Holiday Weekend Open Thread

57 Comments

1. Ladies, please help me style my evening dress! Having trouble picking shoes and deciding whether to go with a necklace or big earrings. Neckline comes up quite high, if that makes a difference. Link to follow.

   1. http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Hobbs+Twitchill+dress/182007241,default,pd.html?cm_mmc=ShopStyle-_-Women-_-Dresses-_-Twitchill+dress&_$ja=tsid%3a45090%7ckw%3aShopStyle+UK%7ccgn%3a79682&awinDCS=3100_1417036104_b8b410689c5e3a9eb0b51a3409c7a32d%7c%7c0%7c%7c0%7c%7c0%7c%7c1163194060&awc=3100_1417036104_b8b410689c5e3a9eb0b51a3409c7a32d&cm_mmc=AWIN-_-Deeplink-_-NULL-_-NULL&istCompanyId=17910aed-1bae-4362-9580-b523eb87a91e&istItemId=imrqpqmx&istBid=t

   2. I’d go with earrings, and super fun shoes, like black Rockstuds.

      1. Sounds perfect.

         If you can’t go for the 4 figure Valentinos, here’s a bargain wannabe.

         You could do a punchy color.

         http://www.solesociety.com/anneke-granite-black.html

   3. You could go either way on the jewelry. I think a statement necklace of some sort would look great with this neckline. Great dress.

      1. +1 I would actually go statement necklace over earrings because I think the neckline is crying out for something funky! (not in a bad way but that it would be a really fun way to dress it up)

   4. Thanks for the suggestions, ladies! I wish I could do the rockstud thing, but it’s just so not me. Though I am thinking now that an edgier shoe would help keep this look from looking too prim. Glad to hear you ladies like the dress! I am excited.

      1. Beautiful dress! I kind of like the plainness of the neckline. A statement necklace seems too obvious to me…why not let the neckline stay plain, and rock some statement earrings like this: http://www.baublebar.com/jewel-swing-drops-red.html

         And then, lest anyone think you’re too prim, rock these bad boys on your feet: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/diane-von-furstenberg-bianca-pump/3719082?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=6348&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_17_B

         Love the idea of a gold shoe at the holidays.

         1. I LOVE THIS!

2. Reposting from this AM: Holiday Tipping TJ: This is the first year we’ve lived in a very large apartment building in DC, and it’s almost tipping season (…or, at least, “budgeting for tipping season” time). Our building does not, to our knowledge, have a central pool, so we are to tip individually if at all. I have a list of the building staff and we want to tip those that have been helpful and wonderful; we cannot afford to tip everyone.
   What are the holiday tipping norms in DC and what would you tip, say, for the following:
   -daytime and evening front desk people (handle packages and any deliveries, smiling and friendly every day)
   -the maintenance guy (who comes to fix little stuff, but puts up with our two tiny but loud dogs)
   -morning and evening building shuttle drivers (always smiling and happy and helpful, carrying groceries and helping in and out of shuttle, making special trips just for you)
   Generally, I think that the staff in our building is underappreciated and gets a lot of complaints from the older population in the building. The older folks are not always pleasant and have not adjusted gracefully to changes in the building, and I’m a very empathetic person. They loved the old owners, who sold to this company in 2012, but don’t realize that the old company essentially ran the building/company into the ground while they were being so nice. As such, they really treat the newer staff terribly, but probably get the most assistance from them. I want to sort of make up for those grinches if possible!

   1. Yay! Weekend Holiday Open Thread’s! I love this, but this mean’s that we will have to wait until Monday to keep up with all of the event’s that go on! I love the color of these shoe’s (NuBalance), but I have a pair of NIKE Air’s that I am wearing, and will look to wear those out soon so I can get a new pair like this one. These are SO colorful. YAY!

      As for the OP, tipping in DC is not something I am familiar with since when I lived in DC, I was a STUDENt and there was NO one to tip b/c the staff was all working for the school and they got a lot of money from the school.

      But at least in NYC, we tip everyone, and there is NO pool at my coop. Dad handels all tipping for me, and he keeps track of when people joined the coop and whether they were GOOD to me all year. Dad say’s that he spent over $2200 last year “greasing the hired help” for me., which is equivealent to a month’s maintnce. Any more, he say’s would be wasteful. FOOEY b/c I get a bigger bonus at work, but I bill 7200 hours a year. This year, the manageing partner put me in charge of the Christmas holiday party, but I know NOT to reserve anyplace near GONZALO. His hands are all over women, but NOT where they are supposed to be! DOUBEL FOOEY! He asked me to look into reserving some place in Grand Central (someones apartement), but I did NOT know what he was talking about. Since when is there an apartement in Grand Central? Does anyone in the HIVE know what he was talking about?

      Myrna just left with the 4 pie’s we baked. She is leaveing them in her car overnight to stay fresh and will pick me up tomorrow to drive to Chapaqua. Dad went up today and supposedly had a rough time even with his SUV. He said there were a lot of a***hole’s on the road! I am so looking forward to having a great day with the family tomorrow. I need to DECOMPRES from all the work I do, and mom say’s that I need a vacation, but how can I take a vacation with the manageing partner pressureing me to bill 7200 hours? FOOEY! Myrna agrees and say’s we should go to CANCUN or someplace special where it is warm in January. It sound’s good, b/c it is VERY raw today in the city.

      Anyway, enough about ME. Now I wish Kat and the ENTIRE HIVE a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING! YAY!!!

      1. I foresee this ending badly… I get leaving the pies in the car to keep them refrigerated, but I remember the 80s when leaving anything visible in the car meant a broken window.

         1. Yes, either that, or Dad will eat the all of the cakes and then complain about Ellen’s ever growing Tuchis!

3. My son’s preschool is doing a holiday gift-raiser (for lack of a better term). I need to get a gift for an 8 year old. The recipient is anonymous so I am not sure if it is a boy or girl. Any ideas on something in the $20/25 range?

   1. Books!

      1. Book would be my first choice, too.

   2. Books, stickers, art supplies, board games, little lego sets

   3. Board games, or something classic like chess, checkers, backgammon, or cribbage. Books are an excellent choice too.

   4. Legos or one of the erector set type things might also be cool. Or a “my first science lab” type thing.

      1. A bit late but I’ve heard good things about those plus plus building sets.

4. Deleted – wrong place.

5. I have been invited to a holiday party on a Friday after work (9pm) with guests including some coworkers of the same seniority level as myself (entry-level/early career, no management people). Suggested attire is c*cktail. Is this dress appropriate, either with or without tights? And please don’t say no before looking at it, based purely on the brand name…

   http://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/dresses/party/camellia-lace-dress/pc/38/c/40/7562.uts?swatchName=Fern+Green+Bamboo+Geo+Lace

   Please note that I’m short, so it’s not scandalously short like on the model, but it is definitely above the knee and not knee length. There’s a picture of a non-model wearing the dress if you scroll down, near the description.

   1. Looks fine. I think the length on the model is fine for an evening holiday party with coworkers, so I don’t think you have to worry about looking “scandalous.” Not sure how I’d feel about it with tights–I think black would be too much of a contrast, but I can’t think of anything better.

   2. I think that dress is really pretty! I wouldn’t wear it with tights, though. Maybe some metallic shoes and fun, sparkly jewelry and it’s perfect and appropriate for a holiday party.

   3. 9pm on a Friday sounds like a nightmare

      1. +1

         1. Why?

6. What do you ladies do on weekday evenings to relax and unwind at home? I’m looking for non-computer/iPad/TV/ Kindle (basically anything that involves staring at a screen) suggestions. Interested in both solo and couple activities. Thanks!

   1. I have rediscovered coloring books. I have always been a creative mind, and I found some vellum-printed coloring books of mandalas and stained glass windows. So when you color (especially with marker) the effect is a “stained glass window” because the vellum is translucent. I also read, and I mix it up between print and nook reading.
      Knitting is also a good unwinder.

      1. I like these types of activities. They require concentration without any real thought, and i find having to focus on something that’s easy helps me unwind because i can’t run through the day’s events in my head.

         I have done coloring and paint by numbers.

         1. I love guided meditation apps – Headspace and Stop,Think,Breathe for the same reasons. They occupy my brain without exhausting my mental energy.

   2. I am glad I am not the only grown-up who colours. :) I have rediscovered puzzles, and I often have a little project on the go – refinishing a small piece of furniture, making easy homemade Christmas ornaments, etc. I also play piano. I really try to keep at least two evenings a week screen-free.

   3. I knit. A lot. Usually with talk radio on.

   4. … sex …

   5. Option A: Yoga. I practice Mysore-style Ashtanga for both physical and emotional/mental benefits. Traditionally, this is done early in the morning, six days a week, but I found a studio that offers evening classes. Although this style of yoga is best learned from a dedicated teacher, there are a number of resources out there if you want to develop a home practice. The real deal is from K Pattabhi Jois Ashtanga Yoga Institute in Mysore, India (KP Jois’s grandson Sharath carries on the name). Kino MacGregor (https://www.youtube.com/user/KinoYoga) is one of the most popular American ashtangis on social media. If you want to dabble, find David Swenson’s “Ashtanga Yoga: The Practice Manual” in your library to learn modified postures that are appropriate for a home practice without a teacher.

      Option B: A bottle of wine and commiseration with your partner.

      1. I’m an Ashtangi too! Great to meet one! But I practice in the mornings hence the need for something to do at home in the evenings as I am very rarely out on evenings due to the need to sleep early and eat properly. :) Hope to visit Mysore one day..

   6. Thank you everyone who chimed in, very helpful and I’m definitely going to look into coloring!

7. Happy thanksgiving, hive!

8. It is completely irrational how much I want the Lo&Sons Pearl. Completely. Irrational. There is no way that $175 purse could actually solve all the world’s problems, right?

   1. …anything is possible, especially at 30% off….

9. Hi all, my firm approached me about doing a secondment at a client’s office for 3-65 months. We haven’t sent anyone out on one of these for many years so they said “we will have to work something out with respect to your compensation.” Can anyone offer me input on the way that compensation typically works on secondment? I am an associate on lockstep salary, with an hours target and a billing target, and bonuses if those targets are exceeded. Do I ask for straight hours for time worked at the client’s office? Will I be billed at a reduced rate? Is there another ratio of hours I should suggest? Any and all help is welcome, I suspect the partners may try to offer me a less than optimal compensation package and I will have to negotiate. It’s not that they’re trying to screw me but they don’t always put much thought into h0w things will work out in the long run. TIA!

   1. I meant 3-6 months… not 65, wow.

   2. At my firm, you continue to get your normal salary. The firm is doing a favor for the client (business development) and presumably helping you as a valued associate.

      1. The same is true with my firm. But be careful because you can easily be forgotten about at the firm. The good side is that you get to experience what actually goes on i- house, and if you like that, you will have an “in” if you decide to make the jump. Of course, you will have to take a big pay cut to work in house, but your hours will be very predictable and you will be able to outsource the difficult work to outside counsel (your old firm), where they will charge for work you do not want to do in-house.

   3. My firm does secondments quite commonly. I did one for 8 months at a client and it was a fantastic experience — highly recommend.

      For us, compensation always remains the same — the firm continues to pay you at your normal salary. You “bill” hours worked at the client to a special billing code (so it’s not ‘billable hours’ at the client, just number of hours you were there, like 8 hours a day). The actual question of who “pays” for the associate usually depends on the relationship with the particular client — some secondees are free to the client, and some clients pay all or some of the salary (while benefits usually still get paid by the firm).

      We don’t have an hours minimum for bonuses, so that’s one complication we don’t have to think about.

      If possible, depending on the nature of the work, you should serve as the “liaison” between the client and the firm — that way you keep up your visibility at the firm while you’re gone, because they’re constantly hearing from you and working on things with you (and *for* you, which is delightful and odd).

   4. My experience is that the firm continued to pay normal salary throughout 6 month secondment.

10. At my old firm, this was a “hint” that it was maybe time for you to start looking to go in-house, and an attempt to give you a soft landing. So, go, but I’d also be looking for other signs that my time is almost up…

    1. That’s definitely not the case at my firm, so OP, take that with a grain of salt.

    2. Same. In fact, it is typically a compliment and the goal is really for you to return to the firm and become a reason why the client keeps using the firm. The possibility that you will choose to stay at the client is a second choice, with the hope being that you will send work back to the firm. My firm definitely does not want to lend its clients a lawyer who is not in the firm’s favor.

    3. Agreed with anonymous. My firm only seconds people that we’re happy to do without for 3-6 months (and we’d be delighted if those people found a home at the client and didn’t come back).

11. Could this jacket be worn as a blazer with a non-matching dress in a different color (dark grey or cobalt)?
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/boss-hugo-boss-jaliva-jacket/3606275

    1. I give that a resounding yes. To me, the neckline, detailing, slight texture, and length make this perfect for pairing with a non-matching dress. It definitely does not scream “part of a suit” to me. I hope you bought it, as it appears sold out. If not, I’ve had good luck with merchandise reappearing at Nordstrom’s, though it requires regular check-ins and a readiness to quickly pull the trigger (or perhaps this can be outsourced to some kind of app that I don’t have).

12. New home sought for husband who pronounced Thanksgiving meal “fine” and “nothing blew me away.”

    Is prone to utterances of, “I’m just being honest.”

    Has all shots. Is housebroken (mostly.)

    1. He should go to cooking school if his cooking disappoints him so much.

    2. Maybe his work in the bedroom is fine, but didn’t blow you away. You know, just being honest.

    3. Yeah, I don’t care for “I’m just being honest.” Seventy percent of my total energy expenditure during a holiday week is needed to either 1) find something kind to say or 2) keep my mouth shut. Was it really necessary to say that nothing blew him away? He couldn’t force out the words: “Great mashed potatoes, hon”? Ooops, I mean: I’m sure he has many great qualities.

    4. If it makes you feel any better, I was away visiting family for the entire past week by myself (he has less vacation than me) with my 2 year old & I’m 7 months pregnant. Asked husband to do literally 5 things that are tough to do with a toddler around or are now difficult/dangerous for me to do since I’m rather pregnant. He only did the easiest 2 things. This morning.

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