the whole time. Really helps!

    • Anon

      We started couples counseling (via online platform) in August and it’s been a game-changer.

      We are using the pandemic as an opportunity to meet with a counselor whom my husband really likes (important, since I’m the one who pushed for this), whose office would be challenging to get to on a regular basis. Consider that many counselors are not offering in-person, even if it’s socially distanced and masked.

    • Pink

      I actually prefer it on video because I can be in my living room which feels like a safe space and I’m therefore less likely to get flooded. DH doesn’t like it virtually, but he also only tolerates therapy. Which is part of the reason I don’t feel we’re making a lot of progress…but that’s a separate post.

    • Anonie

      My fiance and I started our 8-week premarital counseling courses a few weeks ago and we are liking our in-person sessions. We wear masks to the counselor’s office and while in the waiting room. Masks are required in the county where we reside, but they are NOT required in the nearby county where the counselor practices. (We chose her because of glowing recommendations from friends, as well as her flexible scheduling options and relatively affordable rates.) When we are called back to her office, we don’t remove our masks until we are seated on the couch 6 feet away from the counselor’s seat. I think I’ve only ever seen one other person in the building.

      I know I am less strict than some on this board, but we feel comfortable with this. To be honest, I would have been fine with online therapy…this is my fiance’s first time seeing a therapist though, so he wanted to do an in-person program to ease his nerves. If you and your partner have previous therapy experience and are committed to being just as open and honest as you would in-person, I would think online would be a perfectly fine substitute. It may just take a little more discipline.

    • BelleRose

      I think it’s a “know thyself” situation. My now-husband and I did our premarital counselling all online this summer and it was great! But it helped having a therapist who was by then used to doing Zoom sessions and with both of us being in professions that had been doing a lot of Zoom calls. Premarital counselling for us was also…..not as emotionally charged as couples counselling might be? IDK how to describe it. Emotionally charged conversations are hard virtually.

      P.S. FWIW we had a small (<10 person wedding) and are planning on a big reception when things open back up…just to forestall any haters :P

  16. Tessa Karlov

    It’s my birthday today, and here’s how I’m celebrating.
    1) I woke up an hour early, did a scalp scrub in the shower, and made my hair pretty.
    2) I walked to the closest Starbucks (mobile order pickup ofc) and got myself a indulgent, calorie-laden beverage for free.
    3) Working from home today so I’m wearing an extravagant tiara that I got for 20 dollars from @mazon.
    4) After work, I’m having all my friends take a shot with me over Zoom!
    5) For dinner I’m making myself a delicious frisee salad with bacon and a poached egg.

      • Tessa Karlov

        Look, I hope you’re aware that it has been and will continue to be a hard year for most people. With that in mind, maybe stop being a jerk to people online for taking joy in the little things and try and practice a bit of gd empathy. What would you prefer I do for my birthday? Shave my head and become an anchoress?

        • pugsnbourbon

          I mean, being an anchoress would reduce your chances of getting Covid :)
          Happy birthday, your day sounds great!

          • Tessa Karlov

            I like to think the past six months have been anchoress training! Worst unpaid internship ever

        • PolyD

          Happy birthday and that sounds like a very nice day! It is inspiring me to take Friday off (just to burn time, it’s not my birthday) and make an elaborate breakfast featuring bacon and then maybe picking up some take out for dinner.

    • Anonymous

      Happy birthday fellow Virgo. Thank you for sharing this. My birthday (a milestone one) is next week and I’ve been a bit sad about it. Your post has given me hope! Thank you!

    • Anon

      I love the tiara part! All of it sounds lovely, but that’s my favorite. My mom just sent me a tiara that was my grandmother’s that I played with as a little girl. Just need to find the right tiara occasion as an adult . . .

    • shopping queen

      What tiara? My sad b‘day was last week and I am thinking I need a re—enactment stat. WITH tiara this time!!!

  17. Anon

    Are blue light blocking glasses a scam? For those that wear them, what do they do for you?

    • Cb

      I really find they cut the glare and my eyes are less tired as a result. I thought it was a gimmick but it was cheap add on on my Ace & Tate pair and I really find it makes it make a huge difference.

    • CHL

      they have made a really big difference for me in terms of eye strain at the end of the day. mine are from prive riveaux

    • Diana Barry

      FWIW I have a blue light blocker on my computer (f.lux) as well as g.lux on Chrome, and they both work really well. I have regular glasses and trying to wear other glasses on top of them is a huge PITA.

      • Abby

        +! DH (ophthalmologist) says they don’t help but only AFTER I bought mine.

      • Anon

        My optometrist said to just use blue light filtering on my devices (so I also use f.lux).

        • Anon

          I also use f.lux and night mode on my iphone/ipad all day long. I have chronic migraine and found them to be surprisingly helpful. Computers are still one of my biggest triggers, but they definitely take it down a notch. I don’t know why you’d bother paying for glasses rather than just using a free screen filter if you think it’s an issue for you.

      • anonn

        My DH is an optometrist and said they’re a scam too. But then he also put an anti-reflective coating on my glasses that seems to really help me with computer eye strain. I only use my glasses when working on the computer, very low prescription.

    • Anonymous

      The coating on my new glasses supposedly blocks blue light and I have noticed exactly zero difference. I think it’s a scam.

      However, if I didn’t already wear prescription glasses, I’d wear blue-light blockers in public as a COVID safety measure. I know that regular glasses aren’t safety glasses, but I like having at least some droplet protection for my eyes.

      • Anonymous

        If you don’t need regular glasses and you want to protect your eyes, the obvious answer is to get the safety glasses/goggles.

  18. Anonymous

    What pants do the men in your life like to lounge in? DH’s birthday is coming up and I want to get him pants (also, he wants pants). He usually sleeps in boxers then pulls PJ pants on in the morning to walk around the house. He now needs the same type of pant that are not plaid so he can go stand at the bus stop or water the front bushes while wearing flip flops or whatever without being OBVIOUSLY in PJ pants. Basically, leggings for men.

    If the answer is sweatpants, what brand? He doesn’t like ones that gather at the ankle.

    He’s about 6′ and a 34/36 waist.

    • Abby

      Just bought DH some joggers for his birthday from Outdoor Voices, the cloudknit ones, after receiving recs from here. He hasn’t gotten them yet, but they feel SO soft.

      • Abby

        anddd I just realized you said he doesn’t like sweatpants that come in at the ankle. Reading fail. He also wears sweatpants from nike & reebok, some bought at TJ Maxx

    • Anonymous

      Check out Vuori. The ponto pants are tapered but don’t have ribbing at the ankle. There are some other choices as well. My husband loves his Vuori shorts, and I need to get him some pants for WFH this fall.

    • AnonMPH

      My husband loves his Lululemon joggers and wears them for this exact purpose. He was kind of embarrassed when he bought them, but they are one of his top items of clothing now.

    • Anon

      My husband is around your husband’s size and wears a L in Target men’s pajama pants. They sell a black pair with no plaid that are made of a comfy knit. They don’t taper but the legs are not super wide like regular flannel Pj pants.

  19. Anon

    WFH vent: it is so much harder to compartmentalize life/home stress when it’s all happening in the same space. There’s a lot I like about WFH, but I don’t like that there is no physical separation between “home” stressors and issues and “work” like there used to be. I had gotten really good at putting aside family or personal stress while I was at work. But now I’m surrounded by it all day, even when I’m working. And with the smoke/fires, I can’t even take a long walk to decompress.

  20. Lemon

    I read yesterday’s thread while having breakfast this morning and you have me nervous now! Everyone thought it was a terrible idea for a drop off music class at someone’s house, but what about all the covid pods that are popping up?

    We’re due to start hosting five four year olds next week with a certified teacher for three hours two days a week at our house. We did it as a back up in case school goes to zoom and in place of all the usual enrichment classes that are cancelled due to covid. Is this a terrible idea opening me up to a ton of liability? These kids are going to kindergarten next year so drop off doesn’t seem outrageous. I wouldn’t have people sign a waiver for a birthday party or something at my house but this is a little more structured. I didn’t even think of a waiver or homeowners insurance issues

    • Anon

      Interesting, I do think learning pods where your child is participating are still very different than running a business out of your home. That said, probably worth a call to check with homeowners insurance.

    • Anon

      A certified teacher is really different than two local musicians who do shows at the library. Teachers are trained and experienced at supervising other people’s kids. Plus in a pod of four you will know the other families whereas yesterday’s poster said she did not know all the families dropping kids off at her home.

    • Anon

      wouldn’t have occurred to me either. not so much on the liability front, but it might be a good idea to have printed out for each child, emergency contact, any allergies to food and/or medicines, etc. so that it is easily accessible just in case you and/or the teacher needs to call 911

    • Anonymous

      Sadly, another liability concern is leaving the teacher alone with the children all day. Have you done a background check on the teacher (as is standard in any school/commercial tutoring environment)? And will you have more than one adult present at all times in case of emergency and to prevent any accusations of abuse (as is standard in any school/commercial tutoring environment)?

  21. SF

    I’m ready to buy a Peloton (5 weeks post-partum with my second, going stir crazy and stuck inside with the awful air in California…it’s time). I’ve decided the bike+ isn’t worth it, but what about the accessory packages? My husband and I would use the bike – do I buy the package or just get the shoes and weights(?) separately? And is there any reason not to finance the purchase when it’s interest free? Thanks!

    • Anon

      People tend to not love the shoes (I think they are fine) so you may want to purchase separately. The accessories are otherwise also way overpriced, so I would skip, other than the mat for under the bike. You can find better quality weights, yoga mat, etc. for much cheaper elsewhere!

      • Sunshine

        +1. Didn’t buy the accessory package when I ordered earlier this year, and I’m glad I didn’t. BFF bought it; she doesn’t like the shoes and says the heart rate monitor is crap (i don’t use one anyway). You can buy shoes and cleats (make sure you get Look Delta Cleats) from any cycling store, i ordered a mat for underneath from a sporting good store, and bought a pack of fluffy white hand towels at Costco that we use for sweat. It’s been great!
        I love love love the bike. Hope you guys do too!

    • Anon

      There is no reason not to finance an interest free purchase if you know you will be able to pay it off on schedule. If you’re planning to buy a house next month it may not be a great time to open a new credit account, but even then, the most that would likely happen is the loan underwriter asking you want that was about.

    • anonchicago

      The accessories are overpriced. I ordered the mat and shoes though because it was easy to buy from one place. You need a mat because you will sweat a lot but can get one cheaper elsewhere. Buy normal weights on your own; I have 2 and 5 lbs.

      I think the shoes are fine and a lot of the complainers online have never worn spin shoes before. If you decide to buy different shoes, just know you’ll have to change out the pedals ($100ish) on top of buying new shoes ($75-150).

      • anonchicago

        Also if you want $100 off my referral code is MN3S2V (I get a credit as well).

    • anonn

      We bought the bike in March with the small accessory package and it’s been a good decision: 2lb weights, one pair of shoes and earbuds. We already had some foam floor tiles we put under it and those have worked fine. The earbuds lasted about a month then I bought some wireless ones on amazon for $34 that I like. I don’t love the shoes for my feet, but I’m not going in to stores and trying on shoes right now so they’re fine. I bought my husband’s shoes on Poshmark and saved $25. I wanted to be able to ride the day I got it, so I took that into consideration when deciding. Did not finance, maybe just because I didn’t want to deal with it and we had the cash? I don’t remember. Get a fan and some hand towels.

    • anon.

      We did buy the accessories package just to have it done. I’ve done a lot of spinning and honestly the shoes are totally fine for me and the HRM works fine. So YMMV but for us, having it all just DONE in one purchase was worth it.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions