Coffee Break: Hedde Pump

76 Comments

1. I basically never wear heels anymore (casual office and they hurt my feet) but this makes me wish I did. Gorgeous.

   1. They’re like the platonic ideal of a pointy-toed pump. With four weddings this summer and the holidays looming I don’t need to be shoe shopping, but dang these are great.

      1. Yes they are, and I am going to get a pair on Saturday in White Plains’s Nordstrom’s. I dare NOT do a web order this time b/c of the pointy toe, b/c I think I have a bunion on my little toe. Dad says to get rid of it at a podiatrist ASAP b/c no one will marry a girl with a bunion, but I disagree. He NEVER said that when Rosa had a bunion, and Ed married her, so I think he is just trying to make me feel bad about haveing a bunion. FOOEY on him for doeing that and more importantly, FOOEY on bunion’s!

   2. +1

   3. +1. Now I just need to commit to the fact that I just don’t wear heels anymore and get rid of the 20+ pairs in my closet from when I used to.

      1. YASSSS THIS

      2. Free yourself. I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life, but this was one of my best ones.

         1. PS I’ve walked behind quite a few women in my life who can walk in heels, but way way more who can’t. It definitely takes away from the elegant look the heel wearer is going for when she’s wobbling with every steps or walking like she’s new to wearing ice skates and is skating on the inside edge.

            1. I was once stopped on my college campus by an older woman who told me that my mother must be proud of me because I knew how to walk in heels. I had no idea what she was referring to.

   4. +2. I need to recalibrate my internal meter of shoe-cuteness because the same shoe in a flat would NOT be as cute to me. But I have sworn off heels, other than boots that can have up to one inch (because finding a flattering flat boot is near impossible), so these are a no-go for me.

   5. I love the colour but there is something about the heel curve from the side view that is bothering me…maybe if they were half an inch higher it would be curative.

      1. Agree. These are “platonic,” as noted above. I’d take them out in a pinch, but I’m not turned on.

      2. I actually like that detail. I think it gives them something a little extra.

         1. I am Anonymous at 4:24. I don’t love the shoe, but a little curve in makes heels much more comfortable because it balances weight better, so I don’t object to the curve itself.

2. Say you are going to a basketball game with clients. And then you find that you have to share your space with Office Backstabber.

   How do I manage not to have a Hold My Beer moment during this? [I wish for no drama, but Office Backstabber takes every ounce of my considerable composure not to throw OB under the bus where OB clearly deserves to be. I might even have help and a cheering section but really just want OB to go away and not ruin my event.]

   1. It’s not your event. It’s for the clients. Stay far away from your nemesis and have some mantras to get you through it, like “this will sound ridiculous when I text my bff about it later”

      1. Yeah, don’t look for drama. Whether it’s your intent or not, that’s how this post reads. Just adult and back away.

   2. Just remember how awesome it is when people view you as mature, level headed, rational, professional, and not dramatic or otherwise horrible. Use that feeling as a source of satisfaction to replace the satisfaction you want from throwing her under the bus. Let her fall on her own merits (or lack thereof). Usually, it all comes out in the wash.

   3. Don’t drink. When I’m with a volatile person I’m more likely to engage if my inhibitions have been dampened by alcohol. Be pleasant and engaging and completely ignore rude comments. Maybe even leave a blank pause after one to let them hang in the air so everyone can smell it like a rotten fart. OB will show themselves.

   4. I found that when I raise a flag on office misconduct I get called disruptive. So instead I have gone to a position of non engagement. I engage with the backstabber in person pleasantly and otherwise ignore him.

3. I desperately need to fill in some gaps in my work wardrobe. What are you shopping for this fall? Winter isn’t too bad around here so I mostly need transitional pieces (including shoes!).

   1. I recently bought suede mules from Sam Edelman and I love them! They work for my business casual and weekend wardrobe.

4. Shopping help please! What flats do you wear with sheath dresses? Flat booties? Flat knee high boots? Heels of any kind are really, really out.

   1. I am in the SE, so maybe that is coloring my response, but I am having a hard time picturing any kind of flat boot/bootie with a sheath dress. Pointed-toe flats and oxfords (a specific kind of look) I can picture.

   2. I wear pointy flats, link to follow.

   3. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LGW0M30/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1

      They don’t have them in pewter in my size any more… if they did I’d be buying another pair for when this one dies.

   4. Round toe ballet flats (Land’s End) or flat knee-high riding boots (Frye). In the winter, I also wear my Dansko booties (way cuter than the clogs, IMO, but just as comfy), but those have a bit of a heel to them even if it doesn’t feel like it to my non-heel-wearing feet and knees.

   5. I think it depends on the sheath and what vibe I’m going for. I wear flat: booties, knee high boots, mules, d’orsay, and ballet flats. If the sheath is dressier, I lean towards mules or d’orsay. If it’s funkier, booties. If I’m having a blah day and grabbing my ponte sheath, then boots or ballet flats.

      1. I’ve worn fancy-ish oxfords and matching tights with a sheath dress. My oxfords do have a 3/4″ heel though.

   6. I’ve found the AGL ballet flats to be very good for dresses. I’d also do knee high boots, but only with tights and a heavier cold-weather sheath.

   7. If I’m wearing flats with a pencil skirt or a sheath I think it looks way better if they are pointy toed, and even better if they have an ankle strap. It gives the shoe more of the look of a high heel without the discomfort.

5. Can you use Nordstrom rewards alteration dollars to alter clothes from the Rack? Can’t find an easy answer online.

   1. Yes. I only get my clothes tailored at the Rack, not Nordstrom.

   2. I brought in a dress that was purchased from Nordstrom years ago to be altered and they didn’t ask me where it was from, so my gut is that it doesn’t matter where it was purchased from?

6. It’s not your event. It’s for the clients. Stay far away from your nemesis and have some mantras to get you through it, like “this will sound ridiculous when I text my bff about it later”

7. I left biglaw to do an independent project (not law practice), but am keeping my law license active. My CLE compliance deadline is coming up and for the first time, I’m coming up short on CLEs. Besides going to seminars sponsored by my old firm and going to the websites of other firms to look for seminars, any advice for getting interesting and helpful CLEs (preferably without paying exorbitant rates)?

   I’m in Palo Alto, California if that makes a difference. I’m primarily interested in employment law, but am also happy to take CLEs in other areas.

   1. Lots of law schools have CLEs that are free or low cost and open to the public. I would check if the local schools have anything that you might find interesting.

   2. Lexis has some painful but free ones.

   3. PLI online has a whole section for free. It’s a search term.

   4. Bloomberg has tons of free CLEs and many are useful, although not particularly interesting (data privacy, etc.)

   5. Thanks, all!

   6. I used to be barred in CA and I think there’s a limit on how much CLE you can self-report. You will probably have to pay to do some official, in person ones. The Lexis/PLI webinars are considered self-reported because the state bar can’t independently verify you did them. I let my CA license lapse for this reason.

      1. I’m CA-barred but not living in the US, and I’ve used Attorney Credits (dot com). They sell individual CLEs, and bundles that include a variety of courses including the mandatory ethics, substance abuse, and professional responsibility, etc. The bundles at least are reasonably priced in my view — currently $110 for 25 credit hours, more expensive if you want an mp3 bundle or CDs, though if you do the online option you can individually download the courses as mp3s. You can stream audio or video, or download the courses, and for each you can choose either self-study or participatory. For participatory, if you do streaming video a little box will pop up a few times during the presentation that you have to click on to prove you’re still following. If you download or do audio it will interrupt a few times with codes that you will then have to enter online in order to get your certificate. Some of the courses have been great, some not so, but I find that true of in person CLEs as well.

   7. Miller Law Group offers monthly free employment law webinars – see if you can get on their list, they’re in SF so it’s California focused.

   8. Santa Clara County Bar Association is inexpensive and has CLEs for members.

8. What work outfit do you wear that makes you feel super confident? I need a boost and am looking for inspiration.

   1. MM LaFleur Aditi Dress is Crackle with a sleek black blazer (forget the brand) and patent leather black Lanvin flats I got on poshmark. Love how sleek I think I look in it.

      1. Yes! I just bought the Aditi and a jardigan! So excited for them to arrive!

   2. I have a wine coloured Tahari sheath with elbow length sleeves and fur trim around the hem that fits like it was made for me. I have a short, nipped waist one button black blazer over with black tights and my favourite black pumps (Louboutin Bianca in patent – don’t judge). Feel like I could slay a dragon and then eat a cheeseburger, like a boss.

   3. For me this is event and geography dependent.

9. I was the poster here debating whether to get a purple Longchamp tote bag a few weeks back and just wanted to say that I got it and have been loving it so far! I love the purple color and how much I can fit in it.

10. I will be attending an art/film exhibition and have nothing to wear. I am struggling to find something. I don’t think this is cocktail – more night out on the town. Size 16 and proportional build. Would love something that involves pants not a dress due to leg blemishes, but would welcome dress suggestions, too. You all are so great with suggestions, and I’d appreciate any ideas. Would pay up to $300 for something I could wear regularly, but less is of course better.

    1. I’m an artist/work in the arts and unless this is a benefit/gala/expensive fundraiser kind of thing I would assume you could wear nice jeans and a fun top, sort of like what you might wear on a date.

       1. Helpful. But I also don’t have anything I would wear on a date. Weight gain + no social life . . . I’d love to have something that I could later wear to the theatre, which is something I do often (but poorly dressed or in work clothes).

    2. What’s your favorite part of your body, what’s least? I’m also a size 16 and favorite is clavicle (least is tummy) so I go for a lot of pooled scoopnecks, almost off the shoulder sweaters, etc. If weather will be nice you could also try an artsy shift dress. I have this one
       https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-j-goweave-v-neck-cocoon-dress-black?collection=dresses
       but have seen similar at Uniqlo ($) and Maria Cornejo ($$$).

    3. I’m a 14/16 and love asos – their 14 in the non plus line fits me, and so do smaller sizes of the curve line (their in hours plus sizes). So I have lots of options – they stock other brands but their asos branded stuff tends to fit me best, british sizes seem to accomodate a large chest well. It’s a good store for edgier or trendy clothing. I would probably wear all black for something like this, leggings or skinny pants, an interesting top probably something asymmetrical, moto jacket and ankle boots with a bit of a chunky heel.

       1. I fantasy shopped a little for you.

          I realized a jumpsuit would be perfect for this!
          https://us.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-tux-jumpsuit/prd/10157673?clr=black&SearchQuery=&cid=7618&gridcolumn=3&gridrow=17&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=266
          https://us.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-wrap-jumpsuit-with-3-4-sleeve/prd/6500811?clr=black&SearchQuery=&cid=7618&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=18&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=266
          if you don’t love black:
          https://us.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-wrap-jumpsuit-with-self-belt/prd/9390015?clr=olive&SearchQuery=&cid=7618&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=14&gridsize=4&pge=3&pgesize=72&totalstyles=266

          this top is really cool: https://us.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-jacquard-wrap-top-with-fringe/prd/9372185?clr=green&SearchQuery=&cid=4167&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=2&pgesize=72&totalstyles=291

          if you want something more lacy/feminine: https://us.asos.com/club-l-plus/club-l-plus-crochet-sleeve-top-with-mesh-upper/prd/9760677?clr=duck-egg-blue&SearchQuery=&cid=4167&gridcolumn=2&gridrow=12&gridsize=4&pge=2&pgesize=72&totalstyles=291

    4. I am about your size. Are you tall? I’m tall so this may be tall specific advice but for events like this I wear black work separates (in my case, sleeveless black top and black pencil skirt) with ankle strap black flats or silver low heeled shoes. Then rather than my work jacket or cardigan I wear a pretty wrap and some dangly earrings, and I swap out my work tote for a small bag like a clutch or a small crossbody.

       Here’s the wrap I’m picturing wearing if I were going to such an event tonight

       https://store.metmuseum.org/floral-bouquet-border-shawl-80024210

    5. I would go with an all black outfit (maybe ankle pants and a low cut top) and a long chiffon duster in either a lighter colour or a floral print. I bought this one from Torrid with velvet trim and have worn it over all black, with dark cuffed jeans, open toe booties and a sexy tank and over a plain black dress.

       https://www.torrid.com/product/black-floral-velvet-trim-chiffon-kimono/11458388.html?cgid=Clothing_Jackets_KimonosWraps#start=15

       Perhaps because it makes me feel like my idol, Stevie Nicks, I have received loads of compliments.

       Also, the Eloquii Kady fit ankle pants start at size 12 and are a dream – they come in regular fit (hourglass) and also specific fits for pear or apple shapes and in short, regular or long length.

    6. Oops, my first attempt posted as a new post:
       My go-to for an event like this would be black ponte pants, my black rag & bone booties and a camel or black funnel neck sweater or a fun jacket. Chic it up with great earrings and a sleek bag.

       I can’t find a perfect copy of the sweaters I got a couple years ago, but I like this one from Violeta: https://shop.mango.com/us/plus-size/cardigans-and-sweaters-sweaters/turtleneck-100-cashmere-sweater_33077610.html?c=05&n=1&s=prendas_violeta.familia;455
       I’ve heard that people love this jacket: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=776181

    7. This might be too late, but I work in the arts (literature) and organise and attend a heap of events like this. I’d recommend sticking with all black or black/grey/charcoal – maybe plant leggings/jeans and a drapey charcoal top. Then some interesting statement jewellery. In fact, any sort of ‘statement’ clothing piece is good. But there is usually a huge range of clothes at an event like this, so I wouldn’t worry too much. Fyi, I’m in New Zealand, so ymmv.

11. Embarrassing moment of the day: I often get lunch with a male colleague; occasionally we go to Din Tai Fung when we want to take a slightly longer lunch than usual. This morning, I texted him “DTF for lunch today?” and he responded “?????”. I clarified that I meant Din Tai Fung and he suggested that I look up DTF in Urban Dictionary. So, now I know what that means and was so embarrassed about my unintentionally illicit lunch suggestion.

    1. that’s hilarious

    2. This is amazing.

    3. Omg I’m 52 and know what DTF means. That is hilarious!!

    4. Hahaha that’s a pretty great story.

12. I feel like the most important thing this election is getting Ds to the polls — but should I go canvassing in my heavily Republican neighborhood then?

    1. Are you helping a particular cause or candidate? Does that cause or candidate have access to something like Vote Builder? You can target specific doors to knock on.

    2. As someone who has both been a candidate and campaigned for many others: you certainly can, but I wouldn’t. You won’t likely have any overall impact that way. Get hooked up with a local campaign, the local party, or the people on the ground in your area for a statewide/congressional/US Senate candidate you support. They have both a database of who they’re looking to target and polling to help them determine strategy and what literature to drop, etc. Just call the office or send an email, this time of year they’re looking for anyone enthusiastic to show up to help. They’ll have big coordinated doorknocking and lit drop events on the weekends, and they will provide you with a walk list or the phone app that takes you from house to house that’s on the list. It’ll skip Strong R, Lean R, etc homes and also tell you who to ask for (say one voter at that residence is Strong R, the other is Lean D).

    3. Consider joining me in Arizona as a legal observer for election day for a long weekend (or 48 hours!) in Phoenix, Tucson, or across the state: https://www.azdem.org/voprovol/ Can’t come to Arizona? We’re also looking for folks to remotely staff our Voter Protection hotline (can be done via app from the comfort of your home or office!) and signups are via the link above as well.

13. My go-to for an event like this would be black ponte pants, my black rag & bone booties and a camel or black funnel neck sweater or a fun jacket. Chic it up with great earrings and a sleek bag.

    I can’t find a perfect copy of the sweaters I got a couple years ago, but I like this one from Violeta: https://shop.mango.com/us/plus-size/cardigans-and-sweaters-sweaters/turtleneck-100-cashmere-sweater_33077610.html?c=05&n=1&s=prendas_violeta.familia;455

    I’ve heard that people love this jacket: https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=776181

14. BigLaw folks, how do you deal with friends who only want to go places for happy hour? 5 pm is just not gonna happen for me. Or who want to see movies/shows on weeknights? I hate telling everyone I’m busy all the time, but… I’m busy.

    1. I hate to say this, but there is a reason why some of my best friends are people I work with, because they just get it. I had to bail on a charity dinner last year after I was almost ready because I got a rush assignment and my work friends were like “sucks, we will have a drink for you” while when I told my high school friends I was accused of being a workaholic. Maybe you need to add some more people to your tribe?

       1. Yes, this. Either people have similar lives, or they are understanding and will meet you in the middle (I would often do early brunch near the office on Saturdays – and generally headed to work afterwards – that was a time that worked for my nonbiglaw friends, but might not work if they have kids).

       2. This. Even if your friends have more flexibility than you, then they need to be understanding and meet you in the middle. It is an issue. It’s an issue with dating as well. You just have to be direct with them. Let em know its not personal, let em know it’s not really an option for you. Don’t try to be optimistic like “oh next time!” –that won’t get the message across. Be direct, and suggest weekend plans. That’s all you can do.

          It sucks. I used to get irked AF when people kept insisting on this stuff and I couldn’t seem to get through. But now that I’m x years into practice and people have kids, too, people seem to have fallen off the 5 pm happy hour bandwagon.

15. Late in the day but I wanted to thank everyone for their helpful advice regarding my bad friendship situation at the tail end of this morning’s post. I went into a meeting for a few hours but I just came out and read your responses and you’ve given me a lot of perspectives to consider – especially that being forgiven is difficult for the person being forgiven.

Comments are closed.