Thursday’s TPS Report: Ottoman Knit V-Neck Peplum Top

153 Comments

1. Sorry for the immediate threadjack but I am looking for a good gift to send someone across the country that just had a baby. It is not their first so they also have a few other munchkins running around. They live in the Seattle area. We want to spend around $200 doing something that makes their lives easier. Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!!

   1. Giant bucket of condoms.

      Or, if you must be supportive, Zingermans makes a great snack box for eating in a hurry. Gift membership to zoo/aquarium/children’s museum also nice.

   2. Food, food and more food! Either a grocery delivery service or some type of meal delivery service. I don’t know what’s available in Seattle, so I don’t have specific suggestions.

      My other suggestion would be housecleaning services (something like Handy might be in their area), unless they’re the type of people who might take that the wrong way.

   3. Amazon Prime membership, if they don’t already have it, and a bunch of diapers in different sizes.

   4. I’d send some food, and also little toys for the older kids. When my second was born, I was surprised by how many people sent gifts for my 3 year old son. It was wonderful.

      And as a fun treat, someone sent us a “12-pack” of cupcakes that come in little mason jars. You can freeze them and they lasted my whole maternity leave. It was an awesome little treat and my son thought they were super cool.

   5. Munchery gift certificates (home meal delivery, usually organic and good)

   6. I live in Seattle and when I had a baby, my colleagues pitched in and bought me a gift certificates to Eat Local, which makes a lot of great food that’s frozen. Lots of locations in Seattle, too.

2. How do you know if a blazer is starting to look dated? I have one that I love from 2009, and I’m the last person who would notice outdated-ness unless we’re talking suits from the 90s or something. And I have a tendency to keep my clothes forever; I’m 27 and still wear clothes regularly from 10 to almost 15 years ago. With blazers in particular (since I seem to keep them forever) what are signs of an outdated garment?

   1. Is the fabric holding up well? I think any fading or pilling is a definite sign it needs to go. If it has that Macy’s off-the-rack bright colored suit look (obviously polyester, shoulder pads and/or really noticeable seaming), then I’d say it’s outdated. But if it’s good quality fabric that doesn’t look worse for the wear and it’s a classic shape, I think it’s fine.

      1. really ignorant question- what is a “classic shape”?

         1. Personally, I don’t think there is any such thing as a classic shape even when it comes to a classic item like a black blazer. As others have mentioned, the details change like number of buttons, shoulder-style, length, fit, lapels, etc.

         2. A Goldilocks blazer? Not too long, not too cropped. Lapels aren’t super wide or super narrow. 1 or 2 buttons (not too many, not too few). Simple lines (no ruffles, peplums or other trendy details).

   2. I notice where it hits on my hips. If your height/weight/body shape hasn’t changed – the styles probably have. Length to hips, width of lapels, size of shoulder padding, and MAYBE # or style of buttons going down are the major blazer style indicators, also a non-trendy person who wears clothes form 15 years ago.

      1. +1 on length– I notice this more with shells than I do with blazers, but I recently purged the last of the nice tops I bought a decade ago because they all seemed so very short.

      2. what length and lapel width would be way out of style now? Is 3 buttons too many? I mostly see one and two around these days. I don’t own anything with shoulder pads, thankfully.

   3. I think buttons sometimes have something to do with it. When I was in my early 20s, I bought a number of “fun” blazers from Loft, back when they had high quality lined wool clothes. I still have almost all of them 10 years later. The only one that I think looks dated is one with four buttons. I think I actually finally got rid of it when I did my massive “what sparks joy” closet purge a while back. To me, blazers that have a “modern take on a vintage look” take a lot longer to look dated, which is what several of these are. They’re very Jackie-O. That sort of look is more timeless.

      1. For the future, buttons are one of those items that can be easily changed and often it really changes the whole look. I like to swap out really cheap-looking plastic-y buttons with higher quality buttons.

         1. It was the fact that there were 4 buttons, not the buttons themselves on that particular blazer– I think the 4 button look was something that was a flash in the pan trend in the early 2000s

   4. In my opinion, the big things that people notice and that make a blazer read as “dated” are fabric, color and fit. The fabric looks worn (pilled or faded), the color is something not-neutral (neutrals are more classic) or it doesn’t fit you well (too baggy or too tight). Fancy buttons and other froufrou detailing can make a blazer look “cheap” which people often perceive similarly to “dated.” Shoulder pads are another easy “dated” indicator.

      What’s funny is that the style itself can be a little dated, but if the fabric is great, the color is neutral and it fits you well, it can still look fantastic. I have a black Akris blazer that is double-breasted and a little long but the fabric is in great shape, the fit is flattering on me, and I get compliments every time I wear it. I picked it up at a thrift store for $10; high quality wool blazers just don’t show wear the same way that other items of clothing do.

      1. +1. I would add that if a high-quality blazer in good shape seems too short for today’s styles, you can layer a longer top underneath it and it will visually extend the blazer. (Works especially well if the blazer and top are the same color.) I’ve kept a couple of cropped blazers from a decade or so ago and wear them this way — and I get compliments.

3. So what is with all retailers suddenly coming up with new names for different knits? A few years ago it was ponte, now “ottoman”? Are they actually coming up with new weaves/knitting techniques for fabric, or is it like everyone piling on the same Pantone color all at once?

   I am cranky in this in-between season. All of my winter stuff feels tired but it is WAY not warm enough to wear spring stuff yet!

   1. Ottoman as a term for knits has been around (at least in the industry) since at least the 80’s. I think what’s changed is that online shopping has put terms like that in front of shoppers, often in a way that is not at all helpful. Buyers type in industry descriptions into their system without anyone re-writing (I cringe at all of the “Chanel Jacket” type stuff I’ve seen.)

      FWIW, Ottoman knit is usually ribbed and pretty heavy.

      1. Interesting. I wonder why all of a sudden retailers are using the descriptors for the knit in the product description when it used to be called “heavy-weight rib-knit” or whatever. Maybe to sound fancier?

         1. I had ottoman knits back in the 80s too. Ottoman is a horizontal rib, less stretchy than a typical sweater rib, with a lot of structure.

         2. I wonder if it’s a cost thing – you can pay someone a lot less when their entire job is to cut and paste information from an order form to a product description, vs. hiring even an entry-level copywriter to write actual product descriptions.

   2. It’s ok to be cranky. Sit down, and put your feet up on a heavy-weight knit… ottoman.
      Nevermind.

4. Guys, help! Having issues with static this morning. I’m wearing a dress with my tights and the dress is glued to the tights. Solution?

   1. If you have lotion, put some on your hands (somewhat rubbed in but still “wet”), then rub your hands on the inside of the skirt/on your tights.

   2. Go to the drug store and buy some static guard, spray both tights and underside of dress. I keep a can in my desk. Best $5 ever.
      If drugstore has no static guard, you could do with some dryer sheets that reduce static cling. Rub sheets on tights.
      If you can’t go to the drugstore, sometimes putting a bit of lotion on your hands and rubbing excess on your tights works.

      1. agree with all of this. always have a can in my office after a really bad static cling day.

         On that bad day, I learned that water also helps. Like the lotion, get your hands wet and rub on your tights.

   3. Hand cream. Rub in on your hands, and then rub your hands on your tights.

5. Are there any attorneys out there who have from in house sales support work to business development? If you are in the DC area, I would love to take you out for coffee and pick your brain about how I can make a similar transition.

6. I need some outfit help, I’m going to a sort of country rock concert Friday at a very small venue, was planning to wear a black and white graphic plaid blouse, skinny jeans and black ankle boots. Would black jeans be too matchy, or would blue jeans look better? Or am I overthinking this?

   1. You’re overthinking this. Outfit sounds great.

   2. I think black jeans would be just fine, but I’m somewhat biased as I adore the colour black.

   3. imo black jeans are so in right now and almost always look better than blue jeans. I’m tempted to purge myself of even owning blue jeans, but i know thats a mistake.

   4. I’m going to be the voice of dissent here and say that black jeans, while more fashionable, will look less country, if that’s what you’re going for. I’d go with a very dark blue jean.

      But they won’t look too matchy, if that’s your main concern. They’d look very chic.

   5. I always overthink what I wear to concerts. No one ever cares about me as much as I do.
      I blame it on MTV.

7. I’m having an issue with skin dryness-oiliness. I started Retin-A, so I’ve been using a really intense moisturizer. I love the moisturizer, but it makes my skin look really shiny/oily during the day. If I don’t use it (or just use a little), my skin is way too dry. Any suggestions on how to solve the shininess issue?

   1. Use blotting papers during the day? You could also try some mattifying powder or primer assuming it doesn’t make you break out.

   2. Seconding the blotting papers – I have similar problems (either I’m a grease spill or a tight, flaky mess) and I just blot my t-zone a couple times a day. If you run out or something, check the ladies’ room – the crappy 1-ply TP that most places use makes a great blotter. :P

      1. Toilet seat covers also make a great blotter in a pinch.

         1. Starbucks napkins are also great blotting tissues.

   3. I’m also on retinols and what has made a huge difference in my skin is to add a thin layer of vaseline over my regular (heavy-ish) moisturizer at night. This seals everything without breaking me out (petroleum jelly is non-comodogenic) and in the morning my skin is smooth and moisturized. It provides enough moisture that I can use a regular face lotion (currently Cerave) during the day.

   4. Try using the heavy moisturizer at night and a lighter one during the day?

      ETA: So exactly what Zelda said above. Maybe try refreshing before posting, Baconpancakes.

8. I had a crappy birthday yesterday :( I wish I was one of those low-key birthday people, but I’m not. I love birthdays and I’m sad it was crappy. Work crap, SO and family not super supportive, blah blah. Just venting.

   1. Sorry it sucked.

      I vote you have a different ‘me’ day. Pick a day and just do all the things you want to do. Go to brunch, go for a run, get a pedicure, watch Netflix while drinking wine and eating pizza in bed- whatever! Just do it.

      Make it your birthday gift to yourself.

      1. +1
         It’s almost the weekend – do a Saturday or Sunday birthday!
         Or an Un-Birthday! You have 364 of those each year!

   2. Aw, I’m sorry! Happy late birthday!

   3. I’m sorry! Happy birthday. I can relate to this. I love birthdays and try to do special things for others (gifts, cards, meals) but it seems that many adults don’t reciprocate. It often leaves me too feeling like my birthday is a disappointment. I have come to think that it’s a matter of growing up and realizing the world is not going to make the day all about me. If I want something special, I have to do it for myself (which is not quite the same, but sometimes good enough). I don’t mean this as a judgement of you, just sharing my own thinking about it.

   4. So sorry your day was lousy. My advise for next year is to take the day off. This way you can have a relaxing day to yourself. I never work on my birthday, instead I sleep in, get a manicure, go to an art exhibit, or do something else I normally never get to do. It also reduces all the normal dealing with work/family junk that we all have to do.

   5. I’m glad you spoke up because mine (last week) was similarly lousy. It did end well, but the day for some reason was just crummy. Hope it gets better– maybe have a make-up day? In any case, belated good birthday wishes for you!

9. Going off yesterday’s thread about female authors, what are some of your favorite series/authors to read?

   For me, Terry Pratchett is a long-term favorite; the combination of fantasy, satire, and wordplay makes me a very happy girl. Plus, he’s also one of my mom’s favorites, and we bond over the books. :)
   Mary Roach does some amazing science-focused writing – Packing for Mars is probably the one I’d recommend first.
   Christopher Moore – Lamb is one of my favorite books of all time, and I’m re-reading Fool right now (for the fifth or so time). Hilarious takes on old stories – like Gregory Macguire with a sense of humor.

   1. My 2 favorite authors are Clive Cussler and James Rollins. They each have multiple series and I’ve read all of their books and will probably continue to do so as long as they keep publishing books.

      I don’t read a ton of fiction, but I’m really into Gillian Flynn right now. I read Gone Girl a couple of weeks ago and really got sucked into it. Finished Sharp Objects last week and am 2/3 through Dark Places. I’ll likely read anything else she writes because I really like her style.

      Nonfiction-wise, I like to read things on topics I find interesting. Mary Roach’s books are on my list but they don’t have the ebook versions at my library so I haven’t read any yet. I’ll continue reading Robert Greene’s books as he writes them. Other than that, I read what sounds interesting regardless of the author.

      Oh and I’ve also been re-reading The Baby Sitters Club books. I got nostalgic for those books and have been re-reading them in order. Totally silly but fun to me.

   2. I will read anything by Neil Gaiman, and then when I’m inevitably disappointed by his newer books, write Goodreads reviews in letter-form telling him how disappointed I am. His earlier fantasy was so much better!

      Enjoying Deborah Harkness’s All Saints Series.

      Everything by Jasper Fforde, especially his Shades of Grey (unfortunately named but completely unrelated and published prior to the infamous similarly-named book).

      Looking into Neal Stephenson next. I love these book threads!

      1. I’ve heard good things about Neal Stephenson but haven’t read any yet. Let us know what you think! I aLeah’s get good ideas from these threads.

         1. I love both Terry Pratchett and Neal Stephenson. Warning that Stephenson’s “Baroque Cycle” books will send you on so many wiki-binges of historic figures/events that you may never finish. I am now reading only YA books, however (whatever I can get on free audiobook via my city’s overdrive).

         2. A hearty second for Neal Stephenson! I love the Baroque Cycle but if historical fiction is not something that interests you, he also writes sci fi/fantasy…

   3. Mine tend to be romance authors:
      Diana Gabladon Outlander series – at least the first 4-5 (I didn’t get around to reading the next few)
      Suzanne Brockmann (contemporary romantic suspense) – seriously, anything by her
      Courtney Milan – historical romance/not in a ballroom (mostly)

      Back in the day, Madeline L’Engle, Mercedes Lackey and Anne McCaffery

      1. Also really enjoy Terry Prachett, who just passed away, according to what I’m hearing.

         1. Yes, which makes me the saddest of nerds today. *hugs my kindle and sniffles*

   4. Um, I will resist posting my entire Goodreads shelf ;o). Favorites: Louise Erdrich (incredible Native American writer), Margaret Atwood, Zora Neale Hurston, Virginia Woolf, Gregory Maguire (the Wicked series), Vonnegut. But I also read a ton of non-fiction, so that’s lots of random people.

      For slightly more fluffy easy reads, I could read Anne Bishop (fantasy-ish epic stories) and Phillippa Gregory (historical fiction) all day. Seconding the Mercedes Lackey and Anne McCaffery back in the day, as well as Charles DeLint. <3

      1. Just finished Anne Bishop’s first 2 books in The Others series. Fun books, actually laughed out loud in places. Really frustrated that book 3 is $11 (ebook).

         1. I need to get the Others books, haven’t started those yet. I have reread the entire Black Jewels series so many times I don’t even know. I love how kicka$$ the women are. And, Mpls, I feel like we could totes be friends IRL ;o)

            1. If you ever find yourself in Minnesota, give me a shout :)

            2. No offense, but I hope I don’t ever find myself in Minnesota in the winter. ;o) But ditto if you ever find yourself in SF!

            3. Dude, it’s great the rest (other 6 months) of the year. That’s why people suffer through the winter.

   5. Margaret Atwood – the MaddAdam trilogy

      Jeannette Walls – pretty much anything she writes

      J. Martin Troost – hilarious travel writing

   6. Richard Russo, Barbara Kingsolver, David Sedaris. These are the authors I will read everything from, and I’ll even get a hardcover of a new book as I’m too excited to wait for the paperback.

10. Threadjack: Can you recommend a pair of black, patent leather oxford shoes. I had a pair for a couple years that I loved and wore a lot (with pants, with skirts and tights, with skirts and bare legs, etc.). The pair I had was by Jenny By Ara and seems not to be available any longer. (I wore them until they fell apart. Could not be saved.) I have tried an AGL pair but found it not comfortable for me (beautiful but stiff). Any other recommendations? Willing to pay about $100-$250 but not more.

    1. Paul Green makes very comfy oxfords but the all patent leather pair is $315-ish. If patent leather is negotiable though, Bloomingdale’s has a shiny leather/bit of suede pair for $209, plus extra discount if you join their free loyalist program.

11. I need some sense knocked into me. I’m an experienced attorney practicing in litigation. I work for a small firm that I could inherit when the partners retire but I don’t think that is what I want as a long term goal. Ultimately, I think I want to work in-house. I decided to dip my toe in the water and see what was out there. I made a list in my head of things I would want at a new job if I did decide to make the leap. I had one company in mind, in fact, as my “model.”

    A former colleague works at this company and they had an opening for an attorney but it was for someone far more experienced than I. I reached out to her anyway and ended up applying. I didn’t get the job but both she and the hiring person encouraged me to apply for another position that would be posted soon.

    The position does not contain the title attorney, lawyer or counsel. In fact, it contains a title that to many is a job someone can get right out of undergrad. However, at this company, they hire mostly attorneys for the job and it involves a ton of legal work. The pay would be the same if not more than I make now. The hours would be better. It is basically everything I was looking for responsibility wise. I just wouldn’t be “an attorney.”

    I’m the first of my family go to college and my family takes great pride in the fact that I’m an attorney. I’m consumed with some kind of weird guilt about possibly taking a job with a “lesser” title. I recognize it could lead to great other opportunities too. I’d be crazy not to take it if I get an offer.

    Advice? Commiseration? If it matters, while they hire a ton of attorneys for this job, one does not need to be an attorney to get the job, but they would need other certifications.

    1. I don’t find that crazy. You wouldn’t be working as an attorney. One of the most valuable parts of my degree is getting to say that I am. It sounds like you have a pretty good job now so I don’t see anything wrong with passing on this- it’s not your dream job if your dream job include being a lawyer.

       I’d also wonder how this works moving forward. Do these people move into a GC role? You’re probably not going to get the recognition you need to move into that job at another company.

    2. There are a number of positions like this at my organization, so although there are many lawyers working here, only those of us in the Counsel’s Office actually represent the organization. Others have jobs ranging from procurement to sexual harassment prevention officer that definitely benefit from their legal training but aren’t “lawyers representing the organization.”

       Would you be an attorney for the company (can represent them in court, can establish A-C privilege for what others tell you)? If so, perhaps they would rework the title a bit? If not, then my practical advice would be to keep up your MCLE and bar dues and whatever else you need in your jurisdiction so that you do not let your license lapse, in case you want to return to practice.

       I should add that I have a former law firm colleague who is now a mucky-muck real estate financial executive making tons of money “doing deals.” She never gives a second thought to no longer practicing law.

       1. I have someone like this on my team. He is/was a practicing atty, but is in a role in my company that while a JD is helpful, it is not required. He does not represent our company in a legal capacity and does not report up to or through the GC.

          However, I cover his dues out of my budget (because I’m nice..and also, I didn’t hire him, but he is severely underpaid for the value he brings, IMHO…which is a separate project of mine!) so he is still legally an atty. Just not on his business card. He does include his JD with his title.

    3. I would feel weird about not being an “attorney” too. Would it be harder to get an attorney job after being in a non-attorney job for a while? Would there be potential to advance to an attorney position like the one you applied for and didn’t get? I think that, apart from any prestige issues, there are risks involved in getting yourself off the attorney career path.

    4. It’s just a title, what you do matters, and if it’s the company/position you want, you can fix the title later. IMHO.

       Perhaps others who have more experience may have different perspectives.

       1. I’m not so sure about fixing the title later when there are lots of people doing this job, some of whom are not lawyers.

    5. Honestly, I don’t see why it makes a difference. You can tell your friends you’re an attorney – who cares what the official title is. On your resume, the substance of the work will presumably be the same. If it still bothers you after you have been working there for a few years, meet with a supervisor and say that when you work with outside parties they make incorrect assumptions about what your role entails, so you wanted to see if they’d be open to changing the title.

    6. At the start of this, I was getting ready to say don’t get caught up in titles, that usually just keeps you from great opportunities. But I think this is actually a different question. You’re considering moving to a job where you will not be a lawyer anymore. It’s often called “going to the business side” and it can impact your legal career in significant ways. You will effectively be stopping the clock on your legal experience so if you decide you prefer to be a practicing lawyer, these years won’t count as legal practice. They will count as “other business experience” but they may make it hard to go back to a true lawyer role, in-house or at a firm. It can be a great decision, I know a lot of lawyers who made the switch and are really happy. But know that it’s a lot more than a prestige/title issue. (I think this is the source of the pop culture wisdom that one can “do anything with a law degree”.)

       1. Great answer. I second this.

       2. This sums up my thoughts too. I have a friend who left litigation and went to a non-attorney position at a big company. Apparently that company also has a lot of lawyers in business roles. It took a while for her to make her way back to an attorney role even within the same company.

       3. But she said the job involves a lot of legal work, so I don’t agree that it will put a full hold on legal experience. If you are doing legal work, you are doing legal work, despite your title. Could it make it harder to sell yourself as an attorney in the future, sure, but if you work it right, it actually could be beneficial. An attorney with actual business experience and knowledge is something businesses do look for.

          1. Doing legal work =/= practicing law, and I think that’s the distinction that Scarlett is (correctly) making.

             1. I understand that. But I think you can still market yourself as having utilized your legal skills during the time period where you were not practicing law, since you are still utilizing your legal skills. Perhaps I am being dense, but IME you still keep your skills sharp if you are doing legal work even if you are not practicing law. Now if this position is compliance or contract negotiation and she wants to go back into litigation later on, then sure, that would be an impediment. However, that would also be the case if she moved into an attorney compliance/contracts position and wanted to go back to litigation later.

             2. I think you can make a good shot of marketing yourself that way, but it would certainly depend on where you hope to go after. If I ask for 3-5 years of experience, I’m looking for law practice, not “legal work.”

             3. Fair point! I think it depends on what her long-term goals are.

          2. .

    7. Yay! Kat, I love this Tee Shirt b/c it is not to sheer, but $68 is a littel pricey for me. Other’s who have more money can buy it.

       As for the OP, I’ve been there and done that. You want to find a position you are COMFORTEABLE with, even if the title is NOT attorney. The key is workeing envirnment and hours and PAY, and if you do NOT want to work all kind’s of hour’s, like I do, and be abel to foyst off the tough stuff on external counsel (like me), I would go for the in house position b/c they have an easy life. And from what you say, the pay is good and the hour’s are good.

       Personaly, I too am considering goeing in house so that I can cut back on my hour’s and hire outside counsel to do the dirty work for me. I am also considering applying to be a judge, and also thinkeing of becomeing a law school profesor, b/c they work the least of all and get paid a decent salary for doeing not realy that much. So many of my law school profesors spent alot of time chaseing women like me and tryeing to get them to sleep with them for higher grade’s. I resisted all of those guy’s advances, and as a result, I was NOT abel to make law reveiw, or write articel’s for the law review like a few other pretty law students did. FOOEY! As a result, I could NOT get a good job out of law school, and wound up serveing supeenie’s for a schlubby firm near City Hall until I got this job with the manageing partner. YAY!

       So for now, I am happy, but will STILL persue the inhouse oportunity and a judgeship, and mabye go into teaching PART TIME once I get MARRIED and have a child. If you are interested in haveing a child, mabye you should consider doeing this also. YAY!

       My dad got my Tax Return’s back from HIS acountant, and he said that I will be geting a $322 refund b/c of my HOME OFFICE deducteion! YAY! I guess I am glad my dad took my workout stuff out of my extra bedroom to make it into a HOME OFFICE. We have the wireless ROOTER in there just to make clear this room is for BUSNESS! YAY!! I encourage the HIVE to get a wireless rooter and put it into a seperate room so that you can ALSO get a home office deduction. Dad is comeing by to have ME sign my return so he can send it in. I wish he would just sign it so that I can just focus on bieng a LAWYER and findeing a HUSBAND! DOUBEL YAY!!!!

    8. If you absolutely want to be an attorney, and only an attorney, then do not take the job. If you want a job that is interesting, provides upward mobility, has better hours, the level of responsibility you want, the pay you want, and includes legal work, take the job if you are offered it.

       For what it’s worth, I am an attorney, but I am not working in an “attorney” role. While I don’t announce myself as an attorney to those I am negotiating with (it’s beneficial not to actually), my peers know that I am and I know that I am. It just doesn’t matter to me that everyone in the world knows I am an attorney. I am working at a fabulous company, with endless upward mobility, doing interesting work, utilizing my legal training, with good hours, good pay, good benefits, with folks I respect and like (the majority of whom are also attorneys but are not working in attorney roles), etc. I can’t imagine giving any of this up just to have my business card say attorney. I am the only attorney in my family, but they are proud of me regardless of the title on my business card. I would hope your family and friends would feel the same way.

       My personal opinion is that it would be silly not to take this job purely because the word attorney is not in the title. You’ll still BE an attorney, so long as you keep up your CLEs, etc. My company pays for that because they want us to be attorneys even if we aren’t attorneys on the org chart. Being on the business side is so much more beneficial than being on the legal team. The legal team has such limited upward mobility and they are bogged down with legal stuff. I get to do the fun stuff without people hassling me on the legal stuff. :)

       1. This is very company specific. My former company had both attorneys and contracts professionals and the advancement opportunities for the latter were a lot more limited. It was also very difficult to move into an attorney role from the contracts professional track.

          OP, I’d advise you to do your due diligence on whether the company is more like CountC’s company or my former company. If you can, talk to the people who are in the role. Find out what the typical career path is like and whether there are opportunities for advancement. I don’t think the title matters much for this particular role, but it can make a huge difference for your next role(s).

          1. Very good point. At my company business folks who are attorneys can and do move into attorney roles if that is what they want to do.

       2. +1 I couldn’t say it any better. I went from a position as an attorney at a largge law firm (where I hated life and most of my coworkers) to a non-attorney role in which I still practice law and make the same amount of money, but I have way better hours (and they are non-billable!!!), good benefits, work with people who are actually nice and respect me, and I love my job. It gave me momentary pause to give up the “attorney” title, but that title sure wasn’t worth hating what I did. My coworkers now (all attorneys) refer to me as an attorney to others (which is nice, but not necessary) and my company pays my dues, so I am still “treated” like an attorney, even thought it isn’t in my job description.

    9. Thank you all for your input. There is a lot to think about here. You helped me articulate some of the questions I want to ask if I get to the next step.

    10. I’m an attorney working in government. My job description is not “Attorney” or “Legal Counsel” but I’m still an attorney, I’m just not practicing law. The job sounds like a good fit for you, I wouldn’t write it off because it doesn’t have attorney in the title.

12. Anyone want to find a unicorn for me? I’ve been pinning pictures of pastel pink blazers (not blush – doesn’t work with my skin tone) for two years, but have yet to find one. I’m trying to keep it under $150. There’s actually one at H&M in jersey that will work, but it’s a smidge tighter than I’d like.

    1. Asos has 3 under $100.

       1. How did I forget about Asos? Ok, next question, where to get a blazer tailored in DC?

          1. Any Lofton – JC Lofton or Cheryl Lofton.

    2. There’s one at BCBG right now. I can’t find it on the website but I saw it in store (on sale) and it’s the perfect shade of pastel pink.

    3. I got one at F21 last year that I love!

       1. I bought that one last year as well, but it was too small. I have crazy gorilla shoulders. :-/

          But the friend I gave it to (since F21 doesn’t do returns basically ever) loves it!

    4. A good friend of mine recently bought a pale pink blazer at Marshall’s. I know inventory is different at all of those, but she said the brand was Cynthia Rowley. It was a longer blazer with a bit of a “boyfriend” fit, but it was beautiful. (I went to my own Marshall’s in search of it, but no luck).

13. Night-time skin cream recs?

    I’m trying to up my skincare game. I have sensitive skin on my face – most moisturizers give me mild breakouts, I can’t use mineral makeup, and I once used a liquid sunscreen that made my face blow up like a watermelon :) I’ve so far tried Burt’s Bees night cream and Body Shop’s Vitamin E night cream for sensitive skin. They’re fine in terms of not ruining my skin, but I don’t know how good they are at keeping my skin looking good in the long-term.

    I’d like to go up to the more high-end stuff, but am not sure I want to drop $100+ on something that I’ll be mildly allergic to. Has anyone with sensitive skin had good luck with any non-drugstore creams?

    Thanks!

    1. I have sensitive skin (and I use a retinol at night, so this is relevant for the poster above too I think). I recommend Vivite Replenish Hydrating Cream at night. Very moisturizing, recommended for use with retinols, and doesn’t irritate my skin.

       1. http://www.amazon.com/Vivite-Replenish-Hydrating-Cream-Ounce/dp/B001FYV87O

    2. Are there any specific issues that you’re trying to address or just anti-aging in general? I would check out makeupartistschoice dot com. They have a variety of creams/serums for all sorts of issues and all of their products are available in sample sizes, so you don’t have to spend a lot of money on something that doesn’t work. If you email customer services about your issues they’ll recommend products for you.

    3. I’ve had good luck with Paula’s Choice products and I think they do returns/exchanges/ samples. For drugstore products, CeraVe plays nicely with my skin.

    4. I swear I don’t work for them – I like LUSH’s Imperialis for balancing my skin, and their Celestial is designed for sensitive skin. Also, they’ll give you sample sizes of everything you want to try.

       1. I have been using Celestial for years and it is AWESOME. Great for sensitive and dry skin. It really helps keep my redness down. NB: you’ll need sunscreen if you use it as a day cream.

    5. Wow, that was a lot of awesome replies really fast! Thanks everyone – I’ve got a bunch of ideas I’ll totally go explore!

       To answer one poster’s question: I’m mostly trying to do anti-aging. I’m 30 and my skin looks pretty good right now even if I don’t do anything to it, but I read things by older women who look amazing like Martha Stewart and they always say “moisturize!”

       1. In terms of anti-aging, the two best things you can do for your skin are daily sunscreen and retinoids. No other products/ingredients have the wealth of clinical evidence of effectiveness than these two. Prescription retinoids are the most effective, but also harsher, so drugstore options may actually be better for you. I hear good things about Neutrogena and RoC products, though Paula’s Choice and MUAC would also be good in that price range. You definitely want to start slowly, by one or a combination of a lower percentage of retinoid, a weaker type of retinoid (see here for more info and product suggestions http://www.skinacea.com/retinoids/types-of-retinoids.html#.VQG7MPnF-TA), only using every other day or a few times a week, or buffering with lotion (link to follow). Using a weaker retinoid/method is still better than nothing at all.

          1. How to use retinoids right. See part 2 for how to buffer http://www.skinacea.com/retinoids/use-retinoids-right-part-one.html#.VQG75PnF-TA

             1. Can you clarify what exactly I should expect the retinoid to do? I bought the Philosophy “Help Me” retinoid cream, and I used it nightly for several months until the tube was empty. It was fine, but I don’t see noticeable changes– am I supposed to? Or is it just preventative? To be fair, I’m 29 and my skin looks pretty good (I think), but I do have faint forehead lines from being fairly “eyebrow expressive” when I speak. I thought this might help diminish those lines, but it didn’t. Am I doing it wrong, or just expecting too much? Thanks for your help!

             2. They’re definitely preventative, but you should also see results, which may vary depending on the type of retinoid, condition of your skin and what you would like it to do. Some retinoids are better than others for specific issues, but in general retinoids will reduce/eliminate acne, prevent aging and decrease signs of aging including fine lines/wrinkles, discoloration, etc. Your skin should also be smoother and brighter.

                A retinoid should definitely decrease fine forehead lines. You may need to use a stronger type of retinoid (see first link I posted) or you may accidentally be decreasing its effectiveness (see second link posted). It also takes time to see results (weeks to months) but it sounds like you gave it enough time.

             3. Thank you!

    6. My skin is super-sensitive, but may be different from yours, so take this with a grain of salt. I tend to get red and stingy easily, but don’t break out.

       I recently started using Clinique Moisture Surge Overnight Mask, and I love it. The winter (which may finally be ending, fingers crossed?) made my skin so dry that it felt like it had shrunk to two sizes smaller than my face. I tried a Perricone moisturizer for 3X the price, but it was only so-so. The Clinique is really working.

       If you have a Sephora nearby, they often have samples available, so you can try before you buy. Also, you can always return items there.

    7. love Dr Brandt Glow – see if you can get a sample to see if you’re sensitive to it, but I swear multiple people complimented me on my complexion within three weeks of starting to use it

    8. I also have sensitive skin and was looking to try some better products recently. Someone here recommended Kate Somerville Goat Milk Cream and I love it. No scent, no reaction, feels great. A cheaper option I tried while struggling with very dry skin on my cheeks at the beginning of the winter was Weleda Almond Soothing Facial Oil. For anti-aging products beyond just moisturizer, I tried Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair serum and liked it at first but it’s irritating my skin just a bit now. (One of the more annoying characteristics of my skin is that it will seem to be fine with a product for some time, then suddenly start reacting anywhere from 3 to 12 months in to using it.) I am currently working my way through a large sample of Clinique Smart Serum and like that very much so far.

    9. I have very sensitive skin (+ really oily as a teen + 2 courses of Accutane + skin cancer in my family). My dermatologist private labels serums from Replenix. On even nights, I use Replenix Retinol 2X; on odd nights, I use Replenix Dermal Restructuring Therapy. Neither one has ever caused any issue. They have kept my skin tone fresh and bright and my skin texture smooth and young. I think you might also be able to purchase online (or ask Replenix online which MD near you carries it).

14. Any advice for someone moving to Lancaster, PA this summer? I’m a bit of a city person, but circumstances are making this necessary. I will not know anyone (other than my husband) and I’m a little nervous about being isolated. I’m in my early 30s and I like reading, coffee shops, fashion, dance, running, and being outside.

    1. I love Lancaster!! My boyfriend lives there. It has lots of fun things going on. Email me at $hitmensaytowomen at googlemail replacing the dollar sign with an S. I would be happy to talk to you about the area. I am a runner, I also like reading, coffee shops, being outside, and fashion. Currently I live about 40 mins away, but I am in Lanc quite a bit :)

    2. .

    3. Lancaster is about 1.5h easy drive to Philly for going to “big” things (theater, sports, shopping, etc.), and very close to Harrisburg. I used to live in Philadelphia and I have a close friend working as a government attorney in Harrisburg (the capital of PA) and there is a very vibrant young professionals network there (think, networking events, softball leagues, kickball, etc., the usual ways I’ve met new people when I have come to a new city). Because it’s so close to Harrisburg, there are a lot of charity events and political fundraisers as well; when I was living in Philly I would travel up there a few times a year for such events. In Lancaster itself there is a young professionals networking group, just google it (don’t want the link to send me into moderation). Two of my closest friends from college grew up in and around Lancaster/Reading/Harrisburg, and I was born in York, so I’m very biased toward that area.

       1. +1 I live in Harrisburg and second all of this. The YP group in Harrisburg is how I initially met people when I moved to the area (outside of law school). I love Central Penn!

          1. Thanks to both! I’ll be in touch, CountC!

       2. I’m actually really glad to read all of this about Central PA. My boyfriend is from there and I have this recurring fear that if we end up moving to Harrisburg, that I will just be alllll aloooone other than his family and friends, who are great but not really into the kind of things I would be into.

          1. If it makes you feel any better, I grew up in Northern VA, lived in Harrisburg for 7 years, moved back to NoVA, and then after 2 years promptly came back to Harrisburg. I moved here for law school with every intention of transferring to a school in DC after my first year (which I could have done), but ended up really loving the area and staying! The only reason I moved back to NoVA was for a boy, which was stupid. My professional network is very strong here, my best friends are here (who I met after I moved here), there is a strong group of young professionals working to make the city more and more appealing other YPs, and I am never bored if I don’t want to be! There are tons of social sports leagues, running groups, and other [insert your interest] groups. Plus, as was mentioned above, there are large cities a short drive/train ride away in case you get that itch.

    4. I don’t know much about Lancaster but I’m making a move to Allentown, PA (my SO works there), and it doesn’t seem terribly far.

       1. Aww, I’m from Lancaster and glad to see it getting some love! Honestly it is so much more vibrant and fun now than when I left (late 90s). A lot of great restaurants and businesses have sprung up in the city. That being said, if you are a city person I’d recommend living in the city or as close to it as you can get. The county itself is pretty conservative, very suburban/driving-everywhere-oriented, and really not diverse at all. I hope you love it, though! (Go to Central Market right away; eat some whoopie pies; learn how to freeze or can because the produce there is the best in the world!; get powdered cream-filled donuts from the Akron Shop-Rite; eat at Shady Maple Smorsgasbord at least once!)

    5. I live in Harrisburg and go to Lancaster every once in awhile. It’s really a neat place and there is a lot do! The downtown area has really exploded in the last few years and there are lots of nice restaurants, bars, etc. The farmers market is also really great. On one Friday each month in the summer all of the bars have live music. If you’re a lawyer, I know they have an active young lawyers association too. I really don’t think you’ll feel isolated at all! Plus, you can easily get to Philly, NYC, Baltimore, and D.C. if you need to get away to a big city! Good Luck!

       1. Hi fellow Harrisburgian (or are we Harrisburgers?)!

          1. Hello fellow HBGR!

    6. I grew up in Lancaster, PA, and my parents still live there. So do most of my high school friends. I think you will find a lot of culture there if you look for it. Downtown Lancaster is surprisingly cute, and it has some fun events as they are trying to revitalize it. Be sure to check out first Fridays, on the first Fridays of every month, where they open up all the art galleries til late and offer free wine. There is frequently live music, and people sort of wander around the downtown from bar to gallery. The farmers markets are amazing in Lancaster – real amish do sell their produce and baked goods there (my favorite is Roots Market, open Tuesdays), and the restaurant scene could be worse. Have a drink at Lancaster DipCo, its my favorite bar and has great food. As for meeting friends, I think if you put some effort into getting involved with groups that suit your interests you will find people. Lancaster is a very conservative place, but the people have dramatically changed in the past 20 years as the area has diversified. Still lots of people turn to their church groups to meet people, so if that floats your boat, I highly recommend joining a church. Being non-religious myself, I never made friends that way, but I know a lot of people who do and regularly do church related fun activities with YP groups.

       1. I grew up in Hershey. LOVE Roots. When I was a child my grandparents would take me there every tuesday in the summer :)

    7. Lancaster Brewing Co. for craft beer and great farm to table food

15. Wrong place.

16. A friend in NoVa in family law was just downsized at the small firm she worked at for the past two years. The firm told her to keep in touch and send her bar results in case business picks back up. She just took the bar two weeks ago, so she’s still waiting for results. Not in law myself, but anything I should tell her to do? Anyone know of a firm looking in the area? She’s open to expanding to other specialties as well.

    1. Honestly, at this point, most firms won’t hire until they see her bar results. There are just too many already-barred attorneys looking for work in NoVA. But there are TONS of small firms in the area. She should immediately start researching which ones do family law or litigation and she should ask a partner at her old firm if (s)he would be willing to provide a letter of recommendation or networking help.

       1. If she’s been working in NoVa for 2 years, why isn’t she barred? Depending on the answer, I would say not to wait until she gets results. That could take months, and typically the only places that care whether you’re barred (as opposed to about-to-be barred) are government offices where you’re thrown into court right away. But if the reason she’s not barred is not easily explained, she should definitely wait so she doesn’t have to explain.

17. Is there a way to search that will pull up old comment threads? The search function is only pulling up posts themselves.

    1. Google gets you there “search terms” site:sitename.com (avoiding moderation here) It searches comments and posts.

18. Decision:

    1) Stay in BigLaw, at a firm where I’ve generally been really happy (except for the handful of times when the sheer stress of litigation gets at me and I cry under my desk, but those are all about workload, not about mean partners or anything like that), and where I have a pretty good shot (I’m estimating 75%, maybe higher) at making partner in 2016 and where my practice group keeps saying things like “We really want you to stay with the expectation of making partner,”

    OR

    2) Take a government job (still doing litigation) with better quality of life, a lot less money, and no upward mobility?

    I’m really struggling here. If I knew I was 100% going to make partner, I’d stay – no questions. If I knew I wasn’t going to make partner, I’d take the government job. I’m the breadwinner, have children – my time matters, but so does my income.

    Obviously, this is only a snapshot, with many omitted details. But because I’m spiraling a little on this decision, I would love insight. What would you do? What questions should I be asking?

    1. Think about why you are so certain you want to be partner; what, specifically, appeals to you abou that role/position? Of those, what quality makes it your absolute favorite? Then, think about if the other job can satisfy that need or desire. For example, if it is the money, the government will never give you that. Or, if it is the responsibility, the government can give that to you. Then go through this process with the government position and why you are drawn to that option.

       Remember, this isn’t about the job title. What is the underlying needs or desires you seek to fulfill?

    2. Did you say 2016? I’d absolutely stay and see what happens. You wouldn’t be eliminating option 2 if you did, and you say in your post you’d absolutely stay if you made partner. You will know in a year or 18 months max!

       1. +1. The government jobs will be there 18 months from now if you need to leave. I’m a government litigator and most of our recent hires have been BigLaw refugees.

    3. Is the question making partner at all or is it making partner in 2016? Although I think either way if you’re happy where you are and would be happy being a partner in your group, I would probably stay. You can always apply for another government position if you don’t make partner in 2016. The drop in “prestige” and pay can be hard to swallow, especially if your entire social circle is still making BigLaw money, so I would hate for you to give that up when you’re not unhappy in your current position.

       I hated working in litigation and could not see myself handling the stress of it long-term (especially since I planned to have children), so I left a midsized firm and took a government job (as an attorney, but not litigation) with better quality of life, a lot less money, and no upward mobility. I was concerned about the money and the lack of upward mobility, but I could not be happier. I’m certainly capable of more challenging work than I am doing, but I do my job well, my coworkers are pleasant people, and I’m always home in time to cook dinner for my family. I am also the breadwinner which definitely means we had to make lifestyle adjustments. We rarely eat out and I can no longer buy a dress just because it’s cute and on sale. But we’re not exactly hurting for money. I have no plans to leave my job or look for work elsewhere.

    4. I would recommend that you stick it out and see what there is for you at your firm. I was totally in your position, and then was surprised when a better firm (in every sense) recruited me before I was up for partner consideration. I was totally not looking for the opportunity, but I could basically work 80% at my firm now and make the same, if not more, comp than at a government position. Firms work you hard, but there are a lot of nice perks with being the private sector, including the money, potential for large bonuses if you have a good year, and free coffee.

    5. This is a know your firm situation, but consider talking to the partners in your firm about your chances of making partner. Be honest with them about the fact that you are considering taking a government job (but carefully craft your reasons why so they don’t hurt your partnership chances). If they aren’t honest with you/won’t answer, maybe you don’t want to be a partner at that firm. Plus, telling them you’re thinking about leaving might encourage them to make a partnership decision faster than they might have otherwise.

19. reposting from the other day

    I recently had the nexplanon inserted. It’s been about a week and it is still very sore and hurts sometimes when I bend my arm. For ladies who have this, is this just the “normal” soreness that wears off or worth a call to the dr? I’m trying to avoid going in if I can.

    1. Responded late on the other post, but this was my experience. I didn’t stop feeling it until two and a half or three weeks after insertion.

       1. thank you!!

20. Bought this online but returned it because there was just too much fabric around the waist for the peplum. I’d avoid unless you’re ok with adding additional bulk to that area.

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